The Alchemist and the Warrior
by Aeluin
Summary: Born and raised in Cyrodiil, Agda is a young Nord who has just moved to Riverwood. Since her fighting skills are very poor, she finds a job at the local inn, where she spends most of her time brewing potions and attending to the few patrons. On a dark rainy night, her life is suddenly turned upside down by a mysterious warrior (mDB x fOC; warnings for violence, torture and more).
1. Prologue

**Author's note:**

 **Hello everyone! This is my first fanfiction.**

 **English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize in advance for the spelling/grammar mistakes you may find. I hope they're not too bad and that they won't change the general meaning of the story. If you have any question, feel free to pm me.**

 **The rating is currently T, but may change to M after the first few chapters.** **The actual story takes place two years after the prologue.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 **12th of Second Seed, 4E 199**

 _Vigdis' eyes wandered over the vast tundra surrounding Whiterun._ _From the gates of the city she could see Pelagia's farm and the brewery, the tall mountains and the calm rivers, the red sky and the setting sun._

 _The woman in white sighed and laid a hand on her belly. It was an absent-minded gesture, one she would often repeat during the day._

 _"Our baby isn't born yet, but you're already protecting him", Steinarius had once told her._

 _The memory made Vigdis smile._ _In that moment, the young Nord was truly a sight to behold: her dark curls fell loosely on her shoulders, creating a pleasant contrast with the white dress she was wearing; her black eyes reflected the movements of the setting sun, whereas her smile was full of hope, love and tenderness. She was very tall and looked ethereal and imposing at the same time._

 _When a rider approached the stables, a gust of wind carried her the scent of the man, causing an even wider smile to appear on her face. The werewolf inside her would recognize that smell everywhere: it was a mixture of leather and sweat and blood, a mixture of juniper and lavender and nightshade._ _But most of all, it was the scent of the man she loved._

 _Steinarius looked very tired as he dragged himself along the cobbled road that led to the gates of the city. When she heard him grunt, Vigdis couldn't help but snort - the Imperial loved experimenting with weapons, therefore he carried a shield, a short-sword, a greatsword and a bow on most of his missions._ _Vigdis couldn't understand why he bothered: after all, at the end of the day he always went back to his battered shield and his rusty sword._

 _As she walked towards her man, Vigdis carefully examined his tousled blonde hair, his placid grey eyes, his uncommon pale complexion._ _Steinarius looked tired, but he was unhurt._ _When the young Nord realized it, she immediately threw her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck._

 _Even after breaking the embrace, Vigdis didn't say anything - t_ _here were no "I love you", no "I've missed you", no "I can't live without you"._ _She didn't need to utter those words – Steinarius could clearly read them in the depth of her eyes._

* * *

 _Later, after he and his woman had gently made love to each other, Steinarius noticed that Vigdis was still wearing her old Amulet of Mara._

 _As he absent-mindedly toyed with it, he thought about the upcoming wedding._

 _He couldn't wait to be a happy husband and a proud father._

 _When he noticed how tired Vigdis looked, the Imperial gathered her in his arms and started singing a lullaby._ _He had a deep, soothing voice that soon echoed through the walls of Breezehome._

 _"The baby seems to love your lullabies", Vigdis whispered at the end of the song. "He's finally stopped kicking"._

 _"Everyone loves my lullabies", Steinarius commented with a mischievous smile. "Perhaps I should leave the Companions and work as a bard at the Bannered Mare"._

 _"So that all the women of Whiterun could swoon after you? No way, Imperial"._

 _Amused by Vigdis' reply, Steinarius lovingly kissed her cheek. He was tired because of the long journey from Winterhold to Whiterun, but didn't want to fall asleep before her._

 _An hour later, as Steinarius was tracing gentle circles on her belly, Vigdis muttered some incoherent words about them, the wedding, the baby._ _A moment later she was asleep._

 _As he looked at her peaceful expression, Steinarius Crepusculus could only think of one thing: he loved his woman and couldn't imagine a life without her._


	2. Agda

**Author's note:**

 **This chapter takes place two years after the Prologue and introduces my OC Agda. If you don't feel like reading her backstory, skip to chapter 3.**

 **As always, thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **25th of First Seed, 4E 201**

It was a late afternoon in Riverwood. The sky had already turned dark and a soft rain was falling from the clouds lingering above the village. The main street of the settlement was empty, whereas the air carried the unique smell of wet soil. The only sounds to be heard were produced by Alvor, the blacksmith of the village.

 _Not a good day to collect ingredients_ , Agda thought to herself.

She was a Nord in her twenties, with dark blond hair and big brown eyes. She wasn't particularly beautiful – her face was ordinary, her complexion was too pale, her figure was everything but imposing.

With a resigned sigh, the girl ran from the local good shops to the _Sleeping Giant_ , the inn where she worked. The effort left her panting for a few seconds, whereas the mud puddles stained her dress.

Agda snorted: she hated rainy days, just like she hated physical exercise.

When the young Nord opened the door to the inn, she was immediately greeted by Delphine's stern look.

"You should do something to keep yourself fit", the Breton frowned as soon as she noticed the pained look on Agda's face. "You can't pant like that just because you've run from Lucan's shop to the inn".

"There's nothing I can do to improve my shape", Agda sheepishly replied. "You know very well that the only time I tried to swing a sword, I dislocated my shoulder".

Delphine shook her head. Surprisingly enough, she liked Agda: the girl was a hard worker, provided her with good company and seemed to love the dull life she was leading. At the same time, however, Agda looked completely oblivious of the _Skyrim way of life_ , as Sven the Bard sometimes called it – she didn't drink mead, couldn't brawl, despised fighting and hunting and boasting and everything that was usually connected to Nordic traditions.

Born in the cozy city of Anvil, Agda wasn't one of those bulky women from Falkreath, or Dawnstar, or Windhelm; she was the daughter of two merchants who had spent most of their lives in Cyrodiil, where their eldest daughter had been raised to become a trader. Unfortunately, six months earlier the quiet life of the Seafarer's family had undergone a drastic change.

Agda was in Kvatch when the Thalmor raided her parents' shop. As soon as she found out what happened, the girl felt angry. A second later, she felt scared and vulnerable.

Her parents immediately fled to High Rock on one of their many trading ships, whereas Agda headed for Skyrim. Kareti the Wise and Leifur the Seafarer weren't happy with her decision - Skyrim was a dangerous place, full of rebels and Thalmor and foul creatures of all sorts. Nevertheless, they eventually allowed their daughter to do as she pleased.

Just like her parents had predicted, Agda regretted her choice as soon as she crossed the border. Skyrim was a land of immense beauty, of vast pinewoods and clear skies, but it was no place for the weak – something the young girl found out at her expense.

The first time a wolf attacked the caravan she was travelling with, Agda let out a terrified scream; a few minutes later, when two bandits tried to rob her, she closed her eyes and prayed to the Divines; then, when a bear appeared out of nowhere, she fainted and almost fell off her carriage.

When the trading caravan stopped in Riverwood for the night, Agda had already had enough of her Skyrim nonsense. As she tossed and turned in her bed and listened to the sound of the falling rain, the young Nord realized that she wasn't ready to travel all the way up to Solitude, to survive the sudden storms of the Pale, to fight against sabre cats and rogues and undead and all the other gruesome creatures that infested the country. Painfully aware of her weakness, on the following morning she announced her decision to interrupt the journey.

"I'll remain in Riverwood for a few days", she said. "As soon as another trading caravan rides through the village, I will kindly ask them to take me back to Cyrodiil".

The men she was travelling with were very pleased by her decision – after all, the girl was nothing but a burden. They shook hands with her, wished her good luck, then they resumed their long journey towards the north.

Unfortunately, as soon as those men left Riverwood, Agda noticed that her coin purse had disappeared.

That realization made her feel outraged – outraged and terrified. She was alone, in a land she didn't know and she was surrounded by complete strangers. Moreover, she didn't own anything to her name. She couldn't even pay a courier to ask her parents for gold: all her money and belongings were lost, completely and utterly lost.

Her trip to Skyrim had just become a nightmare.

* * *

In those moments of rage and fear and despair, Agda was unexpectedly helped by the people of Riverwood.

Since the innkeeper wouldn't host her unless she paid for a room, Agda lived for a few weeks with Gerdur, the owner of the local lumber mill. The girl did her best to help her new friend with her business, but with poor results: after two days of work, Agda's back was so sore that she had to take a whole week off.

Despite the girl's low stamina, Gerdur still wanted to help her. She therefore asked Alvor to take on the girl as apprentice.

The blacksmith spent a whole month trying to teach the weird Nord how to forge weapons, but it soon became clear that Agda wasn't cut for that job. The same happened when she tried to harvest crops, to use a fishing rod and to skin animals for their pelts.

By the end of her second month in Skyrim, Agda had fallen into despair – she still hadn't managed to get in touch with her parents and had sadly realized that no trading caravan ever rode through Riverwood. Moreover, she was well aware of one thing: she was still alive just because people _pitied_ her.

Agda wasn't an ordinary Nord, but she was as proud as all the other daughters of Skyrim. She couldn't just accept the help that was being offered to her – she felt obliged to give something in return.

Since she couldn't pay her new friends for their hospitality, one day Agda took a big breath and ventured in the woods that surrounded Riverwood. She wanted to prepare gifts for all those who had been kind to her - and since alchemy was the only thing she was good at, Agda left the safety of the village in order to collect ingredients.

That trip along the White River was the most terrifying experience the young girl had ever had. For the whole time she clutched the iron dagger Alvor had given her, jumped with fear at every noise, hid behind the trees whenever she felt in danger. Still, she somehow managed to collect the flowers and mushrooms she needed.

After two long hours, Agda eventually came back to Riverwood and asked Delphine the permission to use the alchemy lab in her inn. The Breton didn't mind – after all, the patrons were becoming scarcer and scarcer because of the war.

Thanks to the innkeepers' help, that night Agda could proudly present the people of Riverwood with many different potions, that she happily donated to everyone she knew. There were stamina potions for those who worked at the mill, health potions for those who ventured outside the village, potions to allow the fishermen to breathe under water, potions to help Alvor with his work at the forge… Everyone in Riverwood received a little, meaningful gift and started to like Agda more.

Over the following days, things started to look brighter for the young Nord: Lucan Valerius asked her to create potions and poisons for his customers, Orgnar gave her the permission to use his ingredients and his lab whenever she wanted, Faendal brought her the mushrooms and flowers he found near the village.

After a few weeks, Agda fell into a comfortable routine: she brewed potions whenever she had the chance, used her knowledge of magic to heal those who came down with an illness, helped Gerdur and Sigrid look after their children. Eventually, Delphine offered her a room in the _Sleeping Giant_ – in return, all Agda had to do was help her with the patrons.

Over her first six months in Skyrim, Agda had slowly fallen in love the quiet life she was leading: she was getting used to the sudden thunderstorms of Skyrim, didn't worry about Bleak Fall Barrow anymore, felt loved and respected by everyone she knew.

She no longer missed the life she had left behind and firmly believed she had found her place in the world.


	3. Riders on the storm

**Author's note:**

 **The chapter about Agda was quiet boring, so I decided to introduce some action by posting another chapter.**

 **If you have any critic/suggestion/whatever, do feel free to leave a review - this is my first fanfic, therefore I'd really love to hear your comments about it.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **25th of First Seed, 4E 201**

 _Being the newest girl in town surely had some downsides – and being forced to work during the night was actually one of them_ , Agda thought as she laid down in a bedroll behind the counter of the inn. It was well past midnight and she was looking forward to reading the history tome that Delphine had just lent her.

An hour later, the young Nord fell asleep with the book on her chest and a candle beside her. The rain was still falling, the inn was desert and Agda was sure that no one would bother her until dawn. She changed her mind a few minutes past two, when someone gently shook her. Agda abruptly woke up, grabbed her rusty dagger and pointed it towards the intruder.

"Sven, for Talos' sake!", she squeaked as she recognized the man who had snuck up to her bedroll.

Only then did Agda realize that she had grabbed her dagger by the blade, thus cutting herself. When the blood started trickling down her hand, the girl cursed.

"Agda, you know I wouldn't bother you if it weren't important", Sven immediately hushed her.

Tall and strong and blond, Sven worked as a bard at the _Sleeping Giant_. A true Nord through and through, he had deep blue eyes and was one of the most irritating people Agda had ever had the misfortune to know. In that moment, however, his usual cocky smile had been replaced by a worried expression.

"If you want to talk about Camilla…"

"It's not about Camilla. It's about my mother".

Upon hearing those words, Agda frowned. Hilde, Sven's mother, was the perfect example of a Nord woman in her seventies: she disliked Argonians, she dislikes Imperials, she disliked Bretons, she disliked Khajits, she disliked Elves… In a few words, she disliked everyone but her son.

Unfortunately, over the last few months Hilde had started to suffer from a weird illness – she would get up in the middle of the night and start screaming at everyone who tried to soothe her. On those occasions, Sven could only rely on Agda's calming spells.

Worried by the terrified look in the bard's eyes, the girl immediately stood up and went for the door. She had no time to lose: whenever Hilde had one of her outbursts, Sven would tie her to a chair. As predictable, that rough treatment only increased the pitch of her screams.

As Agda ran to Hilde's house, she hissed. It was raining cats and dogs and the twin moons were nowhere to be seen. By the time she entered Sven's house, the young Nord was panting heavily, whereas her skirt had been completely covered by mud. Nonetheless, she immediately went for Hilde and knelt down in front of her.

Ignoring the nasty insults that the crazy woman was screaming at her and her ancestors, Agda cast a weak calming spell, then gently stroked her cheek.

* * *

It took Hilde more than an hour to finally calm down.

During that long amount of time, Agda asked Sven to reach the inn and take care of the eventual patrons. That situation made her very nervous: if Delphine woke up and found her gone, Agda would probably be in for a long reprimand.

After many efforts, the young innkeeper eventually managed to tuck Hilde into her comfortable bed. The older woman immediately fell asleep, causing Agda to sigh in relief.

"You've made it!"

Agda was startled by Sven's unexpected appearance.

"I told you not to leave the inn", she hissed as the man shed his cloak.

The bard simply chuckled.

"Agda, it's raining cats and dogs, it's three o'clock in the morning and the inn is empty. You won't have any patron tonight: no one in their right mind would face this awful weather just to reach Riverwood. They'd rather stop in Helgen or in Whiterun".

Agda had to admit that Sven was right.

"You can spend the night here, if you want", the bard said when he noticed how tired the girl looked. "If you go outside, you'll only get soaked to the bone".

Although Sven's offer was very tempting, Agda didn't want to make things worse: if Delphine found out she had left the inn and slept at Sven's place, she wouldn't just lose her job - the Breton would also beg Faendal to use her as a training dummy for his archery skills.

Shivering at the thought, Agda turned down Sven's offer and faced the hell that was raging outside. The man had volunteered to go with her, but Agda didn't want him to get soaked again. Therefore, she bid him farewell and ran off into the night.

* * *

The gentle rain of the afternoon had been replaced by a scary thunderstorm. When she realized that, Agda let out a vulgar curse, which was immediately silenced by a loud thunder. A few seconds later, as the young Nord was panting under the storm, she suddenly heard a weird noise.

A rider was approaching – and said rider was galloping wildly.

Agda froze in her steps, then hid in the shadows of Lucan' shop.

 _Who could be so desperate to ride through a thunderstorm at that time of the night?_

Agda had heard legends about demonic horses and beheaded riders, about ghosts and assassins, about criminals and thieves wreaking havoc at unexpected times. With a shiver, she grabbed her dagger and stood still for an endless amount of time.

She prayed to Talos that no one could see her.


	4. If on a rainy night a traveller

**Author's note:**

 **We've already met Agda, now it's time for her to meet a weird man from Cyrodiil. This should be the last chapter before things finally get interesting.**

 **The title comes from " _If on a winter night a traveller_ ", an interesting book I read not long ago.**

 **Thank you for reading - and please let me know what you think of the story so far!**

* * *

 **26th of First Seed, 4E 201**

The horse eventually got closer. It was panting heavily and its mouth was foaming because of the exhaustion. As soon as the dark-coated animal reached the entrance of the village, its desperate run came to a halt. Despite the pouring rain, Agda noticed that its rider was very tall and slender. He wore heavy steel boots, whereas the rest of his body was covered by a black cloak. His face was shadowed by a hood that left out only the bearded tip of his chin.

Agda addressed a silent prayer to the Divines: the stranger looked like an assassin from the Dark Brotherhood and seemed keen on staying where he was. There was no way she could sneak past him and find shelter at the inn.

All of a sudden, the man hopped off his horse and headed for the _Sleeping Giant_. When he tried to open the door, he let out a curse. In that moment, Agda's face turned pale – Sven had apparently used his emergency key to lock down the tavern. Had Delphine found out about that, the bard would have surely lost his job.

The mysterious rider wrestled with the door for a few moments, then shook his head and muttered something under his breath. When Agda realized that he was about to leave, she frowned. _The Sleeping Giant_ needed money and Delphine was very nervous because of the lack of patrons.

Had the Breton found out about that lost customer…

Terrified by that thought, Agda took a big breath and eventually left the safety of the shadows.

* * *

As soon as the girl abandoned her shelter, the traveler unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards her. When the tip of the dwarven blade reached her throat, Agda let out a terrified scream, that was unfortunately muffled by a thunder.

"I work at the inn", she managed to squeak as she was forced to take a few steps backwards. "If you want a bed, I can open the door and let you have one. I can also cook you dinner, or breakfast, or whatever you want".

 _I can also father your children or massage your feet, but please let me live_.

The stranger immediately withdrew his weapon.

"I thought you were a thief", he said with a weird singsong accent. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just panicked when I saw you. Are you alright?"

 _A thief, sure. As if thieves wore fancy yellow dresses and couldn't even use a weapon_ , Agda thought with a snort. Nevertheless, the stranger's apologies somehow managed to reassure her.

She said she was perfectly fine, then she pointed the man in the direction of Gerdur's house.

"There is a little farm over there" she explained. "You can leave your horse there, if you want. Meanwhile I'll prepare you a room at the inn".

As the stranger thanked her and led his horse towards Gerdur's house, Agda unlocked the door of the tavern with her spare key.

Luckily enough, Delphine wasn't awake.

* * *

The stranger reached the inn a few minutes later, when Agda had already used a few spells to dry her clothes and her hair. He walked on his tiptoes to avoid flooding the floor, something the young girl found very endearing. Nevertheless, Agda was displeased when the man didn't take off his cloak and his hood.

"We have a spare room over there", she said as soon as the stranger reached the counter.

"I'm sure that the room is nice", he said without even examining the bed he had been given. "Do you by any chance have anything left to eat? I'm afraid I'm starving. Stale bread is perfectly fine: it's very late and I don't want to bother you any further".

For the third time that night, Agda was surprised by the stranger's manners.

"I can cook you something, if you want. I can also prepare you a bath".

Under his hood, the man's eyes probably widened in awe.

 _"I'd kill_ for a hot bath. If it doesn't bother you, of course".

Smiling at his enthusiastic reply, Agda immediately reached the spare room on her left. The people of Riverwood usually bathed in the White River, but the inn patrons could rely on a makeshift bath formed by a metal basin.

Agda filled it with water, then heated it with a spell.

"Your bath is ready", she told the stranger.

When Agda asked him what he wanted to eat, he repeated that stale bread was perfectly fine. Yet, when the girl mentioned her famous Horker Stew, he immediately went for it.

* * *

As Agda was cooking, she sometimes glanced towards the locked room where the mysterious man was bathing. She felt completely safe now that she had talked to him, but she didn't know why. Perhaps Hilde's madness had slowly started to affect her.

Half an hour later, as the mysterious man got out of the spare room, Agda couldn't help but stare at him in awe. The stranger had shed his cloak and hood, replacing them with a clean shirt and fine trousers. He had short blond hair, that were now damp and stuck on his forehead. His grey eyes were surrounded by weird golden circles that gave him an innocent, yet sad look. His complexion was pale, whereas his face was now perfectly shaven. Under his shirt, Agda could see the taut lines of his shoulders and his pale chest hairs.

As the stranger went for his room, he gave Agda a little smile. The girl didn't even realize it - in that moment, she couldn't take her eyes off the man's perfect torso.

"I suppose that I look less threatening now", he said.

Agda somehow managed to regain her composure and nod at that comment. As the stranger laid his soaked clothes on his bed, she immediately went back to her usual professional self.

"You can leave your clothes by the fire, if you want", she suggested. "They'll dry sooner".

The man thanked her for the tip, then placed his cloak and hood near the fireplace. Agda noticed that he had left the rest of his clothes on the bed, as though he didn't want her to see them. From her place behind the counter, she could only make out a weird leather cuirass.

Before Agda could ask for an explanation, the stranger let out a curse - as he was laying his cloak by the fireplace, the piece of cloth had suddenly began to burn. Agda rescued it, then stitched it with a few spells.

"You probably thought I was a threat when you first saw me" , the man sighed. "Yet, now you've discovered the truth: I can't even dry my clothes without causing a disaster".

"Perhaps you're a threat to clothes".

Although that comment was quite lame, the stranger unexpectedly burst into laughter. Agda, on the other hand, blushed: she had just made a joke and a handsome man was laughing because of it. It definitely was her lucky night.

As her patron sat down at the counter, he asked Agda where she came from.

"My parents are from Skyrim, but I grew up in Anvil".

The man welcomed the news with a smile.

"We were probably neighbors, once upon a time. I'm from Kvatch".

"From Kvatch? I thought you were from Chorrol! Your accent…"

"Dad was from Chorrol", the stranger explained. "I'm afraid I've inherited his boring accent, as well as his hooked nose. Mum instead was from Kvatch, just like most of my ancestors".

Agda couldn't hide her surprise.

"Even if your ancestors were from Kvatch, you don't look like an Imperial at all! You have blonde hair, grey eyes, a pale complexion..."

"I know, I know", the man chuckled. "The _Nordic appearance starter pack_ was a gift from my grandma. She was from Falkreath and met my grandpa when she joined the Legion. All my ancestors were born and raised in the Imperial Province. She's the only exception".

Those few sentences marked the beginning of a friendly conversation. Agda would have liked to ask the man what his name was and why he was riding through Riverwood at that time of the night, but didn't want to seem too curious - after all, the best innkeepers were those who could listen to their patrons without asking useless questions. The stranger, on the other hand, was very chatty: he asked Agda what her name was, where her parents were born, why she was in Riverwood, what her hobbies were… The girl felt as though she was being questioned by a Thalmor.

When she told the man about her love for alchemy, he seemed very impressed.

"I once knew a woman who could brew every potion in the world. Unfortunately, she never managed to teach me anything - I'm as dumb as a Horker when it comes to dealing with mushrooms".

Agda wanted to comfort the stranger by telling him that alchemy was a very difficult art, but stopped in her tracks when Delphine appeared in the main hall. Apparently, the continuous chatter had disturbed her sleep.

"Who is this man, Agda?", Delphine asked with her usual suspicious tone. Although she had just woken up, she was perfectly alert.

Before Agda could even open her mouth, the stranger edged himself into the conversation.

"There's no need to worry about me. I'm just a simple patron".

Despite the man's reassuring smile, Delphine didn't relax.

"If you really are a simple customer, then you can tell me your name", she said with her default stern expression. "You could also be so kind to explain me what brought you here in the middle of the night".

"I'm afraid my name is mine, and mine alone. Unfortunately, the same goes for my business".

"No honest man is afraid to say his name", Delphine pointed out.

"I've never claimed to be an honest man", the man carelessly said.

Agda was startled by that bold reply. _Had she made a mistake by admitting that weird Imperial inside the inn?_

Worried by the man's mysterious ways, Delphine reached the dagger strapped to her waist.

"There's no need to fuss, Breton", the stranger said as soon as he noticed that movement. "Here are three hundred septims. For your hospitality _and_ for your silence".

Delphine's default frown got even deeper than usual.

"Why do you need my silence?"

"I'm an Imperial and Imperials aren't particularly appreciated in this frozen land of yours", the man said. "In case you haven't noticed, there's a civil war going on".

While her eyes darted back and forth between Delphine and the stranger, Agda didn't know what to think. The man was well-mannered and looked like a common traveler. Still, his mysterious ways were very unusual.

 _If he was an honest man, why was he so eager on hiding his identity?_

There was a long tense silence as Delphine carefully eyed the coin purse the stranger was offering her. 300 septims were a lot of money and the _Sleeping Giant_ was in terrible need of gold. Delphine would have been mad to refuse that offer, but at the same time she didn't want to run any risk with the local guards.

 _If the stranger was a criminal..._

"You can stay for the night, but I want you to leave at sunrise", the Breton eventually decided.

Probably alerted by Delphine's cold tone, the man agreed without protests.

As soon as the deal was struck, the Breton went back to bed, whereas the stranger rose from his stool. When he bid Agda good night and disappeared behind the locked door of his bedroom, the girl couldn't help but frown. She wanted to find out more about him, but didn't want to seem too curious.

* * *

As Agda was cleaning the bowl the stranger had used for his well-past-midnight snack, she noticed a letter on the floor of the inn. It was near the fireplace, not far from the mysterious man's cloak. Agda looked at it for a moment, then decided to act - after all, as a wise man once said, _the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it._

With that thought in mind, Agda grabbed the letter and examined it carefully. The envelope didn't give her any clue about the stranger's identity, whereas the seal was a simple red mark. The girl didn't dare to break it, so she decided to put the letter back where it belonged. Still, when Agda finally found the only pocket on the stranger's cloak, she unexpectedly came across what she was looking for – a little dragon-like symbol on the inside of the cloth.

As soon as Agda saw it, her jaw dropped to the floor.

The stranger was a member of the Imperial Legion – and if the way he was desperately hiding his identity meant anything, he probably had a very high rank.

* * *

Agda laid in her bedroll for what felt like centuries. She wanted to stay awake and ask the stranger a few trick questions about his work, but her tiredness eventually got the upper hand.

When she woke up the following morning, the man was already gone. Nevertheless, before Agda could let out one of her usual curses, she noticed a weird leather satchel next to her bedroll. Attached to it there was a handwritten note:

 _Thank you again for your hospitality, Agda - if you hadn't saved me from that thunderstorm, I would have probably come down with a flu. I wanted to tell you that your_ _Horker Stew was delicious and that my cloak looks better than ever._ _Given your love for alchemy, I've decided to leave you a satchel containing a few rare ingredients._ _I'm sure that you'll put them to good use._

 _To our next meeting,_

 _S. C._


	5. Imagine Dragons

**Author's note:**

 **First of all: a big thank you to Zero121 for their review. It was very nice to hear your opinion on my story :) A huge _thank you_ also goes out to all those who are following this fanfic - your support is a wonderful morale boost to me. **

**Anyway, back to business.**

 **Here we are - the 17th of Last Seed, aka " _the day when it all began_ ". **

**We all know what happened in Helgen, therefore I decided to avoid the usual boring description of Alduin's attack. I've also made a slight change to the original story.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **17th of Last Seed, 4E 201**

 _To our next meeting_.

Over the course of the following weeks, Agda couldn't get these words out of her head.

What kind of man would write her such things and then vanish into nothing?

S _urely not a member of the Imperial Legion_ , the young Nord thought to herself. _Surely not the mysterious S. C_.

After their encounter, Agda often thought about the weird Imperial she had saved from Skyrim's awful weather; she thought about his singsong accent and his deep voice, about his broad shoulders and taut chest ( _especially_ about his broad shoulders and taut chest), about his clumsiness and his politeness. Yet, after many months of happy thoughts and merry daydreaming, Agda eventually gave up hope: although she had already chosen the names of their children, the stranger had probably forgotten her.

The realization upsetted her. Agda wasn't mad at S. C. for giving her false hopes – she was mad at herself for being such a stupid little girl.

She was almost 25, how could she still believe in fairy tales?

Out of rage, Agda burnt the handwritten note the stranger had left her. Nevertheless, she used his ingredients to brew a few potions.

She was angry, but she wasn't dumb – and S. C.'s canis roots were the best ones she had seen in a while.

* * *

"Hilde has just seen a dragon flying over the mountains", Orgnar muttered as he entered the inn with some firewood in his arms.

Agda couldn't help but roll her eyes. Over the previous months, Sven's mother had got even crazier than usual. Nonetheless, that was the first time she mentioned a fire-spitting lizard. If that meant anything, Agda was probably in for a sleepless night by her side.

Before the girl could express her opinion on the matter, the door of the inn creaked open again. Although Sigrid was doing her best to smile, Agda realized that the young woman was very worried.

"Agda, could you please come and check my husband? I'm afraid he has hurt himself with a hammer".

Agda immediately abandoned the bowl she was cleaning. Orgnar silently took her place behind the counter, whereas Delphine was nowhere to be seen.

The Breton had left the inn early that morning. As she got out of the front-door, she was wearing a skinny leather armor and a weird brown hood. Despite her surprise, Agda hadn't asked her anything – judging from her murderous gaze, in that moment Delphine was probably entertaining the idea of killing her for being up earlier than usual.

As Agda walked next to Sigrid, the other woman sighed. They were now in the main street of the village and could enjoy the clear summer sky.

"You know my nephew Hadvar, don't you?"

Agda snorted. _Of course she knew Hadvar_. The young soldier was sweet and kind and caring and on a particularly glorious occasion he had even asked her out on a date. Unfortunately, his shyness – combined with Agda's – had produced the most embarrassing evening the two young Nords had ever spent: they had walked to Helgen in perfect silence, then they had talked about dull topics such as the weather, the knees of the local guards, the type of blankets used by the Legion.

The memory of that fiasco was enough to make Agda blush.

"You must promise me that you won't leave my house as soon as Hadvar starts speaking", Sigrid said after Agda told her that she was well acquainted with the boy. "He's just come back from Helgen and has taken an injured woman with him. She needs your help".

Agda frowned. Apparently, _sweet, kind and caring Hadvar_ had already replaced her with another woman.

As she heard the news, whatever little esteem Agda still held for the male population of Tamriel suddenly disappeared.

* * *

Despite her plans, Agda forgot the nasty comments she had prepared for Hadvar as soon as she reached Sigrid's house.

The soldier was pale and frightened and looked in need of a hug. He was standing by a bed on which a young woman was lying unconscious. When Agda approached her, she realized that her black hair were covered in blood.

Before she could ask anything, Hadvar muttered something about Helgen, a dragon and the end of the world.

Agda looked at Sigrid and Alvor, waiting for them to burst into laughter and tell her that they had organized a tasteless joke on her behalf. Much to her dismay, the two Nords remained perfectly serious.

"We didn't believe him either at first", Alvor admitted. "It was Hadvar's captain who persuaded us that our boy wasn't drunk. He mentioned a dragon as well, then he went back to Helgen to check if anyone else has survived the attack".

Although Agda firmly believed that Hadvar was high on skooma, she decided to postpone her questions - after all, the woman in front of her was in desperate need of help.

"This girl is a Redguard", Agda said as she carefully examined her exotic features. "Is she one of your colleagues?"

Hadvar unexpectedly blushed.

"Not really. When the dragon appeared, we were about to execute her".

To Agda's surprise, Hadvar told her about Ulfric Stormcloak's capture and the sudden arrival of the dragon. The girl pinched her cheeks, as if to check that she wasn't dreaming.

"You were about to end the war when a massive dragon arrived", she repeated. "How's that even possible?"

The soldier shook his head.

 _He had no idea_.

* * *

As Agda started to cure the unconscious woman, she asked Hadvar what had happened to her - judging from the nasty gash on her forehead, the unlucky Redguard had probably taken a hard blow to the head.

"When Adaeze was about to be executed, she started fighting and spitting and insulting everyone she saw", Hadvar grimaced. "Since she wouldn't calm down, a colleague of mine hit her with the hilt of his sword".

"I thought men from the Legion to be much better than that".

Embarrassed by the mortified look in Hadvar's eyes, Agda immediately regretted her comment.

"I know it wasn't your fault", she reassured him. "If it weren't for you, Adaeze would have been killed by that dragon. She owes you her life".

When Agda realized that Hadvar was on the verge of tears, she forgot her usual shyness and gave him a hug. As the soldier pulled her closer, she couldn't help but smile.

Adaeze had been lucky to meet such a wonderful man.

* * *

As Hadvar went on to tell her about Helgen, Agda quickly resumed her work. The young innkeeper wasn't as skilled as the famous priests of Kynareth, but she could hold her ground against light concussions, broken bones and common diseases. Therefore, the nasty-looking gash on Adaeze's forehead didn't worry her at all.

Half an hour later, when the Redguard's eyes finally shut open, Agda was quick to soothe her.

"Don't panic, Adaeze", she said after placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "My name is Agda and I'm here to help you. You've received a bad blow to your head, but a friend of mine has aided you. Soon you'll be back to your usual shape. How do you feel?"

As Adaeze listened to Agda, her hazel eyes were full of worry and confusion. With her black hair, her delicate features and her tanned complexion, the Redguard was one of the most beautiful women the innkeeper had ever seen.

"I feel like I've just wrestled with a troll", Adaeze admitted in a whisper.

"You'll get better in a few hours. You just need to rest".

Still worried despite the innkeeper's reassuring words, Adaeze looked around in order to take in her surroundings. When she noticed Hadvar, she unexpectedly lost her temper.

"You overgrown Skeever, you horrible Slaughterfish, you stinky barbarian! -, she screamed as she sat up on the bed. – It was you who hit me on the head, wasn't it? You Horker-brained soldiers, you can't even understand the difference between an innocent woman and a dangerous rebel! Do I look like a Nord to you? Do I look like one of those smelly Stormcloaks to you? Do I…"

Adaeze abruptly stopped screaming and brought a hand to her mouth. Sensing what was about to happen, Agda gave her a wooden bucket, so that the Redguard could throw up inside it.

"Hadvar saved your life, Adaeze", she explained before Alvor could take his nephew's defense. The blacksmith and his wife had been sitting by the fire ever since Agda had entered their house. "He could have abandoned you, but he risked his life to save yours. You should be thankful to him - and you should also try to remain as calm as possible. It will take a few days before you finally stop feeling dizzy".

Too giddy even to protest, Adaeze decided to lay down again. Sigrid, who had watched the scene with terrified eyes, immediately approached her.

"I could make you a makeshift bed in our cellar", she volunteered. "It is quieter there".

Adaeze nodded, causing Sigrid to smile.

Her daughter already knew a lot of bad words and certainly didn't need to add any creative Redguard insult to her already impressive list.

* * *

Agda spent the rest of the day at Sigrid's place. She helped the woman with Adaeze's makeshift bed, then she convinced the Redguard to gulp a few potions. Later, as the injured girl finally fell asleep and Alvor went back to his forge, Agda remained in the cellar and tried to comfort Hadvar. The soldier was extremely troubled: if General Tullius had been killed, the war would have undergone a drastic change.

When the door of the house suddenly burst open, Hadvar abruptly stood up and reached for the sword strapped at his waist. He had met his townsman Ralof in Helgen, so he was expecting him or his sister to make enquiries at his place.

Despite his fears, Hadvar let out a sigh of relief as soon as the newcomer reached the cellar. Agda, on the other hand, froze.

In front of her there was the mysterious S. C.


	6. People are Strange

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, I send a big _thank you_ to Guest and to reddevil 47 for taking some of their time to leave me a review :) As usual, I also thank all those who are following/have favorited (is this even a word?) this story.**

 **By the way, here's the second part of the second meeting between Agda and the mysterious S. C.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **17th of Last Seed, 4E 201**

Agda couldn't believe her eyes. The man in front of her was covered in blood and mud and ash, but his grey irises and his blonde hair left her no doubt - that battered warrior was the mysterious S. C.

"Do you already know each other?", Hadvar asked as his brown eyes darted back and forth between Agda and S. C.

The young innkeeper was too shocked to form a coherent answer, whereas the Imperial quickly overcame his surprise.

"I've already met Agda" , he carefully said. "But I'm afraid I haven't told her my name".

To the girl's surprise, Hadvar seemed to understand why S. C. had behaved in such a mysterious way.

"Captain, I can guarantee you that Agda would never betray us", he claimed with a smile. "Her parents are Nords, but she was born and raised in Anvil. Moreover, she holds no love for Ulfric and his people; a few months ago she even turned down a romantic offer from a Stormcloak soldier".

Agda was confused – confused and outraged.

Her confusion derived from the fact that Hadvar had just called S. C. _captain_ ; her rage derived from the fact that Hadvar had apparently spied on her.

After Ralof had been injured in a fight, his sister Gerdur had asked Agda to heal him. The Stormcloak soldier was very charming, but he was way too blunt - as Agda was attending his wounds, he had namely voiced his desire to make love to her in the vast pinewoods of Riverwood.

 _Can you imagine it, Agda? A tender summer night, you and me cuddled together, the moons shining on our naked bodies and the nightingales singing of our love. Sweet Talos, I would treasure that memory until I die!_

Agda had been touched by Ralof's romanticism, but she had also been embarrassed by his frank suggestion – so embarrassed that she had felt the need to talk to Sigrid about it. Apparently, the witch had immediately reported the information to Hadvar.

Before Agda could overcome her confusion and start yelling at the soldier, S. C. sighed.

"If she really isn't a Stormlockak, you can tell her who I am", he said as he took a few steps and wearily slumped down on a chair. He was slightly limping, whereas his armor was completely destroyed.

"Agda, this man is my Captain, Steinarius Crepusculus", Hadvar announced in reply to his invitation.

For the second time during the last few minutes, Agda's jaw almost dropped to the floor. The mysterious stranger she had met a few months earlier wasn't just a Captain of the Legion – he was also a member of the Crepusculus family, a very famous dynasty of Legionnaires.

"Dad was good old Cornelius", the Imperial said before Agda could ask him anything. "As you probably know, he fought in the Great War".

Agda confusingly nodded. She knew how famous Cornelius Crepusculus was - after all, her own father had served in his troops.

"Now you'll understand why I didn't tell you my name", Steinarius told her with a tired sigh. "I knew that some people here in Riverwood sympathize with Ulfric, therefore I didn't want them to know about my presence in the village. On that rainy night I would have liked to reach Whiterun, but my horse was too tired. I'm sorry if I acted suspiciously".

After many useless attempts, Agda eventually succeeded in closing her jaw. Despite her confusion, she somehow managed to thank Steinarius for the ingredients he had given her on his previous visit. The man chuckled, then asked how Adaeze was doing - despite the noise, the woman was still asleep.

As soon as he received a reassuring answer, Steinarius got up from his chair. To Agda's surprise, he staggered and almost fell to the floor.

"You hurt your leg while jumping inside that inn, remember?", Hadvar said as he helped the Imperial regain his balance. "I'm afraid you might have a broken ankle, Captain. You should rest a few hours".

"Broken ankle or not, I need to get to Whiterun as soon as possible", Steinarius muttered. "I must send a courier and find out where Tullius and Rikke are".

"Do you think the General is still alive?"

"I haven't found his corpse, so I guess that he has survived. Unfortunately, the same applies to Ulfric - _and to Elenwen_ , if I may add".

Steinarius tried to take a few steps, but the pain was too strong. With a hiss, he decided to move across the cellar by hopping on his left leg, the one that was unhurt. As he did so, he tripped on a bucket and almost fell to the floor.

Hadvar was quick to help him, whereas Agda had to do stifle a chuckle.

Steinarius Crepusculus wasn't just a Captain of the Legion and the son of a former Legate - he was also terrible at walking.

* * *

After a long discussion, Steinarius eventually agreed to have his ankle checked.

An hour earlier, when he had said that he was perfectly fine, Hadvar had pretended to believe him.

"We'll meet in Castle Dour, Captain", he had solemnly stated. "But as you already said, first you might need to send a letter to Solitude. If you're interested, Lucan Valerius can get you in touch with a courier".

Steinarius had welcomed the news with a satisfied smile. He was keen on reaching Whiterun as soon as possible, therefore he had hastily washed his face and replaced his Imperial cuirass with a plain steel armor. Then he had turned down Sigrid's offer of a warm dinner and bidden farewell to everyone.

As Agda, Hadvar and his family were having supper, however, someone had knocked on their door.

"There's a weird man in our shop", Camilla Valerius had snobbishly informed them. "It looks like he has a broken ankle".

Stifling a chuckle, Hadvar had immediately rescued his Captain, who seemed embarrassed by his misadventure. Steinarius had eaten his dinner in silence, then he had asked Agda for help - since he was a warrior, he had never bothered learning any magic.

* * *

As soon as she helped the soldier take off his boot, Agda frowned. Steinarius' ankle was swollen and had a nasty bluish colour.

"Your ankle is simply sprained, but the bone will break if you keep on walking", the girl warned him after a careful exam.

Steinarius shrugged his shoulders. He was sitting on Dorthe's bed, whereas Hadvar was downstairs with Sigrid and Adaeze, who had just regained consciousness. Alvor and his daughter, instead, had reached the inn in order to find out more about the attack on Helgen.

"I don't need to go far", the Imperial said. "In Whiterun I'll ask Danica Pure Spring to heal me, then I'll rent a horse and ride to Solitude. Unfortunately for me, my steed was killed by that stupid dragon".

"You've said that Helgen has been completely destroyed".

"The dragon has burnt everything to the ground. Nonetheless, you don't need to worry: as soon as I reach Whiterun, I'll ask Balgruuf to send a few warriors here in Riverwood, to protect the population if the beast comes back".

"I didn't think you knew the Jarl", Agda said as she cast a strong healing spell on Steinarius' ankle.

The Imperial stifled a pleased growl, causing the girl to blush.

"I lived in Whiterun, once", he explained as the magic ceased its benefic effects. "I was a member of the Companions".

Agda was very impressed by the news - impressed and surprised.

"I thought that, as an Imperial, you would have rather joined the Fighter's Guild than the Companions".

Amused by that comment, Steinarius smiled.

"As you might have noticed, I'm not the usual man from the Imperial Province", he said as Agda started to wrap his ankle in a soft linen bandage. He was sure that the girl would have made a perfect healer. "I was born in Kvatch, sure, but I've been living in Skyrim for more than twenty winters. I've always been surrounded by Nords, therefore my parents weren't surprised when I joined the Companions. When I was with them, I even chose a Nordic war name, _Steinar Blackdusk"_.

"It looks like you loved living with the Companions. May I ask you why you left?"

As soon as the question left Agda's mouth, the golden circles around Steinarius' eyes got bigger and brighter than usual.

"I'm afraid this is none of your business", he harshly replied.

Before Agda could understand what was happening, Steinarius stood up and grabbed the knapsack Alvor had lent him.

"Thank you for curing my ankle, Agda", he said with a cold tone. "And please thank the others for their help".

"You can thank them yourselves", the girl frowned. "They're downstairs".

"I've already lost enough time", Steinarius replied. "Be a nice girl and tell them that they were very kind to me", he added as he gave Agda a satchel full of alchemy ingredients. "You're very sweet too, so I'm looking forward to our next meeting".

Before Agda could scream for Hadvar to come upstairs and bid his Captain goodbye, Steinarius opened the house door and disappeared into the night, leaving the girl alone with her questions.

She couldn't understand what she had done wrong.


	7. Too much mead will kill you

**Author's note:**

 **Before we start, I want to send a big _thank you_ to Alastair279, reddevil47, msyendor and all the others who have left a review/are reading or following the story! I'm happy to know that some of you consider Steinarius an interesting character, just like I'm happy to know that Agda comes across as the funny one. And yes, Steinarius definitely is a goofy golden retriever ;) ****As for his family and the reason why he stormed out of Alvor's house, I'm afraid that I'll leave it hanging for some more chapters.**

 **On a side note, I want to thank _msyendor_ for the punctuation remark. After reading your review, I actually asked myself why I use dashes rather than quotations marks - and surprise surprise, I couldn't find an aswer. I'm slowly changing that and from now on I'll do my best to stick to traditional punctuation :) **

**Anyway, back to the story.**

 **Today we have a bit of a shorty. It's a build-up chapter, so it will probably make sense only after I post the next chapter. There is a tiny little warning for alcohol abuse - nothing too serious, just a booze between two friends.**

 **As usual, thank you for reading!  
**

* * *

 **25th of Hearhfire, 4E 201**

After they learned of the dragon, some of the bravest – or _stupidest_ , Agda didn't know what to think – men of Riverwood reached Helgen to check whether the rumors regarding its destruction were true. Led by Sven and Faendal, who were desperately trying to gain Camilla's attention, those unexperienced warriors left their homes with cocky smiles on their faces and arrogant thoughts in their minds. Nevertheless, they came back to Riverwood with tears in their eyes and an ancestral fear in their bones.

They had no doubts left – after several centuries of peace, the dragons had eventually returned to Skyrim.

The simple idea was enough to fill Agda with dread. She didn't feel safe in Riverwood: the village was in the middle of a very flammable pinewood, had very flammable wooden buildings and a very flammable lumber mill. The place had very flammable wood even in its name – and with a dragon flying around, that looked like a very meaningful coincidence.

 _If the dragon attacks us, our merry village will be burnt to the ground_ , Agda thought the night after her unexpected meeting with Hadvar, Adaeze and Steinarius. A week later, however, she had already changed her mind. She no longer believed that Riverwood could be burnt to the ground by the dragon that had attacked Helgen – by now, she was sure that any other dragon could do just fine.

For a few wonderful days, the people of Skyrim had nourished the illusion of a single black dragon flying over their country. It was a nasty matter, sure, but everyone believed that the Companions would kill that overgrown bat as soon as they got the chance. Unfortunately, the news coming from Whiterun soon spread fear and anxiety throughout the whole country.

The rumors regarding the dragon attack on the Western Watchtower were very confused – some spoke of a snake-like beast that had killed hundreds of men, others talked of an old greyish animal that had been dispatched quickly. Nevertheless, all those tales had three points in common.

 _First_ : the dragon seen in Whiterun wasn't black - which meant that there were at least two of the foul beasts flying around; which in turn meant that the Companions were probably going to need some help with the whole dragonslaying thing.

 _Second_ : the animal that had attacked Whiterun had been killed - which meant that dragons could die.

 _Third_ : some claimed that the mysterious dragonslayer was a girl, others said it was a man; some toasted to an Orcish mage, others drank to a Breton warrior; some thanked an acolyte of Akatosh, others mentioned a Dibella priestess. Nevertheless, they all agreed on one point.

The mysterious dragonslayer was _Dovahkiin_ , a mortal with the soul of a dragon.

"And I am a Nord with the soul of a butterfly", that's how the local drunkard had commented the news.

Agda didn't feel as graceful as a butterfly, but she knew one thing: the Dragonborn was the very stuff legends were made of – and legends were nothing but fairy tales. She firmly believed that, if a dragon attacked Riverwood, her only chance of surviving laid in the calm waters of the White River.

* * *

After the attack on Helgen, the Jarl of Whiterun sent a few guards to protect Riverwood. Those brave fellows would do nothing but stroll across the village and drink mead at the _Sleeping Giant_ , but their presence made everyone feel safer.

Even Agda was reassured by the soldiers who had taken up residence in Riverwood. Moreover, in the long days following the attack on Whiterun, she often forgot her fears thanks to Adaeze.

The Redguard was very different from Agda - she was beautiful and chatty and unbelievably strong, whereas the innkeeper was shy and boring and couldn't even swing a sword. Nevertheless, when they were together, the two girls felt perfectly at ease.

"I think you have a thing for Hadvar", Adaeze once said.

Agda welcomed the news with a laugh. She and Adaeze were enjoying a quite evening at the _Sleeping Giant_ , just like they did whenever Agda had a day off. The weird Nord hated mead, but loved Colovian Brandy – and Adaeze was more than happy to share that passion with her friend.

"I think Hadvar has a thing for _you_ , Adaeze", Agda replied with a laugh. "He couldn't take his eyes off of you while he was here in Riverwood. It's a pity that he had to leave for Solitude the morning after Helgen".

Adaeze pulled a grimace.

"He couldn't take his eyes off of me, sure, but he couldn't _speak_ to me either. He seemed terribly afraid of me".

"He's simply shy. By the way, you have to believe me: if Hadvar and I got married, we would die of boredom a week into our marriage".

"What about his Imperial friend? He's quite goofy, but he has nice eyes".

Agda chuckled.

"Steinarius? I asked him a simple question and he left Alvor's house as though it were on fire. Nah, he is definitely too weird for me. I need a simple-minded husband – or, better, a simple-minded _cat_. Humans are way too complicated for me".

Somehow, over the course of that conversation Agda and Adaeze got really, really drunk.

After the innkeeper had collapsed on her chair, the Redguard had a terrible idea – she took some paper, then she sent two letters to Castle Dour.

One, on her behalf:

 _Dear Hadvar, I'd like to drown in your deep brown eyes as if they were a sea of chocolate_.

The other, for Agda:

 _Dear Steinarius, thinking of your taut chest makes me stagger as if I had a sprained ankle. Please visit me soon. I can't wait to lay my hands over that wonderful body of yours_.

When Agda regained her composure, it was already too late – a courier had taken the letters and was already carrying them to Solitude.

Surprisingly enough, nor Agda, nor Adaeze did receive any reply.


	8. Can't Breathe Easy

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, I send a big _thank you_ to reddevil47 for their review - it is nice to know that you enjoy what I write! Of course, I also thank all those who are reading/following this story. Your support is a great morale boost to me!**

 **I was planning to post this chapter immediately after the previous one, but my Internet connection hasn't been working well over the past few days, hence the delay with the updates.**

 **Chapter 7 was a fun story about Agda's friendship with Adaeze and their drunken letters to Hadvar and Steinarius. Unfortunately, our poor innkeeper** **is now in for a troubled day.**

 **Warning : violence, language, depressive thoughts and a very humorless title.**

* * *

 **19th of Sun's Dusk, 4E 201**

A few days after Agda's hangover, Adaeze got into troubles. Sigrid claimed she had seen the Redguard drinking mead with her husband, therefore she angrily threw her out of her house. After that accident, Adaeze lived at the Sleeping Giant for two weeks, then bid Agda goodbye – she had had enough of Riverwood and wanted to try her luck in a bigger city. As she watched her leave, Agda couldn't help but feel like she had lost the only true friend she had ever had.

The two following months went by in a haze of boredom, dullness and snow. Agda hated the crispy autumns of Skyrim – she was always cold and had to chop wood whenever Orgnar was in Whiterun to buy mead and food for the winter. Moreover, during that endless season nothing interesting ever happened.

Even the news coming from the rest of the country were quite lame. The mysterious Dragonborn was said to have slain another beast shortly after the attack on Whiterun, but no one knew what happened since then. Some claimed that the mighty warrior had been killed by a bear, others said he had slipped off a cliff; some thought he had joined the Forsworn, others firmly believed that he was living with the Greybeards, thus learning the art of the Thu'um. Judging from the ungodly shouts coming from the Throat of the World, Agda believed the latter theory to be the most accurate one.

The girl didn't feel safe knowing that her life depended on a legend made up by her ancestors - after all, Nords were extremely famous because of their chronical abuse of mead.

* * *

As she looked at the pale sky above her head, Agda yawned. Dawn had just broken in and another cold, boring day was about to start.

The girl sighed, then returned to the warmth of _the_ _Sleeping Giant_. On the previous evening she had received some rare alchemy ingredients from Adaeze, who had surprisingly managed to find an unspecified, well-paid job in Riften. As a consequence, Agda was looking forward to spending a few hours at her alchemy lab.

That morning she was completely alone: Orgnar had gone to visit the Honningbrew Meadery, whereas Delphine had left the inn about a week before. Agda had no idea what her employer was up to.

The girl had just started brewing a sleeping draught for Hilde when the door of the _Sleeping Giant_ suddenly burst open. When Agda looked over her shoulder, she couldn't stifle a smile.

Two days after the attack on Helgen, Steinarius Crepusculus had returned to Riverwood and talked to Lucan Valerius about a stolen golden claw. According to that snobbish Camilla girl, the clumsy warrior had taken it upon himself to retrieve the precious item and had luckily succeeded in his task. Since that moment he had become the woman's personal hero, a fact that had deeply offended both Sven and Faendal.

During Steinarius' short visit in Riverwood, Agda had been lucky enough to meet him. The man had greeted her with a cautious smile, then had taken the road across the bridge and disappeared from her sight. On the following morning, when he had brought the stolen claw back where it belonged, he had been so stealthy that no one had seen him.

Agda didn't know whether Steinarius was still angry at her – after all, she didn't even know what had upsetted him in the first place. Despite her worries, as soon as she saw him enter the inn, the girl greeted him with an open, warm and endearing smile.

"Good to see you, Steinarius!", Agda smiled as she took a step in his direction. "It's always wonderful to have you here! How are you? How's the Legion…"

Before Agda could end the sentence, she was violently shoved against her alchemy lab. Next thing she knew, Steinarius had pinned her to the wall and had gripped her throat with his strong hands. His face was just a mere inch from Agda's, so that the girl had a very clear view of his eyes. She had never seen anything like that: the Imperial's grey irises had got completely golden, whereas his whole body was shivering violently.

"You thought that your little note was very funny, didn't you?", the man hissed before Agda could overcome her surprise. The grip on her throat was so tight that she could barely breathe. "You thought that a conventional message was too boring, didn't you? Damn you, woman, do you have any idea what I've been through just because you wanted to _speak to me_?"

As she desperately gasped for air, Agda tried to understand what Steinarius was talking about. After a long moment of shock and fear and confusion, it dawned on her: apparently, the Imperial had received the letter Adaeze had sent him while she was drunk. Had she been in a more comfortable situation, Agda would have rolled her eyes - although she had hoped for the courier carrying the letter to come across a very angry group of trolls, her prayers had been in vain.

"Steinarius, I was drunk when I wrote you that letter!", she squeaked as soon as the man loosened the grip on her throat, thus allowing her to talk. "I didn't think you would overreact like this!"

 _"Overreact_?", Steinarius spitted the word as if it was poisonous. "You lured me into an abandoned ruin, stole the item I was looking for and replaced it with a fucking note that asked me to come here! _And you dare say that I'm overreacting_!"

In that moment, the grip on Agda's throat became tighter than before, preventing the girl from telling Steinarius that she had no idea what he was talking about. The innkeeper tried to scratch the Captain's hands with her nails, but the man didn't even flinch.

As Agda realized that the Imperial was about to strangle her, she started to panic.

"I had to get past draugrs and spiders and bandits to get to that damned place!", Steinarius kept on screaming while the girl was desperately trying to break free from his grip. "I'm a busy man, Agda, so I don't have time to deal with stupid girls like you! _I have a life_ , for Stendarr' sake! Skyrim is in turmoil, a dragon has destroyed Helgen, the civil war is getting tougher than ever and you left a note inside a Nordic ruin just to ask me to come here! If you think that was funny..."

Agda never heard the following words – as her body painfully spasmed at the lack of oxygen, she closed her eyes and slipped into darkness.

* * *

When Agda finally came to, she realized that she was still sprawled on the cold floor of the _Sleeping Giant_. She was shivering violently and her throat hurt so much that she feared it would never be the same again. At that moment even the simple act of breathing was much more complicated than she remembered it.

After she took in her surroundings, Agda realized that her alchemy lab had fallen to the ground together with the many potions she had brewed over the previous weeks. As she looked at the shattered phials, tears welled up in her eyes. The young Nord couldn't understand why Steinarius had hurt her and, although he was nowhere to be seen, she could still feel his vicious grip on her throat and hear his angry voice in her mind.

 _I don't have time to deal with stupid girls like you_ , the Imperial had said. And, at that moment, Agda believed him to be perfectly right.

She was just a stupid, weak girl who couldn't even defend herself. She wasn't a Nord – she was just a pathetic waste of space.

That thought caused Agda to start sobbing like a baby. Right then she regretted her choice to come to Skyrim, her love for alchemy, even her friendship with Adaeze. She should have listened to her parents, forgotten her potions and become a warrior. In that way, her life would have surely been much easier.

All of a sudden, Agda started hearing some distant voices. Although that didn't make any sense, it seemed as if Delphine and Steinarius were arguing not far from where she was laying.

"Because of your secrecy, I almost killed an innocent girl!". It sounded as if Steinarius was screaming from the top of his lungs. "I thought _she_ had left me that message in Ustengrav, not you!"

Although Delphine's voice was much lower, Agda could easily make out her reply.

" _Your innocent girl_ is still alive just because I reached the inn at the right moment!", she hissed. "Hadn't I prevented you from strangling her, she would have died for good! By the way, how could you be stupid to think that someone like Agda could sneak past draugrs and spiders and bandits just to leave you a _note_?"

There was a short silence, as Steinarius apparently didn't know how to answer.

"You said your friend Orgnar would take care of her, but he is nowhere to be seen", the Captain said as soon as he realized that Delphine was right. From his tone, Agda could understand that he was still very angry. "When the hell will he come here and start healing her?"

"I don't know – and, honestly, I don't even care. Your destiny is much more important than a simple innkeeper from Anvil. We have to reach Kynesgrove as soon as possible".

"I'm not going anywhere, Breton - not until you tell me who you are and what you want".

As Delphine's whispers became too blurred to be understood, Agda shook her head. The voices she was hearing came from the floor of the inn – and under the floor of the inn there was nothing but the musky soil of Riverwood.

She was definitely losing her mind.

Worried by that thought, the girl closed her eyes again and sobbed. She had never felt so helpless in her whole life.

* * *

Agda kept on crying until the door to Delphine's room suddenly burst open. A moment later, the girl felt a warm hand on her shoulder and gentle fingers flowing through her hair. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Steinarius was beside her. His eyes still had some golden specks, but their rage had been replaced by a great sadness.

"Agda, I'm sorry", the Imperial whispered as he goofily kept on stroking her hair. "I'm really, really sorry".

Agda knew that those words were true – she could tell from Steinarius' voice, from the pain she saw in his eyes, from the way he was gently caressing her. Nevertheless, when the man tried to touch her cheek, she made an effort and managed to pull away.

She had often thought about Steinarius' hands touching her body, but none of her fantasies had involved sour tears or broken potions or shattered pride.

The captain seemed mortified by the disgusted look in Agda's eyes. He tried to touch her again, but was stopped by Delphine.

The Breton was wearing her leather armor and had been so stealthy that nor Agda, nor Steinarius had heard her approaching them.

"She's scared by you, can't you see?", she harshly told the Imperial. "If you remain here, you'll only waste your time - and you don't have time to lose".

"Stop telling me what I have and what I don't", Steinarius hissed. "I'm not leaving her like this".

Angered by the man' stubbornness, Delphine rolled her eyes.

"In case you haven't noticed, the girl's mad at you and won't forgive you no matter what you do. It's too late to win back her trust, but it's not too late to reach Kynesgrove. We need to go, otherwise all our efforts will be useless and your friend will have suffered in vain".

Agda didn't understand the meaning of those words, but Steinarius apparently did. He looked torn for a few seconds, then eventually took his decision.

"Wait for me", he coldly told Delphine.

A second later, he scooped Agda up in his arms and headed for the Breton's room. The girl didn't want to have anything to do with the man who had almost strangled her for unknown reasons, therefore she tried to free herself from his embrace. Nevertheless, her weak efforts could do nothing against Steinarius' strength.

"Delphine says that Orgnar will be here soon", the Imperial whispered as he laid Agda on Delphine's huge bed. "Meanwhile I'll ask Sigrid to come here and take care of you".

As Steinarius spoke, Agda looked at his figure for the first time since he had entered the inn. She saw that he was covered in mud and sweat and dried blood, then she realized that his cuirass had been torn to pieces, thus revealing an awful gash on his chest.

Although the injury looked very painful, Agda didn't feel any hint of compassion. _This man has just tried to kill you_ , a voice in the back of her mind reminded her for the thousandth time.

"Agda, you do deserve some explanations for what has happened", Steinarius muttered after lowering his gaze. At that moment, he couldn't stand to look the young Nord in the eyes. "Unfortunately, I don't have much time. I just want you to know that there's been a terrible misunderstanding and that I got mad at the wrong person. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I know that you probably hate me by now, but I also want you to know that I'm very sorry for what I did. If you granted me your forgiveness, I'd be the happiest man in Nirn".

Steinarius waited for Agda to reply, but his words fell on deaf ears - at that moment, the young innkeeper was only capable of hating him.

When the Imperial realized it, he sighed and left the only healing potion he had near Agda's pillow.

As he looked at her for the last time, his eyes were full of shame and sadness and regret.


	9. Sick and Tired

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, a big _thank you_ to _reddevil47_ , _Zero121_ , _msyendor_ and _beccalli96_ for their reviews! I'm very happy to know that you're enjoying my fanfic. Also, your reviews reminded me to put a warning at the beginning of the previous chapter. ****Of course, a big _thank you_ also goes to all those who are reading / following / favouriting this story. **

**Now, after the heaviness of the previous chapter, I think it's time for a (slightly) funnier shorty. It's not the longest chapter I've written so far, but I'll make up for it over the next few days.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **10th of Evening Star, 4E 201**

It took a few days before Agda's throat eventually recovered from the traumas it had endured. Nevertheless, the girl's nightmares didn't stop for much longer. No matter what she did or what potions she drank - every night Agda would dream of Steinarius' grip on her throat, of the hatred in his eyes and of the spasms that had wracked her body as she had desperately gasped for air. Therefore, the girl often woke up with tears running down her face and a layer of sweat all over her body.

A week after the assault, Agda decided to lock herself in her room and leave that comfortable shelter only once a day. She was tired of Sigrid's curious questions, of Sven's bad jokes, of Delphine's indifference - but most of all, she was upset by Steinarius' constant presence at the inn.

After his outburst of rage, the man had left Riverwood together with Delphine, then had returned to the _Sleeping Giant_ about a week later. Ever since then, the Imperial had developed a deep love for the little tavern and, although Camilla Valerius claimed she had something to do with it, Agda could tell that it wasn't true.

Steinarius usually reached the inn shortly past dawn and always spent the first minutes of his visit knocking on Agda's door. Although the girl never answered him, the Imperial didn't give up - he wanted to explain her the reasons for his rudeness and was determined to obtain her forgiveness. Unfortunately for him, Agda was equally determined to ignore him.

Every day Steinarius admitted his defeat with a sigh, hid in one of the rooms together with Delphine and left the tavern shortly afterwards. Agda always welcomed his departure with a relieved sigh and took advantage of that moment to sneak out of her shelter and bring some food inside her room.

The whole village had noticed how deeply the girl had changed: she had become detached and untrusty, had stopped visiting Sigrid for her daily dose of gossiping, had even stopped brewing her beloved potions. Everyone in Riverwood was wondering what happened to the once merry innkeeper, but the only ones who could provide an answer were Agda, Steinarius and Delphine; and whereas the latter didn't care at all about the matter, the others were still too shocked (and, in the Imperials's case, ashamed) to talk about it.

* * *

Agda let out a very loud sigh. It was well past midnight, but she was still reading in the main hall of the inn. The place was completely empty, therefore the girl had abandoned her room and stretched her legs over the border of the fireplace. When the first waves of tiredness washed over her, however, the young Nord stood up and took a walk around the tavern. She was determined not to fall asleep, so that she could have some peace from her usual nightmares.

All of a sudden, the door to the tavern burst open and Steinarius Crepusculus stepped in. As she saw him, Agda couldn't help but let out a surprised yell.

Over the previous two weeks, the Imperial had behaved very strangely – his visits in Riverwood had lasted longer than usual and on one terrible occasion he had even slept at the inn. Then, a few days earlier, he had suddenly disappeared. Agda had overheard him talking to Delphine about an embassy, an invitation and fine woolen clothes, but hadn't felt the slightest interest for the matter. The moment Steinarius walked in, however, things immediately changed.

The Imperial was wearing expensive clothes that made him look even more handsome than usual. There was a wonderful sword strapped to his waist together with an impressive set of ebony daggers. Steinarius also had an expensive golden amulet around his neck and many shiny rings on his long fingers. Unfortunately, the whole outfit was ruined by the blood that marred his shirt and his weapons and his face.

By the time Agda overcame her surprise, it was already too late: the captain had casted her an agonizing glance, then had collapsed on the floor of the inn.

* * *

Disturbed by the terrified screams coming from the hall, Orgnar and Delphine immediately woke up. The man grabbed Steinarius by the shoulders and unceremoniously dragged him towards one of the bedrooms, whereas Delphine put a pillow under his head and forced a weird potion down his throat. The effects were immediate.

Steinarius came to with a terrified intake of air. His grey eyes stopped on Agda, but Delphine grabbed him by the collar before he could talk to the girl.

"Tell me what you've found".

As the man muttered something, Delphine shook him with violence.

"You've passed out because you were tired, not because you were injured", she said in what she probably considered a very reassuring hiss. "Tell me. What. You've. Found".

Steinarius seemed to gasp for air for a few seconds. His face was a mask of white pallor and crimson blood, whereas his chest was heaving painfully fast. Agda recognized the typical effects that potions of enhanced stamina had on people who were too exhausted even to keep their eyes open.

"The Thalmor don't know anything about the dragons", Steinarius grimaced as soon as he found the strength to speak.

As Agda heard those words, she frowned.

 _Why should the Thalmor know anything about the dragons_?

Orgnar seemed as clueless as her, whereas Delphine let out an angry snort.

"Did you carry out a thorough research or…"

Before the woman's hands could start shaking him again, Steinarius spoke.

"I only found a few books", he uttered between his ragged breaths. "I forgot to give Malborn a knapsack, therefore I hid them under my shirt".

To Agda's shock, Delphine tore Steinarius's attire apart with her bare hands, thus revealing three red books and the scarred chest of the man. Agda wondered where her employer had learned that move, but soon realized that she didn't actually want to know.

"They're the Thalmor dossiers about you, Ulfric and someone named Esbern", Steinarius explained as Delphine started flipping the pages.

He was still breathing heavily, as after a long run.

Shocked by the last name pronounced by the captain, the Breton immediately grabbed him by the neck. At that moment, something inside Agda's mind clapped its hands in enthusiasm.

 _Sweet, sweet revenge_.

"What do you know about Esbern?", Delphine asked as she laid her hands on Steinarius' throat.

The man was both shocked and confused, but seemed unable to protest against that rough treatment.

"Not much", he gasped before Delphine could start shaking him again. "A prisoner said something about the Ratway in Riften, but that's all I know".

Agda listened to the dialogue with a lot of attention, but found herself in a very weird situation – although she perfectly understood the words, she couldn't make out their meaning in that context.

Unlike her, Delphine immediately realized the importance of Steinarius' discoveries.

"You need to get to Riften as soon as possible. Stand up and leave, fast!".

Steinarius' eyes widened in protest. He tried to remind Delphine that he had just passed out because of the exhaustion, but the Breton didn't seem to care.

Moved by the dark circles under the captain's eyes and by the ragged breaths that were leaving his lungs, Agda did something completely irrational – she took his defense.

"He needs to sleep, Delphine. He's awake just because of the potion you gave him. The way he's breathing is a clear sign of…"

"He can sleep while he rides", Delphine interrupted her. "I'm sure that the Thalmors are already in Riften, therefore we cannot afford to waste our time for useless activities such as _sleeping"_.

Agda snorted. Delphine had just used the pronoun _we_ , but didn't seem keen on joinining Steinarius in his adventure. Yet, when even Orgnar took the man's defense, the Breton eventually gave up.

She rolled her eyes in defeat, then made for the door.

"I'll give you one hour", she threatened Steinarius. "If you're not ready to leave by then… "

Delphine didn't need to end the sentence: as the effect of the stamina potion wore out, Steinarius' head fell on the pillow with a soft _thump_. Worried by the way his body went limp, Agda immediately crouched beside him and readied the strongest healing spell she knew. Nonetheless, she never got to cast it.

Delphine was right: Steinarius wasn't hurt - as his loud snores suggested, he had simply fallen asleep.


	10. No rest for the wicked

**Author's note:**

 **Surprise surprise, here's another chapter.** **But first of all, let me send** **a huge _thank you_ to reddevil 47 and all my readers for their support! :)**

 **Unfortunately, Agda is in for _another_ troubled day. **

**Warning : violence, torture, language.**

* * *

 **15th of Evening Star, 4E 201**

"You have to tell me what's going on".

Delphine raised an eyebrow. She hadn't expected such a blunt request from a shy girl like Agda.

"I have nothing to tell you, Agda. Now you'd better go back to the hall and wait for Embry to get drunk. He'll be happy to know that your isolation is finally over".

"It isn't over", the girl blushed.

"Really? The way you hurried over Steinarius was quite moving. I thought you two had made peace".

"He had just passed out in front of me, Delphine. Nevertheless, you sent him to Riften on some mysterious task involving the Thalmor, the Ratway and those stupid dragons. Apropos, who is Esbern?".

Delphine sighed. She was preparing a knapsack full of potions, weapons and books and clearly didn't feel like talking.

"Agda, you can torment me with your endless questions, but I won't tell you anything. And by the way, it took you long enough to find the guts to ask me for an explanation".

Agda blushed.

It had been five days since Steinarius left for Riften. The young innkeeper hadn't forgotten that the Imperial had tried to strangle her, but during their last meeting she had been moved by his puppy eyes and his loud yawns. Given that he had been missing for almost a week, she was afraid something bad had happened. Delphine, on the other hand, looked perfectly calm.

Agda couldn't understand the power her employer held over Steinarius. The man was a Captain of the Legion, yet he seemed to enjoy being ordered around like a puppet. When Delphine had woken him during his last visit at the inn, he hadn't even flinched: to everyone's surprise, he had immediately slipped into his armor and left for Riften.

Agda had no idea what was going on, but one thing she knew – to Delphine there was much more than met the eye.

* * *

Since New Life Festival was approaching, that morning Orgnar and Delphine decided to head for Whiterun, thus leaving Agda completely alone. The girl wasn't happy to be the only person at the inn: ever since Steinarius had tried to kill her, she trembled with fear every time a patron entered the tavern. Moreover, she didn't believe what Delphine had told her about visiting the biggest market of the Hold to buy food for the upcoming celebrations.

When the door to the the _Sleeping Giant_ creaked opened, Agda let out a loud snort and hastily abandoned her room. It was shortly past dawn, she was alone, it was snowing, someone was already bothering her and she was going to work on New Life Festival.

Being an innkeeper _sucked_.

As soon as she saw three tall Thalmor in front of her, Agda realized that her day had got even worse than she thought possible. Luckily enough, at that moment her Amulet of Talos was safely hidden under the mattress of her bed.

Despite her nervousness, Agda managed to keep her cool. _Perhaps not all Thalmor are snobbish elves who hate Nords and unicorns and rainbows and all the other good things in life_ , she thought to herself.

Reassured by the image of a Thalmor riding a unicorn somewhere over the rainbow, the girl managed to produce a tiny smile.

"Welcome to the _Sleeping Giant_!", she said with what she believed to be a joyful and relaxed tone. She knew that line by heart, therefore she didn't stumble upon the words. "Please do come in, it is quite cold outside. Can I cook you something or…"

One of the High Elves stopped her with a gesture.

"We were simply wondering whether you could help us with a problem, dear girl", he said with a mellifluous smile.

"Of course I can", Agda lied. "You just need to ask".

The tallest of the three Altmers smiled. He was wearing thick black robes, whereas his comrades were dressed in anonymous elven armors. All of them were very handsome and had lethal-looking daggers strapped to their waists.

"Last week the First Emissary of the Thalmor here in Skyrim, the beautiful Elenwen, threw a New Life Party", the black-robed Altmer started to explain. "Unfortunately, something went terribly wrong".

"She didn't receive the present she wanted?"

The Thalmor wasn't amused by Agda's comment.

"No, human, the presents had nothing to do with it. Regrettably, one of herguests decided to take a stroll across our embassy. Unfortunately for us, that criminal stole a few important documents and freed one of our prisoners".

Upon hearing those words, Agda suddenly remembered the way Steinarius had collapsed on the floor of the inn. On that occasion the Imperial had been dressed as if he had just attended an important party; moreover, he had mentioned the Thalmor, a prisoner and a few dossiers.

As she understood that the elves' visit was connected to that fact, Agda felt a shiver run down her spine. She hadn't forgotten the way those arrogant elves had destroyed her parents' shop in Anvil, therefore she never felt at ease when she was around them.

"I'm very sorry for your friend Elenwen", she said with what she believed to be a noncurant tone. "Unfortunately, I'm quite sure that there are no Thalmor prisoners here in Riverwood. You may want to check in Whiterun".

"We actually managed to trace the man who had taken that noisy guest to our party", the Thalmor revealed with an unnerving grin. "After some persuasion on our part, he suggested we visited Riverwood. Not Whiterun, not Solitude, not Riften. _Riverwood._ By the way, girl, there's no need to worry - we're here for Delphine, Esbern and Steinar Blackdusk, not for you".

As Agda registered those words, she couldn't help but widen her eyes. _Steinar Blackdusk_ was the nickname Steinarius had chosen during his time with the Companions, whereas Esbern was the mysterious man Delphine was desperately looking for.

If the Thalmor wanted information about them, they were probably in danger.

"Your spy pointed you in the wrong direction", the girl said in a weak attempt to sway the Thalmor's investigations. "There are no people with such names here in Riverwood".

"The guards at the entrance told us otherwise. They said that the owner of this place is called Delphine and that she has a blond friend who resembles the man we're looking for".

Agda stifled a curse. _Damned guards who can't do anything but eat and drink and give precious information away_ , she thought.

"The soldiers were probably drunk", the girl insisted while pulling her _I'm a dumb, sweet and innocent innkeeper_ face. "As far as I'm concerned, I have no idea what you're talking about".

The black-robed Thalmor didn't betray any emotion – he simply snapped his fingers, causing magic vines to tie that uncooperative girl to the wall behind her.

 _Here we go again_ , Agda thought as she found herself pinned to the wall for the second time in the last few weeks.

* * *

The black-robed Thalmor immediately approached the girl, just like one of the other elves. The last of them, probably the sentinel, remained by the door.

"This doesn't have to be painful, Nord", the tallest of the three Altmers slowly said. "If you tell us what we need to know, we'll let you go. Where are your friends?"

"How can I tell you something I don't know myself?", Agda asked while raising one of her eyebrows.

Unfortunately, the Thalmor didn't believe her. He grinned, then a jolt of electricity hit the girl at full force.

Agda screamed both for the pain and the surprise. She tried to fight her restraints, but the magic vines didn't give in. When the black-robed Thalmor stopped electrocuting her, she found herself panting in the aftershocks of his spell.

"That was only the beginning, Nord. Tell us what we need to know and we'll let you go. Where are Delphine, Esbern and Steinar? Where have they hidden the dossiers they stole us? And where is Malborn?"

Agda shook her head. She knew that Delphine was in Whiterun and was sure that the books Steinarius had retrieved were hidden somewhere in the inn. Yet, she wasn't going to share the news with anyone, let alone with those damned Altmers.

"I have no idea what you're talking about", she growled as soon as she overcame the pain. "Now you'd better free me, otherwise I'll inform Jarl Balgruuf of your…"

Another jolt of lightning wracked Agda's body. The girl felt her teeth clatter against each other, then she felt her muscles scream in agony. It was the worst feeling she had ever experienced – in her opinion, it was even worse than being almost strangled by Steinarius.

"Silly girl", one of the armored elves laughed as his fellow finally broke the spell. "Balgruuf can't do anything about us. You think that he'll start a war just because we've tortured an innkeeper?"

Agda ignored the man's laughters.

"If you kill me, the people of Riverwood will wonder what has happened and they'll remember seeing you in the village".

The black-robed Thalmor chuckled.

"It is six o'clock in the morning, it is snowing and the sky is still dark; aka, the people of Riverwood are still in their beds. Moreover, we used an invisibility spell to enter the village. We certainly didn't want Delphine and her friends to see us and run away, did we? Apropos, where are they now?"

When she refused to answer, Agda was hit by another jolt of lightning, the strongest one that her torturer had used until that moment. A moment before she passed out, she finally understood why Ulfric Stormcloak hated the Thalmor so fiercely.

* * *

Agda came to when one of the elves forced a potion down her throat. Before she could put up a fight, the magic vibes were back in place and the girl found herself pinned to the wall once again.

"Where. Are. Your. Friends", the black-robed Thalmor asked her for what felt like the hundredth time.

He was so close that Agda could see her reflection in his almond-shaped eyes. She felt awfully bad – her body was spasming because of the spells, her mind was floating in a sea of pain, her eyes saw no way out of that situation. Yet, if she was going to be killed, Agda wanted to go out with a bang – _and making fun of the Thalmor would definitely grant me a first-class ticket to Sovngarde_ , she suddenly thought.

Spurred by that idea, the young Nord sighed dramatically.

"Adaeze is in Riften. Hadvar, instead, is probably…"

Before Agda could end the sentence, the armored elf who was standing beside her freed her right hand from the vibes. As he maneuvered her thumb backwards, the black-robed Thalmor hissed.

"You'd rather be serious about this, otherwise…"

As that pompous Altmer got nearer, Agda couldn't help it: she spit in his face, then burst in a crazy, hysterical laughter.

The elves were quick to react – as his leader started insulting the girl, the armored mer pulled her thumb backwards, breaking it with a loud _snap_. Agda screamed at the sudden pain that shot up her arm, and she screamed even louder when the cruel Altmer grabbed her broken finger and started moving it backwards, forwards, to the left, to the right.

As the first tears stained her cheeks, Agda couldn't help but curse her own stupidity. Seeing the outraged look on the Thalmors' face had been fun, but she wasn't sure she had made a wise move.

"Wouldn't it be easier to tell me what you know rather than being tortured by my men?", the black-robed Thalmor hissed as if he had read her mind.

When Agda didn't reply, her armored captor proceeded to break her pointing finger. As he roughly moved it, the girl let out the loudest scream she had ever produced. Yet, despite the pain and the tears and the humiliation, the little innkeeper didn't give in.

* * *

As Agda' screams became louder and louder, one of the Altmers cast a spell on the door. Thanks to that little trick, no one could enter the _Sleeping Giant_ without using magic. Moreover, no one could hear the desperate cries of the girl that was repeatedly being tortured inside the inn.

The elves seemed crossed by the fierce resistance that Agda was putting up - she was a simple innkeeper, yet she was as stubborn as one of those bulky Nord warriors. In the attempt to make her talk, they broke every finger of her right hand, then they moved to the left one.

At that point, the sentinel spoke.

"This is getting rather boring", he said after a long yawn. "Perhaps we could undress this filth and have some fun. I guess that would definitely break her".

Agda looked at the elves with terrified eyes. The moment she saw the grin on the black-robed one's face, she realized that she was lost.

Her first-class ticket to Sovngarde was going to reach her sooner than she thought.

* * *

By the time the Thalmor cut the front line of her dress, Agda had started to cry in earnest. She was in pain, she was being humiliated, she was going to die in a stupid tavern in the middle of nowhere - and all because of her stubborness. At least, she wasn't one to walk around without undergarments.

"If she weren't a filthy Nord, I'd probably have a go at her myself", the mer who had broken her fingers smiled. "She seems to hate all this".

Agda would have liked to congratulate the Altmer on his intelligent remark, but she couldn't utter a sound. She knew she was in great danger, and she knew that she could save herself by revealing the few information she had. Yet, if the Thalmor were looking for Steinarius and Delphine, it meant that those two people were a thorn in their flesh - and whoever was a thorn in the flesh of the Dominion deserved to be hidden and protected, no matter if that involved the death of a simple innkeeper.

At least, that's what Agda believed.

The girl hadn't forgotten the way the Thalmor had forced her to flee from Anvil, just like she hadn't forgotten that they had set the Great Chapel of Bruma on fire. Although Agda wasn't usually very brave, at that moment she was ready to die to protect her friends.

"If you want usto stop, you simply have to tell us what you know", the black-robed Altmer told her when her sobs became more frequent than ever.

As Agda girl shook her head, the mer got closer and cast a mysterious spell.

"There's no need for us to be enemies", he said as he softly caressed Agda's face with his long fingers. He was warm and smooth and the girl soon found herself leaning into his touch. All of a sudden, she noticed that her torturer had a deep, soothing voice. "There's no need to cause sufferance. We like restoring, not destroying".

As he spoke, the mer cast a weak healing spell that caused Agda to let out a pleased moan. The Thalmor chuckled, then left featherlight touches on her bare collarbones. As the mer's talented fingers skimmed over her cold skin, the girl closed her eyes and almost forgot the situation she was in.

"It feels good, doesn't it?", the Thalmor whispered in her ear. "You just need to tell me what you know, little one. It's easy, believe me".

Something in that sentence took Agda back to reality. Enraged by the way her tortured had tried to charm her with a spell, she turned towards him and unexpectedly bit him.

As her sharp teeth collided with his hand, the black-robed Altmer let out a scream. A second later, he unsheathed his dagger and pointed it towards Agda.

"I'm tired of you, you dirty scum!"

Yet, before the Thalmor could finally cut Agda's throat and be done with her, the door to the inn was opened by a forceful spell, whereas the sentinel was submerged by a halo of fire.

Despite her fear, Agda managed to raise her head and see Delphine, Steinarius and an old man enter the inn.

The reinforcements had arrived just on time.


	11. Looking after our own

**Author's note:**

 **Here we are with the second part of the previous chapter.** **Apropos, I promise that the next few instalments will be more lighthearted - after all, poor Agda definitely deserves a break.**

 **Please let me know if you have any comment/critic/suggestion/whatever.**

 **As always, thank you for reading!**

 **Warning : torture, violence, description of injuries.**

* * *

As Steinarius, Delphine and their friend entered the inn, Agda let out a little, relieved sigh.

Taken aback by surprise, the black-robed Thalmor broke the spell that bound her to the wall, whereas the sentinel met his death at the end of Steinarius' sword. Unfortunately, before Agda could get out of danger, the other armored elf grabbed her by the arm and pointed his dagger at her throat.

"One more movement and the girl dies!"

That scream had the same effect of a paralysis spell. Agda's allies immediately stopped fighting, whereas the black-robed Altmer produced a satisfied smile – he had been badly hurt by an arrow, but it looked as if his comrade was about to get him out of troubles.

"Throw away your weapons!", the Thalmor who was holding Agda screamed.

When Delphine frowned, the young innkeeper felt the tip of the dagger cut the soft skin of her throat. As the first drops of blood started running down the girl's neck, the Breton sighed and let her bow fall to the ground.

For a short, unbelievable moment, Agda felt the need to chuckle - she had just been tortured by the Thalmor, her favourite blue dress had been torn to pieces, the woman who had taught her how to use a broomstick was actually a dangerous warrior.

Sheogorath was definitely playing tricks on her.

As the Thalmor who held her hostage started dragging her towards the door of the inn, Agda forgot the urge to laugh - had her captor and his black-robed friends made it to the exit, they would have probably cut her throat. If Agda was going to die, she wanted at least to be avenged – and if she wanted to be avenged, she had to make life difficult for her bullies.

With the sheer force of desperation, the young innkeeper tried to examine her situation. The adrenaline of the fight had stopped her tears and lessened the pain in her right hand. As she realized that her fingers were at the same level of her captor's loin, she smiled.

Her revenge was going to be much sweeter than she thought.

Before reaching the door, the man who was holding Agda ordered Delphine to give a healing potion to his black-robed friend. As he did so, the tip of his dagger moved slightly, so that it wasn't pointing towards Agda's throat anymore. With all the strength she could muster, the girl took advantage of that moment to cast an electricity spell.

Although her magicka was still recovering from the electrocution, Agda's plan was a success. The elf hadn't expected a Nord innkeeper to use magic – and he surely hadn't expected said spell to hit him right in the nethers.

As the Thalmor fell to the ground, Agda reached for his dagger and immediately attacked him. She stabbed him once, twice, thrice, reaching all the places the mer couldn't cover with his hands or his armor, then she stabbed him again until his face became a blurred mask of blood.

Even then, Agda didn't stop – she was determined to erase that creature from Nirn and hoped that, together with him, she could also erase all the pain that had been inflicted on her.

* * *

Agda kept on stabbing the mer until her hands became crimson with blood. Before she could stuck her blade into his neck for the thousandth time, someone grabbed her by the wrist and gently took the dagger away from her.

As if in magic, as soon as the weapon slipped from her fingers, Agda remembered the broken bones in her hand, the spasms that were still wracking her body, the way the Thalmor had threatened to rape her. As she did, she broke down in tears.

The girl immediately felt strong hands around her waist, then she felt someone lift her off the ground and carry her across the tavern. _Steinarius_ , Agda thought as she felt the cold steel of the man's armor under her fingertips. She hadn't forgotten the way he had tried to kill her, but at that moment Agda was much more troubled by what had just happened. She had shown a strength and a coldness she had never believed to possess, but now she felt like a sailor in the middle of a tempest - she was hurt and terrified and powerless and was eager to accept whatever help was being offered.

Well aware of her feelings, Steinarius took the girl to Delphine's room, then gently laid her down on the huge twinbed. A moment later he gathered her in his arms, thus allowing her to bury her face in the crook of his neck and start sobbing like a baby.

"It's over, Agda", he whispered as he softly cradled her. "It's all over now. You're safe. Now that we're here, no one will dare to hurt you".

* * *

When all the adrenaline disappeared, Agda started trembling like a leaf. Steinarius could feel her tears on his skin, her sticky forearms around his neck and her chest heaving in time with her sobs. He tried to soothe her with his whispers, but the girl was too shocked to hear him. As he softly kissed her hair, the Imperial felt a terrible anger bloom inside him. Agda was a sweet, caring and shy innkeeper, yet she had been tortured as though she was some kind of criminal.

The warrior felt the need to go back to the Thalmor Embassy and slay a few Altmers just for fun.

"Crepusculus, my blankets!"

As he heard Delphine's outraged complain, Steinarius regretted his lack of magical skills - at that moment, a silencing spell would have come in handy.

"I'll buy you another set", he hissed as he kept on stroking Agda's hair. The girl had stained the bed with the blood that marred her hands, forearms and knees.

"Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter", Delphine snorted. "If the girl has talked, a new set of blankets surely won't save us. Agda, I really do hope that you haven't revealed anything to our enemies, otherwise…"

Delphine got closer to Agda and tried to shake her shoulder. Nevertheless, Steinarius was quick to smack the Breton's hand away.

"Leave the poor girl be", he insisted. "She needs to recover from the shock".

"Everyone of us needs to recover from the shock, Crepusculus. Apropos, what am I to do with the three corpses sprawled on the floor of my inn?"

Steinarius already had an answer – after all, he hadn't become a Captain of the Legion just because people pitied his clumsiness or wanted to please his father.

"Esbern is an expert of Conjuration magic. Tell him to relive the corpses as thralls: as soon as the spell is over, they will turn to ashes. I also suggest you locking down the tavern. It will take a while to scrub the blood from the floor".

"If you think that the people of Riverwood won't notice that the inn is closed…"

"Delphine, it is almost New Life Festival", Steinarius interrupted her. "You can close the tavern and say that you were preparing the decorations, or that you, Agda and Orgnar were in Whiterun to buy as much mead as possible".

"And what if the Thalmor come looking for us again? What if Agda has talked and…"

"Had Agda talked, they wouldn't have tortured her like they did!", Steinarius said while raising his voice. He was about to lose his temper. "Search through the Altmers' robes and see if you find the usual bounty letter. If we're lucky, I'll copy the handwriting and send a fake message to Elenwen. I'll tell her that her preys are off to Bruma and that her minions are about to follow them. Elenwen may not believe us, but that trick will buy us time. And now, if you'll excuse us, there is someone who needs to stop hearing the word _Thalmor"_.

Delphine's eyes scorched his for almost a minute, but Steinarius didn't lower his gaze. As Agda kept on crying in his arms, he felt the need to protect her from everyone and everything.

* * *

Agda didn't realize what was happening until Steinarius cupped her face in his strong, callous hands. As she looked at him, she realized that his grey eyes were circled by the usual golden circles.

"Agda, I'd like you to tell me what they have done to you, if you feel like talking", the Imperial told her with his deep, soothing voice. "We'll need to know if we are to heal you".

Agda couldn't utter a sound. She was still shocked from the rough treatment she had received and ardently hoped Vaermina had just organized a tasteless joke on her behalf. Yet, the pain in her hand was definitely too real for her to be sleeping.

Without talking, she simply raised her injured arm and showed it to Steinarius. Despite their past misunderstandings, at that moment she felt as if the captain was the only one who could help her.

Agda noticed the man stifle a curse, then she saw him rummaging through the satchel he always kept at his waist. The Imperial put a few potions on the bed, then he spoke again.

"What else?"

When Agda tried to speak, a violent spasm wracked her body.

"Electrocution?"

The girl nodded, causing the wrinkles on Steinarius' forehead to become even deeper.

As he asked her more questions, the Imperial softly touched the cut on her neck, then laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. When his eyes wandered over her cleavage, Agda suddenly remember that she was almost naked. Sensing her embarrassment, Steinarius immediately stood up from the bed and grabbed a shirt he found in Orgnar's crate. It was big and old and smelled like sweat, but Agda eagerly took it to cover her torso.

As Steinarius sat down again, he helped the girl gulp a healing potion. The vial was going to dull the pain in her hand, but could do nothing for the broken bones.

Steinarius waited for Agda to feel better, then called Esbern in the room. He quickly introduced him by saying that he was _a friend of a friend_ , then he explained what kind of tortures the girl had endured. Esbern unexpectedly chuckled and said that he had missed repairing broken.

Agda, on the other hand, frowned.

That old man seemed as crazy as Hilde.

"Don't worry, girl", Esbern said as he sat next to Agda. He talked very loudly, as if he were deaf and couldn't hear his own voice. "Steiny here will do the hard work, whereas I'll cast a few spells to ease the pain. You'll just need to sit back and relax".

 _As if it were easy_ , Agda snorted. She was a healer, therefore she knew how things were going to unfold: the Thalmors had broken and dislocated some of her fingers - and to put them back where they belonged, Steinarius would be forced to break them again.

As the Imperial took her hand, Agda couldn't help but let out a terrified whimper.

"Come on girl, show us how strong you are!", Esbern chuckled.

Unfortunately, Agda had no wish to show Esbern _how strong she was_ \- she just wanted her problems to disappear and the nasty foul smell coming from the man to stop haunting her nostrils. It seemed as though Esbern had been living in a sewer for the last two centuries.

When Steinarius touched her again, Agda screamed as if he had just stabbed her. Esbern rolled his eyes, whereas the screams caused Delphine to appear on the threshold. The Breton was wearing an apron and had spent the previous thirty minutes of her life cleaning the floor on the inn from the Thalmors' blood.

"Are we sure that Agda hasn't betrayed us?", she asked while raising an eyebrow. "If she's screaming like that just because you're touching her wrist…"

Agda didn't know what to say. She felt mortified – mortified and pained and angry at Delphine's words. Luckily enough, Steinarius was quick to take her defense.

"I am a warrior, but the prospect of having my fingers broken twice in less than two hours wouldn't make me very happy either", he said with his singsong accent. "Now, Delphine, we'd be better off if you left us. We have some work to do, and so do you. Those New Life decorations need your help to spread their joyful colours throughout the inn, don't they?"

As Delphine returned to the main hall with an angry expression on her face, Steinarius took Agda's wrist once again. This time he was much gentler and soon began to trace little circles on the girl' skin.

As she looked at the blood on both their hands, Agda wondered what he had in mind.

"Tell me Agda, have you got any plan for New Life Festival?", Steinarius asked her after a few minutes of those gentle ministrations.

"Work", Agda managed to reply. Thanks to the Imperial's reassuring tones, she had almost stopped sobbing. "I'm an innkeeper".

Steinarius stifled a curse. He had completely forgotten that innkeepers had to work on New Life Festival. Nevertheless, he didn't give up on his plan.

"Any special present you'd like to get?"

Agda looked at Steinarius.

 _Was he planning to buy her a present or was he looking for ideas for another woman?_

"There's a necklace I like in Lucan' shop", she muttered after a few seconds. "It's made of silver and has an enchantment".

"Let me guess: it improves alchemy skills".

When Agda nodded, Steinarius smiled. A second later, he snapped her thumb back into place. Before Agda could even realize what had happened, Esbern cast a healing spell, thus dulling the pain and helping her nerves recover from the injury.

When that first part of the treatment was over, Steinarius and Esbern repeated the procedure four other times. The Imperial tried to get Agda to talk to him and relax, but by the time he got to her third finger, the girl had sunken into a long silence. Heavy tears were rolling down her cheeks, whereas her shoulders were wracked by her sobs.

As soon as the treatment was over, Steinarius was quick to hug her and hold her close.

"It's over, Agda, now it's really over", he whispered. "I promise you I won't hurt you anymore".

Esbern muttered something about _doing what needed to be done_ , but Agda didn't hear him - wrapped in Steinarius' strong arms, she was trying to forget all she had been through during that long, horrible day.


	12. The chosen one

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, let me send a huge _thank you_ to Savage Gosling, reddevil47 and jxciie for their reviews. ****It was a great morale boost to read them!**

 **Of course, I also thank all those who are reading/following/favoriting this story. Your support really means a lot to me!**

 **I know that in the last chapter I've been * _slightly*_ mean to Delphine - unfortunately, I still haven't got over the way she ordered me to kill Paarthurnax as soon as I managed to find three suitable people for the Blades. So yes, personal vendetta it is ;)**

 **As some of you might have noticed, jxciie's remark about my way of using punctuation inspired me to go back and update the previous chapters by reducing the number of blank spaces and using normal quotation marks (as already suggested by _msyendo_ r). I don't know how mail alerts work, so I hope these updates haven't flooded your inbox with annoying spams. If that is the case, I sincerely apologize and promise that I won't do it again.**

 **Anyway, back to business.** **After the angst of the previous instalments, here we are with the longest chapter I've written so far.**

 **As always, thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **16th of Evening Star**

The following morning, as Agda opened her eyes, she realized that she was still sprawled on Delphine's twinbed. The sheets had been stained by the blood on her hands, whereas her broken fingers were throbbing in a very painful way. The girl felt tired and weak and dizzy and had no memory of falling asleep.

With a tired sigh, Agda sat up on the bed. At that moment, she realized that she was still wearing one of Orgnar's old shirts and that Steinarius' arms were still wrapped around her waist.

Before the girl could overcome her surprise, the Imperial opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"You're finally awake", he told her with his singsong accent.

Agda was unnerved by the relief in the captain's voice. With a shiver, she wondered whether the two of them had slept together for the whole night.

"So it seems", Steinarius nodded in reply to her question. "My arm was trapped under your back, so I couldn't leave the bed without waking you up. Delphine gave you a sleeping draught, therefore I didn't dare bothering you while you were asleep".

Agda frowned. Her voice was still hoarse from the cries of the previous day, but at least she was now able to talk.

"Why did Delphine give me a draught? I don't remember waking up or having nightmares or... "

"You may not remember it, but Delphine and I perfectly do", Steinarius interrupted her. "And believe me, it wasn't a pleasant sight".

"What do you mean?"

Steinarius sighed. He was laying on his back, whereas Agda was sitting beside him.

"Agda, it's ten o'clock in the morning and you've been sleeping for the last twenty-four hours. Hadn't you woken up by midday, I would have regained possession of my arm and asked Delphine to call a healer".

"TWENTY-FOUR HOURS?"

As Steinarius noticed how worried and shocked and embarrassed Agda was, he immediately tried to reassure her.

"You didn't sleep the whole time, Agda. It was more like sobbing, then sleeping, then waking up with a scream; sobbing, sleeping, waking up with a scream. That's why Delphine gave you a potion".

Agda snorted. Not only had the sleeping draught kicked her out – it had messed with her memory too.

The girl suddenly wondered whether Steinarius had been troubled by her whole _crying and sobbing and waking up with a scream_ routine.

"You don't need to worry, Agda", the Imperial told her with a light smile. "It takes much more than that to bother my sleep. Anyway, I guess it's high time we cleaned you up".

Before the girl could ask what that meant, Steinarius swiftly hopped off the bed and headed for the main hall. Agda heard him talk to Delphine, then she heard a weird crashing sound.

"I'm fine!", the Imperial immediately screamed.

The young innkeeper frowned. The closets in the guestrooms hosted a metal basin on their tops; unfortunately, every time someone opened the closets too violently, the basins would fall to the ground. Apparently, Delphine hadn't warned Steinarius about it and the man's clumsiness had done the rest.

The captain was back in the room a second later. He laid a metal basin on the floor, then he wearily scrubbed his eyes with his hands, which were still covered in blood.

As he looked at Agda again, the girl couldn't stifle a low chuckle: completely oblivious of the blood that marred his hands, Steinarius now looked like a fluffy and sleepy red-eyed creature.

"I guess that a bath could do us good", the Imperial said without realizing how dirty his face was. "I've also brought you some clothes".

As Steinarius proudly presented her with an old sleeping gown that had probably belonged to the first woman who had ever lived in Skyrim, Agda sighed.

The captain was sweet and soothing and gentle, but he was as goofy as a Horker in a mage robe.

* * *

Despite Agda's protests, Steinarius insisted to help her with her bath.

Although the girl had kept her smallclothes on, at first she felt very uncomfortable. Yet, as the Imperial proceeded to rub her back and wash her hair, she let out a few embarrassing moans.

"You're good at this", she admitted.

Steinarius smiled. He was happy to see that Agda wasn't thinking about the Thalmors and he was even happier to see that she had temporarily forgotten the way he had tried to kill her.

"I had a lot of practise, Agda", he replied with a smile. "It's one of the few things I can do without causing disasters".

Agda frowned. In her experience, the only ones who needed help with their hygiene were old people, little children and people with health problems.

 _Did Steinarius use to attend an old relative of_ his?, she wondered. _Or did he usually take care of his injured friends during his time with the Companions?_

Agda would have liked to ask him those questions, but Delphine's appearance swayed her thoughts. The Breton handed her a clean set of blankets, causing Steinarius to snort.

The man helped Agda out of the basin, then he led her to her room, so that she could get dressed on her own.

As the young girl returned to the place where she had slept, she had a nice surprise - Steinarius had already changed the blankets and prepared Delphine's bed for the night. He had also bathed in record-time and prepared a plate full of sweets for Agda.

As the girl started eating, the captain wrapped her hand in a sloppy, yet comfortable bandage, then tried to make her laugh by telling her a few anecdotes about the Legion. Unfortunately, when Delphine called him from the main hall, Steinarius was forced to leave.

Agda felt a tingle of worry when the Imperial abandoned her. She tried to focus on her breakfast, but she couldn't block out the screams coming from the main hall. Apparently, Delphine and Steinarius were arguing _again_.

When the Breton shouted the word _Thalmor_ , the sweetroll that Agda was eating suddenly fell to the floor. Out of the blue, all the memories from the previous day flooded her mind, thus erasing what little peace she had managed to regain.

The girl remembered the fear of the interrogation, the pain of the torture, the way she had trembled when the Thalmor had cut her dress. Eventually, she also remembered the way she had killed her captor.

As she did, she immediately broke down in tears.

* * *

When Steinarius returned to Delphine's room, he immediately sensed that something was off.

As soon as he noticed that Agda was hidden in a corner, the captain knelt down in front of her, then gathered her in his arms. He soothed her and stroked her until Agda stopped crying, then he cupped her face in his hands.

As he looked at her troubled expression, Steinarius frowned.

Because of him, that innocent girl had already risked to die twice. Now, the very least he could do was provide her with some good explanations for the Thalmor's attack.

* * *

To Agda, the simple idea of remaining at the inn – that very same inn where she had been tortured and had killed a man – was appalling. Therefore, when Steinarius asked her to take a walk with him, she eagerly accepted his offer.

Unfortunately, as soon as the girl understood why the Imperial had told her to wear comfortable boots and heavy clothes, she immediately regretted her decision.

"I thought we would head to Whiterun", she muttered when Steinarius took the road that led towards Helgen. They were in the middle of Riverwood and a few snowflakes were lazily falling over their heads. "Isn't it dangerous to walk through the forests?"

Steinarius shook his head. He was wearing his usual steel armor and had a very lethal-looking dwarven sword strapped at his waist.

"In the forests there is nothing for dragons to destroy, therefore we'll be relatively safe".

Agda frowned. When she'd accepted Steinarius' offer, she hadn't contemplated the possibility of being attacked by an overgrown fire-spitting lizard. Therefore, as soon as she heard the word _dragon_ , she immediately wished she had never left the inn.

Sensing her fears, Steinarius laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"You just need to trust me, Agda. As long as you're with me, nothing will happen".

When the Imperial jokingly pinched her cheek, Agda agreed to follow him and even managed to produce a tiny smile. Yet, as the walls of Riverwood got out of her sight, she felt a cold shiver run down her neck.

For the third time in her life, she was going to tackle the wilds of Skyrim.

* * *

The walk to the Standing Stones was much easier than predicted. Agda panted when the road became steeper, but didn't come across any overgrown cat or dog or lizard.

She almost couldn't believe her luck.

Beside her, Steinarius was quieter than usual. He made a few comments about the cold winters of Skyrim, then resumed walking in silence. Later, when the two of them reached the Standing Stones, the captain absent-mindedly touched the one carrying the symbol of the Warrior.

"My birthsign is the Snake", he told Agda. "But in my line of work, the warrior is everyone's favorite constellation".

At that point Steinarius took a steep, hidden path that led to the shores of Lake Ilinalta. When he noticed that Agda had some troubles following him, he came back and took her by the hand. As soon as the girl reached the lake, however, he immediately let go.

When the strange couple got to a little wooden shack in the middle of a pinewood, Steinarius smiled.

"Agda, I welcome you to Anise's cabin", he proudly announced. "After Anise died, one of my friends decided to use her house as her own personal shack. She and I used to spend a lot of time here".

Agda would have liked to ask Steinarius more information about his mysterious friend, but the memory of his sudden escape from Alvor's house prevented her from being too nosy. The Imperial was sweet and goofy and kind, but he was also quick to lose his temper - _and if he stormed out of the shack in anger, I would never make it back to Riverwood_ , Agda thought. Suddenly, that trip to the forests looked like a very bad idea.

Completely unaware of the girl's thoughts, Steinarius lit some of the candles he found inside the shack.

"Anise was an alchemist", he explained. "Unfortunately, she was also friends with a few Hargravens. When my friend found out about it, Anise attacked her, thus causing her prompt reaction. As you can see, after her death we did a good job of cleaning the place".

Although the revelation about Anise's death had slightly unnerved her, Agda noticed that the cabin was cozy and warm - there were clean blankets in a crate, books on a shelf, a few potions on a table. Nevertheless, everything was covered by a thick layer of dust.

"I don't come here often", Steinarius admitted as he noticed the girl's frown. "Yet, there is a hidden cellar I wanted to show you".

Intrigued by the discovery, Agda followed Steinarius through a trapdoor. As she saw the alchemy lab in the cellar, she let out a surprised cry.

That trip had just become much more interesting than expected.

* * *

Agda fiddled with the alchemy lab for what felt like hours. As Steinarius stifled the hundredth yawn of the afternoon, however, she suddenly remembered about his presence.

"You said you wanted to talk".

Prompted by those words, Steinarius forgot his tiredness and asked Agda to go back to the first floor. Although she would have liked to keep on examining Anise's rare collection of ingredients, the girl obliged.

She sat down on the woman's bed, whereas Steinarius slumped on a nearby chair.

"Agda, I know that you haven't forgotten the way I almost strangled you", the Imperial said without further preambles. "And I'm sure that you haven't forgotten the way I passed out in the inn a few days ago. I guess I owe you an explanation".

Agda frowned. She obviously hadn't forgotten those events, but hadn't expected Steinarius to explain her the reasons for his behavior - after all, the man was a Captain of the Legion and the son of one of the wealthiest men in Tamriel, whereas she was a simple innkeeper.

"I also want you to understand why an Imperial like me joined the Companions and why I later decided to become a soldier", Steinarius added before Agda could say anything. "But to achieve my aim, I'll need to tell you something about my youth.

"As you already know, I was born in Kvatch to an important member of the Imperial Legion. Mom was a Priestess of Akatosh, just like all her ancestors before her. I never had any siblings and I grew up amongst soldiers and horses and weapons, as my father often travelled through Cyrodiil because of his job.

"When I was seven, dad was unexpectedly stationed to Skyrim. At first I lived in Castle Dour with him and my mum, then we moved to a huge place called Proudspire Manor. Prince Thorygg was the same age as I, so we quickly became friends. He adored books and music and arts, whereas I grew to love hunting and fighting and horse riding. His father joked that I was a Nord through and through, whereas Thorygg was a perfect Imperial. He certainly didn't expect similar words to be used by the man who later killed his son".

There was a brief pause, during which Steinarius heavily sighed. As she looked at him, Agda noticed that his eyes had become golden as soon as he mentioned Thorygg. Apparently, that weird change in his irises took place whenever the captain was angry or sad or worried.

"My parents wished I would become a steward for Thorygg, but I wasn't cut for court life", Steinarius said, thus resuming his tale. "I wanted to become a warrior, therefore I joined the Companions shortly after my seventeenth birthday. I lived with them for seven years and never regretted that choice. Yet, about one year ago, I received the news of Thorygg's death.

"As soon as I found out about the murder of my best friend, I swore revenge. At that time I had already had some fights with my shield-siblings, as we all had different ideas on the war. After one particularly heated argument, I stormed out of Jorrvaskr and never looked back".

As Steinarius paused, he lowered his gaze. Agda, on the other hand, frowned. For some reason, she felt as though the Imperial was hiding the true reason why he'd left the Companions.

Unaware of her suspects, the man sighed and kept on talking.

"As you already know, I worked in the Legion for the last few months, slowly rising through the ranks and earning my colleagues' respect. Yet, a few weeks ago I decided to quit".

Agda couldn't stifle her surprise.

 _"Whaaaaat?_ ", she asked while widening her eyes. "What does it mean that _you quit the Legion_? Hadvar said that he and the other soldiers _adored_ you! He also told me that you're one of the most promising officers of the army and that you were about to get an even higher rank! Why would such a talented soldier suddenly quit?"

With another sigh, Steinarius lowered his gaze.

"I didn't leave because I wanted to", he whispered as though he was speaking to himself. "I left because I had to".

Confused by those words, Agda immediately stopped her confused rantings.

"When the dragon destroyed Helgen, I was angry", Steinarius told her. He was still looking at the floor and seemed very worried about something. "I was angry for the losses and the destruction and for the fact that the three months of efforts that had led me to capture Ulfric had suddenly vanished into nothing. Yet, that day I didn't think that my destiny was about to change".

Despite Agda's frown, Steinarius kept on talking.

"When I was with you in Riverwood and you mentioned the Companions, the tiredness and the frustration had me losing my temper. I headed for Whiterun to talk to the Jarl and, although I wanted to leave for Solitude as soon as possible, I stopped because Balgruuf asked me to retrieve a weird stone from Bleak Falls Barrow. That's why on the following morning I came back to Riverwood – while I was stuck in his shop with my sprained ankle and his annoying sister, I'd heard Lucan Valerius talking about a stolen golden claw. I have my fair experience of Nordic ruins and I know that sometimes it's impossible to explore them without those items.

"I quickly retrieved the stone Balgruuf needed and returned to Dragonsreach as soon as possible. On my way to Whiterun I would have liked to stop at the _Sleeping Giant_ and say that I wasn't angry at you, but unfortunately I had already lost enough time. Therefore, after bringing the claw back to Lucan, I immediately headed for Dragonsreach. While I was there, a dragon attacked the Western Watchtower.

"I'm a good warrior and I had already witnessed the attack on Helgen, therefore I followed the townguards and helped them against the beast. As I killed the dragon, the world around me suddenly became dark and I felt a weird stream of memories flow through my mind. When I recovered my sight, I felt the unstoppable urge to Shout. And when I did, the nightmare began".

Steinarius stopped to look Agda's in the eyes. He was both curious and nervous about her possible reactions.

As she realized that the Imperial and the mysterious dragonslayer of Whiterun were the same person, the girl frowned. A second later, she noticed how tired and worried and troubled Steinarius looked. At last, Agda focused on the word his friend had just used.

 _Shout._

When she understood what all those clues meant, the girl let out a surprised squeak.

"It cannot be!", she protested out of shock.

Amused by her reaction, Steinarius humorlessly chuckled.

"And yet it is. The Divines have chosen me, an Imperial and a former captain of the Legion, to save our world from the end. I can no longer hide it, Agda: _I am the Dragonborn_ ".


	13. Shelter from the storm

**Author's note:**

 **Hi everyone! As usual, I send a huge _thank you_ to all those who are reading/favoriting/following this fanfic. Moreover, I deeply thank Alastair279, Guest and reddevil47 for leaving me a review. Without your support, updating my story would cost me a much greater effort.**

 **As far as the reviews are concerned, I'm very glad to see that Guest is enjoying this fanfic. Moreover, I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that Delphine is rather hateful. I admire her for being a strong woman who fights for what she believes in, sure, but I don't enjoy being ordered around as if I were her own personal slave. Given that there's a mod that can solve that (apropos, thank you Alstair279 for the tip!), I'll probably take the big step of buying Skyrim for pc (I am but a poor console player).**

 **As far as reddevil47's review is concerned, I'll admit that it had me grin for a few glorious minutes. I've tried to hide Steinarius' connection with the Dragonborn as long as I could and it looks like I've made a rather decent job *pats herself on the shoulder*. Also, I'm taking my sweet time building Steinarius' relationship with Agda because I want them to do/say certain things before the whole Dovahkiin-madness spirals out of control. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten about Vigdis and her baby. You just need to trust me: all will be revealed in due time ;)**

 **Anyway, enough spoilers for the moment. Here's the second part of the previous chapter, in which we get to discover more about Steinarius and his new life as the Dragonborn. It's another build-up instalment that explains a few important things about the previous parts of the story.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

There was a long moment of silence as Steinarius' words slowly sank in Agda's mind.

At first, the girl thought that the Imperial was making fun of her. Yet, as she noticed his troubled eyes and the way his hands were slightly shaking, she realized that he was telling the truth.

"I didn't believe it either, at first", the man faintly whispered. "The guards called me _Dragonborn_ , Balgruuf made me Thane of Whiterun, the townsfolk even organized a party at the _Bannered Mare_. As I met them on the streets, all of them were smiling as though my simple presence was enough to keep them safe. I didn't have the courage to face their happiness, so I made up a stupid excuse and left Whiterun before my newly appointed huskarl could even realize it.

"When I finally reached Castle Dour, I made no mention of the Dragonborn problem. I told Tullius that I still had nightmares about Helgen and that I wanted to be stationed somewhere far from Whiterun. When the General assigned me to a post near Karthwasten, I eagerly accepted his offer.

"The daily fights with the Forsworn allowed me to forget the whole Dovahkiin madness for a few weeks, but I was harshly taken back to reality when a dragon attacked my camp. I killed the beast and once again I absorbed its soul. As I did, I had no doubts left: there was something _wrong_ with me, something deeply, terribly _wrong_ ".

Agda immediately noticed the slight fear in Steinarius' words. At that moment the man looked frail and scared and worried. It was hard to believe he was a hardened warrior - and it was even harder to believe that he was the prophesized savior of Skyrim.

Agda deeply wished she could do something to make him feel better.

"There's nothing wrong with you", she said with a reassuring tone. As she spoke, she leant towards the Imperial and laid a hand on his arm. "You're a good man, Steinarius. Without you, I would have never recovered from the way the Thalmor tortured me".

The man shook his head.

"I'm not a good man, Agda. I tried to kill you, I ashamed the Companions by joining the Legion, I didn't protect Thorygg from his enemies, I didn't manage to kill Ulfric. Moreover, had it not been for me, you wouldn't have been tortured at all".

Taken aback by that remark, Agda remained speechless for a few seconds.

Bothered by that uncomfortable silence, Steinarius quickly resumed his tale.

"As you might have heard, the Greybeards summoned me to High Hrothgar as soon as I killed my first dragon. I pushed their calling aside for more than a month, but when the second dragon came along, I could no longer ignore the weird effects that those beasts had on me. Therefore, I finally faced my destiny and headed for Ivarstead. You've never visited the Greybeards, have you?"

Agda shook her head.

"Then you should", Steinarius suggested her. "At first I was annoyed by their slowness, their prayers and their silence, but after two days in their monastery I felt as though I didn't have a care left in the world. The Greybeards have managed to guide me and reassure me in one of the worst moments of my life, therefore I decided to live with them as long as I could. The monks told me about the Way of the Voice and taught me some of their secrets. I stayed at High Hrothgar until I was forced to leave in order to recover an ancient item and complete my trial as the Dragonborn.

"When I was told about that errand, I got really angry. I'd grown to love the peace of High Hrothgar, therefore the idea of returning to the world was enough to make me puke. It didn't help that on my way to Ustengrav I came across a couple of angry dragons.

"After I arrived in Hjaalmarch, I trekked through a Nordic ruin for almost two days. I was tired and injured and worried I would never find my way back. Then, when I finally reached the resting place of Jurgen Windcaller, I had one of the worst surprises of my life, as the item I was looking for wasn't there. After the first moments of desperation, I realized that the object had been replaced by a note that asked me to come to the _Sleeping Giant_. Unfortunately, that's when I lost it.

"I lent a horse and rode as fast as I could for a few days. When I finally reached Riverwood and saw your satisfied smile, I couldn't keep my anger at bay. I thought you'd lured me inside that ruin just because you wanted to see me and, when you mentioned the note you had sent me, I felt as though my suspects were completely right".

Steinarius sighed and let his hand flow through his blond hair.

"I'm sorry, Agda, I really am", he whispered as he remembered the way he had almost strangled her. "I don't know you well, but you come across like a very sweet girl. Despite my rage, I shouldn't have treated you like I did".

"I thought you'd received the note Adaeze sent you on my behalf, that's why I didn't ask you why you were so angry", Agda muttered in a weak attempt to make Steinarius feel better. "I should have stopped you immediately rather than…"

The Imperial interrupted her with a gesture.

"You have no blames, Agda. Not even a drunken note could excuse my behavior".

"It was a very blunt note, actually".

Much to Agda's embarrassement, Steinarius unexpectedly chuckled.

"So I've noticed. You know, before reaching Ustengrav I spent a few hours in Solitude. As I had dinner at the local inn, I quickly read the letters I'd received during my absence. As you can imagine, your note was among them".

Agda felt as though her cheeks had just caught fire.

"You'll probably be scared, given that you're in an isolated shack together with a girl who's already voiced her desire to molest you", she somehow managed to utter.

As he noticed the girl's embarrassment, Steinarius nervously laughed.

"Agda, it's not the first time I receive a letter like yours", he reassured her. "Moreover, Hadvar got a very similar note from Adaeze, so I immediately realized that your friend had sent me that letter on your behalf. Yet, I thought you had somehow decided to lure me in Ustengrav because I hadn't replied to your note. After all, you're the only person I know who lives in Riverwood and works at the _Sleeping Giant_. It was a very stupid mistake on my side, Agda: I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions".

"So you're not angry at me?"

Steinarius tenderly smiled.

"I should be the one to ask you that question, Agda. By the way no, I'm not angry at you. And you, are you mad at me?".

Agda shook her head. She wasn't angry at the man who had tried to kill her – at least, she wasn't angry at him _anymore_. Steinarius was quick to lose his temper, sure, and sometimes his mysterious ways could be downright annoying. Yet, the girl believed him to be an honest, decent and honorable man.

As soon as he received Agda's forgiveness, Steinarius smiled. Prompted by her questions, he went on to tell her about Kynesgrove, Alduin and Delphine's true identity.

"After killing that dragon in Kynesgrove, I went to Solitude and officially resigned from the Legion. After all, If I'm to save the world – _everyone_ 's world, not just mine -, I don't need the Empire to support me. Rikke immediately understood the reason why I was quitting, whereas Tullius protested. He even called me names, but I couldn't care less.

"After leaving the Legion, I returned to High Hrothgar to continue my training. Every morning I would visit Riverwood to talk to Delphine, then I'd go back to the monastery".

Agda was shocked by that revelation. It took a very long time to reach High Hrothgar, therefore she couldn't understand how Steinarius could travel so fast between Riverwood and that remote place.

"I have my ways", the Imperial told her with a sheepish grin.

He then proceeded to tell Agda about the Thalmor embassy, his visit to the Ratway and his upcoming journey to Alduin's wall. The Imperial said he would leave for the Pinnacle of Karth in a few days, then he fell silent.

While she watched his troubled eyes and listened to his heavy sighs, Agda suddenly felt the need to hug him and thank him for all he was going through.

As an inhabitant of Nirn, she couldn't help but feel safe knowing that such a loyal man was set to fight against the end of her world.

* * *

By the time Steinarius finished his tale, Anise's cabin had been surrounded by darkness. The Imperial explained Agda why the Thalmor were looking for him, then he made her chuckle by telling her about his disguise for Elenwen's party - a curly red wig and a fake scar across the eye. Luckily enough, the Emissary of the Dominion hadn't paid him any attention.

As Agda and Steinarius finally left the shack, the snow was slowly falling on the forest. The Imperial had filled his knapsack with the potions Agda had brewed and he had also lent her his cloak. The girl was happy to be with him: Steinarius was sweet and kind and gentle and made her feel safe even when they were facing the wilds.

While they were walking side by side, Agda perceived that the Imperial was much more relaxed than usual. As he told her about his youth in Solitude, he often allowed a tiny, crooked smile to appear on his lips; moreover, Agda noticed that his eyes were now completely grey, as though he felt completely at ease after revealing her his true identity.

When Steinarius gave her a particularly long smile, the young innkeeper scooped closer to him, then took him by the arm. Steinarius frowned for a second, causing her to blush. Yet, as he noticed that Agda was about to let him go, he smiled and draped an arm around her shoulders.

As they finally reached Riverwood, both of them were feeling much better than they had over the previous month – and when Agda opened the door to the inn and found herself face to face with Adaeze, she felt even better.

Now that she was reunited with her best friend, the celebrations for New Life Festival could finally begin.


	14. New Life Festival

**Author's note:**

 **First of all,** **a huge _thank you_ to all those who are keeping up with this story/following it/favoriting it. You really are the best :) ****Moreover, I thank reddevil47 for their review. It really lifts my spirit to know that you liked the previous chapter, and I hope you'll like this one too. Of course, I also thank Guest for their review about chapter 7. I know that that instalment was quite weird, but it was very useful to build up my characters' personalities.**

 **As for the delay in the updates, I want to reassure my readers that I haven't abandoned this story; simply enough, real life has caught up with me and from now on this fanfic will be updated more sporadically.**

 **Anyway, back to business ;) After Steinarius finally told Agda that he's the Dragonborn, I thought that our favourite innkeeper could use some free time to enjoy the celebrations for New Life Festival. Therefore, here's a long chapter before the story continues at a faster pace.**

 **The ending is told from Steinarius' POV and may be a bit confusing, but all will be explained in due time.**

 **Warning : alcohol.**

* * *

 **1st of Morning Star, 4E 202**

For the first time in her life, that year Agda could enjoy the holidays without arguing with her relatives or panicking because her friends still hadn't decided where to get drunk on New Life Festival; moreover, she finally felt as though she didn't have a care left in the world.

In the days after her long talk with Steinarius, Agda could get over her misunderstandings with the Imperial, the tortures she had endured, the way that she had taken a Thalmor's life. Those memories still haunted her dreams, sure, but during the day the young innkeeper didn't feel in danger anymore: she no longer burst into tears while attending to the patrons and had even regained her usual happiness.

Agda mainly had to thank her friends for her newly found peace.

Adaeze had wished to surprise her by turning up in Riverwood a few days before New Life Festival – and just as the Redguard had predicted, her plan worked out perfectly. The two girls spent the night of their reunion chatting and chuckling and eating the sweets Adaeze had brought in from Riften. They fell asleep at the counter of the inn, causing Delphine to roll her eyes and Steinarius to carry them both to the Breton's huge bed.

Adaeze hadn't shown any hint of embarrassment at meeting the clumsy Imperial – on the contrary, she had immediately asked him whether he had enjoyed her drunken note. Steinarius had chuckled, but hadn't given her an answer. Considering that many Companions were famous for boasting about their love conquests, Adaeze had been surprised by that silence. Steinarius clearly didn't enjoy talking about his private life and the Redguard felt obliged to find out why.

Adaeze soon noticed that Agda was hiding something as well: she seemed reluctant to talk about her broken hand and had very frequent nightmares. In this case, however, the Redguard decided not to enquire – after all, she was just as hesitant when it came to answering Hadvar's questions about her job.

The young soldier adored New Life Festival and, since his good conduct had earned him some days off right before the beginning of the new year, he had immediately taken that chance to visit his family. When he discovered that Adaeze was in the village too, the shy Nord felt like the happiest man on Nirn.

During the days that led to New Life Festival, also Steinarius seemed to forget the whole Dragonborn business: he often chatted with Hadvar, listened to Embry's bad jokes and laughed every time Adaeze told him one of her funny anecdotes. The Imperial had a booming and contagious laughter that always managed to bring a smile on Agda's lips.

Now that she knew that Steinarius was the Dragonborn, the young innkeeper felt very protective towards him: she cooked him his favorite meals, brewed him useful potions, tried to change the topic of conversation whenever her patrons talked about the dragons. In return, Steinarius gave threatening looks to everyone who enquired about Agda's broken hand or mentioned the Thalmor when she was around. He had also taken the habit to pinch the girl's cheeks or play with her blonde curls, something that always managed to make Agda blush.

The Nord loved the mischievous smile that accompanied those gestures and adored tousling Steinarius' hair in revenge.

Agda didn't know how to interpret the behavior of the Dragonborn, but one thing she knew: she always felt good when she was with Steinarius and sincerely hoped that the warrior felt the same way about her.

* * *

Steinarius' constant presence in Riverwood soon raised some questions.

Eventually, when the rumors about him and Camilla became particularly irritating, the Dragonborn did something very cunning – he visited Hadvar's family and revealed them that he had left the Legion.

"I didn't enjoy being ordered around like a puppet, so I quit", he said at the end of a glorious dinner prepared by Sigrid. "Right now I'm trying to become a sellsword. Given that all the other inns of Skyrim have already been taken, I've decided to set camp at the _Sleeping Giant_ ".

Poor Hadvar was shocked by the news, just like his uncle Alvor. Sigrid, instead, immediately reported the rumour to the rest of the village.

In few hours, everyone found out about the new occupant of the _Sleeping Giant_ – and whereas Camilla called Sigrid a liar and kept on claiming that Steinarius was madly in love with her, the other inhabitants of Riverwood started treating the Imperial with a mixture of respect and deference.

Everyone seemed to love that weird sellsword – the only, remarkable exception was a Breton woman named Delphine.

The experienced warrior was simply mad at her uncooperative Dragonborn. She had worked hard to preserve the memory of the Blades, hiding and waiting and living in a web of lies and disguises for more than twenty-five years. Yet, now that she and Esbern finally had the chance to restore their Order, the only person who could help them seemed much more interested in chatting with a few bumpkins than saving the world from the dragons.

Delphine had mixed feelings towards Steinarius. On the one hand, she had to admit that the Imperial was the strongest warrior she had ever met: he was good with a bow, had an incredible stamina and was incredibly lethal when he could fight with his sword and his shield. On the other hand, Delphine couldn't help but feel that Steinarius wasn't the flawless Dragonborn she had always dreamed of: he didn't trust her, had an annoying respect for the Greybeards, was always ready to defend the weak and the poor and the oppressed. But most of all, Steinarius was clearly frightened by his destiny and deeply craved a boring life made of simple habits and dull distractions.

Unfortunately for him, simple habits and dull distraction had nothing to do with the calling of the Dragonborn.

* * *

On the morning of New Life Festival, all the people of Riverwood gathered in _the Sleeping Giant_ together with the local guards and the few hunters who usually roamed the roads around the village.

Agda, Orgnar and Delphine were busy serving mead for the whole day, but were happy to see that Sigrid and Gerdur had cooked some food for the occasion, too. Apparently, the celebrations had managed to make the two women forget about the troubles caused by the war.

At first Hadvar seemed unnerved by the presence of Ralof' sister, but Adaeze was quick to make his worries disappear. The two of them spent most of the day drinking and chuckling and smiling dumbly at each other, causing Agda to wonder how much it would take them to end up in the same bed.

At some point during the evening, Faendal started singing a weird elven song, Hod and Alvor began to dance with their wives, Embry kissed Delphine on the cheek. A few minutes later, after she regained her usual composure, the Breton made a surprise announcement: she would leave the _Sleeping Giant_ to Orgnar and go back to High Rock, where she would finally retire and spend the last years of her life together with her family.

Agda knew that Delphine had made up that lie to hide her departure for Alduin's wall, but couldn't help but feel a lot of tenderness as she watched her employer hold back the tears.

Apparently, over the course of time the Breton had grown to love her little inn in the middle of nowhere.

However, as she noticed that Agda was about to cry, Delphine rolled her eyes and gave her a threatening look.

"If you make me burst into tears, I'll skin you", she warned the girl. Yet, as the young Nord pulled a terrified face, Delphine chuckled and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I was joking, Agda. By the way, it's time for you to have fun. Since you've been working all day, from now on Orgnar and I can take care of the patrons by ourselves".

Prompted by Delphine's words and by the combined approval of Orgnar and Esbern, Agda couldn't stifle a grin.

It was high time she enjoyed the celebrations too.

* * *

Steinarius was watching the dances from a corner of the tavern. As Agda approached him, he raised his cup of wine and gave her one of his crooked smiles.

For some reasons, the girl thought that he looked very sad.

"I'm fine", the Imperial reassured her when she asked him how he was doing. "I was just reliving some memories from my past. Moreover, little Dorthe asked me to dance. As you can imagine, I'm afraid I might have scarred her for life".

Agda chuckled. Hadvar's little cousin had insisted so much that Steinarius had eventually yielded to her desires and offered her a little dance. He had taken her hands, then he had goofily waltzed with her across the room. Unfortunately, by doing so he had stepped on the Dorthe's feet more than once.

"That brat called me _lanky goblin_ ", Steinarius revealed with a lot more sternness than necessary.

"You are lanky", Agda pointed out.

"But I'm no goblin".

Agda chuckled, then grabbed Steinarius by the arm.

Everyone inside the inn was happy and careless and smiling and she couldn't wait to be part of that joyful atmosphere.

As Steinarius realized that the girl wanted to dance, however, he immediately tried to protest.

"Agda, I'm not sure this is a good idea. I'm a terrible dancer and…"

Before the Imperial could finish that sentence, Agda had already dragged him in the middle of the tavern. She was an awful dancer too, but was set on spending some time with her hands on Steinarius' body.

By the time Agda and her partner started to prance across the tavern, Sven had lent his lute to Embry, who had begun to play something that vaguely reminded a wild, chaotic waltz. The bard was enjoying those rare moments of freedom by dancing with Adaeze, whereas Hadvar was tenderly stroking one of the tavern's pillars.

Agda had never seen anyone so drunk.

As she began to dance with Steinarius, the girl smiled. Wrapped in a long dark dress, she felt beautiful and happy and serene.

"See?", she told her friend. "Now that you have a partner who is almost as tall as you, dancing isn't that hard".

"Yeah, but I can't understand who of us is leading".

Agda frowned. To her, the concept of leading was completely foreign.

As she asked Steinarius for explanations, both of them temporarily forgot what they were doing. Nevertheless, they remembered about it as soon as one of the nearby couples let out a curse.

Somehow, Steinarius had managed to step on the feet of _both_ those dancers, thus making them tumble and fall face first on the floor.

Before Agda could properly appreciate that masterpiece born out of drunkenness, clumsiness and bad luck, she was unexpectedly dragged out of the door. Running like mad, Steinarius took her to Gerdur's lumber mill, then halted his crazy escape from the tavern. A moment later, as Agda looked at him with a mixture of shock, confusion and _murder_ (her physical shape didn't allow her to run at such a high speed), the Imperial tilted his head backwards and burst into the loudest and happiest laughter the girl had ever heard in her life.

* * *

When the two angry dancers finally stopped looking for him, Steinarius sat down under the roof of the lumber mill, so that the falling snow wouldn't bother him too much. He immediately motioned for Agda to do the same, then he gently draped an arm around her waist, causing the girl to scoop closer and enjoy his body warmth.

The two friends quietly talked about the holidays, Hadvar's crush for Adaeze, the way Delphine had almost burst into tears as she'd announced she would leave the inn. Then they fell into a comfortable silence.

Prompted by the mead she had drunk and the relaxing atmosphere around her, after some minutes Agda rested her head against Steinarius' shoulder. When he didn't protest, she smiled and closed her eyes in bliss.

The girl felt as though she was living in a fairytale: clad in snow, that night Riverwood looked like the most beautiful place in the world; the snowflakes were tracing lazy patterns in the air, whereas the sudden gusts of wind carried the smell of fire and mead and food. Agda could hear the music coming from the inn and could see a couple of deers on the other side of the White River. But most of all, at that moment she could focus on the way Steinarius' body felt against her own. Agda could feel his welcoming warmth, his taut muscles, the slow rhythm of his heartbeat. She could see the little puffs he produced with his breath and could see the way his grey eyes mirrored the landscape around them. Moreover, she could enjoy the gentle circles the Imperial was tracing on her arm and the spiced scent coming from his skin. Steinarius smelled like juniper, lavender and nightshade, like mead and smoke and fire. But most of all, Agda thought, he smelled like _home_.

As she noticed how calm and thoughtful the Imperial looked, the girl suddenly felt the need to caress him. Yet, as soon as she motioned to reach for him, Steinarius unexpectedly pulled away from their hug. Agda wanted to ask Steinarius why he'd done that, but the little envelope in the Imperial's hands soon gathered all her attention.

The mighty Dragonborn had bought her a present.

* * *

A few seconds later, as she looked at the precious necklace in her hands, Agda frowned.

At first, the joy and the shock and the surprise for that gift had had her throw her arms around Steinarius' neck, causing him to chuckle. Now, however, the innkeeper felt embarrassed by the expensive present the man had bought her.

That necklace was entirely made of gold and had the strongest alchemy enchantment Agda had ever seen.

As she thought about the lame sheath she had bought for Steinarius, she blushed and lowered her gaze.

"Steinarius, this is the most expensive thing I've ever seen. It's a wonderful present, sure, but I can't accept it. I don't deserve it".

The Imperial frowned.

"You don't like the colour?"

Agda shook her head.

"It's not the colour, Steinarius. You know, this necklace is the best gift I've ever received, but..."

"And you are the sweetest innkeeper I've ever met", Steinarius said with a low chuckle. "I'd say that we're even".

Unfortunately, Agda had a very different opinion: she couldn't understand why Steinarius had bought her a golden necklace rather than a silver one and felt both flattered and embarrassed by that fact.

She went on to protest until the Imperial stopped her with an exasperated sigh.

"Agda, I've bought this present for you, and for you only", he calmly told her. "You'd make me very happy if you accepted it".

Those words finally did the trick. Agda muttered the hundredth _thank you_ of the evening, then watched Steinarius with an unusual intense gaze. When her eyes lingered for a few seconds on his lips, the man hastily stood up.

"The others will be wondering where we're hiding", he said as he pointed towards the inn.

Agda seemed slightly surprised by his remark, but immediately stood up and followed Steinarius without protests.

As he noticed the way she was absent-mindedly toying with her new necklace, the Imperial felt a weird feeling in his gut - and said feeling resembled a strange mixture of guilt and sadness and longing.

* * *

Although it was well past midnight, the inn was still crowded by a lot of very drunk people. Some of them were feeling so bad that Orgnar had been forced to tuck them in the beds Steinarius and Agda usually slept in, whereas others had collapsed on the floor of the tavern.

As though that wasn't enough, there were loud cries of pleasure coming from Delphine's room.

When she recognized Adaeze's voice, Agda grinned. Yet, when she saw that Hadvar was sleeping by the fireplace, she immediately deadpanned.

A second later, as the young innkeeper heard Sven's grunts, she promised she would have a long talk with her Redguard friend. Steinarius, on the other hand, took it upon himself to help Hadvar with his broken heart.

After making a few comments about that situation and chuckling at Delphine's outraged look, Agda laid down on the floor of the inn. The area behind the counter wasn't the most comfortable place in Tamriel, but at least it was remotely clean - and given that her bed was already taken and that it was well past midnight, the girl didn't mind spending the rest of the night there.

When Steinarius took place beside her, the girl scooped closer to him, then rapidly fell asleep. As every other Nord innkeeper, she definitely wasn't sensible about sleeping on the floor.

While he looked at her calm expression and the way she was clutching to her new necklace in her sleep, Steinarius couldn't help but think about the time he and Agda had spent together until that moment. As the cries from Delphine's room became louder and lourder, the Imperial realized that part of him wished to discover whether Agda closed her eyes when someone kissed her, whether she whimpered when someone nibbled her neck, whether she blushed when someone slowly undressed her.

Unnerved by that realization, Steinarius turned his back to Agda and tried to ignore the feelings that were racing through his mind.

Lust, melancholy and some sad memories from his past formed a weird mixture that kept him awake for most of the night. Yet, by the time the first rays of sun finally shone upon the village, the Imperial had finally made up his mind.

He deeply cared about Agda and was ready to do everything to prevent her from falling for the wrong man.


	15. Wintertime sadness

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I start this chapter by thanking all the people who are reading/following/favoriting this story. Of course, I also thank _Guest_ and _flutterchaos_ for their reviews. ****As for Steinarius' name, I hadn't noticed the possible connection between S.C. and "Stormcloak" - I just picked a name that I liked and that could vaguely suit the character ("Steinarius" sounds both Imperial and Nord, whereas Crepusculus means _dusk_ in Latin). Yet, now I wish I'd thought about that coincidence earlier, so that I could have exploited it along the story :P**

 **As for the future, I can only say that the tough days for Agda and Steinarius aren't over, therefore you should probably expect some more chapters filled with violence and gore. Also, the pattern of this fanfic is about to undergo a big change. Unfortunately, since I don't want to spoil the fun, that's all I can say for the moment.**

 **Anyway, back to the new chapter ;) After the fluffiness of New Life Festival, it's time Steinarius got down to business again, leaving poor Agda alone in the cold winter of Skyrim.**

* * *

 **2nd of Morning Star, 4E 202**

The day after New Life Festival started out roughly.

Just like many other people who had slept on the floor on the _Sleeping Giant_ , Agda was awoken by a sudden noise and a loud curse. When she bolted upright and looked around the inn, she realized that Steinarius had tripped over Hadvar and landed first face on the floor. As the other guests muttered some complaints and went back to sleeping, Agda sighed and reached for the clumsy Imperial.

Steinarius had a few bruises on his hands and looked totally mortified by the way he had startled awake half of the population of Riverwood. After the party of the previous evening, most of the villagers had namely decided to spend the night on the floor of the _Sleeping Giant_.

"I'm sorry Hadvar, I'm really sorry", Steinarius told the young soldier he had involuntarily mistaken for a weird, fleshy rug. "I was looking at the fireplace, that's why I didn't see you. Are you alright?"

Hadvar seemed confused by the whole situation. He had a very tousled appearance and clearly needed some more hours of sleep to get past his hangover. However, when he finally realized what Steinarius was telling him, the young soldier muttered that he was fine, then allowed Agda to cast a healing spell on his ribs, which were sore because of their unexpected collision with the Dragonborn's boots. Beside Hadvar, Steinarius seemed unable to stop apologizing.

Before the treatment was over and the tired soldier could go back to sleeping, the door to Delphine's room suddenly burst open. As she abandoned the comfortable bed where she had spent the night, Adaeze looked perfectly sober and relaxed. She was soon followed by Sven, who whispered something in the Redguard's ear and caused her to chuckle. The two of them were wearing only their smallclothes and seemed to ignore the fact that most of the villagers were observing them with curious eyes.

When Adaeze finally realized it, she giggled and tried to cover her bosom with her arms. As soon as her eyes met Hadvar's, however, her amused look immediately disappeared.

The soldier had been taken aback by the unexpected sight of Adaeze's almost naked body. Yet, when he noticed that the girl was with Sven, his surprise was immediately replaced by a strong feeling of disgust.

When Adaeze started muttering an explanation, Hadvar didn't listen: he simply stood up and left the tavern without uttering a single sound. Despite that abrupt leave, Adaeze didn't give up: she ran after the soldier screaming his name and repeating how utterly drunk she'd been on the previous evening.

Agda heard the Redguard's cries, but couldn't make out any answer on Hadvar's part. Nevertheless, when Adaeze returned to the inn, the tears on her face immediately had everyone understand that her friendship with Hadvar was now definitely, hopelessly over.

* * *

The people of Riverwood talked about the tussle between Hadvar and Adaeze for many of the following weeks.

After he left the inn, the soldier headed for Castle Dour without even bidding his family goodbye. Steinarius tried to follow him, but decided to leave the boy be when Hadvar reached for his bow and threatened to use his former captain as a training dummy. When she heard the news, Adaeze broke into tears and threw a bottle of mead at Sven, who had burst into laughter at Hadvar's offended reaction.

Prompted by the Redguard' sobs, Steinarius was quick to kick the bard out of the inn and to ask the remaining guests to leave as well. Always chivalric, the Imperial later took off his cloak and draped it over Adaeze' shoulders, so that the Redguard could enjoy some warmth and cover her body. The girl didn't show any reaction to that kind gesture: she simply kept on sobbing while hiding her face in Agda's chest.

Since Adaeze seemed completely broken by what had just happened, Agda spent most of the day by her side. She tried to soothe her and give her some solace, but the Redguard was unable to stop the tears that were running down her cheeks. Given that Delphine and Esbern had already left for the Reach, in that situation Orgnar could rely only on Steinarius' help to tidy the inn.

After midday, when Adaeze finally ran out of tears, Agda led her to bed and waited for her to fall asleep. As the Redguard sobbingly drifted into Vaermina's realm, the young innkeeper felt relieved and headed for the main hall, where she was greeted by Orgnar's exhausted expression.

"I've just sent your friend to chop off some wood", the usually phlegmatic Nord told her with a snort. "He may be a good warrior, but he has no idea how to deal with a broomstick".

Fighting the urge to chuckle, Agda told Orgnar that he could enjoy some well-deserved hours of rest too. She then cast a few spells to clean the floor of the inn and wash the many dirty tankards scattered all over the place. Despite her origins, Agda could luckily rely on a very impressive amount of magicka.

When the sun set, Steinarius finally returned to the tavern. He was covered in sweat and kept a heavy pile of chopped wood in his arms.

As she noticed how proud he looked, Agda felt her heart swell with tenderness and had to fight the urge to hug him.

* * *

While they had dinner, Agda and Steinarius could enjoy the perfect silence that was reigning in the inn. Since both Orgnar and Adaeze were still resting, the two of them were the only people in the main hall.

"The townsfolks are still getting past their hangovers, that's why no one else is here", Agda explained. "Moreover, I think that the villagers are now afraid of Adaeze. She has a very good aim: I hadn't expected her to hit Sven right in the head with that bottle".

Steinarius absent-mindedly nodded, then let out a sigh. At that point, Agda realized that something was bothering him.

"It wasn't your fault if Hadvar left", she told him after he sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "It was dangerous to follow him. And then, he has to solve this problem with Adaeze, not with you".

"I'm not thinking about Hadvar", Steinarius murmured with another sigh. "I'm just trying to find the guts to leave this place and head for Alduin's Wall".

Agda was taken aback by that comment. There she was, thinking about a childish tussle between two people who weren't even a couple, whereas Steinarius was facing the problems connected with being the prophesized savior of Nirn.

"You don't have to leave", she told him after a brief moment of silence. "I know that Delphine and Esbern left during the night, but you can spend some more days here in Riverwood. You could enjoy some time off and…"

"Agda, I don't get to have _some time off_ ", Steinarius said with a low and depressed tone. Rather than angry, he sounded simply sad. "A few minutes ago, while you were checking on Adaeze, a guard entered the inn and told me that a dragon killed two people in Karthwasten. I could have avoided it, had I been less selfish".

"Steinarius, you can't prevent the dragons from attacking the villages. You're only human and…"

"That's the rub, Agda", the man gently interrupted her. "I'm not _only human_ – on the contrary, I'm the only one who can kill dragons for good. Given this skill of mine, I should look for those beasts and slay them before they get too dangerous, rather than relaxing in an inn. There's also something else that bothers me: right as we're speaking, Alduin is growing stronger and stronger. I've already lost enough time and I can't afford myself any more idle days. I'm leaving within the hour".

Agda looked at Steinarius' troubled expression, at his tired eyes, at the way his right foot was nervously tapping against the floor. It was strange to think that a few hours earlier that very same man was enjoying a perfect winter night together with her.

With a sigh, the Imperial stood up from his chair and placed his empty bowl of stew on the counter of the inn. He then reached for his room and started preparing for the upcoming journey.

Through the open doors Agda could watch as Steinarius put on his cuirass, as he carefully prepared his knapsack, as he draped a heavy scarf around his neck. When he finally took his sword and strapped it to his waist, the girl felt heavy tears welling up in her eyes.

"You could leave tomorrow morning", she said while fighting the urge to cry. "It is dark outside and…"

Agda didn't finish the sentence. There was a lump in her throat that had her choke on the words and hide her face in her hands. As soon as the first tears escaped her control, the young innkeeper sighed and cursed her damned sensibility.

When Steinarius realized that Agda was crying, he didn't say anything: he just walked up to her and hugged her. He held her close to his chest, then he softly kissed her temple.

"I don't know why I'm crying", Agda sheepishly admitted.

"It's alright, Agds", Steinarius kindly reassurred her. Without breaking their hug, the Imperial forced a sad smile to appear on his lips. "You know, I'll miss you a lot over the next few weeks. You're the only person in Tamriel who doesn't see me as a legend or sends me on dangerous errands just for the sake of ordering me around - and I definitely have to thank you for that, Agda. When I'm with you, I always feel like an ordinary man should".

As the Dragonborn spoke, Agda sighed.

Despite being an Imperial, Steinarius was much taller than her; therefore, at that moment the girl was resting her head in the crook of his neck while keeping her hands on his chest. In that position Agda could feel Steinarius' caresses along her spine, his steady heartbeat under her fingertips, the way his breath softly tickled her forehead.

Thinking that one day Steinarius' heart and breathing could stop while he was trying to save the world made her want to scream a nasty string of insults towards the Divines.

"I'm just a stupid girl", Agda muttered when she eventually managed to steady her voice. "This must be very hard for you, and I'm behaving like a child and making everything even worse. I didn't mean to burst into tears, I really didn't".

"You were influenced by Adaeze", Steinarius joked. "She's cried on your shoulder for the whole morning, therefore it's normal for you to feel on edge. By the way, Agda, I don't want you to be sad because of me. Dragons are big and dangerous and ugly, but I'm not an easy prey".

When he realized that Agda still looked rather unsettled, Steinarius jokingly pinched her cheek.

"Come on, girl, give me a smile", he told her with a light smirk.

The Imperial waited until Agda obliged, then hugged her again and tenderly kissed the top of her head. They remained like that for what felt like centuries, both sad and worried and hoping they could change their destiny. Eventually, Steinarius found the strength to break the embrace, grab his knapsack and leave Riverwood for good.

As he disappeared into the night, Agda felt much sadder than she'd ever had. Moreover, she deeply wished she'd done something to show Steinarius how much she cared about him.

* * *

Spurred by the overwhelming shame she felt for her tussle with Hadvar, Adaeze left Riverwood a few hours after Steinarius. As a consequence, Agda soon found herself alone in the little village.

The girl quickly resumed her usual routine, but in few weeks time she started to grow restless. After all she'd been through with Steinarius and the Thalmors, Agda now felt as though her life had sunk into a deep hole made of boredom and dullness and loneliness, a hole where every day was just like the previous one and where nothing interesting ever happened.

As the days became weeks and the weeks became months, the girl realized that she missed Adaeze, that she missed Hadvar, that she even missed Delphine. Her two friends were both too ashamed to return to Riverwood, whereas her former employer had abandoned her to Orgnar's maddening silences. As for Steinarius, Agda had no idea what he was up to and could only rely on the rumors her patrons eagerly exchanged. The night she heard about the Dragonborn's alleged friendship with the Thalmor, however, Agda lost it: she accused the customers of being liars, ordered Sven to stop playing horrible songs about the savior of Skyrim, then hid in her room and started sobbing like a baby.

She felt as though the dullness was making her lose her mind, but couldn't find a way out of the calm life she was slowly growing to hate.

In those long winter months, Agda's only solace came from the spell books Lucan had taken to sell in his shop. They were heavy, dusty tomes with an unpleasant damp smell and lots of stains on their covers. Lucan bought them from the few people who dared trekking through the Nordic ruins of the Hold and was always eager to sell this kind of merchandising to Agda. The Imperial was a strange man, but he was a honest trader: he always offered the girl good deals and never took advantage of her newly found passion for magic.

During her first winter in Skyrim, Agda spent most of the nights awake, reading and studying and practising the spells described by her books. She already knew basic Destruction magic, just like she knew some Restoration spells; yet, thanks to her newly found passion, Agda soon tried her hand at Alteration, Illusion and Conjuration, too. She was a fast learner and was very surprised the first time she effortlessly managed to summon a familiar.

Unfortunately, not even magic could make Agda feel better. After all, there were no spells that could show her whether Steinarius was fine, just like there were no spells that could allow her to go back in time and place a passionate kiss on his lips before he left Riverwood for good.


	16. Dark wings

**Author's note:**

 **First things first: a huge _thank you_ to all the wonderful people who are following/favoriting/reading this story. You really are amazing! **

**Of course, I also thank _flutterchaos_ for their review, which made me chuckle just like the previous one. I must admit that I quite like Steinarius, so I think he'll stick around for some more time ;) By the way, I must warn you: I'm not a fan of happy endings, therefore you should definitely expect some more tragedy and torture and angst over the course of this story.**

 **A huge _thank you_ also goes to Elspeth: it's always nice to read reviews from people who have just started reading the story! Moreover, I'm glad you're enjoying this fanfic and the developing relationship between Agda and Steinarius :)**

 **Back to business: you all remember the cozy little scene from the prologue, do you? If not, it means that it's high time I reminded you about it - and this chapter gives me the perfect chance to do that.**

* * *

 **7th of First Seed, 4E 202**

Ever since Helgen, some towns had proven to be particularly vulnerable to dragon attacks. Windhelm and Falkreath, for example, were believed to be among the beasts' favourite places, just like Winterhold and Morthal. Riverwood, instead, was considered relatively safe – or, at least, it was considered relatively safe until a tragic afternoon at the beginning of spring.

It'd been months since Agda last saw Steinarius. Over those long, dull weeks, the girl had learned to stake the thoughts regarding the Imperial in a hidden corner of her mind. That afternoon, however, as Sven entered the tavern and screamed something about a dragon flying towards Riverwood, the young innkeeper deeply wished that the Dragonborn were by her side.

Spurred by the bard's alarmed cries, Agda and Orgnar immediately left the _Sleeping_ _Giant_. The building wasn't safe at all: it was highly flammable and, had the dragon decided to land on its roof, it would have surely collapsed under his weight. Nonetheless, the two innkeepers didn't leave their tavern just because they wanted to find a better shelter - on the contrary, they left because they wanted to help the townsfolks during the fight with the beast.

As Agda reached the main street of Riverwood, she noticed that Sigrid was running for Whiterun together with her daughter and Gerdur' son, who was desperately crying out for his mum. Despite her worries, Gerdur had grabbed a bow and looked ready to defend her lumber mill and her village from the upcoming threat.

As she watched the resolute look on the Nord's face, Agda felt a rush of adrenaline run through her veins. She wasn't an archer, but over the previous months she had become very good at magic.

It was now time she put her long, sleepless nights of study to good use.

* * *

When the dragon came closer, the people of Riverwood could finally take a good look at the legendary beast.

Their enemy was a huge bronzed creature, with lethal razor-sharp claws and powerful wings. As they saw him, the inhabitants of the village didn't even flinch – on the contrary, they simply steadied the grip on their weapons and got into a fighting stance.

Agda had never been a brave woman, but the behavior of her friends awoke her primal Nord instincts. Therefore, as all the other people of Riverwood reached for their bows, she was quick to summon a Frost Atronach and ready the strongest destruction spell she knew.

Unfortunately, despite the villagers' good intentions, the fight soon proved to be uneven. One of the hunters who usually roamed around Lake Ilinalta was killed by the first wave of fire coming from the dragon, whereas two of the townguards were incinerated few minutes later. Despite those tragic losses, the people of Riverwood stood their ground.

Although Lucan Valerius had run for the mountains immediately after the appearance of the beast, his sister Camilla didn't abandon the village for the whole fight. Hilde shouted insults at the huge dragon, while Sven and Faendal forgot their eternal arguments to face the common threat together. Gerdur, Hod and Alvor were fighting like sabre-cats in order to give their children the time to reach Whiterun, whereas Embry and Orgnar were proving to be quite good archers.

During the fight, Agda fell into a weird sort of routine: she would cast a spell towards the dragon, then she would find shelter behind the lumber mill. The girl could feel the ashy scent coming from the creature, the power he radiated, the sickening smell of burnt flesh and sweat and blood that was now reigning in Riverwood. Despite the tiredness, even when the last standing townguard was killed, Agda never faltered.

Eventually, as the dragon landed on the roof of the lumber mill, Agda was forced to give all she could for the safety of her village. She summoned another Frost Atronach, then she ran out of her hiding with a strong ice spell in her hands.

The dragon seemed amused by that little girl who was facing him with such bluntness. He said something in his ancient language, then he opened his fangs. As soon as he did, Agda' spell hit him right in the mouth and prevented the fire from leaving his throat. Angered by that trick, the beast abandoned the lumber mill and resumed flying over the village. He was now set to destroy those arrogant humans who'd dared to oppose him.

When the dragon let out a loud roar, Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine. With a sudden feeling of nausea, the young innkeeper realized that she'd just managed to make the beast even angrier.

As he starting flying around in circles, the dragon spat a huge column of fire towards the sky. Yet, after a few seconds of that display of power, the beast unexpectedly stopped moving and tilted his head towards south. A second later, he immediately headed for Helgen, leaving the people of Riverwood alone. Spurred by that apparent retreat, the villagers were quick to follow him.

As the dragon disappeared behind the tall trees, Agda rubbed her eyes in order to check whether she was dreaming. Not only was she perfectly awake - it aso looked as though the dragon had decided to abandon Riverwood for good.

As Agda realized it, the exhaustion and the relief had her drop on her knees and burst into a long, hysterical laughter.

* * *

Agda's amusement didn't last long. As she heard the sounds of a distant battle, the girl immediately remembered the death of the townguards and of the hunter who usually roamed around Riverwood. Zakar, Pablus, Kael and Rakkus were among her favourite customers, therefore Agda felt as though she'd just lost four friends.

As the girl stood up, she realized that Hilde had an injured arm, whereas Camilla Valerius had broken into a nervous cry. Since the dragon seemed gone for good and the _Sleeping Giant_ hadn't reported any damage, Agda was quick to lead the two women inside the inn, where she immediately started to take care of them.

Half an hour later, when the doors to the tavern burst open, Agda expected a group of very grim townsfolks to make their appearance. She was therefore taken aback when she realized that Alvor and Hod were carrying a consciousless warrior with a mane of red hair and a vast burning on his leg – and she was even more shocked when Orgnar, Sven and a very battered Steinarius immediately followed suit.

The young innkeeper motioned for the injured warriors to be taken to Delphine's former room. As she grabbed some healing potions, she noticed that Steinarius was muttering some incoherent words in a language she couldn't understand.

"What happened?", Agda asked as she made her way towards the injured fighters.

"A dragon attacked Riverwood, then left", Orgnar calmly told her.

Confronted by the Nord's phlegmatic answer, Agda felt the urge to roll her eyes.

"That much I knew. What happened _then_?"

"The beast attacked Steinarius and his companion. The Imperial has killed the dragon and absorbed his soul".

Agda cursed. _Everyone in Riverwood had just found about the Dragonborn_. Yet, before the girl could analyze the consequences of that discovery, a very angry Sven appeared by her side.

"Yuor friend is freaking out", the bard hastily said. "You'd better check on him".

Agda immediately obliged. When she reached the room where Steinarius and the other warrior had been brought, she couldn't believe her eyes.

The red-haired boy was still unconscious. Alvor had taken off his armor, so that Agda could have a clear view of the burnings that marred his chest, his right leg, his arms. The skin over there was black and surrounded by nasty blisters. Steinarius, on the other hand, was an entirely different matter.

Hod was wrestling to keep him still, but the Imperial kept on squirming and cursing and yelling.

"You're hurt, for Talos' sake, can't you see?", Gerdur's husband hissed.

Steinarius simply ignored those words. He was completely out of himself: his eyes were wide with fear, his chest was heaving fast, his mouth was babbling a series of illogical sentences.

Worried by that fact, Agda decided to run by his side and calm him with a spell. When Steinarius saw her, he immediately grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You have to save him, Agda. You have to save him, do you understand? If you don't save him, I'll…"

"Steinarius, calm down", the innkeeper told him. "Are you talking about this boy? Who is he?"

The Imperial said something that Agda didn't understand, then mentioned the name _Erik_. He tried to get up from the bed, but Hod held him down once again. A second later, Sven tried to pin Steinarius' legs to the mattress, so that the Imperial could stop kicking like crazy. Meanwhile, Alvor examined the conditions of the other warrior.

"We'll have to fetch Danica Pure-Spring", he said. "I've never seen such bad injuries".

Agda agreed: she was a decent healer, but she had no idea what to do with poor Erik's burnings.

Yet, before the girl could speak her mind on the matter, Steinarius started screaming once again.

"You have to save him, Agda, you have to save him! I promised his father that Erik would be safe with me, I promised him he would be safe. His father! I promised his father that…"

"For Talos' sake, does he ever shut up?", Hod complained.

Steinarius seemed offended by that remark.

"You don't know how it feels to lose a son", he said, his voice broken by a lump in his throat. "You don't know how it feels to lose a son and I hope you'll never find out. You don't know how it feels to lose a son and…"

The Imperial didn't finish the sentence: as Sven gave him a strong blow to the temple, he immediately slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

By the time Agda left Delphine's room, it was well past midnight.

As a punishment for his behavior, Sven had been sent to Whiterun to fetch Danica Pure-Spring, so that the experienced healer could help Erik with his injuries. Unfortunately, the priestess was temporarily in Rorikstead to help a woman with the birth of her child; therefore, Agda had been forced to take care of the red-haired warrior on her own.

It had been a very long day and the girl had often thought that Erik was about to die. Nevertheless, thanks to a huge amount of potions and healing spells, the warrior was now feeling better – his breathing had returned calm, his pulse was regular, his skin had regained its natural pink shade. He was still unconscious, but Agda thought that he was now out of danger.

Steinarius hadn't regained consciousness either. Sven had been very brutal to him and had left a big mark on his temple. Nonetheless, the Imperial had no other injury aside from that bluish bruise on his face.

"Do you remember what he said this afternoon?", Sven asked Agda.

The bard had come back from Whiterun in the late evening and was now enjoying a warm supper in the _Sleeping Giant_.

"Aye", Agda sighed as she answered Sven's question. "He said something about a promise".

" _And_ a lost son. Do you think he was talking out of experience?"

Agda snorted.

"Steinarius doesn't have a wife, let alone a child".

"You don't need a wife to have a son", Sven pointed out with a shrug. "Maybe Steinarius got a random girl pregnant and they later decided to keep the baby without getting married. After all, there are many former Companions who have illegitimate sons all over the country".

Agda shook her head. She couldn't imagine Steinarius getting a random girl pregnant - he was clumsy, sure, but not _that_ clumsy. Yet, as Sven asked her what she knew about the time Steinarius had spent in Jorrvaskr, Agda frowned. _Nothing at all,_ she realized with a startle; whereas his friend often chatted about his childhood or his time in the Legion, he never talked about his life with the Companions.

Out of the blue, Agda randomly thought about the way Steinarius had tried to kill her. She had seen how dangerous the Imperial could be when he lost his temper - and newborn babies definitely had the ability to stretch people's patience to their limits.

 _What if Steinarius had really had a child from a random girl? And what if he was kicked out of the Companions because he hurt his son and his woman?_

Horrified by those thoughts, Agda immediately locked them in a hidden corner of her mind. She couldn't imagine Steinarius hurting a child, let alone _his_ child.

"Steinarius wasn't talking out of experience", she claimed after Sven had been ranting about the matter for almost an hour. "And now I'd be glad if we could talk about something else".

Yet, even when the bard obliged, Agda couldn't stop thinking about Steinarius' confused words.

For some reasons, the thought of the Imperial being a father didn't feel right to her. There were two children in Riverwood, Dorthe and Frodnar, but Steinarius had never given them any attention. Sure, he had danced with the little girl on New Life Festival and had once gone fishing with Frodnar and his father, but that was all.

 _If Steinarius had lost a son, shouldn't he look upset when he was around other children?_

When Sven left the inn, Agda could finally think her questions over and over again. Yet, as she went to check on Erik, the girl was forced to set her thoughts about Steinarius aside.

The red-haired warrior was covered in sweat and wore a very pained expression. When Agda touched his forehead, she realized that he was burning with fever.

Worried by that fact, Agda hastily fetched a potion against diseases. It seemed that Erik had come down with Bone Break Fever, a very dangerous illness that required a lot of cures.

As soon as he gulped the potion Agda had just poured into his mouth, the consciousless warrior regained part of his health. Nonetheless, the young innkeeper didn't feel relieved by that light improvement: whoever came down with Bone Break Fever needed a curing vial once every two hours and risked to die if the necessary potions weren't provided.

If she wanted Erik to survive, Agda had to do everything she could to give him the assistance he needed.

With a tired sigh, the young innkeeper examined the alchemy ingredients displayed next to her lab. As she did, her face immediately went blank. Agda had everything she needed to heal burnings and fractures, but had just run out of curing potions - and without those vials, Erik's life was in great danger.

Trying to keep her fears in check, Agda thought about the places where she could get the potions she needed to help the redhead with his disease.

When they'd seen how badly Erik had been injured, the people of Riverwood had given Agda all the vials and ingredients they had at home; given that fact, the villagers clearly couldn't do anything else to help. There was an alchemy shop in Whiterun, but the journey there and back usually took about three hours - and Erik couldn't resist such a long time without drinking another potion.

With a shiver, Agda realized that she had no choice apart from brewing the necessary vial herself. The girl already had some mudcrab chitin, but she didn't know where to find charred skeever hide, vampire dust or hawk feathers. Without those ingredients, preparing a potion against diseases was simply impossible.

In an attempt to concentrate and find a solution, Agda massaged her temples with her long fingers. After a few minutes, she remembered about Anise's cabin, the little shack where Steinarius had told her he was the Dragonborn. There was an alchemy lab in the building and Agda was sure she'd seen some hawk feathers in a satchel nearby.

Spurred by urgency, the girl immediately grabbed her cloak and went for the door.

There was no time to lose: if she didn't want Erik to risk his life, Agda needed to reach Anise's cabin as soon as possible.

And if she wanted to reach the place as soon as possible, she had to go there herself.


	17. Full moon

**Author's note:**

 **I wasn't planning to post anything else until next week, but then I realized that my few, faithful readers probably deserve a little Christmas present ;) Hence, here you are with a new chapter and my best wishes for the upcoming holidays.**

 **As usual, I sent a heartfelt _thank you_ to everyone who's reading/following/favoriting this story. ****Of course, I also thank Elspeth for their review. I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter and I hope you'll like this action-packed instalment, too.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

As Agda left the safety of the inn, she firmly believed she could reach Anise's cabin without problems. The fight of the afternoon had refueled her courage and awoken her Nordic pride, so that the young innkeeper now felt perfectly capable of tackling the wilds on her own.

After the events of that long day, the people of Riverwood had already fallen asleep. As Agda left the village, Orgnar was quietly snoring in his bedroom, whereas Sven had retired to his house to look after his mother. Lucan and Camilla had barricaded themselves inside their shop, while Faendal was the only one careful enough to keep watch on the border of the village. Gerdur, Alvor and Hod, on the other hand, had gone to Whiterun to tell the Jarl about the dragon's attack. Given that Dorthe and Frodnar had been terrified by the sudden appearance of the beast, their parents had decided to spend the night in the city, where their children were feeling much safer. As a consequence, that evening Riverwood was almost completely empty.

When she noticed Faendal patrolling the main road, Agda hid in the shadows. Frowning, she drank an invisibility potion and sneaked out of the village without anyone noticing her. The girl was sure she could reach Anise's cabin and be back within the hour- unfortunately, she soon realized that she had put too much trust in her luck.

As she reached the big dragon skeleton in the middle of the southern road, Agda noticed that a few men were seizing up the remains of the beast and arguing about selling the bones to a nearby shop. Judging from their looks, those warriors were probably related to the bandits who dwelled in Embershard Mine.

When she heard their voices, Agda had to do her best to suppress a shiver and go on with her plan. _I can do this_ , she thought to herself. _I have to do this. For Erik, and for Steinarius too_.

Agda hadn't forgotten the way the Imperial had begged her to save his friend; therefore, she was ready to go miles to prevent Erik from risking his life.

As she noticed that the bandits were standing right in front of the Guardian Stones, the young innkeeper furrowed her brow. She was hidden in the shadows, therefore the criminals still hadn't been able to spot her. Unfortunately, Agda needed to bypass them in order to reach her destination.

While trying to slow down her heartbeat, the young woman carefully moved towards the bank of the White River. Once there, Agda crouched and slowly got past the point where the bandits were standing. When she understood that the criminals hadn't noticed her, the innkeeper felt a huge wave of relief wash over her. With a satisfied smile, Agda later straightened her spine and started walking across the forest that stretched along the shores of Lake Ilinalta. It was a wonderful spring night and the young innkeeper soon found herself admiring the beauty of Skyrim.

The winter snow had melted over the previous days, so that the soil of the forest was still wet and smelled like earth. The twin moons were shining on the tall pine trees, whereas a nightingale was singing from the shadows. As she left the shore of the lake, Agda felt as though she was living in a dream. When she reached a road she had never seen before, however, the young innkeeper stopped contemplanting the landscape and focused once again on her mission.

With a curse, she realized she had just got lost in the wilds.

* * *

As soon as she stopped insulting herself, Agda tried to understand what had gone wrong. She was sure she'd followed the right direction and couldn't understand why she had ended up in a place that clearly had nothing to do with Anise's cabin.

Agda would have liked to use her newly acquired magical skills to find her destination, but she knew that the magic paths traced by Clairvoyance spells would have caused every creature nearby to notice her presence. Therefore, although that part of Skyrim seemed completely safe, the girl decided to rely only on her instincts.

With a sigh, the young innkeeper turned her back to the road and ventured once again in the forest. She'd been walking for a few minutes when she caught a glimpse of a very weird scene.

In a clearing not far from Agda, two human forms were entangled. One of them, a woman, was lying on the grass. The other, a man, was leaning down to kiss her.

Agda was startled by that sight. _Who could be so mad to couple in the forests of Skyrim in the middle of the night?_ , she wondered while raising an eyebrow.

However, when the woman didn't betray any emotion at being passionately kissed on the neck, Agda realized that the people in front of her _weren't_ imaginative lovers looking for a thrill in the wilds – they were something completely different.

As the man slowly straightened his spine, Agda could see the unsettling paleness of his face, which shone in the darkness like a full moon. There was something dark around his mouth – something that the young girl immediately recognized as blood.

That weird creature wasn't a passionate lover who was making love to his woman – quite on the contrary, it was a vampire who was feeding on his prey.

With a shiver, Agda took a few steps backwards. The vampire still hadn't seen her, therefore she believed she had enough time to get away from that clearing, to find shelter behind a bush or a tree or a cabin like Anise's. She just needed to be…

 _Careful_.

As Agda stumbled on a tree root and fell to the ground, the word mockingly echoed in her head. Startled by that noise, the vampire stood up and abandoned the lifeless woman he'd just fed on. A second later, he grinned.

He had just seen Agda.

* * *

When the creature cast a spell in her direction, Agda miracolously managed to dodge the attack. She got back on her feet, then she started running like a mad woman.

Agda felt a branch open a deep cut in her cheek, she felt the unsettling laughter of the vampire behind her, she felt the way her lungs shuddered with every intake of air, in and out, in and out, until she couldn't take it anymore.

Her foot collided with a fallen tree and Agda found herself once again on the cold ground of the forest. This time, unfortunately, her enemy was much closer.

The young innkeeper could do nothing but watch as the vampire closed in on her. Agda noticed his red eyes, his pale complexion, the fresh blood that was still dripping from his fangs. She could feel the vampire's gaze on her body and was shivering violently at the thought of what was about to happen.

With the sheer force of desperation, Agda closed her eyes and cast a weak spell towards the undead. There was a laugh, then a few scornful words reached the girl's ears. Nonetheless, Agda didn't catch their meaning – all she could focus on at that moment was the deadly stench reeking from the vampire, the way his hands had just grabbed her leg, the way the creature was yanking her towards him.

In a weak attempt to save her life, Agda took hold of a tree and tried to resist the force of her attacker. After a few seconds, however, she realized that the fight was uneven.

When the vampire laughed again, Agda felt tired and scared and vulnerable. As she let go of the tree root, she muttered a prayer to the Divines and inwardly cursed her imprudence – because of her decision to venture in the woods alone, Erik would probably succumb to his disease.

As Agda prepared for feeling the vampire's fangs against the delicate skin of her neck, she tried not to think about her parents, about her siblings, about the life she was about to leave behind. She tried not to think about the dragons, about Steinarius, about Erik, about…

All of a sudden, Agda heard a sudden noise and noticed that the vampire had let go of her leg. As she turned to look at him, the girl let out a surprised scream.

Her attacker was fighting against the hugest wolf the young innkeeper had ever seen.

* * *

The vampire had been taken aback by the unexpected appearance of the wolf - after receiving a particularly strong bite, he even lost his balance and fell to the ground. Nonetheless, when the animal jumped over him, the vampire was quick to stab it once, twice, thrice, causing the wolf to let out a pained whine. Yet, right when the undead seemed about to get back on his feet and win the fight, a loud snap echoed through the forest.

With a last, desperate bite, the wolf had managed to kill the vampire by breaking his neck.

Agda had no time to feel relieved – caught between a hungry vampire and a huge wolf, she didn't know which creature could offer her the least painful death.

With a scared cry, the young innkeeper tried to run away from the animal. Nevertheless, she stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she heard a series of low whimpers. When she turned her head, Agda realized that the huge wolf was standing on its rear legs and was looking at her with its huge, golden eyes.

Only then did Agda realize that she was dealing with a werewolf.

* * *

With another whine, the creature took a tentative step in the girl's direction. Agda noticed that it had a very light grey coat and that its left arm ( _did werewolves even have arms?_ ) was completely covered in blood.

The creature was wounded – deeply, painfully wounded.

Agda didn't know why she didn't run away. There was something familiar in the way the werewolf was looking at her, in the way it was whimpering, in the way it was silently asking for her help. Agda could swear she had already seen its sad golden eyes before, but she couldn't remember where.

Hoping that the werewolf was rational enough not to attack her, the girl slowly walked towards it. The creature whined again, then crouched on the ground. A moment later, it closed its eyes and suddenly went still.

Agda was worried by that fact. She reached the werewolf, then carefully touched its pelt. It was soft and warm and had a good earthy smell. Before the girl could cast a healing spell, however, something weird happened.

Agda couldn't stifle a surprised cry as the body of the werewolf started shaking. Its claws and its pelt disappeared, whereas its fangs retreated inside its mouth. There was a last violent spasm and the werewolf finally shifted back to its human form.

When she recognized Steinarius, Agda felt as though her heart had just stopped beating.


	18. Venom

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, I send a huge _thank you_ to xXElspethXx for taking the time to create an account and immediately favoriting this story. I am truly amazed by your support :) Also, I'm happy to know that my writing is improving and that the previous chapter provided you with a nice surprise. **

**As usual, I also thank all the other people who are reading/following/favoriting this story. You really are the best!**

 **This chapter has a warning for language, minor sexual references and graphic description of injuries. Nonetheless, I hope you'll enjoy it.**

* * *

 **8th of First Seed, 4E 202**

As she looked at the man who was lying on the grass right in front of her eyes, Agda felt the urge to burst into an hysterical laughter. Not only was Steinarius a werewolf – at that moment, he was also unconscious, injured and completely covered in blood. On top of that, he was also stark naked. Agda had often thought – or, better, _dreamed_ \- of seeing Steinarius naked, but none of her late-night phantasies had ever involved unconsciousness, mutants or random trips in the wilds.

In an attempt to force her brain to work _with_ her rather than _against_ her, the girl slowly crouched beside Steinarius. The Imperial was lying on his stomach and had a lot of blood all over his arms, his neck and his back. It was difficult to understand where the red substance was coming from and it was even more difficult to understand how the man was doing.

Furrowing her brow, Agda reached for Steinarius' neck and tentatively looked for his pulse line. The girl knew lots of legends about werewolves and honestly didn't know what to expect once the Imperial regained consciousness. Yet, despite the many horror tales she'd heard, Agda was keen on doing whatever she could to take care of Steinarius.

When she finally found his pulse line, Agda tried to examine the man's conditions. Her fingers were now slick with his blood, but the girl couldn't care less – at that moment, the only thing that mattered was the way the Imperial's heart was steadily beating under her fingertips.

Reassured by the fact that Steinarius' vital signs seemed strong enough for him to survive, Agda cast a spell to clean his body from the blood. When she discovered that the Dragonborn had three nasty gashes in his left arms, the girl used the sleeve of her dress to create a makeshift bandage, which she later applied to the wounds. At that point, Agda took off her cloak and neatly wrapped it around Steinarius's body. The air was very chilly and the young innkeeper clearly didn't want her rescuer to come down with an illness to match his injuries.

That thought brought Agda on the verge of tears. Steinarius really was her rescuer: had it not been for him, she would have surely been killed – or, worse, she would have been turned into a vampire.

Moved by that thought, Agda tenderly stroked the man's hair. Werewolves were said to kill whoever discovered their secret, but the young Nord was set to remain with his friend and do whatever she could to heal him.

"Hold on, Stein", she softly whispered in his ear. "I'll get you back to Riverwood, I promise you I will".

In the attempt to make the Imperial more comfortable, Agda reached for the remains of the vampire. She got hold of his robes and used them to cover Steinarius' legs, then she summoned a Flame Atronach. As the creature kept guard over the Imperial, Agda walked towards the woman the vampire had fed upon. She was a Breton in her twenties and, by the time the vampire had seen Agda, she had already been killed.

With a shiver, the young innkeeper examined the woman's features and quickly ran through her belongings. She soon realized that the cloak around the Breton' shoulders and the miraculously ushattered healing potion in her pocket were going to be of great use to Steinarius.

While trying to ignore the uneasiness she was feeling in her bones, Agda closed the glassy eyes of the woman and returned to her friend. The girl felt really uncomfortable about stealing the Breton's belongings, but she knew that the unlucky huntress was no longer going to need them.

As she walked back to Steinarius, Agda hastily planned her next moves. She wanted to carry Steinarius towards the shores of Lake Ilinalta, which was very famous for the high number of hunters that roamed its shores. Once there, the girl would try and find someone willing to help her. At that point, Agda would ask her rescuer to lead Steinarius back to Riverwood, whereas she would go back in the forest and look for the ingredients she needed to save Erik's life. Agda hadn't forgotten the reason why she'd left Riverwood and was willing to go miles to prevent the redhaired warrior from succumbing to his fever.

Nonetheless, as the girl reached the point where Steinarius was laying, she soon realized that she couldn't put her messy plans to good use. During her absence, Steinarius' breathing had namely become much shallower, whereas his heartbeat had become weaker. Moreover, the bandages on his arm had got drenched in blood, while his body was now burning with fever.

Agda was shocked by the sudden aggravation of Steinarius' conditions. As she tried to ice his forehead with a spell, she used her free hand to examine his left arm. The gashes left by the vampire's dagger were still bleeding and had become completely black. When she noticed it, Agda realized that Steinarius had probably been poisoned.

In an attempt to find out more about the venom used by the vampire, Agda reached once again for the ashen remains of the undead. She rummaged through them until she found the dagger wielded by the creature, then she immediately went back to Steinarius.

In a weak attempt to find out more about the venom used by the vampire, Agda slowly ran her hand over the blade of his dagger. Although she was careful not to break the skin, the girl soon felt a stinging in the palm of her hand. At that point, she frowned. The smell coming from the weapon revealed that the vampire had drenched it in nightshade essence, a potentially lethal substance. The stinging, however, came from a mixture of silver powder and vampire fangs, a very rare couple of ingredients.

While she was carefully studying the substance that had been smeared along the blade, Agda heard a weak noise that resembled the crackling of a tree branch under someone's foot. Alerted by that fact, the girl readied a destruction spell and prepared to cast it.

When a human form finally emerged from the bushes around her, however, Agda immediatey realized that there was no need to fight.

The newcomer was an old Nord with a long white beard and a bow in his hands. He looked very worried, but his brow relaxed as soon as he caught a glimpse of the terrified girl who was standing right in front of his eyes.

To him, Agda probably looked like an innocent damsel in distress.

"What's going on here?", the hunter asked with a suspicious tone.

"I was taking a walk with my friend", Agda said while trying to make up a decent explanation. "Unfortunately, he got hurt".

As soon as he noticed the unconscious Imperial at his feet, the hunter frowned. He slowly approached Steinarius, then he removed the clothes covering his back. When he realized that he was naked, the Nord snorted.

"I really can't understand you younglings", the hunter more or less barked. "Always looking for thrills, even when you're fucking. When did a good old rut in a comfortable bed become boring?"

When the Nord freely spoke his mind, Agda blushed. As a very explicit image of herself and Steinarius ran through her mind – an image that didn't involve any clothing, any forest and any blood, but actually included a nice bed and some inappropriate activities -, she realized she had to do everything she could to get the hunter to help her.

"We were taking a walk when a vampire showed up", Agda lied while intentionally avoiding any detailled explanation as to why she and Steinarius were out in the wilds in the middle of the night. "I'm afraid that my friend might have been poisoned".

"You mean _your_ _boyfriend_ , girl", the hunter said. "Unless you're one to sleep with every breathing creature that walks by".

Agda fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"The point is, this man is injured", she insisted with a slightly annoyed tone. "He's been poisoned and I can't stop the bleeding in his arm. He needs help. _We_ need help.".

The hunter looked at Agda for what felt like centuries. At last, he sighed.

"I've set camp not far from here, on the shores of Lake Ilinalta. I'll bring you there and fetch a healer. By the way, girl, next time you venture in the woods, make sure to carry some weapons and wear an armor. I don't know how you managed to deal with a vampire, but remember that you won't always be so lucky".

As the man talked to her, Agda felt the sharp claws of shame and regret cut through her mind. Nonetheless, the girl had no time to feel guilty: to her, the only things that mattered were saving Steinarius from the poison and finding a way to help Erik with his disease.

* * *

Half an hour later, Agda was carefully looking through the alchemy ingredients displayed in Anise's cabin. She'd brought Steinarius to the hunter's camp by using a telekinesis spell, then she'd asked the Nord whether he could tell her how to reach Anise's place. Luckily enough, the hunter had immediately pointed her in the right direction.

As she set to work at the alchemy lab in Anise's cellar, Agda sighed. During the quick journey to the hunter's camp, Steinarius' conditions had got even worse than before. Agda had forced him to gulp a healing potion, but the effects had been irrelevant. If she wanted Steinarius to feel better, she absolutely had to create an antidote against the vampire's venom.

As she mixed a few rare ingredients, Agda sincerely hoped that her alchemy skills were as good as she believed them to be.

* * *

Although the cloudy sky wouldn't show it, Agda realized that it was almost dawn. A soft rain soon began to fall on Lake Ilinalta, so that the girl had to find shelter under a little wooden structure at the corner of the hunter's camp. As she did, she rubbed her tired eyes and let out a sigh.

The hunter who had helped her had left for Riverwood more than a hour earlier, leaving the girl alone with Steinarius. The owner of the camp came across like a very surly man, but he was actually very kind-hearted: he'd allowed the Imperial to rest in his tent, he had covered him up with his best furs, then he'd taken it upon himself to deliver the curing potions Agda had brewed for Erik.

The girl had a lot of trust in the hunter who had saved her; as a consequence, she was sure that he would make it to Riverwood on time to help Erik with his disease. After delivering the potions, the man would come back to the camp and help her carry Steinarius to the closest village.

As she thought about the Dragonborn, Agda sighed. She'd already given him two doses of the antidote she'd brewed, and that alone had managed to steady his conditions. Nonetheless, the girl feared that the worst was yet to come, as the ingredients of the vampire's poison seemed particularly apt to take werewolves' lives. Agda sincerely hoped Steinarius was strong enough to survive it.

With a sigh, the girl thought about all the secrets the man had been hiding from her. He had told her that he was the Dragonborn and that his father was a former Legate of the Legion, sure, but he had never mentioned being a werewolf. Moreover, he still hadn't told her anything about his time with the Companions.

With another tired sigh, Agda realized that Steinarius Crepusculus was a true walking mystery.


	19. Of wolf and man

**Author's note:**

 **First things first, I wish a Happy New Year to all my readers.** **I also send a special _thank you_ to all those who are reading/favoriting/following this story. Moreover, I thank Elspeth, Guest 1 and Guest 2 for letting me know how the whole thing is going. As for Guest 1 (sorry for the numbers, but I have no other way of telling you apart), I'm really glad to know that you're keeping up with the story :) As for Guest 2, I thank you for pointing out my mistakes and giving me a chance to improve my writing. I play Skyrim in Italian (yup, that's my mother tongue), therefore it's easy for me to miss on those little details. Apropos, a warning for all my followers: next time I update my story, I'm going to fix the mistakes pointed out by Guest. Aka, expect a few random notifications together with the _real_ update (if you have a problem with that, please let me know via PM). Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ to Elspeth - I'm glad that you noticed Agda's dirty mind! XD**

 **We're getting closer to discovering the whole truth about Steinarius' past. Starting from now, some chapters will be told from his point of view.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

After slowly regaining control of his body, Steinarius eventually managed to snap his eyes open. As he did, he was immediately greeted by the sight of a white linen roof over his head. The Imperial could also feel a soft blanket under his back and warm furs all over his chest. Judging from the sensation of the pelts against his skin, he was probably naked.

Steinarius tried to recall the events of the previous hours, but his head was throbbing too painfully to form coherent memories. As a consequence, the Imperial had no idea as to why he was lying naked inside a tent.

When he tried to find out more about his surroundings, Steinarius took in an unpleasant stench that resembled a mixture of dust and dampness and dried blood. In Skyrim there were only two creatures that carried that disturbing odor of decay: draugrs and vampires. Yet, Steinarius couldn't remember coming across any of them.

Worried by the confusion that was reigning in his head, the Imperial tried to sit upright. As he did, he caught a glimpse of a lake from the opening slit of the tent. At the same time, a sudden jolt of pain shot through his left arm and caused him to curse.

As soon as a vulgar insult left the Imperial's lips, the entrance of the tent unexpectedly gave way. By the time Steinarius could overcome his surprise, Agda had already placed a hand on his shoulder and helped him lay down again.

The girl wore a guilty expression and had a nasty gash on her cheek.

"Where…"

"Hush", Agda said before Steinarius could finish his question. "You really shouldn't be talking".

Before the Imperial could ask her why, Agda gave him a vial filled by a black, thick liquid.

"The dagger was poisoned", the girl added as an explanation.

At that point, Steinarius frowned. _What the heck was Agda talking about?_

Before the man could ask her that question, the young innkeeper stretched across the tent and grabbed his left arm. As Agda removed the furs that were covering his torso, Steinarius noticed that her clothes were completely ruined. He also realized that her usual scent had been replaced by the weird mixture of blood and dust and dampness he had noticed a few seconds earlier. Moreover, her face was even paler than usual.

As he took in those details, Steinarius frowned. _Had Agda become a vampire overnight?_

The Imperial forgot that silly question as soon as he caught a glimpse of his left arm. There were three deep wounds in his humerus and all of them had a nasty black color. As he realized that, Steinarius couldn't hold back his questions anymore.

"Agda, what's going on?"

As the girl looked at him, Steinarius could read a mixture of disbelief and surprise in her deep, brown eyes. A second later, all those feelings seemed to be replaced by distress.

"You don't remember anything?"

In reply to Agda's question, Steinarius shook his head. Confronted with his confused look, Agda sighed.

"I'm afraid that Sven was too rough with you", she said. "You were screaming like mad, therefore he decided to knock you out. When I left the inn, you were still sleeping. I didn't want to wake you and I didn't want to bother anyone else either, therefore I tackled the wilds on my own. I thought I could get to Anise's cabin and back, but I was wrong. Had it not been for you…"

As Agda stopped her confusing rants, Steinarius finally regained possession of his memories. He remembered being attacked by a dragon while he was travelling with Erik, the boy he wanted to transform into the newest member of the Blades; he remembered fighting against the beast and screaming for his friend to stay out of the way, then he remembered cursing Erik for his Nordic stubbornness. Next thing Steinarius knew, the dragon was dead, the young farmer-turned-warrior was unconscious, a group of villagers was looking at him with a mixture of horror and fear and relief. Steinarius later remembered being awoken by Orgnar, who'd mumbled something about Erik's fever and Agda's disappearance. He remembered looking for the girl and finding a little note on her alchemy lab – _I'm off to find ingredients for Erik, I'll be right back. Keep the boy warm, otherwise his Bone Break Fever will get worse_. And right then, Steinarius remembered being washed over by fear.

The Imperial had left the _Sleeping_ Giant without even putting on his armor. As soon as he'd reached the southern road, he'd shifted into his werewolf form and set out to find Agda. Steinarius had been terrified by the thought of the dark creatures that could attack the girl, therefore he had been eager to bring her back to the safety of Riverwood.

It had been a while since the last time Steinarius transformed into a werewolf, therefore the memories of his hunt were really blurred. Nonetheless, the man eventually remembered his fight against the vampire, the way he had been wounded, the way he had tried to ask Agda for help without betraying his identity.

Unfortunately, his plan had been a total failure: not only had he been injured – he had also revealed Agda one of his biggest secrets.

No wonder the girl was now looking at him like a monster.

"Agda…"

"You really shouldn't be talking, Steinarius", the girl insisted. "You need to save up strength".

"I also need to explain you a thing or two".

"Your explanations can wait. Now you just need to rest".

Despite Agda's insistence, Steinarius didn't oblige - he had a lot of questions about his current situation and wanted the girl to answer them as soon as possible.

Given that the Imperial seemed keen on ignoring her words, Agda sighed and started changing his bandages. As she did, she told Steinarius about the hunter who had rescued them, about her trip to Anise's cabin, about the potions she had brewed for him and for Erik.

Steinarius wasn't worried by the news regarding the poisoned dagger used by the vampire - as a werewolf, he was namely very resistant to poisons and diseases; moreover, he was sure that Agda's antidote would heal him in a matter of hours.

"I'm already feeling better", he said in an attempt to reassure the worried girl. "Actually, I think we could even leave this tent and…"

Agda abruptly stopped him.

"Stein, if you think that you could reach Riverwood in your current conditions, you're wrong. I've been studying a lot of Restoration magic over the last few months and I fear your injuries to be much more serious than they look. I've already given you three potions against venom, but I don't think it will be enough. The only thing we can do is wait and hope that everything will be alright. Meanwhile, you have to rest and avoid any effort".

Steinarius was suddenly upset by Agda's tone of command.

"I've been poisoned because of you, _sweetheart_ ", he reminded her. "Talk to me like that once again, and I may regret saving your life".

Steinarius didn't know why he'd said those words - he only knew that, as soon as she heard them, Agda had to bite her lip in order not to cry.

When he noticed her reaction, the Imperial was overcome by shame. There were a few downsides to being a werewolf, and behaving like a tactless mudcrab was definitely one of them.

Steinarius tried to apologize, but Agda immediately stopped him. After spending the whole night by his side, the girl was both shocked and saddened by his harsh comment.

"You're perfectly right, Steinarius", she said while fighting the urge to cry. "You've risked your life because I am a stupid, irresponsible girl who can't even swing a sword. I was just trying to be grateful and help you with your injury, but it looks like you don't need any aid. Therefore, I thank you for saving my miserable life and I give you permission to do as you please. If you do come down with fever, however, don't ask for my help".

And with those words, Agda abruptly left.

* * *

As Steinarius abandoned the warmth of the tent, a soft rain was falling over the surface of Lake Ilinalta.

The Imperial goofily clutched his furs to his naked body, then looked for Agda. The girl was sitting under a makeshift shelter at the corner of the camp and looked very tired and sad.

"Come in, Agds", Steinarius kindly told her. "You'll catch a cold if you remain outside".

When the girl pretended to ignore him, Steinarius sighed. He felt sorry for their little argument and had been deeply saddened by Agda's disdainful reaction. Sure, the girl had caused him to get injured, but she had also done everything she could to treat his wounds. Considering that she'd just found out that he was werewolf, that fact was really impressive.

Despite the rain, Steinarius walked up to Agda and sat down beside her. As he looked at her, he realized that her cheeks were completely wet. The Imperial couldn't tell whether the girl had been standing in the rain or whether she had just stopped crying.

"Agda, I didn't mean to offend you", Steinarius told her.

Spurred by those words, the young innkeeper finally acknowledged his presence.

" _Of course_ you didn't mean to offend me", she snorted. "Every time you do something wrong, you justify yourself by saying that you didn't mean it. You didn't mean to strangle me either, did you?"

Steinarius cringed. He hated remembering how he'd tried to kill Agda, just like he hated being reminded about it. With a sigh, he realized that he was high time he explained her friend all the downsides of being a former Companion.

"Agda, what color are my eyes?"

The young innkeeper looked at the Dragonborn as though he had just lost his mind.

"What…"

"I wouldn't ask you this question if it weren't important".

For a long moment, Steinarius thought Agda wasn't going to answer him. Luckily for him, the girl eventually spoke.

"They're grey".

"Exactly. Now tell me: were my eyes grey when I snapped at you a while ago? And were they grey when I tried to kill you?"

Steinarius knew the answers to his questions, but he wanted to hear them from Agda's lips.

"No, they weren't", the young innkeeper said after a long moment of silence. "They were golden".

Steinarius nodded. Luckily for him, Agda was a very observant girl.

"My eyes change color whenever I feel the urge to shift into a werewolf", he explained her. "As a consequence, they become golden every time I'm angry, nervous or distressed. When my eyes aren't grey, I tend to snap at everyone and be much ruder than I normally am. It's one of the greatest downsides to being a werewolf: ever since you take the blood, you tend to lose control on some of your behaviors. That's why people like me usually live on their own".

"So, when you tried to kill me…"

"On that occasion I had just shifted back to my human form, just like tonight. Immediately after I change, I tend to become very aggressive. That's why I snapped at you a while ago and that's why I almost killed you all those months ago. I'm sorry, Agda, I really am. I never meant to offend you, let alone hurt you".

There was a moment of silence, then Agda uttered the question she'd been thinking about all night.

"How were you infected?"

"It's a long story, Agds".

"We have all night".

Steinarius looked at the girl. He could tell that she was slightly scared by him; yet, despite her fears and the many unfounded superstitions that surrounded werewolves, Agda was still by his side.

As he realized that, the Dragonborn decided to tell her the truth about his time with the Companions.

"I wasn't infected", he admitted. "I took the blood willingly".

Under Agda's astonished gaze, Steinarius revealed her the greatest secret of the Companions. He was sure she would never tell anyone about it - and even if she had, people would have taken her for mad.

Steinarius talked about his first transformation, about the powers the blood had granted him, about his constant struggle to control the least rational side of his mind.

"I was a very young pup when the older Companions admitted me into the Circle", he recalled. "I wanted to become stronger, therefore I took the blood without thinking twice. At first, I was happy - I became faster, my senses got sharper, my strength increased. After a while, however, my deal with Hircine started taking its toll.

"I would snap at everyone who angered me and I often behaved very violently. When I realized that my problems got worse when I didn't use my powers, I started hunting as a werewolf every single night. Unfortunately, that behavior only increased the strength of my inner beast. I got to the point where I couldn't focus on anything, as I was always thinking about the thrills of the hunt, or my more basic needs - fighting, eating, sleeping and coupling".

As he recalled that time of his life, Steinarius slightly blushed. He wasn't proud of the things he'd done after first taking the blood, therefore he never felt at ease when he talked other people about them.

"Luckily enough, the older Companions soon noticed that my personality had started to change; as a consequence, they immediately taught me how to control my powers. Thanks to them, I soon managed to find the perfect balance between my human side and my inner wolf.

"Unfortunately, two years ago I decided to join the Legion. As a soldier, I couldn't go out hunting whenever I wanted, therefore I stopped using my powers. Regrettably, that fact had me run out of practice: every time I shift into a werewolf now, I almost feel as bad as I did when I was an unexperienced pup".

Agda furrowed her brow.

"Werewolves are said to be allergic to silver", she muttered after a brief moment. "Is that the reason why you bought me a golden necklace on New Life Festival?"

Confronted with that unexpected question, Steinarius sighed.

Agda was definitely too observant for her own sake.

"That was one of the reasons, yes", he confessed. "Nevertheless, I also wanted to buy you something nice".

There was a long moment of silence, then Agda faced the topic every single werewolf dreaded to no end.

"What will happen once you die? I mean, will your soul go to the Hunting Grounds or..."

As Agda trailed off, Steinarius could tell that it had taken her a great effort to pose him such a personal question.

"I guess there's no way to know", he faintly smiled. "Not as long as I'm alive, at least".

There was another moment of silence, then Agda asked Steinarius whether he liked baked slaughterfish.

The Imperial deadpanned: he couldn't find the link between baked slaughterfish and the Hunting Grounds. Yet, as Agda showed him the huge slaughterfish she had killed a few minutes earlier, Steinarius understood the reason behind her question.

"This stupid thing was swimming along the shore while I was waiting for you to wake up", the girl sheepishly explained. "All of a sudden it started giving me dirty looks, so I killed it with a spell. Unfortunately, now I feel guilty for what I've done".

Steinarius burst into laughter - he had never thought that slaughterfish could give dirty looks and was very amused by Agda's guilty expression.

Unfortunately, the Imperial's enjoyment was short-lived: when he finally stopped laughing, a sudden feeling of nausea burst through his body. A second later, Steinarius bent forwards and coughed up the black, thick poison he'd been given a few minutes earlier.

Agda was quick to clean his mouth with a spell and place a hand on his shoulder. All of a sudden, the young innkeeper looked very worried.

"You'd better go back inside the tent", she said with an alarmed tone. "I'm afraid that we're in for a troubled night".

For once, Steinarius did exactly as Agda told him.


	20. When you're gone

**Author's note:**

 **First things first, a huge thank you to all those who are reading/favoriting/following this story. Also, I apologize for spamming your mailbox with lots of false notifications (I've finally taken care of the mistakes pointed out by Guest). Will you ever forgive me? (*puppy eyes*)**

 **As usual, I send a huge _thank you_ to the wonderful Elspeth. I'm glad to know that my dialogue-filled chapters aren't as boring as I fear them to be, and I'm happy to know that I've managed to build up some expectations for the future :) ****Also, I send a big _grazie_ to the amazing Alicesdream. It was great to receive a review in Italian! **

**Back to business: I know that this chapter is painfully short, but it marks a turning point in the story and a little break from my usual style. Hence, I've decided to post it on its own.**

 **There's a warning for angst. **

* * *

Just like Agda had predicted, over the course of the following hours Steinarius started feeling really, really bad.

Everything began with violent coughs that forced the Imperial to bid farewell to the little food he had managed to crunch on the previous day. It then continued with a throbbing headache that forced him to lay down and cover his face with his hands, so that the colors of the surrounding world would finally stop hurting his eyes. At last, Steinarius started feeling feverish, a fact that deeply worried him – as a werewolf, he was supposed to be completely immune to diseases.

Worried by the sudden aggravation of his conditions, Agda tried to help her friend by icing his forehead with a damp cloth, by covering his body with warm furs, by using her magicka to heal his wounds. At first Steinarius thanked her with sporadic smiles and reassuring words, but then he fell into a dull and silent world where pain and distress seemed to reign over everything else. The Imperial felt as though his blood had been replaced by a hot fire that was burning him from the inside, thus bringing a layer of sweat all over his body. He often tried to voice his discomfort and open his eyes, but he was too weak even to fulfill those simple actions.

All of a sudden, Steinarius heard two people talking next to him. Despite his efforts, he couldn't make out the words they were exchanging.

Probably alerted by the way his muscles were twitching under his skin, one of the strangers approached him and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"We're getting you to Riverwood, boy", Steinarius heard a gruff voice say. "Everything will be alright".

The Imperial would have begged to differ, but he was too sick to talk. A second later Steinarius felt someone slowly caress his forehead, his cheeks, his hair, but he definitely wasn't in the right mood to enjoy those attentions.

As the time went by, the Dragonborn's conditions got even worse. Steinarius could hear someone scream, but he didn't know whether the voice he was hearing was his own or someone else's. He opened his eyes, but was always greeted by a thick darkness and a sharp pain in his head. He tried to move, but he felt as though he was falling down an endless cliff. At a certain point, he also started suffering from vivid hallucinations that led him to relive different moments of his life.

At first Steinarius firmly believed that he was back in Solitude, eating sweet rolls with Thorygg and exchanging comments about the many weird people who lived at court. A second later he was a teenager riding a black horse along the snowy coast of Hjaalmarch, while his father screamed for him to slow down. Steinarius also saw himself as a young boy who had just joined the Companions - he remembered the hunts with Vilkas and Farkas, the calm winter nights in the mead hall of Jorrvaskr, a few of the many girls he had bedded at the time. At last, Steinarius remebered _her_.

For a few glorious moments, the hallucinations led him to believe that he was in a meadow near Rorikstead. Vigdis was laying on her back, her black eyes fixed on the sky and her chest rising and falling in time with her breaths. Steinarius slowly kissed her, caressed her, whispered tender words of love against her lips as he gently moved inside her. When Vigdis smiled back at him, the Imperial felt like the happiest man on Nirn.

Steinarius later remembered the way Vigdis had shyly, knowingly smiled all those years ago, as she'd laid his hand over her belly and told him that they were about to become a family. Then, everything changed.

Steinarius was now in the Temple of Kynareth, arguing with a healer who wouldn't allow him into the room where his woman was desperately fighting for her life. The Imperial remembered the blood, the pain, the way Vigdis was crying as the healers were trying to save her and their baby. Steinarius remembered a little bundle of blankets being shoved into his arms, he remembered Danica Pure Spring saying how sorry she was for the way his life had suddenly fallen apart, then he remembered crying on someone's shoulders for what felt like years. He also remembered Vigdis' ruined armor, her bloodied sword, her poor, broken body. At last, Steinarius remembered the way he'd punched Vilkas in the face, the rage he'd felt as he'd left Jorrvaskr, the violent argument he'd had with Kodlak and the others.

Those horrible scenes replayed in Steinarius' minds for what felt like years.

Every time Danica shoved the bundle of blankets into his arms, the Imperial hoped for a different ending. Unfortunately, his prayers and protests were always in vain.

* * *

Steinarius didn't know how long the poison ran through his veins.

When the haze that covered his mind eventually began to fade, the Imperial felt clean sheets neatly tucked around his body, a cold cloth pressed against his forehead, a warm hand gently squeezing his own. He tried to talk, but a young woman immediately hushed him.

"It's almost over, Steinarius", the woman whispered in his ear. "It's almost over. We'll get you through this, I promise you we will".

Steinarius was comforted by the reassuring tone the woman had used. Over the following hours, the Imperial realized that that very same woman was tenderly stroking his cheeks, slowly changing his bandages, carefully using a spell to decrease the burning in his veins and clean his skin from the sweat.

As he realized that, Steinarius suddenly felt the ridiculous urge to smile. There was only one person who could take care of him in such a loving and tender way, and that person was his favorite shield-sister, his soon-to-be-wife, the mother of his child.

It looked as though the Divines had finally reunited him with Vigdis.

* * *

When the poison was finally cleansed from his body, Steinarius eventually managed to open his eyes. He took in the sight of a cozy room, then he saw a woman coming towards him. At that point, the Imperial smiled - those scenes in the Temple of Kynareth had probably been just another nightmare.

A few minutes before regaining consciousness, Steinarius had dreamed of his house in Whiterun, of his baby boy asleep in his cradle, of his newly-wed wife kissing him tenderly on the lips. He was now looking forward to seeing Vigdis' smile, to feeling her long silken hair on his skin, to drowning in her wonderful black eyes. Nonetheless, Steinarius' return to life was greeted by two deep, brown eyes, equally beautiful but so terribly different from his lover's dark irises.

As he recognized Agda, the Dragonborn felt his heart shatter in a thousand pieces.

He had lost his family once again.


	21. Decisions

**Author's note:**

 **To make up for chapter 20 (which was both short and purposefully confusing), here I am with two instalments at once.**

 **Ladies and gentleman, may I present you the meanest cliffhanger ever - in other words, Steinarius finally finds the guts to tell Agda about his past.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **21st of First Seed**

It took Steinarius a whole week to defeat the evil poison that was running through his body, and it took him three more days to find the willpower to leave his bed.

When the Imperial abandoned his shelter for the first time, he was immediately greeted by Erik's smile. The boy was sitting on a bench in the main hall of the _Sleeping Giant_ and looked pale but fine. He also had a few new scars on his face, which he proudly presented to his friend.

"I'm fine, and all thanks to Agda", Erik stated as soon as Steinarius asked him how he was doing. "That girl is simply amazing: since Danica Pure Spring was busy with a newborn baby in Rorikstead, she had to take care of us by herself; nonetheless, she saved our lives without any problems. Apropos, how were you hurt?"

As Erik watched him with curious eyes, Steinarius shifted uneasily on his chair. He was still feeling dizzy and actually didn't want to talk about the events that had led to his near encounter with death.

"It doesn't matter", he said while trying to sound like a guy who actually believed in what he was saying. "The only important thing is that we're both fine. By the way, you are absolutely right: Agda is a great healer. Thanks to her, I've never felt so good in my whole life".

It was a lie, of course – although the poison had been cleansed from his body, Steinarius still felt weak and overtired. Moreover, he was sad and worried and embarrassed for the way he'd behaved immediately after regaining consciousness.

Since the hallucinations had led him to believe that Vigdis was still by his side, waking up to find her gone had been a terrible blow for Steinarius. As a consequence, immediately after his return to consciousness, the Imperial had been awful to Agda.

When Steinarius had finally opened his eyes, the girl had walked up to him with a healing potion in her hand, a sweet and soothing smile on her face, loving and tender words on her lips. Unfortunately, the Dragonborn hadn't noticed the swollen bags under Agda's eyes, the blue halos that the magicka potions had left around her lips, the relief that was lighting up her face - he had simply noticed her dark blond curls, her calm brown eyes, her average build and her sweet, harmless smile. In few words, he had noticed all the things that made her different from Vigdis. Led by his bitter disappointment, Steinarius had slapped Agda's hand away as soon as the girl had tried to touch him.

The innkeeper had been taken aback by the violence of that sudden gesture. She had looked sad and hurt and confused, then she had left the room without saying anything. In those few, terrible seconds, Steinarius had regained control of his mind and felt awfully sorry for what he'd done.

Despite that rude gesture, Agda had kept on taking care of the Imperial even on the following days. The man had been embarrassed by her kindness and had soon excused himself for his behavior.

 _Stein, you'd been suffering from hallucinations for the whole week_ , the innkeeper had told him with a reassuring smile. _When I closed in on you, you felt in danger and you reacted as though I was a threat. I should have imagined that, therefore it's all my fault_.

Upon hearing those words, Steinarius had frowned: whenever he did something wrong, Agda was always ready to defend him and take the blame upon herself. The Imperial didn't like that attitude and was set on telling the girl to stop justifying his mistakes.

"Considering that Agda's been taking care of you for the last few days, I definitely believe you, Captain", Erik said while Steinarius was still lost in his embarrassing memories. "That girl is incredible: she's found the antidote for your poison in a matter of minutes, she's squeezed your hand whenever you started mumbling in your sleep, she's iced your forehead every time your fever got out of control... I think she even avoided sleeping for more than a week, and all because she wanted us to be safe".

Steinarius sighed. He'd met Erik more than a year earlier, when he was still an officer from the Legion. He'd immediately taken a liking to that young farmer who dreamed of adventures and great battles and he had deeply enjoyed the fierce look in his pale blue eyes. As a consequence, Steinarius had talked to Erik's father, paid for his first cuirass and started taking the boy on random errands.

The young Nord was a very promising warrior, but he had a few flaws – he was still very unexperienced and seemed unable to follow directions. Moreover, he had a tough time addressing Steinarius by his first name and shutting up for more than two minutes at a time. Deep in his heart, Steinarius suspected Erik to suffer from a weird illness that made him black out whenever he didn't say anything for too long.

"Agda really did an incredibly job", the boy was saying when Steinarius started paying attention to him again. "If I weren't set on becoming a warrior, I would probably ask her out. That girl is perfect wife material: she never ever faltered, not even when you were screaming like mad".

Steinarius suddenly frowned. He knew that Agda had taken care of him in an impeccable way – she'd whispered encouraging words in his ears, she'd caressed him tenderly, she'd saved his life by brewing the complicated potions he needed to drink every hour. Yet, until that moment he hadn't heard anything about _screaming like mad_.

"What do you mean by saying that _I was screaming like mad_?", he asked Erik.

The boy wasn't embarrassed by that question. He had regained consciousness long before Steinarius and had spent some hours by his bedside whenever Agda was too tired to stay awake.

"Captain, you spent most of the week shouting and writhing in your bed", Erik immediately recalled. "Sometimes you even opened your eyes and muttered some incoherent words, but most of the time you were just screaming from the top of your lungs. Agda has even been forced to close the tavern for a few days, as your yells were scaring the patrons away"

Steinarius blushed. The girl hadn't told him anything about that and now he felt both embarrassed and guilty.

Unfortunately, Erik's tale wasn't over yet.

"You once shouted poor Orgnar out of the door, Captain", the boy revealed him with a light chuckle. "And you did the same to Agda. Nonetheless, most of the time you were just screaming two names. Vigdis and…"

Steinarius didn't listen to the following words: despite his dizziness, he hastily stood up from his chair and headed for his bedroom. Once there, he locked the door and slumped down on his bed.

The memories of his past were driving him crazy.

* * *

Thanks to Sven and the other customers of the inn, that afternoon Steinarius found out that Agda had had a very tough time taking care of him. Moreover, he discovered that everyone in Riverwood had heard him screaming the two names mentioned by Erik.

"Vigdiiiiiis!", Embry mocked him as the Dragonborn was eating his lunch in a corner of the inn. "Eidaaan! Don't leeeeave meeeee!"

The drunkard wasn't the only one who was making fun of Steinarius – the new townguards often mimicked his screams, whereas Sven kept on laughing at the way he had shouted Agda out of the door of his room. Steinarius tried to ignore the teasing, but after a few minutes he took his bowl of stew and hastily retreated to his room.

The Imperial opened the door only a few hours later, when someone gently knocked. Before he could tell the intruder to go away, Steinarius was greeted by Agda's tired eyes. The girl had spent the morning in Whiterun, where she had bought everything she needed to take care of Steinarius and Erik's injuries - athough the young farmer looked perfectly fine, he still wasn't able to move around without grimacing.

"The vampire's poison was surprisingly apt to take werewolves' lives", Agda explained as she prepared the paste she often applied to the Imperial's wounds. "That's why you felt so bad. Thanks to Mara, I was lucky enough to brew the correct antidote right away".

Steinarius didn't say anything. He knew that Agda wasn't simply lucky – she was a hard-working girl, a careful healer, a talented alchemist. Nevertheless, _he had shouted her out of the door while she was taking care of him_.

That thought was enough to make him cringe.

As he shed his shirt and waited for Agda to take care of him, Steinarius decided to face the topic he'd been dreading for the whole morning.

"Erik has told me that I shouted you out of the door", he sheepishly confessed. "I'm sorry, Agds, I really am".

As she took a closer look at the stitches in Steinarius' arm, the girl chuckled. The Imperial was sitting on his bed and Agda had just taken place beside him.

"You didn't shout me out of the door because you wanted to harm me", she told him with a reassuring smile. "You shouted me out of the door because you were unconscious".

"Did I hurt you?"

Agda was silent for a few seconds, causing a sudden rush of worry to run through Steinarius' veins.

"I may have a cracked rib", she eventually confessed. "By the way, it's nothing serious".

" _It is_ , Agda. I've behaved horribly to you: I kept you awake for ten nights in a row, I smacked your hand away the other day, I hurt you with a Shout, I…"

"Stein, I've seen what you can do to dragons", Agda interrupted him. "And I'm glad you didn't do that to me".

There was a moment of silence as the girl started treating Steinarius' wounds. The cuts looked clean, but they were still swollen and had a weird reddish color.

The Imperial loved the way Agda handled his body – she was sweet, careful and always tried not to cause him useless pain. Moreover, she often tried to provide him with as much modesty as possible.

"Orgnar has told me about Embry and the others", the girl suddenly said. "When he did, I got so angry that I summoned a Flame Atronach and forced them to leave the inn. I don't want stupid people to pester the air I breathe and the warriors I'm trying to heal".

Steinarius sighed. Although Agda was smiling, he couldn't help but wonder how she felt about the whole Vigdis drama.

"Erik told me that I screamed quite a lot while I was unconscious", he muttered after gathering all his courage. "Do you… do you remember what I was talking about?"

Agda slightly furrowed her brow, then took to changing Steinarius' bandages without saying anything. After a long moment of silence, she eventually sighed.

"You were talking about a woman and a man, I believe", she said. "You often repeated their names, followed by some words that I couldn't make out. Something about a Temple".

"Did I say anything specific?"

There was another moment of silence, then Agda shook her head.

"No, you didn't. Nonetheless, every time you spoke about those two people, you always looked on the verge of tears".

Upon hearing these words, Steinarius felt a violent shiver wrack his body. As the hallucinations from the previous week suddenly ran through his mind, the Imperial took his head in his hands, then he closed his eyes and tried to steady his heartbeat and his breathing.

For a few minutes the Dragonborn completely forgot Agda's presence. He remembered about it when the girl laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and forced him to raise his gaze.

"If you want to talk, I'm here", she said as soon as Steinarius stared in her deep brown eyes.

The Imperial nodded, then watched as the innkeeper gathered her equipment and left his room.

For the tenth time in the previous twenty minutes, Steinarius realized that he'd been extremely lucky to meet such a wonderful woman.

* * *

It was late at night and Steinarius couldn't bring himself to sleep. He wanted to thank Agda for everything she'd done for him and was finally ready to tell her the whole truth about his past.

The Imperial had noticed the way Agda looked at him, the way she tenderly caressed him, the way she fiercely protected him from everyone and everything. He was sure that the girl had some feelings for him, and part of his mind wished he could make those feelings become mutual. Unfortunately, his past wouldn't allow him to do that.

With a sigh, Steinarius got up from his bed and reached the main hall of the inn. He wanted – actually, _needed_ – to talk to Agda, to explain her the reasons for his behavior once and for all. He owed her that, at least: since he couldn't reciprocate her feelings, he wanted her to know everything about his past and about the scars that still marred his heart.

When he reached the main hall and realized that the girl was reading at the back table of the inn, Steinarius felt as though the Divines had sent him a sign to help him along with his decision. As the Imperial approached her, Agda looked at him with a worried expression. She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, but Steinarius stopped her with a gesture.

"I'm fine", he said. "I just couldn't sleep".

Frowning, Agda closed the Conjuration book she was reading. She was really pale and looked in terrible need of rest. Despite her tiredness, she was keeping guard in case Erik or Steinarius felt bad during the night.

"I'd like to tell you about the two people I kept on mentioning while I was unconscious", Steinarius muttered. "After all you've done for me, I think you deserve to know more about them".

Upon hearing those words, Agda unexpectedly got up from her chair. She reached the counter of the inn, cast a weird spell and returned a few seconds later. In her hands there were two tankards full of a hot, smoky liquid.

"Hot cocoa", she explained Steinarius. "It's a very common beverage in Hammerfell and it's surprisingly good. Adaeze sent me the receipt a few days ago. You look like you could use some".

As Steinarius took a sip from his tankard, he produced a little smile. That weird beverage was too sweet for his taste, but the Imperial had been moved by Agda's tenderness.

The girl was the nicest person he'd ever met.

"You said you wanted to talk", Agda reminded him once she'd finished her tankard. "I'm listening".

Steinarius took a deep breath. The moment he'd feared for such a long time had finally arrived.

It was high time he told Agda about his past.


	22. Vigdis

**Author's note:**

 **This chapter has w** **arnings for gore, angst, death, mentions of illnesses. It is the first instalment I outlined when I planned this story, but I had to rewrite it a few times because I wasn't satisfied with the result. This chapter marks a huge turning point in this fanfic, therefore I'm really anxious to know what you think of it. Love it? Hate it? Love the chapter and hate me? Everything is possible. As I wait for your comments, I'll go and hide in a corner until I find a way to make up for my evilness towards Steinarius and his unlucky family.**

* * *

 **22nd of First Seed**

Steinarius was quiet for a moment. He took a deep sigh, then he carefully chose the words he wanted to say.

"There is something you don't know about me, Agda, something much more personal than being the Dragonborn or being a werewolf", he eventually murmured. "Three years ago, I was about to get married and become a father".

As he paused, Steinarius scanned Agda's face to examine her reactions. The girl had frowned at his sudden confession, but had decided to remain silent. Thanks to his heightened senses, however, the Imperial immediately realized that her heart had just skipped a beat.

She clearly hadn't expected that news.

"My fiancée was an important member of the Companions", Steinarius recalled after a brief moment of silence. "Her name was Vigdis and she was everything I ever desired: quiet and shy, yet strong and fierce. You remind me of her in many ways, Agda".

It was true: although Vigdis and the innkeeper looked really different from one another, their inner strength was exactly the same.

After saying those few, difficult sentences, Steinarius took another deep breath and started talking about his life with Vigdis. He told Agda of the young girl who'd joined the Companions many years earlier, of the way he had fallen for her, of the time they'd spent together as a couple, admired and feared and esteemed by all the people of Whiterun and beyond. Then Steinarius recalled one of the best days of his life.

"A few months into our relationship, Vigdis started behaving in a very weird way", the Imperial sighed with a sad smile. "She would no longer come hunt with me and she would spend a lot of time with her shield-sisters, ignoring me and the other boys from the Companions. I feared her to be angry at me for some unknown reasons, but after a few days she eventually told me the truth. She was avoiding our usual hunts because she was with child, not because I had angered her without realizing it.

"When Vigdis discovered that she was pregnant, we immediately decided to get married. We were deeply in love with each other and looked forward to spending the rest of our lives together".

"Yet you don't wear any wedding ring", Agda carefully pointed out.

With a grimace, Steinarius nodded. Agda was amazingly, painfully observant.

With another sigh, the Imperial told his friend about the ridicolous amount of weddings that had taken place in Skyrim that year. Given the circumstances, he and Vigdis had been forced to get married a few weeks before the birth of their child.

"Unfortunately, right when my woman was nearing the end of her pregnancy and we were about to get married, everything went out of control", Steinarius recalled.

With a tired sigh, the man remembered the little arguments he'd had with Vigdis during the long months before the birth of their child. He wanted her to relax and avoid any physical effort, but the Nord woman was clearly suffering from that forced inactivity.

 _Steinarius, I'm not dying, I'm not ill, I'm not injured_ , Vigdis had once snapped at her soon-to-be-husband. _I'm simply pregnant. I can even do the washing up on my own, although you don't believe me._

Steinarius' overprotective attitude had soon raised the protests of many of his shield-siblings. Nonetheless, none of them had ever dared getting involved in the little tussles between him and Vigdis - at least, no one had until the day of their wedding had finally approached.

"I'm not a Nord, therefore I don't know much about the wedding traditions of Skyrim", Steinarius told Agda. "Unfortunately for me, the other Companions did.

"One day, Vignar Grey-Mane told Vigdis about an old Nordic tradition. According to that stupid thing, all warriors are meant to spend a whole day hunting without their fiancée shortly before they get married. Vignar said that it was some sort of _last adventure before settling down_ , but I actually thought it was a very silly way to get hurt at a very important point in one's life. Regrettably, Vigdis didn't agree with me".

Steinarius never felt at ease when her woman was hunting without him - as a consequence, he almost had a nervous breakdown when his very pregnant woman voiced her desire to tackle the wilds on her own.

 _She won't be on her own!_ , Aela had chuckled at the Imperial's outraged protests. _There will be some of us helping her, ice brain!_

When even Kodlak had said that Steinarius was worrying too much, the man had accepted his defeat and let Vigdis free to do what she wanted, even if that implied getting involved with stupid barbaric traditions.

"The evening before Vigdis faced her last hunt as an unmarried woman, I tried to make sure that everything would go by smoothly", Steinarius recalled with a sigh. "I forced her to promise me that she would go hunting in a little cave not far from Whiterun, then I asked a few of my shield-siblings to take care of her. As I left my home on the following morning, however, I couldn't help but feel that something terrible was about to happen".

Unfortunately, Steinarius' fears had soon proved to be right. He had arranged for Aela to go hunting with Vigdis, but the Huntress had been blocked in Winterhold by a sudden snowstorm. Steinarius had found a good replacement in Farkas, one of his most trusted siblings. Unfortunately, as soon as the Imperial had left Whiterun to carry out one of his tasks, Farkas had been summoned in Falkreath to deal with a Hargraven who had taken up residence in a house. After that, Vigdis had decided to go hunting with a whelp and with Arnbjorn, a tall Nord with a creepy passion for killing.

Steinarius had never got on well with Anrbjorn - actually, after working with him on a few errands, he had even demanded Kodlak to kick that broody werewolf out of the Companions.

Despite Steinarius' worries, the Harbringer had allowed Arnbjorn to continue his life in Jorrvaskr. Moreover, he had asked him to take care of Vigdis during her last hunt as an unmarried woman.

"It was a beautiful morning when Vigdis left", Steinarius said with a heavy sigh. "I had a job to carry out too, so I left Jorrvaskr a few hours before her. When I came back that evening, I immediately went to my house in the middle of Whiterun. When I noticed that Vigdis wasn't there, I thought I'd find her in Jorrvaskr, celebrating her triumphant hunt and making fun of her overprotective fiancée. Nonetheless, as soon as I reached the Hall of the Companions, I realized that she wasn't there either. That's when I panicked".

While lowering his gaze to the floor, Steinarius told Agda about the worst moments of his life.

"I immediately left Whiterun and ran to the wolf cave where Vigdis had gone hunting. As I did, I couldn't stop cursing myself for my stupidity. _The woman I was madly in love with was carrying our first child, yet I didn't stop her from fighting a pack of wolves_. I should have locked her in our house, used my guts to stop her, argued with those who criticized me because I wanted to keep her safe. Instead, I just stepped aside and allowed her to do as she pleased. By Talos, _how could I be so_ _stupid_?"

Even when Steinarius hid his face in his hands, Agda didn't say anything. She was afraid to discover what happened to Vigdis and was also shocked by the regret she saw in Steinarius' troubled eyes.

Immediately after noticing that Vigdis hadn't got home from her hunt, the Imperial and the other Companions had immediately set out to find her. Steinarius had gone to the cave where he'd suggested she went hunting and, as soon as he'd entered the place, he'd immediately realized that something was off.

"When I reached my destination, my heart stopped", the man muttered when he eventually regained his composure. "Arnbjorn was nowhere to be found, whereas Vigdis and her other shield-sister were huddled together in a pool of blood".

At that point, Agda couldn't stifle a whine. She was visibly worried and had started biting her nails in an attempt to calm her anxiety.

"Did she survive?"

Steinarius didn't answer.

"When I got to the cave, the whelp was already dead", he muttered. "Nonetheless, Vigdis' heart was still beating – a faint heartbeat, but enough to keep her alive".

Steinarius proceeded to tell Agda about his desperate run to the Temple of Kynareth, about the insults he'd screamed towards the other Companions, about the way Danica Pure Spring had decided to have Vigdis deliver her child.

"Although Vigdis' time was still far away, Danica Pure Spring said that she needed to give birth to our son. Despite the predictions from the healers, my little Eidan lived for a few days. Nonetheless, as soon as I started hoping he could actually survive and become a strong, healthy child, the Divines took him away from me".

As he thought about that loss, Steinarius bit his lower lip in an attempt to fight against the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes. Even if he'd learned to stake the thoughts regarding Eidan in a hidden corner of his mind, the Dragonborn couldn't help but feel bad every time he mentioned him.

As she noticed Steinarius' distress, Agda was quick to take his hand and softly squeeze it between hers. The Imperial realized that she was on the verge of tears, too.

For a few seconds the only sound left to fill the air was the comforting crackling of the fireplace. As he looked at a weird spot on the floor, Steinarius tried to forget his son's grey eyes, the way Eidan had slept in his arms a few days after his birth, the way the boy had seemed to smile whenever he made weird sounds with his tongue.

Before he could definitely break down in tears, however, the Dragonborn forced himself to steer those thoughts away from his mind.

"After losing Eidan, I feared that Vigdis would die as well", Steinarius managed to murmur after a long moment of silence. "Nonetheless, my woman luckily managed to survive.

"As soon as Vigdis regained consciousness, I immediately realized that we couldn't have our lives back, as my woman was now almost completely paralyzed. Moreover, the healers told us that she would never be able to get pregnant again".

Always the observant healer, at that point Agda frowned.

"How was it possible for Vigdis to get such bad injuries? You said that she was a very good warrior".

Steinarius sighed. Many people had asked him that question, but Agda was likely the only one who was going to get the real answer.

"As you already know, many members of the Companions are werewolves", he explained her. "During their hunt together, Arnbjorn lost control of his inner beast and got carried away. He shifted into a werewolf, then he killed the young whelp who had gone hunting with him. When Vigdis tried to stop him, he attacked her too. Vigdis was afraid to hurt the baby, therefore she didn't change and relied only on her weapons. As you can imagine, that strategy wasn't effective at all".

Agda felt a shiver run down her spine. She'd seen the way Steinarius had killed a vampire by using his fangs and his claws, and could only imagine what kind of injuries Arnbjorn had caused to poor Vigdis.

"After Vigdis got hurt, Arnbjorn never returned to Whiterun", Steinarius explained. "My woman, on the other hand, found herself in need of constant cures - she needed help to eat, to bathe, even to read a book. That's why I'm good at taking care of injured people", the Imperial added as he remembered the way he'd bathed Agda after her encounter with the Thalmor. "Because I've had months of pratice with her".

With a sigh, Steinarius told Agda about the first, tiring weeks after Vigdis' incident. In few days time the Imperial had been forced to call off his wedding, to attend the burial of his own son, to learn how to take care of his sick woman. Moreover, he had decided to leave the Companions.

"I hadn't forgotten the way they'd mocked me for my worries about Vigdis, just like I hadn't forgotten that Kodlak had allowed Arnbjorn to go hunting with her", he said. "At the same time, my shield-siblings hadn't forgotten the way I insulted them after I lost my son - I called Vignar _a murderer_ and punched in the face the man who was trying to calm me. Since we couldn't get over those events, I left Jorrvaskr and gave up fighting for a few months".

Upon hearing these words, something in Agda's mind seemed to connect.

"That's why you never talk about the time you spent with the Companions", she pointed out. "Because they remind you of Vigdis and your son".

"That's also the reason why I stormed out of Alvor's house all that time ago", Steinarius nodded. "When you asked me why I'd left the Companions, I couldn't make up any decent answer. Most of the time I spent with them was great, sure, but Vigdis' fate made me forget about it".

There was another moment of silence, then Steinarius resumed his tale. He told Agda about the first months after Vigdis' incident, about his attempts to make her feel comfortable in her new situation, to make her forget all she'd been through, to find the best healers who could help her with her injuries.

"Vigdis went through a lot of healing treatments, many of which were extremely painful", the man recalled. "Thanks to them, however, her conditions soon improved. A few months after the incident, she could move the left side of her body and take little walks through Whiterun. Right then, when things finally started to look brighter, I made my second, tragic mistake".

Steinarius paused and lazily rubbed his tired eyes. As he did, he finally let go of Agda's hand.

"Back then the civil war had already begun", he recalled. "As the son of a Legate and an Imperial myself, I deeply wished I could join the army and fight against the rebels.

"When I received the news of Thorygg's murder, my desire to join the Legion became even stronger. One evening, as I was talking to a friend in my house in Whiterun, I complained that I couldn't take part in the war because I had to look after Vigdis. I thought she was asleep, but she wasn't: she overheard the conversation and spent the whole night crying. She didn't tell me why she was sobbing like a baby, so I thought she had been awoken by one of her usual nightmares. I cradled her in my arms, just like every other time, then forgot about it. A week later she was gone".

As he remembered the way Vigdis had disappeared from his life, Steinarius felt heavy tears gather once again in his eyes.

"My woman left Whiterun with the help of a friend", he said while trying to steady his voice. "According to a note I found on her pillow, _she didn't want to burden me any further_. She said that I was a fine warrior and that I needed a woman who could provide me with children and who wouldn't stop me from pursuing my dreams.

"As you can imagine, that day my heart broke in a thousand pieces. I loved Vigdis and couldn't believe that she had abandoned me. For the last two years I've been looking for her throughout the whole country: I've spent all my money on sellswords and experienced hunters, I've explored Falmer dens and Dwemer ruins, I've ventured in all the places and caves I could find, I even contacted the Dark Brotherhood. Nonetheless, I never heard from her again.

"I don't know if Vigdis is alive, if she's killed herself, if she's forgotten me. However, one thing I know: I still love her and I would do everything to get her back".

When Steinarius eventually stopped talking, Agda couldn't help but hug him. The man hid his face in the crook of her neck and let out a few heavy sighs. Agda pulled him closer and didn't let go until Steinarius finally stopped shaking.

At that moment, she realized that the Dragonborn of legends was nothing but a human.

* * *

They remained like that for what felt like hours. Agda softly soothed her friend, whereas Steinarius did his best not to break down in front of her.

"I've never told anyone else", he muttered against her shoulder.

"It's alright", Agda whispered into his ear.

The girl didn't know that Steinarius had experienced something so terrible - he had lost his son, then he had been abandoned by the woman he loved.

As she thought about Vigdis, however, Agda couldn't avoid feeling disgusted by the woman's behavior. She had probably thought to do Steinarius a favor, but she'd just managed to turn him into a sad man with a broken heart.

As the Imperial kept on shivering in her arms, Agda deeply wished she could make him forget his past and start living a better present.


	23. Friendly advice

**Author's note:**

 **After posting two chapters at once last week, here I am with a new instalment.** **First things first, I thank all those who are reading/favoriting/following this story. Also, a special _thank you_ goes to Elspeth, reddevil47 and Guest for their reviews. I was afraid that some readers would be disappointed by Steinarius' past, but your lovely comments showed me that that is not the case. As for Guest's review, I must admit that I found their suggestion really interesting and intriguing. I have already planned (and written) the next few chapters of this story, but I may include some of your ideas later on. For the moment I thank you very much for the tip - I love listening to my readers' advice and to their opinions on my story!**

 **We're slowly nearing the end of the first section of this fanfic. Will Stein manage to forget Vigdis or will he keep on dwelling in the past? We'll find out in the next few chapters.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **29th of First Seed, 4E 202**

After telling Agda about his past, Steinarius spent a lot of time shivering in her arms. He remained there until he stopped shaking, until the tears retreated inside his eyes, until he finally managed to steady his voice. Only then did the Imperial dare to break the embrace and thank Agda for her support.

Even as she listened to Steinarius' tale, the young innkeeper had been very comforting: she had asked him questions in a tactful and respectful way, she had done everything she could to soothe him, she'd clearly taken part in the pain he was experiencing as he recalled his past.

That night, as he tried to relax in his bed after Agda had given him a light sleeping draught, Steinarius couldn't help but curse himself for being a weak man who was unable to leave his past behind. He thought that with time he'd eventually learn to forget Vigdis, the way she had abandoned him, the love he had nourished for her; he thought that he'd regain part of his cheerfulness, of his chattiness, of his enthusiasm towards life. And on New Life Festival, the Imperial had felt as though he'd finally managed to forget the shadows of his past.

On that occasion, as Agda had fallen asleep beside him, Steinarius had felt the familiar tingle of something long forgotten, of a primal instinct that suggested he turned towards the young innkeeper and kissed her until her lips were red and her breathing frantic. That night, however, Steinarius had decided to be patient. He cared about Agda and he didn't want her to get involved with someone who had a past as troubled as his own, with someone who would make love to her while thinking of another woman, with someone who couldn't provide her with the happiness she deserved.

 _One day I'll tell her everything_ , Steinarius had thought as he'd looked at her innocent expression. _One day_ _I will tell her about the scars marring my heart, then I'll let her decide whether to give me a chance_. _Perhaps Agda will be the one to heal me once and for all_.

When he'd bid Agda farewell, Steinarius had felt that familiar longing once again. Later, during the long nights in Sky Haven Temple, the Dragonborn had often thought of the young innkeeper and smiled to himself in the darkness. He liked the girl's shyness, her sweetness, her enthusiasm towards the littlest things in life, and he couldn't wait to go back to Riverwood and tell Agda how much he enjoyed spending time with her.

 _Soon, very soon, I will give myself the chance to build a new life with a woman I love_ , Steinarius often told himself during those boring sleepless nights _. And Agda could be just the one I'm looking for_.

Unfortunately, the hallucinations caused by the poison had brought back the emptiness Steinarius had long strived to fill. The Imperial had learned to stake the thoughts regarding Vigdis and Eidan in a hidden corner of his mind, he had learned to avoid talking about them, he had learned to forget about their tragic destinies. Nonetheless, after those ten days full of poisoned memories and hallucinations, Steinarius had sudddenly realized that his life was slipping away from him once again. The hallucinations had reminded him of his love for Vigdis, of her strength, of her braveness and her long silences; they had reminded him of Eidan, of his grey eyes, of the way he had once fallen asleep with his tiny hands wrapped around his thumb. But most of all, the hallucinations had shown him what kind of life Steinarius would have had if Vigdis hadn't been injured - they had shown him his cozy house in Whiterun, his son growing up to be a chubby and healthy child with a mane of black hair, his wife smiling softly as she told him they were about to become parents again.

Unfortunately enough, Steinarius' distress soon started to influence his behavior. The Legion, the Blades, even the dragons, everything suddenly seemed unimportant compared to the losses the Imperial had experienced all that time ago, and the man soon lost the enthusiasm he had once felt for his job, for his destiny and for his calling.

Agda was the only one who knew about his troubles, just like she was the only one to offer him solace. She'd often stay up in the night just to hear Steinarius talk, to reassure him, to prepare him weak sleeping draughts that could help him find some peace. Moreover, during the day she would often caress his back, place her hands on his shoulders as he chatted with Erik, squeeze his hand whenever he was silent for a particularly long time. Steinarius hadn't missed the way Agda's heart sped up when he replied to her displays of affection, just like he hadn't missed the way she defended him from everyone who tried to mock him. The girl clearly had some feelings for him - and, one day, Steinarius abruptly realized that he had feelings for her too.

* * *

The Dragonborn had already noticed that Agda's presence was enough to make him feel better. He remembered very well the lust he'd felt on New Life Festival, just like he remembered the many open-eyed dreams he'd had about her. Nonetheless, after the hallucinations had brought back the memory of Vigdis, Steinarius thought that his feelings for the girl were nothing but a strong friendship. Yet, one day he realized just how wrong he was.

Steinarius had just returned from his first long walk after getting injured. He had reached Helgen, then he'd come back at a fast pace, thus understanding that his body had completely recovered from the traumas it had endured. As he opened the door to the _Sleeping Giant_ , however, the Imperial felt on the verge of fainting.

Agda wasn't the kind of girl who bluntly flirted with her customers, who allowed them to take good looks at her cleavage, who raised her skirt just to make them drool over her. Therefore, as Steinarius walked inside the inn and noticed that she was sitting on Erik's lap, he felt the irrational need to punch the boy in the face.

Agda seemed to realize his distress and was quick to abandon her place on Erik's knees. Nonetheless, Steinarius thought about that afternoon for many days to come.

Erik was a handsome boy, sure - he had a mane of red hair, pale blue eyes, the tanned and scarred face of a farmer turned warrior; he was friendly and fun and chatty and always told lots of amusing anedoctes about his youth, about Rorikstead, about his adventures. Yet, Steinarius couldn't understand why Agda liked him so much.

Was it because he was a Nord just like her? Or was it because he was exactly as old as her? Or was it because she'd seen him naked and had enjoyed the view?

That night, as he tossed and turned in his bed, Steinarius couldn't stop thinking about those questions. He wasn't a Nord, sure, but he'd been living in Skyrim for many years; he was older than Agda, true, but with 27 winters he was still a very young man; he didn't have wonderful blue eyes that shone like stars on a tanned face, alright, but he thought his appearance to be much classier and nobler than Erik's. As for his body, Steinarius truly was at loss for words. He had once bathed with Erik - it wasn't that uncommon, for two male warriors who had been facing the wilds together for more than three weeks in a row - and he couldn't remember anything striking about the boy. If Agda thought that the young farmer was better off than him, Steinarius probably needed to streak naked through her inn just to make her realize what she was missing out on.

Luckily enough, those thoughts allowed Steinarius to understand a few things.

 _First_ , he probably wasn't as attractive as he believed; _second_ , he was jealous of a Nord farmer - which, to tell the truth, was actually quite embarrassing; _third_ , the Dragonborn wished he could bring Agda to show him the same level of friendship she was already displaying with Erik; _fourth_ , Steinarius finally understood that he was tired of the life he'd led over the previous three years.

That last realization did wonders for the Imperial. As he thought about Agda and Vigdis, Steinarius namely understood that he was tired of walking the path of life on his own, of spending days full of fights and arguments and fatigue only to come home in the evenings and find that there was no one there to wait for him. But most of all, Steinarius realized all of a sudden, he was tired of allowing his past to undermine his future.

When that thought clearly cut its way through his mind, the Imperial couldn't take it anymore: he got up from his bed and ventured into the wilds.

It was high time he started fighting for his own happiness.

* * *

Whiterun was as busy as usual. Although the Civil War had stopped lots of the trades starting from the city, the number of foreign adventurers and simple customers who were quietly strolling through the local market was surprisingly impressive. With all those people walking around, no one paid attention to the cloaked man who quickly snuck into the _Warmaiden's_ , one of the best weapon shops of the Hold.

As he caught a glimpse of Ulfberth's familiar built, Steinarius smiled. It was early morning, but the bulky Nord was already dealing with a few customers. His wife, Adrianne, was nowhere to be seen.

After first joining the Companions, Steinarius had nourished a fierce dislike towards Whiterun. As the only Imperial member of the Companions, he'd namely been considered a weirdo (if not a downright psycho) by most of the local population. Moreover, the fact that his father was an important Legate had soon gained him the hatred of the whole Gray-Mane clan.

Luckily enough, Eorlund Gray-Mane, the blacksmith of the Companions, had never paid attention to the feelings the rest of his family nourished towards Steinarius; nonetheless, when the boy destroyed part of his equipment during their first blacksmithing lesson together, Eorlund had been quick to ban him from his workplace.

Although he knew well enough that that veto had been fully deserved, Steinarius felt humiliated by the treatment he'd received from the most famous blacksmith of Skyrim. Fine, he had let the man's favorite hammer slip into the fire of the Skyforge, but he hadn't done that on purpose!

Unfortunately, despite the Imperial's pleas and protests and his long talks with Kodlak, Eorlund stood his ground – he would never allow that clumsy boy to get near his forge ever again.

Despite the blacksmith's ban, Steinarius still needed to learn how to create and repair weapons. Since Eorlund refused to teach him anything, the Imperial soon found himself in search of a new master – and Adrianne Avenicci was the only one willing to help.

The Imperial was a very fascinating woman and on a few occasions she and Steinarius even ended up in bed together. Nonetheless, after Adrianne met Ulfberth, her relationship with the young Companion turned into a simple friendship.

Steinarius liked Adrienne: she was strong and wise and beautiful and she could read his mind like an open book. Moreover, after Vigdis had been hurt, the young blacksmith had turned into a true rock for the Dragonborn: she'd helped him taking care of his woman, she'd stood by his side during Eidan's funeral, she'd even created some items to help Vigdis with her physical problems.

Thanks to her friendship with Steinarius, Adrianne was also one of the few people of Whiterun who knew the truth about the end of the Imperial's relationship with Vigdis. The unlucky couple hadn't moved to Solitude so that Steinarius could live closer to the headquarters of the Legion – actually, the once merry couple had vanished into thin air.

When the last customer finally left the shop, Steinarius took a step ahead and unshed his hood. After finding out about the reason for his visit, Ulfberth was quick to lead him to Adrianne.

Surprisingly enough, the talented blacksmith was still sleeping in her comfortable bedroom. She put on a dressing gown, then she welcomed Steinarius at her breakfast table.

"Ulfberth and I are trying to have a child", she confessed after a few minutes of small talk. "Unfortunately, all that physical activity is tiring me out".

Steinarius couldn't help but express his enthusiasm for the news. As he did, however, he felt a bittersweet tingle at the back of his mind - although he was still stuck in his past, all his friends were moving on with their lives.

When Adrianne asked him what had brought him to Whiterun, the Dragonborn sighed. It was time he told her the truth.

"I wanted to talk about Vigdis".

As soon as he uttered the name of his long-lost-fiancée, Steinarius noticed a mixture of tenderness, reproach and regret in Adrianne's hazel eyes.

"Steinarius, it's been more than three years since you last saw her", the woman carefully said. "You shoud…"

"This time I'm not here to cry", Steinarius abruptly interrupted the blacksmith. "This time I need your advice on something entirely different. I… I think I've found a woman I fancy".

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius could clearly notice the the shock in Adrianne's eyes. After a few seconds, however, the woman's frown was replaced by a malicious and satisfied smile.

"May I have the honour to know more about the lucky one?", the blacksmith asked while blinking her eye.

Steinarius was quick to oblige.

"Her name is Agda. She's an innkeeper in Riverwood, but she was born and raised in Anvil".

"Do I know her?"

Steinarius shook his head.

"Agda visits Whiterun on very seldom occasions. She doesn't even know how to swing a sword, therefore I don't think she's ever been to your shop".

"I guess she must have other qualities, then".

"Agda is the best alchemist I've ever come across in my life", Steinarius sternly nodded. "She's friendly and sweet and has this happy-go-lucky attitude that I absolutely adore. She easily trusts people, she loves every little part of her life, she's always ready to aid and soothe all those who are in need of solace and help. She's the most generous person I know and, although she may look like a simpleton, she's actually the most observant girl in Skyrim. She's very funny and she's always smiling, even when she's tired or sad or worried. She's…"

"She's quite different from Vigdis, then", Adrianne chuckled. "I knew your woman for many years, but I never saw her smile".

As he noticed the amused look on the blacksmith's face, Steinarius couldn't stifle a smile. Vigdis had always been a mysterious, broody, enigmatic, sometimes even unsettling warrior; Agda, on the other hand, was as calm and legible as the crystal-clear waters of Lake Ilinalta. Nonetheless, that didn't make her less interesting at all.

"It seems that you've found a true treasure hidden in the forests of the Hold", Adrianne smiled as Steinarius kept on telling her about Agda's qualities. "Yet, I can sense that there is something that worries you".

As he heard those words, the Dragonborn couldn't help but sigh and lower his gaze.

"I thought I was ready to forget Vigdis once and for all, but it looks like I'm not", he confessed after teling Adrianne about his recent hallucinations. "Agda has feelings for me, but I like her too much to run the risk of hurting her".

There was a moment of silence, then Adrianne sighed.

"Steinarius, I don't want to be harsh on you, but I think that you need to realize the truth", she slowly said. "I've known you since you were seventeen, and I knew Vigdis too. She was a proud woman, one who would never allow anyone or anything to hurt you or make you feel bad. She loved you more than her own life and she left you because she thought that your love wasn't as strong as hers. She thought hers to be a selfless choice, but unfortunately it turned out to be a huge mistake on her part, as you clearly can't stand living without her. Nonetheless, that doesn't change anything. _Vigdis left you_ , Steinarius, and no one knows what's been of her. You've always acted altruistically after her incident, but your generous attitude didn't pay off. For once, my friend, you should try and be selfish. Forget your fiancée and try your luck with this Agda. She knows about your past and, if she really is as clever as you say, she's already understood that you're a very complicated man. Nonetheless, she may be willing to give you a chance and finally heal your wounds".

As Adrianne stopped talking, Steinarius felt as though a great weight had been lifted off his chest. Later, as he walked back to Riverwood, he finally made up his mind.

He was going to give himself a chance to be happy.


	24. Release

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I thank all those who are reading/following/favoriting this story, thus showing me their support and their interest for this fanfic. A special mention goes to Guest, Elspeth, Ghost1017, Irishman and Cyclone160 for their lovely reviews. Dear Elspeth is perfectly right: Steinarius is a veeeery complicated man, and we'll see more of that later in the story. As for Irishman's remark, I was glad that you noticed that many of my chapters have t** **itles related to songs. _No rest for the wicked_ is an Oblivion quest, but it is also a song by _Cage the Elephant_. Were you thinking of that?**

 **Back to the story, I have to say that I'm very excited about this chapter and I'm looking forward to reading your reactions. It was a** **mong the first instalments I wrote for this fanfic and it has** **a little warning for sexual references.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

As Steinarius pushed open the door to the _Sleeping Giant_ , he noticed that the main hall of the inn was strangely crowded. Apparently, a huge group of adventurers had decided to spend the morning in the cozy tavern.

The Imperial smiled at the sight of Orgnar bringing a plate of fried eggs to one of the customers, then sat down at a table and started crunching the loaf of bread Adrianne had kindly given him while he was in Whiterun. Given that the inn was unusually crowded, the man didn't even bother looking for Agda. When all the customers had taken their seats, however, Steinarius got up and walked towards the counter. As he caught a glimpse of Agda, he stopped dead in his tracks and felt the ridiculous urge to rub his eyes.

Agda wasn't a striking beauty – sure, she had a pretty face and a wonderful smile, but she couldn't compete with most of the women Steinarius had met in Skyrim. Nonetheless, as soon as he saw her that morning, the Imperial was quick to change his mind.

Agda's dark blond curls, which were usually tied in a ponytail, were now loose on her shoulders. The girl's complexion seemed healthier than usual, whereas her brown eyes looked bigger and her lips redder – apparently, the young innkeeper had relied on the special kind of war paint that many women used to make their features more attractive. On top of that, she was sporting an elegant dress that immediately drew Steinarius' attention.

Agda usually wore plain clothes that hid most of her figure and made her look chubbier than she actually was. That morning, however, she was wrapped in a tight brown dress that perfectly underlined her ample bosom and the soft curves of her hips. The dress also left her shoulders bare, so that everyone could admire their elegant shape. As the girl moved, Steinarius realized that she was wearing new boots that made her look taller than usual.

When she noticed her Imperial friend, Agda immediately walked up to him. She told him she'd prepare Horker Stew for lunch, then she suddenly took in his blank expression. As she spoke, Steinarius noticed the little copper rings around her ears.

"Is everything alright?"

Prompted by that question, Steinarius was finally taken back to present.

"What? Oh, yes, everything is alright, it's just… You look stunning, Agds, you really do. I'm… I'm amazed".

As the girl blushed, Steinarius realized he'd just said something really stupid. At the same time, he realized that he loved it when Agda's cheeks suddenly flushed red.

"I'm afraid that this dress is too much for my job", the girl sheepishly admitted. "Nonetheless, I couldn't wait to wear it. It's a gift from my parents, just like the shoes and the makeup. The earrings, on the other hand, are from Erik. Apropos, the damn things are hurting like hell".

As she spoke, Agda cast a spell to take off the copper rings around her ears. When she finally reached her goal, she closed her eyes and sighed in relief. Steinarius, on the other hand, frowned at the mention of Erik.

"This afternoon I'll change into something more comfortable", Agda said as she massaged her sore ears. At that moment, Steinarius realized that many of the customers were looking at her with hungry eyes. "Birthday gifts aren't meant for everyday life".

Upon hearing those words, Steinarius' jaw abruptly dropped open. _Had Agda just talked about birthday gifts?_

"My namesday was a week ago", the innkeeper said in reply to his confused look. "My parents sent me this dress from High Rock, whereas Adaeze sent me some hot cocoa. Erik instead provided me with these earrings".

 _And I didn't buy you anything_ , Steinarius sheepishly thought. _You saved my life, yet I didn't buy you anything_.

After a quick calculation, the Imperial felt his face become as red as a tomato. Not only had he forgotten about Agda's birthday - he had also forced her to spend the night of her namesday listening to his confused rants about his previous fiancée. Once again, Steinarius felt like a tactless mudcrab.

"Agds, I had no idea…"

Agda chuckled, then she laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. As she got closer, Steinarius noticed that her scent was even sweeter than usual.

"You _couldn't_ have an idea, Stein", the innkeeper smiled. "I never told you about my namesday".

Despite Agda's words, Steinarius still felt very uncomfortable. By the time he retreated into his room, he had already made up his mind.

He was going to get Agda the best present ever.

* * *

It was late evening when Agda finally left her workplace and followed Steinarius outside the inn. The young girl had no idea where the Imperial was taking her and was wearing her new brown dress and the necklace he'd bought her for New Life Festival.

As they walked towards their destination, Steinarius couldn't help but feel nervous. That afternoon he had visited Lucan, thus discovering that the group of adventurers who had spent the morning in Riverwood had sold him a lot of magic books. As predictable, Steinarius had been quick to buy them as a birthday gift for Agda.

While looking for the perfect way to provide the girl with the present she so clearly deserved, the Dragonborn had come across a little natural terrace at the end of the south-western road of Riverwood. Happy with his discovery, Steinarius had gone back to Lucan and had brought two bedrolls and a little tray full of sweets to that stunning place. As he'd returned to Riverwood a few hours earlier, Steinarius hadn't been able to stop grinning at the thought of the great surprise he had prepared for Agda.

For the hundredth time in his life, Erik would be forced to watch and learn from the master.

* * *

That evening, when they finally reached their destination, Agda reacted even more enthusiastically than Steinarius had predicted.

As she took in the sight of the bedrolls covered with furs, of the little fire crackling in the corner, of the tray full of sweets and mead and brandy, the girl produced a little surprised squeal. Then, when she noticed the pile of books Steinarius had bought her and the goofy birthday message he'd written with a few pebbles, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in a tight embrace. The Dragonborn couldn't help but feel his heart swell with joy and happiness and relief.

The two friends sat down on the bedrolls ad ate the sweets Steinarius had provided. The Imperial had been unable to remember whether Agda liked sweetrolls better than boiled cream, therefore he'd bought a little bit of both. Luckily enough, that choice was very successful.

As he and Agda had dinner, Steinarius made sure they talked about innocent topics such as the weather, Erik's recovery, the way Embry had spilled his tankard of mead all over Gerdur. The two of them later chatted about their day, about Steinarius' trip to Whiterun and Erik's shorter trip to the Standing Stones. Eventually, when Agda mentioned her family – which was formed by two loving parents, one sister and a brother -, Steinarius couldn't stop the question that had been haunting him ever since he'd made up his mind about the girl.

"You've never told me anything about the men from your past", the Imperial said while trying to pull a disinterested face. "Was there anyone special? Anyone who still holds a place in your heart?"

Confronted with that unexpected question, Agda grimaced. When she noticed her reaction, Steinarius feared that his enquiry had been too blunt.

"There wasn't anyone special", the girl admitted after a seemingly long interior debate. "I'm afraid I've never been in love – or at least, no one has ever loved me _back_ ".

Prompted by the gleaming curiosity in Steinarius' eyes, Agda sighed.

"All the men I fancied back in Anvil treated me as if I were some sort of unpleasant ghost. They never bothered with the weird Nord who couldn't even swing a sword. As a consequence, all my experiences with men were simply horrible. Even my first time was a mess".

Agda suddenly blushed. Nonetheless, even if she hadn't planned to tell Steinarius about that, she didn't stop her tale.

"It happened a few years ago, with a sellsword my father had paid to escort one of his caravans. He wasn't handsome, he wasn't young, I don't even remember what he looked like. I only remember that he asked me for a dance during a feast and that a few minutes later I was kissing him. That very same evening I gave myself to him. He was drunk, but I wasn't. I was perfectly sober, yet I behaved like a harlot".

There was a moment of silence, then Steinarius slightly raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that was rather…"

"Wretched? Despicable? Sordid? I know. I still regret that decision and I wish I could go back in time and change things. Unfortunately, I can't".

Taken aback by Agda's harsh reaction, Steinarius frowned and gently laid a hand on her forearm. The girl seemed weirdly sensitive about that topic.

"Agds, I wasn't going to judge you", the Imperial cautiosly told her. "Actually, I don't remember my first time either. I had just joined the Companions and I was completely drunk after one of our feasts. As much as I know, it might have happened with a bear".

Agda raised one eyebrow.

"If you don't remember anything, how do you know it happened?"

Steinarius chuckled.

"Firstly, on the following morning I was completely naked. Secondly, I had bite marks in lots of very, err, private places. Thirdly, my bed was a total mess. Last but not least, my lips were covered by a a weird red substance".

Agda tried to imagine the scene: a young Steinarius waking up after a booze to find his naked body covered in bite marks and war paint. Although she tried her best, the girl couldn't stifle a chuckle.

When Steinarius frowned, Agda thought she had somehow managed to anger him. A second later, however, the Imperial burst into laughter. He had a booming and contagious laugh that soon brought a wide smile on Agda's lips. The girl loved it when her best friend was happy.

"Was there anyone else for you?", she suddenly asked him. "After Vigdis, I mean".

Steinarius was quick to shake his head.

"Not really, Agda. Every time I tried to lay with a woman, I was always overrun by the memory of Vigdis. She was my first true love and that's something I can't easily forget".

"This morning you left very early. Did the usual nightmares trouble you or…"

Steinarius shook his head again. The moment he had been waiting for all day had finally arrived.

"I just needed some time to think, Agds", he slowly said. "And I've come to the conclusion that I can't keep on dwelling in the past".

There was a short moment of silence, during which Steinarius gathered all his courage.

"There is one girl I fancy right now, but she doesn't know anything about my feelings", he somehow managed to mutter. "Moreover, I don't think I'll ever tell her, as she doesn't deserve to be with someone as troubled as me. I'd do everything to make her happy, sure, but I don't know whether I'll achieve my goal. Moreover, I don't want to hurt her".

There was a long moment of silence, during which Steinarius furiously chewed on the inside of his cheek. Part of him wished that Agda had taken the hint, part of him wished she hadn't. Nonetheless, everything was better than that maddening silence.

As Steinarius finally dared to look at her, the young innkeeper was already staring at his face.

"I think that your girl needs to make her choice on her own", she whispered.

And with those words, Agda leant towards the Imperial and seized his lips in their first kiss. It was quick and clumsy and weird and by the time the girl pulled away Steinarius still hadn't understood what was happening. Nonetheless, as soon as he saw Agda's embarrassed expression, the Dragonborn chuckled and grinned.

His girl had made the right choice.


	25. In your arms

**Author's note:**

 **First things first, a huge _thank you_ to all my followers/readers/reviewers. The special mention of the day goes to the lovely AnonymousFangirl01 - I'm very glad that you enjoyed my previous chapter and I hope you'll like this one too. Also, I deeply thank my faithful Elspeth for her enthusiasm and her interesting questions. ****Steinarius told Agda about his feelings while he was still recovering from the vampire attack, which is also the reason why he was stuck in Riverwood long enough to realize that he was ready to give the girl a chance. Unfortunately, the dragons haven't stopped roaming Skyrim just because our Dovahkiin is in love and that will lead to some serious problems. I'm going to deal with that in the next two chapter, therefore stay tuned to find out more. For the moment, here's a fluffy instalment related to the first days** **of Agda and Steinarius' relationship - after all, I think they needed some peace before Steinarius resumed his difficult role as the savior of Skyrim.**

 **For all those who don't like romance, here's some good news: t** **his instalment marks the end of the first part of this fanfic. In about three chapters time** **, things will undergo a drastic change and there will be a lot more adventuring (yay!).**

 **Last but not least, this instalment has a tiny warning for sexual situations. It's nothing you won't find in the average romance novel, therefore it shouldn't scare anyone away. If you have a problem with that kind of content, however, please let me know.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **5th of Rain's Hand, 4E 202**

The night after Steinarius and Agda's first kiss was both tender and awkward. The two of them remained side by side until dawn, giggling stupidly at each other and exchanging many sloppy kisses that made Agda blush and forced Steinarius to fight hard against his inner wolf. After three years of rest, the beast namely couldn't wait to unsheathe his rusty claws and destroy the brown dress Agda was wearing.

Although part of his rational self felt that very same desire, Steinarius somehow managed to remain in control. It did help that Agda wasn't an experienced kisser – when the Dragonborn not-that-subtly suggested she nipped his lower lip while they kissed, for example, the girl bit him hard enough to draw blood.

Unfortunately, Agda's poor amatory skills weren't the only reason why Steinarius managed to keep his lust at bay - as a matter of fact, the man still couldn't kiss Agda without thinking of his former woman. As a consequence, every time Steinarius pulled away from the young innkeeper, he always expected to open his eyes and be greeted by Vigdis' dark irises.

"Are you alright?", Agda asked after a particular long kiss. Before Steinarius could voice his surprise for that question, the girl talked again. "You seem a bit stiff when I touch you. You can kiss me with your eyes open, if that makes you more comfortable".

Steinarius was impressed by the way Agda had immediately realized that he couldn't fully relax against her lips - and he was even more impressed by her silent understanding of the inner works of his mind. Willing to make his own distress disappear, the Dragonborn accepted the girl's advice and tried to kiss her while keeping his eyes open. Thanks to that trick, the treacherous memory of Vigdis finally ceased to disturb him.

Steinarius and Agda didn't go far on their first night together – rather than ending up in the same bed, they namely preferred behaving like two teenagers who had just shared their first kiss.

When dawn finally approached, Agda laid her head on Steinarius' shoulder and intertwined her fingers with his. After she let out a loud yawn, the Imperial gently kissed her temple.

"It looks like someone will have a tough time at work today", Steinarius murmured with a light smile.

Agda whimpered in protest, then she rubbed her cheek against the thin fabric of his shirt.

"It's not my fault if it took you so long to ask me out", she jokingly complained.

"You could have asked me out too, Agds", Steinarius chuckled. "And then, I thought you had a thing for Erik".

Agda straightened her spine at the sudden confession. The look on her face was both surprised and amused.

"The mighty Dragonborn is afraid of a farmer?", she asked with a giggle. Behind her snicker, Steinarius could tell that Agda was flattered by his jealousy. "By the way, I couldn't ask you out, _Dragonborn_ ", the Nord added with a smile. "What if you got angry and shouted me out of the inn?"

Steinarius chuckled at the image described by Agda; at the same time, however, the girl's words reminded him of his duty as the Dragonborn.

As soon as she noticed the sad smile on the Imperial's lips, Agda understood that her words had slightly ruined his mood. In an attempt to fix her mistake, the girl placed a gentle kiss on her lover's cheek.

"Don't think about your future", she softly whispered as her fingers gently cupped Steinarius' face, thus forcing him to look in her deep brown eyes. "Not tonight, at least. Let this night be ours, and ours alone".

And with that, Agda seized Steinarius' lips in the longest kiss they had shared until that moment.

* * *

The following week went by smoothly. Agda and Steinarius returned to Riverwood in great secrecy and did their best to hide the blooming romance between them. Nonetheless, their little displays of affection didn't go unnoticed. Moreover, the townsfolks soon realized the the mighty Dragonborn often sought advice in their little innkeeper, a fact that deeply surprised them.

Despite the latest developments of his relationship with Agda, Steinarius hadn't forgotten his duty as the savior of Skyrim. In those days he was supposed to be looking for a Shout that could force dragons to land, but he still hadn't found the willpower to meet the Greybeards and ask them about it - after all, the discovery of that Shout could only bring him closer to the final battle against Alduin, which was very likely to result in his death and in the ultimate downfall of Nirn. As a consequence, at the current moment the Dragonborn believed that rebuilding the Blades was a much more appealing task. Also, he thought that the creation of an experienced team of dragonhunters could help the population of Skyrim in their fights against the foul beasts that had taken to haunt their land.

Since Steinarius wanted to create a squad formed by a mage, a warrior and an archer, Agda quickly arranged a meeting between him and Faendal. At first the Dragonborn wasn't sure of the Bosmer's ability; yet, after hunting with him and Erik on a few occasions, he realized that the elf was exceptionally good – not as good as Aela, sure, but he could definitely stand his ground in a heated battle. Moreover, Faendal had been looking for a new job ever since Camilla bedded the latest addition to the townguards of Riverwood, thus offending the sensitive Bosmer.

One evening Steinarius gathered the courage to tell Faendal and Erik about his desire to turn them into the newest members of the Blades. As the warriors chatted in the secret room of the _Sleeping Giant_ , Agda made sure that no one overheard their conversation. Long after midnight, Steinarius reached the counter of the inn and asked for three tankards of mead, thus letting his woman understand that Erik and Faendal had accepted his offer. As Agda took in the Dragonborn's relieved expression, she couldn't help but kiss him lightly on the lips.

Steinarius talked to Faendal and Erik until the inn was empty and his girl had retreated inside her room. When Faendal finally got home and Erik wearily staggered towards his own mattress, the Dragonborn was quick to push Agda's door open and face the darkness that was reigning inside it. After the long talks of that evening, the man wanted to spend some quality time alone with his lover.

Unlike Agda, Steinarius didn't know how to produce little globes of magical light. Nonetheless, he tried to make his way through her room even if he couldn't see where he was going. Faithful to his traditional clumsiness, after a few seconds Steinarius dramatically smacked his knee into the end of Agda's bed, a fact that caused him to curse and immediately startled the woman awake. When the young innkeeper realized what had just happened, she had to stifle a laugh.

Hopping on his uninjured leg, Steinarius eventually managed to sit down next to Agda. With a light chuckle, the girl lit the few candles in her room; a moment later, when she noticed that Steinarius was trying to pull a stoic face despite the pain in his knee, she used another spell to cure the bruise on his leg. As the Imperial growled in bliss, the girl smiled and laid down again.

"I thought you'd never stop talking", she said as Steinarius thanked her with a light kiss on her cheek.

Willing to make it up to Agda for disturbing her sleep, the Imprial allowed his hands to run up and down her spine, causing her to let out a pleased series of whimpers.

"I'm sorry if it took me so long", Steinarius said as he kept on massaging Agda's back.

The girl was laying on her stomach and looked surprisingly tired. As he took in her exhausted expression, the Dragonborn felt guilty for waking her up.

"If you want me to leave, just say it", he told her after tucking her hair behind her ears. "We can chat together tomorrow morning, if you prefer".

Moved by Steinarius' worry for her, Agda smiled against her pillow. A second later, she realized something very important - every time the Imperial was near her, her tiredness seemed to disappear.

* * *

Steinarius was slightly surprised when Agda unexpectedly propped herself on an elbow, and he was even more surprised when she grabbed the front of his shirt and seized his lips in a passionate kiss. It looked as though the girl had got tired of his slow ministrations and had decided to take matters into her hands.

With a light whimper, Agda fell back on the bed without releasing her grip on Steinarius' clothes. The Dragonborn eagerly followed her movements and soon found himself hovering above her.

Steinarius growled when Agda slid her hands under his shirt, thus brushing his abdomen with her cold fingers. Noticing his reaction, the girl smiled against his lips, then proceeded to caress the taut muscles of his back, chest and shoulders. As he reveled in the feelings that were running through him, Steinarius couldn't stifle a groan - it had definitely been too long since the last time someone had handled his body in that way.

Worried by the way the Imperial's arms were shivering, Agda changed their position and went to straddle his hips. The girl goofily unbuttoned his shirt, thus revealing Steinarius' torso and the pale traces of his scars. Now that Agda's face was lit by the candles, the Imperial realized that she often looked up at him, as if to ask for permission to touch him. When the girl blushed after causing a pleased moan to leave his lips, Steinarius sat up and took her in a deep kiss.

The two lovers explored each other's body for a long time, trying to understand what their weaknesses and their preferences were. Steinarius gasped when Agda nipped his neck, when she brushed his nipples, when she traced the hem of his breeches with her cold fingers. Later he studied the way the Nord whimpered when he grazed her earlobes with his teeth, the way she shuddered when he nuzzled her stomach, the way her breathing got frantic when he firmly stroked her thights. Eventually, when Agda whispered his name and arched her back, Steinarius chuckled.

"If you want, we can stop here", he teased her after placing a little kiss on her hipbone. "You're very tired, so you clearly don't want me to bed you..."

"If you stop here, I'll kill you".

Steinarius was amused by Agda's harsh reply, and he was even more amused when the girl suddenly frowned and asked him how he was doing. She clearly couldn't tell a serious question from a joke.

"I'd say that I'm enjoying myself", the Dragonborn smirked. "My breeches are about to…"

When Agda frowned again, however, Steinarius realized that her enquiry had been serious. _The poor thing is worried for me_ , he suddenly realized, and that was enough to fill his heart with tenderness.

"I'm fine, Agds", Steinarius smiled after placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm doing better than I thought, actually. I hadn't expected to come this far after our first week together; also, it is very sweet of you to enquire about my feelings. And before you ask, I don't want to stop either".

After saying those words, Steinarius went on to kiss Agda's lips, to feel the soft curves of her breasts, to stroke every inch of her skin. A few minutes later, he took her for the first time.

It was sweet and clumsy and tender and Steinarius couldn't help but smile at the cooing sounds Agda made during their union. She had guided him to her entrance with shaking hands and at that point the Dragonborn had taken some time to reassure her with kisses and sweet soothing words. Even as their bodies became one, Steinarius made sure to be gentle, to look his lover in the eyes, to ignore the growls of his inner wolf. The Dragonborn soon felt Agda shudder underneath him, he saw her eyes close in bliss, he heard her voice whisper his name. Then, after pulling away at the very last moment so that that night wouldn't bear any consequence, Steinarius hugged the girl and held her close to his heart.

* * *

"I like this scar", Agda whispered as she traced the pale mark on Steinarius' sternum.

The two of them were lying naked under their blankets and had just resumed their calm breathing after making love to each other for the first time. Steinarius was gently kissing the top of her head, whereas Agda was exploring his torso with the soft touch of her fingertips.

"I hadn't noticed it before", she added as she took a closer look at the Dragonborn's chest.

"Yet you saw me naked when you saved my life", Steinarius teasingly pointed out while raising an eyebrow. "And that scar is quite big".

"I saw you naked, sure, but I tried not to look too hard. I thought you wouldn't appreciate that".

As he noticed that Agda had frowned in embarrassement, Steinarius chuckled and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"One day I'll tell you about all my scars", he whispered as he looked into her deep brown eyes. Thanks to the flickering light of the candles, he could see himself mirrored in them. "And you will tell me everything about yours".

"Stein, I'm an innkeeper", Agda pointed out. "I don't have scars!"

As he realized that the girl was right, Steinarius let out a chuckle. The two lovers talked for a while, then the Imperial cuddled her and lulled her in his arms until Agda fell asleep, oblivious to all the problems of the world.

That night, as he watched how the girl clung to him in her sleep, Steinarius finally felt at peace with himself. Agda was soft and warm and protective and always managed to soothe him, to reassure him, to make him feel like an ordinary man should. To her, Steinarius Crepusculus wasn't the mighty Dragonborn, wasn't an officer of the Legion, wasn't a former Companion – to her, Steinarius Crepusculus was simply _Stein_ , a young man with many flaws and a few qualities who always managed to make her laugh with his clumsiness.

Thanks to the girl whose head was now resting above his heart, for a brief moment Steinarius could forget all his troubles. For once, all that mattered was the woman asleep in his arms, the woman who symbolized a future when dragons and wars and the losses of the past would be nothing but a memory and he, the Dragonborn, would finally go back to being just another young man with a troubled story behind and a wonderful woman by his side.


	26. A day in the life

**Author's note:**

 **After a short break, here we are with the second part of this story, which begins two weeks after the end of the first one. A special mention goes to Guest for giving me the inspiration to write Steinarius' dream, and to Elspeth for her usual support and her important opinions.**

 **There's a** **warning** **for language and angst. Also, this is the longest chapter I've ever written - after all, it takes a lot of words to explore Steinarius' complicated mind.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **26th of Rain's Hand, 4E 202**

 _The wild forest around Falkreath was as beautiful and fascinating as ever. Masser and Secunda were shining in the clear summer sky, thus casting their dim light on a little clearing by a pond. On its shores, two lovers were walking hand in hand._

 _As he embraced Agda, Steinarius couldn't stifle a laughter. The Imperial kissed her, caressed her, nibbled at her skin until the girl was a writhing mass he held tight in his arms. A minute later, when Agda pulled away and made to shed her dress, Steinarius felt the usual rush of lust and love and tenderness that always accompanied that gesture. Before the girl's clothes could fall to the floor, however, the magic of that clear summer night was broken by a scream._

 _Steinarius was taken aback by the terrified yell Agda produced shortly after. The girl had turned pale and was shivering as though she'd just seen a ghost. When the Dragonborn looked over his shoulder, he immediately realized the reason for Agda's distress - not far from him, a scary figure was observing them from the shadows._

 _The creepy stranger was a woman wearing a charred armor adorned by a little wolf-like symbol. She had a lean figure and was and was so skinny that her limbs resembled pale bones with nothing but a few inches of skin attached. As the intruder took a step forward, Steinarius also realized that she had dark brown hair full of knots and dirt._

 _Before the Imperial could overcome his surprise, Agda fell to the ground with a sharp cry of pain. Worried and confused, Steinarius made to crouch beside her, but was taken aback by the unexpected speed of the mysterious woman who had startled Agda in the first place. Baring her teeth, the stranger leaped over the Imperial and started wrestling with him on the dewy grass of the clearing._

 _As he fought for dear life, Steinarius realized that his opponent was completely covered in scars. There was a huge gash on her neck, another one on her cheek, a last one across her right eye. Her left iris, the only one the Imperial could see at the moment, was as black as a starless night. That detail allowed Steinarius to trace the identity of the woman: eyes widened in fear and rage and disbelief, the Dragonborn whispered the name of his former fiancée._

 _Vigdis seemed to go crazy as she heard her name coming from the lips she'd once been used to kissing. She yelled in desperation, then she unexpectedly abandoned the fight, thus allowing Steinarius to get back on his knees._

 _Although his heart was screaming for him to help Agda, the Imperial realized that Vigdis was about to attack him again. With a frown, he also noticed that the body of his former fiancée was violently shaking._

 _"If I can't have you, she won't have you either!", Vigdis groaned before bursting into a hysterical laughter. A second later, the former Companion shifted into a werewolf._

 _Steinarius was shocked by the unexpected appearance of the majestic beast he'd learned to trust over the years. Vigdis' pelt was as black as coal, whereas her eyes immediately became silver. As she charged towards the Imperial, Steinarius was quick to change and face the huge creature that was threatening his life and his happiness._

 _The fight was long, as both werewolves were determined to seize the victory for themselves. As he snarled at his enemy, Steinarius couldn't stop thinking about Agda, who was still lying unconscious behind him. If Vigdis had harmed her, his revenge was going to be terrible._

 _The clearing in the forest was soon filled with growls and howls and sharp whines of pain. The werewolves lunged at each other's throat, used their claws to cut through pelt and skin and muscle, bared their teeth to spill the blood of their former mate. After many endless minutes, Steinarius miraculously managed to strike the winning blow._

 _As the grey wolf snapped her spine in two, Vigdis let out a heart-breaking howl. Before she faced death, however, the woman made one last effort to return to her human form._

 _"If I can't have you, she won't have you either", she repeated. This time her voice was nothing but a whisper._

 _Steinarius didn't bother listening to those evil words. He would have liked to thrust his sword in the chest of the woman who had ruined his life, but the worry for Agda got the upper hand. As the Imperial reached for her, he immediately cradled her face in his hands and looked for her pulse point._

 _When Steinarius realized that Agda was no longer alive, he felt as though his heart had just burst into flames._

* * *

It took Steinarius a few moments to recover from his nightmare. In an attempt to calm his frantic heartbeat, the Imperial sat up on his bed and took his head between his hands. There was a movement on the left, then Erik spoke. The boy's voice was hoarse and sleepy.

"Is everything alright?"

Steinarius was too shocked to reply. Faendal and Erik exchanged a worried glance, then stood up from their beds. As Steinarius took in their puffy eyes and their tired faces, he felt embarrassed for the way he'd just startled them awake for the third time in the same night.

"I-I'm fine", the Dragonborn muttered. "I just had another bad dream. T-there's nothing to worry about".

The other members of the Blades didn't believe him. In a weak attempt to soothe the distressed Imperial, Faendal laid a hand on his forearm and cast a weak calming spell, whereas Erik provided him with some water.

"I can fetch Delphine, if you want", the red-haired warrior said. "She'll give you a sleeping draught, if you ask nicely".

Steinarius shook his head. The last thing he needed at the moment was for Delphine to fuss about his mental health.

"I just need some fresh air", the Imperial said as he stood up and covered his bare torso with a blanket. "Don't worry for me: I'm perfectly fine".

Although Faendal and Erik didn't believe him, they nonetheless allowed Steinarius to leave the sleeping quarter of Sky Haven Temple. As he abandoned the suffocating warmth of the room, the Dragonborn immediately felt better.

Without bothering to put on his boots, Steinarius walked towards the backyard of the headquarters of the Blades. Delphine had done a great job with that place: thanks to her, the old Temple was now full of every kind of comforts.

As his feet came in contact with the cold floor of the main hall, Steinarius shivered and let out a brief _brrr_ noise. That sound was enough to draw Delphine's attention.

"Where are you going?"

As the Breton stood up from her chair and approached him, Steinarius fought the urge to roll his eyes. It looked as though Delphine never felt the urge to sleep.

"I just need some fresh air", the Dragonborn lied. "It's too hot in the sleeping quarter. Moreover, Esbern is snoring as loud as a cave bear".

Delphine gave him a skeptical look, but Steinarius ignored her and resumed walking. As he finally reached the back doors of the Temple, he pushed them open and inhaled the cold air of the Reach. After sitting on a nearby rock, the man let his blanket fall to the ground and rested his back against a tree.

With some luck, the freezing breeze coming from the hills would help him stay awake for the rest of the night.

* * *

Yawning loudly, Steinarius tried once again to put on the cuirass of his armor. The Imperial had spent most of the night awake, shivering and sighing and strolling around the little backyard of Sky Haven Temple in order to prevent himself from falling asleep and having another nightmare. Now that dawn had finally broken in, the Dovahkiin was ready to face the long journey back to Riverwood. First, however, he needed to find a way to keep the pieces of his armor in place.

"You're leaving".

As Delphine spoke, Steinarius didn't even turn to look at her. The Breton was standing in the doorway of the armory and looked even grumpier than usual.

"I'm talking to you, Dragonborn. I'd appreciate it if you showed some attention".

Steinarius sighed. He was sleepy and it was raining and although it was shortly past dawn he was already being pestered by the most annoying woman he knew. Moreover, the stupid straps on his Blade armor were unwilling to cooperate and keep his cuirass in place. Right then it looked as though everything was screaming at him to go back to bed and remain there for the rest of the day.

"Dragonborn, I'm…"

"I'm listening, for Talos' sake, I'm listening!", Steinarius snapped when his cuirass fell to the floor for what felt like the hundredth time. "And I would have left a lifetime ago if your stupid predecessors hadn't required their warriors to attend a special course in order to learn how to strap their armors on! Also, my name is _Steinarius_ , for Dibella's nonexisting beard, not Dragonborn! It's a beautiful Imperial name and I'd be very glad if you…"

Delphine didn't show any reaction at the outraged cries coming from the man who was helping her rebuild her Order. On the contrary, she resumed speaking before Steinarius had even stopped screaming.

"Erik has told me about your nightmares".

Those words caused Steinarius to stop yelling and finally listen to Delphine. The Imperial was completely shocked: right when he was thinking that his day couldn't get any worse, there came Erik with his babbling mouth.

"The boy should mind his own business", Steinarius hissed after overcoming his surprise. "And so should you".

"I'm just trying to help".

Confronted with those words, the Imperial chuckled.

"Delphine, you never do anything for free. If you're willing to help me, it means that you want something in return".

The Breton didn't deny the truth in Steinarius' words.

"I want to help you just because your nightmares are distracting you from your fate", she simply said. "And if you are distracted from your fate, all of us are doomed".

Steinarius let out a snort. By now he had stopped wrestling with his cuirass and was simply leaning against the wall of the armory.

"If Erik hadn't talked to you, you wouldn't have found out about my nightmares at all", he pointed out. "Therefore, I can't see why you say that they are distracting me from my _curse_ \- or however you called the fact that I'm supposed to save the world from the dragons".

Delphine wasn't in the right mood to argue with Steinarius, therefore she ignored most of his comments.

"Judging from what Faendal has said, those nightmares always follow the same pattern", she replied. "You keep on shouting something about Agda and another woman, then you wake up on the verge of tears".

Steinarius felt betrayed by the way Faendal had revealed that to Delphine – sadly enough, it looked as though Erik wasn't the only one who had problems keeping his tongue in check.

Before the Imperial could overcome his susprise, however, Delphine talked again.

"As you can imagine, Faendal has also told me about the latest developments in your love life. In a normal situation I would wish you all the best for your life with Agda; unfortunately, Dragonborn, yours _isn't_ a normal situation. You're supposed to be saving the world, not smooching with an innkeeper. Agda is distracting you and that is putting everyone's life at risk. Also, the girl may have a pretty figure, but she isn't worth so many attentions. If I'm to be honest, I think that you can do much better than that, Steinarius".

For the hundredth time over the previous few minutes, Steinarius felt the need to grab his shield and smash it against Delphine's arrogant mouth. He hated the woman, he really did – but most of all, at that moment the Imperial hated the little part of himself that fully agreed with her evil words about Agda.

* * *

The roads of the Reach were full of dangers, that much Steinarius knew. Yet, as he and his horse slowly walked west, the Imperial couldn't bring himself to focus on his surroundings.

Part of that was obviously due to his lack of sleep. Also, the Imperial still had to get used to Pansy's irregular pace. His faithful black steed had been killed during the attack on Helgen, and ever since then Steinarius had travelled through Skyrim on foot. After reaching Markarth a few days earlier, however, the Dragonborn had decided to purchase another mount.

Pansy was as sturdy and reliable as all the other horses of Skyrim. She was very young and had an unusual spotted coat that Steinarius actually didn't like. Yet, with some luck, Agda would fall in love with it and finally ask his man to teach her how to ride.

Given her lack of confidence with horses, Agda never travelled far from Riverwood. As a consequence, Steinarius was forced to visit her very often in order to spend time with her. Unfortunately, the Imperial had taken to loathing his forced trips to Riverwood: every time he spent a few days in the village, he felt as though he was wasting precious time in the fight against the dragons.

With a sigh, Steinarius forced Pansy to increase her speed. As the horse settled into a comfortable trot, the Imperial compared his love for riding to the way Agda tensed every time she was near a horse. A moment later, the Dragonborn forced himself to meditate on his nightmares.

Those unpleasant dreams had begun after the first time he slept with Agda, that much was certain. At the beginning Steinarius had believed it to be a coincidence, but after a few days he had been forced to change his mind.

 _When that vampire attacked you, you probably contracted Sanguinare Vampiris_ , Agda had reassuringly told him after he'd woken her up for the hundredth time in the same night. _Since you're a werewolf, the disease didn't take root. Nonetheless, it is causing you to suffer from these weird nightmares. Things will get better over time, Stein. You just need to be patient_.

Esbern thought Agda to be completely right, and the Dragonborn had been weirdly reassured by the old man's opinion. Unfortunately, that morning Steinarius couldn't get Delphine's words out of her mind. Thanks to them, the Imperial had namely made a tragic realization: all his nightmares showed him how void his life would be if Agda suddenly died or decided to leave him.

Steinarius knew that his worries were completely irrational, as there was no reason why Agda should risk her life or dump him or attempt on his mental health in any other way; yet, after all he had suffered because of Vigdis, the Imperial seemed unable to trust another woman.

Sadly enough, that morning there were also other things that deeply worried Steinarius. As much as he hated it, the man had to admit that Delphine was right: rebuilding the Blades was a noble task, sure, but one day he would be forced to face Alduin for good - and he clearly couldn't do that while being distracted by his love life.

 _Everything would be different if Agda were a warrior_ , the Imperial thought with a snort. If the girl knew how to fight, the Dragonborn would have already asked her to join him on his adventures, thus making everything easier for the two of them. Yet, after risking his life to save Agda's less than two months before, Steinarius knew that the young innkeeper was still too unexperienced to tackle the wilds.

As he meditated on Delphine's words, the Dragonborn smelled a foul scent coming from ahead. As he realized that he was nearing a fight, Steinarius rolled his eyes.

At that moment he deeply regretted his choice of riding towards Riverwood rather than taking a carriage.

* * *

Steinarius hated the Reach with a passion – he hated its steep hills and its wild rivers, he hated its racist inhabitants and their stone beds, he hated its Jarl and the fact that all the foulest creatures of Skyrim (Falmer and Thalmor and Hargravens and a few more) seemed to dwell in that Hold. But most of all, Steinarius hated the Reach because of the Forsworn. As a consequence, when he saw three Reachmen attacking a Nord who wasn't even wearing an armor, the Imperial hopped off his horse and immediately joined the battle.

The Forsworn were taken aback by Steinarius' arrival. The sword of the man swiftly cut its way through the chest of one of them, then it proceeded to sever the head of the closest enemy. When the last savage turned to face him, however, Steinarius was both shocked and surprised - in all his life, he had never seen a Briarheart roaming so close to the roads of the Reach.

That moment of distraction was enough for the powerful enemy to lunge at the Imperial. Slightly unsettled by the speed with which the Reachman was wielding his weapons, Steinarius reacted in the traditional draconic way: without any effort, he shouted the Briarheart off his feet.

As the force of his Thu'um echoed through the hills, Steinarius cursed – due to his lack of attention, the Nord man he was trying to help had just been fus-ro-dahded away by his shout. Nonetheless, the Dragonborn had no time to worry: taking advantage of the temporary weakness of his last opponent, he leaped towards him and thrust his sword through his chest.

As the light faded from the eyes of the Briarheart, Steinarius heard someone cry. When he looked around, he noticed a distraught woman hidden behind a juniper bush. Before the Imperial could overcome his surprise, the damsel in distress abandoned her shelter and buried her face in his armor.

"Looks like we've found a true hero".

As he turned his head, Steinarius saw the Nord man he'd helped fighting the Forsworn. The stranger was holding his ribcage and was accompanied by Pansy, who had observed the fight from safe distance. When she noticed that thin man, the lady in Steinarius' arms immediately left the Imperial and went to hug the Nord, causing him to let out a pained whimper.

After offering the man a health potion, Steinarius frowned.

"Have I hurt you?"

As he gulped the healing vial under his wife's careful gaze, the Nord shook his head.

"Quite on the contrary, I'd say that you saved me and my woman from certain death", he smiled. "The name's Enno, by the way".

Steinarius shook hands with the Nord and with his wife Tebla. The woman looked at him with a mixture of terror and respect, then whispered something into Enno's ear. The man suddenly looked unease. Under Steinarius' confused gaze, the man explained why he was so nervous.

"My wife suggested that you could help us with a problem", he said with a noticeably embarrassed tone. "You're quite good at fighting and, if Tebla is right, you are the person the Greybeards call _Dovahkiin_ ".

 _Wonderful_ , Steinarius thought with a snort. _Now that these two have recognized me, they'll ask me to retrieve some long-lost family amulet or free their house from the skeevers_.

The Imperial was in no mood for such efforts: he wanted to reach Riverwood before nightfall and was already late with his schedule. Moreover, it was raining - and Steinarius _hated_ rain.

Enno probably noticed the unenthusiastic look on the Imperial' face and immediately tried to apologize for asking him for help.

"If you aren't…"

"You're right, I'm the Dragonborn", Steinarius interrupted him. After all, there was no use in denying his identity after shouting a Briarheart off his feet less than ten minutes earlier. "What do you need?"

To Steinarius' shock, Enno and Sigurd revealed him that their campsite had been destroyed by a dragon.

"You two set up camp in the Reach?!", the Dragonborn asked in disbelief.

Steinarius was too sleepy to try and be tactful; moreover, he couldn't understand why two people in civilian clothes would choose to spend the night in a little tent in the middle of the most dangerous Hold of Skyrim.

"We're from Dragonsbridge", Enno explained. "We would like to land a job as miners in Markarth, that's why we're facing this journey".

Steinarius had the feeling that Enno wasn't telling him the truth - either that, or he and his wife were completely crazy. Nonetheless, the Imperial decided to stop enquiring about their personal life and simply asked them where they'd last seen the dragon. A moment later, Steinarius gave them some money and two of his daggers, then he hopped on his saddle and headed for Dragontooth Crater.

If there was a dragon roaming that close to Karthwasten, someone needed to intervene.

* * *

As he trotted towards his goal, Steinarius sighed. Enno and his wife had described the beast that had attacked them as a _majestic white demon made of ice and death_ – and if that meant anything, Steinarius was probably in for a tough fight against an Ice Dragon. As soon as he reached his destination, the man realized that his prediction had been correct; also, he realized that the Forsworn settlement near Dragontooth Crater was completely empty. The Reachmen were mad, but not mad enough to dwell in a fort so close to a dragon. The Briarheart Steinarius had met earlier probably came from that place.

The fight against the dragon was long and tiring. Luckily enough, a crumbling tower near the lair of the creature provided Steinarius with shelter and with a chance to rest every once in a while. Nonetheless, the Imperial soon started feeling extremely tired. His runs back and forth from the tower were wearing him out, whereas his arms were hurting because of the many times he had to use his bow. As his arrows missed the dragon for the hundredth time, Steinarius wished he could discover a Shout that would trap those foul beasts to the ground.

After many curses, the Imperial eventually managed to force his enemy to land. At that point Steinarius was quick to reach for the dragon, hop on his neck and thrust his sword through the thick skull of the creature.

When the dragon moved for the last time, Steinarius was thrown to the ground. Once there, the warrior closed his eyes and panted heavily under the falling rain. With a grimace, he thought that he was getting too old for the dragonslaying business.

When the soul of the dragon penetrated through his body and mind and soul, Steinarius fought the urge to scream: he hated the blackness that always overcame him at that moment, he hated the rush of foreign memories that flooded his brain with images of fights and fire and flying, he hated the pulsing of the Dragon tongue in his ears. As a consequence, when he underwent that process, the Dovahkin always felt on the brink of losing his mind.

Shaking, Steinarius soon forced himself on his knees. Absorbing a dragon soul always managed to heal his injuries, but it also left him feeling stressed and distraught.

As he slowly got up, Steinarius realized that the Word Wall near the dragon skeleton was attracting him with its sacred ancient mistery. At the same time, he noticed that the straps on his gauntlets had definitely caved in after his tumble. Thinking about all the efforts he'd made to put on his Blade armor that morning, the man couldn't help but let out the thousandth curse of the day.

* * *

After learning the word of a new Shout, Steinarius went to retrieve Pansy. The horse was looking at him from a safe distance and hadn't shown any interest for the battle between his owner and the dragon. That indifferent attitude was probably going to grant her a long and merry life.

Before hopping on the saddle, Steinarius realized that the straps on his cuirass were about to cave in, whereas the ones on his gauntlets had already broken. With a sigh, the man wondered about the chances to find a blacksmith so far from Markarth. He thought and he thought and he thought until the answer popped up in his mind: he could find a blacksmith in the Imperial Camp not far from that place.

Steinarius was very tired as Pansy carried him towards the little settlement. It was shortly before midday, but the man was already hungry and sleepy and exhausted. Also, he feared he would never make it to Riverwood before nightfall.

As he got closer to the Imperial settlement where he'd served less than a year earlier, Steinarius frowned: most of the tents had seemingly collapsed and no one had taken care of pitching them again. Also, there were no soldiers patrolling the area.

Before he could decide whether to write a letter to Tullius about that or not, the Dragonborn realized that those problems hadn't been caused by neglicence - quite on the contrary, the soldiers of the camp had been involved in a heated battle.

As Steinarius walked through the remains of the settlement, he felt his heart sink low in his chest. Despite the rain, the blood of the soldiers still stained the white linen of the tents, whereas the smell of decay filled the air. Piled in a corner, Steinarius eventually found the corpses of his former brother-in-arms. Most of them had been charred, so that it was impossible to recognize them.

Sickened by the sight of that slaughter, Steinarius had to sit on the ground for a few seconds. There was no way to understand who had raided the settlement, but the Imperial's money were on Ulfric and his men.

After regaining his cold blood, Steinarius started taking care of his fallen comrades. Despite the rain and the tiredness and his date with Agda later in the evening, the Imperial spent the whole afternoon at the camp, burying the dead soldiers and murmuring a few prayers to the Divines. As he thought about the death of his former brother-in-arms, Steinarius suddenly remembered what Delphine had told him that very same morning.

 _Dragonborn, yours isn't a normal situation_ , the Breton had said _. You're supposed to be saving the world, not smooching with an innkeeper. Agda is distracting you and that is putting everyone's life at risk_.

With a heavy sigh, Steinarius realized that Delphine was painfully right. Part of him had always been aware that his relationship with Agda was distracting him from his duty; the other part, however, had used the girl's love to forget about his destiny as the Dragonborn. Now that he was confronted with the consequences of his negligence, however, Steinarius couldn't help but mutter a string of nasty insults towards himself. Skyrim was at war, the dragons were roaming near the villages, Alduin was getting stronger and stronger – and rather than solving those problems, he had fallen in love with a pretty innkeeper who could nothing but cook and cast a few spells.

While rubbing his tired eyes, Steinarius realized that he had to do something about his relationship with Agda. If he wanted to save the world, he had to to fully focus on his calling as the Dragonborn - and in order to fully focus on his calling as the Dragonborn, he had to forget about his love life and resume the lonely life he'd got used to over the previous three years. And in order to do that, Steinarius needed to break the heart of the sweetest girl he'd ever known.


	27. Two sides of the same problem

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, a huge thank you to all my readers for their support - and a special mention to the faithful Elspeth for her lovely review :)**

 **Also, a little notification for my readers: I wasn't satisfied with the way this chapter turned out the first time, therefore I decided to improve it and replace the instalment I had already published. I don't like writing things that don't add anything to my story, therefore I was quite disappointed** **when I reread the original version of this chapter. Hence, here's the new - and improved - chapter 27.**

 **Sorry for the confusion, but I really hated the way this instalment turned out the first time - and I hated having it here, as it only seemed to slow the story down.**

 **Some parts of the original chapter have remained, but others have changed, especially towards the end.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **5th of Second Seed, 4E 202**

As he looked at the door of the _Sleeping Giant_ , Steinarius sighed. Part of him wished to run away from Riverwood and write Agda a quick message telling her about his decision to leave her; the other part of him wanted the Imperial to behave like a grown-up and explain the girl why he needed to break up with her. Another part still, however, had a completely different view on the entire matter.

 _I can't see why we need to break up with Agda_ , a voice on the back of Steinarius' mind suddenly complained. _If there's a connection between a pretty innkeeper and an ugly fire-spitting lizard, then I'm missing it._ _Also, Agda's the sweetest girl we've ever met. We don't want to break her heart, do we?_

 _You never listen, do you?,_ another voice immediately replied. _We've had this conversation a thousand times already. Agda may be sweet, but she's distracting us - and if we want to survive the ugly fire-spitting lizard you just mentioned, we must avoid every distraction_.

 _Of course we must avoid every distraction_ , the first voice – the one that strangely resembled Arngeir's from the Greybeards – snorted. _After all, that's why we spent the last ten days of our life in Solitude, hiding at Proudspire Manor and carrying out foolish tasks for Elisif_.

 _We needed to get our armor repaired and to tell Tullius about the destruction of the Imperial Camp in the Reach_ , the other voice commented. _It wasn't our fault if we had to wait for the General to return to Castle Dour. Moreover, we weren't running foolish errands – quite on the contrary, we saved the people of Solitude from certain death. Those psychos near Dragonsbridge wanted to relive Potema!_

 _We could have joined them. After all, we haven't forgotten our own Wolf Queen either – and that's the true reason why we're breaking up with Agda. Not because of the dragons, not because of the war, not because she's an innkeeper; we're breaking up with her because we're still in love with our former fiancée._

At that subtle mention of Vigdis, the other voice in Steinarius' mind immediately lost its temper.

 _It_ _wasn't my fault if we fell for Agda!,_ it hissed in a way that vaguely reminded Steinarius of Delphine. _Also, Vigdis' fate showed us that you clearly aren't apt at taking decisions regarding our love life. I allow you to make one important choice on your own, and see where it got us. That woman traumatized us!_

 _Oh, now it's all my fault?_ , Arngeir's voice replied. _You were the one who bedded Vigdis in the first place – and you were the one who decided to do it without taking precautions. Had you been a bit more careful…_

"Shut up, both of you!", Steinarius hissed in discomfort.

A few days earlier, while in Solitude, the Imperial had turned down a job from a man who was mumbling something about Pelagius' hipbone and a master lost between worlds. By now Steinarius knew he had done the right thing: he was already going mad on his own, so he didn't need any help to face the short road to permanent insanity.

As soon as the voices in his mind stopped bickering, the Dragonborn took a big breath. A second later, he walked inside the _Sleeping Giant_.

Madness or not, Steinarius needed to resume his fight against the dragons – and to do that, he needed to stick to his plan.

* * *

Sadly enough, Steinarius' decision to leave Agda was severely weakened by the welcoming he received from the girl. Not only did the young Nord run up to him and place a passionate kiss on his lips - she also led him to her room and made sure he could enjoy a warm bath, change into dry clothes and have dinner with a delicious soup.

Those little displays of attention caused Steinarius to cringe several times; moreover, they had him decide to remain in Riverwood for the night. After all, it was already dark and it was raining cats and dogs - also, Agda looked absolutely delighted to have her lover back in Riverwood.

"You don't know how much I've missed you", she smiled as Steinarius got out from her room and walked into the hall of the inn. "I've been waiting for you for more than a week! You got me incredibly worried, Stein: I was afraid you were injured or sick or held captive somewhere… You didn't even send me a courier to tell me you were late!"

There was a slight reproach in Agda's words, but her voice nonetheless transpired with love and sweetness and relief.

 _I haven't sent you a courier because I wanted you to realize that something was_ off, Steinarius was tempted to tell her. Nonetheless, as he took in the girl's puffy eyes, the Imperial couldn't help but feel like a very selfish person - while he was toying with her feelings, Agda had probably forsaken sleep in order to wait for his arrival in Riverwood.

When Steinarius didn't react to her words, Agda frowned.

"Are you alright, Stein? You look a bit greenish. If you need to lay down or…"

 _I'm greenish because I'm sick with myself_ , the Dragonborn thought as soon as he was confronted with Agda's remark.

Sadly enough, thinking of leaving her while he was dealing with dragons and rebels and Forsworn was surprisingly easy; yet, now that Steinarius was reunited with her, the thought of giving up on Agda seemed utterly ridiculous.

* * *

Several hours later, as he listened to the sound of the falling rain, Steinarius sighed. It was early morning and he was lying in bed with Agda. Just like every other time, the girl was sleeping with her head on his chest and her arms wrapped around his waist. That position made it impossible for the Imperial to stand up.

As he looked at the woman who was quietly resting with him, Steinarius sighed again. He had meant to reach Riverwood and tell Agda about his decision of leaving her, but the girl' sweetness had undermined his determination. Also, the nightgown Agda had worn on the previous evening had had him lose control over his mind in less than ten seconds. After succumbing to lust, however, the Imperial had spent most of the night awake, cursing his inner wolf and feeling sorry for himself and for the girl he was about to hurt.

 _You're being an asshole all over again, Crepusculus_ , one of the voices on the back of his mind suddenly accused him. _Agda is the sweetest girl we've ever met and she perfectly knows about our destiny as the Dragonborn; moreover, just because she isn't a warrior, it doesn't mean that she can't make us happy. For Talos' sake, be a grown man and accept our feelings!_

Steinarius rubbed his temples with his slender fingers. Despite the wise advice from the voice in his mind – that very same voice that resembled Arngeir's -, part of his mind thought that his life with Agda would never be good.

 _We're used to dealing with warriors who share our passion for weapons and hunting and killing, therefore we don't have anything in common with Agda_ , the other voice in his mind intervened to support those depressing thoughts. _Moreover, Agda is still too naïve to understand the importance of our calling as the Dragonborn. Last but not least, she is too dependent on our relationship with her. Nope, we definitely needed to break up with her as soon as possible. It will do all of us good, Crep_.

Before Steinarius could process those words, the girl in his arms slowly began to stir. Agda was completely naked, so that the Imperial could feel the smooth skin of her bosom press against his chest. Stifling a pleased growl from his inner wolf, the man forgot his thoughts and tucked the Nord's hair behind her ears. There was a light whimper, then Agda opened her eyes. As soon as she saw Steinarius, she smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

As he took in her blissful expression, the Dragonborn sighed. Unfortunately for him, Agda' sweetness made it almost impossible to break her heart with his selfishness.

* * *

"It's the first time you've slept without nightmares", Agda said with a satisfied smile. "I told you that it was just a matter of time before you stopped having those horrible dreams! You just needed to be patient, Stein".

When the girl crawled over his body and tried to seize his lips in a passionate kiss, Steinarius didn't react. He would have liked to tell her that his lack of nightmares simply derived from his lack of sleep, but he decided not to be too pedant about it. Noticing how absent-minded the Imperial looked, Agda stopped her ministrations and frowned. She had been awake for a few minutes now, but Steinarius had been weirdly silent and cold.

"A septim for your thoughts?", the young innkeeper asked him with an innocent tone.

Steinarius looked at the ceiling for a moment, then decided to tell Agda about some of the things that worried him at that moment.

"Agds, I'm supposed to be fighting the dragons right now. If Delphine knew that I'm smooching with you rather than fulfilling my duty…"

"If Delphine found out about us, she would simply be jealous", Agda grinned before Steinarius could end the sentence. "Every woman in Nirn would go miles to be with someone like you".

Steinarius would have begged to differ, but Agda resumed speaking before he could voice his opinion.

"As for your task of restoring the Blades, you could ask Adaeze to join - she's just left her job in Riften, therefore she's looking for a new employment. I know that you've never seen her in battle, but I can guarantee you that she's a very good warrior".

Steinarius was silent for a few seconds. Agda was staring at him, her chest pressed against his and her hands resting just beneath his collarbones. When the Dragonborn noticed the loving look in her eyes, he realized that he didn't deserve such a wonderful woman.

"Agda, after I restore the Blades, I probably won't have a lot of time for us", Steinarius murmured. At that moment, he couldn't bring himself to look the girl in the eyes. "I'll have to move to Sky Haven Temple and teach the recruits everything I know about dragons".

"That is fine with me", Agda smiled. "I'm not a jealous woman".

"I'll have to stay away for many weeks at the time".

"I could move in with you, then", the girl said with an even broader smile. "Delphine and Faendal very organized, but I believe that you, Erik and Esbern could definitely use a housekeeper – or a _templekeeper_ , since your headquarter is a temple. I could cook, clean and buy you supplies from Markarth, for example".

"Sky Haven Temple is situated near a Fornsworn camp", Steinarius pointed out. Unfortunately, Agda still hadn't understood the hidden meaning of his words. "It's not that easy to buy supplies in Markarth and bring them there. Also, in the future I'll have to face many other tasks regarding the dragons, and not all of them will involve the Blades".

"Then I'll study more Destruction magic and I'll join you in your adventures", Agda immediately replied. "I'm getting better at fighting: over the last few weeks I've taken a few trips to Whiterun and I haven't encountered any problem. With some more training, I'll be finally ready to face the wilds".

As Steinarius heard those words, he couldn't prevent himself from raising an eyebrow.

"The last time you thought that, I ended up being stabbed by a vampire".

As soon as Steinarius spoke, Agda stiffened. She clearly hadn't expected him to mention that incident again.

"You'll never let that go, will you?", she said while lowering her gaze.

There was a long moment of silence, during which Steinarius ran his hands over Agda's bare spine. The girl shivered at the pleasant feeling, but her face didn't betray any emotion.

"I just want to protect you, Agds", the man sheepishly whispered.

"And I just want to remind you that I'm a grown woman, Stein", Agda replied. Rather than angry, she simply sounded tired and hurt and disappointed. "Although you don't believe it, I am old enough to look after myself. Apropos, I'd like you to realize that you're old enough to stop making up excuses in order to hide your opinions. If you don't feel comfortable with me, just say it. There's no need to mention Alduin, the Blades or the end of the world".

Steinarius was taken aback by Agda's words. The girl could read his mind like an open book.

"Agds, it's not that I'm uncomfortable with you", he tried to protest. "It's just that…"

"It's just that you think that I'm a simple innkeeper and that I'm not good enough for a warrior like you. You'd be much happier if I were a warrior, wouldn't you? Also, you're probably afraid that one day I will harm you as much as Vigdis already has. After all you've been through with her, I can fully understand that fear. Nonetheless, Stein, I think it's time you finally moved on".

Before Steinarius could find a fitting reply, Agda surprised him by placing a tender kiss right above his heart.

"If that makes you feel better, I solemnly promise that I will never hurt you", she whispered while scorching his grey eyes with her brown ones. "I'd rather face my own death than harm you".

Steinarius was surprised by that strong declaration of love. He remembered very well Agda's behavior when the Thalmor had tortured her, therefore he knew the girl's words to be true. Unfortunately, that only managed to make him feel even worse.

 _See? I told you that she's the perfect woman for us_ , one of the voices on the back of his mind immediately said.

 _See? I told you that she's too dependent on us_ , the other voice replied.

Before the Dragonborn could defeat the confusion that was reigning in his head, his attention was swayed by a sudden knock on the door.

"Agda, are you in there? My mother is feeling bad again!"

As she recognized Sven's voice, Agda stood up with a sigh. The girl hurriedly put on one of her usual dresses, tied her hair in a pony-tail and cast a spell to hide the bite marks Steinarius had left on her neck on the previous night. With one last kiss on the Imperial's cheek, the young innkeeper left the room without uttering a single word.

* * *

When Steinarius finally found the strength to leave his bed and venture in the main hall of the inn, he was greeted by Orgnar's phlegmatic silence. The Nord handed him the usual bundle of letters, then resumed his place behind the counter.

As he slumped on a nearby chair, Steinarius sighed. He hated himself for what he was doing to Agda – the girl was right in saying that he didn't want to get hurt again, but that awareness couldn't help him defeat his doubts about their relationship. As a consequence, the Imperial felt the need to break up with Agda before her feelings for him became even deeper, thus worsening his fears and making it even harder to focus on his duty. After all, Skyrim needed a savior - and said savior needed to forsake every distraction in order to prevent the land from being overrun by dragons.

That morning there was only one thing that Steinarius loathed more than himself - the people who couldn't leave him alone for more than two days.

While flipping through the letters he'd received over the previous hours, the Imperial sighed in exhasperation. There were the usual messages from his whatshername huscarl ("I just wanted to remind you that I am sworn to carry your burden"), the routine notes from a friend telling him where to find a new Word Wall ( _will Arngeir ever learn to sign those letters?_ , Steinarius wondered with a snort), the traditional threats from Delphine ("stop messing with Agda and go fulfill your duty, otherwise I'll skin you with my bare hands").

With a loud yawn, Steinarius set all those messages aside. Before his thoughts could return to Agda, however, his attention was drawn by a little note written in a very hasty way - _Adrianne's fallen ill, she would like to meet you. Please visit us soon._

When he recognized Ulfberth's handwriting, Steinarius frowned. The man wasn't one to cry wolf and the tone of his letter seemed worryingly serious. With a concealed look on his face, the Dragonborn realized that he needed to get to Whiterun as soon as possible.

* * *

Steinarius spent the whole day in Whiterun. Adrianne had come down with a very rare disease that kept her bedridden for more than a week. By the time Steinarius visited her, the woman had already regained her health; unfortunately, her happiness was an entirely different matter.

"I fell ill a few days after discovering that I was pregnant", the young blacksmith told her best friend. "I've lost the baby".

Upon hearing those words, Steinarius was quick to hug Adrianne and tell her how sorry he was for her loss. As the woman shivered in his arms, the Dragonborn immediately realized why Ulfberth had asked for his help. Steinarius was eager to comfort the man and his wife, since that allowed him to pay them back for the support they had provided him over the previous three years; nonetheless, he couldn't help but think that Ulfberth had been quite indelicate in contacting him - of all the people the Nord knew, he had namely chosen the only one who had lost a son.

"I didn't want Ulfberth to get in touch with you, but he did it anyway", Adrianne apologized as Steinarius prepared her a light tea. "I'm sorry, Stein. This must be awful for you".

Steinarius smiled and told Adrianne that everything was alright. Since Ulfberth was busy in his shop and her father was working for the Jarl, the Dragonborn remained with the young blacksmith for the rest of the day. That evening, after Ulfberth finally returned to his wife, Steinarius decided to spend the night in Whiterun. Before booking a room at the local inn and sending a note to Agda, however, the Dragonborn made a fatal mistake.

He visited the Hall of the Dead.


	28. The thin line between love and hate

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, a huge _thank you_ to all my new readers/followers/favoriters. Also, a heartfelt _thanks_ to the great Elspeth - I am glad I managed to convey the difficulties Steinarius is experiencing while dealing with the dragons and his love life at once! Also, I'm happy to know that you liked the two voices showing his thoughts. I had a lot of fun writing that part!**

 **Before I continue, a little notification for all my readers: in case you haven't noticed, I'd like to remind you that a few days ago I replaced chapter 27 with a new, better instalment. This chapter takes up from where I left you and will show Steinarius and Agda finally deal with their problems. I'm very excited about it, so I'm very curious to read your reactions.**

 **There's a warning for language, angst (yes, Steinarius is having nightmares again) and people shouting insults at each other. **

**Nonetheless, enjoy!**

* * *

 **6th of Second Seed, 4E 202**

Everything was silent in the Catacombs of Whiterun. Steinarius slained the few skeletons that were roaming the halls, then sat down in front of his son's burial urn. The visit to Adrianne had taken a heavy toll on his mood, as the man was now thinking of his past life in Whiterun and of the experiences that had marred his life with Vigdis. With a sigh, Steinarius massaged his temples and thought about his fiancée, about their son Eidan, about Agda. Eventually, he fell asleep on the cold floor of the crypts.

He was in for a very long night.

* * *

 _Steinarius was in the Temple of Mara, waiting for someone to arrive. It was a beautiful summer morning and the place was full of light, happiness and laughter. When he looked around, the Imperial realized that his parents were sitting on a bench, just like Alvor, Sigrid and many other inhabitants of Riverwood. In the back corner of the temple there were also Delphine, Esbern, Erik and a few more members of the Blades._

 _"Ready for the great day, aren't we?"_

 _With a satisfied smile, Steinarius turned to greet Legate Rikke and General Tullius. As he talked to them, the Dragonborn saw himself mirrored in the steel of the woman's armor. At that point, Steinarius smiled - with his heavy Imperial cuirass and his best sword at his waist, he looked surprisingly handsome._

 _There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius witnessed the arrival of Maramal, the priest who was about to celebrate his wedding. Hadvar was with him, ready to vow for the love that bound the Dragonborn to his soon-to-be-wife. Steinarius and his best man exchanged a few words, but fell silent as soon as Sven the Bard began playing a solemn tune. A moment later, the doors to the Temple burst open and the crowd inside the building let out a few surprised whispers._

 _Agda looked absolutely stunning in her white dress adorned by a belt of wild flowers. The young woman slowly walked down the aisle, a bouquet of roses in her hands and her friend Adaeze by her side. When she finally reached the altar, Steinarius heard his father growl in approval. The soon-to-be-husband chuckled: Cornelius Crepusculus seemed to adore his new daughter-in-law and, despite her stern appearance, his wife Lucretia seemed to share his opinion._

 _Agda looked incredibly joyful as she finally took place beside her man. Steinarius could see her blush behind her veil, just like he could see that she was very nervous. Despite the rules, the Imperial reached out to touch her arm and reassure her with a loving smile. Unfortunately, before the ceremony could begin, everything abruptly changed._

 _There was a loud roar, then the pillars of the Temple started shaking. The candles went out and someone shouted that a dragon had just landed in the marketplace of Riften. True to his calling as the Dragonborn, Steinarius grabbed his sword and reached for the open. Before facing the enemy, the Imperial gave Agda a long hug and asked the guests of his wedding to find a safe shelter._

 _"I'll be right back", he whispered as he let go of his woman._

 _The battle against the dragon was quick, but Steinarius realized that he hadn't been able to absorb its soul. That fact made him frown, but the man decided to postpone his questions – after all, he had his own wedding to attend._

 _When the Imperial returned to the Temple, he had a very nasty surprise. The candles were still out, whereas the doors of the building immediately closed behind him. Moreover, Maramal had disappeared together with Agda and all the other wedding guests._

 _"Ready for the great day, aren't we?"_

 _As he turned his head and found himself face-to-face with Thorygg, Steinarius felt a cold shiver run down his spine. The late High King of Skyrim looked perfectly fine and was giving his friend one of his usual crooked smiles._

 _"I'll be your best man, Crepusculus", the Nord said while blinking an eye._

 _Before Steinarius could reply, the new guests filled the Temple. The Imperial recognized Kodlak, Vignar, Skjor and many other Companions; a moment later he noticed Elisif, Falk Firebeard and other people he knew from his childhood in Solitude._

 _There was a moment of silence, then the doors of the Temple burst open once again. This time the bride was a tall warrior with long dark hair and cold black eyes._

 _Steinarius deadpanned as Vigdis strode down the aisle. The woman was wearing the white silken dress he had bought her many years before and was accompanied by a child of three. As he recognized Eidan, Steinarius' heart swelled with joy. All of a sudden, the man realized that his feelings for Agda had been nothing but a faint copy of his love for Vigdis._

 _During the quick ceremony, Steinarius couldn't stop smiling at his woman. Vigdis was as beautiful as ever and, behind her cold demeanour, the Imperial could tell that she was very nervous. Eidan, on the other hand, couldn't stop giggling at the thought of the wedding cake his mother had prepared for him and his father. Just like Steinarius, the little one adored strawberries and cream._

 _When Maramal told him that he could kiss the bride, Steinarius was truly overjoyed - after all they'd suffered, he and Vigdis had finally become husband and wife. That realization made him feel proud and happy and serene._

 _As soon as he lifted the veil covering Vigdis' face, however, Steinarius felt a sharp pain in his chest. The Imperial had never experienced something like that: he felt as though a sword had just been thrust through his heart, bringing an abrupt end to the joy he'd felt just a few seconds earlier._

 _As Steinarius fell on his knees, the pain forced him to close his eyes. The Imperial heard words in a language he didn't understand, he heard someone laughing at him from the distance, he heard the deafening roar of a dragon in his ears and the desperate yells of a man asking to be avenged._

 _As swift as it had begun, everything was suddenly over. When he opened his eyes again, Steinarius realized that the Temple of Mara was now empty._

 _Beside him there were only a white silken dress, an abandoned wedding ring and the lifeless body of his son._

* * *

When Steinarius startled awake, he found himself face-to-face with Andurs, the priest of Arkay who dwelled in the Hall of the Dead.

"Hush boy, hush", Andurs said as he placed a hand on Steinarius' arm. "You've fallen asleep in the Catacombs of Whiterun, that's why you're here. I was about to wake you because you were screaming in your sleep, but you jolted awake before I could rise you. Apropos, I thank you for retrieving my amulet and killing the few skeletons in here. Next time, however, make sure to warn me if you decide to spend the night in this place: you scared the Oblivion out of me when I found you".

Steinarius mumbled an apology, then stood up from the cold floor of the catacombs. Only then did he notice the sticky substance that was covering his face. Much to his horror, the Dragonborn realized that he had burst into tears after the end of his nightmare.

"Your son's urn, isn't it?", Andurs asked while pointing at the little container next to Steinarius. Although the Imperial's face was covered in tears, the man did nothing to comfort him. "I remember his burial. I'm sorry for your loss, Crepusculus. By the way, it's nice to see that you still think about Eidan".

Unable to find a fitting reply to those words, Steinarius confusingly nodded and made for the exit of the Catacombs. His back was sorer than usual, his body felt stiff, his voice was surprisingly hoarse. Moreover, the Imperial was slightly bewildered by Andurs' behavior - for being a Priest of Arkay, the man was incredibly indelicate.

As he pushed open the door of the Catacombs, Steinarius sighed. The cold breeze of Whiterun immediately gave him relief, and so did the water running through the Cloud District. The Imperial used it to wash his face, then headed towards Dragonsreach.

He needed a job to let off steam and stop thinking about the troubled night he'd just left behind.

* * *

As he looked at the creatures he'd just killed, Steinarius sighed. He had never enjoyed slaying giants, and he enjoyed it even less after Vigdis had been badly hurt by one of them. Ever since then, the man couldn't look at those scary humanoids without thinking of her, a fact that always managed to make him feel sad.

As a consequence of his nightmare, that afternoon the Imperial's mood was even broodier than usual – and it didn't help that his fight against the giants had been followed by the arrival of an angry dragon, and that the arrival of said dragon had caused the nearby mammoths to get mad at the lanky human who was actually trying to help them against that overgrown lizard. Luckily enough, a Shout had allowed Steinarius to soothe the animals and turn them against the dragon. The beast had slain one of them and injured the other, thus making the Imperial's work much easier than predicted. Yet, as he looked at the consequences of the slaughter he had caused, Steinarius couldn't help but feel slightly unease.

After the adrenaline of the fight, the Dragonborn was now enjoying a few minutes of rest before facing the short walk back to Whiterun. Part of him suggested he found a way to carry the mammoth tusks and the dragon bones back to the city, but Steinarius was in no mood for that effort. Balgruuf had tasked him with killing the giants, and that's what he'd done – and after risking his life because of two stupid furry elephants, the Imperial felt that he had every right to relax for the rest of the day.

With a sigh, Steinarius thought about his meeting with Balgruuf earlier that morning. The Jarl of Whiterun had pretended to ignore his haunted appearance and had even been kind enough to lend him a steel cuirass from his personal armory. Proventus Avenicci, on the other hand, had taken Steinarius aside and reproached him for his tousled hair and his bloodshot eyes.

The thought of the steward caused the Dragonborn to snort. Proventus was a honest and honorable man, but over the last few years he had become less subtle at making suggestions and expressing his opinions. Unfortunately, that bluntness was often irritating.

 _Are you sure you don't need your huscarl's help?,_ Proventus had enquired after Steinarius had ignored his comments about his appearance. _Lydia is not Vigdis, but she's a very capable warrior anyway. Moreover, she has the same black eyes as your fiancée._

At the unexpected mention of Vigdis, Steinarius had felt the urge to punch Proventus in the face.

 _I don't need my huscarl's help, just like I don't need her to pester me with her letters_ , he had snarled at the baffled steward. _And rather than worrying about my appearance and my huscarl, Proventus, you'd better look after your daughter._

Steinarius had immediately felt sorry for that harsh comment. Although Proventus had raised Adrianne on his own, he'd done everything he could to grant her love, happiness and the chance to become one of the best blacksmiths of Skyrim. The steward had probably been very sorry about her miscarriage and Steinarius felt as though he'd made a terrible mistake by snapping at him. As he sat down on the grass, the Dragonborn also realized that his poor huscarl had every reason to feel neglected; as a consequence, he made himself a mental note to take Lida (or whatever her name was) on one of his next errands. That day, however, the man had definitely needed a chance to be alone with his thoughts and the wild nature of Skyrim.

With another sigh, Steinarius took off his helmet and let his hand flow through his sweaty blonde hair. He was feeling shaky, just like he did every time he absorbed a dragon soul – and it didn't help that the huge skeleton beside him constantly reminded him of his duty as the prophesized savior of Skyrim.

 _My huscarl may be unfit to help me_ , the Imperial thought as he got up and walked towards a nearby stream of water. _But I am too coward to be a good Dragonborn_.

Splaying some fresh water on his face helped Steinarius forget those thoughts. With a pleased growl, the man cleaned his armor and his hair from the blood of the dragon, then sat down on the bank of the creek. The weather was surprisingly warm and the Imperial soon shed his cuirass and his shirt to resist the increasing heat. A moment later, he took off his boots and laid on his back. Only then did he dare think about his nightmare.

Steinarius had been taken aback by the pain he'd felt as he'd jolted awake in the Hall of the Dead. It had been a horrible feeling, almost as horrible as the one he'd experienced three years earlier, when he walked home to find that Vigdis had abandoned him. At that moment, Steinarius had felt his whole life spiral out of control – he had resigned from the Companions, Thorygg had been killed, his son was dead, his fiancée had left him. That morning, as he'd woken up in the Catacombs, Steinarius had gone through those horrible feelings once again.

While rubbing his temples, the Imperial remembered the first part of his nightmare, the one in which Agda had been about to become his wife. The memory made a rush of guilt wash over him: he had meant to write a letter to Riverwood on the previous day, he really had, but the visit to the Hall of the Dead had made him forget about it. By now the girl was probably mad at him for his sudden escape from the village.

As well as making him feel incredibly guilty, thinking of Agda caused Steinarius to realize two things.

First, in his nightmare the girl's disappearance had been caused by the arrival of a dragon. Was it a way to tell him that his destiny as the _Dovahkiin_ was going to tear them apart?

While trying to find an answer, Steinarius also thought about the laughter and the screams he'd heard before opening his eyes to see that Vigdis was gone. The yells had strangely reminded him of Ulfric Stormcloak's booming voice, whereas the laughter had resembled Elenwen's, the first Emissary of the Thalmor. Was it a simple coincidence or another sign from the Divines?

With a hopeless whimper, Steinarius moved on to the last thing he'd realized thanks to his dream. As Agda had been replaced by Vigdis, the man hadn't felt any regret – on the contrary, he'd been eager to accept the change.

As he thought about that, the Imperial felt the urge to bash his head against a tree. Was Mara trying to tell him that Agda wasn't the right woman for him or was Sheogorath playing tricks on his mind?

 _Steinarius, you're being unjust_ , one of the voices in his head immediately reproached him. O _ur nightmare has been caused by all that happened to Adrianne and by our visit to the Hall of the Dead – not to mention that our beast blood makes us prone to such horrible dreams. By the way, it is unfair to compare our feelings for Vigdis to the ones we nourish for Agda - after all, we've known the girl for less than a year_.

 _Yes, but it took us just a couple of weeks to fall in love with Vigdis_ , the other voice in Steinarius' mind replied.

That comment caused its counterpart to sigh.

 _If you let Agda go, I swear I'll go on a strike_ , it threatened.

With a pained whine, Steinarius rubbed his sore eyes and hastily sat up. He didn't care about the opinion of the most rational part of his mind: thanks to his nightmare, the man had finally understood that he still wasn't ready to move on with his life, and that he needed to leave Agda before doing her even more harm.

* * *

After returning to Whiterun and talking to Balgruuf, Steinarius took his leave from Adrianne and Ulfberth.

As the Dragonborn left the city, the sun had already disappeared behind the tall mountains of Skyrim. The roads of the Hold were completely deserted and a light rain soon started to fall on the tundra. Inspired by the approaching darkness, Steinarius shifted into his werewolf and ran towards Riverwood in his beast form.

The Imperial soon realized that he had missed roaming through the woods together with his wolf. This time he didn't have any task to fulfill, nor anyone to save; therefore, he took his sweet time to hunt down a few elks and revel in the primordial feelings that were floating through his mind.

By the time Steinarius reached the _Sleeping Giant_ , it was well past midnight; nonetheless, the inn was surprisingly crowded. With a grimace, Steinarius remembered about the special evening Agda had organized to allow Sven the Bard to present the townsfolks with his new songs.

When the eyes of the villagers shifted upon him, Steinarius felt surprisingly uncomfortable. Agda had probably talked about his disappearance to Sigrid, and Sigrid had likely spread the news across the whole settlement.

While trying to get to his room without interrupting the song Sven was shouting from the top of his lungs, Steinarius cut his way through the crowd and made for the counter of the inn. As soon as he reached it, he was greeted by Agda' stern look.

"I suppose that informing me of your plans would have taken you too much effort", the girl frowned as soon as she saw him. She sounded very tired and her puffy eyes revealed that she'd probably spent the previous two days in her room, crying at the thought of her missing partner. "You could have left me a note, Steinarius. I'm unable to kill vampires, but I'm fair good at reading".

When Agda made that reference to their discussion from two days earlier, Steinarius didn't reply. The girl had every reason to be angry at him – after all she'd done for him, he had disappeared without even telling her where he was going. That behavior had been both rude and uncaring.

As Steinarius took in Agda's exhausted appearance, he felt incredibly uneasy. At the same time, he decided to postpone the discussion about their future to the following morning - the Imperial was still experiencing the aftermath of hunting as a werewolf, therefore he was afraid of saying things he was later going to regret.

"Look, Agda, I'm exhausted", Steinarius muttered while avoiding the girl's eyes. "If you'd be so nice to let me reach your room…"

The young Nord pulled an outraged look.

"Do you even listen when I talk?", she said in an angry whisper. "I was terribly worried about you, and if you think that I'll behave as though nothing has happened, then you're mistaken. I was hoping we could spend some time together here in Riverwood, instead you vanished into thin air without even leaving me a note. Do you have any idea of how worried I was? And as though your disappearance wasn't enough, yesterday I received a horrible letter from my family, telling me that..."

"Agds, I've already told you that I'm sorry", Steinarius said before the girl could end the sentence. "I had a troubled night and forgot to send you a courier. I've acted as a tactless goblin, I know, but…"

Before Steinarius could stop talking, a few tears unexpectedly left Agda's eyes. As a loud sob escaped her lips, some people turned to look at her.

Steinarius was astonished by the girl's reaction - he had expected Agda to be angry at him, sure, but he hadn't expected her to burst into tears _because_ of him. That fact only strengthened his decision of breaking up with her: if Agda couldn't stand it when he left her alone for two days, she had no chance of supporting him in his fight against the dragons.

"Agda, there's no need to cry", Steinarius told the young innkeeper. The tone of his voice was unusually harsh. "I've apologized and I've also returned to you as soon as I could. By the way, you need to learn how to keep your sensibility in check, girl. You can't burst into tears just because your man is a warrior who..."

To Steinarius' shock, something in his words managed to make the situation even worse.

"Oh, so you believe that I'm crying because of you, don't you?", Agda unexpectedly yelled.

Much to Sven's dismay, by now all the people in the inn were looking at the girl and her baffled partner. Confronted with Steinarius' dull expression, Agda rolled her eyes.

"Of course you believe that!", she continued in disbelief. "After all, you think that I'm a simple innkeeper who can do nothing but cry because her lovely man is a strong warrior who sometimes has her worried, don't you?"

Steinarius frowned.

"Agds, I didn't mean…"

"I am tired of your ego, Steinarius!", Agda broke him off with a scream. "You are so captivated by your own problems that you cannot even realize what I say! Although you didn't even ask me about it, the letter I got from my parents informed me that my brother had a serious incident while hunting. The healers say that he may die before the end of the week, that's why I'm crying like a fountain!"

As soon as Steinarius received that unexpected news, his face became as pale as a ghost's.

"Agds, I had no idea…"

"Of course you had no idea!", Agda snapped at her man. "After all, in your perfect world you're the only one who is allowed to have problems, just like you're the only one who is allowed to have a troubled past! Do you know what, Steinarius? Although it may surprise you, in Nirn there are many other people who have as many problems as you. Unlike you, however, those people pull themselves together and don't spend their nights crying over their first true love and the future the Divines have chosen for them!"

As he heard those words, Steinarius' inner wolf immediately unsheathed its claws. Agda was a young girl from a wealthy family, had never lost anyone she held dear, had never carried any responsibility – and there she was, telling him how to deal with his grief and accusing him of fussing too much about his problems.

"I didn't know that you had a difficult past too, Agda", Steinarius snarled. He didn't need a mirror to know that right then his eyes were completely golden. "Tell me, what's the worst experience you've ever had? Receiving a golden necklace rather than a silver one on New Life Festival? Oh wait, I believe I know the answer… Giving your maidenhead to a man without even bothering to ask for his name, wasn't it?"

Steinarius immediately noticed the outraged look on Agda's face, and he clearly realized that he'd just behaved horribly to her. Nonetheless, at that moment he was too angry to stop yelling.

"There's another thing I didn't know, _sweetheart_ : I had no idea that your life is as troubled as mine. Are you perhaps supposed to save Skyrim with me? If so, that's a jolly news! Tell me Agds, how do you plan to kill Alduin? Do you think that a bowl of stew and a broomstick could help? Or are you going to let me do the hard work just like you did the night I was poisoned?"

There were some outraged protests from the people inside the inn and Steinarius could hear Alvor hiss a warning in his direction. Unfortunately, right then his inner beast was preventing him from calming down. Much to his surprise, at that moment Agda looked like a feral wolf, too.

"Is that the only thing you can do, Steinarius?", the girl shouted despite the tears that were streaking down her cheeks. "Criticizing me because I'm an innkeeper and you're a warrior? It's not my fault if you're meant to face Alduin, and it's not my fault if you can't get over your past! I made a mistake the night you were poisoned, but I didn't do that on purpose!"

"Sometimes one mistake is enough to destroy one's life!"

Agda unexpectedly burst into laughter.

"Oh, I suppose you know a lot about that! After all, it took you just one mistake to make your fiancée decide to leave you! Apropos, Vigdis might have been a better warrior than me, but she dumped you and she never came back, and that means that she didn't love you at all! Why can't you just understand that?"

The mention of his fiancée caused Steinarius to lose the little calm he'd managed to keep until that moment.

"Vigdis loved me much more than you can imagine!", he screamed in reply to Agda's words. As soon as he did, the walls of the tavern trembled with the rage in his voice. "She loved me much more than anyone will ever love _you_ , with your useless magic and your hateful alchemy!"

"My useless magic and my hateful alchemy saved your life!"

"Without you, I wouldn't have risked my life at all! You're just a spoiled brat who thinks she's nicer and sweeter and better than anyone else around her. I should have let that vampire kill you, as that would have saved me a whole load of problems! Oh, and one more thing, _sweetheart_ : I really hope your brother will die, so that you will find out how it feels to lose a loved one!"

When all the people inside the inn suddenly went silent, Steinarius understood that he'd crossed the line. A second later, when Agda cast him a look full of hatred and suddenly ran outside the building, the Imperial realized that he'd lost the only person who'd been generous enough to put up with his problems.

* * *

When Sigrid ran after Agda, Steinarius tried to do the same. Nonetheless, someone immediately stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder. As he turned his head, Steinarius realized that Orgnar had a very livid face. Beside him, all the other inhabitants of Riverwood looked equally angry.

"Leave", the usual phlegmatic innkeeper ordered in a hiss. "And don't you ever come back".

As Steinarius looked around, he realized that everyone in the tavern probably wanted to punch him in the face. A moment later, Sven took a step in his direction and grabbed him by the arm.

"Agda's brother is seventeen", the bard told him in anger. "He fell off his horse during a hunt and the healers think that he's about to die. Agda is leaving for High Rock tomorrow. I hope you are satisfied now".

As he heard those words, Steinarius was overwhelmed by a thick rush of nausea. He had just wished a poor boy to die, and he had done that while talking to the only person in Nirn who had shown him love and kindness and understanding.

With a shiver, the Dragonborn realized that the best thing he could do was vanish from Agda's life and make sure not to bother her ever again.


	29. Changes

**Author's note:**

 **First things first, a huge _thank you_ to all my readers, followers and favoriters, old and new alike :) Also, I thank KSausage, MeanE and Elspeth for their lovely reviews. In the previous chapter I tried to create a realistic argument where no one is completely right, so I was very pleased when I found out that you had different opinions about it. Also, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for upsetting many of you, but as Elspeth pointed out, Skyrim (and real life) sadly aren't very happy places. Yet, I suggest you saved your tears: this story still has a looooong way to go, so we'll have many other chances to see Agda and Steinarius interact with each other.**

 **This new instalment shows us a huge turning point in our little innkeeper's life. Hopefully, it will also provide you with a nice surprise.**

 **Two quick notes before the chapter begins: Wayrest is in High Rock; also, Kareti's figure is obviously ironical.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **26th of Sun's Height, 4E 202**

As she looked at the cloudless sky, Agda sighed. The country around Wayrest was as beautiful as ever and over the previous weeks the young Nord had learned to appreciate the green slopes of the nearby hills and the ever-present smell of the sea. Nonetheless, the beauty of the landscape could do nothing to lift her spirits.

It had been almost two months since Agda left Skyrim to visit her brother. Rhygo had always been a healthy boy with huge brown eyes and a booming personality, he had always been fun and arty and joyful, he had always adored riding and laughing and living life at the fullest; as a consequence, his injury in a banal hunting incident had felt like a true mockery from the Divines.

When Agda'd first reached High Rock, she'd firmly believed that her brother was about to die. Luckily enough, the healers' appalling predictions didn't come true and after two long weeks Rhygo eventually came to. After his horse had broken his spine by throwing him off the saddle, however, the young Nord was now paralyzed from the hips down. Therefore, the heir to the Seafarer's family had lost part of the enthusiasm he had once nourished towards life.

Rhygo's injury had been a huge tragedy for Agda and her family. The boy spent the first month after his incident begging his parents to kill him, thus causing Leifur the Seafarer to undergo a mental breakdown. Kareti the Wise, instead, reacted to her son's disability by changing the plans related to the future of her family.

Of the three children of Leifur and Kareti Seafarer, Rhygo had always been the only one willing to inherit the family business. Yet, his usual merry mood had now been replaced by a fierce hatred towards all those who pitied him for his new condition – and his parents' customers all fitted into that category. As a consequence, the boy had seemingly lost his once fierce passion for trading. Given the circumstances, Kareti had been forced to rely on her two daughters to safeguard the future of her business.

 _Your sister Liara is too unreliable, whereas Rhygo is still too shaken to return working_ , the little Nord woman had sighed a few days earlier, as she was busy mending one of Agda's best cloaks. _Since you've been raised to become a trader, I think it's only fair for you to take care of our shop, Agda. Also, as our eldest daughter, your father and I have decided that you'll be the one to inherit the business once we retire_.

Agda had been shocked by that unexpected news, and she had been even more shocked when her mother had added that, given her new position as the heiress to a very wealthy family of traders, Agda was now supposed to be looking for a husband.

 _After all, your trip to Skyrim has showed us that Nords don't care for pretty girls who love alchemy and magic_ , Kareti had said with a shrug and a tiny smile. _Given that fact, I believe you should definitely try your luck with a Breton. They're much more sensitive than the fighters from our land_.

Agda had been annoyed by the way her mother had brushed off the qualities of the many Nord warriors she knew; nonetheless, the girl had soon agreed to resume the life she'd left behind after reaching Riverwood for the first time. After all, Kareti was completely right - Agda wasn't fit to handle the difficult life of the North, just like she wasn't fit to deal with the hateful personality of his prophesized savior.

There was a low cracking sound and the door to the terrace was opened by a short, plump woman with black curls and sweet brown eyes. As her mother approached her, Agda turned to look at her.

"Agda, you should stop wearing these sad colors", Kareti frowned while pulling a disgusted face at the black dress her daughter was sporting. "How will you find a husband if you keep on picking clothes that make you look even sicker than you actually are?"

 _Think of the devil_ , the girl snorted. Although Rhygo had been the one to hit his head after falling off a horse, it looked as though Kareti had gone mad in his stead. By now that plump woman was determined to force Agda to settle down.

"Mum, I'm not sick!", the girl protested as her mother got closer and tried to fix a golden pin on her dress. "And then, black underlines my pale complexion. Noble people are supposed to look pale, and I thought you'd always wanted your daughter to look like a noble".

"I might have changed my mind about that", Kareti chuckled. "By the way, you should go to work, dear. Perhaps today you'll finally find a good man who will fall in love with you and decide to become your husband".

Agda sighed. Kareti had once been a very wise and tactful woman, but Rhygo's injury had taken a hard toll on her mind and her principles.

"Mum, I'm only twenty-four", the girl wearily protested. "I still have plenty of time to find a husband and…"

"You're twenty-five, my dear – there's no use in lying about your age to your own mother. And by the way, Rhygo's fate has shown us that life is quick. I know that you're still young, but your father and I would like to leave this world after seeing our family line continue to the next generation. Liara prefers the company of cats to that of men, whereas Rhygo claims that he'll never get married. In these circumstances, you're our only safe chance at becoming grandparents. Therefore, you should try and get to it as soon as you can. The future of the family lies in your hands, my love!"

Agda looked at her mother with an astonished look on her face. A second later, she decided to follow her advice and head towards the city. At least, no one there would bother her about her life as an unmarried woman.

* * *

Agda looked around the cozy shop on the main street of Wayrest. Her parents had set up their business immediately after fleeing Anvil and had quickly managed to create a vast network of customers and suppliers. Moreover, Kareti the Wise had cunningly obtained the protection of the local ruler, who had solemnly vowed to protect the family from further Thalmor investigations. Thanks to those facts, the _Seafarer's_ had already become one of the most fashionable and reliable shops in Stormhaven.

"You must be Kareti and Leifur's eldest daughter, right?"

The question forced Agda to abandon the book she was absent-mindedly reading. As the girl neared the counter of her shop, she was confronted with a short Breton with large green eyes and short greying hair.

"The name's Guillaume", the man smiled. "It's a pleasure to know the famous Agda of Anvil: your parents have told me a lot about you. Apropos, I'm sorry for what happened to Rhygo. That news really broke my heart".

Agda murmured a thank you, but couldn't bring herself to show the usual kindness she displayed with her other customers. There was something creepy about Guillaume, something that suggested she built a tall wall between her and that man.

"You do look like your mother", the Breton continued despite Agda's confused expression. "But you have your father's eyes".

In an attempt to be kind, Agda nodded and asked Guillaume what he needed. Her question was greeted by an unsettling grin.

"I'm simply in the mood for some small talks, my dear", the Breton said. "Kareti and Leifur adore it when I reach their shop and chat with them for a while".

Agda highly doubted those words, but decided to hide her skepticism. When Guillaume asked her for more information about her family, however, the girl frowned.

"I thought you were friends with them", she pointed out.

Guillaume chuckled, then told Agda that his memory had taken the unpleasant habit of erasing even the most important conversations from his mind. While fighting the urge to roll her eyes, the young girl decided to answer the man's questions. Her shop was usually crowded, but right then it looked as though the Divines wanted her to spend some time alone with that weird customer. Agda sincerely hoped someone would save her from that unpleasant situation.

"My father comes from a family of sailors", she said with a bored tone. "He is from Dawnstar and in his youth he often sailed back and forth between the Pale and Haafingar in order to sell mercury ingots. My mother instead was born in Morthal, but found her first job at the _East Empire Company Warehouse_ , right outside Solitude. That's where she met my father".

"And then they somehow ended up in Anvil", Guillaume chimed in. "The destiny of men can be really unpredictable".

"My father fought in the Great War", Agda explained while fighting the urge to frown. Guillaume's excessive friendliness somehow made her unease. "He got injured near Anvil, so my mother went there to nurse him back to health. My parents soon fell in love with the city and started their business there".

Guillaume nodded.

"I see. You mainly trade in clothes, books and weapons, don't you?", he asked after a brief pause.

"We actually trade in everything", Agda replied. "Name a thing that can be legally sold, and we'll have it".

Guillaume stopped his questioning when another person entered the shop. When she recognized her mother, Agda sighed in relief. Thanks to her kindness, Kareti was a master at taking care of creepy customers.

A simple look from her daughter was enough to let the woman understand what Agda thought of Guillaume. Stifling a chuckle, Kareti greeted the Breton with an affectionate smile, then asked Agda to take care of the magic books that were waiting in the back of the shop for someone to examine them. The girl was happy to oblige.

"It's good to have you back, Kareti", Agda heard Guillaume tell her mother as soon as she took her leave. "And it was even better to meet your eldest daughter. Perhaps she'll need some help with those magic books, won't she?"

"Agda knows how to read, Guillaume, therefore she won't have any problem with her task", Kareti replied with a chuckle. "Also, she's quite good at magic. In addition, my daughter is an expert at brewing potions and can prepare the most delicious Horker Stew of Tamriel".

Agda frowned when she heard her mother describe her skills in such a blatant way. It almost looked as though Kareti was trying to underline the qualities of a product to a potential buyer.

"I take it that you precious jewel doesn't have a husband", Guillaume replied after a brief pause.

As predictable, those words caused Agda to deadpan. The Breton was too old for her, wasn't he?

"My beloved Agda still hasn't been taken", Kareti confirmed. "She's turned down all the proposals she's received so far".

Once again, Agda frowned. The only time a man had knelt in front of her, the poor fellow had been struck by an arrow in the knee. What proposals was her mother talking about?

Sadly enough, the girl couldn't make out Guillaume's reply. Nonetheless, Kareti's following laugh let her understand that the man had said something that her mother had greatly enjoyed.

A few minutes later, when the Breton finally left the shop, Agda eventually dared return to the counter. Kareti smiled, then walked up to her and carefully examined her attire.

"My love, you should wear your best clothes while you're at work", the older woman frowned. "Also, you should put some skin on display. How will you find a husband if you keep on hiding your assets?"

"I don't think I need any other pretender", the girl sarcastically replied. "After all, I've already received thousands of proposals, haven't I?"

Amused by Agda's offended expression, Kareti chuckled.

"I needed to praise your talents, my love", she told her daughter. "After all, no one wants to buy things that have been ignored by everyone else".

"Mum, I'm not a thing!", Agda cried in disbelief. "Also, I don't need a creepy guy like Guillaume to be interested in me. I can do better than that!"

Kareti's eyes lit up with an amused sparkle.

"Oh, really? I've been waiting for you to find a suitable partner for many years, Agda. Sadly enough, it looks like you do need some help on my part if we want you to settle down. Apropos, I'm glad that you met Guillaume. He's the owner of a very important inn in Wayrest and he has a son about your age. Father and I thought he could be a good match for you".

As she heard those words, Agda was petrified by horror.

"Mum, I don't want to marry a man I don't…"

"Shush", Kareti said while raising a finger in admonition. "Like it or not, you'll meet Guillaume' son before the end of the week".

Agda looked at her mother with an astonished look on her face – she probably needed to talk to a priest and get the demon of Forced Marriages out of her body before it could do any more damage.

When the girl tried to protest, Kareti hushed her with a smile - after all, she was sure that Agda and Didier Brigette would become the most admired couple of High Rock.

* * *

Later that week, as Agda took off her dancing gown and slumped down on her huge bed in the family villa right outside Wayrest, she snorted. The girl loved her parents, she really did, but she wasn't ready to sacrifice her happiness just because they wanted to see a new generation of Seafarers. She was ready to set her dreams of adventures aside and spend the rest of her life in their cozy shop in Wayrest, fine, but she had no intention of marrying the man Kareti had chosen for her.

As Agda tossed and turned in her bed, she sighed. She'd always dreamed of settling down and creating her own family, but she had never thought that her whole life would depend on that. She was a woman, sure, but she was also a decent mage, a good alchemist, a talented healer. There was much more to her than the simple physical ability to bear a child, but ever since her mother had announced that she was to inherit the family business, the girl felt as though everyone now regarded her only as the oldest heiress to Wayrest's richest family of traders.

Agda's unpleasant impression had intensified over the course of that evening. Her parents had organized a party to celebrate Rhygo's partial recovery, and Guillaume's family had been among the guests. His son, Didier, was a short red-haired boy who had seemed bored by the whole situation.

 _I love weapons and horses and beautiful women_ , he'd told Agda over dinner. Thanks to Kareti's evil mind, the two of them had been forced to sit next to each other. _Actually, correct that: I love beautiful women, but I'm ready to marry an ugly one if that means that I can improve my wealth. If you're rich, you can buy beauty, can't you?_

 _Too bad that, even if you're rich, you can't buy a brain_ , Agda had been about to reply. Nonetheless, a look from her mother had suggested she shut up and kept on smiling like a dumb girl.

Later, as Agda'd danced with Didier, her unpleasant feelings about him had got even worse. As she thought about the way the Breton had let his hands wander over her back and had pulled her closer so that he could feel her chest against his, the girl had to stifle the urge to puke.

In an attempt to erase those horrible memories, Agda thought of the sensation of another man's hands on her body. Before Didier, one of the last boys to hug her had been Erik the Slayer. Handsome and chatty and funny, the young warrior had quickly become one of Agda's best friends, just like the many letters he still sent her from Skyrim testified. Before leaving for Sky Haven Temple together with Faendal and Steinarius, Erik had given the girl a rib-breaking hug and had held her close to his chest for what had felt like a lifetime. As he'd finally let go of her, the girl had almost felt sorry for that loss of contact.

While thinking of the men of her past, Agda couldn't prevent Steinarius' face from haunting her mind like an unpleasant ghost. The man had said horrible things to her, thus convincing her that true love was nothing but an illusion; nonetheless, Agda still couldn't forget the way his arms used to embrace her at night, thus providing her with warmth and comfort and protection.

With a strangled sigh, Agda forced herself to steer those memories away from her mind. Her life in Skyrim had been nothing but a quick parenthesis in her existence, a parenthesis that had left her with a broken heart and some unsolved trust issues. The girl missed Riverwood, she missed her friends, she even missed Orgnar, but she couldn't go back – after all Steinarius had shouted at her, her reputation in the small village was completely ruined; moreover, that lovely place was now riddled with painful memories.

Surprisingly enough, thinking of her argument with the Imperial set everything into the right perspective for Agda: with a sigh, the girl realized that, all in all, marrying the heir to a wealthy family and living a life full of boredom and riches was much better than getting involved with someone as heartless and cruel as the Dragonborn.

* * *

The morning later, Agda received a letter from Didier. The Breton told her that he'd had fun with her and that he wanted to meet her again.

The girl's family welcomed the news enthusiastically: Kareti clapped her hands in bliss, Liara grinned evilly, Leifur produced a tiny, satisfied smirk. Only Rhygo seemed unhappy about that situation, a fact that Kareti dismissed as another consequence of his incident. Yet, as Agda was getting dressed, her brother unexpectedly reached her room and revealed her the reasons for his detached demeanor.

"Are you meeting Didier any time soon?", Rhygo asked her without any further greeting.

As Agda helped her brother by driving his wheelchair inside her room, she nodded. Rhygo was a handsome tall boy with long black curls and deep blue eyes. Agda was sure that, despite his incident, he would soon become one of the most courted men in Wayrest.

"Mom wants me to see him tomorrow evening", she revealed him. "We'll attend a party at his inn".

Those words caused Rhygo to frown.

"Think well about your decisions, Agdy", he told her while taking her hand in his. "Dad and mom think that Didier is a good guy, but I know better than that. Also, I have something that could help you make up your mind about him".

Furrowing her brow, Agda grabbed the letter Rhygo had just taken out of a pocket.

"It ended up in my mail", the boy explained. "The sender probably didn't want mum to pry. She checks your letters, but neatly avoids mine".

Agda made to reply, but a quick glimpse of the letter had her jaw drop open and her hand cover her mouth.

Delphine had written her a message, thus offering her an escape from the dull life that was being prepared for her.

* * *

It was very late in the evening as Agda snuck out of her family's villa to reach the southern shore of Wayrest. Thanks to her cloak and to her brother's help, no one noticed her as she cast an invisibility spell and quickly made her way to the city. A light rain was falling, causing Agda to frown at Delphine's decision to meet her in the open. At the same time, however, the girl couldn't help feeling excited.

Her former employer had come all the way from Sky Haven Temple to visit her, therefore she probably wanted Agda to get involved in something important. Unfortunately, her letter had left the girl no clue about the reasons behind that sudden trip to Wayrest.

By the time she reached her destination, Agda had already found thousands of possible explanations for that unexpected summoning. Perhaps Delphine wanted her to join the Blades as a healer; perhaps the Breton had been informed of the way Agda and the Dragonborn had split up and had come to Wayrest to offer the girl some solace; perhaps, instead, Delphine just wanted the young Nord to move to Sky Haven Temple and work there as an housekeeper – the head of the Blades had always hated Steinarius, therefore it was entirely possible that she wanted to anger him by forcing him to live with his former partner.

Despite the many ideas that were roaming her mind, Agda was taken aback when Delphine revealed her the true reason of her visit.

"Orgnar has told me about you and Steinarius", the warrior said after leading the girl to an abandoned shack on the western shore of Wayrest. Always stern, Delphine didn't even bother asking Agda how she was doing "A friend of mine has visited your shop a few weeks ago and has heard your mother talk about the need to find you a husband. As you can imagine, I have come to save you".

Agda raised one of her eyebrows.

"Does Steinarius know you're here?"

Delphine shook her head. When she pulled a disgusted face, Agda felt sorry for mentioning the Imperial.

"Crepusculus has left Skyrim a few days after he broke up with you", the leader of the Blades informed her. "He's been spotted in Solstheim".

Agda frowned.

"What…"

"I don't know what he's doing there, and I don't even care", Delphine hastily interrupted her. "By the way, I'm here to talk about you, not about Steinarius".

There was a short pause, then Delphine spoke again.

"The Thalmor have sent one of their men to one of the biggest institutions of Skyrim", she explained. "Orgnar has told me about your improvements with magic and about your forced journey to Wayrest. I know that your brother is doing better, and I know that you don't want to be trapped here for the rest of your life. That's why I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse".

As she found about the task Delphine had prepared for her, Agda was overcome by a hurricane of feelings. Enthusiasm, fear, memories of the past, hopes for a better future, everything formed a confused blur that made it impossible for the young Nord to think. Unfortunately, the leader of the Blades needed an answer as soon as possible.

"You're young, Agda, and you only have one life", Delphine told her when the girl confessed she had no idea what to do. "You should live it at the fullest, shouldn't you?"

Those words finally did the trick. Agda had no intention of spending the rest of her life in a dusty shop, to marry a man she didn't love, to grow old while surrounded by money, memories and the painful regret of having wasted away her existence; as a consequence, she eagerly accepted the mage robes Delphine was handing her. On the following morning, despite her mother's outraged protests and her father's confused screams, Agda kissed Rhygo goodbye and immediately headed for Skyrim.

She was about to fulfill her dream of becoming a Restoration student at the College of Winterhold.


	30. A kind of magic

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I deeply thank all my readers, favoriters and followers for their amazing support! Also, a great _thank you_ goes to MeanE, KSausage, BAddogs and Elspeth for their lovely reviews. I'm glad that you liked the twist I added in the previous chapter and I hope my work will manage to be up to your expectations. In the next few instalments Agda is going to become much more indipendent and have some great adventures, thus showing everyone that her marriage with Didier was not a good idea. As for Steinarius, I will probably write a little chapter about his adventures in Solstheim - for the moment, however, it's Agda's time to shine ;)**

 **This instalment shows us our girl's arrival in Winterhold. It is a bit slow, but I promise that the next few chapters will be much more interesting.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **12th of Last Seed, 4E 202**

As Agda eventually reached Winterhold, she snorted for a series of reasons. Firstly, the girl had forgotten how cold her homeland could be at that time of the year. Secondly, until that moment she had never noticed how uncomfortable carriage drives were. Thirdly, her new town was far smaller and creepier than Agda had predicted. Last but not least, the girl hadn't realized how much Nords hated magic until she reached the seat of the College for the first time.

"That makes 75 septims, girl".

When the carriage driver asked for his pay, Agda couldn't help but frown.

"I thought we'd agreed on 50 septims", she said as the horse slowly stopped to a halt.

"Well, I've changed my mind about that", the driver shrugged. "You slept for the whole journey, therefore you didn't notice how many dangers we had to ride past".

"Yes, but you carried me for just one day", Agda replied. "It's quite a short journey from Dawnstar to Winterhold".

"I'm sorry girl, but I've just introduced a new fee for mages who need to get to the College", the driver shrugged. "I'm afraid I forgot to mention that".

Agda deadpanned.

"What does it mean that _you forgot to mention that_? It was your mistake, not mine!"

"Well, you hadn't told me that you were a mage".

Agda blinked in confusion.

"You seriously want me to charge with an additional fee just because I'm about to join the College?"

The man nodded.

"Yes, that was the idea".

Confronted with that situation, Agda rolled her eyes. She should have known better than hiring that desperate-looking man who was standing at the gates of Dawnstar; yet, the eagerness to reach the College had got the upper hand on her usual caution. That gruff Nord probably wasn't a professional driver either, Agda realized as she noticed that his carriage was much smaller than the usual ones. Moreover, the man was wearing a weird leather cuirass and had strange scars on his cheeks. On the previous evening, the darkness surrounding Dawnstar had prevented Agda from noticing those details - and sadly for her, now it was too late to complain.

"Listen, I see no reason why you should charge me with additional septims just because I'm a mage", the girl protested again. "Also, 75 septims for such a short ride is a true theft".

"A theft, you say? Well, let me see about that".

As soon as he said those words, the carriage driver grinned mischievously. A second later, he started screaming in a surprisingly high-pitched voice.

"Guards, help me! Guaaaards! Over here! I need help with a customer who…"

"Shut up, for Mara's sake!", Agda shushed him, outraged and horrified at the same time. She still hadn't set foot on Winterhold soil, but she was already risking to end up in jail.

Before the guard decided to help the man who was desperately screaming from the top of his lungs, Agda shoved a purse of coins in his hands.

"Take your septims and leave, you psycho!", she hissed.

The man grinned, then threw Agda's heavy knapsack on the snowy ground of the city.

"If you ever need a carriage driver again, ask for me!", he said as soon as the girl hopped off his carriage. "I love young and sweet mages with lots of money!"

Fighting the urge to send a Flame Atronach after that maniac, Agda pretended she hadn't heard him. As she was busy securing her heavy knapsack to her back, a man dressed in very dirty clothes looked at her and snorted.

"Not only are we forced to co-live with those Elven lunatics", he grunted. "Now we also have to deal with Nords who have no guts for becoming warriors".

Agda frowned. She was wearing a heavy cloak that was long enough to cover her blue mage robes, but her lack of weapons and muscles had probably given her away as a future apprentice of the College. With a sigh, the girl wrapped a heavy scarf around her neck and put on her hood.

"You'll probably freeze to death during your very first night in Winterhold", the man said when he noticed how cold Agda looked. "That's only good, by the way. I bet you also support those Imperial morons, don't you?"

Sighing, Agda let those words fall on deaf ears.

If the friendly welcoming she'd just received meant anything, her stay in Winterhold was going to be much more complicated than she'd predicted.

* * *

Agda had always loved magic – she adored the way magicka rushed through her body when she summoned it, the way it made her fingertips tingle with arcane energy, the way her whole body seemed to float in a sea of light every time she used a spell.

Agda perfectly remembered the day she discovered her natural talent for magic. Everything had begun fifteen years earlier, when the girl had accidentally cast a spell on Bucky, her sister's little bunny. That white soft creature had seemed to be suffering from the summer heat of Anvil, therefore Agda had taken it upon herself to give him some relief. If she focused hard enough, the girl could still hear Liara's terrified screams after she discovered that Bucky had been magically enclosed in an ice cube.

Luckily enough, Liara's pet had survived the accident and lived to become the fattest rabbit of Tamriel. Agda, on the other hand, had become a sort of prodigy to her whole family – after all, in over 400 years of history, the Seafarers had never had a mage amidst their ranks.

Leifur had been scared by the way her eldest daughter seemed to effortlessly create flames, ice spears and electricity - he was a Nord from Dawnstar, and as such he feared everything that was connected with magic. Born in Morthal and raised in Solitude, his wife Kareti had a much more open approach to magic; as a consequence, she soon contacted a mage in order to teach Agda some spells. Sadly enough, that old Bosmer had always seemed more fascinated by Kareti's presence than by the child' skills – and when he weirdly asked her out on a date, the woman decided that she was done with mages and Elves and with her daughter's passion for magic.

Over the following years, Agda received a very good education that allowed her to become a very good trader. Nonetheless, the girl never forgot her talent for magic, which she fueled by reading books and practicing spells every time she could. In particular, the young Nord grew to be very fascinated by Restoration and by the way some alchemists could brew potions strong enough to save human lives.

Despite her love for magic and her growing passion for alchemy, Agda never really entertained the thought of becoming a mage – at least, she didn't entertain it until Delphine came along. Many people in Riverwood had stated that Agda would make a perfect healer, but the Breton had been the first one to push the girl past her limits, forcing her to realize that magic wasn't just a passion – it was also the only activity Agda loved to the point that dreaming of a career in that field actually made her dizzy with happiness.

 _I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the other students_ , the girl had muttered before accepting her part in Delphine's plan.

Confronted with Agda's worried expression, the Breton had surprisingly chuckled.

 _Agda, the College is desperate for apprentices_ , she'd pointed out. _Also, the admittance test is ridiculously easy_.

Agda had felt better after that discovery, but now that she was in Winterhold she began feeling nervous again. She was about to face the long path leading to the mastery of every magic discipline - either that, or she was going to become the first person in recent history who didn't pass the admittance test of the College of Winterhold.

* * *

Despite her worries, as Agda walked towards the College she couldn't avoid focusing on the landscape around her.

Even if it was summer, a few snowflakes were falling on her head, thus letting the girl understand that the bad reputation of Winterhold was well deserved, at least as far as being "the coldest and darkest and snowiest place of all Skyrim" went. As she took in the few destroyed houses near the entrance to the College, Agda also realized that the rumors regarding the Great Collapse were probably true: once a florid city, Winterhold was now transformed into the ghost of its former glory, just like the many empty buildings and the drunkard singing an obscene song from the top of his lungs testified. When Agda remembered that she was about to spend the following months of her life in that desolate place, her forced marriage with Didier suddenly stopped looking that bad.

Luckily enough, the girl forgot those silly thoughts as soon as she reached her destination.

Despite her poor orientation skills, Agda managed to find the College without asking anyone for help - after all, it was quite difficult to miss that huge structure built on the top of a freestanding spire of rock.

As she noticed the way the bridge leading to the building was suspended in the air against all rules of gravity and logic, Agda suddenly forgot her worries. Sure, walking through that narrow passage was going to be very scary, but everything around it had the appealing smell of magic and power and knowledge.

For the first time in her life, Agda felt the desire to plant root in a place and never leave it again.

* * *

The first person Agda met as soon as her feet came in contact with the old stones of the College was an Altmer. The girl smiled at the irony: after all, she'd come to Winterhold because Delphine wanted her to spy on a member of the Thalmor.

Faralda was a woman of undefined age, with reddish hair and an air of superiority around her. As soon as she saw the young Nord who was approaching the entrance to the College, she walked towards her and stopped her with a gesture.

"I wish to become a mage", Agda said when questioned about the reasons of her presence in Winterhold.

"Do you want to use the power of ice and fire to destroy any who oppose you or do you wish to bend the will of those around you?"

Agda blinked in confusion. _Don't mind me, I'm just here to spy on the newest advisor to the Archmage_ , she thought. _The leader of a long forgotten Order of dragonhunters asked me to do it, so I took the chance to learn a spell or two along the way._

Only then did Agda realize what kind of troubles she'd walked in when she'd accepted to partake in Delphine's plan.

"Err, none of the two I suppose", she answered after what probably looked like an endless amount of time. By now Faralda probably thought her to be mad. "I'd like to become a healer".

The High Elf chuckled at that, causing Agda to wonder what kind of funny thing she'd said without realizing it.

"Colette will be happy to have a pupil after all this time", the Altmer giggled. "Nonetheless, girl, you first need to prove me your skills. Let's start with something simple. Can you cast a firebolt?"

Agda frowned. _Of course she could cast a firebolt_.

The girl's facial expression was probably very ambiguous, as Faralda mistook it for embarrassment and immediately proceeded to reassure her.

"Oh dear, sometimes I forget I'm dealing with you Nords!", the Altmer said. "Any other spell will be just fine, dear. If you want, I can teach you something myself. I'm a Destruction trainer".

Stifling the urge to roll her eyes, Agda realized that Faralda was just trying to be nice - after all, social awkwardness was one of the biggest qualities of mages and wizards worldwide. With a sigh, the girl proceeded to summon a Flame Atronach, so that the Altmer could finally understand that she was dealing with a decent mage.

Faralda looked really impressed by the way Agda had effortlessly managed to evoke that creature. Smiling, she allowed the young Nord to cross the bridge leading to the College. As she followed that tall woman, Agda noticed the blue rays of light formed by the weird rounded structures along the passage.

"They're our focal points", Faralda explained her.

Agda was amazed by the discovery, just like she was amazed by the sight of the College courtyard.

The huge statue of Shalidor stood in its center, whereas the grey walls of the building circled the area. The little gate leading to the yard opened as soon as Faralda and the girl approached it.

As she looked around that cozy place, Agda took in many little details: the wonderful windows of the fortress-like building, the tall trees around the statue of Shalidor, the way the stone cloak of the effigy seemed to float in the wind. At last the girl noticed two people talking in front of a very big door.

"That's Mirabelle Ervine", Faralda said while pointing Agda in the direction of a small Breton woman. "She's the Master Wizard of the College and will tell you everything you need to know about our institution. Oh, and welcome in Winterhold, girl".

Agda thanked Faralda with a smile, then walked up to Mirabelle. As she did, the girl froze in her steps - the Breton was namely talking to the man Agda was supposed to spy during her time in Winterhold.

Ancano, the member of the Thalmor who had raised Delphine's worries in the first place, was as slender and tall as any other man from his land. He had beautiful chiseled traits and was probably considered handsome by many people. Nonetheless, Agda couldn't suppress a shiver when she saw him - apparently, she still hadn't forgotten the way the Thalmor had tried to kill her after torturing her at length.

As Agda stopped in the courtyard, she heard Mirabelle Ervine say some poisonous words to Ancano.

"You may be used to the Empire bowing to your every whim, but I'm afraid you'll find the Thalmor receive no such treatment here", the little woman warned the Altmer. "You are a guest of the College, here at the pleasure of the Arch-Mage. I hope you appreciate the opportunity".

Upon hearing those words, Agda's heart swelled with relief. She already liked Mirabelle: from her attitude it looked as though Ancano was going to have a very difficult time prying into the business of the College.

After replying to Mirabelle's words with a false smile, the Thalmor turned his back to the Breton. As Agda accidentally crossed eyes with him, she felt a weird tingle on the back of her neck: everything inside her body was screaming at her to get away from that dangerous man.

When the Altmer noticed the Nord girl who was standing a few feet away from him, his lips curled in a smile. At that moment he looked like a bird of prey ready to feast on a defenseless rabbit. As she thought of Bucky, Agda couldn't help but shiver.

"Another new Apprentice, I see", Ancano said with a mellifluous tone. Unlike Agda, the man seemed quite pleased to meet her. "Are you of the sort that believe you're here to change the world? Or are you only in it for yourself?"

Before Agda could get past the confusion caused by that question, Ancano spoke again.

"I assure you that I shall be watching all of you very closely", he said with a very unsettling grin.

 _And here we were, thinking that Ancano could be shy about revealing his true goals at the College_ , Agda thought with a snort.

As the young apprentice watched the tall Altmer leave the courtyard, she was approached by Mirabelle Ervine. The Breton was smaller than her and looked younger than Agda had first thought.

"Another new student!", the Breton said with a tired but affectionate smile. "Welcome to the College, girl".

Agda thanked Mirabelle for her welcoming, then said that Faralda had suggested she talked to her. Upon hearing those words, the Breton's face lit up. A moment later, she offered to take the girl on a brief tour of the College.

"We'll take a little stroll around here, then you'll be able to meet your colleagues", she kindly told Agda. "I'm surprised at how many students there are lately".

Agda felt both nervous and excited at the mention of her future colleagues. She hoped she could make friends with them, but she also feared that their skills would be much better than hers.

Smiling, Mirabelle started telling Agda about the history of the College. First of all the Breton showed her new pupil the Hall of the Elements, the huge room where most of the lectures took place; Mirabelle also allowed Agda a sneak peek into the Arcanaeum, the library of the College. When she saw the thousands of books stored in there, the young Nord let her jaw drop open – to her, that huge place was Sovngarde incarnated.

Chuckling at her pupil's enthusiasm, Mirabelle showed Agda the way to the Arch-Mage's quarters, then she led her to the Hall of Attainment, a two stored circular structure with many little bedrooms lined up along the walls.

"Unfortunately we've had to implement more stringent entry procedures, due to some problems with the local Nords", Mirabelle sighed as she approached the door to the hall.

Agda was taken aback by that revelation.

"A man criticized me for being a mage", she confessed to Mirabelle. "Are all the people in Winterhold like that?"

"I don't like generalizations, Agda", Mirabelle said with a kind, mother-like tone. "Yet, I'm afraid that people like Ranmir are the rule here in Winterhold. Don't worry, however: here at the College you'll be perfectly safe".

"Does the Altmer you were talking to have something to do with this?", Agda asked after gathering all her courage. "With the local people disliking us, I mean".

Mirabelle sighed.

"The Nords have criticized us for many years now, but Ancano's presence in Winterhold has suceeded in the difficult task of increasing their hatred towards us. The city is currently under the jurisdiction of the Stormcloaks, and Ulfric has never been fond of the Thalmor".

Before Agda could ask more questions about Ancano's role at the College, Mirabelle showed her a little room next to the entrance door of the hall.

"This is where you'll be staying, Agda", she announced. "Also, here are some new robes. You're not required to wear them, but you may find them more to your liking than your current clothes".

Agda was pleasantly surprised when Mirabelle handed her Novice Robes of Destruction. Sure, she would have preferred clothes related to Restoration, but Destruction was probably the most popular school of magic amidst the new students.

"You'll find out about that later", Mirabelle said when Agda asked her for information about the Restoration lessons. "Now just rest. You'll soon meet your colleagues, then you'll start with the first lessons tomorrow. I wish you a pleasant stay, Agda. Also, let me know if you encounter any problem. I live right here, on the second floor".

The young Nord thanked Mirabelle for her kindness, then explored the hall where she'd be living for the few following months. The place was empty, therefore Agda was free to move around as she wished. The girl examined the focal point in the middle of the ground floor, the different cubicles around it, the moth-eaten banners of the College. When she found the courage to reach the second floor, Agda noticed a cozy dining area, a lounge and a some barrells full of wine and food. That place was already growing on her.

As Agda tried to put on her new robes, however, she soon realized the biggest downside of the College dorm: since the cubicles had no doors, privacy and modesty were probably going to become a luxury. Also, the girl would probably need to learn some spells to scare potential intruders away from her room.

After making sure that no one was around, Agda quickly changed into her new clothes. As soon as she tied the last lace to her trousers, the door to the Hall burst open, allowing three people to make their appearance.

"You are new, yes?"

When Agda turned her head, she was greeted by a Khajit looking right in her direction.

"This one is J'zargo", he said with what sounded like a low purr. "Have you mastered the Expert level destruction spells yet?"

Agda blinked at the unexpected questions.

" _What_?"

The Kahjit huffed.

"This is disappointing. J'zargo hoped there might be one who could keep pace with his accomplishments".

Before Agda could process those words, the Khajit disappeared from her sight.

"Don't worry about J'zargo", one of the other newcomers said. He was a tall boy with unmistakable Nordic traits. "He's a bit competitive".

"So I've noticed", Agda chuckled. "By the way, it's good to see another Nord".

The boy smiled and for a second he and Agda giggled stupidly at each other - it was nice to know that she wasn't the only Nord student at the College.

"I feared I'd be the only one too", the boy chuckled as though he'd just read Agda's mind. "The name's Onmund, by the way. Oh, and this is Brelyna".

Only then did Agda noticed the shy-looking Dunmer behind Onmund. Agda knew about the many Grey Elves who moved to Winterhold after the Eruption of the Red Mountain, so she wondered whether Brelyna was a refugee too.

"Before you even ask, yes I have an ancestry steeped in magic, and no I don't want to talk about it", the Dunmer unexpectedly snapped. "Yes, I know Winterhold used to be full of my kind, and no I don't care that they're all gone now."

Blinking, Agda wondered why all the other students seemed able to read her mind.

"Err, sorry", she stuttered when confronted with Brelyna's harsh manners. "I didn't mean to pry. Actually, I'd never dream of asking you such personal questions on our very first meeting".

Brelyna seemed to relax upon hearing those words. Agda was sure she could see the Dunmer blush under her dark skin.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to assume", the Dark Elf said. "I'm Brelyna Maryon, of House Telvanni. First of my family to leave Morrowind in a long time. Now I'm here to study Conjuration".

Agda nodded, surprised by what she'd already learned about the new apprentices of the College - she wanted to work as a healer, J'zargo was a competitive student who dreamed of enhancing his destruction skills, Brelyna was keen on becoming a sorceress, Onmund looked like a friendly puppy ready to do anything just to gain people's affection.

Agda had no idea what Ancano was up to, or why the members of the College smirked every time she mentioned her love for Restoration. Nonetheless, one thing she knew: there was no way she would get bored in Winterhold.


	31. An unexpected meeting

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I thank all my readers, followers and favoriters for their support. The special mentions of the day go to Guest and KSausage for their nice reviews. That carriage driver was quite hateful and in this chapter we'll find out more about him. Also, a huge _thank you_ to KSausage for pointing out my lore-related mistakes. I definitely have some troubles with that kind of things, so it's great to get some help from my readers. **

**Just like Guest, I was really looking forward to the next chapter of this story; as a consequence, here I am with the second instalment of the week (I was very excited about it and I just couldn't wait to post it).**

 **Since Agda isn't a warrior and the College quest line is full of battles, I thought it would be good for her to meet up with an old friend who could help her improve her fighting skills. Also, this instalment describes the first week Agda spent at the College.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **19th of Last Seed 202, 4E**

Agda spent her first evening in Winterhold at the College. She had dinner with Brelyna and Onmund, thus discovering more about their sweet personalities and the soft looks they exchanged once in a while - although they'd been in Winterhold for less than a week, the two young mages already looked very fond of each other.

During dinner Agda also had the chance to learn more about her teachers. Tolfdir was a funny old man who loved talking to his students, whereas Mirabelle Ervine was kind and protective; Enthir seemed disgusted by the simple sight of his new pupils, whereas Arniel Gane spent the whole evening reading and trying to eat his soup with a fork. Ancano, on the other hand, didn't show up at all.

When Agda discovered that the Thalmor's room was on the same floor as hers, she promised herself she would forsake sleep in order to spy on him. Nonetheless, after a few minutes in her soft bed the girl was already snoring as loud as a cave bear.

After her first day in Winterhold, Agda was completely, utterly exhausted.

* * *

When Agda woke up, she felt a weird weight on her legs. Tooo sleepy to open her eyes, she wondered why she was experiencing that unpleasant feeling.

 _Had her cat jumped on her bed during the night?_

Nope, that furry monster had remained in Wayrest.

 _Had Delphine left a heavy barrel of beer at her feet so that Agda would be forced to find a place for it in the inn?_

Nope, Delphine was in Sky Haven Temple, whereas Agda wasn't in Riverwood anymore.

 _Was Steinarius sleeping with his legs (and, apparently, his cuirass and his shield and his greatsword too) on hers?_

Nope, the man was in some weird place beginning with S- and ending with -heim. Also, he had dumped her more than two months earlier.

 _But what was going on then?_

Whimpering, Agda rubbed her eyes and slowly opened them. When she found herself face-to-face with a short Breton woman, the girl couldn't stifle a scream.

"Hush, my dear, hush! Am I really that ugly?"

Before Agda could overcome her surprise, the weird woman grabbed her by the elbow and spoke again.

"Oh, it's been so long since I last had a pupil! The name's Colette Marette and I'm the Master trainer of Restoration here at the College. You must be Agda, right?"

Despite her confusion, the girl nodded. Behind Colette she could see the Hall of Attainment clad in darkness and Onmund tossing and turning in his bed. No doubt he'd been awoken by her scream.

"What time is it?"

"Time to learn, my dear pupil!", Colette said with an enthusiastic smile. "It's good for your health to wake up at dawn every day".

Agda would have begged to differ, but she was forced to shut up when Colette handed her some new robes.

"Restoration clothes", she explained. "I bought them yesterday evening from Birna. When I found out about you, I was incredibly pleased!"

Agda had no idea who Birna was, but she knew how expensive Restoration robes were. As a consequence, she was astonished by Colette's gift.

"Don't worry girl, it's just a little present to my best and only student", the Breton said. "Come on now, we'll need to eat if we want you to learn something!"

When Agda reached the dining area of the hall, she was tempted to grab a sweetroll and eat it. Luckily enough, she held back when she realized the way Colette was looking at her.

"We have to be perfectly fit if we want to take care of others", the Breton said with a slight tone of reproach.

Stifling the urge to sigh, Agda grabbed a sad-looking apple and took a bite. She hated fruit, but she was ready to go miles to impress her teacher.

Colette kept on behaving like crazy for the rest of the morning. She had Agda parade through the whole College while she was busy screaming at her colleagues that she finally had a pupil too, "and who is the loser now, Sergius? Uh? Who doesn't have any pupil this year? Not Colette Marence, my dear, not me!"

By midday Agda had already understood the reason why Colette was considered a weirdo by most of her colleagues. Luckily enough, at that point the Breton took her to a cozy lounge in the Hall of Attainment and finally got down to business.

"You said that you good with alchemy", the Breton said as she looked Agda with an unusual piercing gaze. "That always comes in handy for healers like us. Tell me, have you ever used Restoration magic on someone?"

Agda nodded. She told Colette about Hilde's problems, about the time Alvor had hurt himself with a hammer, about Ralof's injury in a fight; she told her about Erik's burnings, about Adaeze's concussion, about the time she healed a hunter who'd come down with Ataxia. At last, Agda recalled the many times she'd nursed Steinarius back to health: she remembered healing his twisted ankle in Alvor's house, taking care of his tiredness after he'd escaped the Thalmor embassy, preparing him weak sleeping draughts when he'd remained in Riverwood around New Life Festival. Then the girl recalled the way Steinarius had been poisoned by that vampire, the way she'd helped him with his laboured breathing and frantic heartbeat, the way she'd caressed his hair when he'd started mumbling and screaming in his sleep. Agda also remembered the way she'd tried to mend the Imperial's broken heart, but she didn't tell Colette about that – after all, that had been her biggest failure, and not only as far as her healing skills went.

Although Agda tried to keep a detached tone throughout her narration, Colette seemed to notice that she had a sweet spot for the man she'd nursed back to health so many times. Also, the Breton realized that Agda was a very promising student. As a consequence, she swore to herself that she would help her become one of the best healers the College of Winterhold had ever produced.

Over the following days Agda fell into a comfortable routine: she would spend her mornings with Colette, then she would listen to the lectures in the main hall. After that, Agda would retire in the library or practice some spells with Brelyna and Onmund. At last, during the evenings she'd enjoy dinner while reading a good book.

Over that short amount of time, Agda learned many things about her fellow students and her teachers. J'zargo for example wasn't keen on making new friends and often spent most of the day in the courtyard of the College, where he would hide behind trees and try his self-made spells. Whenever Agda asked him about his discoveries, the Khajit would reply in a very unpleasant tone. Quite unlike J'zargo, Onmund was friendly and nice to everyone. Nonetheless, the boy clearly felt unease at the thought of forsaking the traditions of his family in order to become a mage. Brelyna had no similar problems, but her shyness tended to make her look awkward. Also, the Dunmer's experiments often proved to be risky and unsuccessful.

As far as the other residents of the College were concerned, Agda soon learned that they all had very different personalities: Mirabelle was sweet, Faralda was always ready to help, Colette hated everyone who didn't share her love for Restoration; Enthir was arrogant, Tolfdir was absent-minded, Drevis could be adorably weird; Arniel was always working on his projects, Urag was grumpy but helpful, Phinis was as shady as every other Necromancer; last but not least, Nirya didn't miss any opportunity to criticize Faralda or Mirabelle or the Arch-mage. As far as the latter was concerned, Agda soon realized that Savos Aren spent a lot of time in his office, where Ancano would visit him very often. Due to that fact, during her first week at the College the young Nord didn't manage to find out anything about the two of them.

Soon enough, Agda was asked to choose her main fields of interest as a student. As well as dealing with Restoration and learning as much as she could about alchemy, the girl decided to acquire some skills in Enchantment - after all, if she wanted to become a good healer, she needed to learn how weapons could be deadly altered through magic.

Sergius Turrianus was a harsh and stern teacher, and at first he didn't hide his discontent at being forced to deal with a girl who couldn't even swing a sword. Nonetheless, Agda soon proved to be a very dedicated and meticolous pupil with a special sense for detecting the enchantments weapons sported. Deep inside, Sergius was glad to have such a good apprentice under his wings.

At the end of her first week in Winterhold, Agda had a very pleasant surprise: in order to help the new apprentices blend in, Mirabelle had organized a special party at the local inn. When she discovered about it, the girl sighed in relief: after a very tough couple of days, she was more than willing to relax for a few hours.

* * *

The evening at the _Frozen Hearth_ went by smoothly. The inn was little but cozy, not unlike the _Sleeping Gian_ t. As she absent-mindedly drank some brandy, Agda couldn't help but think of her friends back in Riverwood.

Towards midnight, when all the mages were about to leave, a group of guards entered the building. Two of them were tall Nord men with very long beards and threatening scars, whereas the third was completely different. As Agda recognized Adaeze's dark skin, her lean built and her raven-black hair, she couldn't believe her eyes - and when the Redguard saw her best friend, she couldn't believe it either.

The girls soon found themselves talking without breaks, giggling at each other, laughing stupidly when they said the same things at the same time.

After saying goodbye to their colleagues and sitting down at a little table in the most hidden corner of the inn, the two friends could finally express their surprise at their unexpected meeting.

"I know you'd left your job in Riften, but I didn't expect you to become a townsguard here!", Agda said.

"Well, I hadn't expected my favorite innkeeper to turn up at the College either", Adaeze chuckled in reply. "I know you are proficient with magic, but this is a huge surprise!"

In an attempt to provide Adaeze with a believable reason for her presence in Winterhold, Agda shrugged.

"I'd grown tired of living in Riverwood. I was looking for new thrills and for a better job, so I decided to join the College and become a healer. By the way, what are you doing here? In your last letter you mentioned a job as a huscarl in Markarth!"

Adaeze sighed.

"I told you a few lies, Agda", she admitted with a sheepish smile. "Actually, I had a lot of bad adventures in Markarth. I even risked to end up in Cidhna Mine".

Confronted with Agda's shocked expression, Adaeze proceeded to tell her the truth about the previous months of her life.

"You remember when I mentioned working for an organization in Riften, don't you?"

Agda nodded.

"And you remember when I told you that said organization paid me really well, right?"

Agda nodded again.

"And have you ever had any doubt about that organization?"

When Agda shook her head, Adaeze sighed. The girl's naivete was really astonishing – either that, or Agda couldn't think ill or her friends.

"I was a member of the Thieves Guild, Agda", Adaeze revealed her. "That's why I could make so much money in such a short amount of time".

The mage blinked in confusion for a few seconds.

"But... But why would a girl like you join the Guild?", Agda asked when she finally overcame her surprise. The Nord sounded both shocked and confused. "You're a good warrior, you could make a living out of that!"

Adaeze sighed. There were parts of her past that were very shady, and despite her faith in the whole _honesty is the best policy_ thing, the Redguard decided to keep them hidden from Agda. She wasn't ready to tell her about her past as a thief in Bravil - actually, Adaeze thought she would never be ready to reveal that to anyone. Nonetheless, the girl believed that Agda deserved to learn the full truth about the previous year of her life.

"When you first met me, I'd just tried to cross the border between Cyrodiil and Skyrim ", the Redguard said while looking her friend in the eyes. "I was a thief back then too, and I was running away from the guards of Bruma. I chose that life after my parents died".

Agda frowned. She already knew about the tragic destiny of Adaeze's parents - when their only daughter was only ten, the two unlucky Redguards had been murdered by the Thalmor.

"But why would you look for the Guild even in Skyrim?", Agda asked Adaeze. "You could have stayed in Riverwood, get yourself an honest life, find a…"

"Find a fine man like Hadvar", the Redguard chuckled. "I'm sorry, Agda. I know you thought me to be better than that. Actually, I went to Riften because I have a Redguard friend there. I wanted her to find me a decent job, but I quickly realized that thieving was the only thing I'm good at. Old habits die hard, I suppose".

Agda realized that there was a lot Adaeze wasn't telling her, but decided not to press on the matter - after all, the poor Redguard already looked very embarrassed.

"A thief turned guard", Agda chuckled in an attempt to raise Adaeze's spirit. "That's a story to tell. But why did you actually give up your former job? Did you want a honest life or was there something else?"

"I left just because the Thieves Guild is having a lot of bad luck", Adaeze explained. "As a consequence, their leaders come up with very stupid ideas. They even created a fake network of carriage drivers in order to increase their entries, but it isn't really working".

At the mention of those fake carriage drivers, Agda frowned.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that the guy I hired in Dawnstar the other day…"

"Vipir? If he's a carriage driver, I am a mushroom. Have you paid him a lot of money?"

When Agda nodded, Adaeze sighed.

"I'm sorry dear, I wished I could have warned you. The second in command of the Guild decided to have some of us work as carriage drivers after we accidentally got hold of a decent horse. Sadly enough, that project isn't paying off at all - actually, when I first rode to Markarth with our stolen horse and our little carriage, I almost ended up in jail. That's why I decided to leave the Guild: I wasn't going to put up with their ridiculous plans anymore".

"But why exactly did you choose to become a guard?", Agda asked in confusion. "And in Winterhold, of all places!"

Adaeze slightly blushed.

"You remember Hadvar, don't you?"

Agda huffed. _Of course she remembered Hadvar_.

"Well, he was stationed in the Rift for most of last year", Adaeze explained. "After our argument on New Life Festival, I reached his camp and begged him to forgive me. I know I shouldn't have slept with Sven, but I was so drunk! Also, that night Hadvar was stroking a pillar and believing it was me, so he wasn't doing much better".

Agda had to admit that Adaeze had a point.

"Sadly enough, that stubborn stinky baboon didn't even want to see me, let alone _talk_ to me", the Redguard snorted. "When I reached his camp for the fourth time in ten days, his captain told me that he was gone. Therefore, after I left the Guild, I decided to join the Stormcloaks and take revenge on that psycho".

Agda deadpanned.

" _You did what_?"

Adaeze blushed.

"Listen, I wasn't thinking rationally, ok? I just wanted to take revenge on the stinky baboon. By the way, I didn't pass the admittance test. I almost froze to death while trying to reach the island where I was supposed to prove my value or do some stupid Nordic thing like that, so I backed down here in Winterhold. The Jarl was looking for new guards, so I applied for the job".

Agda blinked in astonishment.

"In few words, you joined the Winterhold guards because your project of becoming a Stormcloak and killing Hadvar failed", she repeated.

"I wasn't planning to kill him!", Adaeze protested. When someone said it out loud, her plan for revenge sounded even more stupid tan it actually was. "More like mutilate him, or maim him permanently, but I never meant to kill him! I was a thief, not a member of the Dark Brotherhood!"

Agda burst into laughter at her friend's shocked expression. In an attempt to change topic, Adaeze suddenly remembered about Steinarius.

"Apropos, how are things between you and Crepusculus?", the Redguard said while blinking an eye. "It's been a while since you last sent me a letter, and it's been even longer since you last mentioned him".

When Agda stopped laughing and gave her an eloquent look, Adaeze banged her fist on the table.

"Come on, Agda of Anvil: let's get to Windhelm, join the Stormcloaks and go maim our loved ones. That's the perk of having your best friend falling for a man of the Legion too!"

Agda laughed, but there was no happiness in that sound – just bitterness and a huge amount of sadness.

"We were together, Adaeze. Steinarius and I, I mean".

Adaeze's hazel eyes became huge with surprise.

"Together? Like… Together together?", she asked with a very explicit gesture.

"Together together", Agda confirmed.

Confronted with her sad look, Adaeze frowned.

"Oh girl, I would have never told that Steinarius was such a bad lover! You look distraught! Did he have problems down south?"

"He didn't have problems _down south_ ", Agda snorted. "Actually, his problems were all _up north_. I'm afraid the boy is about to get mad". There was a brief pause, then Agda spoke again. "He wished my brother to die, then he dumped me".

Adaeze was shocked by those words. As she draped her arms around Agda and allowed her to cry on her shoulder, the Redguard realized that, all in all, Steinarius Crepusculus deserved to be maimed much more than her adorable stinky baboon did.

* * *

On the following morning, as Agda walked up the stairs to have breakfast in the Hall of Attainment, she felt as though she was moving around in her sleep.

After a heavy night of drinking and cursing and insulting Steinarius together with Adaeze, the girl had no idea how she'd managed to find her way back to the College. Also, her head felt dizzy because of the tears she'd shed over the Imperial - right when Agda thought she'd got over him, her memory had taken the chance to remind her that nope, there was no way she could forget about the first man she'd ever really loved.

Agda' sleepiness continued for the rest of the day. Sergius got mad at her when she accidentally used a major soul gel rather than a minor one, whereas Colette told her off in an unusually harsh way. Nonetheless, the first lesson with Tolfdir was enough for the girl to shake off her tiredness. While Agda was fighting hard to stay awake, the man namely said something that deeply affected her.

"I'll be waiting for you in Saarthal in two days", the old mage smiled at the end of his lecture. "See you there!"

Agda deadpanned. Saarthal was the very stuff legends were made of – also, it was the kind of stuff young mages who couldn't even swing a sword feared with all their heart and mind and soul.

"What does it mean that Tolfdir will be waiting for us in Saarthal?", the girl asked J'zargo. If there was one person who knew what was going on, that was the zealant Khajit.

"Haven't you heard what the wise old wizard said?", J'zargo asked in disbelief. "This one is going to Saarthal to help along with the excavations. Oh, and J'zargo's colleagues are coming too".

When she heard those words, Agda felt on the brink of fainting. With the fastest speed her brain could muster at that moment, the girl realized a few things.

Firstly, she couldn't act ill in order to avoid Saarthal – after all, Colette would notice that in less than a heartbeat.

Secondly, if she was to survive Saarthal, she needed to go to the library and ask what kind of creatures dwelled in there. Also, she probably needed to pray to the Nine Divines - actually, including some prayers to the Divinities of Mer looked like a very good idea too.

Thirdly, if the Gods weren't going to help her, Agda needed a sword, or whatever else could cut through an enemy's body in case her magicka ran out. Sadly enough, the girl also needed to learn how to swing said sword - and all in two days time.

As soon as she realized that, Agda grabbed her cloak and put off her lessons for that afternoon.

She needed Adaeze – and for once, the two girls would be training with weapons rather than drinking themselves to Oblivion.


	32. With a little help from my friend

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I thank all my readers and followers and favoriters for their support. I'm overwhelmed by your appreciation for my story and I'm glad to see that you enjoy it. Also, a special _thank you_ goes to KSausage, Elspeth and Neshomeh for their lovely reviews. I'm very happy that you enjoyed my twist with the carriage driver and I'm glad that you liked the way I described Colette. Also, kudos to Elspeth for noticing the connection between Arniel and Ysgramor's soup spoon - that cracks me up all the time too and it inspired when I needed to describe the mages of the College. Also, I thank Neshomeh for taking a look at my story :)**

 **This week I wanted to publish a chapter including Agda's training before Saarthal and her exploration of Saarthal itself, but the resulting instalment was way too long to be posted at once. Therefore, I cut it in two parts and decided to post the first of them. The second one will be up as soon as I'm done revising it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **20th of Last Seed, E 202**

Agda and Adaeze looked at the weapons displayed in front of them.

"Do you have anything else?"

Confronted with the Redguard's question, Birna mumbled something under her breath and reached the upper store of her shop. Taking advantage from her brief absence, Agda shook her head in disbelief. She knew that Birna didn't sell a lot of merchandise, but she hadn't expected her to have just two weapons on sale.

"A steel dagger and a hunter bow", Adaeze slowly said. "What are you going to pick?"

"The dagger, of course", Agda replied without enthusiasm. "I would rather buy something dwarven, though".

Adaeze rolled her eyes. Agda had reached her less than an hour early and had confusingly jabbered something about the older mages of the College plotting to kill her. When Adaeze had finally got her to calm down and explain what was going on, the young Nord had told her about Saarthal. The former thief had frowned at the unexpected news: Agda was terrible at fighting and two days of training weren't going to change anything. In the attempt to help her friend, however, Adaeze had immediately taken a day off and led her to buy a decent weapon. Yet, that task was proving to be much more difficult than predicted.

"Agda of Anvil", Adaeze said with an irritated tone. "Just because Steinarius Crespusculus fights with a dwarven sword…"

"He doesn't fight with a dwarven sword", Agda corrected her. "He did have a dwarven sword the first time I met him, but he switched to an Imperial sword after revealing me that he was an officer of the Legion. As of late, however, he mainly wields a mercury sword called Dragonbane. You know, he loves experimenting with weapons".

Adaeze rolled her eyes.

"Now that you've described every item in Steinarius Crepusculus' armory, we can move on", she sighed without hiding her discontent. Sadly enough, it looked as though Agda still hadn't got over her crush for the Dragonborn. "Unfortunately, it is too late to make a trip to Windhelm, just like it is too late for you to learn how to use a bow", the Redguard added after examining the weapons Birna had on sale. "I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that dagger, Agda".

Before the mage could reply, Birna walked back in the room.

"I had this weapon hidden in a crate upstairs", the shopkeeper said while laying a rusty mace on the counter of her shop. "You can try it, if you want".

As soon as Adaeze saw the mace, she couldn't hide her relief. That weapon was old and rusty, but it was much better than the dagger Agda had originally chosen. The mage, on the other hand, twitched her nose. She was good at conjuring daggers and axes, but she wanted to buy a weapon in case her magicka ran out during the exploration of Saarthal. Sadly enough, that rusty mace didn't convince her at all.

"This weapon is perfect for you", Adaeze said after noticing her friend's doubtful expression. "You're a Nord, so you should have a great time with a mace like this".

Agda didn't agree, but reached for the weapon anyway. When she tried to wield it, however, she had a very bad surprise.

"Adaeze, I'm afraid I can't buy this weapon", she said while blushing as red as a tomato.

"Why not?"

"It's too heavy".

The Redguard frowned.

"What do you mean _it's too heavy_?"

"I mean this", Agda said under Adaeze and Birna's confused gazes. The girl was using both her hands to try and move the weapon, but without any result. "I can't even lift this mace from the counter, let alone swing it in battle".

As Adaeze heard those words, she deadpanned: for Agda, surviving in Saarthal was going to be much more difficult than predicted.

* * *

An hour later, the Redguard and the mage were walking towards Skytemple Ruins, an old burial site north of the College of Winterhold.

Rather than walking normally, Agda was sneaking for most of the time, a fact that slowed down their march. Annoyed by that fact, Adaeze suddenly lost her temper.

"Agda, the area is clear, so there's no need to walk around in that way", she snorted. "Also, if you and Steinarius get together again, do the world a favor: do not procreate".

Those words caused Agda to straighten her spine and pull a very offended expression.

"Excuse me?"

Adaeze sighed.

"Agda, try to imagine a child with your fighting skills and Steinarius' delicacy in dealing with people. The little one wouldn't last a day".

"The child may also inherit Steinarius' strength and my magical skills", Agda pointed out. "By the way, I'm not planning to get near that Imperial ever again, let alone indulge him in sinful activities that could lead to the birth of a child".

Adaeze laughed at Agda's annoyed tone. Her good mood, however, vanished less than five minutes later, when she and her friend finally reached the island where the ruins of Skytemple stood. Not only did Agda slip multiple times on the thick ice connecting the isle to the land - when she saw a skeleton patrolling the area, she also tried to avoid the upcoming fight by escaping back to Winterhold.

"No no no", Adaeze hissed while grabbing her friend by the sleeve of her mage robes. "Now you go there and face that thing, Agda. And use your dagger, while you're at it".

Encouraged by a powerful shove on Adaeze's part, Agda suddenly found herself in the middle of the road leading to the ruins. As predictable, her appearance immediately drew the attention of a nearby skeleton. Rather than facing it, however, the girl let out a high-pitched scream, turned her back to the threat and started running like an obsessed.

Adaeze sighed. She had to admit that that scene was quite funny: Agda was running with the fastest speed her legs could grant her, whereas the skeleton was doing its best to reach her and plant its sword in her back. Both figures were graceless and uncoordinated.

"Adaeze, heeeeeeelp!", Agda screamed when the skeleton got closer. Sadly enough, her lack of exercise didn't allow her to run for a very long time.

Despite her friend's terrified yells, Adaeze was determined not to help her.

"Agda, are you a Nord or what?", she shouted with a very outraged tone. "Wield your dagger and face that creature, now!"

Rather than obliging, Agda took a sudden turn and led the skeleton towards Adaeze. Guessing her plan, the Redguard started running and shouting insults at her friend.

"Oh no, Agda of Anvil, I'm not going to kill that creature on your behalf!", she screamed.

Despite the guard's words, the young mage kept on following her. Rolling her eyes, Adaeze deeply hoped no one could see her: she was running away from Agda, who was running away from a skeleton, who was running in order to reach the girls and kill them. Had someone come across that weird scene, Adaeze would have lost her reputation once and for all.

There was a sudden squeak and Adaeze turned to see that Agda had stumbled and fallen to the ground. Sighing, the Redguard made to run up to her and defend her from that damned skeleton – after all, when she'd screamed to Agda that she was ready to let her die, she was actually joking.

Luckily enough, when the skeleton closed in, Agda suddenly remembered her Nordic blood: with a shrill shout, she cast a firebolt that caused her enemy to explode. As the undead fell into pieces, Adaeze sighed in relief.

"Was it that difficult?", the Redguard said after walking up to Agda and helping her to her feet.

The mage gave her an outraged look.

"That thing wanted to kill me, Adaeze!", she said with a mixture of anger and fear and shock. " _Kill me_ , you hear me? I'm a healer, for Talos' sake, not a warrior! I'm so done with this training, I'm so fucking done with this…"

Adaeze unexpectedly burst into laughter.

"Come on, you skeleton slayer", she chuckled after grabbing a very confused Agda by the sleeve. "You've just killed your first undead. If you kill another one, tonight you can have some hot cocoa. Also, I may decide to present you one of my colleagues. His name is Zakkar and he's terribly sexy".

Agda pondered the offer for a few seconds, then sighed.

"Fine, I'll kill another one of the foul things", she said after rolling her eyes. "I'm doing it for the cocoa, by the way: right now I hate everything that has a skeleton, and that Zakkar guy is on the list".

A few minutes later, when Agda blew up the third skeleton of the day, Adaeze smiled. She hadn't missed the satisfied grin her friend sported right after killing (or _rekilling_ ) that creature; as a consequence, she was sure that, deep down in Agda' soul, there was an angry Nord barbarian who was only waiting to be released – and Saarthal could be the perfect chance to grant the poor fellow some well-deserved freedom.

* * *

The two days before the trip to Saarthal went by fast, almost too fast for Agda to realize it: she enchanted her new steel dagger with a frost-spell, she read many books about Nordic ruins and draugrs, she gloriously murdered a training dummy Adaeze had gently provided her. Nonetheless, the girl still didn't feel ready to face that adventure on her own.

Well aware of her weakness, the evening before her trip Agda went to the tallest tower of the College and walked around in her undergaments for more than an hour. Despite the cold, when she left the tower the girl felt perfectly fine. Cursing her Nordic blood and her resistance to frost, she went to bed and had a very troubled night.

Agda had a series of scary nightmares, the scariest ones she'd ever had: she dreamed of getting killed by a skeleton while Adaeze was looking at her from afar, she dreamed of an evil tankard of hot cocoa trying to murder her, she dreamed of a cannibal draugr feasting on her entrails after gutting her with a mace. All the while, the girl didn't wake up.

The scenery of her dreams eventually changed. Agda was now in a warm place where everything was covered by ash and the sky had an unusual reddish color. She was standing in front of a tall column made of stone and all around her there were people – Nords and Dark Elves, traders and bandits – who were working hard and chanting something under their breath. Then, a man arrived.

The stranger had a sunburnt face that made his white teeth and his grey eyes look even lighter than they were. His tan ended abruptly around the neck of his cuirass, showing that he wasn't used to the warm weather of that land. He strode towards the column with a lot of confidence, then he said something in a language Agda didn't know. All of a sudden, a terrifying creature emerged from the stone and faced the stranger.

Agda watched in awe as the man dodged the attacks of that monster, advanced and retreated, waltzed in a deadly dance that managed to bring him closer and closer to the creature and its nasty claws. The girl had never seen anything like that.

As swiftly as it had begun, everything ended: the stranger buried the hilt of his sword in the side of the creature and allowed a tiny smirk to light his face – or, at least, the part of it that wasn't shadowed by his helmet.

Before the man could rejoice in victory, however, a globe of ink-black tentacles emerged from behind him and trapped him in a vicious grip. The stranger tried to fight it, but the creature was way too strong: Agda saw the man's helmet fall off his face, then she saw one of the tentacles leave a red welt on one of his cheeks. As the stranger screamed in pain, he crossed eyes with her – and as she recognized Steinarius, Agda shouted with him. Nonetheless, their yells weren't enough to cover the slow, hideous voice that laughed at their agony.

 _Very soon_ , Agda heard the voice say. _Very soon you will be my slaves_.

* * *

"Good morning honey, it's time to shine!"

As an effect of Colette's voice and her terrifying nightmare, Agda jolted upright with a squeak. On the other side of the hall, Onmund snorted and turned in his bed. By now he had got used to being awoken by Agda' screams.

"What... what time is it?", Agda asked while trying to calm her frantic heartbeat. She could still feel the taste of ash in her mouth and Steinarius' terrifying screams in her ears.

"It's five minutes past dawn, sweetheart", Colette Marette answered with a smile. "You're late for our lesson".

Realizing that she'd just had a very vivid nightmare, Agda sighed in relief. A second later, she finally managed to focus on Colette's words.

"Tolfdir will be waiting for me in Saarthal at 8.30", she frowned. "Are we going to train anyway?"

"I know about Tolfdir, dear", Colette replied with a smile. "Yet, I want you to master a new healing spell before sunset".

Agda's eyes lit up in hope.

"So I'm not going to Saarthal?"

"Honey, of course you're going to Saarthal!", the Restoration teacher chuckled. "First, however, I want you to train with me for a couple of hours".

"Are you coming to the ruins too?"

As she asked that question, Agda tried to make her eyes look as big and sweet as a puppy's. Colette was weird, but her presence always managed to reassure her; therefore, the young Nord deeply wished she would join her in her adventure. Sadly enough, Agda's hopes were crushed by a little laughter.

"Are you kidding me, Agda? I'm a healer, not a warrior!"

As she begrudgingly left her bed, Agda snorted. She couldn't understand why those words could allow Colette to avoid Saarthal, but had no importance when they were uttered by a simple student like her.

* * *

When Colette finally allowed her to reach the other students, Agda sighed. She was still recovering from her nightmare and her stomach was behaving weirdly as a consequence of the time she'd spent walking around naked on the previous evening. Also, her lesson in Restoration had drained her magicka, whereas the training with Adaeze had left her tired and sore. The girl didn't feel ready to face a normal day at the College, let alone a morning of explorations in Saarthal.

The young mage's mood worsened after meeting her friends. Onmund was clearly upset about visiting a Nordic burial site, whereas Brelyna was visibly content. As for J'zargo, he was gleaming with happiness. Agda almost expected him to start purring.

While facing the road towards Saarthal, the Khajit insisted on taking a shortcut. Said shortcut actually led the group of mages to the shores of the Sea of Ghosts, where an angry pack of Horker suddenly attacked them. Agda cursed: being murdered by a draugr had a certain fascination to it, but being killed by an overgrown walrus was utterly ridicolous.

After escaping the pack of angry Horker, Agda and the other students finally reached Saarthal, where Tolfdir was waiting for them with a huge smile on his face.

The young healer's nervousness didn't go unnoticed: the older wizard grabbed her by the arm, then gently pinched her cheek.

"Come on little one, there's nothing to fear!"

And with that encouragement, Agda finally entered the first settlement her ancestors had ever built in Skyrim.

She was finally ready to venture in Saarthal.


	33. Under Saarthal

**Author's note:**

 **Here's the second part of the previous chapter. This week I've managed to publish two instalments at once, but I'm not sure whether this will happen again any time soon. By the way, it's time for our little Agda to face her first true adventure.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **22nd of Last Seed, 4E 202**

The first thing Agda noticed inside Saarthal was the smell - a smell of dust and dampness and decay that caused the girl to cough violently. The only time she'd come across that smell, Agda had just been attacked by a vampire - and in her opinion, that was a very bad coincidence.

Despite that first unpleasant impression, Agda soon realized that she felt safer inside the ruins than in the wilds - in Saarthal at least there were some signs of civilization. Also, the teachers of the College soon reassured her with their smiles.

Ignoring Onmund's complaints and J'zargo's enthusiasm, Agda remained close to Tolfdir for most of the guided tour of the burial site. When the older mage gave each student a task, the girl panicked: there was no way she was abandoning her teacher to venture in those ruins alone.

Agda's frightened expression didn't go unnoticed. Tolfdir chuckled, then grabbed her by the elbow and led her towards Arniel Gane, who was going to be her tutor for that morning. As she walked past Enthir, Agda could hear him mutter something about gutless healers. Luckily for him, the young mage was too shocked to reply.

Once Tolfdir bid Agda goodbye, Arniel asked her to look for enchanted objects scattered inside the ruins. The girl was reassured by that task: not only was her job very easy - her working area was also very close to her teacher's.

After a few minutes of explorations, the young healer eventually relaxed: she was inside a Nordic ruin, but nothing had tried to kill her yet. Tolfdir was probably right: the place was completely safe.

As time flew by, Agda started noticing the fascinating structure of the ruins, the beauty of the magic rings she'd found until then, the feeling of greatness and power radiating from those ancient stones. Right after the girl admitted to herself that Saarthal wasn't such a bad place, however, an unexpected fact had her change her mind.

Arniel had looked pleased when Agda had shown him the rings she'd found until that moment. Willing to impress him even further, the girl discovered a little jewel hanging from a weird stone structure encased in a wall. Fascinated by its elaborated decorations, Agda grabbed the necklace in order to study it more carefully. As soon as she heard a loud noise, the Nord immediately understood that something was wrong, deeply and horribly wrong.

All of a sudden, Agda noticed Arniel and Tolfdir's worried voices. At first she didn't understand why the teachers sounded so upset, but then she understood that she'd just got trapped in that part of the ruins. That realization was enough to make her panick: had something attacked her, she wouldn't have been able to run away. Also, the room she was trapped in was too narrow for her to defend herself with a spell.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE, NOW!", the girl squeaked in a very shrill voice. "I AM SO DONE WITH ADVENTURING, I AM SOOO-"

"It always happens to the most nervous students", Tolfdir sighed as soon as he was confronted with Agda's terrified expression.

Arniel instead snorted and went back to his room, leaving Agda alone with the older wizard.

When the girl produced another high-pitched scream, Tolfdir chuckled: he was used to leading terrified students across Saarthal and was actually amused by Agda's horrified expression.

After looking at the weird stone structure where the necklace was hanging before Agda got trapped, Tolfdir suggested she used a spell on that wall. Agda wasn't sure whether the plan was going to work, but had no other option; as a consequence, she calmed her nerves and did her best to follow Tolfdir's instructions.

There was an explosion, then the spikes preventing Agda from reaching the older man disappeared. Without caring for her reputation, the healer ran past Tolfdir and made for the exit of the ruins.

If the College needed any further proof of her inclination for healing, there they were.

* * *

Sadly for Agda, Tolfdir wasn't simply used to dealing with nervous students - he was also used to helping them overcome their fears. He therefore cast a calming spell on the girl and grabbed her by the elbow, thus convincing her to go through the corridor that had appeared in place of the weird stone structure that had caused Agda to get trapped in the first place. Influenced by his spell, the young healer followed him without complaints.

The two mages ended up in a small room with a few coffins along the walls. Before Agda could realize what was going on, one of the coffins burst open and a very menacing creature walked out of it.

Agda had already seen draugrs - at least, she'd seen them painted on the many books of the College. Yet, those paintings couldn't convey their smell of dried blood and rotten flesh, the way their junctures and armors creaked when they moved, the way their lifeless eyes scorched her own with a look that was entirely made of hatred and evilness and death. Although once upon a time those creatures had been living beings with thoughts and dreams and desires, they were now reduced to an empty shell made of revulsion and rage.

Agda was taken aback by her first encounter with a draugr; yet, the fear forced a rush of adrenaline to run through her, causing the young Nord to cast a powerful spell against the enemy. Although it was on fire, the undead said something and launched another attack. Even if she wasn't proficient in the language those things used, Agda could tell the draugr had just insulted her; also, her Nordic instict had her dodge the sword that was slowly moving towards her head. A second later, the healer cast another firebolt. With a horrible gurgling sound, the draugr died for the second time in its existence.

When the fight was over, Agda was left panting in the aftermath of her efforts. Tolfdir had dispatched two draugrs, but before the girl could realize it, everything around her began to spin. The air seemed to become thicker, whereas the colours of the room swayed in front of her eyes. A second later, a weird mage appeared in front of Agda and looked at her with his piercing gaze. He was an Altmer and was wearing exotic, old-fashioned robes. Before Agda could overcome her surprise, the man spoke.

"Hold, mage, and listen well: know that you have set in motion a chain of events that cannot be stopped.", he said with his booming, mysterious voice. "Judgment has not been passed, as you had no way of knowing. Judgment will be passed on your actions to come, and how you deal with the dangers ahead of you. This warning is passed to you because the Psijic Order believes in you. You, mage, and you alone, have the potential to prevent disaster. Take great care, and know that the Order is watching".

The air shifted again and Agda found herself blinking in confusion at the now empty space in front of her eyes. Her mind was full of questions: who was that Altmer mage? What judgement was that weirdo talking about? And most of all, for what damned reason was he talking about her actions rather than Tolfdir's? It was the older wizard who had insisted on going through that passage, not her!

Despite her absent-minded personality, Tolfdir immediately noticed that something was off. Prompted by his questions, Agda told him about the vision she'd just had. The man frowned, then said that members of the Psijic Order hadn't been spotted in Skyrim for more than a century. Agda took those words as a kind way to let her know that she was losing her mind.

Despite the girl's nervousness, Tolfdir insisted they ventured further in the ruins. When the older wizard not-that-secretly made to cast another calming spell, Agda agreed to follow him without protests.

For the first time in her life, she deeply regretted joining the College.

* * *

The following room was much bigger than the ones Agda had seen until that moment. Also, it had an impressive amount of coffins lined up along the walls.

Before Tolfdir could walk into that chamber, the girl tried to stop him with a gesture. Nonetheless, the man simply chuckled and ventured further in the room. There was a moment of perfect silence, then all the coffins burst open at the same time.

 _Wonderful_ , Agda thought with a snort. At first the girl had the temptation of hiding in the shadows and let Tolfdir do the hard work - after all, he was the one who'd dragged her along in that adventure. Yet, when four draugrs attacked him at once, the young healer changed her mind - after all, she didn't want the man's death to haunt her for years to come.

With a shrill scream, Agda abandoned her place behind the door and cast a firebolt against the nearest enemy. The draugr immediately moved towards her and tried to kill her with his heavy sword. Luckily enough, the long inactivity made the creature slow and inaccurate in his movements; as a consequence, Agda easily dodged its attacks and killed the draugr with another spell.

When a second undead turned towards her, the girl was surprised - and she was even more surprised when the creature cast a very strong frost spell. Agda had expected ancient Nords to hate magic as much as their grand-grand-grand-grandchildren, but that clearly wasn't the case.

Taken aback by that unexpected attack, Agda only managed to summon a weak ward. The magic barrier lessened the strength of the frost spell, but it didn't prevent Agda from falling to the ground as a consequence of the collision between the ice and the ward. Before the draugr could attack her again, Tolfdir beheaded it with a conjured axe.

"That was a good fight indeed!", the old wizard said with a smile. "I'm old, but I can still kill my enemies!"

Agda couldn't understand why Tolfdir was so happy. Yet, one thing she understood: there was no way she was going to proceed in that crazy mission.

When she informed the older teacher of her decision, Tolfdir chuckled.

"Let's just see what lies behind that corridor", he said after activating a weird mechanism that opened a new passage in a nearby wall. "Then I promise I'll let you return to the College".

Rolling her eyes, Agda followed her teacher in the next room - after all, she felt safer with him rather than alone.

A few seconds later, the young healer and Tolfdir came across a big black door.

"Go and have a look at it, Agdy", Tolfdir said with enthusiasm. "I'll join you immediately".

Sighing, Agda followed her orders - perhaps, if she was stealthy enough, she could walk past draugrs without waking them up.

After opening that old black door, the young healer waited for Tolfdir to join her. She waited a minute, two, three, four, then she finally understood that something was off. When she tried to open the door again, Agda's face went blank: something was preventing her from fulfilling that action. The girl cast every single spell she knew, knocked on the door for a countless amount of times, wrestled with its handle for a couple of minutes, tried to knock it down with a particularly powerful (at least for her standards) kick. Yet, the door didn't give in - and from the other side of it, Agda could hear no sounds at all.

With a shiver, the young healer realized that she was alone in the depths of Saarthal.

* * *

Agda waited for someone to rescue her for what felt like a lifetime. She even tried to call Tolfdir's name, but no one answered her. Eventually, the girl understood that she was completely on her own. In that situation, she could only go one way - and that way was forward.

Sighing, Agda took her head between her hands. She didn't know what time of the day it was, just like she didn't know how long it would take Tolfdir to realize that she was missing and unlock the door. She only knew that she was very likely to die in that place.

After cursing herself for her stupidity, the girl began insulting many people she knew - she insulted Tolfdir for getting her in that situation, she insulted Delphine for convincing her to join to the College, she even insulted Steinarius because, if he hadn't gone full psycho on her, she would have been able to resume her life in Riverwood immediately after her short trip to High Rock.

When Agda was done insulting half of the population of Skyrim, she tried to get a hold of herself - and surprisingly enough, right then the thought of Steinarius managed to make her feel better. If even a clumsy guy like him could waltz through ancient ruins and make it out of it unscathed, perhaps she had a chance at it too.

 _Agda of Anvil, in your young life you already faced a vampire and you even killed a Thalmor_ , a voice on the back of her mind encouraged her. _Draugrs are just rotten corpses with threatening eyes, you can kill them too!_

Agda didn't know whether the voice in her mind was right, but she decided to follow its encouragement. Perhaps she'd be lucky enough to find a key to the door in the nearby corridors.

Sighing, Agda got up from the floor and tentatively ventured in the rooms in front of her. _Necessity is the mother of invention_ , people in Cyrodiil often said - and when she came across a chamber full of coffins and draugrs, Agda had a very good proof of it.

When she heard the undead say something in their weird language, the young healer tried to keep her cool and think about all the spells she knew. A second later, she came up with a strategy.

Furrowing her brow, Agda increased her health with a stoneflesh spell, then she muffled her movements with another spell. At that point, the girl ventured inside the room.

Thanks to her strategy, Agda could take a few steps without anyone noticing her. Luckily enough, that allowed her to prepare a series of fire runes leading to the place where she was planning to hide. At that point the girl summoned a Frost Atronach and forced it to face the draugrs gathered inside the room.

Agda' strategy was very successful: as soon as they saw the Atronach, all the draugrs followed it towards the entrance of the room. The creature led them to the runes its conjurer had previously created, thus causing the undead to roast to death in a matter of seconds. Hidden behind a huge burial urn, Agda killed the remaining draugrs with a few more spells.

When the room stopped shaking in the aftermath of the explosions, Agda grinned: when it came to exploring old burial sites, cleverness was as useful as sheer force.

* * *

Agda walked through Saarthal for what felt like ages. She killed every draugr she saw by relying on her usual combination of traps, spells and atronachs, a fact that had her take a very important decision: if she got out of that place alive, she would beg Phinis to train her in conjuration magic.

Along the way Agda was careful enough to avoid the many traps her ancestors had prepared for adventurers and possible enemies. Also, she had the chance to come across a pair of very rare Nordic puzzles. The girl had read about them in some books, but had never thought she could actually see one of them.

It took her very long to understand the first puzzle, but Agda eventually found a way to continue her exploration of Saarthal. She'd gone back to the black door already twice, but then Agda had stopped looking at the path behind her. She was probably the first living being to set foot in Saarthal in the last hundred of years and she soon started to enjoy what she saw. The decorations on the wall, the offerings to the dead, the carefully elaborated traps... The girl had to admit that everything inside that old settlement was extremely fascinating.

Eventually, the girl reached a little room at the end of a corridor. When she saw the alchemy lab inside it, Agda couldn't stifle a grin: she was running out of magicka potions and was looking forward to brewing something with the mushrooms she'd found until that moment.

As soon as Agda got down to work, a sudden noise had her straighten her spine and cast a firebolt in the direction of the threat. When she realized that she'd almost incinerated Tolfdir, the young healer couldn't hide her surprise.

"I finally unlocked the door", the old mage told her with a smile. "Yet, it looks like you're doing well even without me".

In normal circumstances, Agda would have reacted to Tolfdir's amused expression by shouting an ungodly series of insults. Nonetheless, the surprise of meeting him prevented her from speaking.

"Come on Agda, let's see what else awaits us", the old mage said.

Sighing, the girl decided to follow her teacher. She'd made it that far on her own, so she thought she could go much further with Tolfdir's help. Also, now she was sincerely curious to find out more about Saarthal.

To Agda's relief, her exploration of that old burial site was finally over. She and Tolfdir namely reached the last chamber of Saarthal, which was much bigger than all the other rooms they'd visited until that moment. Yet, the two mages weren't taken aback by the dimension of that chamber - actually, they were mostly impressed by the globe of light in the middle of it. Agda had never seen anything like that: it was a mysterious orb wrapped in a beautiful blue light that vaguely reminded her of the banner of the College. As she walked towards it, the girl also felt the pure magic energy it was radiating.

Agda smiled: that thing was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, and it had been uncovered thanks to her.

It looked as though her choice to venture in Saarthal had actually paid off.

* * *

Sadly enough, Agda's joy was short-lived. As Tolfdir touched the orb, a loud growl echoed through the room. A second later, a very threatening corpse arose from a throne in the middle of the chamber. Distracted by the mysterious globe of light, nor Agda, nor Tolfdir had noticed the danger.

The creature seemed to take a sharp intake of air, then it spoke in a very unnerving voice. When she was hit by an unexpected rush of wind, Agda understood what was happening: the draugr had just used the power of the Thu'um to swipe her off her feet.

By the time the healer could overcome her shock, it was already too late: the creature had shouted her to the other side of the room, causing her to collide against the wall. Wincing in pain, Agda fell to the ground and hit her head.

Everything began to move slowly, so slowly that the girl could clearly hear Tolfdir's screams and see the old man cast a series of spell towards the mysterious orb. Before Agda could scream at him that the enemy was the draugr, and not that globe of light, the older wizard shouted again.

"Agda, the undead is vulnerable now! Kill it with a spell, quickly!"

Spurred by that shout, Agda summoned her magicka and conjured a Frost Atronach. A second later, she cast a powerful fire spell that engulfed the draugr in high flames. The creature let out a screeching sound, then fell dead under the combined effect of the fire, of the Atronach's attacks and of Tolfdir' spells.

Agda was taken aback by the calm that suddenly reigned inside the chamber: Tolfdir was panting heavily beside the orb and her Atronach had crumbled to pieces, but everything else was completely, perfectly still.

Willing to find out more about the draugr that had attacked her, Agda tried to get up from her place on the floor. The collision with the wall had caused a sharp pain to run through her ribs, but the girl solved the problem with a strong healing spell. Right then, however, Agda used her hand to clean the sweat from her forehead. As she did it, she noticed the blood dripping from a deep cut on her pointing finger. Under a closer examination, Agda realized that one of her nails was broken and that there was more blood dripping from her thumb. Apparently, she'd injured her hand after falling to the floor.

That last surprise was too much for the young girl to take: she'd faced draugrs and Altmers and slaughterfish, but she still couldn't stand the sight of her own blood. As a consequence, as soon as she took in her broken nail, Agda gasped and fell once again to the floor.

For the first time in her life, she discovered what it was like to faint.


	34. Thick as thieves

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with an update. The special _thank you_ of the week goes to the lovely Elspeth and to dear Guest, who always have very nice words for my fic. I'm glad you found Agda's adventure in Saarthal hilarious and I'm happy to see that I wasn't the only one who once feared draugrs like hell. My first encounter with undead took place while I was roaming the planes of Whiterun and a random skeleton killed me before I could realize what had hit me. Embarassing, I know, but since then I was downright terrified by skeletons - and when I found out about draugrs during my first exploration of Bleak Falls Barrow, I almost stopped playing Skyrim altogether. As for Krosis, he had me escape Spearpoint, leaving poor Farkas to battle alone with him - in case you're wondering, yes, Agda's personality is based on my own wimpy characters from the game. Anyway.**

 **This new chapter sets the premise for the upcoming instalments, which will hopefully provide you with some nice surprises. I namely plan a certain character to pop up again in the story - also, I'm working on a very interesting meeting for Agda. In the meantime, let's find out about our girl's new adventures.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **29th of Last Seed, 4E 202**

Whimpering, Agda stirred in her sleep. The girl felt tired and sore and bruised and had no wish to wake up. Sadly enough, someone beside her had a very different opinion.

"For Mara' sake, Agda, you've been sleeping for more than thirteen hours! I know that you've had a tiring day, but it's high time you got up!"

Surprised by that irritated remark, the young mage jolted awake. As she sat upright, the Nord noticed that she was tucked in her comfortable bed at the College. The Hall of Attainment looked completely empty and for a second Agda thought that her adventure in Saarthal had been just a very vivid nightmare. When she recognized the worried woman who had risen her, however, the mage realized that she was wrong.

"Adaeze, what are you doing here?"

"Checking on you, troublemaker, that's what I'm doing". There was a brief moment of silence, then Adaeze unexpectedly threw her arms around Agda. "You cannot imagine how happy I am to see you".

Adaeze's relief caused Agda to furrow a brow.

"So you didn't believe I would survive Saarthal", she pointed out after escaping the former thief's embrace.

"Let's say that the odds weren't in your favor, you wimpy warrior", Adaeze chuckled. She didn't even try to mask her feelings towards Agda's adventure in Saarthal, a fact that slightly upset the young Nord. "Come on, tell me what happened in those ruins: you know that I'm a sucker for details".

"There's not a lot to say", Agda replied with a grimace. "I was trapped in Saarthal for a whole day, I almost got killed more times than I could count, a draugr shouted me through a room… It was downright horrible, Adaeze. I'm glad it is over".

The other woman laughed.

"Come on Agda, you should be proud of yourself! You came out of those ruins unscathed!"

"I broke a nail, Adaeze", the mage pointed out while raising a bandaged hand. "And my mind has been scarred once and for all. By the way, what are you doing here? Civilians aren't allowed inside the College".

"I'm not a civilian", Adaeze said while pointing at her guard uniform. "I'm a warrior of Winterhold and I'm here to enquire about what you found in Saarthal". Spurred by Agda's confused expression, Adaeze resumed speaking. "Jarl Korir has been informed of your discovery and has asked his guards to investigate about it. You were brought back to the College yesterday evening and have been sleeping ever since. When my colleagues complained about waiting for you to wake up, I decided to enquire about your adventure myself".

"And why would the Jarl of Winterhold be interested in my adventure?"

"The guy's a paranoid: he thinks that the College is set on destroying Winterhold, so he wants to know more about that weird thing you found in Saarthal. By the way, I heard that even the Archmage wants to speak to you. It looks like your tiny adventure has set many things in motion, my dear".

That last sentence reminded Agda of the weird mage from the Psijic Order who appeared to her in Saarthal.

As she thought about her meeting with that strange elf, the girl was shaken by a sudden realization - her discovery had likely marked the beginning of a new era for the whole of Winterhold.

* * *

The week after Saarthal was full of surprises for Agda.

After being questioned by Adaeze and by another couple of guards, the girl was asked to visit the Archmage of the College. Savos Aren was fun and kind and sweet and seemed very excited about her discovery. Ancano, on the other hand, looked deeply annoyed by the whole matter.

The Thalmor reached Agda a few minutes after her conversation with the Archmage. The girl wasn't surprised: luckily enough, Faralda had warned about the man's desire to talk to her just a few minutes earlier.

 _If you speak to Ancano, please be careful_ , the Destruction trainer had told her young pupil. _I don't like that man_.

Agda had been moved by Faralda's attention towards her: she'd thanked her from the bottom of the heart, then she'd reached the courtyard of the College, where she'd been immediately approached by Ancano. During the whole time of their brief encounter the man sported a fake smile that couldn't hide his dislike for the girl.

Ancano asked Agda many questions, to which the young mage replied with vague and undetailed answers. If even Faralda was worried about him, it meant that the Thalmor was up to no good; as a consequence, Agda was determined not to give him any important information. After his quick conversation with the girl, Ancano mumbled something about silly healers and retreated in his private room at the College.

Unlike that unsettling Thalmor, all the other mages of Winterhold were very impressed by Agda's behavior in Saarthal - actually, many of them were so impressed that they started thinking that the girl was the most talented apprentice the College had ever had. The Nord tried to clear that misunderstanding by explaining that she'd survived Saarthal thanks to a combination of luck, adrenaline and more luck, but no one believed her; as a consequence, after her return to the College everyone started treating her like a master of survival.

Surprisingly enough, the first one to talk to Agda with renewed respect was J'zargo. The Khajit was proud and ambitious and clearly loved boasting, but he was ready to seek advice in anyone who could help him improve his skills; therefore, he soon asked Agda to aid him with one of his experiments.

Over the following days many other people begged Agda to fulfill some tasks on their behalf. Sergius for example wanted her to enchant weapons for his customers, whereas Colette had her heal a few ill guards; Tolfdir asked her to write down her thoughts about Saarthal in a journal, while Mirabelle needed her help to brew some powerful magicka potions. Agda accepted those requests without complaining, but was slightly upset when Drevis asked her to cleanse the magical point of focus around the College. Also, the girl was downright terrified when Brelyna voiced her desire to try a new spell on her – after being turned into a chicken on her first volunteering session, Agda thought the young Dunmer to be as dangerous as a Jyrik Gauldurson himself.

After receiving one too many tasks from her colleagues, Agda was forced to make a few choices: she could help Tolfdir retrieve his missing alembic, sure, but she wasn't willing to help Enthir with his mysterious magical shaft; she was ready to assist Phinis by trapping the souls of many unlucky atronachs inside his gems, alright, but she wasn't going to dive head first into a Falmer den just to retrieve some books Urag wanted to read. But most of all, Agda wasn't going to accept any task from the local Jarl. Although Korir subsequently started calling her an _Imperial moron_ , the young healer couldn't care less: there was no way she was going to find an old helmet in order to increase that lunatic's importance in the war talks.

Sadly enough, Agda soon had to break her vow of remaining in Winterhold until the end of the Fourth Era. When Savos Aren asked her to retrieve a few important books from Fellglow Keep, the girl could namely do nothing but nod her head in agreement and curse her bad luck between gritted teeth.

Unfortunately for the former innkeeper, even the Archmage of the College believed her to be much more lethal than she actually was.

* * *

Agda didn't feel ready to face the mages dwelling in Fellglow Keep on her own. When she complained about that to Colette, the Breton did something completely unexpected: she talked to Mirabelle, then she organized a little meeting between her pupil and the master of wizardry of the College.

"Savos and I thought that you could do a decent work on your own, that's why we gave you that task", Mirabelle said with her usual kindness and understanding. "However, Agda, we don't want you to feel uncomfortable about your job; as a consequence, you can ask one or two people to come with you. The College will pay you and your helpers a fair amount of money".

Agda was incredibly relieved by those words. Fighting the urge to hug Mirabelle, the young healer immediately ran to the barracks of the local guards and asked Adaeze for help. The Redguard accepted that quest with a smile: she couldn't wait to go on a trip with her best friend and protect her from every threat that came their way.

* * *

Fellglow Keep was a little abandoned fort not far from Whiterun. Given the position of the building, Adaeze asked her friend Vipir for a lift. Although Agda wasn't happy about it, the thief-turned-driver reached Winterhold on a cold sunny morning and took it upon himself to lead the two girls to their destination.

"I've already seen you, haven't I?", Vipir asked after hugging Adaeze and looking at Agda.

The mage snorted.

"You basically stole me 75 septims", she reminded him. "You said that there was new fee for all those who took your carriage and wanted to join the College".

Vipir laughed.

"Oh, now I remember! Sorry about that, girl: I had no idea you were friend with Adaeze".

Despite her prejudices, during her journey Agda had to admit that Vipir was a very pleasant man. Sure, his driving style was unsmooth and sometimes downright dangerous, but his continuous chatter with Adaeze kept the mage hooked for most of the time.

Thanks to her travelling companions, Agda learned a lot about the infamous Thieves Guild of Riften, an organization that had always fascinated her to no end. When Adaeze asked Vipir about his job, the conversation got particularly interesting.

"Sadly enough, this will be my last adventure as a carriage driver", the thief admitted with a sigh. "This project isn't really working, so I'll return to Riften at the end of the week. I hope I'll be able to keep the horse with me: he's a fine fellow and he's always served me well".

Adaeze said that she was sorry for Vipir.

"Brynjolf has finally realized that his network of fake carriage drivers is completely useless, hasn't he?", she asked.

Vipir shook his head.

"To say it all, Brynjolf looked very disappointed when he told me to return to Riften. He apparently doesn't agree with the decision of destroying our network of carriage drivers".

"So it was Frey who decided to do that".

"Frey?"

Agda's question was welcomed by a quick explanation on Adaeze's part.

"Mercer Frey is the actual master of the Thieves Guild in Skyrim. He's a Breton in his fifties and a true pain in the ass. Grumpy, arrogant, annoying, cranky… Name a flaw and he'll have it".

A loud laughter allowed Agda to understand that Vipir perfectly agreed with Adaeze.

"The cunning bastard sent me to Dawnstar after I was caught on a heist and forced to pay a very high bounty", he explained.

"And now he thinks that your punishment is over", Adaeze broke him off.

Vipir grimaced.

"Not exactly, Adaeze. Brynjolf has told me that Frey wanted me to freeze my ass in Dawnstar until the day I died – his lady, however, talked him into showing me some mercy".

Rather than appreciating the irony in the fact that a man called Mercer had shown Vipir some mercy, Adaeze was way more surprised by the unexpected mention of the mysterious partner of her former Guildmaster.

"Are you telling me that Mercer Frey – _that_ Mercer Frey – has a wife?"

Spurred by Adaeze's outraged tone, Vipir couldn't stifle a chuckle. The two thieves were completely ignoring Agda, who was desperately trying to understand what they were talking about.

"Not a wife, Addy. That woman is more of a lover to him – and a chief, if you ask me".

"I don't think I've ever met her. Is that right?"

Confronted with Adaeze's question, Vipir nodded.

"That woman is usually up and around running heists, that's why you never met her. In the last two months, however, she's been staying in Riften for longer than usual. Her sudden lack of work is a very bad sign, and so is the fact that she's taking decisions in stead of Mercer".

As Adaeze kept on asking Vipir questions about that mysterious woman, Agda started to ignore the conversation going on beside her. Lulled by the movements of the carriage, by Adaeze and Vipir's voices and by the warmth of her furs, the young mage slowly fell asleep.

* * *

Agda woke up right outside Whiterun. It was long past sunset and she was expecting to get a good dinner and a comfortable bath at the _Bannered Mare_ – although Agda'd never been there, she was well acquainted with the flawless reputation of that cozy inn. She was therefore very surprised when Adaeze and Vipir got off their carriage and immediately headed for Honningbrew Meadery.

"We have a friend there", Adaeze explained the young mage. "He'll keep all of us safe".

"I don't understand", Agda frowned. "If we go to the _Bannered_ Mare, the College will pay for our rooms and for our dinner. Why should we go to the Meadery? They don't even have beds for travelers!"

Vipir grinned in an unsettling way.

"You're right, little wizard. Malleus doesn't have beds for travelers – yet, he has very comfortable bedrolls for his fellow thieves".

Agda didn't feel comfortable about that arrangement - and she felt even less comfortable when she discovered that Malleus Maccius was the creepiest person she'd ever met. Nonetheless, the beds he prepared for her and Adaeze were soft and clean, whereas the food was warm and tasty.

"Sabjorn is in Riften, trading with a new investor", Malleus told Vipir and the two girls. "You can stay as long as you want".

The thieves thanked him, then they went to bed.

"Vipir has a high bounty in Whiterun, that's why we stopped outside the city gates", Adaeze finally explained Agda.

The young mage dramatically rolled her eyes.

"Is there a place where he doesn't have a bounty on his head?"

Adaeze laughed.

"I suppose not – he tends to run away rather than paying for his crimes, and that has allowed him to become one of the most wanted thieves of the whole Guild".

Agda frowned, but didn't ask any further question. The revelations about Adaeze's past made her feel uneasy, and so did the mentions of Vipir's bounty.

Given the time she'd spent asleep that afternoon, Agda had many troubles drifting into Vaermina's realm. As a consequence, she soon summoned a magic light and started reading a book about Conjuration. With some luck, her improvements in that field would allow her to survive the upcoming battles in Fellglow Keep.

When she finally fell asleep, Agda deeply wished she hadn't, as the usual nightmares immediately started haunting her mind.

* * *

Ever since Saarthal, Agda had been having dreams about her, Steinarius and a mysterious voice willing to enslave them - and that night was no exception.

At first Agda saw Steinarius alone in a dark corridor riddled with skeletons and charred corpses. The man was panting heavily and his grey eyes were filled with terror and rage and fear. The place strangely reminded Agda of Saarthal and had the horrifying smell of death and dust and decay.

The scenery suddenly changed, so that Steinarius was now making his way through an old building carved in marmor and bronze - a Dwemer ruin, Agda realized after a few seconds. The Imperial suddenly dived into the water filling the room where he was walking, then started fiddling with a few underwater levers. When a terrifying centurion attacked him, everything went blank. Realizing that Steinarius had been hurt, Agda wished she could wake up. Sadly enough, her dream still wasn't over.

The girl was now in a cozy bedroom in some weird inn. The furniture looked strange to her, but the objects scattered all across the place were very familiar; after a quick observation, Agda namely recognized Dragonbane, a boot coming from the armory of the Blades, a pile of dirty civilian clothes and the sword sheath she'd bought Steinarius on New Life Festival.

There was a sudden creaking sound and the Imperial walked inside the room and slumped down on the bed. When he shed his shirt and prepared for the night, Agda could see many red welts on his back, on his chest, on his arms. The girl tried to talk to him, but Steinarius seemed unable to acknowledge her presence.

Thinking he was alone, the Dragonborn retrieved a heavy black tome from his knapsack and started reading it. Everything immediately began to spin and Agda soon found herself in a new dimension, a dimension made of books and words and knowledge. The girl had never seen anything like that.

The young mage followed Steinarius through the many parts of the palace where they'd mysteriously ended up and watched in awe as the Dragonborn dispatched the creepy enemies they encountered. Eventually, the two of them were welcomed by the mysterious black-ink globe that marred all of Agda's nightmares. The girl was fascinated by the sight of its tentacles and by its sweet, soothing voice; Steinarius, on the other hand, greeted the creature with a frown and a wolfish snarl. When the globe said something Agda couldn't make out, the Imperial suddenly lost it: he attacked the black creature, but soon found himself trapped in its vicious grip.

As the powerful Dragonborn was disarmed and a tentacle was wrapped around his neck, Agda decided to intervene; yet, her spells only seemed to amuse the globe that was holding Steinarius captive. When the girl unsheathed her dagger and tried to sever the tentacles that were embracing the Imperial, the weird creature mocked her with a laughter and blocked her hands with its strong grip.

 _Soon, very soon_ , the black globe laughed at Agda and Steinarius' useless attempts to break free. _Very soon you will be my slaves._


	35. Pay in blood

**Author's note:**

 **This update follows the quest "Hitting the Books". I'm not very good at this kind of chapters, as they force me to follow the gameplay and describe fights; moreover, I had some difficulties in matching Agda's personality with the need to toughen her up for the upcoming adventures. As a consequence, any feedback / writing advice is particularly welcome.**

 **A huge _thank you_ goes to all my readers/followers/favoriters and reviewers. A special mention goes to Contrary to Popular Belief 3 and LadyBugLissa11 for their kind opinions on my story, to tyrannsaurustex for their lovely compliments, and to the faithful Elspeth for their support. I'm glad you're excited about the ties to the thieves guild and "Dragonborn"!**

 **This very long chapter has warnings for gore and language and torture and may contain some confusing parts that will be explained during the next instalment. Nonetheless, e** **njoy!**

* * *

 **30th of Last Seed, 4E 202**

Grimacing, Agda looked at the crumbling keep in front of her eyes. Not only was she sleepy because of her nightmares - she also felt on the brink of throwing up. At breakfast the young mage had been too hungry to resist Malleus Maccius' freshly baked sweetrolls, therefore she had eaten a lot of them. Sadly enough, she was already regretting that choice.

"We should go back", Agda whispered to Adaeze. "I feel sick".

The Redguard rolled her eyes.

"Agda of Anvil, if you want to throw up, do it here. I told you not to eat so many sweetrolls, yet you..."

"This is not about the sweetrolls - not only, at least. I also feel sleepy and tired, therefore I'm not in the mood to take on a fort full of enemies".

Adaeze rolled her eyes. It was the hundredth time Agda told her that she wasn't ready to venture in Fellglow Keep; as predictable, that whiney attitude was really irritating her.

"Make your choice, Agda of Anvil: if we go back to Whiterun, I'll leave for Winterhold immediately", the Redguard snapped. "Either that, or you'll put up with your stomachache and face those mages with me. Take your decision carefully and remember that you're the one who needs help, not me".

Sighing, Agda tried to tell herself that her stomachache was just a figment of her own imagination. Although that explanation didn't reassure her, the mage eventually decided to venture in Fellglow Keep together with Adaeze. The Redguard was very happy about that choice: unlike Agda, she was thrilled by the upcoming adventure.

Smiling as though she'd just received a wonderful present, Adaeze took an arrow from her quiver and readied her weapons. Agda looked at her in awe: with her tanned skin, her ebony bow and her black hair neatly braided in a plait, the Redguard reminded her of the legendary warriors of old.

When Adaeze was done preparing her bow, she snuck up to a huge rock not far from Fellglow Keep. After the death of her parents, the woman had been raised by a Bosmeri thief; as a consequence, when fighting she mainly relied on a combination of stealth, light armor and archery.

When Agda reached the place where Adaeze was hiding, the Redguard cast a careful glance towards Fellglow Keep. The fort looked empty except for a sentry on the highest tower.

"How many enemies are there in the courtyard?", Adaeze asked Agda.

The mage cast a spell to detect life, then raised her hand and showed Adaeze three fingers. The former thief nodded, then readied her bow.

"Shouldn't we try to get those books in a peaceful way?", Agda nervously whispered. "We could tell those people why we're here and ask Orthorn to return the things he stole from the College".

"Of course we could opt for the peaceful way", Adaeze huffed in exasperation. "Thanks to it, our friends inside the keep will find out what we want and will kill us on sight. Agda, in case you haven't realized it, we're in Skyrim - and in this damned land of yours everything is set on murdering us. Believe me: violence is the only way to get those books back. Apropos, you said that there were three enemies in the courtyard, right?"

Slightly irritated by the sarcasm in her friend's voice, Agda nodded. Grinning, Adaeze narrowed her eyes and took aim with her bow.

"Make that two", she said as she released an arrow. That lethal piece of steel flew right into the heart of the sentry, causing him to fall dead in less than a second.

Agda was shocked by Adaeze's aim, just like she was shocked by the coldness with which her friend had just murdered a man.

"This really makes me uncomfortable", she admitted before the Redguard could abandon their hiding and start walking towards the keep. "Our opponents are people, Adaeze - people with parents, lovers, wishes and..."

"Agda, right now those mages only have one wish - _kill us_ ", the Redguard replied. "Also, our enemies aren't common people - they're much more evil and way much dumber. If you don't believe me, just look at that".

In reply to Adaeze's invitation, Agda observed two very alarmed mages reach the sentry who laid dead in the middle of the courtyard. The wizards looked upset by their colleague's death, but after a quick confrontation they shrugged their shoulders and resumed their daily tasks. They had probably decided that their friend had been killed by a random arrow which had just fallen from the sky - and if their behavior meant anything, they were completely fine with that explanation.

"Are those guys crazy?", Agda asked in disbelief. "Their sentry has just been murdered, yet they didn't realize that they're in danger. How is that even possible?"

Adaeze chuckled.

"As I already told you, these guys are much dumber than common people. Luckily for us, that means that they're also easier to kill".

Noticing the outraged look on Agda's face, Adaeze poked her in the ribs.

"Come on, you skeleton slayer: let's have some fun".

And with those words, a very enthusiastic Adaeze made her way towards Fellglow Keep. Behind her, a very reluctant Agda could do nothing but pray for her adventure to be over before long.

* * *

While Adaeze was busy slaying the last two sentries of the keep, Agda simply watched her from afar. Only when the courtyard was clear did the young mage reach her friend and take a closer look at the fort.

As Agda walked towards the main door of the building, she came across the body of the dead sentry. The sight of his lifeless and glassy eyes almost made the young healer feel sicker than she actually was; at the same time, it made her question Adaeze's decision to fight their way through the keep rather than striking a deal with their opponents.

Unlike Agda, the former thief was perfectly fine with her blood-spilling strategy. Humming a playful tune, Adaeze soon started relieving the dead sentries from their gold and their jewels.

"When I was child, I was taught not to miss any opportunity to increase my wealth", she recalled while examining the precious emerald necklace sported by one of her victims.

When Agda didn't say anything, Adaeze realized that her friend was still looking at the corpse of the sentry. The mage was slightly greenish and seemed particularly shaken.

"I can't do this, Adaeze", Agda weakly murmured when the Redguard approached her and asked her what was wrong. "I'm fine with slaying draugrs, but killing people really makes me unease. I should have never accepted this job: I'm not ready to become a murderer and I'm feeling sicker and sicker by the minute. Can't we just go back to Whiterun and forget about those damned books?"

Those words caused Adaeze to run out of her already thin patience. Ever since Agda had got up that morning, she had never stopped complaining about her task, so that the Redguard was now fed up with her whining.

"Agda, I've had enough of your rants", Adaeze eventually burst out. "You were the one who accepted this job, therefore you're not going back until you find Orthorn and the books he stole from the College. Do I make myself clear?"

"Adaeze, I'm a healer, not a..."

"I don't care what you are!", the former thief snapped. "Just stop whining like a baby and start behaving like a proper Nord!"

Before Agda could reply, a loud roar suddenly filled the air. Adaeze immediately grabbed her friend by the elbow, then hastily led her to a shadowy corner of the courtyard. Before Agda could voice her surprise at that rough treatment, a huge dragon started flying in circles over the keep. At that point, Adaeze couldn't stifle a grin: with that beast roaming the sky, it was impossible for Agda to go back to Whiterun and avoid her task. Deprived of her planned escape route, the healer could do nothing but sigh in defeat.

"Looks like the Divines don't want me to survive this day", she murmured with a very depressed tone. "Fine. Let's get inside the damned keep. Don't expect me to murder someone, though".

Adaeze's grin got even wider. She'd finally got Agda to renounce her escape plan - and she was sure that, soon enough, she would also get that whiney healer to kill one of their enemies.

* * *

The inner rooms of Fellglow Keep were much cozier than the messy courtyard, Agda immediately noticed. Also, they provided shelter from the dragon that was still flying over the fort. The healer could hear its angry roars, a fact that deeply unnerved her. Unlike Agda, the inhabitants of the keep didn't show any sign of worry - given their proximity to Shearpoint, they were used to the frequent visits from their winged and scaly neighbour.

As soon as Agda set foot in the first room of the fort, she immediately forgot about the dragon; she and Adaeze were namely attacked by four astonished mages who immediately began casting spells towards them.

Despite the unexpected appearance of those enemies, Adaeze was quick to unsheath her ebony daggers and slay the first man who had attacked her. Agda, on the other hand, defended herself by summoning a magical ward. The healer was planning to mantain that barrier until her friend dispatched all their enemies: despite that dangerous situation, she wasn't going to kill anyone.

It didn't take long before Adaeze noticed that Agda' strategy was mainly based on self-defense. After killing her second opponent, the Redguard eventually understood that her friend was trying to avoid hurting her two attackers. That realization caused her to mutter a long string of insults towards the healer: with her pacifist ways, Agda was about to get herself killed.

Also the last two-standing enemies noticed that the young Nord wasn't going to attack them. After exchanging a glance, one of them attacked Adaeze with an impressive amount of spells, whereas the other used his dagger to cut his way through Agda's ward. When the man slightly scratched the cheek of her friend, Adaeze lost it: she killed her opponent by dual-wielding her daggers, then she defended Agda with a mixture of strength and grace and speed. When the last enemy fell dead to the floor, the Redguard grabbed her friend by the collar and angrily pinned her to the wall. Although she'd never admit it, she had been scared to death by Agda' suicidal strategy.

"Do you have a death wish or what, Agda of Anvil?", the Redguard hissed in a mixture of panick and anger and disbelief. "Those men wanted to kill you, not invite you to drink a cup of hot cocoa! Hadn't I been here, they would have murdered you without thinking twice! You need to defend yourself, for Talos' sake!"

Agda simply lowered her gaze. The cut on her cheek was slightly bleeding, whereas her complexion was as pale as a ghost's.

"I'm not feeling fine".

"I don't give a fuck if you're not feeling fine!", Adaeze yelled. "Even if you want to become a healer, you need to toughen up and...".

When Agda escaped her grip, Adaeze thought she was about to run back to Whiterun on her own; much to her surprise, the mage hastily reached the corner of the room, grabbed an empty barrel and threw up in it. As her friend started coughing, the Redguard cringed: Agda wasn't making up excuses - she was actually sick because of the sweetrolls she'd eaten.

Shocked by that realization, a part of Adaeze felt the urge to hug the Nord and apologize for her reproach; nonetheless, another part of her wanted to give the girl another rant and finally shake her out of her whiney attitude. Since she was at it, the latter part of Adaeze's mind also wanted to remind Agda that her passion for sweets was rather unhealthy.

Luckily enough, a quick look at the mage set everything into the right perspective: when Adaeze realized that Agda was shivering and that her eyes were full of tears, she namely couldn't help but walk towards her and hug her. The Redguard now felt sorry for her behavior and sincerely apologized to Agda.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you", she admitted without breaking that hug. "I thought you were just making up excuses".

"I often throw up when I'm nervous", Agda murmured. "Can we go back to Whiterun now?"

Confronted with the girl's puppy eyes, Adaeze sighed.

"I'm afraid that we can't, Agda. Right now there's an angry dragon flying over the keep, therefore it is unsafe to leave the building".

Moved by the healer's depressed expression, Adaeze laid a hand on her shoulder. Agda was pale and looked about to throw up again.

"Since we can't leave, we'll follow a special strategy", the Redguard announced. The uneasiness in Agda's eyes made her understand that nope, there was no way that young healer could get out of the keep on her own. "I'll do the hard work and dispatch all our enemies, whereas you'll follow me and relax until you feel better. Is that okay with you?"

When Agda nodded, Adaeze sighed in relief. Her friend was a sweet and wimpy girl who clearly didn't belong in that old keep; as a consequence, she felt bound to get her out of that place alive.

* * *

For the following hour everything perfectly followed Adaeze's plan. After drinking a couple of potions, Agda felt slightly better and aided her friend by casting life detecting spells and defending her with magical wards. The girl never got involved in any direct fight, a fact that reassured both her and Adaeze. The Redguard namely felt much better knowing that she didn't have to look out for Agda.

Things abruptly changed when the two girls reached a huge room in the middle of the keep. After dispatching the enemies who dwelled inside that chamber, Adaeze gestured for Agda to walk up to her. As she entered the room, the young Nord immediately noticed the scent of blood filing the air; a second later, she realized that the chamber hosted four prison cells. Each cell was inhabited by a very ragged and battered woman with a very grim appearance. When Agda readied a healing spell and approached the captives, she discovered that all the prisoners were vampires.

Agda had never liked vampires, and she liked them even less after one of them had almost caused her and Steinarius to die. As a consequence, when Adaeze asked her what to do, the Nord entertained the idea of having the prisoners killed. Before the young healer could yield to that temptation, however, a corpse hidden in one of the cells caused her to change her mind. It was a vampire's body, Agda understood when she noticed the sharp fangs of the dead woman. The healer knew that vampires usually crumbled into ash upon dying, but the mages dwelling in Fellglow Keep had probably fed their victim a potion that prevented the usual decomposition process from taking place. As a consequence, Agda could take a good look at the corpse and see the many horrors the poor woman had endured before finally meeting her end. Beside her, Adaeze noticed the same thing.

"If you're not going to free us, give us at least an honorable death".

Startled by that voice full of sorrow and pain and desperation, Agda turned to look at one of the vampires held captive inside the cells. She'd never had the chance to observe any of those creatures from up close, so she was taken aback when she understood that that small woman was not that different from her and Adaeze.

"After our den was attacked by necromancers, my friends and our mates were brought here", the vampire explained. "Ever since then, we've been used for experiments and training".

"What do you mean by _training_?", Adaeze asked.

The vampire simply gestured towards a young prisoner with a sea of freckles around her nose. Agda abruptly realized that the unlucky girl missed one eye and had vast burnings on her whole body. In that moment, she understood that Adaeze had been right: the mages dwelling in Fellglow Keep weren't only much dumber than common people - they were also much more evil.

* * *

To her own surprise, Agda agreed to release the vampires held captive inside the fort. Rather than looking for freedom, the four women immediately set out to seek revenge against their captors, leaving Adaeze and the young healer alone. Sadly enough, the prisoners' escape was very short: less than five minutes later, Agda and her friend namely came across their corpses. Frowning, the two girls couldn't help but curse the vampires' bad luck.

"I'm really sorry for them", Adaeze said. "I do like vampires".

Confronted with Agda's astonished look, the Redguard smiled.

"There is this tiny vampire from the Dark Brotherhood who has become a good friend of mine. And then, also the Hero of Kvatch was a vampire".

Before Agda could express her opinion on that unfounded rumour, Adaeze cast her a very serious glance.

"Do you know what I can't stand? _Werewolves_. I don't even know if they exist, but the legends about them scare the wits out of me".

Agda didn't comment - had Adaeze found out that Steinarius was a werewolf, she would have probably gone all the way to Solstheim in order to kill him with her own hands.

A few minutes later, when the young healer heard a wolf howl, she felt her heart sink low in her stomach. If the wizards from that fort tortured vampires, perhaps they were mistreating werewolves too - and Agda knew that most of the werewolves of Skyrim were Companions and, as such, former friends of Steinarius. That thought caused the girl to ready a powerful spell and stride confidently into the following room. She was doing much better and was ready to take revenge on those wrecthed wizards who entertained themselves by torturing other living beings.

Before the only mage inside the chamber could even turn to look at her, Agda had already killed him with a very nasty firebolt. As the man fell to the floor, the young healer didn't feel any hint of sympathy: she knew how it felt to be tortured and she was ready to avenge all the people who had been killed in that cursed fort.

* * *

Adaeze was suprised by the change in Agda's behavior: after freeing those unlucky vampires, her friend namely did her best to help her slay the enemies who dwelled in Fellglow Keep. Trapped between Adaeze's weapons and Agda' spells, most of their opponents didn't stand a chance.

After what felt like centuries, the two girls came across Orthorn, the man who'd caused all their troubles. Adaeze used some threats to have him reveal what he knew about the books he'd stolen from the College and was slightly upset when Agda decided to free him. When the Redguard confronted her about that choice, the healer surprisingly blushed.

"As you might have noticed, after being freed Orthorn has immediately taken the corridor leading to the courtyard - and as you might remember, right now the courtyard hosts a very angry dragon. The beast will rip him to shreds in a matter of seconds".

As though the dragon wanted to underline Agda's words, in that moment it let out a roar that caused the whole keep to shake.

When she noticed that her friend was embarassed by her own evil plan, Adaeze couldn't hold back a laughter: Agda was a sweet girl who lacked the raw strength of most Nords, but her smarts were equally deadly.

* * *

During their exploration of Fellglow Keep, Agda and Adaeze came across many samples of the foul activities that were carried out in that cursed place.

"As soon as I get out of here, I'll talk to Jarl Balgruuf", the Redguard snorted after ending up in another room full of corpses. "Those psychos need to be thrown in a prison cell and left there to rot".

Agda couldn't help but agree with her friend. Fellglow Keep luckily didn't host any werewolf, but it was full of many other horrors: there were young mages practising fire spells on agonizing vampires, dusty bones hidden in the most hidden corners of the rooms, corpses that had been disinterred so that aspiring necromancers could relive them as thralls. Agda felt as though she was visiting a museum of cruelty and evilness and perversity.

Despite their foul activities, most of the mages dwelling in the keep couldn't compete with Agda and Adaeze' skills; as a consequence, the two friends killed them almost effortlessly. The draugrs of Saarthal had proved to be much more resistant and dangerous, Agda realized at some point during her adventure.

By the time the two girls reached the last room of the fort, they were both tired and sweated and sore. Agda didn't feel sick anymore, but she knew her feet to be completely full of blisters. Moreover, she couldn't wait to reach the open, thus escaping the foul air of the keep. Beside her, Adaeze was equally exhausted.

Upon reaching the last chamber of the fort, Agda and her friend exchanged a meaningful glance and readied for the final battle. When they opened the door, they were greeted by an unsettling Altmer and her equally unsettling laughter. That unexpected display of amusement took the girls by surprise.

"Well, well, well", the Altmer chuckled. She was very tall and had a very wrinkled and evil face. "Here are the brave warriors who barged into my home and laid waste to my projects. Nice to meet you".

Agda frowned. That Altmer had lost all her helpers, yet she was happy to meet the people who had slain them. In the Nord's opinion, that didn't make any sense.

"We're here for the books Orthorn stole from the College of Winterhold", Adaeze said while taking a step towards the Altmer and steadying the grip on her bow. "Give them to us and we won't kill you".

Considering her tiredness, Agda didn't feel like wasting time for kindness and politeness. As a consequence, she deeply appreciated Adaeze's clear request.

"You really are a fighter, Redguard", the Altmer smiled. Although she was at the mercy of the women who'd killed everyone of her colleagues, she didn't seem worried in the slightest. "Yet, you should learn to keep your mouth in check"

Adaeze growled in rage.

"Give us the books, otherwise..."

"Wait", Agda suddenly said. "Perhaps we can strike a deal".

The mysterious Altmer smiled, whereas Adaeze deadpanned. A hidden gesture from Agda however suggested the Redguard kept her cool. The young healer didn't want to embark in a direct fight with that mysterious opponent - as a consequence, she had already come up with a plan.

"You really are a clever girl", the High Elf smiled as soon as Agda spoke. "May I have the pleasure to know your name?"

"I'm afraid that right now names do not matter".

The Altmer reacted to those words with an even broader smile.

"I see that we share the same opinion, Nord - after all, great minds think alike. By the way, you may refer to me as the Caller. Now, what deal would you like to strike?"

"Let us leave with the books and we won't send anyone else lurking here", Agda announced.

Those words caused Adaeze to pull an outraged face. Yet, her worries were calmed once again by a quick gesture on Agda's part.

Ignoring the healer's real intentions, the Caller pondered her offer for a few seconds. That pale Nord had made it to the last room of her keep, therefore she was probably much deadlier than she looked. By pretending to strike a deal with her, the Altmer hoped she could take the two girls by surprise and kill them once they lowered their guard.

"Take the books and be gone", the Caller said while seemingly accepting Agda's offer. "Never return here, or else you'll face my full wrath".

Agda nodded in consent, then motioned towards the Caller. When Adaeze made to follow her, the Altmer raised her hands. Of the two girls, the warrior was probably the most dangerous.

"I don't trust you, Redguard", the High Elf told her. "Let me deal with your friend, and with your friend alone".

Adaeze cursed: Agda had just got herself in a very sticky situation. The young healer seemed to get slightly paler at that unexpected request from the Caller, but nonetheless managed to keep calm. She cast Adaeze a long glance, then she walked up to the Altmer. At that point the Caller handed her a potion.

"It will drain your magicka", she explained Agda. "I don't want you to change your mind on our deal and kill me when I don't expect it".

Although that end of the agreement didn't make her comfortable, Agda grabbed the potion and analyzed its content. At that very same moment, the Caller cast a paralyzing spell on Adaeze, who immediately fell to the floor. The Redguard cursed her friend once again: after all their efforts, Agda was getting them killed because of her love for peaceful deals. The usually smart healer had probably been affected by the stupidity of the local mages.

Hiding her distress at the way Adaeze had just been ruled out from a possible fight, Agda kept on studying the potion the Caller had given her. Deeming it harmless, the young healer eventually took a sip of it, then handed it back to the Altmer.

"You should drink it too", she said when the Caller made to put the potion back in one of her pockets. "I don't want you to change your mind on our deal and kill me when I don't expect it".

Confronted with those words, the Caller burst into laughter.

"That was a very good stunt, my girl", she praised Agda. "Sadly enough, I am not going to drink that potion. My keep, my terms".

Ignoring Adaeze's angry growl and the way her plan had seemingly failed, Agda took another couple of steps and stretched a hand out to the Caller.

"To seal our deal we could use a handshake", she said while trying to look as harmless as possible.

When Adaeze saw the evil smirk on the Caller's face, she cursed Agda once again. How could her friend be so stupid to get that close to that Altmer, and all while her magicka was drained?

Just like Adaeze had feared, the Caller took advantage of Agda's proximity to try and attack her. Yet, before the High Elf could cast one of her powerful spells, the room was submerged by a green ray of light. A moment later the Caller fell to the floor, whereas Adaeze was freed from her spell.

"Adaeze, quickly! Help me tie her down!", Agda screamed.

Obliging, the Redguard ran up to the Caller and helped Agda tie her down to a pillar in the middle of the chamber. When the Nord forced her to gulp her own magicka-draining potion, the Altmer could do nothing but drink it.

"How could you paralyze her if she'd just drained your magicka?", Adaeze asked in astonishment. Her worry for Agda had temporarily been replaced by a mixture of surprise and shock and relief.

"Serpent Stone", the Nord said while avoiding her gaze. "I'll explain you more of that later".

As she spoke, Agda grabbed the tomes Orthorn had stolen from the College, then drank a couple of magicka potions and made to leave the chamber. In her eyes there was a light Adaeze had never seen before.

"Keep watch on our friend", the healer said as she walked out of the room. "I'll be back immediately".

Adaeze welcomed that order with a confused look. In her opinion, Agda's behavior was slightly unsettling.

The former thief waited for what felt like a lifetime. Her daggers were pointed at the Caller's throat and were ready to sever her ugly head from the rest of her body. To say it all, Adaeze couldn't figure out why Agda hadn't suggested she used her blades to put an end to the life of that wretched creature. When the doors to the room burst open, however, the Redguard immediately realized her friend's plan.

A very grim-looking Agda was using a telekinesis spell to transport the corpses of the vampires she'd previously freed. As soon as Adaeze realized what her friend had in store for the Caller, she couldn't help but shiver.

Sensing what was about to happen, the Altmer pulled a terrified expression. She tried to break free from her bindings, but the lack of magicka caused by her own potion prevented her from escaping that situation.

Agda ignored the Caller's attempts to break free. Without even looking at her, the healer cast a spell that relived the vampires as thralls. The four women immediately circled the bound Altmer.

"I guess it's time we left our friend alone with her victims", Agda muttered after reaching Adaeze' side. "I don't want to be here when the thralls attack".

Slightly upset by Agda's evil plan, the Redguard nodded and prepared to leave the room. Before the girlsgot out of the chamber, however, they were reached by a shrill scream on the Caller's part.

"Wait!", the Altmer said in a desperate attempt to save her life. "If you free me, I'll do whatever you want. I can grant you power, fame, money..."

"You don't have to beg us for mercy", Agda coldly replied. "You should beg _them_ ", she added while pointing at the thralls she'd just relived.

The four vampires were waiting for her signal to launch their attack.

"You know, I like you", the Caller said while trying to get some mercy from the girl who had turned tables on her. "Your Redguard friend is just a common warrior, but you really are a special girl, Nord. Not only are you as bloodthirsty as a wolf - you are also as cunning as a Dwemer. We could make great things together".

Agda welcomed those words with a shrug.

"You know, I wouldn't say that I'm bloodthirsty", she replied. "I'd rather say that I'm a sucker for justice".

And with those words, Agda cast one last spell and left her enemy at the mercy of her own victims.

She perfectly knew how it felt to be tortured and had no mercy for those who indulged in such hateful activies.


	36. Chance encounters

**Author's note:**

 **If the previous instalment left you with some unanswered questions, worry not: this update will give us a deeper explanation of the events from Fellglow Keep, including the weird relationship between Agda and the Serpentstone - as Contrary to Popular Belief 3 suspected, said relationship namely has nothing to do with the Stormcloaks.**

 **As usual, I thank all my readers/followers/favoriters for their support. A special mention goes to the aforementioned** **Contrary to Popular Belief 3 for their kind words and to Valtieri for their interesting remarks. I actually hadn't noticed the similarities between the DB in Oblivion and Skyrim and I had to admit that your description of Sithis' family had me laugh out loud at least twice (I lost it at the "slightly unhinged member" bit). As for the Hero of Kvatch, in my head-canon they were turned into a vampire during one of their adventures.** **I'll probably add more to that later in the story, as it may come in handy if I ever choose to write something centered around the events of the Elder Scrolls IV. Oh, and don't worry for misspelling Shearpoint - it happens to the best of us. Also, that quote from Jon Battle-Born perfectly fitted the atmosphere of the previous chapter.**

 **This instalment creates a connection between Fellglow Keep and Agda's future adventures. Also, it includes a cameo from two certain twins and a random encounter with a very mysterious person.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The sky above Whiterun was full of stars. Nothing hinted at the horrors Adaeze and Agda had seen in Fellglow Keep, just like nothing hinted at the way the Nord had organized for the Caller to be killed by her own victims. On the contrary, that cool summer night seemed to invite every creature of Nirn to relax and forget the evils of the world. Yet, despite the calmness surrounding them, Agda and Adaeze were still thinking about what they'd discovered during their adventure.

"The dragon has luckily left", the Redguard said after reaching the courtyard of Fellglow Keep. "Let's go to the Meadery and get us some peace. But first, let's clean ourselves from the blood".

Agda accepted that suggestion with a quick nod. The young healer looked bothered by her own actions, but Adaeze didn't feel like asking her too many questions.

The two girls walked in silence until they reached the banks of the White River. At that point Adaeze shed her armor and took a quick bath, whereas Agda cast a spell to clean the blood from her body and from her robes.

"You still haven't explained me how you managed to paralyze the Caller without using magic", Adaeze said at a certain point.

The Redguard was floating on her back in the weak currents of the White River. Unlike Agda, who had kept her clothes on, she was completely naked and was enjoying the soothing touch of the water on her tired body.

After sitting on the grass, Agda shed her boots and placed her tired feet in the water. Shivering at the cold, the Nord sighed.

"Drevis, the Illusion teacher of the College, has recently started studying the Doomstones of Skyrim", she said in reply to Adaeze's question. "Shortly before I left for Fellglow Keep, he brought me and the other apprentices to a place called Serpentstone Island".

Adaeze's eyes widened in shock.

"You managed to set foot on Serpentstone Island?!"

"Adaeze, Drevis is one of the best wizards of Skyrim", Agda said in an attempt to soothe her friend's wounded pride. When the Redguard had tried to reach the island in an attempt to join the Stormcloaks, she had namely failed in a very miserable way. "He taught me a spell that allowed me to walk on the surface of the sea, that's why I didn't freeze to death while reaching our destination. Also, his presence prevented me from being killed by sabre cats or ice wraiths".

"Ulfric won't be happy to know that the College is lurking around Serpentstone Island", Adaeze pointed out.

"Drevis forced Onmund to dress as a Stormcloak and tell the aspiring soldiers that the island was temporarily closed for lack of ice wraiths", Agda shrugged. "As a consequence, Ulfric will never find out about our activities there".

Amused by Drevis' trick, Adaeze chuckled.

"But tell me, why is this Serpent Stone so important?"

"That stone is believed to grant the ability to use a paralyzing poison on nearby enemies", Agda explained. "As we saw during our meeting with the Caller, those rumours are entirely true".

"Yet you didn't know whether your trick was going to work", Adaeze frowned. "You just bluffed".

Agda nodded.

"The Caller was a much stronger mage than me - and she was much stronger than you too, Addy", the Nord explained before Adaeze could say anything. "I understood that from her attitude: she seemed definitely too confindent for a person who was about to be attacked by two warriors at once. That's why I avoided a direct fight and that's why I tried to get close to her with the excuse of a handshake. Luckily enough, my plan paid off and I could use the power of the Serpent Stone to paralyze her and have her killed".

"You sly bastard", Adaeze smirked. "The next time you say you're an innocent healer, I'll skin you with my bare hands. You are a fighter, Agda of Anvil, just like me and everyone else from your land. I'm so proud of you!"

Agda didn't say anything in reply to Adaeze's compliment: she simply hugged her knees and carefully studied the nail she'd broken in Saarthal. Noticing her distress, the Redguard approached her and started dressing.

"Is everything alright?"

"Tonight the sky is ruled by the Serpent", Agda distractedly said.

" _Those born under that sign are the most blessed and the most cursed_ ", Adaeze quoted as she put on her shirt and cast a quick look at the starry sky. "Yet, that doesn't apply to us. Me, I'm a Warrior at heart".

"Steinarius was born under the Serpent", Agda slowly murmured.

Those words caused Adaeze to roll her eyes. She was deeply irritated by the way her friend managed to mention Steinarius every time they spoke and sincerely wished that Agda could move on with her love life.

"Agda of Anvil, I'm tired of hearing that man's name on your lips", the Redguard snapped. "Forget about him, otherwise I'll find a way to relive the Caller and let her fight against you!"

"Adaeze, I can't just forget about Steinarius", Agda sighed. "I keep dreaming of him and I'm afraid something bad will soon happen to both of us. Actually, I'm afraid that bad things have already started happening".

Adaeze furrowed her brow in confusion.

"What are you rambling about?"

"You heard what the Caller said: I went from being this wimpy sweet healer to murdering people in cold-blood and leaving a person alone with four angry vampires I had resurrected myself. Perhaps I am really as bloodthirsty as a wolf".

Adaeze was silent for a second, then unexpectedly burst into laughter.

"For Talos' sake, you took that psycho seriously!", she chuckled when she noticed Agda's outraged look. "Agda, that woman was playing tricks on your mind. Also, she and her friends had what was coming to them: had we not killed them, they would have continued murdering and torturing people. We did the right thing, Agda of Anvil".

When the mage sighed, Adaeze understood that she didn't believe her. To tell the truth, the Redguard had been surprised by Agda's vengeful behavior; nonetheless, she was extremely proud of the way her friend had dispatched the Caller.

Later that night, as they finally reached Honningbrew Meadery, the two girls immediately slumped down on their beds. Adaeze soon drifted in Vaermina's realm, whereas Agda lingered awake for what felt like a lifetime. The girl thought of the Caller's words, of the people she'd killed, of the vampires who had died in Fellglow Keep. Eventually, the Nord looked at her hands and sighed. The Thalmor had broken all the five fingers of her right hand less than one year earlier, after torturing her at length in order to find out more about Steinarius and Delphine's whereabouts. Frowning, Agda realized that her behavior inside Fellglow Keep had probably been influenced by the memory of that episode. Slightly reassured by that fact, she finally fell asleep.

* * *

The journey back to Winterhold was longer than predicted. Agda was silent for most of the way, whereas Adaeze spent a lot of time boasting about how she and her friend had cleared a fort full of evil mages.

Since Vipir had already returned to Riften, the girls had to rely on a carriage driver who took them to Dawnstar. Once there, the two friends spent the night at the local inn. Thanks to Adaeze's adventurous tales, over supper she and Agda got acquainted with some miners. Later in the night the girls also had the chance to talk to a few revered members of the Companions.

Agda was taken aback by the sudden appearance of those imposing warriors. If their resemblance meant anything, two of them were probably twins; the others, a man and a woman, wore a lot of war paint and vaguely reminded deadly wolves. It didn't take Agda long to recognize the four fighters as members of the Circle and, as such, as former friends of Steinarius.

When one of the handsome twins looked towards her and smiled, Agda blushed. When Adaeze replied to that smile by asking the brothers to join them at their table, however, the young healer suddenly felt nervous - and she felt even more nervous when she realized that one of those men, Vilkas, was the very same person Steinarius had punched in the face after Eidan's death.

Despite Agda's nervousness the evening went by smoothly, as no one ever mentioned the Dragonborn and his time in Jorrvaskr. Adaeze entertained the twins with her bubbly personality, whereas the two brothers recalled some of their best adventures. Farkas, the taller of them, had a very sweet and soothing smile that managed to make Agda blush as red as a tomato every time he looked at her; Vilkas, on the other hand, had a broody and melanchonic attitude that intrigued her to no end. Thanks to the twins, the young healer finally understood why many women of Skyrim dreamed of marrying a Companion.

As the night wore on, Agda could fully appreciate the differences between the brothers. Farkas was sweet and friendly, whereas Vilkas had those piercing silver eyes that seemed to bore into the very depths of her soul. The girl wondered whether that was their original colour, or whether the man's irises had changed after he'd joined the Circle and taken the blood.

When the last customer left, Adaeze invited Farkas and Vilkas to her room. The taller of the twins eagerly accepted the offer, whereas the other one chose to remain in the main hall of the inn. Knowing what was about to happen between Adaeze and Farkas, Agda decided to keep Vilkas company.

The conversation between her and the Companion was calm and smooth: Agda asked Vilkas about his favourite hero from the Nordic legends, whereas the man seemed very interested in her love for alchemy. The mage soon realized that Vilkas was probably one of the most cultured people she'd ever met.

Despite the man's wonderful eyes and perfect features, Agda was slightly relieved when he announced that he was about to retire for the night. As Vilkas bid her goodbye, the mage namely realized that she still wasn't ready to move on with her love life: try as she might, she couldn't help comparing the men she met to Steinarius - and when compared with the Imperial's crooked smile and with his singsong accent and with his endearing clumsiness, even the hottest warrior of Tamriel looked less intriguing than a mudcrab.

Finally alone, Agda reflected once again upon the events that had occurred in Fellglow Keep. As the hours went by, her feelings of guilt grew stronger and stronger, forcing her to question her actions from the previous day. What if among her victims there were also young mages who'd got involved in something bigger than them? What if the vampires in the fort had been taken captive because they'd killed innocent people? And most of all, what if she was actually as cruel as the wizards she'd dispatched without showing any mercy?

When the last question eventually made her feel sick with herself, Agda realized that she needed to forget about Fellglow Keep; if she hadn't, she would have probably lost her mind. Trying to sway her attention from those horrible memories, the healer told herself that Adaeze was right: whoever tortured other human beings deserved to be killed without any mercy.

Relieved by that thought, Agda could finally drift in Vaermina's welcoming arms.

* * *

The following morning, a very happy Adaeze met a very grumpy Agda outside _Windpeak Inn_. Blowing Farkas one last kiss, the Redguard sighed and finally started her journey towards Winterhold.

"That man is a sweetheart", Adaeze said as she and her friend left Dawnstar. "He's as big as a bull and as sweet as a dove. By the way, I am disappointed with you, Agda of Anvil: Vilkas is absolutely stunning, yet you treated him as though he was some kind of ugly bumpkin. One of these days I'll teach you how to seduce a man. Also, I'll teach you how to tell a hot warrior who will make your head spin from a whiney Imperial who will only cause you troubles".

Ignoring that not-so-subtle reference to Steinarius, Agda frowned. Because of Adaeze's adventure with Farkas, the mage had been forced to spend the whole night in the main hall of the Dawnstar inn, a fact that made her feel particularly mean towards her friend. It didn't help that Agda's few hours of sleep had been marred by the usual dreams involving Steinarius, tentacles and a black globe willing to enslave them.

"I thought you were in love with Hadvar", Agda harshly pointed out. "I didn't know that your feelings for him allowed you to sleep with every other warrior that came your way".

"I do have a thing for Hadvar, but I do have some physical needs too", Adaeze shrugged. "And then, it's not my fault if half of the population of Skyrim fits into the _hot warrior_ category ".

Smiling at the memory, Adaeze proceeded to describe every single activity she and Farkas had entertained over the previous hours. After a way too detailed description of the man's perfect body, the Redguard started singing a Bosmeri song; a second later, she took Agda by the hands and started waltzing with her in the middle of the snowy landscape of the North.

Unlike the young healer, Adaeze deemed her adventure in Fellglow Keep just a simple routine task that wasn't going to have any effect on her future, nor play any imporant role her life. Luckily enough, the guard's careless atttitude soon influenced Agda, thus helping her to forget the horrors she'd witnessed during that terrible adventure.

* * *

It was well past sunset when the two girls finally reached Winterhold. Adaeze would have liked Agda to have a drink at the tavern, but the girl turned down her offer: she was exhausted and wanted to slump down on her bed as quickly as possible.

As Agda reached the College, a heavy snowstorm had just started; as a consequence, even Faralda had already retired inside her room.

Sighing, the young Nord tiredly made her way through the courtyard of the building. She was tired and cold, therefore she couldn't wait to put on warm clothes and have a nice bubbly bath. Before Agda could reach Urag and hand him the retrieved books, however, she caught a glimpse of movement between the tall trees of the courtyard. Frowning, the young mage cast a life-detecting spell. Much to her surprise, that fact allowed her to discover that someone was hiding in the shadows of the College. Agda was taken aback by the way that mysterious person was flawlessly escaping her sight; willing to find out more about them, she readied a spell and made to approach the trees of the courtyard. Even when she was just a few feet away from her intended goal, Agda couldn't see anyone or anything. That fact sent a tingle of worry down her spine; of all the people of Skyrim, the best ones at sneaking and hiding were those who worked for the Thieves Guild or the Dark Brotherhood. As a consequence, Agda feared that she was dealing with a thief or, worse, with an assassin. Distressed by that realization, the young healer entertained the idea of alarming the other mages of the College by screaming on the top o her lungs. Nonetheless, she knew that that tactic would have probably caused the stranger to attack her - and in that moment, Agda was too tired to stand her ground in a fight.

While the girl was looking for a way out of that situation, whoever was hiding in the courtyard made their move. That person was so fast that, before she could even realize what had hit her, Agda found herself pinned to the snowy ground of the College. Her attacker was using their weight to hold her still and immediately blocked her mouth with a piece of cloth, thus preventing the girl from screaming for help. When the young healer eventually managed to focus on her opponent, she realized that they were clad in a black uniform and wore a face mask that revealed only their eyes. In the hands of the mysterious figure was a lethally sharp dagger, whereas strapped to their belt was a beautiful dwarven sword.

When the blade of her rival pointed towards her throat, Agda began trashing under their weight. At the same time, she felt the irrational urge to laugh: she'd come all the way from Fellglow Keep just to be killed a few meters away from her destination. She hoped that her attacker would at least leave the books she'd retrieved in the courtyard of the College.

Ignoring the way Agda had started squirming and whimpering behind her improvised gag, the mysterious figure used the tip of their dagger to trace a tiny cut on the soft skin of her neck. Yet, right when the girl thought that her opponent was about to kill her, the weight pinning her to the ground surprisingly disappeared.

"One wrong move and you die", a female voice with a thick Nordic accent said while stretching a hand out to Agda.

Slightly confused by the way the mysterious woman had just helped her to her feet, the young healer frowned. She felt tired and dizzy and weak and had to stifle the urge to lay down on the ground and let sleepiness overtake her. Despite that sudden exhaustion, Agda immediately tried to run away and call for help. It wasn't a smart move: the girl's legs immediately gave way under her weight, whereas her voice produced only a few croaked sounds. When Agda fell to the ground, the woman helped her to her feet once again. The mage was shocked by that kind behavior.

"Easy, little one", the stranger chuckled when confronted with Agda's clueless expression. "You don't want to hurt yourself by falling too hard on your knees. Unfortunately for you, my dagger sported a special poison that will drain your magicka and slow down your reflexes; also, it will prevent you from screaming for the next five minutes. It's nothing permanent, though, so you needn't worry about it".

Freeing her elbow from the woman's grip, Agda frowned. To create a poison like that, her opponent had to be a very skilled alchemist. The girl had to admit that there was a certain irony to being killed by someone who could compete with her innate talent for potions and poisons.

"Why would a murderer from the Dark Brotherhood simply slow down my reflexes and prevent me from screaming?", she asked while carefully eying her attacker. "Killing me when I was pinned to the ground would have been much easier".

The mysterious woman surprisingly burst into laughter. Although it was muffled by her face mask, that sound was surprisingly pleasing.

"Even if I do have the looks, I'm not an assassin", the stranger said with what felt like a smile. "To say it all, I'm a simple customer of the College".

Agda furrowed her brow.

"The College is closed to customers during the evening", she pointed out. "Also, if you're a simple client, there was no need for you to hide from me".

The mysterious stranger wasn't bothered by Agda's objections.

"My reputation here in Winterhold isn't exactly flawless, that's why I didn't want you to see me. Secent mages usually don't mix well with people like me - and the same goes for the fellows at the local inn and in the barracks of the guards".

Before Agda could ask her what she meant, the woman handed her a very heavy package.

"Be a sweetheart, girl: I came here to give Enthir a task, but the damned Bosmer seems unwilling to leave the _Frozen Hearth_ and go back to his room. Since I can't wait up for him all night, I'd be very happy if you could take this sword to Sergius Terranius and ask him to create a similar one. I usually ask Enthir to act as a courier on my behalf, but I don't want to freeze to death in this courtyard".

Agda would have liked to ask the woman the reason behind her weird orders, but forgot about them as soon as she got hold of the heavy sword the stranger was handing her. Although the weapon was neatly wrapped in a cloth, the young healer immediately felt a wave of magic radiating from it.

"Frost damage and paralysis", Agda said after quickly analyzing the energy coming from the sword. The girl was amazed by that unusual combination of powerful enchantments.

"I see that we have an expert in magical weapons", the mysterious woman commented, the tingle of a smile well evident in her thick voice. "As you might have noticed, Chillrend is a true masterpiece; as a consequence, tell Sergius that I'll pay him an amazing amount of money if he can create a similar blade".

Those words reminded Agda of the weird favor the stranger had previously asked her.

"You can come back tomorrow and tell him that yourself", she pointed out. "Sergius is grumpy, but he always shows a lot of respect for his customers".

"I'm a busy woman, Agda of Anvil", the woman replied. "That's why I can't wait until tomorrow. Also, tell Sergius that he can give the weapon to Enthir - I'll get it from him one of those days. One last thing: if Turrianus asks for the identity of his customer, tell him that it's not his business. The Imperial is used to my ways and won't pose any further question. Oh, and don't look for my name in the list of criminals wanted by the local Jarl: you won't find anything".

Agda was surprised by the woman's indications - and she was even more surprised by the fact that the stranger already knew her name.

"How do you..."

"I have no time to explain, Agda", the mysterious stranger broke her off. "Just know that I've been keeping a close eye on you and that I'm happy you returned to Skyrim. Hopefully we'll never meet again; otherwise, to our next meeting".

Before Agda could get past the surprise caused by those words, the mysterious woman stepped towards the center of the courtyard, drank a potion and disappeared. The only things Agda noticed in that short amount of time were her perfect built, her dwarven weapons, the way her left leg was slightly limping. At last, Agda saw the flicker of a melancholic smile in two deep black eyes, which were as cold and mysterious as a starless winter night.

Whoever that woman was, she was the most enigmatic person Agda had met in her whole life.


	37. Homecoming

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I thank all those who are reading/favoriting/following this fic.** **A special _thank you_ goes to Valtieri (love your nickname), Elspeth, Contrary to Popular Belief 3, LadyBugLissa11 and KSausage (glad you're back) for their kind words and interesting remarks. This week the compliments in some of the reviews (LadyBugLissa11, I'm talking about you!) have definitely lifted my mood, a fact I'm particularly thankful for. **

**I'm glad that Mystery Woman raised a few interesting theories about her identity. For now, all I can say is that she's from the Thieves Guild, therefore you all guessed that right. Speaking of the Guild** **, I must admit that I was completely overjoyed when I found Chillrend in Oblivion (the first TES game I played was Skyrim). I adore that weapon!**

 **As for the wolf twins, I love the differences between their rooms (apropos, I have a good imagination, but I really can't figure Farkas playing the lute). And just like Contrary to Popular Belief, if I were to choose between them, I'd go for Vilkas.**

 **As far as lil' Agda is concerned, I'm glad you're enjoying her development as a character. Yet, if Steinarius were to meet her again, he would probably be blown away not only by her improvements with fighting, but also by a very mean and angry fireball cast directly at his head.**

 **Speaking of Steinarius: r** **ight when you thought that I'd completely forgotten about him and his adorable smug face, here's a chapter resuming his many adventures in Solstheim.**

 **A tiny warning before you continue reading: this update contains many spoilers from the Dragonborn DLC. Therefore, read at your own peril.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **30th of Last Seed**

Steinarius slowly pushed open the door to his house. Severin Manor was a nice building, probably the nicest the Imperial owned: it was much bigger than Breezehome and much cozier than Proudspire Manor. Sadly enough, it was high time Steinarius left that comfortable den to return to Skyrim.

Sighing, the Dragonborn walked down the stairs leading to the main floor of the house. It had taken him a while to get used to the underground buildings of Solstheim, but by now Steinarius felt perfectly at ease inside them. Moreover, during his adventures on the island he had come across much weirder things - an isolated mead hall overrun by rieklings, a village where people lived in huge mushrooms, an odd burial site with a very complicated exit. To be sincere, a part of the Imperial was actually happy to return to the traditional dangers of Skyrim.

Humming a Dunmeri song, Steinarius headed for the first room on his right and lowered the crate he was holding in his arms. When the local steward had told him that his new house hosted a forge, the Imperial had been overjoyed by the discovery. Unfortunately, his adventures hadn't left him a lot of chances to practise as a blacksmith: between killing Miraak and reopening the mines of Raven Rock and helping the Skaal with their problems, the Dragonborn had barely had the time to sleep, let alone create some new weapons.

As he distractedly prepared a crate full of stahlrim for his upcoming journey back to Skyrim, Steinarius thought about the reason why he'd ended up in Solstheim. He'd first heard about Miraak when a few weirdos had attacked him on the plains of Whiterun a few days after his argument with Agda. Upon discovering a creepy letter on one of them, Steinarius had stormed into the city to find that Breezehome had been raided by those so-called cultists, whereas poor Lydia had been tied up to a chair and abandoned in the basement of his house. Moved by rage, the Imperial had immediately embarked on a ship for Solstheim. During the previous three months he'd made his way through ungodly perils and amazing discoveries, then he'd finally managed to kill Miraak at the end of a heated fight.

As he thought about the battle against the First Dragonborn, Steinarius couldn't help but snort. He'd reached his opponent after a long series of adventures and after sacrificing a poor man to Hermaeus Mora's will. Yet, when the Lord of Knowledge had killed Miraak in order to replace him with Steinarius, the Imperial had felt sorry for his predecessor. Also, he'd desperately wished he could find a way out of that situation. Despite his close association with Hircine, the Dragonborn hated Daedras with a passion; as a consequence, during his time in Solstheim he'd always done his best to save the people Hermaeus Mora wanted to enslave. At the end, however, Steinarius had become one of those victims himself, as the Lord of Knowledge had chosen him to take Miraak's place and become his new champion.

Chuckling bitterly, the Imperial tried to imagine his afterlife: he could perfectly picture himself being killed by Alduin only to be welcomed by a bunch of bickering Daedras who wanted his soul for themselves. Steinarius was sure that Hircine would try to drag him to the Hunting Grounds because of his beast blood, whereas Hemaeus Mora would remind everyone that the Dragonborn was his own slave. With some luck, Sheogorath would take part in the fight too - and if he could choose, Steinarius would immediately follow the Madgod to the Shivering Isles. After all, Sheogorath had never done him any harm and looked like a very jolly fellow.

After selecting the metal ingots he wanted to bring to Skyrim, Steinarius headed for his bedroom. He hated packaging, but it was a necessary evil: since he'd finally defeated Miraak, he was leaving for Dawnstar on the following morning. With some luck, during the journey his sea sickness would go easier on him: after first reaching Raven Rock, Steinarius had namely coughed up his soul on the boots of a very angry Captain Veleth. Although the two of them were now on friendly terms, the Dunmer still hadn't forgotten that unpleasant episode.

On his way to the bedroom, Steinarius visited his alchemy lab and absent-mindedly placed some exotic ingredients in a satchel. As he realized what he was doing, he sighed: although he'd broken up with Agda, every time he came across an alchemy lab he couldn't help thinking of her. Steinarius was reflecting upon that fact when someone suddenly spoke.

"You should learn to lock the front door, Crepusculus. Times are hard and someone may get in and steal something".

"And you should learn to shed your helmet when you're in a house, Sero. Times are hard and someone may mistake you for a thief".

Teldryn Sero chuckled at Steinarius' reply, then gave him an unexpected hug. When the Imperial hissed, the sellsword freed him from that tight embrace.

"Sorry, I had forgotten about your broken ribs", the Dunmer chuckled.

"Yes, I suppose that's easy to forget", Steinarius mumbled while rubbing his chest through his light shirt. "It would be different if it was _your_ broken ribs".

Teldryn burst into laughter.

"Come on, Crepusculus, you know that chicks dig injured warriors! Apropos, that blackish welt on your face looks very promising", he added with a grin. "I bet it will leave an impressive scar".

Bringing a hand to his cheekbone, Steinarius snorted. The fight with Miraak had drained him of all energy, sure, but his worst injuries had been caused by the way he'd desperately tried to free Storn Crag-Strider from the deadly embrace of Hemaeus Mora's tentacles. The Daedra hadn't been pleased by that unexpected act of rebellion and had proceeded to leave a few broken ribs and a series of angry marks all over Steinarius' body. The Imperial was glad he could now walk around without whimpering at every step.

"You're really going back to Skyrim, aren't you?", Teldryn suddenly asked.

Though muffled by his helmet, the Dunmer's voice seemed full of sadness.

"They need me there", Steinarius admitted. "So yes, I'm leaving tomorrow at dawn".

"I suppose you don't need a sellsword to come with you".

Steinarius looked Teldryn in the eyes - or, at least, where he supposed his eyes were.

"Sero, Solstheim is full of dangers. You can aid people here rather than come to Skyrim and follow me around like a puppet".

"I wouldn't follow you like a puppet, Crepusculus. I'd follow you like a friend".

Although he tried to hide it, Steinarius was slightly moved by those words.

"I know, Sero - and I also know that you're one the best fighters I've ever met. Yet, I feel safer knowing that the people of Raven Rock can count on you".

There was a moment of silence, then Teldryn hugged Steinarius again. When the Dunmer let go of him and finally shed his helmet, the Imperial gave him a worried look.

"If you're thinking about kissing me..."

Teldryn raised his hands in defense.

"Don't worry, Crepusculus: I do love you, but not in that way".

Steinarius burst into laughter, just like he often did when he was with Teldryn or with most of the other people he'd met in Solstheim. Everything on that island seemed quiet and peaceful, at least as long as one didn't venture outside Raven Rock. Also, no one in Solstheim knew of the Dragonborn's past as a Legionnaire or as a Companion, a fact that deeply reassured him. Even his beast blood was a mystery to everyone but the werewolves of Frostmoon Crag, who were always happy to give him shelter in their campsite. Everything looked easy on that island, but Steinarius knew that he couldn't remain there forever.

"We've organized a little good-bye party for you, Crep", Teldryn said when the two of them were done laughing. "The people of Raven Rock owe you, so they wanted to thank you with a little feast".

"They owe you too, Teldryn", Steinarius pointed out. "You were the one to show me the dangers of Solstheim in the first place".

The Dunmer smiled, then jokingly poked Steinarius' forearm.

"Enough of these sentimental talks", he winked. "The party begins in two hours. Be sure to let the scars on your chest on display, Crepusculus - perhaps you'll find some hot lady for the night. See you later!"

As Teldryn Sero left his house, Steinarius sighed. He was going to miss that loyal Dunmer, just like he was going to miss the lovely atmosphere of Solstheim.

* * *

When he noticed the huge crowd that had gathered in the _Retching Netch_ just to bid him goodbye, Steinarius Crepusculus was left speechless for a few seconds. The Imperial quickly recognized the inhabitants of Raven Rock, the warriors from Thirsk Mead Hall, the crew of the _Northern Maiden_ ; even the Tel Mythrin mages had reached that tavern, a fact that deeply surprised the Dragonborn.

"Don't forget that quest I gave you", the head of those wizards, Neloth, reminded Steinariusas soon as they met. "After you kill a Briarheart, don't waste time: get on a ship and come back to me immediately. I don't care for your destiny as the Dragonborn or other Nordic nonsense: my research comes first".

Before Steinarius could reply, some more people entered the inn. When he recognized them, the Imperial couldn't believe his eyes.

"We have just been warned that you were leaving", Frea announced as she strode inside the tavern. Confronted with the solemn attitude of that young Skaal, everyone immediately went silent. "My people and I wanted to bid you goodbye, friend".

Steinarius was very surprised by what he saw in that moment. Frea wasn't alone - with her there were many other Skaal who had decided to travel to Raven Rock just to wish him a good journey. With their heavy furs and distrustful expressions, the inhabitants of the North offered a curious contrast to the light clothes and the tanned skins of the people from Raven Rock.

Before Steinarius could overcome his surprise and thank the Skaal for their presence, he found himself deep in conversation with other people. Over the course of the evening the Imperial discussed smithing with Glover Mallory, listened to Talvas' complaints about Neloth's despotic attitude, chuckled at Teldryn's jokes. Eventually, the Imperial took advantage of a rare moment of peace to approach Frea. Unlike everyone else, the Shaman of the Skaal was sitting by herself in a concealed corner of the inn. Not far from her Nikulas was deep in conversation with Hillung, a beautiful girl who lived in Thirsk Mead Hall.

"Looks like the younglings are enjoying themselves", Steinarius cautiously smiled as he took place beside the woman.

"So it does".

Frea smiled, but her pale blue eyes were stained by the usual, lingering sadness. Steinarius immediately understood what was wrong.

"You're still grieving for your father".

It wasn't a question, but Frea nonetheless nodded. Steinarius felt sorry for her: that loyal woman had aided him in the Temple of Miraak, had given him food and shelter despite the suspicious nature of her people, had fought with him on many occasions - and in return, he'd brought death upon her family.

"Frea, I am really sorry for your loss", Steinarius said. All of a sudden, the happiness he'd felt a few minutes earlier seemed to vanish into nothing "Had I known that Hermaeus Mora meant to kill your father..."

"You already apologized many times, friend", the young Skaal said with a reassuring smile. "Also, I don't blame you for Storn's death: there is nothing you could have done to change the fate the All-Maker chose for him. Moreover, you made sure that my father's passing was not in vain, and for that I deeply thank you".

"I just wish there had been another way", the Dragonborn sighed. In his worst nightmares, Steinarius could still see the way Hermaeus Mora's tentacles had killed Frea's father in front of his eyes.

The woman smiled at the regret in the Imperial's voice.

"You tried to prevent that creature from murdering my father and you also put your life at stake in order to protect us all", she told Steinarius. "By doing that, you saved this whole island from the end - and you paid a heavy price for that, my dear friend".

As she spoke, Frea gently brushed Steinarius' cheekbone. When Hermaeus Mora had attacked her father, the Imperial had tried to save Storn from the many tentacles of the Daedra. The consequences of that fight were still very visible, as the Dragonborn now had a deep gash that went from his right temple to the right corner of his mouth. The cut was accompanied by a nasty blackish bruise and by many little blisters that vaguely reminded the suckers on the tentacles of squids and other marine creatures. Similar injuries marred Steinarius' chest and a big portion of his back, where they were adorned by smaller red welts.

While trying to free Storn from Hermaeus Mora's deadly embrace, the Imperial had also earned himself a few broken ribs and a black eye. At first the pain and the burning caused by those wounds had been very strong; nonetheless, Steinarius' rage had been even stronger. Therefore, as soon as Storn had lied dead in the middle of his village, a very livid Dragonborn had entered Apocrypha and made his way towards Miraak. Him, Steinarius had killed; yet, he had had no chance to slay Hermaeus Mora himself.

"You were a fool to face Miraak less than a minute after receiving those wounds", Frea murmured. Her hand was still lingering on Steinarius' cheek, whereas her light blue eyes were full of reproach.

"Actually, I believe that the rage and the adrenaline played an important role in my battle against Miraak", the Imperial sheepishly admitted. "And then, I had plenty of time to recover after my adventure in Apocrypha. You and Teldryn kept me bedridden for almost a week!"

Frea smiled at the memory.

"Actually, you remained in my hut for less than two days", she recalled. "You were bloody and tired and battered, yet you couldn't stand lying in bed and doing nothing at all. You do have a fire in you, my friend".

"I am the Dragonborn, after all", Steinarius cuckled in reply.

With another one of her sad smiles, Frea laid a hand on the Imperial's chest, right where his heart was beating. At that sudden display of intimacy, Steinarius felt the urge to pull away. Frea was a wonderful warrior, a brave follower, a loyal friend and a loving shaman to her people; nonetheless, there was no way the Imperial could depict her as a possible partner - the young Skaal was too busy protecting her village, too bound to the memory of her father, too serious and stern to make a man like Steinarius happy.

Willing to make that clear, the Imperial entertained the thought of taking Frea's wrist and leading her hand away from his body. Yet, he was surprised when the young Skaal spoke, thus letting him realize that he'd misunderstood her intentions.

"Your loved one will be happy to see you", she tenderly smiled as she looked Steinarius in his grey eyes and gently rubbed his skin through the shirt he was wearing. "You kept on calling her name when you were asleep after defeating Miraak".

The words caused Steinarius to think of Agda. His face fell flat at the memory.

"I don't have a loved one, Frea. Not anymore, at least".

Confronted with that discovery, Frea frowned. For the first time since Steinarius had met her, she looked slightly embarrassed.

"I am sorry for assuming that. I shouldn't have brought it up".

There was a moment of silence, during which Frea looked at the way her fingers were still resting on Steinarius' chest. Eventually, the woman withdrew her hand and smiled. This time her eyes didn't convey any sadness.

"I'm sure that the All-Maker will grant you a long and happy life, Dragonborn - and I am also sure that it will give you love and peace. You fully deserve it, my friend".

With those words, Frea sighed and stood up from her bench.

"It is time for me to go back to my village", she announced. "I'm not at ease when I'm so far from my home. I'll leave Nikulaus and the others behind, though: it looks like they're enjoying themselves".

As he looked around him, Steinarius nodded: Nikulaus was tentatively courting Hillund, Deor was passionately discussing the perks of stahlrim weapons with Glover Mallory, Morwyn was talking to the owner of the _Northern Maiden_. Of all the Skaal, the only one willing to leave so soon was Frea.

Smiling, the Dragonborn bid that amazing warrior farewell. Frea gently squeezed his forearm in the traditional goodbye of her people, then made for the exit of the inn. Yet, before reaching the stairs of the tavern, she turned once again to look at Steinarius.

"There is one last thing you should know", she sternly told him. "As shaman of the Skaal, I am charged with the spiritual well-being of my people. You weren't born in my village, but you are my friend. Therefore, I give you this warning: Herma-Mora forced you to serve him in order to defeat Miraak. Do not let him lure you further down that path".

"I have no intention of doing that", Steinarius reassured her.

Frea smiled, then spoke again.

"There is something else I wanted to tell you, Steinarius. The All-Maker made you Dragonborn for a higher purpose. Don't you ever forget that".

Moved by that advice, Steinarius immediately thanked Frea for her wise words.

Later that night, as he made his way to Severin Manor and looked at the wonderful starry sky above him, the Imperial smiled.

For the first time in his life, he finally felt at ease with his fate as the Dragonborn.


	38. The cat and his prey

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I deeply thank all those who are reading this story. This week I've lost a few followers,** **therefore your support has been particularly welcomed.** **Apropos, I mainly blame my loss of followers** o **n the lack of romance in the last few instalments; however, if you have other theories/suggestions about it, I'd be very happy to hear them. Also, in the unlikely event that I'm right and that some of you are actually missing the romance, please hold on: things for Agda are about to undergo a drastic change - and that should manage to renew your interest for this story.**

 **This week a very special _thank you_ goes to valtieri, Elspeth, burk and Contrary To Popular Belief. Burk's lovely review managed to lift my spirits, whereas Contrary to Popular Belief and Elspeth showed me that some of you have actually missed poor Stein. I missed him too, therefore it was nice to take a short break from Winterhold and move to Solstheim for one night!**

 **As for Valtieri's always interesting remarks, I must say that I haven't played Dawnguard yet; nonetheless, I've recently started Dragonborn and, just like Elspeth, I'm absolutely loving it. As for Marcurio, a** **t first I quite liked him because of his sassy attitude. Sadly enough, while he and my character were fighting against a bear, a stray dog popped up out of nowhere - and before I could realize what was going on, Marcurio had already killed that poor animal. Therefore, in a matter of seconds Marcurio went from being one of my favorite followers to becoming the best candidate for the sacrifice to Boethiah.**

 **After my disadventure with Marcurio, my favorite follower has become Erik the Slayer (I love his backstory and I adore his chattiness). Sadly enough, walking to Rorikstead every time I need him is quite uncomfortable; therefore, I usually end up fighting side by side with Vilkas.**

 **As far as this update is concerned, it sets the premise for the aforementioned drastic change regarding Agda. The ending is a bit dark, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.**

* * *

 **2nd of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

The first thing Agda did after meeting the mysterious woman in black was talking to Enthir - or, at least, trying to talk to him. As the stranger had already mentioned, that night the Bosmer was namely having a good time at the _Frozen Hearth_ , the only inn of Winterhold. Agda waited for him for almost an hour, but the tiredness from the previous days eventually got the upper hand; as a consequence, the girl fell asleep on a chair in Enthir's room without even realizing it.

Since Agda's arrival in Winterhold had taken place well after midnight, no one in the College noticed her glorious return from Fellglow Keep until the following morning, when a very displeased Enthir violently shook her shoulder.

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't turn you into a slaughterfish for sleeping in my room?", the Bosmer scoffed as soon as Agda opened her eyes.

As she blinked in confusion, the girl remembered all the things she'd planned to do after returning to Winterhold - talking to Urag about the retrieved books, having a bath, resting for a whole night in her baggy and comfortable sleeping gown... Sadly enough, the meeting with the mysterious stranger had made Agda forget about all those projects. In order to find out more about that intriguing dark-eyed woman, the healer had namely forsaken her tasks in order to reach Enthir's room and wait for the Bosmer to return to the College. Unfortunately, Agda had immediately fallen asleep, whereas her target had just got home after a long night of fun _._

"Where were you for the whole time?"

Confronted with Agda's question, Enthir frowned. The girl was still sleepy and had clearly forgotten that she was talking to a superior.

"That is none of your business, bumpkin. Now stand up and leave, otherwise I may change my mind about not turning you into an ugly animal".

Agda made to obey, but immediately noticed that the sword the stranger had given her was nowhere to be seen. Considering that she'd fallen asleep with the weapon on her knees, the young healer was very confused.

"I had a sword with me", she told Enthir. "Have you..."

Before Agda could finish her sentence, Enthir had threateningly raised his hands and made to cast a spell. Even if the Bosmer was smaller than her, Agda couldn't help taking a few steps backwards until she found herself cornered between the man's cupboard and his bed.

"I don't know how you got hold of that sword, and I honestly do not care", Enthir hissed. It was shortly before dawn, therefore no one in the Hall of Attainment could witness that scene. "I'll tell you one thing, though: if you mention that weapon and its owner to any other living being, you are a dead student".

Agda was surprised by Enthir's threat and briefly wondered whether she should talk to the Archmage about it. When the Bosmer finally allowed her to leave his room, the young Nord made her way towards her own cubicle. In that moment Agda promised herself one thing: she wouldn't stop enquiring about Chillrend and its mysterious owner until she finally got an answer to all her questions.

* * *

After being rosen by Enthir, Agda had a difficult time falling asleep. As a consequence, she soon chose to ignore her drowsiness and head for the Arcanaeum.

Urag was a grumpy man, but upon seeing the tomes Agda had retrieved he smiled and gave the girl a huge amount of rare skill books. The healer had to admit that the Orc's threatening fangs formed a weird combination with his overjoyed expression.

Before Agda could thank Urag for his gifts and properly rejoice for receiving those interesting tomes, the librarian asked her whether she'd seen the new home of the mysterious object she'd found in Saarthal. Confronted with the girl's confused expression, the Orc sighed.

"I really can't understand how you younglings can be so absent-minded and make your way through life at the same time", he snorted. "In Orsinium, most of the apprentices from this College would end up dead in less than a week. Actually, now that I think of it, many apprentices do end up dead also here in Skyrim", he added as an afterthought.

When Agda gave him a confused look, Urag sighed again.

"Tolfdir and the weird globe of light you found in Saarthal are in the Hall of Elements", he told the young healer. "Can you get there on your own or do you need me to take your hand and show you the way?"

Shaking her head in embarrassement, Agda clutched her new books to her chest and rapidly made for the exit of the Arcanaeum. When she reached the lecture hall and saw the familiar floating orb she'd retrieved in Saarthal, she frowned. For some reason, Agda suddenly understood that bringing that weird globe of light to Winterhold had been a very bad idea.

* * *

Agda distractedly listened as Tolfdir described his undying love for the floating orb in front of them. _The Eye of Magnus_ , he called it, and Agda decided that from then on she would use that name to refer to the mysterious item she'd found in Saarthal - after all, _Eye of Magnus_ sounded much better than _weird floating thing casting a weird bluish light_.

As Agda was nodding to some of Tolfdir's remarks about the Eye, a very crossed Ancano made his way into the Hall of Elements. Over the previous days, Agda had completely forgotten about her job as a spy on the Blades' behalf; yet, as soon as she noticed the fuming Altmer who was striding towards her with a look of pure hatred in his eyes, she was forced to remember about it. Keeping watch on Ancano, retrieving stolen books, killing evil mages, bumping into mysterious women, finding a way to explain Tolfdir that the Eye of Magnus might actually be dangerous... As Agda reflected upon the many tasks that had been presented to her in the previous few hours, she felt a tingle of nostalgia for her quiet life back in Riverwood.

Luckily enough, the healer wasn't the only one to feel confused at Ancano's unexpected appearance. When the Thalmor said that he needed to talk to Agda, Tolfdir namely protested in a very vehement way.

"We are involved in serious research here!", he complained.

As Ancano uttered an insincere apology, his eyes never left Agda's face. At that moment the girl felt the crazy urge to let out a terrified scream and start running all the way from Winterhold to Wayrest - try all she might, she didn't feel ease near that unsettling Altmer.

Despite her fears, Agda eventually managed to calm down and follow Ancano out of the room. She was slightly relieved when the man headed for Savos Aren's quarters.

"What is going on?", the girl asked. "Does the Archmage wish to speak to me?"

As soon as those words left Agda's mouth, Ancano grabbed her by the arm and immediately tightened his grip on her limb.

"Don't play stupid with me, Nord", he hissed while ignoring the way Agda was grimacing because of the pressure on her elbow. "You perfectly know what's going on. Now, before I lead you all the way to Savos Aren's room, I'd like to know why there's someone from the Psijic Order here in the College - more importantly, I'd like to know why he's asking for you".

Agda's eyes widened in shock. She'd never thought much about the weird man who'd appeared to her while she was in Saarthal - actually, she'd even come to the conclusion that her encounter with that Psijic Monk had been a figment of her own imagination. When she heard Ancano's words, however, Agda realized she'd been deeply, horribly wrong.

"I have no idea what you're talking about", she said - and that was actually true.

Something in Agda's terrified voice probably made its way through Ancano's mind. Snarling, the Thalmor let go of the girl's arm and hastily led her to her destination.

Unlike Ancano, Savos Aren seemed really pleased by the visit of the Psijic Monk. The Archmage greeted Agda with an enthusiastic smile, then he introduced her to Quaranir, the man who wanted to talk to her.

The stranger was a tall Altmer with weird yellow eyes and an imposing figure that radiated power and respect. He wore the exotic robes Agda had already seen in Saarthal and exchanged with her a very meaningful glance.

"Now that our little Agda is here, you may want to eat something, my esteemed colleague", Savos Aren told Quaranir. The Archmage had his usual kind demeanour, but couldn't hide the curiosity in his voice. "You did face a long journey to talk to our girl".

Before Quaranir could reply, Ancano took a step in his direction and made to say something. In that moment, everything in the room abruptly swayed and Agda had the unpleasant feeling that time had slowed down. When Quaranir spoke, the girl realized that she was the only one in the room who could hear him.

"We must be quick because we don't have much time", the monk nervously told her. "I'm here to tell you about the item you discovered in Saarthal. As you may have learned, that object is immensely powerful. If it remains here, it will be misused - actually, many in my Order believe it already has".

Agda frowned.

"What are you talking about? And why are you telling me, of all people? You should speak to..."

"You were the one to unveil the Eye, so it's up to you to assure that its power is not misused", Quaranir hastily broke her off. Agda realized that the monk looked very worried. "Unfortunately, I can't help you: the Psijic monks usually don't intervene in this kind of events".

"I don't understand what you mean", Agda frowned. ""What disaster are you talking about? And how can I prevent it from happening? I'm just a simple student and..."

"You'll have to find a way, Agda of Anvil", the monk replied. "You were the one to discover the Eye, and you'll be the one to save Winterhold from disaster. Seek further advice in the Augur of Dunlain".

Before Agda could insult Quaranir for playing the secretive advicer at the wrong moment, the world around her swayed again. The young healer found herself blinking in confusion and immediately realized that Savos Aren and Ancano were doing the same.

Despite the end of their conversation, Quaranir's yellow eyes were still fixed on Agda. The girl didn't miss the slight nod the monk gave her; yet, before she could find a way to further communicate with him, a very angry Ancano looked at Quaranir and snarled.

 _"_ What is the meaning of this?", he asked in rage.

Agda feared that the Thalmor had discovered the trick used by Quaranir in order to talk to her. She was already preparing a long string of lies when the monk surprised her by pulling the most innocent face she'd seen in her life.

"I'm afraid I don't understand", he said, confusion well evident in his big eyes.

"Don't play coy", the Thalmor hissed in reply. "You asked to see a specific apprentice of the College. What do you want from her?"

Quaranir blinked in confusion.

"There's probably been a terrible misunderstanding", he muttered while pulling a very sheepish expression. "Actually, I think it's time I left you to your tasks. I'm incredibly sorry for disturbing you; also, I wish you a very good day".

And with those words, Quaranir exited the room in spite of Ancano's outraged screams. By doing so, the monk left behind a very baffled trio of mages - Savos Aren was worried he'd somehow managed to offend that mysterious guest, whereas Ancano was sure that Quaranir had played a trick on him. As for Agda, she was downright shocked: she'd just been asked to enquire about the Eye of Magnus, but had no idea where to start. Also, she was slightly irritated by Quaranir's behavior. How could she prevent that mysterious item from being misused when her only helper was talking to her in riddles?

As she left the Archmage's headquarters, Agda mentally replayed her brief conversation with Quaranir over and over again. Perhaps the monk was simply crazy, perhaps he was luring her into a trap; nonetheless, the girl felt bound to investigate further about his warning. She would start from finding out more about the Augur of Dunlain.

* * *

After taking her leave from a very confused Archmage and a very livid Ancano, Agda spent most of the day asking questions about the mysterious Augur Quaranir had mentioned during their meeting. Said questions were usually met with frowns or with exasperated sighs; luckily enough, right when Agda was about to give up hope, Faralda dropped a very interesting comment.

"Oh no, Tolfdir is telling stories again!", she huffed when confronted with Agda's questions. Thanks to that light complain, the girl immediately realized whom she needed to talk to.

Tolfdir was pleased to resume the conversation he and Agda were having before being interrupted by Ancano. The old teacher rambled on about the Eye of Magnus for most of the afternoon, then finally stopped talking. Only then did Agda ask him about the Augur of Dunlain. Just like the girl had predicted, Tolfdir explained her everything she needed to know about the poor student who'd turned into a mysterious oracle after a particular nasty experiment - he told her about the Augur's ability to read the future, about the alleged circumstances of his death, about his talent as an apprentice of the College. At last, the man gave her the information Agda longed to hear more than everything else - he namely revealed her the location of the Augur. The young healer was overjoyed by that success; willing to investigate further, she ventured into the Arcanaeum and asked Urag about the so-called Midden.

The Orc wasn't pleased by Agda's curiosity; on the contrary, he told her that some things needed to be forgotten and that no one was allowed in the area beneath the College without the Archmage's written consent.

As he spoke, Urag nervously eyed a container behind his desk, a fact that deeply surprised Agda. From the tone the librarian was using, it looked as though he knew something about the Midden that he wasn't willing to share.

"I hope your questions are simply theorical", Urag frowned when Agda finally made to leave. "Whoever ventures into the Midden risks a very painful death; also, if they survive they are immediately kicked out of the College".

After reassuring Urag about her intentions, Agda retreated in her bedroom and reflected at length upon her situation. Eventually, she took a quick series of decisions.

By reaching Winterhold and talking to her, Quaranir had risked to end up in troubles with his fellow monks; also, he had relived the feud between the Thalmor and his Order, which was considered a rogue organization by most members of the Dominion. If Quaranir had run all those risks just to warn her, it meant that his worries were founded. Therefore, Agda felt bound to follow his advice, even if that implied venturing into the mysterious Midden and talking to the equally mysterious Augur of Dunlain.

As predictable, the thought of sneaking into a forbidden part of the College and making her way through many dangers didn't appeal to Agda. Nonetheless, she knew that she had no choice: if the people of Winterhold were in danger, she needed to protect them.

While pondering her upcoming task, Agda thought about asking Adaeze for help. Unfortunately, as a common inhabitant of Winterhold, the Redguard wasn't allowed inside the College unless she obtained a written permission from the Archmage - and there was no way Savos Aren was going to grant her that permission on the basis of a very unclear mission.

Even without the Archmage's consent, Adaeze would have surely been willing to visit the Midden with Agda; nonetheless, had she been discovered, the Redguard would have immediately lost her job - and after all Adaeze had done for her on the previous weeks, Agda didn't want her to run that risk on her behalf.

After deciding not to inform her friend of her crazy mission, Agda thought about the other people who might be willing to face the Midden with her. She soon realized that she couldn't ask the other apprentices for help, as she couldn't bear the thought of them being kicked out of the College because of her. Also, by talking to the other students about the Midden Agda risked that some of them would tell the teachers about her secret plan.

While meditating on her task, Agda even thought about asking the Archmage for help. Yet, the girl soon realized that Quaranir had probably had his good reasons for talking to her rather than to Savos Aren. As a consequence, the healer understood that she had no choice: if she wanted to find the Augur of Dunlain and discover more about the danger Winterhold was running, she needed to face the Midden on her own.

* * *

That night Agda waited for all her friends and teachers to fall asleep. Shortly before midnight, she left her bed and got dressed in the darkness. For once she was willingly sporting Destruction robes rather than Restoration ones.

Agda was about to leave the Hall of Attainment when she realized that, had she run out of magicka during her adventure, she would have been forced to rely on her little, harmless dagger. Therefore, if she wanted to survive, she needed a better weapon.

Before she could even realize what she was doing, Agda muffled her steps with a spell and drank an invisibility potion. A second later, she made her way towards Enthir's room. The man was in the _Frozen Hearth_ , but the item the girl needed was inside his cupboard.

Carefully avoiding the traps the Bosmer had set to defend Chillrend, Agda used a telekinesis spell to get hold of the sword belonging to the mysterious stranger she'd met on the previous evening. Hoping that no one would see that heavy weapon moving through the air, the girl calmed her nerves by telling herself that she wasn't technically stealing - actually, she was simply borrowing something from a woman who owed her a favor.

Once Chillrend was safely in her hands, Agda looked at it in awe. The sword was pale blue, much unlike all the other glass weapons she'd seen in her career as a trader and as an enchanter. Moreover, everything about it vibrated power and danger and death.

As she strapped the sword to her waist and headed for the entrance to the Midden, Agda frowned. She felt strangely calm, a fact that scared her to death. Was she really venturing into a forbidden place to follow the advice of a weird monk she'd met only once in her life? Yet, it definitely looked like she was.

 _You could get killed_ , a voice on the back of Agda's mind warned her.

 _Or you could survive and save Winterhold from a threat_ , another voice replied.

Confused, Agda stopped one last time to reflect upon her plan. Exploring forbidden and dangerous places wasn't her cup of tea, but the girl deeply believed that Quaranir had warned her for a reason. As a consequence, she felt the need to act - and she needed to do it fast.

As she looked around the deserted first floor of the Hall of Attainment, Agda accidentally saw her image mirrorer by the pool of magical energy in the center of the room. The person who returned her stare was a determined Nord with a little cut on her neck, a deadly look in her eyes, a magnificent sword to her waist.

Agda was shocked by that sight. _What happened to the usual contemplative and whiney innkeeper turned healer?_ , she wondered as she got a closer look at herself. At the same time, however, that image helped Agda realize that she was doing the right thing and that she actually had a chance at surviving the Midden - after all, given the proximity of that place to the sleeping quarters of the College, it was really unlikely for it to host particularly dangerous creatures. Or, at least, that's what Agda wanted to believe.

Encouraged by that thought, the girl walked to the trapdoor hidden in the Hall of Attainment and slowly lowered herself in the most mysterious part of Winterhold.

Unfortunately for her, someone else in the College had just done the very same thing.

* * *

Agda regretted her choice to visit the Midden on her own as soon as she walked down the ladder connecting that place to the sleeping area of the College. The dungeon was dark and cold and damp - but most of all, it was riddled with creepy things such as animal skulls, bones and broken bottles of wine. As she came across the complete skeleton of a deer, Agda frowned: whoever had ventured into the Midden before her had probably had a lot of free time and a very peculiar sense of humour.

Despite her growing anxiety, the girl told herself that she needed to keep calm and reach her goal. After taking a long series of deep breaths, Agda readied a spell in one hand and wieldied Chillrend in the other, then started walking through the Midden. It didn't take her long to realize that the place had probably been used as a secret recreation and training area by generations of students: there were alchemy ingredients scattered around, barrels full of rotten food, tons of mead in each and every room. Unfortunately, the dungeon was also littered with human remains.

When she came across the first human skeleton of the night, Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine. A moment later, when she discovered a little cell with a bloody bedroll inside it, she even entertained the idea of fleeing the Midden altogether - if the blood stains on the wall meant anything, whoever had been held captive in that place had probably suffered a horrible dead. After casting a quick series of life-detecting spells, however, Agda realized that the creatures (or the people) that had killed that poor prisoner weren't around anymore. Encouraged by that discovery, she resumed her exploration of the Midden.

As Agda walked inside that maze, she actually realized that some of its parts were really fascinating. The girl for example couldn't hide her surprise at the sight of the so-called Atronach Forge, just like she couldn't help but think that the dungeon was probably as old as the College itself.

The young healer explored the Midden at length without coming across any danger. When she eventually spotted an ice wraith roaming a room, Agda sighed in relief: funnily enough, the lack of enemies until then had actually made her nervous.

Hiding behind a stone pillar, the girl observed the weird creature for a long amount of time. She'd read about ice wraiths in books and she'd also used their teeth in many alchemy experiments. Agda knew that they hated fire, therefore she summoned a fire atronach and created a couple of well-placed fire runes. Lured into that trap by the girl's unexpected appearance, the ice wraith died in less than a heartbeat.

Half an hour later, when Agda came across two skeletons, she smiled in relief: she'd feared the Midden to host terrible creatures like Draugr Overlords, but the few opponents she'd encountered until then were all very weak. Feeling particularly confident, Agda faced the skeletons with her spells, then finished them with her dagger. The girl didn't bother unsheating Chillrend: her magical skills were enough for her to dispatch that kind of opponents.

Agda's relief vanished as soon as she realized that the skeletons she'd just killed had emerged from a pit full of human remains. That mass grave deeply upset her and had her wonder what kind of creature had killed so many people at once; Agda also wondered why the College hadn't done anything to retrieve those corpses.

The young healer had an answer to both her questions as soon as she reached the following room. The circular area was adorned by a creepy Daedric relic in the shape of a hand. While cautiously roaming the area, Agda found a book that recounted the way dozens of apprentices had got themselves killed because of a Conjuration ritual gone horrible wrong. After that discovery the girl felt a tingle of uneasiness, which was soon accompanied by the desire to get out of the Midden as soon as possible.

After taking a small damp corridor on her right, Agda quickly dispatched a few frostbite spiders. She also realized that the air was getting colder and colder by the minute, almost as though she was venturing deeper and deeper into the frozen heart of her land.

After what felt like a century, Agda eventually came across the room hosting the Augur of Dunlain. The girl sighed in relief when she finally encountered her destination; at the same time, she couldn't help feeling proud of herself: she'd made it until there, and all on her own. Now she knew how it felt to be an accomplished mage.

Sadly enough, the Augur's news were quick to ruin Agda's good mood.

"Your efforts have been in vain", the oracle said as soon as the girl entered his room. The mysterious Augur of Dunlain was a globe of blue light that was speaking to Agda with a distant and powerful voice. "That which you wish to stop has already begun. Nonetheless, those who have sent you have not told you what they seek - what _you_ seek".

Agda felt the urge to roll her eyes. Why was everyone talking to her in riddles?

"I don't understand what you mean", she admitted when the Augur stopped talking. "What has already begun? And what do I seek?"

"You seek that which all who wield magic seek", the Augur replied while ignoring Agda's first question. "Knowledge. You shall find this: you seek meaning and shelter in Knowledge, but you will not find it. The Thalmor sought the same thing and it shall lead him to his end as it has with so many others".

Agda didn't have the time to think about the words the Augur had just said about her desire for knowledge - the mention of Ancano namely caused her face to become as pale as a ghost's.

"Ancano was here?", she said in disbelief. "Why?"

"The Thalmor has sought my knowledge as well", the Augur of Dunlain replied. "Your path, however, differs from his. Yours is a good path, one untraveled by many - and it is a path that can save your College. I will tell you what you need to know to follow it further".

There was a long pause, then the Augur spoke again.

"You, and those aiding you, wish to know more about the Eye of Magnus. You wish to avoid the disaster of which you are not yet aware. To see through Magnus' Eye without being blinded, however, you require his staff. Events now spiral quickly towards the inevitable center, so you must act with haste. Take this knowledge to your Archmage".

Agda was shocked by the discoveries that quick dialogue had led to. As the Augur disappeared, she thanked him from the bottom of the heart and immediately made her way back to the College. As soon as the young healer left the room of the oracle, however, something heavy connected with the back of her head, letting her fall into a world of darkness.

When Agda lost consciousness because of his blow, Ancano grinned: as a respected member of the Thalmor, he had no intention of allowing that girl to mess with the Psijic Order and ruin his personal plans for the greatness of the Dominion.


	39. Fear of the dark

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I deeply thank all my readers for their support . The special shout-outs of the week go to Valtieri, Contrary to Popular Belief 3 and Erithacus r. I was glad to see that Ancano is loathed by many people beside myself and I laughed out loud when I read Valtieri and C** **ontrary to Popular Belief** **3's description of his many, err, "qualities". Moreover, I was very reassured by C** **ontrary to Popular Belief** **'s wise words about this story focusing on Agda's journey rather than her destination.**

 **As for Erithacus r's review, I must say that I found it very interesting and useful. I love it** **when people express their observations in such a kind and constructive way!** **The loss of followers actually made me wonder whether something in my writing had changed, so it was good to hear your opinion about the differences between the early chapters and the most recent ones. I must confess that I do want to get through the College storyline as quickly as possible, especially because I feel that this part of the story is too close to the original gameplay. Therefore, dear Erithacus, thank you for letting me know that my eagerness to finish this section is actually influencing the quality of my work. Now that I know about it, I'll try to be more careful ad avoid rushing things.**

 **This update describes the close meeting between Agda and the** **"stuck up pointy-eared thing", as Valtieri ironically labelled Ancano (apropos, I'm very curious to know more about your ideas concerning the Dominion).**

 **The current instalment** **has a _huge warning_ for torture. ****It's a really dark chapter, as a consequence I suggest you read it with caution. Meanwhile** **I'll go hide in a corner and tell myself that I'm a horrible person.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **3rd of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

Agda didn't know how long she blacked out. She only knew that, when she finally opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of a damp ceiling over her head. A second later, when she tried to move, the mage realized that she was tied to a very uncomfortable wooden table.

"Well well well", someone she couldn't see suddenly said. "Aren't you a pleasant sight, all tied up like this?"

When she recognized Ancano's voice, Agda frowned. At that point the girl briefly remembered Quaranir's warning about the Eye of Magnus, her decision to venture into the Midden alone, the way she'd managed to reach the Augur of Dunlain without getting herself killed; a second later, Agda remembered something heavy connecting with the back of her head. It looked like Ancano had hit her with the hilt of a dagger, thus making her fall unconscious. Agda now wondered why the man had tied her down like that rather than simply kill her. The girl had more than a few possible explanations for that - unfortunately, all of them were very scary.

When Ancano took a step towards her, Agda tried to free herself from her bindings by casting a powerful spell. Sadly enough, the Thalmor had shackled her with enchanted chains that made her unable to use her magicka.

"Scream all you want, filth", Ancano mocked her when Agda let out a rageful yell at that discovery. "Only the Augur of Dunlain will hear you - and he clearly isn't in the position to aid you. You are my prisoner, Nord, and no one will come to save you".

As she realized that Ancano was right, Agda cursed her bad luck and her confidence: every time she thought she could face a task on her own, she always ended up being attacked by hungry vampires or heartless Thalmor or other foul creatures. The girl briefly wondered what was wrong with her.

When Ancano took another step towards her, Agda tried to spit in his face. The Thalmor laughed at her boldness, then laid his hand on her shoulder. When the girl tried to pull away from that undesired contact, the Altmer paralyzed her with a spell. Only then did Agda realize that she was still in the Midden, in the unsettling room that hosted a creepy Daedric relic in the shape of a hand.

"Isn't it ironic?", Ancano smirked when he realized that Agda had just taken in her surroundings. "One more brave apprentice of the College will die in the very same room where dozens of others have already met their end. Yet, before we get to the fun part I need to have a quick chat with you, Nord".

As she heard those words, Agda felt as though her heart had just skipped a beat. Her worst fears had just come true: it definitely looked like Ancano was going to torture her. Nonetheless, the girl had no intention of answering his questions.

"I won't tell you anything", she hissed while trying to hide her worries. "Therefore, if you want to kill me, you'd better do it now. I don't have all night".

Ancano laughed at Agda's reply, then he caressed her face with the hand that was previously resting on her shoulder.

"I will kill you, Nord, do not doubt that", he said with a low and seductive tone. "I will break every bone in this ugly face of yours, then I'll leave your corpse to rot in this room. First, however, I need you to tell me about your secrets - and if you behave, I may even give you a quick death. Now tell me, little one: what do you know about the Eye of Magnus and its power?"

When Ancano posed her that first question, Agda frowned. The young healer was more than acquainted with the cruelty of the Thalmor: those monsters had already tortured her once, they had forced her family to flee Anvil, they had even murdered Adaeze's parents. As a consequence, Agda knew that Ancano would have surely used her secrets to misuse the Eye of Magnus, even if that implied sacrificing Winterhold and its people to the greatness of the Dominion. Well aware of that fact, the girl kept her mouth shut throughout the whole interrogation.

Ancano didn't seem bothered by Agda's uncooperative attitude, just like he didn't seem bothered by the insults she kept on shouting in order to break through his detached façade - if that brat thought she could get him to give her a clean death by relying on that lame strategy, she was horribly wrong.

After more than one hour of pointless questions, Ancano surprisingly burst into laughter. He seemed pervertedly pleased by Agda' stubborness.

"You are a true Nord, I'll give you that", he smirked. "Regrettably, I am a master at breaking obstinate little things like you".

After saying those words, Ancano mischievously grinned. Then, for the first time in that long night, he used his skills as a torturer.

When the Thalmor laid a hand on her chest and suddenly electrocuted her, Agda couldn't stifle a surprised scream: in all her life, she'd never felt such a strong wave of electricity run through her body. For a moment she thought that Ancano was about to kill her, but the Altmer withdrew his hand just before she passed out.

Panting in the aftermath of the spell, Agda noticed the sickening smell of burnt skin. Moreover, she saw that her robes now sported a massive hole the size of a handprint. Disgusted by that sight and by the pain that was still running through her body, the girl closed her eyes and tried to block out what was happening around her. Unfortunately for her, Ancano had seemingly got tired of being polite.

When Agda let out a pained whine, her torturer couldn't stifle a satisfied chuckle. Amused by the way the girl was trying to ignore her desperate situation, Ancano grabbed her chin and leant down towards her, thus preventing her from finding shelter in her mind.

"That was only the beginning, filth", he slowly whispered in Agda's ears. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be feeling so bad that you'll welcome Oblivion with open arms".

Smirking, Ancano got ready to electrocute Agda again. At that point, the girl desperately looked for a way out of that nightmarish situation. Prompted by panic, the young healer suddenly summoned the power of the Serpent Stone. There was the familiar bolt of green light, then Ancano fell to the ground. Agda took advantage of that moment to try and break free from her ties, but the Thalmor's enchanted chains prevented her from escaping. As she understood the huge mistake she'd just made, Agda felt on the verge of fainting: not only had she thrown away her only chance of salvation - she'd also angered Ancano by paralyzing him and hurting him with the mysterious power of the Serpent Stone.

As the effects of the poison eventually wore out, the Altmer slowly got back to his feet, then wiped the dust off his clothes. A moment later, he turned to Agda and cast a very powerful spell that immediately caused her to pass out.

When that obstinate Nord lost consciousness, Ancano narrowed his eyes. Since that disgusting creature had dared hurt him, the time for threats and petty displays of power was over - now it was time for pure, utter violence.

* * *

After being tortured in Riverwood and coming across the horrors of Fellglow Keep, Agda believed that she'd already seen the worst humans could do to other living beings. Ancano, however, quickly showed her that she was wrong.

Agda didn't know how long he electrocuted her, just like she didn't know how many times she blacked out during that treatment. She only knew that, had she survived that experience, her body and her mind and her soul would never be the same again.

At first the interrogation resembled the one Agda had endured almost one year earlier: Ancano would ask her questions, she'd refuse to answer and a bolt of electricity would hit her at full force. Then, however, the Thalmor opted for a very different strategy.

Before Agda could protest, Ancano hung her up in the middle of that damp room, not far from the creepy Daedric relic the girl had already encountered during her exploration of the Midden. The Altmer made sure that her toes barely touched the ground, then he violently slapped her face. A moment later, he conjured a scourge and used it to beat his victim.

When the man whipped Agda for the first time, the shock and the adrenaline turned out to be stronger than the pain; as a consequence, for one crazy moment the girl believed that she was currently trapped in a very vivid nightmare. As the man kept on beating her, however, Agda understood that she was very much awake and that Ancano wasn't going to stop torturing her until she told him all her secrets.

Even after the girl passed out for what felt like the hundredth time, the Thalmor kept on whipping her with force, thus leaving red welts all over her body. He didn't attend only to her back, but he also made sure not to neglect her front. After a few minutes of that treatment Agda was completely covered in blood.

When the Thalmor eventually stopped asking her questions, Agda realized that by now he was simply torturing her out of fun. Also, she understood that Ancano wasn't going to let her walk out of the Midden alive. On the one hand, that discovery caused the girl to burst into tears; on the other hand, it strengthened her decision to keep her mouth shut. Ancano could take her life, but there was no way he was going to take her secrets too.

When the Altmer stopped whipping her, Agda thought that her torture was finally over. By now her clothes were completely ragged, whereas hot blood was dripping down her back and her chest and her limbs. The girl also had a very bruised face - every time she'd passed out or screamed too loud, Ancano'd namely slapped her with all his force. As a consequence of that rough treatment, the young mage now had a broken nose and had lost at least a couple of teeth. Given the circumstances, Agda believed that her situation couldn't get any worse. Sadly enough, Ancano quickly showed her that she was wrong.

When the Thalmor unsheathed his dagger, Agda tried once again to get free from her bindings, thus causing the man to slap her for the umpteenth time. As soon as the weapon began ghosting over her face, the girl spoke for the first time since Ancano had begun whipping her. At the beginning of her interrogation the young mage had been very vocal: she'd insulted her torturer, she'd screamed her pain, she'd sworn that she would never confess her secrets, all in the hope that Ancano would get tired of her stubborness and finally give her a clean death; yet, after the Thalmor had started whipping her, Agda had been transformed into a bloody ragdoll with no will or strength to speak. The young healer hadn't changed her mind about keeping her secrets hidden from Ancano; nonetheless, by now her body was completely, utterly broken - so broken that Agda eventually forsook her pride and asked Ancano for mercy.

"Please...", the girl murmured between her bloody lips. Every word made her chest heave painfully and brought renewed pain to her bruised face. "Please..."

As he realized how much Agda was suffering, Ancano chuckled. Then, ignoring her words, he pressed the flat of his dagger against her cheek. The enchanted steel immediately caused the healer to hiss in distress.

"It's too late to ask for mercy, Nord", Ancano evilly whispered in her ears. "Also, you should remember that you're the one to blame for this whole situation. By the way, worry not: I'll find out what you were up to after I kill you - after all, I'm sure it was nothing important. Before sending you to Oblivion, however, I'll have some more fun with you, filth: it's been a while since I last disfigured someone and I'm afraid that my skills might have got a bit rusty".

As she heard those words, Agda let out a loud sob, thus earning herself another slap. A moment later, when the tip of the dagger started carving into the soft flesh at the corner of her mouth, the girl prayed for darkness to claim her once and for all. When unconsciousness washed over her, Agda welcomed it in bliss.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Ancano made his way out of the Midden. In his arms was a limp body covered by a black cloak.

The Altmer exited the foundations of the College through a hidden passage to the Sea of Ghosts. Once there, he walked up to the shore and cast a telekinesis spell. The body in his arms floated in the air until it reached the point where the waters of the ocean were at their deepest. At that moment, Ancano smiled: it'd been a while since the last time he had so much fun while doing his job.

As the Altmer raised his hood to fight off the cold snowstorm raging around him, a strong gust of wind blew away the cloak that was covering his victim's body. When confronted with the sight of the battered flesh of that unlucky girl, the Thalmor couldn't stifle a satisfied smirk: the tortures he'd inflicted upon Agda of Anvil were a masterpiece of evilness and mirrored the fate of all those who were foolish enough to oppose the Dominion.

As he thought about the way he'd whipped and disfigured the healer until her body had become nothing more than a bloody mass of flesh, Ancano didn't feel any regret; on the contrary, he simply felt a tingle of disappointment for the way Agda had passed out while he was carving a few nice scars in the soft skin of her arms.

Sighing at the memory, the Altmer carefully looked around him. He couldn't leave his victim in the Midden, just like he couldn't bury her in the wilds for the risk of someone coming across her by the mistake. Hopefully, the freezing waters of the Sea of Ghosts would carry that stubborn Nord away from his eyes and his mind and his soul, thus making her become just one of the many apprentices of the College who'd vanished into nothing and never come back.

Grinning at the thought of that brilliantly solved problem, Ancano snapped his hands and let Agda's body drop in the ocean like a stone. As he made his way back to the College, the Thalmor smirked: he was sure he would never see that annoying woman again.

* * *

When the cold waters of Winterhold touched her marred flesh, Agda abruptly snapped her eyes open. She screamed at the burning sensation the sea salt was provoking to her wounds, but that fact only caused her lungs to get filled with water. Shocked by the realization of her whereabouts, Agda used her last forces to understand what was going on. She was still alive, though barely, and she knew she had to keep on fighting.

 _Swim, you damned Nord!_ , Agda thought while trying to reach the surface of the ocean. She perfectly remembered being tortured in the Midden and believed that the sea salt could help her survive the awful injuries Ancano had caused to her body and her mind and her soul. To survive, however, she needed to swim.

 _Move your legs, you lazy girl!_ , the healer told herself as the surface of the sea got farther and farther. She was a good swimmer, for Talos' sake, she couldn't drown in the ocean after surviving such a painful interrogation at the hands of the Thalmor!

Despite those thoughts, every time Agda tried to move her limbs she was welcomed by a terrifying pain that shook every nerve in her body. As the surface of the sea got more and more distant, the girl eventually gave up the fight: she was sore and tired and broken and was ready to let sleepiness overtake her.

As she closed her eyes, Agda briefly thought about her parents, about her friends, about Delphine and the Blades. The girl later recalled her happy childhood in Anvil, her first visit to the Imperial City together with her family, her first days in Riverwood after the men she was travelling with had stolen all her money; she recalled the joy she felt whenever she used a spell, the pride that overtook her every time she created a new potion, the calmness that surrounded her when she was reading a good book. At last, the girl remembered the nights she'd spent in Riverwood with Steinarius, the soft touch of his lips on hers, the way his arms always managed to keep her warm and safe and protected.

Smiling at the memory, Agda gave in to tiredness and allowed darkness to overtake her.

* * *

That night, if someone had observed the isolated shore north of the College of Winterhold, they would have surely been greeted by a very curious sight.

Shortly after a man in dark robes dumped something in the ocean, a woman in an equally dark armor took his place on the shore. Rather than looking at the horizon and grinning, however, the newcomer did something completely different: she shed her cloak, then she dived head first in the freezing waters of the Sea of Ghosts.

For a few minutes nothing else happened in that forsaken part of Tamriel . Then, however, the woman in black emerged from the surface of the sea and took a sharp intake of breath. In her arms was the limp body of a consciousless girl.

The mysterious woman swam back to the shore, then dragged the person she'd just saved out of the water. She covered her with a cloak and other dry clothes, cursing at the sight of the scars that marred her face, her chest and her limbs _._ Soon enough the snow beside the girl became red with blood, but her savior couldn't care less.

Without losing her calm, the older woman checked for the heartbeat of her friend, then carefully compressed her chest and blew air into her lungs. She repeated the procedure once, twice, thrice, until the girl produced a weird gurgling sound. A second later, the younger of the two women abruptly snapped her eyes open and spat a huge amount of water.

In that moment the black-eyed stranger sighed in relief: Talos be praised, Agda of Anvil was still alive.


	40. Past in present

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, happy belated Easter to all those who celebrate it. Second of all, a huge _thank you_ to all those who've taken the time to read my story and leave reviews. **

**The special shoutouts of the week go to Valtieri, KSausage and Rocky. .** **As for KSausage's review, I must admit that it had me chuckle more than once. Also, it raised some interesting questions.** **Ramsay Bolton is one of my favourite characters from _Game of Thrones_ (yes, I have a thing for psychos), but I'm afraid I didn't learn a lot from him throughout the years - hence the lack of mental torture on Agda. Actually, I think Ancano wouldn't have bothered using such powerful spells on her - after all, our girl looks like a tiny innocent healer with nothing to hide. **

**As for Agda's resistance to frost, I mainly blame that on her Nordic blood. I probably overdid things (it was rather unnatural for her to jolt awake as soon as the stranger pulled her out of the water), but I wanted to have a nice "I'm aliiiive" scene before ending the previous chapter. Also, I might have seen "The Revenant" (with Di Caprio hopping in and out of freezing waters unscathed) one too many times.**

 **As for the Thalmor being Thalmor, one day I'd like to write something about that overused cliché. Speaking of which, Valtieri's review was as interesting as usual and allowed me to discover a very informative series of Youtube videos called "Elder Scrolls Lore". I watched the episode related to the High Elves and I must say that it got me very fascinated - at least now I understand why my sister is so in love with the Altmer and deeply dislikes all the other races. Therefore, I deeply thank Valtieri for the interesting tip.**

 **Last but not least, I thank Rocky. for their fun reviews. Agda is definitely a fangirl, especially in the first part of the story. Also, I'm flattered (not) by your comparison between my fanfic and Twilight - after all, the only difference is that my vampires don't glow in the sunlight.**

 **Anyway, back to business: this update presents us with the aftermath of Agda's torture. Also, it provides us with some information about her saviour. If at the end of the chapter you have some unanswered questions, worry not: I plan to explain more about Mystery Woman in the following instalment.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **3rd of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

Agda didn't know where she was, just like she didn't know what was going on around her. Before she could open her eyes, the girl smelled the comforting scent of clean sheets, then she realized that she was resting on a comfortable mattress. There was something damp on her forehead, whereas another cold cloth was pressed against the right side of her face. At last, Agda noticed a light pinching sensation on her arm. For some strange reasons, she felt as though someone was stitching up a deep gash in her limb.

Willing to find out more about her whereabouts, Agda tried to open her eyes. Much to her dismay, that simple operation turned out to be incredibly complicated: one of her eyes was blocked by a bandage, whereas the lid of the other simply wouldn't obey her orders.

Agda heard a chair shift, then she felt a cold bottle being pressed against her lips. She made to squirm, but a firm hand gripped her jaw and forced her to gulp the liquid that was being poured into her mouth. The girl recognized the sour flavor of a healing potion and reveled in the feelings that washed over her as soon as the draught started working. Thanks to that vial, Agda eventually managed to raise one eyelid and observe her surroundings.

The young Nord realized that she was in a cozy room. There was a tall cupboard to her left, while opposite her bed was a closed wooden door. Before Agda could take in any more detail, a woman with very dark eyes suddenly came into her visual field.

As soon as she noticed the stranger, Agda's mind recovered a few memories - a snowstorm raging around her, her naked body shivering violently in the cold night of Winterhold, her blood staining the snow where she was laying. Eventually, the girl remembered the dark-eyed woman who'd saved her from the freezing waters of the Sea of Ghosts after she'd been tortured at length by Ancano.

"Who..."

"Not now", the stranger brusquely said. "You have to rest and stay still, otherwise you'll mess up my stitches".

Frowning, Agda looked at her body. She was covered by a rough woolen blanket, under which she could see a damp towel pressed directly against her front. A similar cloth was placed under her naked back, whereas more damp bandages wrapped a huge part of her face. As for her arms, the girl immediately realized that they were covered in deep scars that had already been stitched. Being a healer, Agda knew that such deep injuries could be caused only by a blade; as a consequence, she immediately understood that Ancano had created them by engraving her skin with his dagger. Luckily enough, for most of that operation she'd been completely unconscious.

Noticing the distressed look on Agda's face, the mysterious woman walked up to her and checked her temperature by laying a hand on her forehead. Pleased by the result, the stranger slumped down on a chair near the girl's bed. In that moment Agda noticed that her savior had a severe limp and seemed in pain every time she moved too fast. When her brain finally allowed her to form coherent thoughts, the mage realized that she was dealing with the very same woman she'd met in Winterhold two nights earlier. As she looked around, Agda blushed in embarrassement: after torturing her, Ancano had seemingly stolen Chillrend, the sword that belonged to her savior. That fact made her very unease.

"Chillrend..."

"If that Thalmor bastard thinks he can steal from me, he's about to have a nasty surprise", the stranger said with a strange sound that simultaneously resembled a snarl and a snort.

Agda frowned at the woman's confidence, and she frowned even more when she noticed the coldness radiating from her black eyes. Eventually, it was those cold black eyes that caused her to recall a distant conversation she'd had with Steinarius.

* * *

 _It was a cold rainy night in Riverwood and everyone in the Sleeping Giant was enjoying a good night of rest._

 _When Steinarius jolted awake all of a sudden, he found himself face-to-face with a very scared Agda. Before the girl could even realize what was going on, the Imperial had already buried his face in the crook of her neck._

 _"Another nightmare", the man explained with a shiver. "I-I'm sorry if I-I woke you"._

 _Agda hushed him with a whisper, then cast a weak calming spell. The tremor in the Imperial's limbs immediately lessened._

 _"Here, drink some water", the girl suggested after reaching the tankard on the table thanks to a telekinesis spell._

 _Steinarius forced himself to take a few sips, then sighed as Agda rubbed his spine and covered his bare torso with a blanket._ _As she gently caressed her partner, the girl tried to hide her distress at being rosen four times in the previous two hours. Ever since his close encounter with a vampire, Steinarius couldn't get a full night of rest - and since Agda spent her nights with him, that meant that she couldn't sleep either._

 _"I'm sorry, Agds, I just can't stop those awful nightmares", Steinarius muttered. At that moment, he couldn't bring himself to look his lover in the eyes. "Ever since that vampire stabbed me…"_

 _As Steinarius sheepishly trailed off, Agda hugged him again._

 _"It's alright, Stein, it's alright", she soothed him._

 _"It's not alright, Agds. It was alright the first time I woke you, but now…"_

 _Agda forced Steinarius to lay on his back, then she leant towards him and gently stroked his blonde hair. When she realized that he was still upset, she kissed him softly on the lips, then she lovingly caressed his cheeks._

 _"Stein, it's not your fault if you can't sleep", she whispered upon breaking that contact. "When that creature attacked you, you probably came_ _down with a weak form of Sanguinare Vampiris. The disease couldn't plant its root because of your beastblood, but it is affecting your dreams anyway. I guess that's what happens when a werewolf gets too close to a vampire"._

 _Unlike Agda, Steinarius didn't believe that quick explanation._

 _"Vampires or not, you can't go on like this", he sighed as soon as the girl stopped talking. "Ever since we first slept together, I've been waking you up at least twice every night. It's not healthy for you to sleep so little. Also, it is downright unfair"._

 _Agda tenderly smiled at her man's worries, then she kissed him again._

 _"Don't worry for me", she whispered with a very reassuring tone. "Just rest, alright?"_

 _"I don't want to fall asleep", Steinarius protested, his grey eyes full of guilt and uneasiness and sadness. "If I do, I'll surely wake you again"._

 _Amused by the Imperial's expression, Agda chuckled and laid down next to him. She placed her head on his chest, then she started tracing the pale lines of his scars, thus helping Steinarius relax. After a few minutes of those gentle ministrations, the man let out a sigh, then embraced his lover with his strong arms. From her position, Agda could feel that his heart was still drumming madly in the aftermath of his nightmare._

 _"I'm serious, Agds: you should really sleep in another room", Steinarius suggested when the girl closed her eyes in bliss. The words caused his chest to rumble with his voice. "If you stay, I'll wake you again"._

 _"Then it means that I'll fall asleep again", Agda replied with a low chuckle._

 _Confronted with those words, Steinarius sighed in defeat._

 _"You're too good to me", he whispered as though he was talking to himself._

 _Agda smiled against his chest, then she took an important decision - given that nor she nor Steinarius were likely to get any more sleep, she thought it was high time he answered some of her questions._

 _"You dreamed of Vigdis again, didn't you?"_

 _Steinarius visibly tensed. Yet, despite the nervousness caused by that question, he admitted that Agda was right. Fueled by that reply, the girl proceeded to enquire about the woman who still managed to bother her partner's troubled nights._

 _"What was she like?", Agda asked after gathering all her courage. "I mean, I know that Vigdis was a warrior and everything, but I'd like to find out more about her"._

 _When Steinarius' arms tightened their grip on her body, Agda feared that he was going to ignore her question. Nonetheless, the Imperial eventually relaxed._

 _"What do you want to know?", he asked with a tired sigh._

 _Regretting her own audacity, Agda blushed._

 _"I don't know", she admitted. "Perhaps you could tell me what Vigdis looked like"._

 _There was another long moment of silence, then Steinarius sighed again._

 _"When she first joined the Companions, Vigdis wasn't a striking beauty", he revealed. "She was too thin and too tall, had long dark hair full of knots, a sickly pale complexion and a very cold and suspicious atttitude. Then, however, she grew into a stunning warmaiden and a loyal shield-sister._

 _"In Jorrvaskr Vigdis found the time to look after herself, the chance to shape a healthy and muscular body, the confidence and the self-esteem to finally become friends with the people who lived with her._ _When I proposed to her, my fiancée was the most beautiful woman of Whiterun: she had wavy dark hair, a graceful yet imposing figure, perfectly chiselled traits and a very pale skin. But most of all, she had the most fascinating eyes I've ever seen: they were completely black and they reminded me of the starless nights of the North"._

 _When Steinarius paused, Agda felt slightly unease._

 _"From what you say, Vigdis was a wonderful woman", she sheepishly pointed out._

 _Steinarius shrugged._

 _"Vigdis was beautiful, but she belongs in my past", he said. A second later, the Imperial tilted Agda's head towards him and_ _looked into her deep brown eyes. "Now I have you, Agds", he added with a tender smile._

 _As his lips touched hers, Agda felt loved and happy and serene: a_ _lthough Steinarius couldn't sleep straight for more than two hours, she was sure that he was the perfect man for her._

* * *

The memory of that conversation caused Agda to feel a rush of rage at the way Steinarius had dumped her a few weeks later. When she was done mentally insulting the Dragonborn, the girl finally focused on his description of Vigdis.

The stranger who'd saved Agda was tall and imposing, had a very pale face and short dark hair that didn't reach her shoulders; although that last detail didn't match Steinarius' description of his former lover, the black eyes of the mysterious woman immediately reminded Agda of the starless nights of Skyrim. Frowning, the young mage tried to understand whether her suspicions were correct.

"Vigdis", she tentatively whispered when her swollen lips finally obeyed her.

At first, the mysterious woman didn't react. A second later, however, she rolled her eyes.

"I see that my fiancé hasn't failed to mention me to his latest love interest", she said with a snort.

Upon hearing those words, Agda deadpanned. Vigdis, Steinarius' long-lost fiancée, was very much alive; moreover, she had just saved her from the deadly embrace of the Sea of Ghosts. The mage now wondered why that cruel Nord had been that generous towards her, whereas she hadn't had any problem in breaking the heart of the man who once loved her above everything else.

* * *

Agda confusingly looked at the woman who'd just saved her life. Over the previous months the young healer had nourished mixed feelings towards Vigdis: Agda had hated her for breaking Steinarius' heart, she had envied her for the way she'd won the man's love for herself, she had pitied her for her injuries and her alleged death. Yet, now that the object of all those feelings had saved her life and was looking at her with an unreadable expression, the girl didn't know what to think.

"I suppose you'll have lots of questions", Vigdis said while crossing her arms. She was wearing a frown and looked slightly irritated by Agda' shocked expression.

Too confused and sore to talk, the mage nodded. Vigdis rolled her eyes, then she started pacing up and down the room.

For a moment, Agda thought that the warrior was deliberately ignoring her. A second later, however, the elder woman spoke.

"You're feeling better thanks to my potions", she abruptly explained. Agda noticed that Vigdis had a thick Nordic accent. "As a consequence, I'll exploit these few moments in which I have your undivided attention to tell you a thing or two about my life with Steinarius. If you start hissing in pain or your heartbeat suddenly worries me, I'll stop immediately. Are we clear?"

Frowning, Agda wondered how Vigdis could feel her heartbeat from the distance. A moment later, however, she remembered about the Companions' beast blood and got an answer to her own question.

With a light nod, the girl informed her savior that she was ready to listen to her explanations. Vigdis narrowed her eyes, then resumed pacing up and down the room. Agda had to admit that her martial demeanour was slightly frightening.

"I suppose that my husband told you that I heartlessly left him", Vigdis scoffed in a seemingly annoyed way. "Moreover, he probably told you about his efforts to make me feel loved and courted and protected after my accident, just like he probably described you how broken he was after I disappeared from his life. I'm right, aren't I?"

When she noticed Agda's confused look, Vigdis stopped walking.

"Don't worry if I call Steinarius my _husband_ ", she pointed out as soon as she understood why Agda looked so shocked. "I know that we weren't married, but that makes it easier for me to explain what happened between us - unlike him, I've never been particularly good with words".

When Agda's expression didn't change, Vigdis fought the urge to roll her eyes - the girl had probably thought that she meant to criticize Steinarius.

"When I say that my husband tried to make me feel loved and courted and protected after my accident with Arnbjorn, I really mean it", the black-eyed woman clarified while fighting the desire to snort. "Steinarius has many flaws, but he isn't a liar. Therefore, everything he told you about me is probably true".

"Yet... left..."

Before Agda's croaked voice could finish that sentence, Vigdis stopped her. The girl was feeling slightly better thanks to all the potions she'd poured down her throat, but needed to save up strength for the following hours - had Agda come down with an infection or had her injuries started bleeding again, she would have namely found herself in a very dangerous situation.

"I left Steinarius, yes", Vigdis admitted after deciphering the mage' slurred words. "After my accident, that man took care of me in an impeccable way; nonetheless, I broke his heart - and I'm sure that you think I'm a cold-hearted bitch for leaving him like I did".

Although Agda didn't say anything, her expression was very legible.

"I do not blame you for that", Vigdis shrugged when she noticed the girl's wordless accusation. "Nonetheless, I'd like you to know the reasons behind my decision: after all you've done for Steinarius, I guess you deserve an explanation for his problems in finding happiness with another woman".

Before Agda could voice her surprise for the way Vigdis seemed to know so much about her and the Dragonborn, the former Companion started recalling her past.

"I bet that Steinarius told you everything about my injuries, just like he probably told you about the death of our son and about the way he employed some of the best healers of Tamriel to heal my wounds", she began. "Yet, I think he never realized how his efforts for resuming our normal life actually made me feel".

There was a moment of silence, then Vigdis resumed talking. Agda noticed that, although she was trying to hide it, her black eyes were now full of nostalgia.

"When I fell in love with him, Steinarius was a cheerful and carefree man, a passionate and generous warrior, a kind and friendly shield-brother", the mysterious woman explained. "Back then Steinarius loved training the new whelps, drinking mead with his friends, hunting with me and the other Companions; he loved reading and smithing and singing and he dreamed of becoming a better fighter, a faithful husband, a proud and protective father to a bunch of brats who would play hide and seek with him all day long. Even if you met him only last year, I think you can understand how much he changed ever since I left him".

Agda frowned: the man Vigdis was describing seemed a completely different person from the Imperial she'd recently fallen in love with. Despite her close relationship to Steinarius, Agda namely had never heard him sing, just like she'd never seen him read a book or play with a child.

"Unlike Steinarius, I was never a cheerful person", Vigdis said, thus continuing her tale. "I'd suffered a lot during my childhood, therefore I had a lot of problems letting strangers into my life. Yet, Steinarius managed to break through my walls like a tornado. He made me feel loved and, despite the many divergencies between us, we soon found a perfect balance: Steinarius was talkative, I was silent; he was friendly, I was suspicious; he was polite, I was always too brusque. Despite our differences, we completed each other like the missing pieces of a puzzle: when Steinarius overdid things, I slowed him down - and when I was too mistrustful towards other people, he would help me open up to them. Even when fighting, he was the one to dive head first into battle, whereas I preferred sneaking around and relying on stealth. We were a perfect team, probably the best one the Companions had ever had".

When Vigdis paused, Agda tried to imagine that tall woman together with Steinarius. With his grey eyes and his blond hair, the man probably created a pleasant contrast to Vigdis's black irises and dark auburn mane. The girl had no trouble believing that in their youth the two of them had been the most beautiful couple of Whiterun.

"As you already know, my stubborness destroyed everything, as it led to my fight with Arnbjorn and to the death of my child", Vigdis sighed after a brief pause. "After discovering about Eidan's fate, I grew depressed - and even when I started getting better, I still felt guilty for destroying my life and Steinarius'".

"Yet... now..."

Confronted with Agda's tentative words, Vigdis burst into a bitter laughter.

"Now I'm perfectly healed, you say? Sadly for me, you're damn wrong, Agda".

While speaking, Vigdis produced a little vial from a pocket in her dark armor, then eagerly drank it. The consequences took Agda by surprise: now that the antidote hiding her injuries had ended its benefic effects, Vigdis' otherwise perfect features were disfigured by many scars. One went through her mouth, other ones crisscrossed her forehead, a last one traced its path through her left eyelid - the very same eyelid that covered a completely blind iris. Confronted with the woman' scarred face, Agda flinched in horror.

"It took me more than a year to create a potion that could hide my scars", Vigdis confessed. The woman limped across the room until she found a chair, then ungracefully slumped down on it. "By that time, I had already left Steinarius. After my run in with Arnbjorn, the poor thing was forced to see this horror every day".

"But... loved..."

"Steinarius loved me, of course he did", Vigdis said, thus ending that sentence on Agda's behalf. "The thing is, I loved him too. I loved him and after my accident I felt guilty for destroying his life, for preventing him from becoming a father, for ruining all his dreams of happiness and peace. Because of me, Steinarius abandoned the Companions, lost his son, was forced to spend most of his days by my side, feeding me and bathing me and soothing me whenever I had a nightmare or burst into tears because of my painful injuries.

"I knew that Steinarius didn't blame me for what happened, as from the very first moment he took that burden upon himself; I also knew that he was acting in good faith when he told me that everything would go back to normality. Nevertheless, every time I looked in his eyes, I couldn't help but think that I'd been the one to destroy his life".

There was a moment of silence during which Vigdis grabbed another potion and poured a reddish liquid into her mouth. As a consequence of that, her scars immediately began to fade.

"I've always been proud woman, Agda of Anvil", the former Companion said after pulling a disgusted face at the potion's flavor. "Therefore, after my accident I couldn't stand the thought of being a burden to someone; in particular, I couldn't stand the thought of being a burden to the man I loved above everything else in the world.

"Even after Eidan's death, Steinarius made sure I felt courted and safe and protected, he made sure I could rely on the best healers of Tamriel, he made sure I could receive all his love and affection; yet, I could see that he was sacrificing himself to a woman who'd been so stupid to ignore all his worries and suggestions, thus destroying his future and killing his son. Over the course of time I could see Steinarius' sword get rustier and rustier, I could see the joy fading from his eyes, I could see his dreams of glory turn into memories of a past when he was one of the best fighters of the Companions - and to me, that change was simply unbearable.

"Everything got much worse after the murder of King Thorygg. He and Steinarius had always been close friends, therefore my husband almost went mad with grief after receiving that news. Ever since then he began reading books about the Great War, he got more and more interested in politics, he even started dreaming of avenging the death of his friend.

"At first that change was really subtle: most of the time Steinarius would be as kind and loving as usual and, when asked about the war, he would tell me that his life was with me, in Whiterun, far from the battlefields and the dangers of the conflict. Yet, Steinarius soon started cursing the Stormcloaks with the members of the Battle-Born family, discussing the strategy of the Legion with the politicians from Dragonsreach, talking about Thorygg every time he met other Imperials. That's when I realized that, no matter how hard my husband was trying, his desire to fight in the war was much stronger than his wish to rebuild a quiet life with me - and as a warrior myself, I clearly couldn't blame him. Therefore, when one evening I heard Steinarius admit that he couldn't join the Legion because of me, I decided to leave Whiterun and never bother him again".

When Vigdis paused to take another sip from her potion, Agda couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It was clear that leaving Steinarius had been the most difficult decision in her life and that she still felt a lot of affection for that clumsy man.

"Back then I thought I was acting out of love",Vigdis admitted with a bitter chuckle. "By setting my husband free, I thought that he would easily find a new woman and a new purpose in life, thus forgetting about his wretched relationship with me. Unfortunately, by doing so I underestimated the strength of his feelings: Steinarius wanted to fight in the war, sure, but he wanted a quiet life with me above everything else in the world - and only after I left him did I realize that I wanted the very same thing.

"The first weeks after leaving my husband, I thought I was going mad", the Nord continued with a snort. As an effect of her potion, by now the scars on her face had completely disappeared. "Not only did I miss him every moment of my life - my beast blood also tried to bring me back to him even when I was asleep. You should namely know that, after a werewolf finds a mate, they usually live together until death does them apart".

Agda frowned. She knew about werewolves' legendary fidelity, but until then she'd thought it to be just a simple myth.

"How... after..."

"How did I survive after leaving Steinarius? It wasn't simple, Agda. Luckily enough, my werewolf senses soon started giving me some peace. Also, back then I could rely on some very special people".

As she said that, Vigdis produced a tiny little smile.

"I've never been a sociable person, therefore I've always had very few friends", she explained. "Among them there was Sapphire, a young thief I met shortly after joining the Companions.

"I first bumped into Sapphire upon entering Riften on my own and seeing a stable boy being bullied by a tall girl in leather armor. I usually don't get involved in that kind of arguments, but on that occasion the boy's expression was so desperate that I decided to step up for him and take his defense. The Nord girl insulted me, but she eventually let the poor guy be.

"That very same evening I was enjoying a tankard of mead after fulfilling a task near the city. All of a sudden, the Nord girl from earlier walked up to me and challenged me to a fight. Before we could get down to brawling, however, a red-haired man stopped us and forced us to settle our problems in a peaceful way - and ever since then, Sapphire and I have relied on each other on countless times.

"Given our close friendship, after my accident Sapphire started visiting me very often. The day after Steinarius said that he couldn't join the Legion because of me, my best friend happened to be in Whiterun. She noticed my distress and she understood that by remaining with my husband I was wasting my life in a vortex of guilt; at the same time, she agreed that I was preventing Steinarius from pursuing his dreams.

"When I realized that Sapphire had the same opinion as me, I asked her to help me elope from that desperate situation. My best friend wanted me to change my mind, but she eventually understood that I hadn't taken that decision lightly. As a consequence, she helped me escape from Whiterun while Steinarius was busy visiting a friend just outside the city gates".

There was a moment of silence, during which Agda thought she'd just seen a few tears well up in Vigdis' black eyes. She'd always thought that woman to be a heartless warrior who'd only cared for Steinarius' money and for his protection; yet, now that she'd met her, Agda realized that Vigdis still hadn't got over the abrupt end of her relationship with the Imperial.

Frowning, the mage wondered whether that fascinating black-eyed fighter was planning to resume her life with the Dragonborn. That thought sent a tingle of fear down her spine: although she'd tried so hard to deny it, Agda was still in love with Steinarius. With Vigdis around, however, she knew that she had no chance to win the man's affection for herself. Her rival was beautiful and brave and strong, was mysterious and proud and clever, had a very fascinating and intriguing attitude; she could fight, she could brew excellent potions, she could take important decisions without asking anyone for advice. Moreover, that proud woman looked like a passionate and protective lover. Compared to her, Agda felt slightly more interesting than a mudcrab.

As the the healing potions stopped working and darkness claimed her again, the young mage feared that her dreams of a happy life with Steinarius would never come true - and all because a fascinating ghost from his past had returned once again to undermine his future.


	41. Paths that cross

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the second update of the week. I was very excited about this chapter, therefore I couldn't wait to post it.**

 **Before I begin, let me thank you dear Elspeth and Valtieri. It was great to read your reviews, just like it was great to see that you're still on board. Also, I definitely have to compliment you and all those who correctly guessed the identity of Mystery Woman. You really are the best!**

 **Although it may sound weird, I'm absolutely glad to know that Vigdis comes across as cold-hearted and angry - actually, that's how I always meant her to be. Apropos, I consider her a rather intriguing character, therefore one day I may write a story about her relationship with Steinarius and their time with the Companions. First, however, I need to finish this fic.**

 **As for Vigdis' motivation to keep Agda safe, I must say that Valtieri did a really great job with their theory - when I began writing this story, I namely wanted Delphine to be the missing link between those two women. Then, however, I decided to change mix things up, as it didn't allow Vigdis to act like the generous woman she actually is.**

 **All that said, it's now time I described my latest update. This chapter will provide us with some more information about Vigdis. Also, it will mark an important twist in the story.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

As she carefully closed the door to Agda's room, Vigdis frowned. After saving her from the deadly embrace of the sea, the warrior had taken the young mage to Frostflow Lighthouse in the hope that the people who lived there could help her heal the awful injuries on the girl's body. Sadly enough, Vigdis had soon realized that something in the old building was wrong, deeply and horribly wrong.

Upon entering the place and noticing Ramani's corpse in the main hall, Vigdis had understood that she couldn't rely on anyone's help to treat Agda's frightening wounds; later, when she'd noticed a dead chaurus near the fireplace, she'd also realized that Frostflow Lighthouse was probably close to a dangerous Falmer den. Vigdis had been upset by that discovery; nonetheless, she'd decided to stay in the building anyway. Agda was too weak to face another journey and was also in great need of warmth and treatment. Vigdis hoped she could provide her with both without any foul creature getting in the way.

As she looked at the door she'd just locked, the warrior sighed. There were a few bear traps preventing the Falmer from reaching Agda's room; also, Vigdis was sure she could stand her own in a fight against those creatures. Nonetheless, the woman couldn't wait for the mage's conditions to improve - she didn't like the smell of death inside the lighthouse and deeply wished she could get out of there as soon as possible. Unfortunately, Agda's conditions made it impossible for the two of them to leave.

Ancano hadn't been kind to her, Vigdis noticed as she approached the unconscious girl - he'd whipped her, he'd broken her nose and a few more bones in her face, he'd made her left eye so swollen that Agda couldn't even open it; but most of all, the Thalmor had disfigured the girl by carving the soft flesh of her face and her bosom and her limbs with a sharp dagger.

As she took a closer look at those newly formed scars, Vigdis had to stifle a shiver. Two deep gashes started at each corner of the girl's mouth, made their ways through her cheeks and finally met in the middle of her forehead, whereas many other marks crisscrossed her nose and her jaws and the rest of her face. Vigdis realized that the scars on Agda's body were even scarier than her own; also, had the girl survived her injuries, they were going to make it impossible for her to lead a normal life - with such a disfigured face, finding a partner or avoiding nasty rumours was namely going to be very difficult.

There was a low whimper, then Agda grimaced. When Vigdis placed a hand on her forehead, the girl fought hard to open her eyes. She gave the warrior a pained look, then she whimpered again. She was now too weak to speak and could only use her expression to convey her thoughts and her feelings.

"The effects of my potions have run out", Vigdis explained her. "That's why you're doing worse".

Agda tried to nod, but the movement caused another pained wince to shadow her face. Vigdis hushed her, then laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Luckily enough, Agda still had no idea of the gravity of her injuries; also, she wasn't going to understand the damage Ancano had caused to her face until someone gave her a mirror - and Vigdis had no intention of doing that.

As she looked at the scars engraved in Agda's face and arms and chest, the black-eyed woman was overcome with hatred. Weirdly enough, she liked Agda: the girl seemed sweet and shy, calm and polite, gentle but fierce. Also, if the way the Thalmor had tortured her meant anything, Agda was likely much more stubborn and braver than she looked.

Willing for the girl feel better, Vigdis uncorked a few healing potions and helped her gulp them. Agda's face immediately looked better.

"You slept for less than an hour", Vigdis said when confronted with the mage's questioning gaze. "The potions I gave you will help your body recover faster. With some luck, they will also help you with your fever".

Agda would have liked to nod, but right then even the slightest movement caused her to whimper in pain. When she finally felt strong enough to speak, the mage tried to ask Vigdis about their location.

"We're in Frostflow Lighthouse", the woman said after correctly interpreting the slurred sounds coming from the healer's lips.

Agda welcomed the news with a frown.

"Owner..."

"The owner of the lighthouse is nowhere to be found. Don't worry, however: he won't complain upon finding us here".

While saying those words, Vigdis tried to hide her worries and reassure Agda with a forced smile. In order to prevent further questions regarding their whereabouts, the warrior thought of a different topic of conversation. Much to her annoyance, she was soon distracted by Agda's renewed attempts at speaking.

"How... after... left..."

When Agda coughed, the other woman rolled her eyes - despite her desperate conditions, the young mage seemed very keen on chatting. For a detached warrior like Vigdis, that behavior was utterly shocking.

When Agda spoke again, her savior snorted. The girl probably wanted to find out more about the events that had taken place after her escape from Whiterun; yet, the elder woman didn't feel like facing that topic. When confronted with the healer's new attempts at speaking, however, Vigdis sighed and gave in to her request - after all, she thought, her tale would cause Agda to stop talking and would also allow her to take her mind off the pain.

"I hate remembering the days after I left Steinarius", the warrior admitted with a grimace. As soon as Vigdis spoke, Agda looked at her with renewed interest. Slightly irritated by that fact, the warrior scoffed and took place by her bedside. "I hate it because back then I felt sorry for betraying my husband and his trust, for rejecting his love, for breaking his heart and shattering his life. Luckily enough, my stubborness and my pride prevented me from changing my mind on the matter. As a consequence, after moving to the Ratway I never looked back".

Agda visibly frowned at the mention of that location.

"Ratway... Thieves..."

"The Ratway is the seat of the Thieves Guild, you're right", Vigdis confirmed.

"You... "

"I still live there, yes", Vigdis nodded. "I'm a thief myself now".

When Agda made to comment on that unexpected news, Vigdis immediately stopped her with a gesture.

"I know what you're going to ask me: you're wondering why a Companion like me forgot her honor and started living as a thief", the woman said. "The explanation is actually very simple. Unlike Steinarius and some other Companions, I had a very troubled childhood - my parents weren't exactly the nicest people in the world and led very poor lives. As a consequence, I was never squeamish when it came to stealing. Therefore, when my friend Sapphire told me she was a thief and offered me shelter in the Ratway, I accepted her help without complaining".

When Vigdis mentioned her job as a thief, Agda couldn't help thinking of Adaeze. Perhaps her friend had come across Sapphire and the black-eyed woman during her time in Riften.

"After my escape from Whiterun, I spent a few weeks crying over the end of my relationship with Steinarius", Vigdis recalled while ignoring the healer's thoughts. "Many miles away from me, my husband was doing the same in Breezehome.

"After a month of utter despair, Steinarius grabbed his sword and started looking for me all over the country. One day he even turned up at the _Ragged Flagon_ and enquired with my fellow thieves about the people who lived in the Ratway. Sapphire didn't tell me about it, just like my new colleagues didn't tell Steinarius that he'd finally reached my hiding place. When I eventually found out about his visit, I deeply wished I could go back in time, throw myself at my husband's feet and ask him to forgive me for everything I'd done. Then, however, I realized that Sapphire and the others had acted in the best possible way: when you need to sever a limb, one clean cut made by a determined surgeon is much better than a series of smaller ones at the hands of a hesitant healer".

Agda frowned at the unpleasant comparison, but didn't say anything.

"When I was done crying my eyes out at my choice of leaving Steinarius, I started making myself useful for my new colleagues", Vigdis continued. "I began by brewing potions for the members of the Guild and by improving my lockpicking skills. I was very good at that - so good that I soon started training the whelps who wanted to become better burglars. Yet, despite my new life in the Ratway, a few months after my escape I still couldn't forget Steinarius. Luckily enough, one day Sapphire made me realize that, by leaving him, I'd taken the best decision of my life.

"Almost one year after I left Whiterun, my best friend led me to an Imperial Camp in the Pale. I didn't know why Sapphire brought me there and I was actually quite angry because of that unexpected journey. Then, however, I understood.

"While my best friend and I were hiding behind some trees, a group of Stormcloaks attacked the camp - and that's when I saw Steinarius come out of a tent, unsheath his sword and take the lead against his enemies. Over those few minutes I watched in awe as my husband killed his adversaries, as he waltzed through their weapons, as the local Legate eventually turned to look at him and complimented him on his skills - and a moment later, when a soldier said something funny about that fight, Steinarius smiled. It was a tiny smile that was gone in a heartbeat, but to me it was like the first ray of sun after a long storm. It meant that Steinarius was slowly getting over our life together and that he'd finally resumed doing what he loved the most: fighting and defending the weak and the oppressed. At least, that's what he believed he was doing by working for the Legion".

When Agda noticed the mocking expression on Vigdis' face, she realized that her savior probably shared Ulfric's view on the Civil War. Before she could voice her surprise, however, the thief resumed speaking.

"Once I discovered that Steinarius had joined the Legion, I felt even more determined to build myself a new life. In few months time I got so good at lockpicking that I started accepting burglary jobs all over Skyrim; nonetheless, there was one last thing that prevented me from becoming an accomplished thief: I hated stealing from the poor. As a consequence, I became a thief-adventurer - it means that, rather than sneaking into houses and taking away all the valuables I can find, I spend my days looking for hidden treasures inside old Nordic ruins. My friends say that one day I'll get killed by a draugr, but the truth is, I love the freedom my job allows me. Moreover, my man thinks that I'm incredibly good at retrieving lost items for the Guild".

Agda was shocked by that last sentence.

"Man... you..."

"I have a new man, yes", Vigdis said with a mischievous grin. "His name is Mercer Frey and he's the leader of the Thieves Guild. On a side note, he's also the owner of Chillrend".

As she heard the name of Vigdis' new man, Agda vaguely recalled a conversation between Adaeze and Vipir. The carriage-driver had mentioned his grumpy Guildmaster, whereas Adaeze had been shocked by the discovery that that gruff Breton had a partner. _Lady Frey_ , she'd jokingly called that mysterious woman.

"My... Redguard..."

"Adaeze has never met me", Vigdis broke Agda off. The warrior had the useful ability of guessing whatever the girl wanted to say long before she was done speaking. "As you can imagine, my job requires me to spend most of my time outside Riften - and even when I'm in the city, I prefer sleeping in my man's manor rather than in the Ratway. That's why your friend doesn't know anything about me: just like my man, I'm not keen on blending in with the rest of the Guild".

Now that Vigdis had told her a lot about her life, Agda's curiosity was almost sated. Nonetheless, the girl still had a few questions: she namely wanted to discover why Vigdis seemed to know so much about her; moreover, she wanted to know why that mysterious woman had revealed her so many things about her life.

"As you may imagine, my job allows me a very important thing", Vigdis said when Agda tried to voice her first question. "Thanks to my journeys, I can namely keep an eye on Steinarius - after all, even if I have a new life, I still do care for that clumsy Imperial".

When she noticed Agda's crossed expression, Vigdis sighed.

"I know that spying isn't a respected activity here in Skyrim, but I must admit that it did help me in my choice of starting a relationship with a new man", she said in reply to Agda's outraged expression. "You namely must know that I started sleeping with Mercer only after Steinarius finally recovered part of his cheerfulness and his chattiness. That happened about a year and a half ago: back then my husband was a Captain of the Legion, had regained some of his happiness, had even started getting over the tragedies of his past. Unfortunately, that's when the dragons came along.

"As soon as I discovered that Steinarius had been in Helgen the day of the dragon attack, I panicked. I looked for him all across Skyrim, then I found him in an Imperial camp near Karthwasten - and once I got there, I saw him slay a dragon and absorb its soul.

"Upon realizing how distressed Steinarius looked after that kill, I almost made the mistake of talking to him. Luckily enough, I stopped shortly before entering his tent - the poor thing was already shocked enoug by his fate as the Dragonborn; as a consequence, had I spoken to him in that situation, I would have probably given the finishing blow to his mental health. Nonetheless, ever since then I kept a much closer eye on Steinarius: he's a good man and I don't want an overgrown lizard to kill him. That's why over the previous year I often followed him around".

When Vigdis stopped talking, Agda frowned. How could that thief spy on Steinarius without being detected by his werewolf senses?

"As you might have noticed, I do have a talent for potions", Vigdis said when the healer posed her that question. The woman's face was lit by a proud smirk. "Therefore, over the course of time I created a special vial that that can hide my scent from enemies and former lovers alike. That's why Steinarius never noticed my spying activities".

Agda was very impressed by that discovery. Not only could Vigdis brew very strong healing potions - she could also create special draughts for different uses. The healer realized that the former Companion definitely knew her way around a mortar.

"While spying on Steinarius, I noticed that he spent a lot of time in Riverwood", Vigdis said, thus resuming her tale and snapping Agda out of her thoughts. "Around New Life Festival, I realized the reason why he did that - he fancied you a lot, Agda.

"That discovery made me incredibly jealous for a while; yet, after enquiring about you with the help of a few friends who turned up in your tavern as simple customers, I was told that you were a good girl - and when Steinarius was injured by a vampire, I had a proof of that myself. While my husband was unconscious, I namely walked into _the Sleeping Giant_ twice; nonetheless, I never saw you, Agda - or, better, I never saw you _awake_ : every time I got into your inn, you were sleeping after spending your nights by Steinarius' side.

"When I discovered that you and my husband had finally become a couple, I felt free for the first time in years. As a consequence, I stopped checking on him and simply asked my colleagues to keep an eye on the two of you. Sadly enough, a few months ago I received the news of your breakup. I was actually sorry for that: I didn't expect Steinarius to give up his happiness and run away from you - after all, you two really did look like a perfect couple".

Agda was irritated by the slight irony in Vigdis' words. When the woman stopped talking, the mage thought of the many things she wanted to say to her. She wanted to tell Vigdis that it was her fault if the Dragonborn couldn't find happiness in another woman, she even wanted to tell her that Steinarius had left her because his past was still undermining his future. Surprisingly enough, the warrior was already well aware of that.

"I know that Steinarius' past probably played a huge part in your breakup, and believe me when I say that I'm very sorry for that", she unexpectedly said. "I deeply wish he could finally forget me, but it looks like he's not ready to take that step - and sadly enough, there's nothing I can do to make him change his mind".

There was a short moment of silence during which Vigdis heavily sighed.

"After you left Skyrim, I temporarily forgot about you - and given that Steinarius was in Solstheim, back then I simply focused on my job", she confessed. "Nonetheless, a few weeks ago my colleague Vipir sent me a note regarding his business as a carriage driver in Dawnstar - and on the list of his latest passengers there was also your name, Agda.

"As soon as I discovered that you were about to join the College of Winterhold, I couldn't hold back my curiosity anymore: I'd never talked to you before and I thought it would be nice to see you from up-close. That's why I turned up in Winterhold with a job for Turrianus, and that's why I waited in that frozen courtyard until you finally showed up. Luckily for you, tonight I was in Winterhold again".

Agda made to ask her a question, but Vigdis stopped her with a gesture. If the young mage was so chatty even in that situation,the other woman dreaded to imagine how much she spoke when she was perfectly fine.

"The members of the Thieves Guild have always used the Midden to get inside the College of Winterhold", Vigdis said after correctly guessing what Agda was about to ask her. "Tonight, when I walked into that dungeon to pay a visit to Enthir and finally retrieve Chillrend, I immediately realized that someone was in there too. Unfortunately, it was already too late: Ancano had just finished torturing you and was carrying you to the Sea of Ghosts. As soon as he dumped your body in the water, I dived into the sea and saved you from death".

"Why? And why... telling me... all of this?"

For the first time since Agda had met her, Vigdis produced a warm, sincere smile that made her eyes sparkle with a tingle of melancholy.

"Because you remind me of myself, Agda - and because, as I already told you, I still care for Steinarius", she simply said. "That man has already suffered a lot throughout his life and, had a Thalmor tortured you to death, he would have done something stupid to avenge you. Moreover, Agda, I must admit that you suit my husband much more than I ever did: Steinarius needs someone calm and soothing, someone who can make him feel loved and protected, someone he can love and protect in return - and you perfectly fit the description. As a consequence, I think that you're the only one who can save Steinarius from himself. Also, you're the only one who can save him from his past".

When Vigdis got up from her chair, Agda remained silent. While thinking about everything the warrior had told her, she frowned: if Vigdis really wanted Steinarius to forget his past, why didn't she just talk to him and reveal him that she'd found happiness in another man?

When Agda tried to voice that question, Vigdis rolled her eyes. Her already thin patience had finally worn out.

"You never shut up, don't you?", she dramatically sighed. "Now I understand why your torturer was so angry at you: you're chatty with everyone but him".

Those words finally caused Agda to fall into a long silence. At the same time, however, they reminded her of the reason why she was so sore and tired and bruised. The girl briefly recalled Ancano's evil grin, his slaps, the way he'd carved a few deep scars in the soft skin of her face; at last, Agda remembered why she'd ventured into the Midden in the first place - and together with that, the mage remembered the task the Augur of Dunlain had given her and the danger Winterhold was running. As soon as she regained those memories, Agda shivered in distress: between her injuries and the shock caused by her meeting with Vigdis, she had completely forgotten her vital role for the survival of the College.

"Winterhold", Agda said as soon as she recalled the Augur's warning about a terrible danger threatening the city. "Archmage... I need... talk..."

When Agda started coughing and visibly paled, Vigdis was quick to hush her and check her temperature. Frowning, she noticed that the mage was now burning with fever. It looked like her cold bath in the Sea of Ghosts was finally taking its toll; also, it seemed that the girl's wounds were getting infected, a fact that the experienced warrior blamed on the special enchantments sported by Ancano's torture devices.

"Agda, right now you need to rest", Vigdis said in a clumsy attempt to soothe the girl. "Close your eyes and try to get some sleep: I promise it will make you feel better. Also, it will you help with your fever".

When Agda shook her head in distress, Vigdis laid a hand on her shoulder, then forced her to settle deeper into her mattress.

"You've been awake for a while, therefore it's high time you went back to sleeping", the warrior insisted as she took a potion from one of the seemingly endless pockets in her armor.. "And this vial will help you do just that".

Before Agda could protest, Vigdis was already feeding her a calming potion by forcing it into her mouth. By the time the girl realized what was going on, Oblivion had claimed her for what felt like the thousandth time in the previous few hours.

* * *

It was shortly past dawn and Vigdis was pacing up and down Agda's room in Frostflow Lighthouse. Things had changed abruptly over the previous two hours: the woman had heard some unsettling noises coming from the cellar and had immediately realized that the Falmer from the nearby den were looking for new preys. Judging from the sounds Vigdis' heightened senses were detecting, with them there were also a few chauri. Vigdis was strong and brave, but she couldn't take on too many of those terrible insects at once; therefore, she and Agda needed to find a safer shelter.

Speaking of Agda, her conditions had worsened over the previous minutes: her fever had got higher, whereas the potions that were keeping her vital signs in check had seemingly lost effect. Also, some of her wounds had started bleeding despite the stitches. Vigdis didn't know what to do about it, but was perfectly aware of one thing: Falmer had a very good sense of smell, therefore they were likely to notice the presence of an injured human in the upper rooms of the lighthouse - and as soon as they did, they were going to destroy the traps and the doors that until then had managed to block them in the cellar. No, Vigdis realized with a shiver: if she wanted Agda to survive, she needed to get her out of that wretched place.

Unsheating her sword, the thief carefully made her way to the door of the lighthouse. A violent snowstorm was raging outside, whereas the noises in the cellar had become louder. When Vigdis noticed that last detail, she realized that she needed to leave despite the bad weather. Also, she needed to decide where to go next.

Winterhold was full of mages, but it wasn't an available option for Agda - had she returned there, Ancano would have immediately given her the finishing blow. Given the circumstances, there was only one place where Vigdis could carry Agda, and that place was Dawnstar. Luckily enough, that cold town hosted an experienced priest of Mara who was said to be among the best healers of Skyrim.

As soon as she chose their next destination, Vigdis walked up to Agda and covered her body in a heavy cloak. The girl whimpered at the sudden warmth, but didn't wake up. That fact only increased the thief's worries: Agda' sleep now looked like a deep form of unconsciousness.

Realizing that there was no time to lose, Vigdis took a hazardous decision: in order to reach Dawnstar as early as possible, she chose to rely on her beast form.

* * *

Agda felt as though she was experiencing a very vivid dream. A black werewolf was carrying her bridal-style across the snowy landscape of the Pale, whereas a violent storm was raging around her. The girl constantly felt on the brink of fainting and was vaguely aware of the blood soaking the cloak that covered her sore body. Every time the werewolf moved too fast, Agda let out a weak whimper.

The girl didn't know how many times she lost consciousness during her journey; she only knew that, after what felt like a lifetime, the werewolf that was carrying her reached an old crumbling building. The beast gently lowered her onto the ground, then slain the few trolls that were roaming nearby.

Agda almost chuckled at the easiness with which her savior had dispatched those creatures. When she remembered about the identity of her werewolf helper, she smiled: she could finally see why Steinarius had fallen for such a brave and strong woman like Vigdis.

* * *

Vigdis frowned in confusion. During her journey towards Dawnstar she'd feared many things - she'd feared for someone to come across her while she was travelling in her beast form, she'd feared for the snow to deceit her orientation skills, she'd feared for Agda to die in her arms. Yet, she'd never feared to come across Steinarius.

Judging from the latest news she'd received from the her spies, the Dragonborn was still in Solstheim. Therefore, when she smelled his scent all over the courtyard of Nightcaller Temple, Vigdis couldn't help but frown: it looked like Steinarius had made it home without her friends even realizing it.

Sadly enough, that night Vigdis hadn't taken the usual potion that allowed her to hide her scent from everyone and everything around her; as a consequence, if Steinarius were still nearby, he was very likely to realize that she'd been in the courtyard of Nightcaller Temple. After everything Vigdis had done to resume a normal life and to help the Imperial get a hold of himself, she simply couldn't allow herself to accidentally bump into him; also, she couldn't allow Agda to wake up and tell him about their conversation from that night.

Willing to keep her secret safe, Vigdis took a painful decision: although she liked Agda and wanted to help her with her wounds, she chose to abandon the girl and give her one of the nastiest potions she'd ever created.

* * *

When Agda opened her eyes, the werewolf that had carried her until then had just shifted into a human form.

Vigdis approached the injured girl and carried her to the entrance of the crumbling building. Her black eyes had a coldness Agda had never seen before.

Rather than knocking on the door of the old fort, Vigdis knelt down next to the young mage and forced her mouth open. Agda obliged, but wondered why the thief was giving her a healing potion in that snowy and cold courtyard. A second later, however, everything became clear.

"I can't allow you to reveal my secrets to anyone, Agda", Vigdis frowned. The healer didn't fail to notice a flicker of regret in her dark irises. "I wish things could go in another way, believe me, but I'm forced to erase your memory, at least as far as the last few hours of your life are concerned. I'm sorry girl, I really am".

Agda tried to squirm when Vigdis poured a sour potion into her mouth, but the thief's grip on her jaw was unbelievably strong, whereas the mage's body was too sore and weak to escape.

As the black-eyed woman gave her one last caress and disappeared after knocking on the door of Nightcaller Temple, Agda succumbed once again to darkness. She had no idea that she'd just lost all her memories regarding the way Ancano had tortured her, the way Vigdis had saved her from death, the way the Augur of Dunlain had asked her to save Winterhold from disaster.


	42. Chasing ghosts

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I deeply thank all my readers for sticking around this story. In particular, on this occasion** **I'd like to send a special _thank you_ to jfrost22792 for their review to chapter 15. I completely agree with you: Adaeze had it coming when she chose to sleep with Sven rather than with Hadvar! **

**The other shout-outs of the week go to Valtieri, msyendor and Elspeth for their opinions about chapter 41. Since that instalment caused a lot of questions, I'd like to try and answer them.**

 **As far as Vigdis' personality is concerned, from your reviews I could see that Steinarius' former fiancée comes across as a rather dislikable person. Although it may sound weird, I was really happy about it:** **I namely wanted to depict Vigdis like a common woman who has made a lot of mistakes, not like one of those flawless heroes who are ready to die for the sake of others.**

 **While talking about Vigdis, I must confess that in my mind I always compare her to a wild wolf with very strong primal instincts -** **hence her impulsive and contradictory personality.** **A sample of that? As Valtieri underlined, that woman claims that she's recently built herself a new life, but is unable to stay away from Steinarius for more than a month.**

 **As well as being a very confused person, Vigdis does have a tendency for taking drastic decisions - after all, she's the one who eloped from Whiterun rather than telling her man something on the line of "Hey, I think our relationship isn't healthy anymore; mind if we take a break?"**

 **While talking about Vigdis' personality, I also need to mention her thoughts about the Civil War.** **As Valtieri correctly guessed, in my head-canon that woman doesn't team up with any faction; she is namely a very disenchanted person with a tendency to criticize everyone who fights for something they believe in.**

 **As far as Vigdis' decision to partially erase Agda's mind is concerned, from your reviews I could see that it caused very different reactions: some readers were happy about it (Elspeth), some were utterly enraged (msyendor), others couldn't understand the reason for such a drastic measure (Valtieri).** **As far as the latter point is concerned, in my imagination** **Vigdis has lots of difficulties in trusting people. In the end, it was this fact that led her** **to erase Agda's memory rather than risk Steinarius to find out about their meeting. At the same time, however, I want to underline that Vigdis believed her decision to be an act of generosity towards a girl who was likely to be traumatized for life by the tortures she'd endured.** **Unfortunately** **,** **the road to hell is paved with good intentions - and just like** **msyendor suspected, Vigdis' potion will cause Agda to suffer from her damaged memory much more than from her physical injuries.**

 **Before I end this huge author's note, I'd like to answer** **Valtieri's interesting question about the Jagged Crown quest. I think that on that occasion the end justifies the means - after all, Galmar and Ulfric believed they could help hundreds of Nords by robbing just one old grave; also, Nords tend to believe in facts rather than in ideas, and that should help the Stormcloaks forget about the way their leader got hold of that crown. This is just my opinion - if anyone else wants to express theirs, I'll be glad to listen.**

 **After this long introduction, it's time we finally got down to business. This update provides us with a very important reunion; also, it sets the premise for the next few chapters.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

As a loud snore escaped Erandur's mouth, Steinarius Crepusculus cursed. The Imperial thought he'd given up that habit in Solstheim, but he'd been wrong: upon returning to Skyrim, his potty mouth had immediately come back to him.

To say the truth, right after reaching his country the Dragonborn had been too weak to speak, let alone curse. Steinarius hated ships and was thankful that he'd chosen to stop in Dawnstar rather than sail all the way from Solstheim to Windhelm. The crew of the _Northern Maiden_ were thankful for that too, actually: ever since a thunderstorm had hit their ship halfway through their journey, their only passenger had spent most of the time in his room, feeling sick and coughing up his soul once every ten minutes. At a certain point, a very pale Dragonborn had even asked whether it was possible to die of sea sickness. The men of the crew had chuckled at his naivete, but they'd all been forced to admit that Steinarius looked really bad after his first two days at sea - and he'd looked even worse upon his arrival in Dawnstar.

Gjalund usually wasn't one to waste time for his passengers. Yet, when his ship had reached Dawnstar on the previous evening, he'd taken it upon himself to escort Steinarius to the local inn.

When the bulky Nord had helped him out of his bed, Steinarius had seemed on the verge of fainting; then, after saying some slurred sentences about his hatred for ships, the Imperial had staggered towards the docks of Dawnstar. As soon as he'd reached his goal, Steinarius had fallen on his knees and tried to kiss the snowy land of Skyrim. Luckily enough, Gjalund had stopped him before the Dragonborn could cover himself in ridiculousness.

Ironically enough, facing the short distance between the docks of Dawnstar and _Windpeak Inn_ had been one of the worst experiences in Steinarius' life. The Imperial remembered Gjalund insulting him for being unable to support his own weight, then he remembered throwing up on the man's boots; next thing the Dragonborn knew, he was in a bed with a very strong headache.

 _I had to take you out_ , Gjalund had admitted when confronted with Steinarius' confused eyes. _You weren't cooperating at all. By the way, the healer will be in few seconds_.

Steinarius had tensed at the mention of a healer. As a warrior, he was used to getting stitched up and cured very often; yet, that didn't mean he enjoyed it. When Erandur had made his appearance on the threshold of his tavern room, however, the Dragonborn had sighed in relief - the Dunmer wasn't his favourite person in the world, but he was someone Steinarius trusted.

The Dragonborn spent the first night after his return to Skyrim in Nightcaller Temple; after feeling slightly better thanks to Erandur' spells, Steinarius had namely decided to follow the priest to his den. The Imperial had immediately fallen asleep, but shortly after midnight he had been awoken by Rustleif's powerful knocks on the door to the building.

 _Help me!_ , the blacksmith of Dawnstar had screamed. _My son has a weird rash on his back! You must save him!_

Erandur had mumbled something about over-apprehensive parents, then he'd left for Dawnstar. Steinarius, on the other hand, had simply turned his back to Rustleif and his problems: luckily enough, curing infants was one of the few things people still hadn't required him to do.

After Erandur's departure from the temple, Steinarius had succumbed to sleepiness once again. Considering his newly found health, the Imperial was hoping to enjoy a good night rest before reaching the Greybeards and asking them for information about the Dragonrend shout. Also, he was planning to ask Erandur whether he was interested in joining the Blades. Unfortunately, Steinarius' projects were destroyed after his kind host returned to Nightcaller Temple and fell asleep on a bed in the same room as the Imperial. Erandur' snores were namely making it impossible for the Dragonborn to get back to sleeping.

Sighing, Steinarius looked at the ceiling. His Dunmer helper had got back to their room half an hour earlier and had immediately started snoring as loud as a cave bear. The Dragonborn usually didn't have problems with people who snored; Erandur, however, made him jolt awake every time he exhaled in his sleep. Whenever the Dunmer did that, it namely sounded as though the Red Mountain had moved somewhere between his throat and his nose.

When another one of those ungodly sounds reached his ears, Steinarius muttered another curse and sat upright on his bed. Frowning, the Imperial tried to force Erandur to change position, he tried to close his mouth, he even prevented the air from entering his nostrils by covering the priest's face with his hands; nonetheless, all those efforts were useless. Erandur seemed unable to wake up - but most of all, he seemed completely unable to stop snoring.

Rolling his eyes, Steinarius stood up and decided to find himself a new resting place. That plan, however, was completely unsuccessful: thanks to his heightened senses, the Imperial could hear Erandur' snores in every single part of Nightcaller Temple. Sighing in defeat, the man eventually chose to venture into Dawnstar - since he was perfectly awake, Steinarius was keen on getting himself a good breakfast and find a courier who could bring most of his luggage to Solitude.

* * *

As soon as he entered the only tavern of Dawnstar, Steinarius was abruptly reminded of the downsides of being the Dragonborn. By the time he reached the counter of the inn, at least three people had namely walked up to him and asked him for help. All of a sudden, the Imperial felt a sharp nostalgia for his quiet life back in Solstheim.

Stifling a couple of tired yawns, Steinarius listened to the requests from his many admirers. By the time the sun appeared in the sky, a sailor had already asked him to find some weird alchemy ingredients, whereas an old woman had complained to him about her new neighbour and his string of lovers. A miner instead ranted at length about his former wife. When Steinarius asked him what he was supposed to do about that, the man not-that-subtly suggested the Dragonborn shouted poor Beitild off a nearby cliff. Taken aback by that request, Steinarius wondered how someone could mistake him for a member of the Dark Brotherhood.

While the Imperial was busy explaining to Leigelf that no, he wasn't available for killing former wives, a very worried Rustleif made his appearance inside _Windpeak Inn_. The Dragonborn knew the local blacksmith pretty well - when he'd first joined the Legion, Steinarius had namely been asked to fight the Stormcloaks in the Pale. Since his campsite was very close to Dawnstar, the Imperial would often visit Rustleif' shop in order to have his weapons repaired or improved. As a consequence, when he saw him that morning, Steinarius greeted the blacksmith with a very warm smile.

"I heard that you've recently become a father", the Dragonborn told Rustleif after ordering some food and finally telling his beseechers to leave him alone. "I hope everything's fine with you and Seren. I know that Erandur was at your place tonight".

"Seren and I are fine, thanks for asking", Rustleif replied with a proud smile. "Our little Kolas is fine too, actually. He's our first son, so we worry a lot about him. Poor Erandur does his best to reassure us, but we often get scared at the drop of a hat".

Steinarius bitterly smiled at the memories those words brought up. He briefly remembered tormenting Danice Pure-Spring every time Eidan did something weird or surprising, then he locked those thoughts in the usual, neglected corner of his mind. It was very early in the morning, so the Dragonborn had no intention of spending the rest of the day thinking about his late son; after all, those thoughts couldn't bring Eidan back: as a matter of fact, they only succeeded in causing Steinarius to get drunk or burst into tears.

When the Dragonborn didn't say anything in reply to his words, Rustleif cleared his throat. All of a sudden, the blacksmith looked very embarrassed.

"Listen Steinarius, I was wondering... I know that you're a busy man, but there's something I wanted to ask you. Seren would love to raise our son in the Redguard way and knows a good book about how her people educate their children. Unfortunately, it seems that there are very few copies of it left. I'd be very happy if you could retrieve one of those rare tomes on my behalf - if you're not too busy, of course".

Confronted with Rustleif' sheepish request, Steinarius couldn't stifle a bitter chuckle. He'd really forgotten how it felt to live in Skyrim: in that damned place, no one ever approached you unless they wanted to ask you a favor - and sadly enough, that was particularly true if you had the misfortune of being the feared Dragonborn of legends.

"I already told you about that book yesterday evening, but you probably weren't listening", Rustleif added. The blacksmith had been confused by the way Steinarius was staring into the void rather than accepting to retrieve that rare tome on his behalf. "To tell the truth, back then you looked a bit greenish and had troubles walking. Actually, you still look a bit pale. Also, that blackish welt on your face is quite scary. Have you by chance..."

Steinarius sighed at that neat description of his adventures from the previous evening, then gestured for Rustleif to stop talking.

"I didn't wrestle with a giant squid", he explained while thinking of the scar Hermaeus Mora had left on his face. "It was a Daedra, actually".

As soon as he heard those words, Rustleif pulled a terrified face. Amused by his shocked expression, Steinarius stood up from his chair before the blacksmith could ask him for explanations.

"As for that book, consider it done", the Imperial announced. "I'll be back by midday".

And with those words, the Dragonborn left the comforts of _Windpeak Inn_ and faced the first of the many tasks that still awaited him in Skyrim.

* * *

Steinarius was very tired as he made his way to the hill where Nightcaller Temple stood. The sky was clear, but the wind was causing his cloak to float behind him. In that situation the Imperial felt particularly ridiculous; also, he felt particularly annoyed every time he thought of the problems he'd encountered while retrieving that cursed book on Rustleif's behalf. Not only had Steinarius been forced to venture into a very nasty Nordic ruin - on his way back to Dawnstar, the Dragonborn had also slipped on the iced shore of the ocean and ended up taking an undesired bath in the Sea of Ghosts. Given that his hair were still damp, Steinarius felt on the verge of coming down with a flu; moreover, he was angry because Rustleif had paid him just half of the agreed price - after all, the blacksmith hadn't expected his precious book to dive in the ocean together with its clumsy rescuer.

While walking towards Erandur's den, Steinarius hoped he could get himself a warm bath and finally change into some dry clothes. As he eventually reached his destination, however, the man stopped dead in his tracks and immediately forgot about his wishes. The trolls that usually roamed the courtyard of Nightcaller Temple were dead, a fact that deeply surprised him; moreover, the Imperial was taken aback by the foul smell of human blood that was reigning in that area. Thanks to his heightened senses, Steinarius realized that a pool of that substance had stained the steps outside the entrance of the temple. A moment later, the Dragonborn noticed a scent he hadn't smelled in more than three years - a scent that reminded him of the meadows around Whiterun, of the honey farms outside Riften, of the wild flowers near Karthwasten.

Feeling as though his heart had just done a couple somersaults in his chest, Steinarius realized that he'd just smelled Vigdis' unmistakable scent.

* * *

Steinarius stormed into Nightcaller Temple like a fury. His heightened senses immediately noticed that Vigdis' scent was much fainter there, whereas the smell of blood was disgustingly strong.

Before the Imperial could head for the inner rooms of the building, a very nervous Erandur appeared in the main hall.

"Thanks Mara you're here!", the usually calm priest cried out. "I need your help, child: you must go to Frida at _The Mortar and Pestle_ and ask her to bring me all the healing potions she has in her shop. Also, tell her to come here at once. You won't believe what happened this morning!"

Steinarius' eyes widened in a weird mixture of confusion and fear and anxiety.

"You found someone on the steps of the temple, right?", he asked, his voice full of nervousness. "It was a woman, wasn't it?"

When Erandur pulled a surprised face and nodded, Steinarius felt on the brink of fainting.

"She's a warrior, isn't she?", he asked before the priest could say anything. "She's got a tall figure, dark hair, black eyes. Moreover, she's very pale. Is that right? _Is that right?_ "

Erandur shook his head, causing Steinarius to feel utterly disappointed.

"The poor thing is very pale, but doesn't look like a warrior at all", the priest explained while furrowing his brow in confusion. "In addition, she isn't particularly tall and has got dark blond hair - and even if you didn't ask, she isn't doing well at all".

Steinarius felt as though his chest had just been pierced by a lethally sharp sword. At that moment the Imperial was overwhelmed by a hurricane of feelings: disappointment at Erandur's words, confusion at the way his senses had betrayed him, pity for that mysterious stranger. At last, the Dragonborn felt angry at himself: he had returned to Skyrim less than twenty-four hours earlier, but he was already allowing his past to undermine his future.

* * *

Spurred by Erandur's conceited requests, Steinarius made his way back to Dawnstar and led a very grumpy Frida to Nightcaller Temple. Rather than following the alchemist inside the building, however, the Imperial spent some more time in the courtyard, where Vigdis' scent was at its strongest. Sighing, Steinarius recalled the many nights he'd spent with that broody woman; he remembered the way her hair tickled his nose every time she was asleep in his arms, he remembered the pleasant contrast her pale skin created with his tanned hands, he remembered the feeling of her soft lips pressed against his chapped ones. Eventually, the man remembered how Vigdis' scent used to engulf him whenever he laid down on their huge bed in Breezehome. Steinarius adored that sweet smell and would recognize it amongst thousands of others; as a consequence, there was no way his senses could deceit him.

With a frown, the Imperial recalled that Vigdis' trace was particularly strong every time she went hunting in her werewolf form. Fueled by that memory, the man studied the way the frost trolls near Nightcaller Temple had been dispatched. Much to his surprise, he discovered that the creatures had been slaughtered by an animal with unbelievable strength - and all their wounds seemed to point in the direction of a werewolf.

Confused by that realization, for a long moment the Dragonborn didn't know what to do. Over the previous three years he'd often had the feeling of being followed by someone who had the very same scent as Vigdis, but all of his enquiries had led to nothing. This time, however, Steinarius was sure that he was on the right track. After all, his senses were conveying very clear information - and said information warned him that Vigdis was alive and had probably been nearby less than half a day earlier.

At last Steinarius understood that, if he wanted to be at peace with himself, he needed to follow Vigdis' scent. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done: Vigdis had seemingly worked hard in order to leave her smell all over the courtyard of Nightcaller Temple, thus making it impossible for an eventual chaser to realize which direction she'd gone after reaching the building. Annoyed by that discovery, Steinarius decided to follow the clearest of the traces he could smell at that moment.

* * *

As he reached a very old lighthouse, Steinarius frowned. His heightened senses told him that Vigdis had been there, but the man didn't know whether the woman was still lingering inside the building. That situation made Steinarius really uncomfortable: a part of him wished he could come across his former fiancée, kiss her, tell her how much he'd missed her over the previous three years; the other part of him, instead, deeply feared that possible reunion.

 _What if Vigdis has forgotten me and found herself another man? What if I'm chasing a ghost for the umpteenth time in the last three years? But most of all, what if the Divines have allowed me to track her scent only to discover that Vigdis is dead?_

At that moment, those were only few of the questions that haunted Steinarius' mind. Eventually, however, the man defeated his fears and decided to enter Frostflow Lighthouse - he'd come all the way from Dawnstar and had no intention of backing down just then.

When he first walked inside the building, Steinarius was taken aback by the lifeless atmosphere of the main hall. Moreover, the man realized that Vigdis' scent was even stronger inside the lighthouse, meaning that the woman had probably spent a lot of time there; sadly enough, the same went for the blood the Imperial had already noticed in Nightcaller Temple. Upon that discovery, Steinarius feared for the woman to have been badly hurt by some mysterious creature.

Before the Dragonborn could properly work on that theory, a weird noise caught his attention. As he turned his head, Steinarius barely dodged the violent attack of a chaurus. When another insect appeared, the Imperial did something he hadn't done in a while: he relied on his beast form.

As he shifted into a werewolf and easily dispatched the two creatures, Steinarius noticed some pools of blood leading to the cellar of the lighthouse. At that point, he took an important decision: he wasn't going to leave that place until he discovered what had happened to Vigdis and to the other people who once lived inside that building.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Steinarius finally returned to Nightcaller Temple. The Imperial was angry: he was angry at the way a few Falmer had killed the inhabitants of Frostflow Lighthouse, at the way Habd had ignored the worries of his family, at the way two innocent children had suffered a horrible death in the safety of their own house. But most of all, Steinarius selfishly admitted, he was angry at himself for hoping that Vigdis was alive, that she was close to him, that she still cared for him. That woman had left him and had never come back - and it was high time he finally accepted reality.

As he reached the courtyard of Nightcaller Temple, Steinarius happened to think of the mysterious girl Erandur had found on the steps of his house. If the smell of blood around the building meant anything, the poor thing had probably been in desperate conditions upon her arrival in that place. Frowning, Steinarius remember about Arondil, a necromancer who'd become famous for luring innocent girls into a Nordic ruin near Dawnstar and turning them into his own slaves. The Dragonborn deeply hoped no one had copied that idea.

As he pushed open the door to Nightcaller Temple, Steinarius was welcomed by Erandur and Frida. The two old healers were sitting in silence at a table in the main hall. If Frida's presence in the building meant anything, the girl Erandur had found was in need of very strong and complicated potions.

"We could have used your help today", Erandur tiredly said when Steinarius took place beside him and asked how the mysterious girl was doing. "The poor child has suffered from very serious injuries. Had you been here, we would have asked you to get to Winterhold and buy some healing potions from the College".

"I was out on a quest", Steinarius lied while fighting against a strong feeling of guilt at the pit of his stomach. "Had I known you needed me, I would have stayed here. By the way, I could get to Winterhold now: I've been told there are quite a few good healers around there".

"The healers from the College are good, but they hate leaving their warm and comfortable seat", Erandur sighed. "Also, I don't think they can do much for our poor child".

"Are her conditions that desperate?"

Erandur slightly nodded, whereas Frida let out a long sigh.

"By the time that poor child got here, someone had already tended to her injuries", the priest revealed. "Unfortunately, many of her wounds later got infected. Right now that unlucky girl has a very high fever and is still losing blood. Her life is in great danger and she may not make it to tomorrow".

"But what happened to her?", Steinarius asked, pity well evident in his voice. "Was she attacked by a troll?"

"Actually, we think she's been tortured: she has a few broken bones and angry red welts all over her body. Moreover, someone disfigured her with an enchanted dagger. The poor child definitely went through a lot before finding shelter in this place".

Steinarius furrowed his brow. He was well acquainted with the way the Thalmor treated their prisoners and he believed the stranger's injuries to point in their direction. Before accusing the members of the Dominion, however, Steinarius wanted to find out more about the unlucky girl who had recently turned up on the steps of Nightcaller Temple.

"Does the stranger look like a Stormcloak?"

Steinarius' question was welcomed by a clear answer on Frida's part.

"That girl looks very weak and frail, therefore I don't think she's involved in the Civil War".

Upon receiving that reply, Steinarius' expression grew even sterner. After all, he had been expecting a very different answer.

"Did she wear anything related to Talos?"

"I couldn't tell", Erandur admitted. "When I found her, the poor child was completely naked".

Confronted with that news, Steinarius felt a rush of rage and disgust run through his body.

"Do you think someone forced themselves on her?"

Erandur shuddered and looked at Frida. When Steinarius did the same, the alchemist sighed.

"I honestly couldn't tell", she admitted. "We'll have to ask her, if and when the poor girl wakes up".

There was a long moment of silence, during which Steinarius rubbed his temples with his slender fingers. That day had been a total failure: he'd witnessed the death of a whole family, he'd been deceited by his own senses, he'd forsaken all his plans to save the world - and now he was confronted with the fate of a mysterious girl who'd been tortured by someone he didn't know. Steinarius had no idea as to the identity of the stranger, just like he didn't know who had treated her so badly: although the girl had seemingly been tortured by the Thalmor, she namely didn't seem one of the usual targets of the Dominion. Confused by that fact, the Imperial had no idea what to think.

"Steinarius, I was wondering whether you could take a look at that poor child", Erandur said after a few minutes of silence, thus snapping the Imperial out of his thoughts. "I know that you never tortured anyone, but I also know that the Thalmor work in close association with the Legion. As a former officier, I thought that you..."

When the priest sheepishly trailed off, Steinarius sighed. Erandur had likely come to the same conclusion as him.

"I know what you mean", the Imperial said in reply to the Dunmer's request. "Let's go see this girl, then".

Nodding, Erandur stood up from his chair and led the way towards the room where the mysterious stranger was resting. As he and Steinarius left the main hall to the Temple, Frida murmured a quick prayer to Arkay: in her opinion, the unfortunate girl was likely to die in the following hours.

* * *

The stranger Erandur had found earlier that morning was resting in one of the warmest beds of Nightcaller Temple. Her room was little and comfortable, but it was also very messy: there were bloody bandages on the floor, empty vials on a table, an old blanket near the fireplace.

Steinarius frowned as he realized that the girl' scent reminded him of Vigdis. _It's just your imagination_ , he told himself while taking a step closer to her bed.

The injured woman was covered by many blankets. She was sleeping, but she wasn't at peace: her breathing was irregular, whereas her hair were covered in sweat. Thanks to his heightened senses, Steinarius realized that her heartbeat was worryingly frantic.

When he reached her bedside, Steinarius noticed that the girl's face was completely wrapped in bandages, just like her body. The only parts of her that he could see were her broken nose, the tip of her left ear and her bloody lips.

As he gently peeled the blankets away from her torso, Steinarius realized that there wasn't an inch of the woman's body that wasn't covered in newly formed scars or nasty black bruises. Also, the smell of blood completely hid the scent of her skin.

When the air of the room brushed against her now bare arms, the girl whimpered in her sleep. Wearing a pained grimace, she slightly moved her neck to the right, as though she was trying to get away from the cold. It was a small movement, but it was enough to uncover part of her face.

When some bandages fell out of place, Erandur let out a sigh. Steinarius, on the other hand, deadpanned - there was something very familiar in the shape of the poor girl's eyes, just like there was something very familiar in the line of moles across her right cheek. Frowning, the Imperial lent down towards her and gently stroked her hair - curly, dark blond hair just like Agda's. When he noticed that similarity, Steinarius felt panic wash over him.

 _You must be dreaming_ , the usual voice on the back of his mind immediately told him. _Agda is in either Wayrest with her family or in Riverwood with Orgnar. She has no reason to be here, just like there is no reason why someone should have tortured her like they did with this poor girl. You've had a tiring day and you've spent most of the afternoon thinking of your former lovers, that's why you've mistaken this unlucky stranger for Agda._

Willing to put his own mind at ease, Steinarius tried to find more elements that could help him understand that the girl in front of his eyes definitely wasn't Agda. The Imperial suddenly remembered that the young innkeeper had got herself a tiny little scar back when they were together - a tiny little scar she'd caused by burning her ring finger with a fire spell.

Steinarius perfectly remembered the day when Agda had shown him that little scar. _Now I am one step closer to becoming a battered warrior like you_ , she'd joked. Despite his worry, Steinarius had burst into laughter at the pride in the girl's voice; a moment later, he'd gathered her in his arms and carried her to bed. He and Agda had remained under their blankets until a rather exasperated Orgnar had knocked on their door, thus suggesting they stopped the unmistakable sounds coming from their room.

Frowning at those memories, Steinarius grabbed the hand of the unconscious girl and gently removed the bandages from her right hand. As he did that, the man ignored Erandur's questioning gaze. The Dragonborn knew he was acting weird, but he also knew that he needed to run a quick test for the sake of his mental health.

As soon as the girl's hand was freed from its bandages, blood immediately started dripping from an ugly scar on its palm. Steinarius grabbed a tankard of water and used it to wash away the dirt, then he used his heightened senses to analyze the skin of that unlucky stranger. As he found what he was looking for, the Imperial felt as though his heart had just stopped beating. The unlucky girl had a little scar in the shape of a moon on her ring finger; also, now that Steinarius was close enough to ignore the blood covering her scent, he noticed that her skin smelled like the wood of an alchemy lab, like the pages of a new book, like the sunflowers along the Golden Coast of Cyrodiil.

Feeling himself on the verge of fainting, Steinarius knelt down on the floor and took his head in his hands: while he was busy tracking a ghost, Agda was fighting for dear life in the very same building where he'd slept that night.


	43. Old habits

**Author's note:**

 **First of all, I deeply thank all my readers/followers/favoriters, old and new alike. The special shoutout of the week goes to dear Valtieri: you're perfectly right about Vigdis' selfishness and Steinarius' troubles dealing with his own feelings. Also, Erandur will definitely play an important role in the next few chapters.**

 **This instalment finally provides us with the long awaited reunion between Agda and Steinarius. It's the first chapter where I tried using a mixed point of view, so I'd like to know if you have any opinions/suggestions/whatever about that.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **13th of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

Agda floated in a sea of darkness for what felt like a lifetime. In her deep slumber she could feel nothing but pain, terrible sharp pain that enveloped her whole body and never eased its grip on her tired mind. The girl felt as though her chest and her back were about to burst open, she felt as though her arms and her legs had been run through by sharp arrows, she felt as though her cheeks and her forehead were on fire. On top of that, endless nightmares prevented her from finding peace. Unable to wake up, Agda would often see a monk in colourful robes cursing her because she'd betrayed his trust, she would see a faceless woman leaving her to die in the coldness of the North, she would see a terrifying creature mock her while she was trying to swim her way out of the Sea of Ghosts. Moreover, every time the young mage felt on the brink of giving up the fight and finally surrender to madness and death, a black floating orb would appear in front of her eyes and invite her to surrender. _Give me your freedom and I'll give you my powers_ , it would tell her with a slow and seductive voice. Despite her desperation, however, Agda never listened: despite her desperation, she knew better than getting involved with a creature from Oblivion.

* * *

After realizing that the injured girl in Nightcaller Temple was no one but Agda, Steinarius completely forsook his plans to save the world. After that terrible discovery, the Imperial namely spent most of his time by the girl's bedside, caressing her arms and gently squeezing her hand whenever she grimaced in her sleep.

When Erandur first came across her, Agda's conditions were very serious. Someone had already stitched up the deep cuts in her limbs, had covered the red welts on her body with a soothing paste, had even given her a few potions against fever and infections; nonetheless, the cold of the North had worsened the girl's conditions, whereas the seemingly endless blood loss had made her weak and unresponsive to treatment. As a consequence, for almost a week everyone in Nightcaller Temple feared that Agda was about to die.

During those long, nightmarish days, Steinarius never parted from the unconscious girl who'd suddenly appeared in the courtyard of Erandur's home. Rather than enquiring about her presence in Dawnstar, the man namely preferred remaining by Agda' side whenever he could. Unfortunately, Erandur and Frida quickly got tired of that over-protective attitude.

The first one to snap at Steinarius was Erandur. One day, as the priest was checking on Agda, the Imperial asked him a lot of questions about the procedures he was following; an hour later, he criticized him for removing the girl's clothes in order to treat some wounds on her chest; that very same evening, the Dragonborn complained about the way Erandur was reapplying the bandages to the girl's arms. At that point, the usually calm Dunmer lost it: he screamed at Steinarius to leave him alone, then he banished him from Agda's room, thus making sure that the Imperial wouldn't bother him again while he was doing his job.

 _I am the healer, not you!_ , Erandur said - or, better, shouted - to justify that decision. _Without me, your friend would already be dead!_

Less than a day later Frida followed the Dunmer's example and snapped at Steinarius too. She didn't like the way the Dragonborn lurked around every time she brewed a potion, just like she didn't enjoy his annoying questions and suggestions about her job; as a consequence, after banishing Steinarius from her workplace, the woman came up with a series of tasks that could keep that apprehensive Imperial away from Nightcaller Temple and from Agda.

The first time Frida required him to kill as many mudcrabs as possible in order to collect their chitin, Steinarius zealantly followed her orders - in that moment, everything that could help him take his mind off Agda's desperate conditions was actually very welcomed. Yet, when the woman asked him to do the very same thing three times in less than two days, the Dragonborn understood that the alchemist was simply trying to keep him out of her way.

Steinarius made that realization a few days after Agda's arrival in Nightcaller Temple. While he was walking to Dawnstar in a very bad mood, the Imperial noticed that a Khajit caravan had just stopped outside the city. As he recognized his old friend Kharjo, the Imperial grinned; a moment later, he approached the employer of that young Khajit and made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

When he was done talking to Akhari, Steinarius happily made his way back to Nightcaller Temple. Thanks to his idea, his coin purse was lighter than ever; at the same time, however, a couple of very expert Khajits were travelling towards the closest cities in order to buy as many alchemy ingredients and healing potions as possible. In that way, Steinarius could get everything Agda needed without ever leaving her bedside; moreover, he could finally give up his job of mudcrab exterminator.

Luckily enough, after a few days of restlessness and unease the Dragonborn received the news he'd been longing to hear: although she still hadn't regained consciousness, Agda was now officially out of danger. When he found out about that, Steinarius did something he hadn't done in a while: he thanked the Divines with a long prayer.

* * *

When Agda opened her eyes after a week of unbelievable pain, she was taken aback by her surroundings.

The girl was resting in a little bedroom, not far from a comforting fireplace. She was covered by expensive blankets and was wrapped in an old, baggy sleeping gown. On her nightstand there were many empty vials and a few wooden toys.

As she took in her whereabouts, Agda frowned. She perfectly remembered reaching Winterhold with Adaeze after their adventure in Fellglow Keep, just like she perfectly remembered falling asleep on a chair in Enthir's cubicle. Nonetheless, her new bedroom definitely didn't look like a part of the College. The girl frowned at that realization: if she wasn't in Winterhold, where was she? And most of all, how had she ended up there?

Willing to find an answer to those questions, Agda tried to grab one of the potions on her nightstand. To her great shock, upon turning her head the girl was immediately overrun by a terrible shot of pain. Only then did Agda realize the reason why she was feeling so sore and tired and bruised: her body was completely covered in bandages, many of which were drenched in blood. A second later, the girl noticed the deep gashes in her arms, the red welts on her chest, the pain that washed over her every time she took a deep breath. It looked as though she'd just wrestled with a troll, a very angry troll that had done its best to break most of the bones in her body. Agda didn't know how she'd come across that creature, but she was sure of one thing: she didn't remember anything about it.

Worried by that realization, the young mage whimpered. Confronted with the pain that immediately pierced her chest, the girl added a couple of broken ribs to the endless list of injuries she'd mysteriously sustained. That fact caused the girl to begin breathing erratically; at the same time, the healer understood that she was about to have a panic attack. Rather than helping her calm her nerves, that awareness only had Agda burst into a desperate cry. The girl was utterly desperate: she was alone in a place she didn't know, she was completely covered in blood, she was powerless and weak; but most of all, she had no memory of how she'd gotten herself into that sticky situation.

Before Agda could regain control of her emotions, the door to her bedroom slowly creaked open. Much to her horror, the mage was confronted by the tired eyes of an old, unknown woman. When she realized that she was awake, the stranger let out a delighted squeal.

"Talos be praised, you've finally come to!", she squeaked while taking a few steps towards Agda's bed. "By the Divines, you look even younger now that you've finally regained consciousness! Oh, look at that", the stranger added while pointing at the bandages on Agda's chest. That old woman was probably short-sighted, as she didn't realize that the girl was crying. "Your cuts are bleeding again! Erandur did a very poor job yesterday".

Upon hearing those words, Agda's terror grew even more.

Who was Erandur? And what did it mean that was she was bleeding _again_?

Before the mage could properly reflect on those questions, the nameless stranger reached her bed and made to lay a hand on her ribs, not far from the girl's breasts. Shocked by the way the older woman was apparently trying to grope her, Agda writhed in order to get away from her. That movement caused her to let out a loud sob, thus making the stranger aware of her feelings.

"Dear sweetheart, there's no need to cry!", the old lady said in a reassuring tone. "I'm not here to hurt you, Agdy: I just want to change your bandages. My name is Frida and, even if you weren't awake to see it, I've taken care of you over the last few days".

Despite those words, Agda tried once again to escape Frida's cold touch. _Who are you?_ , the young mage would have liked to ask that strange woman. _And why do you know my name?_ _But most of all,_ w _here am I? And why am I feeling so bad?_

Unfortunately, when Agda made to speak, her throat seemed unable to produce anything but a few gurgling sounds. When her brain was eventually overrun by dizziness, the girl realized that she was definitely too weak to talk.

Feeling desperate and hopeless, the young mage gave in to panic and resumed her desperate cry. Willing to make her at ease, Frida put her to sleep with a very powerful potion. The alchemist sincerely hoped that Agda's behavior wasn't a consequence of the tortures she'd endured.

* * *

Steinarius looked at the way Agda was resting in her bed. Ever since the girl had regained consciousness for the first time, the Imperial had been ordered not to enter her room while she was awake. Luckily enough, that afternoon things had changed: Frida had reached Dawnstar to take a look at her neglected shop, whereas Erandur was paying another visit to Rustleif and Seren's baby. As a consequence, the only people in Nightcaller Temple were Agda and Steinarius - and had the girl woken up, the Imperial would have been forced to remain with her.

 _If I come back to find that you've upset her, you're a dead man_ , Frida had threatened the Imperial - and Erandur had used very similar expressions.

The healers' unfriendly attitude had a very precise reason - as soon as Steinarius had walked into her room for the first since her awakening, Agda had namely looked very upset; moreover, she had raised a hand and tried to incinerate the Imperial with a firebolt.

Erandur and Frida didn't know why Steinarius cared so much for their patient - the man had simply told them that he and Agda were friends, as he didn't want them to pry into his private life. When confronted with Agda's reaction to her first encounter with the Dragonborn, however, the two healers immediately understood the truth behind Steinarius' relationship with the young Nord. Also, they immediately teamed up with the girl.

As he looked at his injured friend, the Dragonborn had no problems guessing the reason behind the healers' choice. Sore and bruised and broken, Agda was in need of cures and warmth and protection - and said protection implied keeping her safe from everyone and everything that could possibly annoy her.

Sighing, Steinarius gently caressed the arm of the poor girl. Agda slightly whimpered at that contact, but she didn't wake up. The Dragonborn was actually glad for that: he liked taking care of the young Nord and he knew that he couldn't do that when she was awake.

To say the truth, not even Frida and Erandur could deal with Agda when she was awake: every time the healers approached her, the girl namely started writhing in her bed and sobbing like a baby. Fearing that Agda could injure herself further due to that strange behavior, Erandur and Frida soon got used to giving her strong sleeping draughts whenever they had to take care of her. As a consequence, they still hadn't got the chance of informing the girl of her terrible injuries; at the same time, they still hadn't asked her why she'd been tortured.

As he stroked Agda's forehead, Steinarius sighed again. He'd often thought of her when he was in Solstheim: he often remembered her smiles and her sweetness, her shyness and her laughters, her deep brown eyes and the feeling of her full and feminine body curled up against his own during the night. Most of the times, however, Steinarius had recalled the way he'd hastily split up with her. The Dragonborn knew he'd done the right thing when he'd left that sweet inkeeper in order to focus on his duty; yet, that didn't prevent him from wishing that he and Agda had parted on friendly terms. Steinarius missed the way the young Nord always managed to soothe him, just liked he missed her protective attitude and her wise advice; as a consequence, he deeply hoped that one day Agda would forgive his evil words and finally go back to being one of his best friends.

When the girl repeatedly shivered in her sleep, Steinarius got up from his chair and grabbed a warm fur he'd bought from Akhari on the previous evening. He covered Agda's body with it, then he smiled at her now peaceful expression.

Once the young Nord seemed to regain her calm, Steinarius stretched his spine and started pacing up and down the room in order to contrast the stiffness in his bones. The Imperial was allowed in that place only when Agda was asleep, but that hadn't prevented him from doing his best in order to help her - and given that he wasn't a healer, Steinarius had done everything he could to make the girl' stay in Nightcaller Temple as comfortable as possible.

Firstly, the Dragonborn had worked hard to tidy the messy room where Agda slept; as a consequence, that place was now perfectly clean. Secondly, Steinarius had bought the girl new soft blankets in order to replace the ones Erandur had originally used to cover her. Thirdly, the Imperial had got her some heavy bear furs and a few baggy and comfortable nightgowns. At last, the Dragonborn had spent a ridiculous amount of money on the little wooden animals that now decorated Agda's nightstand. Steinarius remembered that, back when he was a child, every infant in Cyrodiil used to play with those cute tiny toys; as a consequence, he'd bought a few of them in order to make Agda at ease in the foreign environment of the temple. Judging from the way the girl had once fallen asleep with a wooden horse in her hand and a peaceful expression on her face, the plan had seemingly paid off.

Confronted with another slow whimper, Steinarius furrowed his brow. Until then Agda's problems at speaking had made her unable to mention her tortures, whereas Erandur and Frida had avoided that topic because they didn't want to upset her. For that very same reason, the healers still hadn't told her about the gravity of her injuries. Steinarius perfectly understood the reason behind that choice; nonetheless, he was burning with the desire to find more about Agda's enemy, so that he could pay them a visit and take their life. In his opinion, whoever had treated his friend that badly namely didn't deserve to continue their existence.

As Steinarius was still pacing up and down the room, another tiny whimper reached his sensitive ears. It sounded as though Agda was trying to speak - and when he turned to look at her and saw that her eyes were half-open, the Imperial realized that he'd been right.

"Help", Agda said with great effort. "Ter... ease... ing..."

Frowning, Steinarius grabbed a tankard of water and approached the girl's bed. He was worried: ever since her awakening, it was the first time Agda actually asked for help.

By the time the Imperial sat down beside her, the young Nord had already closed her eyes. When Steinarius aided her in gulping some water, however, she raised an eyelid and thanked her helper. Only then did she realize who she was dealing with.

"It's alright, Agds, it's alright", Steinarius soothed her when Agda made to raise a hand and cast a spell at him. The mage was still very weak, therefore the Imperial could prevent her from hurting him by simply grabbing her wrist. "Erandur and Frida are in Dawnstar, that's why I'm here. I'll leave the room immediately, if you want".

For the first time since they'd split up, Agda and Steinarius looked each other in the eyes. The Imperial tried to seem calm and reassuring despite the blackish scar Hermaeus Mora had left on his face, whereas the young woman did nothing to hide the confusion and the pain and the distress in her deep brown eyes.

Steinarius briefly recalled what the poor Nord had gone through over the previous week: Agda had seemingly been whipped at length by a very cruel torturer, had risked to die because some of her wounds had got infected, had regained consciousness only to find herself surrounded by unknown healers who were busy getting her dressed and undressed without too many explanations. No wonder she now looked that terrified.

There was a moment of silence, then Agda winced and closed her eyes. As the wrist he was holding went slack in his hands, Steinarius frowned in worry.

"Agds, what's wrong?"

The girl made to talk, but her throat only produced a pained whine. When she opened her eyes again, Steinarius realized that she was suffering a lot.

"You're burning with fever, aren't you?", he asked her as he remembered the words Agda had tried to utter a few seconds earlier. "That's what you were trying to tell me - you wanted some water to ease the burning in your body. Is there anything else I can do for you? Do you want me to get you a potion?"

There was a brief pause during which Agda probably thought about what to do. She was in great need of help - and right then, the only one who could aid her was Steinarius. The girl would have liked to kick the man in the rear until he asked her forgiveness for the way he'd wished Rhygo to die more than three months earlier; nonetheless, the sufferance had her swallow her pride and accept the help that was being given to her.

When Agda welcomed his offer with a light nod, Steinarius jumped to his feet and analyzed the potions Frida had left in the room. Luckily enough, that wise woman had labelled each and every vial, thus making it easier for him to find what he was looking for. The old alchemist treated Agda like a daughter and was ready to go miles to prevent her from suffering.

Even after the young Nord gulped a potion against diseases, her pained expression didn't change. When she growled in distress, Steinarius was quick to squeeze her hand and gently caress her forehead. Agda was too sore and weak to protest.

"I got you, little one, I got you", Steinarius reassured her after she whimpered again. "I promise you that everything will be alright, Agds. I will take care of you".

Surprisingly enough, those words caused Agda to shake her head. A moment later, she spoke clearly for the first time since she'd appeared on the steps of Nightcaller Temple.

"Don't... call me... _Agds_ ", the girl said with visible effort. "Just... just don't. And don't... promise... I'll be fine. Not... not with you around. You... always... end up hurting me".

Steinarius was taken aback by the way Agda whined after saying those words - and he was even more shocked by the efforts she'd made just to utter them. With terrible clearness, the man remembered the way he'd once shoved Agda against an alchemy lab, the way he'd tried to strangle her more than a year earlier, the way he'd toyed with her feelings and wished her brother to die. As he did, he felt the desire to disappear from Nirn and leave that poor girl be.

There was a long pause, as Steinarius didn't know how to respond to Agda's accusation. When the girl whimpered again, however, the Imperial forced himself to speak.

"Agda, how do you feel?", he asked while ignoring her previous words. "If you tell me, we'll find a way to make it better".

While waiting for the girl to answer, Steinarius traced some gentle circles on her wrist. The man hoped that those slow ministrations could help his friend feel better.

"Head... exploding", Agda whimpered as soon as she found a way to steady her voice. "I'm dizzy and my heart... too fast. My limbs... and my face... and my chest... throbbing painfully... and...".

Steinarius stopped Agda with a gesture. Hiding his worries behind a calm façade, the man grabbed another potion and carefully poured it into her mouth.

"There", he reassuringly told the girl. "This potion will lessen the pain. You'll feel better soon".

Since Agda still looked very upset, Steinarius gently laid a hand on her cheek. He caressed her by moving his thumb slowly, tenderly, while his palm was resting against her sore and burning flesh. At first Agda tried to resist those slow ministrations; yet, when another rush of dizziness ran through her brain, she gave up her pride and leant into the contact. As soon as she did that, Steinarius realized that her fever was still very high.

As silence descended upon the room, the Dragonborn focused on the way Agda's heart was drumming madly in her chest. In order to reassure her, Steinarius hushed her and kept on caressing her.

"You'll be alright, Agda", he whispered for the umpteenth time. "You just need to rest, you hear me?"

Surprisingly enough, Agda reacted to those words by shaking her head. She was a healer, therefore she knew that her injuries were too serious for her to fully recover.

"My face...won't be alright", she pointed out. "There are... bandages... and pain... so much pain... How... how bad is it? "

Confronted with the girl's question, Steinarius shifted uneasily on his chair. It was the first time Agda talked, therefore it was also the first time she asked about her injuries; moreover, until then Erandur and Frida had done their best to avoid any talks related to the gravity of her injuries. Caught in that delicate situation, Steinarius had no idea how to act. Shall he tell the truth or not?

"Your face doesn't look too good, Agda", the Imperial eventually confessed. He didn't want to scare the girl, but at the same time he didn't want to deceit her. "You have a broken nose, two broken cheekbones, a broken eye socket. We were lucky your jaw didn't get broken too".

"What... of the rest?", Agda asked. "My ribs... and my back..."

"You've got a couple broken ribs", Steinarius told her. "Also, you were apparently beaten with some nasty item - a whip, perhaps".

Steinarius saw Agda pale news, then he saw her looking at her chest.

"These scars...", she tentatively said as she observed a deep gash that ran along her collarbone. "How..."

"A dagger", the Imperial confessed. "Someone... someone carved them into your flesh".

"They're... on my face too, right?", Agda asked. "That's why... everyone flinches... when they look at me".

When Steinarius heavily sighed, Agda understood what his answer was. As reality finally cut its way through her mind, the girl had to fight hard against the tears that had already gathered in her eyes.

"I.. I was tortured", she murmured feeling frail and scared and vulnerable. "Someone... they did this to me... and..."

In an attempt to calm her friend, Steinarius hushed her and leant down towards her until his forehead gently brushed against hers. Agda didn't protest: right then, she would have accepted some solace even from a Hargraven.

"Just tell me who did this to you", the Dragonborn murmured without breaking that contact. "Whoever they are, they deserve a slow and painful death - and I'd be more than glad to be the one to take that monster's life".

Moved by the calm anger in Steinarius' voice, Agda eventually allowed a few tears to escape her eyes. She'd been tortured, her face had been disfigured, her body had suffered very severe injuries; yet, that wasn't the main reason for her distress.

"You can't... take that monster's life", Agda said as Steinarius wiped her tears and tried to hush her. "I don't... remember... them... or the tortures. I just... I don't remember... anything".

Confronted with that unexpected confession, Steinarius abruptly stopped his ministrations. Agda saw his grey eyes fill with dread.

"What do you mean that you don't remember anything?", the man asked her while trying - and failing - to keep his worry from showing in his voice. "You do remember that someone tortured you, don't you? The gashes in your arms and the way you've been whipped clearly mean that..."

Still crying, Agda shook her head.

"I don't... remember... what happened", she said. "Don't remember who, don't remember why. I just... I just found out... from you. I think... my memory... has been... has been damaged".

As Agda confessed that horrible truth, she couldn't help but sob. Confronted with her distress, Steinarius gently caressed her cheeks, carefully wiped the tears off her face, softly repeated her name in order to calm her. He now feared he'd been too blunt in revealing Agda the true gravity of her injuries; also, he was scared by the way the girl had seemingly lost part of her memory.

Steinarius tried to calm his friend for what felt like an endless amount of time. At last, when Agda calmed down, he decided to find out more about her alarming loss of memory.

"Agda, what is the last thing you remember?", the man asked while controlling his worries.

"The College", the girl sniffed while avoiding his gaze.

"What College? Winterhold?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius frowned.

"I thought you were either in Wayrest or in Riverwood", he confessed. "When did you join the College? And why?"

"Delphine", Agda sighed. "She asked me..."

Before the girl could finish her sentence, Steinarius' eyes widened in shock. He hadn't expected the leader of the Blades to have something to do with Agda.

"That Breton hag?!", the Dragonborn asked in disbelief. "What did she say in order to convince you to join the College?"

In another situation, Agda would have been angered by Steinarius' shocked tone. _I joined the College because I wanted to_ , she would have told him. Yet, right then the girl decided to reveal him the true reason why Delphine had asked her to become a mage.

"Delphine... wanted me... to spy... on a Thalmor".

Confronted with Agda's answer, Steinarius had to stifle the urge to pinch his skin to check whether he was dreaming. The man couldn't believe his ears: he knew that Delphine only cared about herself, but he couldn't believe that she'd been so stupid to ask a sweet girl like Agda to spy on a Thalmor. Surely the girl was mistaken, surely she was making up things, surely she...

"Of all people, Delphine asked _you_ to spy on a Thalmor", Steinarius repeated with a very astonished tone. He couldn't understand how the Breton could be that reckless. "Is she totally nuts?"

As soon as he spoke, Steinarius realized he'd managed to hurt Agda's feelings with his plain surprise.

"Even... in this situation... you always do that", the girl sighed with a mixture of sadness and pain and resignation in her broken voice. "I could become... High Queen of Skyrim... but you'd never believe... I can do... anything but cook".

Steinarius was outraged by Agda's words.

"It's not like that!", he protested. "I'm angry at Delphine, Agda, not at you! Your injuries have likely been caused by a Thalmor - probably the very same Thalmor that bitch asked you to keep an eye on. This is dangerous stuff, Agds: Delphine couldn't expect you to waltz into Winterhold and go unnoticed just because you're a sweet girl with a sweet smile who definitely doesn't look like a spy and can't kill a mudcrab on a good day. That hateful Hargraven should have known about that! Also, she should have told you that your opponent was..."

"Steinarius, do me... a favor", Agda suddenly broke the Imperial off. "Leave... the room... and don't come back. _Please_. It's the only... thing I'm asking you. I'm too tired... to hear... your critics".

Confronted with the plea in the girl's brown eyes, Steinarius realized the gravity of his mistakes. Agda was right: try all he might, every time he met her he always seemed to end up hurting her.

 _Great job, heartthrob_ , a voice on the back of his mind suddenly whispered. _Agda confesses someone that she's lost part of her memory, and you make her feel like a weak and useless girl who can do nothing but use a broomstick - and all when she's so sore that she can barely speak. I'm impressed, Dragonborn, I really am: every time I think your ability of dealing with people can't get any worse, you always manage to surprise me._

Moved by those irritating thoughts and by Agda's quiet sobs, Steinarius left her room and closed the door behind him. As soon as he did it, he realized he needed to have a quick chat with Delphine and inform her of the consequences of her brilliant plan.


	44. A nightmare to remember

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here we are with a new instalment.** **Before we get started, I deeply thank Valtieri for their review: Erandur will definitely get angry at Steinarius for bothering Agda, whereas the Imperial will get angry at himself for his lack of empathy (which, by the way, is a theme I'll face later on in the story). Speaking of reviews, I also thank Contrary to Popular Belief 3 for their kind words about my work. I'm so glad you're still on board! Moreover, I'm very happy you liked Vigdis' personality and that you noticed the way our "new and improved" Agda reacts when she's with Steinarius. That girl has definitely grown a lot since she left Riverwood! Also, don't apologize for not commenting on my story over the last few days: whereas I do adore reading people's opinions on my fic, I also realize that I update quite often, so it's not easy to keep up with the new instalments. Apropos, for the next ten days I won't be around, so I won't manage to post any new chapter. Don't worry, however: I have already written the next instalments of this story and I'm looking forward to posting them once I'm back in the tracks.**

 **Anyways, back to business: in this chapter Agda will try to find a way to retrieve her memory - me, on the other hand, will try to present her reasoning in a logical way. Also, we'll find out more about what happened inside the Midden - as a consequence, there's another warning for torture. **

**Enjoy!**

 _ **Edit: there were issues with my computer, so I had to update this story three times before I got it right. Sorry if I spammed your mail, and thank you for your patience!**_

* * *

Even after Steinarius left her room, Agda couldn't stop the tears that were trailing down her cheeks: even if she killed Alduin in his stead, that arrogant Imperial would always see her as a wimpy innkeeper who could do nothing but cook - and that fact made the girl feel angry and sad and distressed.

In an attempt to forget the Dragonborn's indelicacy, Agda tried to grab a clean towel near her bed and dry the tears from her face; unfortunately, the effort of stretching her arm caused sudden bolts of pain to run through her body.

With a powerless whine, Agda fell back on the mattress and listened in horror to her frantic heartbeat, to her ragged breathing, to the violent sobs that were having her shiver uncontrollably. Closing her eyes, the girl tried to get a hold of herself: she counted until one hundred and backwards, she declaimed an old poem she'd studied when she was a child, she translated _Ragnar the Red_ in Daedric by relying on the few words she'd learned during her sleepless nights at the library of Winterhold. Yet, none of that could help her calm down.

Whimpering in a mixture of fear and worry and confusion, Agda focused once again on what Steinarius had told her. Until her brief dialogue with the Imperial, the girl had had no clear indication of the gravity of her injuries. She knew that she was in great pain, sure, just like she knew that her life had been on the line for almost a week; nevertheless, she had never believed her injuries to have been caused by a very cruel torturer. In an attempt to find out more about the work of that evil tormenter, Agda ran a hand across her marred face. As she did, the girl shuddered more than once: under her bandages there were deep gashes crisscrossing her nose, her forehead and her mouth. Shocked by that realization, Agda understood that Steinarius had told her the truth. Also, she realized that her face had been turned into a horrible mass of dead tissues and broken bones and terrifying scars.

As reality sank its way though her mind, Agda felt much worse than she'd had until then: she had sustained many fractures, she'd been whipped for hours, her body was covered in scars; she was burning with fever, she still had troubles controlling her magicka, she couldn't even sit up in her bed - and to add insult to injury, the young mage couldn't remember why she was suffering so much.

Scared by that awareness, Agda sobbed for what felt like a lifetime. Then, however, she understood something important. Tears weren't going to get her anywhere: they couldn't make her feel better, just like they couldn't heal her wounds. Her brain, on the other hand, could help her understand what happened before she got to Nightcaller Temple.

Fueled by that realization, Agda took her mind off the pain in order to focus on her memories. Over the previous few days the young mage had managed to evoke a few events she thought she'd forgotten once and for all - and all those events regarded her unexpected chat with Quaranir. Agda was sure that the Psijic Monk had told her something important during their short meeting, something about the Eye of Magnus and her role in keeping Winterhold safe; unfortunately, she couldn't recall anything about it.

With an annoyed sigh, Agda reflected once again upon her situation. She perfectly remembered joining the College, just like she perfectly remembered her happy childhood in Anvil, her first journey to Skyrim, the way Delphine had talked to her while she was in Wayrest. Yet, the young Nord couldn't recall any of the events that took place after her encounter with Quaranir.

While thinking about that fact, Agda suddenly made a rather unsettling realization. Since she could recall most of her life without any effort, the girl namely understood that her mind had _not_ been damaged by mistake; quite on the contrary, someone had altered it so that she could forget only few selected memories from her recent past. As far as Agda knew, there was only one way to obtain that result - a way that implied using a very powerful draught.

As an alchemist, Agda was well acquainted with potions that could delete part of people's mind. Sometimes those draughts were used to cancel memories that could compromise governments or cause wars, sometimes they were used as punishment; most of the times, however, those rare vials were employed to help soldiers forget traumatic experiences.

With a frown, Agda realized that she didn't really care about the reason why someone had erased part of her mind - all she cared about was finding a way to retrieve her memories and finally remember Quaranir's warning.

While looking for something that could help her relive her past, Agda recalled the most important rules of alchemy: every problem had a solution and every solution had a potion; every potion had its ingredients and its fields of application; but most and foremost, every potion could be contrasted by another potion.

Fueled by that realization, Agda sat up in bed. Although her injuries advised her against it, the girl wanted to convince Erandur to allow her into the alchemy room of Nightcaller Temple - after all, if her loss of memory had really been caused by an alchemical draught, the young mage was determined to put her talent to good use and find an antidote to it.

* * *

"Are you really sure you want to do this, child?"

Erandur's voice was full of worry; yet, despite the priest's distress and the fact that her own instincts were yelling at her to change her mind, Agda nodded.

"I want... to take my mind... off the pain... and the insults", she said with a fake sob. "And alchemy... could help me... do just that".

Erandur sighed. He'd come home a few minutes earlier only to find a very distressed Agda sprawled the floor of her room. When questioned about the choice of leaving her bed despite her weakness, the girl had said that she wanted to reach Frida's working place and brew herself a couple of potions.

 _I need to forget the pain_ , she'd claimed, her eyes full of sufferance and tears. _Also, I want to forget what Steinarius told me_.

Confused by those words, Erandur had asked Agda what she meant. Despite her troubles with speaking, the girl had claimed she now knew the truth about her injuries and the tortures she'd endured. Also, she'd said Steinarius had upset her while the priest was in Dawnstar.

Agda'd felt rather guilty when Erandur'd stormed out of her room and started screaming at the Dragonborn; nonetheless, the girl knew that playing the damsel in distress was the only way to get what she wanted. Erandur was namely a very careful and strict healer, one who would never allow her inside his alchemy room as long as her injuries didn't get better. Yet, by lying to him about how Steinarius had treated her, Agda hoped the Dunmer would soften up and make that wish of hers come true.

Although it was rather far-fetched, Agda's plan perfectly worked.

"if that is the only way to make you forget that arrogant warrior, I'll take you to our alchemy room", the Dunmer announced with a sigh. "You won't be able to stand up, though - you are still too weak for that".

Agda nodded, then listened as Erandur left her den and magically carried one bed from the nearby dormitory to the room where he usually brewed his potions. A moment later, the priest walked back to Agda and used a spell to help her reach the huge alchemy larder inside his house. The girl had never seen anything like that: that room in Nightcaller Temple hosted lots of shelves full of rare ingredients and even rarer potions. To an alchemist like her, that place was Sovngarde incarnated.

"I'll make sure that Steinarius won't bother you again", Erandur said as he magically lowered Agda onto the bed he'd prepared for her. A moment later, the priest cast a spell that neared the girl's comfortable mattress to the shelves inside the room. "I told him off and I also asked him to leave. He shouldn't have told you that you're a whiney useless brat".

Confronted with Erandur's outraged expression, Agda blushed. Steinarius hadn't actually been that rude to her; yet, that little lie had helped her gain the priest's help.

"That irritating Imperial stormed out of the temple as soon as I told him what I think of him", Erandur continued with a snort. The poor man was completely oblivious of Agda's wicked plan. "He was shivering in rage and his eyes had a weird golden colour. Even if that was rather scary, I couldn't care less: no one upsets my patients while I'm not there to help them".

Agda's embarrassement grew even stronger after listening to those words: after his argument with Erandur, Steinarius had likely gone hunting in his werewolf form in order to let off steam.

"I told that stupid Imperial that he really is a heartless creature", the priest added as he placed a few soft pillows behind Agda's back, thus helping her sit up in her bed. "I also told him that he should have held your hand and caressed you, because that's what normal people do when their friends are suffering; and instead no, he just waltzed into your room and criticized you because you were tortured. That man is cruel and rude and mean and..."

Before Erandur could find another adjective to describe Steinarius' personality, Agda noticed a little potion that was resting on a shelf. Despite her experience with alchemy, the girl had never seen anything like that: that draught was contained in a beautifully engraved vessel and had a beautiful pale blue color. As soon as she saw that vial, Agda felt compelled to know more about it.

"That, my dear, is a very foul potion called Vaermina's Torpor", Erandur frowned. From his expression, Agda could tell that the Dunmer was slightly annoyed by the way she'd interrupted his rant about Steinarius. "Believe me, that thing is the very stuff nightmares are made of - actually, it is said to be made with ingredients that only exist in Quagmire, Vaermina's terrifying realm".

Agda raised an eyebrow at that dramatic explanation.

"What does... that vial... actually do?"

"It helps people relive the memories of someone close to them", Erandur immediately replied. "Also, it can cause them to move through space in their sleep. I wouldn't advise drinking it, though: when Steinarius did it, he hated every moment of it. Actually, he even suggested I destroyed that potion once and for all".

Agda frowned: she couldn't see the connection between Steinarius, Vaermina, Erandur and that potion. Fueled by the girl's confused expression, the Dunmer sighed: it was high time that sweet girl found out about his past.

* * *

Erandur talked for a very long time. His acquaintance with Steinarius dated back to a few years earlier, when the Imperial had just joined the Legion Camp in the Pale. After his whole squad had started suffering from horrible nightmares, the former Companion had reached Dawnstar in order to enquire about that strange problem - and that's when Erandur had asked for his help and led him to Nightcaller Temple. During their joint adventure, Steinarius had discovered that the seemingly innocent Dunmer priest was a former Daedra worshipper; also, he'd relived some of his memories thanks to Vaermina's Torpor. At last, the man had ended the terrible nightmares that were causing many people of Dawnstar to lose their minds.

Once Erandur was done recalling that mission, Agda had to do her best to stifle her enthusiasm. Right then she didn't care about the priest' guilty expression, just like she wasn't interested in listening to his wise words about Daedras. Right then, Agda could only think of one thing: Vaermina's Torpor and the way that potion could help people relive their memories.

When Erandur left her alone in the alchemy room in order to greet Frida, who had just returned to Nightcaller Temple after spending the whole day in her shop, Agda gathered all her courage. The moment she was waiting for had finally arrived.

With great effort, the girl grabbed a magicka potion near her bed. She gulped it, then she used a telekinesis spell to get hold of Vaermina's Torpor. Luckily enough, Erandur hadn't used any special enchantment to prevent people from touching that vial.

Feeling her heartbeat fasten for the excitement, Agda poured the content of the beautifully engraved bottle inside the now empty container of the magicka potion she'd previously drunk. Right before Frida walked inside her room, the young mage put the vessel for Vaermina's Torpor back on the shelf and kept the fake magicka potion tight in her hands.

"I see you're back in tracks, sweetie!", Frida greeted her with a warm smile. Just like Erandur, she was glad Agda had finally stopped considering her a threat. Also, she was ready to do everything in order to help the poor girl find some peace. "Are you brewing a magicka potion?"

"I'm actually... carrying out an experiment... about the changes... some ingredients ... may bring about... in a few selected vials", Agda said with great effort. "I... I missed alchemy".

Luckily for the girl, Frida immediately believed her. She had no idea that Agda had just poured a foul draught like Vaermina's Torpor into the harmless container of a magicka potion. In that way, no one could notice what she was doing unless they took a sip of the draught the girl was currently working on.

"I'll leave you to your studies, then", the elder alchemist announced with a smile. "If you need help, I'll be patrolling the area to prevent Steinarius from entering this building. That Imperial has already caused you enough trouble as it is; also, he's behaving like a lunatic. Not only did he anger you - he also scattered the clothes he was wearing all over the stairs to the entrance of the Temple. Erandur and I believe he was entirely naked when he left the building".

Stifling a chuckle at Frida's outraged tone, Agda realized that her previous suspicion had been correct: Steinarius had really turned into a werewolf after his angry argument with Erandur. For once, the girl couldn't blame him for taking such a drastic measure.

* * *

When Frida eventually left her alone, Agda was free to get down to her wicked plan.

Despite the pain in her ribs, the girl sat upright in her bed in order to examine the alchemy ingredients inside the room. Then she used a spell to approach the little laboratory in the corner and finally start working.

Despite the desire to retrieve her memories, Agda didn't feel like drinking Vaermina's Torpor. She was namely afraid that said potion would cause her to move around in her slumber; Also, she feared that it could make her relive someone else's past instead of her own. As a consequence, the girl wanted to modify that vial by relying on her talent with alchemy.

First of all, Agda created a strong paralyzing potion. Hopefully, that vial would contrast the effects of Vaermina's Torpor, thus preventing her from awakening in a different place from Nightcaller Temple. Once that draught was ready, the girl carefully analyzed the many ingredients inside the room. Agda didn't want to experience someone else's past, therefore she was looking for a substance that would cause her to relive her own memories. Sighing, the young mage thought of many legendary potions of old - she thought about the mysterious vials that allegedly caused people to morph into animals, about the weird potions that could turn people into wereboars, about the evil draughts that allowed their creators to put themselves in someone else's shoes or, better, _skins_. According to those legends and myths, all those potions had something in common: in order to work, they required two elements - a Daedra heart to defy the rules of the mortal world, and a part of the creature or person the alchemist wanted to turn into. Frowning in concentration, Agda thought that Vaermina's Torpor could probably be modified by using the only Daedra heart she could find in the room where she was currently staying. Also, she realized she needed a part of her body in order to relive her own memories and not someone else's.

With a determined expression on her face, Agda grabbed a nearby dagger and made to cut the palm of her right hand. Before she could carry out her plan, however, the girl realized there there was no need for such a creepy gesture - one of her blonde hair would probably do just fine.

Praying that no one would enter the room in that moment, Agda grabbed an empty vial and laid her hair inside it. A moment later, she added the paralyzing potion she'd just brewed and a few drops of Vaermina's Torpor. At last, the girl watched the result of her efforts and sighed.

Trying to ignore the voices in her mind - the very same voices that were telling her to stop what she was doing because she could get herself killed -, Agda eventually drank the weird, sour potion she'd just created. She fell back on the mattress, then she looked at the ceiling and prayed for her plan to work. A moment later, the young Nord was swept away by an unstoppable river of memories.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Steinarius finally returned to Nightcaller Temple. The Imperial's body was covered only by the blood of a fat Horker he'd killed during his angry hunt as a werewolf; yet, the man couldn't care less - right then, the only thing he cared about was getting away from that foul building and its arrogant inhabitants.

Scoffing in irritation, the Dragonborn reached his room and locked himself inside it. He'd tried his best to help Agda, he really had, but his usual troubles with words had ruined everything - and then, Erandur had caused him to lose his temper once and for all.

 _If you are the one who has to defeat Alduin, then we're screwed!_ , the usual calm priest had shouted at him. _If you can't even take care of an injured girl who once was your lover, how can you think of saving us all?_

When Steinarius had tried to reply, Erandur had shouted even louder.

 _You think you can do whatever you want just because you've been granted with special powers by the Divines, but that doesn't give you the right to upset a sweet girl like Agda! Actually, I think Akatosh is already regretting the way he tasked you to save the world: you may be strong, but you are as heartless as the dragons you're meant to slay. That's why the girl you call a "whiney innkeeper" would make a much better Dragonborn than you: try as you might, Steinarius, you'll never be as brave and generous as Agda! Also, the world would be a much better place if there were more innocent people like her and less arrogant pricks like you!_

As he recalled those words, Steinarius snorted and hastily began to pack his knapsack. During their argument, Erandur had shouted at him to leave Nightcaller Temple and never come back - and had it not been for his luggage, the Imperial would have already followed that advice.

To say it all, Steinarius was actually relieved by the priest's decision: had Erandur not banned him from his house, he would have namely remained in Dawnstar until Agda'd regain her health. Nonetheless, Steinarius couldn't afford himself that luxury: he had already lost precious time in his fight against the dragons and had no wish to stick around that whiney girl. Before working on defeating Alduin, however, the Dragonborn felt the urgent need to talk to Delphine. The leader of the Blades was a cunning and manipulative woman who perfectly knew how the Thalmor tortured their victims until they got mad with pain. As a consequence, Steinarius couldn't understand why she'd been so stupid to send an unexperienced girl like Agda against such a dangerous enemy. Frowning, the Dragonborn realized that perhaps Delphine hadn't been stupid; perhaps she'd deliberately chosen Agda because she wanted to send him a message: _mess with love and other silly things, and that's what happens_. Considering the low esteem he nourished for the Breton, Steinarius thought her perfectly capable of doing something like that.

Sighing, the Dragonborn closed his knapsack and finally began getting dressed. He'd just put on his breeches when he heard a loud commotion from the nearby rooms. It sounded as though Agda was screaming in pain; yet, Steinarius had no idea why the girl would do something like that.

 _Not my problem_ , the Dragonborn selfishly thought. After all, that girl had lied to Erandur about their conversation, a fact that had deeply offended him. He had troubles with words, sure, but he'd never call that sweet girl "a whiney little brat" - at least, not while she was suffering so much.

Steinarius was doing up his shirt when a rather terrified Frida reached his room and called out his name.

"I'm leaving for the Reach, so you'll have to find a new mudcrab exterminator", the Imperial told her as soon as the woman began banging her fist on his locked door. "I'm dumb, but I can understand when someone doesn't want me around - and Erandur and Agda both fit into that category".

Frida stopped knocking for a second.

"Erandur has changed his mind, Steinarius!", she hastily screamed. "He needs your help to look after Agda. It's very important!"

When Frida resumed banging on his door, the Dragonborn allowed her into his room with a tired sigh.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want anything to do with this anymore", he announced before the woman could ask once again for his help. "Erandur thinks he's the only one who can take care of Agda? Fine: let him ell her his usual crap about the Divines and Mara's love for humanity. Too bad that the Gods were busy minding their own businesses while someone was torturing that poor girl and disfiguring her..."

Ignoring the man's rage, Frida laid a hand on his arm.

"Steinarius, I know that you're angry at Erandur, but you must help Agda", she broke him off, her eyes full of worry and plea and despair. "She's got hold of a potion in the alchemy room and has fallen into a deep slumber. I'm begging you: come with me and take a look at her. _Please_!"

Before he could properly register those words, Steinarius heard another shrill shout. As soon as he did, the Imperial sighed.

Erandur could believe what he wanted, but the Dragonborn wasn't an evil man; as a consequence, he decided to meet Agda one last time before forgetting about her once and for all.

* * *

When Steinarius reached Agda's room, he was taken aback by surprise.

The girl was consciousless and was shivering violently in her sleep; her eyes were closed, whereas her chest was heaving painfully fast; sweat was gathering on her forehead, whereas her cheeks were covered in tears.

Sitting motionless by her bedside, Erandur was looking at Agda with a very saddened expression. When Steinarius walked inside his room, the priest didn't even look at him.

"What's going on here?", the Dragonborn groaned when confronted with Erandur's passive behavior.

Overrun by sadness and regret and a strong feeling of guilt, the priest sighed in defeat.

"I thought that, of all people, you would understand what Agda did".

As he spoke, Erandur's eyes focused on Agda's nightstand. Following his gaze, Steinarius noticed a little container - a beautifully engraved container that looked very familiar. As soon as he saw that weird object, the Imperial recalled the first time he'd ventured into Nightcaller Temple.

"Tell me this is not what I think".

As soon as the Imperial said those words, Erandur let out another tired sigh.

"Steinarius, it is all my fault: I left Agda alone in the room where I store alchemy ingredients because I thought she wanted to brew a few potions. Unfortunately, she found Vaermina's Torpor and drank it".

The Dragonborn frowned - despite Erandur's explanation, that situation striked him as strange. Guessing the reason behind his baffled expression, the priest slowly stood up from his stool.

"You did tell me that Agda was quite the alchemist, but I didn't expect her to be that good", he confessed. The Dunmer seemed on the verge of bursting into tears. "She modified Vaermina's Torpor, thus creating a potion that is seemingly causing her to relive her own memories. I have no idea how she did that, just like I don't know the motives behind her choice. I only know that she's suffering a lot".

Steinarius' eyes widened in a mixture of fear and worry and disbelief. If Agda was really reliving her own past, she was likely getting through her tortures all over again. No wonder she looked that horrified.

"There must be a way to stop this", he hastily said. "You must know a way to stop it, Erandur. You, or Frida, or..."

When a new shrill shout echoed in the room, everyone turned to look at Agda. Finally awake, the girl was in evident distress: many tears were running down her cheeks, whereas her eyes were wide as though she'd just seen something horrible.

As soon as a loud sob escaped the mage's lips, Steinarius forgot his argument with her, the way she'd lied to Erandur about their conversation, his desire to never see her again - right then, all Steinarius cared about was finding a way to make Agda feel better.

Without caring for the girl's injuries, the man made to sit on her bed and gather her in his arms. He was very shocked when Agda let out a heart-breaking scream and hastily ordered him to stay away from her. When Erandur tentatively approached her, the mage reacted in a similar way.

"Get away from me, you... you pointy-eared monster!", Agda screamed at the baffled priest. "Leave... Leave me alone!"

Steinarius and Erandur were completely at loss for words: they had no idea why Agda was so mad at them.

When the injured girl made to stand up from her bed, Frida was quick to stop her by reaching her and laying both hands on her shoulders. Agda looked at the old woman for a second, then she unexpectedly buried her face in her chest and began sobbing like a baby. Confronted with the way Agda was shivering, Frida was quick to embrace her and try to calm her with some gentle caresses. The girl clung to the alchemist' dress as though she never wanted to part from her ever again.

After a few moments of that tight hug, Agda seemed to calm down. Despite her confusion, Frida gestured for Erandur and Steinarius to leave, then she remained alone with the girl. Only then did Agda confess everything she'd been through during that terrible night in the Midden.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Frida reached the room where Erandur and Steinarius were waiting for her. The alchemist looked very tired and immediately slumped down on a chair. The two men realized that her eyes were full of tears.

"The poor girl has gone through unspeakable things", the healer eventually whispered in reply to their questioning stares.

Frowning, Steinarius stopped pacing up and down the room. There was a moment of silence, then Frida spoke again.

"Agda was so shocked that she couldn't even talk properly", she sniffed as the first tears left her eyes. "She's very upset because she still doesn't remember how she got here, just like she still doesn't remember how she saved herself after her torturer dumped her in the Sea of Ghosts; but most of all, poor Agda is upset because of the tortures she endured.

"Agda was unconscious for most of the time she was tortured", Frida added after a long sigh. "Yet, by reliving her memories she could see everything her tormenter did to her. She just had to stand back and watch while this man electrocuted her, whipped her and disfigured her face".

After handing Frida a handkerchief, Steinarius tiredly rubbed his eyes - had he not turned into a werewolf that afternoon, he would have already started looking for whoever had caused Agda to suffer so much.

"Did the girl tell you why she wanted me and Steinarius to leave?", Erandur asked Frida, thus snapping the Dragonborn out of his thoughts.

"Agda was very shocked by her new scars; yet, that isn't the reason why she was so afraid of you two", Frida nodded while avoiding her companions' eyes. "She was terrified of you, Erandur, because her torturer was an Elf. But most of all, she was scared of you two because you are men, just like the person who tortured her".

It took a moment before those words finally cut their way through Steinarius and Erandur's minds. When they did, the priest pulled a terrified expression. The Imperial instead began shivering in rage.

"Tell me you don't mean..."

"I mean it, Erandur", Frida broke the Dunmer off. "Her torturer undressed Agda while she was unconscious, then he..."

Before Frida could finish her sentence, Steinarius had already left the room and slammed the door behind him. He'd never experienced anything like that: he was so angry that he felt as though he could change into a werewolf for the second time in less than six hours.

Willing to calm himself down before doing anything stupid, the Imperial reached his room and laid down on his bed. The only thing he wanted to do at that moment was slaying the rabid creature who'd hurt Agda that badly.

* * *

Steinarius remained alone until Frida knocked on his door and slowly made her way inside his room.

"Thanks Talos, you're here", the woman sighed in relief when she realized that Steinarius still hadn't left Nightcaller Temple. "I feared you'd do something inconsiderate".

"Killing whoever tortured Agda wouldn't be inconsiderate", the Dragonborn scoffed without leaving his bed. "It would be mercy towards humanity".

Steinarius had expected Frida to shiver at his harsh words; nonetheless, the woman surprised him by nodding in agreement.

"How is Agda now?"

"The poor thing is still very upset", Frida said, sadness well evident in her voice. "I had to give her two calming draughts so that she could finally get some sleep and stop crying. I doubt she'll ever forget what she's been through".

There was a moment of silence, then Steinarius asked Frida whether she knew why Agda had drunk Vaermina's Torpor without telling them about it. The girl' secrecy had impressed and worried him at the same time.

"Agda thought she was the only one who could understand her own memories", Frida explained with a sigh. "Also, she didn't tell us about her plans because she knew we would try to stop her. Oh, and by the way, the girl is very sorry for turning Erandur against you: with her lies about your conversation, she hoped she could convince the priest to take her to the alchemy room inside the temple. Unfortunately for us, her plan was a success".

Steinarius shook his head in disbelief. He was actually astonished by the way Agda had recklessly turned Erandur against him; also, he was impressed by the way she'd cunningly used his snappy personality for her own means.

"What did Agda tell you about her torturer?", the man asked after a brief pause. "And why did they torture her in the first place?"

"The girl told me that she received an important warning from some kind of monk", Frida readily replied. "She mentioned a mysterious danger looming over Winterhold and a weird thing called 'Eye of Magnus'. Although her explanations were quite slurred, she claimed she needs to reach the College and talk to the Archmage as soon as possible; unfortunately, right now she's still too weak to leave her bed, let alone face such a long journey".

"I'll get to Winterhold on her behalf", Steinarius promised. "First, however, I want to know who tortured her".

"Agda kept on repeating an Elven name - _Ancano_. If I understood correctly, the man you're looking for is a Thalmor spy who works as an advisor at the College".

Steinarius stood up from his bed and wrote Ancano's name on a scrap of paper. Now that he had a clear target, there was nothing that could prevent him from killing Agda's tormenter.

"I'll make sure that the bastard gets what he deserves", the Dragonborn swore after putting that piece of paper in one of the pockets of his breeches. Once he did that, the man began putting on his armor: he wanted to reach Winterhold as soon as possible.

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius remembered a question he'd often asked himself over the previous week - a question that involved Agda's unexpected arrival in Nightcaller Temple, Vigdis' scent in the courtyard and a possible connection between the two.

"Did Agda tell you anything else?", the man asked Frida while reflecting upon his irrational theory and wrestling with his cuirass at the same time. "Did she explain how she got here after being tortured?"

Without realizing how important that answer was to Steinarius, the old alchemist shook her head.

"Not even Vaermina's Torpor could help Agda remember her journey to Dawnstar. Actually, since you're already heading to Winterhold, I think it'd be nice if you could look a bit further into this matter: Agda is rather scared by this fact, and so am I. In my opinion, someone might have toyed with the poor girl's mind for some foul reason".

For a brief moment, Steinarius thought that Frida's answer actually supported his theory about Agda and Vigdis - after all, his former fiancée had always been very good at brewing potions; as a consequence, she could have effortlessly deleted a few selected memories from the young mage's mind. Also, Vigdis could have used her talents to make that change irreversible. Frowning at that possibility, the Imperial swore he would enquire about Agda's mysterious journey from Winterhold to Dawnstar.

Still lost in his thoughts, the Dragonborn kept on putting on his Blade armor. He was very surprised when Frida helped him strap on his gauntlet, and he was even more surprised when the woman provided him with some expensive potions. Steinarius thanked her, then he made a quick list of all the things he needed to do in Winterhold. After strapping his sword to his waist, however, the Imperial realized that he still couldn't leave - before heading for his destination, he namely wanted to bid Agda goodbye and let her know that he wasn't angry at her.

As soon as Steinarius cast her a sheepish glance, Frida realized what he was about to ask her.

"Agda is asleep now, so you will have to leave her a message if you want to to tell her that you've forgiven her for lying to Erandur about your conversation", the old alchemist informed him. "Also, you should write her an apology - I don't think she made _everything_ up".

Steinarius scoffed. Apparently, being observant was a common trait among the alchemists of Skyrim.

"Can I see her?"

Smiling in a mother-like way, Frida sighed. A moment later she grabbed the man by the elbow and led him towards Agda's room.

"You have to keep quiet and avoid waking her, otherwise you'll have to face my wrath", she said in a half-playful, half-serious whisper.

Steinarius nodded, then he gently pushed open the door to the room where Agda was resting. Trying not to disturb her, the Imperial took a step towards her bed and silently observed her.

Agda was sleeping, but her rest wasn't peaceful. Her face seemed fixed in a permanent frown, whereas her hands were spasmodically clutching around her blankets. When Steinarius heard her ask for her mercy, he realized that the girl was having a nightmare related to the tortures she'd endured.

Walking on his tiptoes, the Imperial reached Agda's bed and gently stroked her hair. As he softly caressed the young mage, Steinarius carefully analyzed her bruised cheeks, her swollen lips, her scarred forehead; he looked at her broken nose, at her sore arms, at the blood that still drenched the bandages around her chest; he focused on her frantic breathing, on the way her heart was drumming madly in her ribcage, on the way she winced in her sleep - and as he did, the Dragonborn forgot about his argument with Erandur, about his plans to save the world, about his impending fight with Delphine. Eventually, Steinarius even forgot his crazy theory about Vigdis: right then, all he could think of was killing the monster who had dared torture Agda.


	45. Join together

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, after a brief break here I am with a new update. First things first, I must thank all of you for your patience. Also, I thank Guest 1, Guest 2 and Valtieri for their reviews. Guests' impatience gave me the boost I needed to end this chapter; Valtieri's instead provided me with the usual excellent remarks. In particular, I do thank them for their kind and constructive critics about Erandur: I believe the priest to be a very interesting and complex character, so it was very useful to know that I didn't do him justice.**

 **While playing the Vaermina's quest in Skyrim, I actually noticed that Erandur sometimes seems to get angry at the Dragonborn; I wanted to exploit that fact for my story, but unfortunately I overdid it - like Valtieri pointed out, the words I had him use weren't actually very appropriate. As a consequence, over the next few days I'll take another look at chapter 44 and change at least a few out-of-character comments. So, once again thank Valtieri for your remarks!**

 **Today's chapter is a rather long one and describes Steinarius' search for Ancano. There are many characters involved, but hopefully it won't be too chaotic. Also, this instalment will hopefully provide you with some fun after all the sadness from the previous updates.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **14th of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

As he approached Winterhold, Steinarius tiredly rubbed his eyes. Ever since his chat with Agda, the man hadn't slept at all; as a consequence, the efforts from the previous hours were now catching up on him. His argument with Erandur, his anger after he'd discovered that Agda had been abused by her torturer, his worry at the fact that the girl still couldn't remember her journey to Dawnstar… All of that was preventing Steinarius from thinking straight. Nonetheless, the Imperial knew that he couldn't allow himself any rest: he needed to avenge Agda, and he needed to do it quickly. In order to achieve his goal, however, he first needed to find Ancano.

Steinarius had never been fond of Winterhold. In his opinion, the seat of the College was nothing but a skeever-hole ruled by one of the worst Jarls in Skyrim. Unfortunately, the man had no choice: if he wanted to help Agda, he needed to spend at least a couple of hours in that pathetic excuse for a city.

Upon reaching the main street of Winterhold, Steinarius immediately headed for his destination. When a guard ordered him to stop, the Dragonborn ignored him - he had important matters on his mind and didn't want to lose time with a zealant idiot who probably detested him just because he was an Imperial. Yet, when a dagger was pointed at his throat, Steinarius was forced to stop dead in his tracks.

"I told you to halt, stranger! Hands where I can see them, now!"

Groaning in anger, Steinarius ignored the order.

"Let me go", he snarled, his eyes golden with pure rage and irritation. "Let me go or..."

Before Steinarius could end the sentence, the guard's dagger was pressed against his neck.

"Shut up, Nord, or I'll kill you", the sentry hissed. "Now, if you don't want to end up in a prison guarded by two Storm Atronachs, you'd better do as you're told: raise your hands and stay still while I search you".

Sighing in exhasperation, Steinarius eventually followed the orders. A moment later, when that zealant guard started groping him through his breeches, the Imperial rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"You know, you should be more careful when you address someone by their race", Steinarius hissed while stifling the temptation of shouting that sentry to the other side of the street. "Also, you should be more careful with those hands of yours. I'm an Imperial, not a Nord - and as such, I highly value personal space".

Surprisingly enough, Steinarius' complaint caused the guard to straighten his spine. Moreover, it caused the stranger's rigid behavior to be replaced by a wide smile.

"By Mara, it's been ages since I last came across a countryman!", the sentry unexpectedly grinned. Now that he could look at him, Steinarius realized that the stranger had the tanned skin and the dark eyes of the inhabitants of Cyrodiil. "I'm sorry for mistaking you for a Nord. Actually, I should have realized that you're not from Skyrim: your accent clearly gives you away as an inhabitant of Kvatch, or maybe Chorrol; also, you don't smell like a dead horker at all".

Steinarius was deeply surprised by the fact that an Imperial like him had ended up patrolling the coldest city of Skyrim; yet, he was even more surprised when the guard - Herius, as he later discovered - told him the reason why he'd stopped him in the first place.

"I'm sorry if I annoyed you, but I needed to search you for hidden weapons and ask you a couple of questions", the sentry namely revealed. "You came from Dawnstar, therefore I want to know you whether you happened to meet a girl on your way here. She's not very tall and not very thin, has dark blond curls and big brown eyes. Also, she is probably wearing Restoration robes".

Realizing that Herius was talking about Agda, Steinarius frowned. Why was that man looking into her disappearance?

Willing to be careful, the Dragonborn decided to find out more about the guard's task.

"The poor thing is an apprentice from the College who disappeared about ten days ago", Herius explained as soon as Steinarius asked him who the missing girl was. "I don't usually investigate into this kind of things, but Agda is a true sweetheart: she treated me when I came down with Ataxia and believe me, she's the best healer this horrible city has ever had. As a consequence, I'd like to find out what happened to her".

Those words caused Steinarius to realize that, during her short stay in Winterhold, Agda had likely become Herius' favourite healer. Well acquainted with the girl's kindness, the Dragonborn wasn't surprised at all.

Overjoyed by the presence of another Imperial, Herius spent many a minute talking about how much he hated Skyrim. The guard explained that he'd moved there after getting married to a Nord girl who'd later dumped him, then began a long rant about Agda's disappearance and Jarl Korir's disinterest for the matter.

"The other guards and I would love to find Agda, but Korir doesn't want us to look into the problems connected to the College", the sentry namely complained. "The Jarl hates the mages and thinks that they want to destroy his city. Actually, he even went so far as to fire one of my colleagues – according to him, that woman was investigating too much into Agda's disappearance. Ever since then, that friend of mine is the only one who's still looking for that poor girl - and I'm the only one who's willing to help her".

Steinarius frowned: he was well aware of Korir's paranoia, but he'd never expected it to influence Agda's life; also, he was keen on finding out more about the mysterious woman who'd been fired because of her dedition to the healer's case.

In the hope that he was doing the right thing, the Dragonborn eventually confessed that he had some news about Agda's fate, thus convincing Herius to introduce him to his former colleague. Steinarius ardently wished that woman to turn into an ally and help him with his plans for revenge.

* * *

As soon as he discovered that the Dragonborn had some news about Agda, Herius immediately led him towards the _Frozen Hearth Inn_. The cozy tavern was empty but for the owner's wife, a beautiful woman by the name of Haran. Much to Steinarius' surprise, the innkeeper reacted to his appearance with a pleased cry.

"I so hope you came across our little Agda!", Haran said as soon as Herius told us that his countryman probably knew something about Agda's fate. "She's the sweetest person I've ever met, therefore I'd be very sorry if something had happened to her".

Once again, Steinarius was taken aback by the affection the people of Winterhold seemed to nourish for Agda. His surprise increased as soon as he reached the basement of the _Frozen Hearth Inn_ , the place where the mysterious woman who'd been fired because of her interest in the girl's disappearance had set up her headquarters.

The first thing Steinarius noticed upon reaching the basement was a strong smell of cheap ale. Making his way through the poorly lit room, the man tried not to stumble on the empty bottles scattered all over the place. Unfortunately for him, Herius had immediately closed the door to the staircase, thus leaving the Dragonborn alone in that dark room.

For a moment, Steinarius thought he'd fallen head-first into a trap organized by Ancano. When a woman emerged from the shadows, however, the Imperial understood that his fears had been completely ungrounded. Shocked by the sight of the beautiful Redguard in front of his eyes, the Dragonborn couldn't help but let his jaw drop open.

"Adaeze?!"

"Steinarius?!", the Redguard asked in disbelief.

Before the Imperial could overcome his surprise for that encounter, Adaeze did something completely unexpected: she grabbed a nearby bottle of mead, then she threw it at the man's head. Steinarius dodged the attack, but that sudden movement had him lose balance. Adaeze chose that moment to charge him with all her rage and her force and her fury.

The young Redguard was slightly shorter than Steinarius, but she was almost as strong – besides, she was much faster. As a consequence, by the time the Imperial could even understand what was happening, Agda's best friend had already pinned him to the ground and punched him twice in the face. Cursing at the way his lips split open after meeting Adaeze's fist, Steinarius miracolously scraped back to his knees. For a puzzling moment, his opponent just looked at him and smiled; then, taking advantage of the man's confusion, Adaeze used her knee to hit him very hard in a very private place. As he fell back to the ground, Steinarius felt as though the stars of Tamriel were making a crazy dance behind his closed eyelids. A second later, he realized that Adaeze had allowed him to stand up just because she wanted to give him that low blow in the nethers.

Despite Steinarius' pained whines, the woman's hunger for violence still wasn't sated. She namely forced her opponent to roll on his back, then she straddled him and resumed hitting him. Each of her slaps was punctuated by rageful shouts.

"HOW. DARE YOU. COME HERE. AFTER ALL. YOU DID. TO AGDA!"

When Adaeze's fist met his face for the umpteenth time, Steinarius growled in annoyance. Part of him actually agreed with the punishment the Redguard was inflicting on him; nonetheless, another part of the Imperial (the very same part that actually cared about his pretty face) thought that he'd already suffered enough at the hands of that rabid woman. Willing to find a way out of that situation, Steinarius relied on his special powers.

"Fus!", the Imperial said with as little strength as possible. Although that Shout had been meant to be very weak, it caused Adaeze to lose balance, thus allowing Steinarius to swap their position and pin the woman to the floor. As soon as the Dragonborn straddled her, the Redguard reacted with very loud protests.

"Get off of me, you psycho!", she cried out in rage. "If I ever get up from here, I'll make your eyes as black as a skeever's butt! And now leave me alone, you atrocious troll, you nasty horker, you…"

"Adaeze, you need to calm down, otherwise I won't free you until the end of the Fourth Era!", Steinarius hastily told the woman who was desperately writhing underneath him. "I didn't come here to get beaten: I came here because we need to talk about Agda. Actually, I'm here on her behalf".

Confronted with that unexpected news, Adaeze immediately stopped fighting. Steinarius was glad for that: his groin was still throbbing painfully, just like his face. The man was sure he'd gotten himself a black eye, a bloody nose and a split lip. Combined with the welt left by Hermaeus Mora's tentacles on his cheek, those marks probably made him look like a beaten up bandit.

"What do you mean that you're here on Agda's behalf?", Adaeze asked with a suspicious frown. Apparently, Steinarius' bruised face had temporarily calmed her need for violence. "After you broke up with her, that girl didn't want to talk to you anymore, let alone give you some tasks to fulfill. Why would she change her mind all of a sudden? And most of all, why did she leave Winterhold without telling anyone about her plans?"

Sighing, Steinarius got off Adaeze's body and helped her up to her feet – after all, the man wasn't at ease speaking to her while straddling her hips.

"I'm afraid we need to talk", the Dragonborn announced. Unlike him, Adaeze had escaped their fight completely unscathed and was now looking at him with a mixture of disgust and suspicion. "Agda has been tortured by someone who didn't show her any mercy. I'm here because I want to track down and kill the bastard who did that to her".

To Steinarius' relief, the news made Adaeze forget about their past misunderstandings. Fueled by worry and anger and astonishment, the woman visibly paled and asked him to explain everything he knew about Agda's troubles. As he began speaking, the Dragonborn secretly rejoiced: Adaeze had finally stopped using him as an overgrown punching ball.

* * *

Adaeze eagerly listened to Steinarius' tale. Impressed by the rageful tears that soon gathered in the Redguard's eyes, the man chose to spare her the most gruesome details.

"I can't believe someone did that to Agda", Adaeze shivered when the Dragonborn stopped talking. "She's the sweetest girl in Tamriel, who could be so heartless as to torture her?"

"Apparently, that bastard is a man called Ancano", Steinarius replied. Adaeze's question had meant to be rhetorical, but in that situation the finest points of speech were utterly lost on the Imperial. "I was wondering whether you had any information about him".

Adaeze hissed in anger.

"That pig! I knew he was up to something!". Confronted with Steinarius' confusion, the woman scoffed. "Ancano is your usual pompous Thalmor. Unfortunately for us, he left Winterhold two days ago to visit the Thalmor Embassy near Solitude. He won't be back before the end of the week".

Steinarius cursed: he'd neglected sleep in order to avenge Agda as early as possible, but his target had escaped his reach. His bad luck was definitely limitless.

For a moment, the man entertained the crazy thought of slaughtering Ancano inside the Thalmor Embassy. Although right then he was overcome with rage and disappointment, however, the Dragonborn immediately realized that he couldn't follow his instinct. Ever since his leisure stroll across the Embassy during one of Elenwen's parties, the amount of sentries in that place had namely been redoubled. In those circumstances, killing Ancano was going to be very difficult.

To say it all, there was another reason why Steinarius didn't feel like facing that wizard inside the Thalmor Embassy. The Dragonborn wanted Ancano to suffer as much as possible before being killed – and since Elenwen's house was full of guards, there was no way Steinarius could torture his victim as long as it pleased him. No, the Imperial realized: he would wait for that arrogant mage to return to Winterhold, then he would torture him until he eventually begged to be killed. After all Agda had suffered at the hands of Ancano, Steinarius thought that violence was the only way to avenge that poor girl.

* * *

Despite the hatred that was clouding his judgement, the Dragonborn hadn't forgotten the other reasons why he'd headed to Winterhold. As a matter of fact, Agda had never asked to be avenged – according to Frida, she'd simply asked Steinarius to enquire about her mysterious journey to Dawnstar and to warn the Archmage of Winterhold about an unspecified danger that was threatening the College. Deeming the latter request to be the most important, Steinarius asked Adaeze how he could speak to the leader of the only magic school of Skyrim. When the woman mentioned the admittance test of the College, the Imperial realized that his task was going to be much more difficult than predicted.

As he walked towards the seat of the only magic school of Skyrim, Steinarius couldn't help feeling impressed. The College of Winterhold was probably the most fascinating structure in the country: it was much bigger than Jorrvaskr, much more charming than Castle Dour, much more imposing than Dragonsreach. Also, it was one of the most guarded places of the land; as a consequence, there was no way Steinarius could get inside it without facing its sentries.

Painfully aware of that, the Imperial let out a sigh and took a step towards the bridge that connected the College to the main land. As a tall Altmer approached him, Steinarius nervously began chewing on the inside of his right cheek.

"Who are you, and what do you seek among these ancient walls?", the High Elf asked.

Steinarius furrowed his brow in surprise. He'd expected the woman to ask him to cast a spell, therefore he didn't know how to reply to that question.

 _I'm the former lover of one of your apprentices and I've come here to seek for revenge – worry not, however: I'll clean the mess after I'm done_ , he briefly thought.

Confronted with the man' silence, the Altmer began massaging her temples. She was likely used to people behaving that strangely.

"Let's just pretend that you answered my question", the woman sighed after waiting for Steinarius' reply for more than a minute. "Judging from your armor, I don't think you to be a wizard. As a consequence, you're here just because you probably want to talk to some of my colleagues inside the College. Am I right?"

Steinarius nodded – yes, more or less, that was what he actually wanted to do.

"I must talk to the Archmage", the Dragonborn eventually confessed. "It's a very important matter".

Much to his annoyance, the Altmer scoffed.

"Slow down, cowboy: the Archmage is very busy these days. Besides, he doesn't talk to just anyone".

Steinarius frowned. He could have told that woman – Faralda, as he later found out – that he had precious information about Agda, thus making everything easier for the two of them; nonetheless, the Imperial still didn't know whether he could trust her. As a consequence, he needed another way to enter the College and talk to the Archmage.

After a very brief brainstorming, Steinarius decided to reach his goal by taking advantage of his position as the Last Dragonborn. Years and years at the Blue Palace came very handy in that moment, as Steinarius simply had to imitate Erikur in order to look like a self-important maniac with a weird tendency for drama.

"You know, friend, I'm not just anyone", he said while pulling a rather offended expression. "Actually, I am but the mighty Dragonborn of legends. Let me talk to the Archmage, or I shall unleash my wrath on you".

Despite Steinarius' best dramatic tone, Faralda didn't look impressed at all - actually, the Altmer simply raised an eyebrow and let out an amused chuckle. Realizing that his plan had been a complete failure, Steinarius sighed: when it came to playing self-important politicians, he still had a lot to learn. Much to his dismay, the Imperial realized that there was only one way to prove that he was the Dragonborn: since he didn't know any spell, he had to rely on the power of the Thu'um. That was going to grant him an angry letter from Arngeir, but right then Steinarius couldn't care less.

"Yool", the Imperial whispered after coming to terms with that decision.

When a column of fire left the man's lips, Faralda couldn't stifle a surprised gasp. Steinarius grinned at her amusement, but that only caused him to misdirect the flames, thus setting a nearby banner of the College on fire. Despite his worries, Faralda didn't even notice that: she was completely, utterly fascinated by the legendary warrior in front of her eyes.

"I believe this is enough", she faintly whispered after Steinarius' display of power was over. "Savos Aren will speak to you immediately".

* * *

Steinarius nervously tapped his foot against the stone pavement of the stairs.

"The Archmage will receive you soon", Faralda told him upon noticing his distress. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting".

 _Sorry my ass,_ Steinarius thought. Although Faralda had warned the Archmage that she'd just found out more about Agda's destiny, Savos Aren had completely ignored the news and kept on discussing Illusion magic with two of his colleagues. That fact filled Steinarius with rage: how could the Dunmer care so less about his missing apprentice?

Before the Imperial's nervousness got out of control, the door to the Archmage's burst open. Without waiting for Faralda to introduce him, Steinarius made his way into the den of that arrogant mage. Under other circumstances, the Dragonborn would have been fascinated by the unnatural atmosphere of Aren's living quarters. By then, however, the long wait had made him unsensitive to that kind of details.

When Steinarius hastily stormed into his room, the Archmage of Winterhold was deep in conversation with two other wizards. One of them was an old mage with a long grey beard, the other one was a Breton woman with a rather stern expression. Upon seeing Steinarius, the three mages pulled very confused expressions.

"Faralda, who is this man?", the Breton wizard immediately asked her colleague.

Confronted with the careful gaze of that stern mage, Steinarius realized that he probably looked like a drunkard in fine armor: right then his eyes were partially golden because of his irritation, whereas his face was bruised because of the many slaps he'd received from Adaeze. Nonetheless, the Imperial was keen on being taken seriously.

"I know something about your missing apprentice", he said before Faralda could reply to her colleague's question.

There was a very embarrassing pause during which all the mages blinked in confusion. Confronted with Savos Aren's clueless expression, for a dreadful moment Steinarius thought that the Archmage was about to ask which of his many missing apprentices he was actually talking about. Luckily enough, Mirabelle Ervine prevented that from happening, thus sparing Steinarius the effort of keeping his werewolf in check.

"You have information about Agda?"

Steinarius nodded. The moment he'd been waiting for had finally arrived.

"The girl is currently in Dawnstar", he announced. "She's alive, but she couldn't travel to the College because of some injuries she's recently sustained; as a consequence, she asked me to give you a warning on her behalf".

As he tried to recall everything Frida had told him, Steinarius paused. Then, he cleared his throat and cast a very unconfident glance at the expert mages inside the room.

"The Eye of Magnus is dangerous and, should it be misused, the whole of Winterhold will be in danger", the Dragonborn said with its best stern tone. "At least, that's what the Augur of Dunlain thinks".

There was a long moment of silence, during which Steinarius nervously chewed on the inside of his cheeks. He didn't know what the Eye of Magnus was, just like he had no idea as to the identity of the Augur of Dunlain; nonetheless, he ardently hoped the mages had understood what he was talking about.

For an endless minute, Steinarius feared that Savos Aren and his colleagues believed he'd just made fun of them. Before one of the mages turned him into a skeever, however, Mirabelle Ervine shook off the surprise caused by the Imperial's words.

"You say that Agda couldn't travel here because she got injured", the Master Wizard of the College said while furrowing her brow. "What does that actually mean? And why did she leave Winterhold all of a sudden?"

Confronted with the green eyes of that observant woman, Steinarius was tempted to tell her the whole truth about Ancano. Mirabelle looked smart and clever and sympathetic; besides, according to Adaeze, the Breton had been the only member of the College to look into her pupil's disappearance.

Despite that pleasant impression, the presence of the other mages forced Steinarius to go against his instinct - for all he knew, Faralda and her colleagues might be Ancano's allies and prevent him from getting his vendetta. Scared by that simple thought, Steinarius decided to lie to them about Agda's fate.

"Your pupil sprained her ankle while she was collecting alchemy ingredients on the road to Dawnstar", he said while hoping the wizards to believe him. "I helped her with her injuries and she told me to come to Winterhold at once. However, I'm here to talk about the Eye of Magnus, not about Agda".

The mages in the room exchanged very skeptical glances. A moment later, when Mirabelle asked him what he knew about the Eye of Magnus, Steinarius candidly admitted the truth.

"I'm only here as a deputy on Agda's behalf: I can't cast a spell to save my life, so I have no idea what that Magnus thing is".

Steinarius' words raised another little discussion. The Imperial didn't understand any of it, a fact he blamed on the muffling spell the mages used in order to hide their conversation from him.

Eventually, Mirabelle Ervine stood up from her chair and took some steps towards the Dragonborn.

"Many things in your tale do not convince us, Imperial", she informed Steinarius. "Nonetheless, there is only one way to discover whether you're telling us the truth. If you'd be so kind to follow me, I'll talk to the Augur of Dunlain immediately: the oracle will know what happened to Agda".

Confronted with those words, Steinarius couldn't hide a relieved smile. Luckily enough, the mages of Winterhold had decided to give him a chance.

* * *

Steinarius' liking for Mirabelle increased after the woman fearlessly ventured into the Midden with him. While walking through that creepy dungeon, the two of them didn't encounter any enemy. Actually, the few creatures that dwelled in there had already been slain by someone who was apparently quite proficient with magic.

"These marks are usually left by fire runes", Mirabelle commented upon reaching a room where a few ice-wraith teeth were scattered on the floor. "It looks like you told us the truth: Agda did talk to the Augur about two weeks ago".

Confronted with those words, Steinarius deadpanned. The Midden was a dark and damp and dangerous place that gave the creeps even to a hardened warrior like him; as a consequence, he couldn't depict a fearful girl like Agda exploring it on her own.

"It looks like you don't know her very well", Mirabelle smirked when confronted with Steinarius' astonishment. "Agda is the best apprentice we've had in a while: she's an excellent healer, a good enchanter, a great alchemist; also, she's very skilled in Destruction and Conjuration. The last time I saw her, for example, she'd just summoned a Storm Atronach by herself. It doesn't surprise me that she ventured into the Midden on her own: after all, she was the one to discover the Eye of Magnus inside Saarthal".

Steinarius' eyes widened even further at that sudden revelation: in his opinion, Agda and Saarthal were the two most different things one could put together in the same sentence.

Despite his shock, the Dragonborn soon realized that Mirabelle was right: judging from the way her faint scent still reigned in most of the halls, Agda had really been inside the Midden – and upon reaching a weird room with a Daedric relic in its centre, all of Steinarius' doubts finally disappeared. It didn't take a werewolf to realize that the place was overrun by the strong scent of blood, just like it didn't take a genius to understand that the ruined clothes in the corner were Agda's Destruction robes.

Mirabelle let out a scared squeal at the discovery, then covered her mouth with her hands. Steinarius, on the other hand, began shivering in rage. As he walked through that little room, the man could almost smell Agda's desperation, could almost hear her desperate cries, could almost imagine what kind of tortures had caused her to lose so much blood; as a consequence, it took the Imperial all of his willpower to remain in control and not tun into a werewolf.

"It was Ancano, wasn't it?"

Steinarius nodded. He trusted Mirabelle and, when confronted with her horrified but hardened gaze, he understood that she loathed the Thalmor almost as much as he did.

"I'll make sure the bastard gets what he deserves", the Breton promised.

A moment later, the Master of Wizardry of the College left the room and finally met the Augur of Dunlain. Thanks to that ancient oracle and Agda's warning, she quickly discovered the danger Winterhold was running.

* * *

In the middle of the afternoon, a very determined Mirabelle reached an equally determined Steinarius in the courtyard of the College. The Breton had kept the information regarding Ancano to herself, then she'd enquired with the Archmage about the danger Winterhold was running. According to the experienced mages of the College, said danger could only be stopped by the Staff of Magnus. It took her almost two hours, but Mirabelle eventually managed to provide Steinarius with the alleged location of that item. Nodding in assent, the Imperial prepared to leave for Mzulft.

"I'll keep an eye on Ancano for you", Mirabelle promised him at that point. "He won't leave Winterhold unscathed".

Steinarius thanked the woman for her help, then walked back to the main street of Winterhold. Once there, he was welcomed by Adaeze. The Redguard was wearing her guard uniform and looked ready to spill blood.

"There's no way you're going to avenge Agda without me", the fierce warrior announced. "Therefore, if you're going to the Thalmor Embassy, I'm coming with you".

Steinarius frowned. He wasn't looking forward to retrieving the Staff of Magnus, and he wasn't looking forward to venturing into a dangerous ruin together with a helper.

"Adaeze, I need you to keep an eye on Ancano", he told the young Redguard. "And then, I'm not going to the Embassy".

The woman frowned in confusion.

"Where are you going then?"

"Mzulft".

"Bless you".

Shocked at the way Adaeze had mistaken the name of a Dwemer ruin for a sneeze, Steinarius rolled his eyes.

"Mzulft is a Dwemer ruin in the Rift", he explained. "I need to retrieve a weird staff hidden there".

"Is that thing going to help Agda?"

Steinarius confirmed with a nod.

"Then I'm coming with you", Adaeze proclaimed. "I'll leave Ancano to Herius: he's a decent fighter and will make sure that the bastard doesn't escape our wrath".

Sighing, Steinarius gave in. After brawling with Adaeze, he namely knew that Oblivion had no fury like an angry Redguard.

* * *

It was well past midnight when Adaeze and Steinarius finally reached their destination. The woman had managed to find two horses they could ride until Mzulft, a fact that had made their journey much faster than predicted. As he reached those ancient ruines, Steinarius sighed in relief: he was glad he could finally kill some creatures in order to let off steam.

Eager to get down to business, the Dragonborn hopped off his horse and immediately climbed the stairs that led towards Mzulft. Steinarius hated Dwemer buildings, therefore he wanted his little trip throughout that dungeon to last as little as possible.

"We have no time to explore", Steinarius said when Adaeze stopped to take a closer look at a fascinating fountain. "The sooner we get in, the sooner we get out".

"Fine, Imperial, we'll do this your way", the woman snorted. By then she was downright irritated by Steinarius' despotic attitude. "By the way, Dragonborn, I hope that theory of yours doesn't apply to what you do in bed; otherwise, I pity poor Agda".

Steinarius rolled his eyes: during their journey to Mzulft he had noticed that Adaeze seemed unable to talk to him without making continuous references to sex. The woman knew that said references made him uncomfortable and had immediately started taking advantage of that.

Despite his irritation, Steinarius quickly got a hold of himself and headed towards the doors to the ancient city of Mzulft. Before he could push them open, however, Adaeze stopped him by laying a hand on his shoulder.

"If you expect me to wear this armor and survive a Dwemer ruin at the same time, you're deadly wrong", she said while pointing at the cuirass the Winterhold guards usually sported. "Me, I do my best with leather".

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius furrowed his brow in confusion. Realizing that he hadn't taken the hint, Adaeze rolled her eyes.

"Men like you always need a woman to tell them what to do", she dramatically sighed. "I have my leather armor in my knapsack and I need some modesty to put it on. Would you please turn around, Steinarius?"

Embarrassed by that request, he Dragonborn obliged. He listened to the sound of Adaeze's armor falling on the ground, then he closed his eyes to fight off temptation. Part of his mind namely suggested he turned around and took a look at that stunning Redguard; another part of Steinarius, instead, reminded him of the ache he still felt in his groin. _This morning we received enough kicks in the nethers for a lifetime, didn't we?_ , that part of the Imperial's mind whispered. Nodding in agreement, Steinarius immediately gave up his wicked plans about Adaeze.

"You've even closed your eyes, you really are a sweetheart", the Redguard said once she was done putting on her leather armor. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're a virgin. Don't worry, however: Agda told me everything about your bedtime adventures, so I know that you're not as innocent and chivalrous as you look".

Steinarius snorted in exhasperation. When Adaeze walked up to him, however, his annoyance was quickly replaced by astonishment.

"A Thieves Guild armor?", he asked, his eyes wide with surprise. "Seriously?"

The Redguard shrugged.

"There are men who fall asleep every time someone strokes their hair for more than thirty seconds and there are women who steal for a living. I guess no one is perfect".

Steinarius scoffed. He could definitely relate to the men Adaeze had just described.

"Is there a tiny chance that Agda didn't tell you everything about my relationship with her?", he asked with a dramatic tone.

Adaeze gave the Imperial a wide, mischievous grin. Before she could talk, however, Steinarius stopped her with a gesture.

"Forget my question, I already know the answer", he sighed in defeat. The man made to push open the entry to Mzulft, but he changed his mind as soon as he placed a hand on the doors. "But seriously, Adaeze, a thief-turned-guard? You must be kidding me!"

The Redguard chuckled.

"I'm a woman of many talents, Crepusculus – and stealing is only one of them. Now, if you'd be so kind to wash that shocked expression off your face, I think we're ready to go".

Before Steinarius could reply, Adaeze opened the doors of Mzulft in his stead. As she did, every trace of amusement fell from her face. The time for playfulness was over: if they wanted to find the Staff of Magnus and make it out of that ruin alive, Adaeze and Steinarius needed to fight at the best of their skills.


	46. Starlight

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, the special shout-outs of the week go to Valtieri, LadyBugLissa, BAddogs, Elspeth and all my new followers/favoriters. You really do spoil me with your lovely comments and support! In particular, the last line of LadyBugLissa's review had me melt like an ice cube in the desert. Speaking of which, I'd like to take this chance to point out a thing or two about my storytelling. First, this fic still has a long way to go, as it will end in about 30 chapters. Second, over the last few months I've begun writing an Oblivion-centered fic. It is pretty much on hiatus, but if you're interested in fluffy romances with a lot of drama you can take a look at it on my profile page (*shameless self-promotion ends*).** **As for Valtieri's review, I absolutely adore the name they've chosen for poor Stein. That Imperial has been called many things ("goofy golden-retriever" and "smug face" are among my favourites) and Perenially Confused perfectly fits the list. As for Adaeze, I'm glad Valtieri noticed how fierce and oblivious to danger she is. Oh, and I did find out about Aren's missing apprentices, although that happened entirely by chance. The story behind them is so interesting, I'm sad they eventually chose not to make a quest out of it!** **On to BAddogs' review, I'm glad I got you hooked to the story. Also, I'm happy to announce that from now on we'll see quite a lot of action on Steinarius' side: we still haven't seen him fight and that's something I definitely want to change.** **As for Elspeth, I'm very glad that you found the time to read some chapters of my story and tell me what you think about them. It's so good that you caught up! (and yes, it's mean of me to publish another chapter just after you achieved this goal)**

 **Anyway, on to the story: my life has been rather hectic over the last few weeks, so from now the updates may become less frequent. That being said, this instalment shows us a part of Steinarius and Adaeze's adventure in Mzulft. I found that quest to be rather boring, so I directly moved to the interesting part: our two warriors are in the oculory of the dungeon and are desperately trying to get the Dwemer machinery to work.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **18th of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

Steinarius looked at the weird Dwemer machinery above his head. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, the Imperial sighed: he couldn't remember the last time he slept, just like he couldn't remember the last time he breathed the fresh air of Skyrim. In addition, his throat was hurting because of all the Shouts he'd used over the previous hours. Nonetheless, before getting some rest the Dragonborn was set on making the oculory of Mzulft work: Winterhold was in danger, so he had no time to lose.

"Yool", Steinarius hissed despite the pain. As a column of fire escaped his lips, the Imperial had to fight back the tears: after that Thu'um-overdose, he feared that his throat would never be the same again.

When the Dwemer machinery produced a weird creaking sound, Steinarius snorted in defeat: for the umpteenth time in that long day, the damned thing had moved in the wrong direction. As he realized that, the Dragonborn cursed the dwarves for their complicated inventions; a moment later, he insulted himself for being utterly unable to cast any spell. Right then some magic skills would have definitely come in handy.

"It looks like you're working really hard, honey".

As Adaeze made her appearance in the wide room where he was standing, Steinarius eventually gave in to tiredness: he sat down on the floor, then he ran his hand through his sweaty hair.

"Are you really that warm?", Adaeze asked him. The woman was wrapped in a warm fur, whereas Steinarius was wearing only an unbuttoned shirt and light breeches.

"You'd be warm too, had you spent the last few hours of your life shouting fire at a cursed machine".

Adaeze chuckled, then took place near Steinarius.

"The mighty Dragonborn is afraid of the Dwemer", she joked while singing to a childish tune.

Annoyed by that behavior, Steinarius snorted.

"I'm not afraid of the Dwemer: I'm just irritated by this whole situation", he pointed out. With a sigh, the Imperial then proceeded to resume everything he and Adaeze had been through over the previous three days. "We got here more almost a week ago, we met a dying mage from the Synod in the very first room of these ruins, we discovered that the unlucky fellow was here with many other wizards", Steinarius quickly recalled. "We later made our way through ungodly dangers in order to find the last survivor from the Imperial expedition, all while walking past rotting corpses and fighting those stinky Falmer; during our leisure stroll I was almost boiled to death by a Dwemer centurion, whereas you were poisoned by a chaurus; yet, we didn't slow down our pace because we hoped to save the last wizard from the Synod from certain death - and now that we've found him, that stupid Paratus guy simply tells me that this machinery is called 'oculory' and immediately falls asleep, thus ignoring that I can't cast any spell, that our focusing crystal is not working and that Winterhold is in danger. You're completely wrong about me, Adaeze: I'm not scared by the Dwemer - I'm downright mad at that arrogant mage and this stupid machinery".

Confronted with Steinarius' complaints, Adaeze chuckled.

"Where do I fit in your tale?", she said while mischevously winking at the Imperial. "You did say that I was poisoned, but you didn't mention that you had to carry me throughout the last few chambers of this place".

"You didn't get poisoned willingly", Steinarius scoffed in reply. "That's why I can't get mad at you"

Adaeze laughed at the regret in the Imperial's voice, then she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for your patience, Steinarius of Kvatch: you really are a darling".

Steinarius scoffed, but didn't pull away. He had to admit that he and Adaeze formed a very good team: during their adventure the woman had covered his back thanks to her perfect aim, whereas the Imperial had used his sheer force to dispatch enemies in close combact. Thanks to their different fighting styles, while venturing into Mzulft the two warriors hadn't encountered any problem – at least, that was until Adaeze had got poisoned by a Chaurus. Luckily enough, Steinarius had been quick to give her a healing potion and carry her towards Paratus' den, which was located in the last chamber of the dungeon. Once there, the Redguard had immediately fallen asleep, whereas the Dragonborn had started working on the focusing crystal he'd found during his adventure. Paratus, on the other hand, had burst into tears of joy.

"You were really good to me, Steinarius", Adaeze said, thus snapping the Imperial out of his memories. "It was my first time inside a Dwemer ruin, but you went comfortably easy on me. You even asked me to look away every time we met a corpse, which was incredibly chivalrous".

Steinarius didn't reply: he'd got used to Adaeze's provocations, so he was now completely immune to them. When the man ignored her, the Redguard chuckled.

"You know what you'd need right now? _Agda_. I'm sure that she could bring a happy wide smile on that depressed pretty face of yours".

Steinarius rolled his eyes in annoyance: he hated it when Adaeze made those references to his past relationship with Agda. Also, he hated to see just how relaxed the Redguard was.

"Adaeze, I know that you only care about sex and that you believe the rest of Tamriel to behave in the same way as you, but you should know that I…"

"Steinarius, what is your naughty mind thinking of?", the woman said while pulling a surprised face. "Agda isn't just your former lover - she is also a rather good mage; as a consequence, she would help you with that machinery in no time, thus putting you out of your misery. By the way, Imperial, I really am surprised: from what you've just told me, I take it that you think about sex almost as much as I do; also, I take it that you and Agda definitely had a wonderful time in her little cozy bedroom in Riverwood".

"As if you didn't know that already".

Confronted with that confession, Adaeze grinned.

"I _did_ suspect you to be much naughtier than you look, but I'd never thought you could reach such levels of..."

As he heard those words, Steinarius let out a tired sigh.

"Adaeze, I was talking about my feelings for Agda", he pointed out. "You perfectly know that she isn't just one of many to me - that's why I came here on her behalf and that's why I remained by her bedside until she finally regained consciousness. Believe me, I wouldn't do that just for everyone".

"So you still do care about my friend!"

Before Steinarius could cut her off, Adaeze spoke again.

"Too bad that Agda isn't here to hear you, Steinarius", the woman said with a mischievous grin. "You know, until a couple of days ago I couldn't get why a clever girl like her had fallen for a brainless guy like you. Now, however, I think I understand. You are a very good fighter, Crepusculus, and sometimes you are incredibly sweet and romantic. Also, with that unbuttoned shirt and that blonde stubble, you are a sight for sore eyes".

"Adaeze, you're objectifying me".

"I'll show you the meaning of _objectifying_ in a second, love", the Redguard said with an amused smile. A moment later, the woman did something Steinarius wasn't expecting: she cupped his face, then she placed a playfully loud kiss on his lips.

The Imperial immediately freed himself from that undesired contact, then wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. As Adaeze met his shocked expression, she immediately burst into laughter.

"Don't be such a whiner", she joked after poking the man in the ribs. "I'm some kind of Hargraven! And then, _I_ should be the one to complain: I expected the Dragonborn to feel like ash and fire and power, but you only taste of sweat. Also, your lips seem covered in blood. If I'm to tell the truth, kissing you was surprisingly disappointing".

"Well, thank you, Adaeze", Steinarius snorted. "You really are a darling. By the way, it is my throat that is covered in blood, not my lips: I've been shouting myself raw over the previous few hours. Unlike you, I haven't forgotten that Winterhold is in danger".

Reminded about the threat to her city, the Redguard rolled her eyes.

"We were having a moment here, you skeever-brain!", she protested. "Agda is definitely right: you have a special talent for ruining occasions like this".

Before Steinarius could reply, Adaeze stood up from the floor and hushed him.

"I've slept for most of the afternoon, or night, or whatever time it is", she announced. "Now it's your turn to rest while I look for a way to make this damned machinery work".

Under Steinarius' confused gaze, Adaeze started patrolling the oculory of Mzulft. When she found what she was looking for, she gave a pleased squeal.

"Spell tomes!", she proudly told the Imperial. "Flames and ice, if I see correctly".

Steinarius was quick to tame the girl's enthusiasm.

"I've already read them", he sighed, disappointment well evident in his voice. "Couldn't make out a single sentence of it, that's why they're still there".

Adaeze welcomed the news with a shrug.

"That's because you have the same magical skills as a horker. Luckily for you, I happen to know a spell or two".

When Adaeze produced a tiny column of flames in order to prove her words, Steinarius' eyes widened in shock.

"Let me understand: I spent the last five hours of my life shouting my lungs out at that horrible machinery, while you perfectly knew how to…"

Adaeze chuckled at the outraged expression the Dragonborn was wearing at that moment.

"That's because you always go for the difficult path, love. Now relax and let me fix this thing, will ya?"

Steinarius shook his head in disbelief: he could have slept for the whole day just like Paratus and Adaeze, instead he'd used the power of the Thu'um more times than he could actually remember. If Arngeir could see him at that moment, the Greybeard would surely forget his traditional calm and use the whole strength of his voice to tell the Imperial off. That episode, however, taught Steinarius one important lesson: sometimes it was good to rely on other people.

* * *

Despite Adaeze's confidence, not even her spells could make the Dwemer oculory work properly. As a consequence, the Redguard soon lost her temper and reached Paratus Decimius in the small room right beneath the complicated machine she'd been working on for an hour. The old mage from the Synod was the only one of his colleagues who had survived the exploration of Mzulft. He'd looked downright scared when Steinarius first reached him, then he'd burst into a desperate cry at the discovery that all his friends had died. A moment later, however, Paratus had done something completely unexpected: he'd shown the Dragonborn the oculory, then he'd fallen asleep on a bedroll.

 _Now that I know that all the Falmer around here are dead, I can finally get some rest!_ , the man had sighed in relief shortly before drowsiness took him over.

Steinarius had actually been happy at the way Paratus had drifted into Vaermina's embrace: just like most of the Companions, he didn't trust any mage except for Mirabelle Ervine and Agda. Now, however, the Dragonborn was tired of fighting with that stupid Dwemer oculory; as a consequence, when a livid Adaeze went to rise Paratus, he met her decision with a pleased nod.

When the girl woke him with a powerful kick in the ribs, Paratus let out a shrill scream. As the Redguard started shouting insults at that old mage, Steinarius rubbed his weary eyes: his werewolf blood allowed him to avoid sleeping for a few days in a row, but that didn't mean that he never felt tired. Lulled by Adaeze's rageful shouts, the man eventually laid on his back and closed his eyes.

For a long moment, Steinarius still saw the focusing crystal he'd tried to modify with his Shouts. A moment later, the man found himself thinking of the beautiful Orrey of the Imperial City – the very same Orrey the Heroine of Kvatch had fixed during one of her many adventures.

Yawning, Steinarius recalled observing that wonderful structure when he was a kid, he recalled asking his father for a toy depicting the stars of Nirn, he recalled the way his mother had eventually provided him with a little instrument that could mirror the summer moonlight, thus projecting every constellation of Tamriel on the tall ceiling of her son's bedroom. At that point, Steinarius' eyes snapped open: he'd finally understood what he was supposed to do with the oculory of Mzulft.

* * *

Adaeze and Paratus watched in disbelief as the Dragonborn produced a rapid series of Shouts aimed at the focusing crystal in the middle of the weird Dwemer machinery above his head. Steinarius was covered in sweat and was now wearing a tiny Talos amulet around his neck.

"It helps me shout more often", he revealed once confronted with Adaeze' surprised stare. "I usually keep it hidden under my armor, but this isn't the time to be discreet".

As soon as he was done talking, Steinarius produced the umpteenth column of ice of the day, then immediately ran to the levers controlling the Dwemer machines inside the room. He fiddled with those complicated gears for a few minutes, all while keeping his grey eyes fixed on a ray of moonlight that was entering the oculory through the ceiling. At last, the Dragonborn grinned – and a second later, the whole chamber was overrun by the dim light of the stars of Skyrim.

Adaeze gaped in awe at the beautiful pattern the moonlight formed in the upper part of the oculory. When said light produced a perfect map of Tamriel on a nearby wall, the Redguard couldn't believe her eyes: she'd never seen anything that beautiful. Also, she'd never believed Steinarius Crepusculus could be even smarter than an experienced mage from the Synod.

* * *

After Steinarius pushed open the doors leading outside Mzulft, he closed his eyes and finally breathed in the cold air of Skyrim. Despite the relief that immediately washed over him, the Imperial knew that he couldn't rest – the oculory had shown him that Winterhold was in great danger, therefore he couldn't allow himself any moment of hesitation.

By Steinarius' side, Adaeze looked equally determined. She'd watched in awe as the Imperial'd found the way to use the oculory, then she'd listened to Paratus' worrying speech about the College of Winterhold being in danger. When that mage had dared accuse her and Steinarius to steal his discovery, however, the Redguard had lost it: she'd punched him in the face, then she'd helped Steinarius put on his cuirass. The man hadn't complained – actually, she'd thanked her for the help and for the way she'd kicked out that pompous Paratus guy.

"I hope our horses haven't escaped", Steinarius frowned as he began walking towards the paved road that connected Windhelm to Riften. "We need to get to Winterhold as soon as possible".

"I picked the most loyal steeds of Winterhold, so we will find them exactly where we left them", Adaeze reassured him. "Also, I've got you some food: you look in need of something to eat, love".

As Steinarius saw the apple-pie Adaeze was offering him, his eyes widened in surprise.

"How…"

"I was a thief, remember? And this pie happened to be in Paratus' knapsack. I also got you a bottle of mead and used an old hammer to repair your damaged gauntlets. That Blade armor looks great, but it's probably as old as Oblivion itself".

Steinarius smiled, then he heartily thanked Adaeze.

"Without you, I would have died of hunger during my ride towards Winterhold", he admitted.

"Without me, you wouldn't have ridden to Winterhold at all", the Redguard replied. "You would have _walked_ ".

Steinarius laughed at Adaeze's remark. It was good to go adventuring with her: the Redguard was strong and swift and clever, she was fun and careful and observant, she was good with a bow and with daggers and with her bare hands. Also, she'd reassured Steinarius by telling him that nope, that Psijic Monk outside the oculory hadn't been a figment of his imagination.

"That guy seemed surprised at meeting us", the Imperial pointed out. By now he and Adaeze had reached the lower entrance to Mzulft. "Do you think he was talking about Agda when he said that our helper pointed us towards the right path?"

Adaeze nodded.

"Agda did tell me about meeting a weird monk in Saarthal. Now I feel sorry for not believing her: that girl would never make up lies about something so important as…"

"HAND OVER YOUR VALUABLES OR I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!"

When that shrill shout reached his ears, Steinarius immediately went for his sword. Adaeze, nonetheless, was quick to lay a hand over his, thus preventing the Dragonborn from unsheating his weapon. The Redguard gave him a very eloquent look, then she raised her hands and walked towards the young Argonian thief who'd just appeared from behind a Dwemer column. Steinarius had been too deep in conversation to notice his scent, a fact that he was sincerely regretting.

"Easy, brother", Adaeze said with a calm smile. "I'm from the Guild myself. How's good old Delvin doing?"

The Argonian thief produced a hissing sound.

"I don't know who that Delvin guy is, but one thing I know: I've never seen you before".

Despite the danger coming from that clearly distressed criminal, Adaeze kept on smiling.

"That's because I left the Guild a few months ago; nonetheless, you can clearly see that my armor…"

The Redguard never got to finish that sentence: as her opponent swiftly stabbed her in the ribs, she could only bend forward and widen her eyes in shock.

* * *

Steinarius watched the scene unfold at very low speed: he saw the Argonian thief make a rapid move, he saw his dagger shine in the dim moonlight, then he saw Adaeze bend forward; he heard the whooshing sound the enemy's weapon produced after being unsheathed, he heard the way it cut through the woman's armor, he heard the Redguard' surprised cry; then, Steinarius saw Adaeze fall to the ground, her eyes huge with surprise and pain and fear. Right then, the Dragonborn felt his body respond to instinct – and before he could even realize it, his sword had swiftly beheaded the Argonian who'd dared stab his friend.

Steinarius wasn't bothered by the way the criminal's blood sprayed his face, just like he wasn't bothered by the way his headless body fell to the ground; right then, all he could think of was Adaeze.

When he slowly turned her on her back, the Redguard whimpered in pain. Her usual confidence had vanished from her face, which was now pale and covered in tears.

"I… I thought…"

"Sssh", Steinarius hushed her. "I got you, Adaeze".

As he spoke, the Dragonborn looked at the wide gash in the woman's armor. Adaeze's been stabbed just below the ribs and was losing an impressive amount of blood. Fighting the urge to curse, Steinarius pressed a hand against her wound and gathered the woman in his arms. When Adaeze didn't make any naughty comment about that intimate contact, the Dragonborn realized that she was doing even worse than he thought.

Spurred by urgency, Steinarius used a Shout to move faster along his path. When he reached the paved road towards Winterhold, however, the man realized he had no idea what to do. As he noticed that Adaeze had just lost consciousness, Steinarius loudly cursed: in those days, it looked like everyone he cared about was doomed to have a close-encounter with death – and whereas Agda was now out of danger, the man feared that Adaeze wouldn't be that lucky.

As he looked around in confusion, Steinarius felt powerless: he was the mighty Dragonborn, but he seemed unable to find a way to prevent Adaeze from dying in his arms.

"Don't you dare do this to me", he hissed at the unconscious woman. "Don't you dare die on me, otherwise I'll…"

When he caught the glimpse of a steel weapon amidst the tall trees at the side of the road, Steinarius stopped talking. A moment later, he bid his usual indecision goodbye and asked for help.

"I've seen your sword, so there's no point in hiding!", he shouted while looking at the point where the weapon had shone in the darkness for a very brief moment. "I don't care who you are, or what you do for a living: just know that I'll pay you more money than you can count if you help me save my friend!"

There was a moment of silence, during which Steinarius feared he'd just talked to a bunch of angry bandits or Daedra worshippers. When a young soldier stepped out of the trees, however, the Dragonborn couldn't believe his luck.

He'd just come across the Imperial Camp of the Rift.

* * *

As Steinarius followed that young recruit towards their goal, he couldn't help but notice all the details that had once been as familiar to him as the chirping of birds in the mornings – he noticed the smell of stew inside the camp, he heard someone complain about the forced inactivity, he even saw the uncomfortable tents where the youngest soldiers lived and slept. Eventually, the Dragonborn reached the area where injured people were usually tended to.

"There's a wounded woman here", the recruit who'd helped Steinarius shouted while approaching the healers' tent. "She's been stabbed and she's losing a lot of blood! We need help!"

Frowning, a healer with a very long beard stood up from a stool outside his tent and walked up to Adaeze. When he noticed that she wasn't a member of the Legion, the man scoffed.

"I don't do strangers", he mumbled without even looking Steinarius in the eyes. "If you want to heal this woman, you must get to Riften: I can't waste potions on someone I don't even know".

Steinarius protested with the raw force of desperation.

"I can't get her to Riften! She'll die before I even make it back to the main road!"

The healer seemed unbothered by the pain in Steinarius' voice.

"Not my problem", he simply shrugged.

Angered, Steinarius felt his irises slowly change color. At the same time, he saw the boy who had led him to the camp disappear behind an old tent. _Coward_ , the Dragonborn mentally insulted him.

"If not for this woman, do it for me", the Dragonborn begged that old healer who was toying with Adaeze's life in such an irresponsible way. "My name is Steinarius Crepusculus and I'm a former Captain of the Legion. My father is Legate Cornelius Crepusculus, whereas my grandfather…"

"I don't care who you are, boy: I won't do anything unless my superior orders me to. And if my superior doesn't order me to heal this woman, then I'll..."

"What is going on here?"

Surprised by the arrival of a newcomer, Steinarius and the healer turned their heads to the right. At that point, the older mage visibly paled.

"Sergeant Haroldson, I can explain!"

"There's nothing to explain: you won't cure this woman just because you're a stupid asshole", the recruit who'd led Steinarius to the camp suddenly stepped in. Apparently, that young boy had gotten away from the Dragonborn not because he was scared, but because he was looking for someone who could help him with that stubborn healer. Now that he'd reached his aim, that brave recruit had immediately come back to the Dragonborn. Steinarius was deeply thankful for that.

"Enough, Lucillius", the sergeant broke the young boy off.

As the mysterious officer spoke, Steinarius furrowed his brow - for some reason, that voice was strangely familiar. Amoment later, when the Dragonborn gave the sergeant a closer look and noticed a pair of big calm eyes beneath a mane of brown hair, his jaw suddenly dropped open.

"Hadvar?!"

The Nord looked confused for a second, then took a step closer to Steinarius. The lantern he was holding immediately cast its light on the Imperial's upset face.

"By Talos, it's you!", Hadvar screamed as he recognized his former superior. A moment later, the Nord looked at the unconscious woman the Dragonborn was holding in his arms.

When he realized who that poor Redguard was, Hadvar felt on the brink of fainting; nonetheless, he was quick to summon the best healers of the camp and ask them to cure the woman he'd once been madly in love with.

There was no way Adaeze could pass away on his watch.


	47. Containment

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new update. First things first, let me thank all my new followers/favoriters/reviewers. Second of all, let me thank the great Valtieri and Elspeth for their amazing support. I'm glad you enjoyed the plot twist at the end of the previous chapter!**

 **As for Valtieri's remarks, Adaeze definitely knows how to be overbearing. Yet, I'd like to point out that she is like that only when she's with Steinarius and that her behavior is connected with her plan to take revenge on the Imperial for everything he did to Agda. After all, my favourite Redguard is very good at holding grudges! As far as Delphine is concerned, she'll soon return to our story - and that will be a veeery interesting moment.**

 **As for Elspeth's review, I really can't tell you how glad I am that you caught up with this story. Apropos, I've decided this fanfic will likely be updated once every one or two weeks, depending on the length of the chapters - unfortunately, work is a boring and dull thing that keeps me from writing. As for Hadvar and Adaeze's reunion, I felt I needed to resume their storyline - and that was the perfect moment to do it.**

 **As far as today chapter goes, over the last few weeks we've seen what Steinarius has been up to ever since he left Dawnstar for the College. But what has our little Agda been doing in the meantime? Let's find out in this instalment.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **20th of Heartfire, 4E 202**

As she looked at the ceiling of her room, Agda snorted in impatience: just a few more minutes, then she'd finally be ready to carry out her plan.

With a loud sigh, the Nord carefully turned on her side. She was downright worried: it'd been a week since she partially recovered her memory and it'd been a week since Steinarius left for Winterhold. After all that time, the young mage still had no idea of what was happening at the College. Since that lack of news was quite upsetting, Agda felt bound to abandon Dawnstar and take matters into her scarred and sore hands.

As predictable, Erandur and Frida weren't fond of the girl's plan to leave Nightcaller Temple: according to them, Agda was namely too weak to travel to Winterhold and needed at least another week of utter rest. Moreover, the healers believed that the young Nord still wasn't ready to return to the place where she'd almost met her end. Agda, however, had a completely different opinion.

Tossing and turning in her bed, the mage let out a soft whine. Despite her improvements she was still feverish, whereas her broken ribs made it impossible for her to walk fast without grimacing. Her left eye was still bluish and swollen and she couldn't sleep because of her nightmares. On top of that, the girl still hadn't remembered how she got to Dawnstar and was having trust issues because of the ugly scars that now marred her face. Nonetheless, even if she still hadn't recovered fully, Agda was determined to sneak out of Nightcaller Temple and reach Winterhold before dawn - and in order to escape Frida and Erandur' surveillance, the girl had come up with a very complicated plan.

After she'd regained her memory, for two days Agda had been completely unable to do anything but cry. Then, however, the young woman had pulled herself together. She'd begun by allowing Erandur in her room so that he could cure her - although he was a man and an Elf, the poor priest namely had no blame in what had happened to her. On the following day, Agda had asked for permission to use the alchemy lab inside the temple. Mindful of her accident with Vaermina's Torpor, Frida and Erandur never let the young Nord alone in that place; yet, despite their tight surveillance, over the previous days Agda had managed to brew all the potions she needed to escape Dawnstar and make it to Winterhold without problems. In compliance with the girl's plan, most of those draughts ended up in Frida' shop - some others, however, found their home in a little knapsack Agda had retrieved from the old cupboard inside her room. Thanks to the mage's efforts, that well-hidden bag was now full magicka and healing potions, of invisibility and calming draughts, of painkillers and paralysis vials. The knapsack also contained the blue mage robes Agda had found during a little stroll across the temple; the girl had enchanted them with very powerful spells and had later asked Frida to create a special mask that could hide her whole face apart from her eyes. Thanks to those clothes and to the potions she'd carefully hidden over the course of the previous week, Agda hoped she could leave Nightcaller Temple and make it to Winterhold on her own.

When Erandur's loud snores eventually reached her sensitive ears, the young Nord was snapped out of her thoughts. A moment later, Agda smiled to herself in the darkness: it was finally time she acted.

Taking advantage of the priest' heavy sleep, the girl slowly left her bed and got dressed. Every movement caused her a lot of pain, but Agda was so keen on reaching the College that she didn't even realize it. After putting on her clothes and her knapsack, the young mage drank an invisibility potion and left her den. When she saw that Frida was asleep in a chair right outside her room, Agda grinned: the sleeping potion she'd poured into the woman' stew was definitely proving to be effective.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, the girl bid Frida a silent goodbye and ventured into the long corridor to her left. When she finally reached the doors to the outside world, Agda turned towards the little Mara shrine inside the hall of the temple and murmured a short prayer. In that moment she felt nor pain, nor fear: in that moment, she only wished she could join her friends in Winterhold and finally have the upper hand in her fight against Ancano.

* * *

The night was cold and dark, but luckily for Agda it wasn't snowing. After covering her face with her special mask and putting on her blue hood, the girl immediately left for the College. While venturing into the North, the young mage felt very nervous: she drank a few healing potions to fight off the tiredness in her bones, then she started walking in a very slow and careful way. Luckily for her, that night the Divines were definitely on her side: after a few minutes in the wilds, Agda namely came across two very familiar figures.

The young mage perfectly remembered the twins she'd met in Dawnstar after her adventure in Fellglow Keep - and she was glad they remembered her too.

"Hey, I know you!", the taller of the brothers cried out when Agda came into his visual field. "Your Redguard friend gave me a wonderful time in Dawnstar!"

As she remembered that Adaeze and Farkas had spent a night of passion together, Agda couldn't help but smile awkwardly.

"Brother, you are embarrassing her", the other twin luckily intervened. "Your name is Agda, isn't it?"

As she looked at Vilkas' perfect features and mirrored herself in his perfect silver eyes, Agda nodded and shook the hand the man was stretching towards her. That warrior was probably the most handsome Nord she'd ever met; also, he was likely one of the deadliest fighters in the whole country.

"I'm sorry if my brother somehow offended you", Vilkas continued after a short break. "By the way, it is curious to meet a young mage from Winterhold at this time of the night".

Willing to come up with a decent lie, Agda told the twins that she'd got lost while looking for alchemy ingredients. When she said she was heading back to Winterhold, the men agreed to accompany her for a while. Hiding her grin behind her face mask, the girl silently thanked Mara: it looked as though her little prayer had not been in vain.

* * *

Unfortunately, Agda soon found out that being escorted through the wilds by two werewolves wasn't actually as good as it sounded. Farkas namely spent a lot of time mentioning the scent of the creatures that were moving nearby - and when he said 'dragon', Agda almost fainted. Vilkas, on the other hand, snarled every time a rabbit crossed their path. As his eyes got golden for the umpteenth time, Agda wondered how long the Nord had gone without a decent hunt in his beast form.

There were also other downsides to travelling with two men with overpowered senses - for example, they immediately realized that Agda wasn't fine.

"You smell like blood, little mage", Farkas suddenly told her without any preamble. "Also, your heart is worryingly fast. Are you sure you're not ill?"

Vilkas gave his brother an eloquent look that made Agda shiver in fear. The man was probably angry because Farkas had alluded to the way werewolves could hear other people's heartbeats.

"You must forgive him", the handsome warrior told Agda. "My brother thinks he can hear heartbeats, but such a thing is obviously impossible. Unfortunately, we've had a long and tiring day".

Farkas made to speak, but his twin cut him off with a snarl that bared his sharp teeth. Despite her time around Steinarius, Agda had never seen anyone behave in such a wolfish way.

The young mage had another proof of the brothers' animal insticts once they reached a dismissed lighthouse on the road to Winterhold. Both Farkas and Vilkas namely stopped dead in their tracks, then immediately began sniffing the air. When they exchanged a worried glance, Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine.

"Is something wrong?"

There was a moment of silence, then Vilkas spoke.

"Wolves", he said through gritted teeth. "At least two of them, and very dangerous. They were here less than a week ago".

Agda was shocked by the twins' sharp sense of smell and was even more shocked by what happened when she got closer to the lighthouse.

Over the previous week, the young mage had started suffering once again from her usual nightmares regarding the familiar floating globe of darkness and its many black tentacles. As she took in the sight of the lighthouse, Agda saw the weird creature that troubled her sleep in front of her eyes; a moment later, she was overrun by fragments of memories. A dark starless sky, the cold water of the ocean closing in on her, the trolls around Nightcaller Temple, the flavor of a disgusting potion in her mouth... all those memories flooded through Agda's mind and were ended by the sight of the usual globe of darkness. _Come to me and you will discover the truth_ , the weird creature said with its familiar and seductive voice.

That terrifying vision was over in less than a minute, but by then Agda had already fallen to the ground. When she opened her eyes, she was met by two very worried wolf twins. The brothers exchanged a look, then they got closer to her. At that point Farkas gathered Agda in his arms and started walking towards Winterhold.

"There's no point in hiding your illness", he simply stated when confronted with the girl's faint protests. "My brother and I need to head towards Whiterun, but we'll carry you until we get to the ruins of Saarthal. From what I heard, your fellows from the College are doing some weird things there".

Still too shocked by the flow of memories that had suddenly overrun her mind, Agda didn't reply. Right then she could only think of one thing: that dismissed lighthouse was somehow connected to her mysterious arrival in Dawnstar.

* * *

Just like they'd announced, Vilkas and Farkas carried Agda until they reached the ruins of Saarthal. Once there, the twins bid the girl goodbye and headed south. Agda, instead, was left to the cures of a Winterhold guard. The young mage was very surprised: why were the sentries from the city patrolling that place?

When she voiced that question, the guard spat on the ground.

"The Jarl thinks that those skeevers from the College are threatening its city, therefore he decided to send us here to protect the ruins from those psychos".

Agda frowned. She was actually glad that his fellow mages couldn't venture into the ruins of Saarthal anymore; nonetheless, the guard's words sent a cold shiver down her spine. What could have possible happened for the Jarl to take such a drastic measure against her colleagues?

"Korir found out that the Archmage had been talking to a former Imperial Captain", the sentry explained as soon as Agda asked him that question. "Since the College had promised not to take sides in the Civil War, the Jarl got quite angry at that - as a consequence, he announced he would close the ruins and bring the mages' studies to an end. Korir even asked the Stormcloaks for help in case the wizards should get angry at him - and surprisingly enough, Ulfric agreed to help him. It seems that his men will start controlling the area before the end of next week".

When she heard that, Agda's frown got even deeper. Until then the Civil War had never disturbed her quiet life; now, instead, it seemed that Ulfric Stormcloak was about to station many of his men right outside the city gates of Winterhold. That awareness made her somewhat nervous; at the same time, however, Agda realized two things.

First, the former Imperial Captain Savos Aren had talked to was probably Steinarius.

Second, she needed to get to Winterhold as soon as possible and clean the mess she'd made by sending the Dragonborn to the College.

As soon as that latter thought appeared in her mind, Agda heard a loud sound that resembled an explosion caused by a fire rune. A second later, the ground under her feet began to shake. After exchanging a terrified look with the nearby guard, Agda was quick to forget her injuries and start running towards Winterhold.

Something in her mind suggested her that the city was dangerously close to its end.

* * *

As she made her way towards the seat of the College, Agda realized that she was doing worse than she'd thought. Despite her sufferance and her weakness, however, the girl had a mission to fulfill; as a consequence, she drank a lot of healing potions to fight off the pain and continue running.

As a healer, Agda perfectly knew that too many curing vials could cause people to collapse, just like she knew that too many magical efforts could cause wizards to pass out from exhaustion. Yet, at that moment the girl couldn't care less: just a few minutes, then she'd finally reach Winterhold - and once there, all her questions about Steinarius and Ancano would be answered. Moreover, Agda couldn't wait to discover the source of the loud explosion she'd heard less than ten minutes earlier. When she did, however, the young mage was paralyzed by shock.

Upon getting closer to the city, Agda realized that there were many shrill shouts coming from the main road of Winterhold - and a moment later, when she finally reached the entrance to the settlement, the Nord noticed that the whole town had been turned into a battleground.

The people of Winterhold were fighting together with the mages from the College and the local guards. The soldiers had sharp blades in their hands, whereas the wizards were casting a spell after another. The civilians instead were using common tools like shovels and hammers in order to kill the weird magic creatures that were infesting their city. Agda had never seen anything like that: it looked as though shiny fragments of pure magical energy had come to life and started tormenting everyone who dared oppose them. When a guard fell to the ground with a pained growl, the mage eventually looked towards the College - and as she did, Agda couldn't believe her eyes: the whole building was embraced by a threatening storm that kept everyone and everything far from it.

Confronted with that sight, Agda felt small and powerless and in danger - and when Ranmir entered her visual field, she felt even worse. The local drunkard was namely covered in blood from head to toe.

"Ranmir, what is going on?", Agda asked when the man finally got closer. "What are those things? And what happened to you?"

When the Nord turned to look at her, Agda let out a terrified scream: much to her shock, she was staring into the lifeless eyes of a thrall.

As Agda let go of Ranmir's elbow and took a few steps backwards, she unexpectedly bumped into one of the last people she'd expected to see at that moment.

Haran, the owner of the local inn, had just taken a break from fighting against her enemies with her faithful broomstick. When the elder woman turned her head and recognised Agda's brown eyes, she couldn't help but let out a surprised squeak.

"Oh Agda, I'm so glad you're here! We all thought you were dead!"

Willing to keep the woman safe, Agda took her by the arm and crouched behind a nearby building. She promised Haran she would soon answer all of her questions, then she asked when those weird magical creatures had first appeared in Winterhold. Spurred by Agda's questions, the innkeeper explained that everything had begun fifteen minutes earlier, when a loud explosion had caused the ground of the city to shake and those weird magical anomalies to appear right outside the College. When Haran mentioned that Ancano had returned to Winterhold that very same morning, Agda immediately realized who was to blame for the cataclysm that was threatening to destroy her adoptive city.

Willing to save the settlement and take her revenge, Agda told Haran to find a safer shelter; a moment later, the young mage made her way towards the heart of the battle - after all, if she wanted to destroy Ancano, she first needed to kill the monstrous creatures that were wreaking havoc on his behalf.

* * *

As she bid Haran goodbye, Agda felt as though she was about to enter a battlefield. A determined look in her eyes, the girl confidently strode towards the main road of Winterhold, two ice spikes ready in her hands and a fierce cloak of fire around her shoulders. A moment later, the mage attacked her first enemy with a fast series of Destruction spells.

The battle against those weird magic anomalies caused Agda to move through the whole city of Winterhold. While fighting, the girl caught a glimpse of many people she knew: Brelyna for example was crouching beside Onmund behind a tall tree - and, from the look of it, it seemed that the poor Nord had just been knocked unconscious by his opponents. J'zhargo instead was casting flames at his enemies, whereas a rather battered Colette was using a magical barrier to defend the inhabitants of Winterhold from every possible threat. Faralda and Nirya were doing their best, while Drevis and Phinnis were using their skills in Necromancy in order to fight off their enemies. When they realized that the girl in the blue robes was no one but Agda, all of the mages let out surprised cries and immediately tried to aid her.

"What happened to you?", Faralda asked when Agda hid behind a tree together with her. "You were gone for weeks! And why is your left eye so swollen?"

"I'll explain you everything later", the girl hissed between gritted teeth. After saying that, the young mage threw herself once again against her enemies.

Unfortunately for Agda and for the other inhabitants of Winterhold, the magical anomalies Ancano had created were much stronger than all the other enemies they'd ever encountered. The young girl miraculously managed to kill three of them, but that deed cost her all of her energy. That battle was different from everything else Agda had ever experienced: in that weird situation she couldn't just set up traps for her enemies and wait for them to run into them, just like she couldn't find a safe shelter and wait for her Atronachs to destroy her opponents. Moreover, Agda had to be careful not to hurt others with her spells, all while keeping an eye on her own back. To make matters even worse, during the battle the girl realized that many of her scars were slowly creaking open - and with every drop of blood that left her body, Agda felt weaker and paler and wearier.

Although she was well aware of the risks, during the fight the young Nord drank as many magicka potions as she could in order to keep on casting spells at her enemies. Nonetheless, all her efforts were useless: when her last Fire Atronach was killed and her last fire rune was activated by a clumsy soldier, the girl realized that she'd run out of draughts that could help her retrieve her magicka. Ignoring the fear that struck her at that discovery, Agda grabbed the sword of an injured guard and got into a fighting stance.

Although her situation seemed hopeless, the young Nord had no intention of giving in.

* * *

Agda wasn't the only one who knew how tragic the situation for Winterhold was. Many city guards namely laid dead on the ground, whereas some mages and civilians were severely injured. Agda and her colleagues had killed a few magic anomalies, but there was still a dozen of them floating around - and without her faithful magicka, the girl didn't know how to dispatch them. Luckily enough, right when the inhabitants of Winterhold were about to lose all hope and seek safety in the wilds, a mysterious rider appeared on the main street of their city.

From her shelter behind a half-destroyed building, Agda could only catch a glimpse of that unknown fighter. From that she realized that the stranger was wearing an old dark armor and was riding a grey horse that stopped to a halt with a neigh. The man didn't seem baffled by the strange situation Winterhold was in: without even flinching, he immediately unsheated his sword and started making his way towards the College. Agda had never seen anything like that: the man wielded his mercury weapon effortlessly, as though that heavy piece of metal didn't weigh more than a feather. He moved at a very high speed, so that the girl had troubles following the way his arms were attacking their enemies. His legs never stayed still, as they were constantly aiding their owner in what looked like a complicated dance with possibly deadly consequences. Agda had never seen anyone fight in such a captivating way.

Thanks to his swift movements and to his sheer strength, the stranger was quick to dispatch two enemies in less than a heartbeat. Fueled by that success, many exhausted wizards rose to their feet and resumed fighting against the magical anomalies. Agda was too tired to stand up from her place on the ground, but she nonetheless managed to summon a weak Fire Atronach and force it to fight against her enemies.

After a few minutes, the situation started looking much better for the defenders of Winterhold - and when the mysterious stranger spat fire at one of his enemies, everyone in the city realized who their helper was.

The Dragonborn of olds had joined the fight just on time.

* * *

After Steinarius' arrival, the people of Winterhold resumed fighting with renewed energy and hope; as a consequence, they eventually succeeded in the difficult task of killing all the enemies that were threatening their hometown.

As soon as the last magical anomaly was dispatched, the Dragonborn headed for the College, whereas the inhabitants of Winterhold were left to contemplate the destruction that now reigned over their city.

By the time the last of her supernatural enemies crumbled into pieces, Agda had finally managed to rise to her feet. Her scars were bleeding again, whereas her mind was overrun by tiredness and dizziness; yet, the girl had no intention of giving up her plans for revenge. Before the young mage could follow Steinarius inside the College, however, she was stopped by a very worried Colette. The two healers exchanged a long look during which the teacher understood everything her pupil had gone through - and at the end of that seemingly endless moment, the Breton couldn't help but throw her arms around Agda.

Despite the many questions from Colette, the young mage didn't say anything about Ancano - if she'd done it, her teacher would have surely madea scene. Yet, Agda had no way to hide her black eye and her sore body from her colleagues and friends.

"Oh God, what happened to your arm?", Nirya asked when a gust of wind caused Agda' sleeve to uncover her wrist and reveal a bandage that was completely soaked in blood. The girl was quick to put her robes back into place, but she couldn't undo what the Altmer and some other people had seen.

"I'll explain everything soon", she said with a rather harsh tone.

Without waiting for a reply, the young Nord immediately headed for the College. Agda was namely keen on taking Ancano's life as soon as possible - actually, she was feeling downright worried at the thought that Steinarius could have preceded her, thus depriving her of her well-deserved revenge. When she reached the courtyard of the College, however, the mage realized that Ancano was still pretty much alive; also, she understood that killing that monster was likely the last of her problems.

At first Agda didn't understand why so many people were forming a circle in the courtyard of her school. When she caught a glimpse of Savos Aren's lifeless body, however, the truth dawned on her.

"The Archmage is dead", Tolfdir sighed to no one in particular. The old man looked like a ghost of his usual chatty self and had been too grief-stricken to take part in the battle of Winterhold. "We are all doomed, hopelessly and fatally doomed!"

Agda was shocked by the news: if Ancano had managed to kill Savos Aren, he was even more dangerous than she'd thought. Nonetheless, that awareness couldn't do anything to change her plans.

When she noticed that Steinarius was nowhere to be seen, Agda was quick to ask Tolfdir about his whereabouts. With a sigh, the old mage revealed that the Dragonborn was about to embark on yet another quest.

"Mirabelle wanted to give him something", the elder wizard said without raising his eyes from Savos' broken body. "He will leave as soon as possible".

Agda frowned at that revelation. A moment later, she took a very hazardous decision: despite her troubles and her pain and her fever, she announced she would accompany the Dragonborn on his next adventure.

* * *

Agda was shocked by the way her colleagues and the people of Winterhold reacted to her words. First they all tried to make her change her mind - after all, it was evident that the girl wasn't doing fine. Then, however, they did their best to help her.

In less than ten minutes Agda received everything she needed to face a dangerous adventure: food and beverages from Haran and Birna, health and magicka potions from Colette, many different spell tomes from her teachers, an enchanted hood from Sergius. Faralda gave her a new set of Destruction robes, whereas Nirya surprised everyone by trusting the young Nord with a beautiful magic amulet. At least, even J'zhargo approached the young mage and gave her a lot of scrolls. The Khajit's tail had been almost charred to ash during his battle against the magic anomalies, so that he couldn't accompany Agda on her adventure.

"This one wishes you good luck", the young apprentice said with a very solemn tone. "Also, this one will keep an eye on Ancano for you".

Agda was moved by J'zhargo's promise, and she was even more moved when a very exhausted Onmund limped towards her with Brelyna. The two of them gave her a couple of magic rings and were followed by a rather crossed Enthir.

"I don't like you, Nord", the Bosmer snorted. "Yet, I need someone to risk their life so that I can have my calm and my business back. As a consequence, you may receive this gift".

When Enthir showed her a beautiful sword made entirely of ebony, Agda couldn't believe her eyes.

With that weapon in her hands, she felt as though nothing could ever defeat her.

* * *

Despite the gratitude for all those gifts, Agda should have been quite puzzled by the way her colleagues were willing to let a visibly sick girl face a possibly dangerous threat on their behalf. Yet, right then the girl could only think of getting her revenge over Ancano. Also, after witnessing the way Steinarius had dispatched their enemies, Agda was confindent that accompanying him wasn't going to be very difficult. Unfortunately for her, the Dragonborn had a completely different opinion.

Agda was rather surprised when she saw Steinarius appear in the courtyard with Mirabelle by his side, as the man looked much more tired and battered than usual. Yet, the girl's shock was nothing if compared to the Imperial's.

"Agda?!", he asked while stopping dead in his tracks.

The girl nodded, then took a step towards Steinarius. She'd noticed the way his eyes had just got golden and she perfectly knew what it meant - just like she'd predicted, her former lover wasn't happy to see her.

"I don't care what you think, just like I don't care where you're going", Agda said before the Dragonborn could even recover from his surprise. "It doesn't matter: Winterhold is in danger, so I'm coming with you to help you save my people".

There was a long moment of confused silence, then Steinarius chuckled in disbelief.

"No way", he said while shaking his head.

"But..."

"I said _no way_ ", Steinarius promptly repeated. "You can't come with me, Agda".

The girl pulled an offended expression. As usual, that stubborn Imperial didn't think her capable of helping him.

"Steinarius, I don't care what you think. These people..."

" _These people_ are ready to stand back and watch you die rather than risk their lives and help you. They're not _your_ people, Agda, and they're not your friends either. They only care about staying safe and letting others do the hard work!"

Some mages murmured in disapproval, whereas others simply blushed in embarrassement. As for Agda, Steinarius' words didn't affect her in the slightest. She knew that he was probably right, just like she knew that people like Enthir or Korir had no morality at all; yet, the braveness of her fellow mages and the traditional selfishness of wizards wasn't the point of her current argument with the Imperial.

"I don't care if others want to stay safe", the girl simply stated. "I just want to come with you and help you".

"Agda, I don't have the time to look after you while venturing into a dangerous ruin", Steinarius harshly replied. "I'm going to a Nordic burial site, not to some holiday camp in Anvil. Also, you're too weak to help me. You'll only be a nuisance if you come with me".

By then Agda was slowly losing her patience.

"Steinarius, I guarantee I won't get in your way. I'm a rather decent mage and..."

"Agda, there's no way you're coming with me", the Dragonborn repeated for the umpteenth time. "Decent mage or not, you're still feverish and suffering. I can't take you with me, as I can't focus on fighting if I know that you're not safe".

Agda narrowed her eyes. A part of her knew that Steinarius' words made perfect sense, but another part of her was deaf to them. It was time the Dragonborn stopped treating her like a child.

"If you want me to stay here, you'll have to tie me to a stone and throw me into the ocean", the young Nord announced with a snarl. Those words were all it took Steinarius to finally lose his temper.

"You don't get it, do you?", the Dragonborn shouted, his eyes golden with rage and irritation and despair. The force of his voice caused the ground to shake and many inhabitants of Winterhold to let out scared yells. "Life isn't a fairy tale: the good ones don't always live, just like the bad ones don't always die. Take a look at my cuirass, Agda! Take a good look at it and then tell me what you see!"

As he spoke, Steinarius took a couple of steps towards the girl. Slightly frightened by his angry expression, many mages readied themselves to escape the courtyard. Agda instead remained perfectly still.

"I see dried blood", she said after taking a look at Steinarius' armor. The Nord couldn't understand the reason behind that weird request. "The blood of your enemies, I suppose. After all, you're always covered in blood. I guess it fits your role as the savior of the world".

Much to Agda's dismay, Steinarius reacted to her words by giving her a long look of disgust.

"You're so concentrated on your little revenge run that you don't even realize what is going on around you", he hissed. "The blood on my cuirass belongs to a person you love dearly and that might be dead as we're speaking. If you really cared about her, you would have surely noticed her absence".

Those words finally broke through Agda's calm façade. Upon listening to them, the girl namely noticed that Adaeze was nowhere to be seen. That realization caused a sharp bolt of fear to run through her body.

"Adaeze..."

When Steinarius nodded, Agda felt as though she'd just been struck by a lightning. She felt sorry for noticing Adaeze's absence only then and she was terrified to find out what had happened to her.

"As I was telling you, life is not a fairy tale", the Dragonborn said after Agda covered her mouth with her hands and let out a pained cry. "Adaeze is a much better fighter than you, but she was stabbed while we were on a mission together. When I left her yesterday night, the healers didn't believe she would survive her injuries".

As soon as she heard those words, Agda felt a few tears gather in her eyes: had she not accepted Delphine's job, had she not ventured into Saarthal, had she not fallen into Ancano's trap, then Adaeze wouldn't have been hurt. That realization caused the girl to understand something important about herself: hatred and bloodlust had nothing to do with her plans to stop Ancano - quite on the contrary, Agda simply wanted to solve the problems she herself had created by unveiling the Eye of Magnus.

Unaware of the thoughts that were running through Agda's mind, Steinarius took another step towards her. The shocked expression on her face managed to calm him down.

"Agda, you can't imagine how I felt when I realized that Adaeze had been hurt", he said in a whisper. The man was talking so low that no one but Agda could hear him. Also, his grey eyes were now completely full of sufferance. "I can't go through that once again - and I surely can't go through that with you. If you want to help me, just stay here and keep these people safe. It's all I'm asking you, Agda".

The young mage was silent for a long moment. She was moved by the pleading tone Steinarius was using and she knew that the raw pain in his eyes was real. Yet, the girl had already made up her mind about what to do. She couldn't just sit there and wait for others to clean her mess.

"You are right, Steinarius: life is not a fairy tale", Agda eventually said after a long break. She was well aware that most of Winterhold was now looking at her, just like she was aware of the Dragonborn's worried eyes fixed on her face. "But I'm not a child either, Stein. I'm a grown woman and I'm more than capable of making decisions on my own. I'm coming with you and there's nothing you can do to make me change my mind about it".

At that point, despite the Dragonborn's protests, Agda turned her back to him and asked a nearby guard to fetch her a horse. Agda didn't care about Steinarius' outraged cries, just like she didn't care about the way Mirabelle was trying to talk her out of her plan: right then, the young Nord was determined to leave Winterhold and finally put an end to all the troubles she'd caused by discovering the Eye of Magnus in the first place.


	48. Call of Fate

**Author's note:**

 **As usual, I begin this chapter by thanking all my followers/favoriters/reviewers, old and new alike: your support really means a lot to me!**

 **This week the special shout-outs go to Elspeth, Valtieri, KSausage and Maz1X. I'm really glad that chapter 47 managed to get you hype for the quest in Labyrinthian, just like I'm glad you actually found the battle scene and the fight between Agda and Steinarius rather interesting.**

 **As for Elspeth's review, I'm happy you underlined that poor Stein is still human. Also, I'm very glad KSausage noticed that both my main characters are incredibly stubborn - and this may soon become a problem. Moreover, I deeply thank Maz1X and Valtieri for their kind words. I never expected to be a muse to anyone, just like I was very moved when I discovered that my updates make someone's day even brighter; also, I'm glad some readers enjoy reading my replies to their reviews. I think it's the least I can do when someone uses part of their time to say a word or two about my story! And yes, I do value constructive criticism above everything else.** **Speaking of which...**

 **Just like KSausage underlined, the Labyrinthian quest is probably one of the most spectacular of the game, at least as far as I'm concerned. That's why I wanted to do it justice - and that's why I decided to split that mission in at least three chapters. Here you are with the first of them, which is also the longest instalment I've ever written (yes, I do have a problems with overwriting). I'm afraid this chapter may be rather far-fetched, so I particularly rely on my faithful readers to know their opinions about it. I've tried to convey the atmosphere of Labyrinthian as well as I could and I also tried to show Steinarius' softer side. Also, I decided to delve deeper into the fates I chose for Agda and Steinarius - hence the title of this chapter. Hopefully I've succeeded in my task - yet, that's up for you to decide.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Frowning in worry, Agda stared at the white mare in front of her eyes. Until a few minutes earlier, her decision to venture into an ancient ruin together with Steinarius had seemed perfectly logical. Now, however, the girl was starting to question her choice. Not only had the Dragonborn created one of his usual scenes in front of the whole of Winterhold - he had also hopped on his grey horse and left the city on his own.

"See you in Labyrinthian, if you ever get there", he'd hissed before riding away in the wilds.

Those simple words had caused Agda to awaken from the numbness that had surrounded her until that moment. Labyrinthian was the very stuff nightmares were made of, therefore her decision to go there suddenly seemed very stupid. Moreover, without Steinarius guiding her, the girl had no idea how to reach her destination. Last but not least, upon asking a guard to fetch her a horse Agda hadn't really been thinking. Now, however, she was forced to admit the truth: she loathed animals and had never been a good rider. That adventure wasn't off to a good start, the young mage admitted with a sigh. Actually, she'd be lucky if she managed to climb on her tall mare without falling off the other side.

Despite her fears, Agda knew that she'd gone too far to back down from her decision: she owed it to the people of Winterhold and she owed it to poor Adaeze - but most of all she owed it to herself. Spurred by that awareness, the girl let out a deep sigh and finally tried to hop on her horse. It took her a few attempts that caused poor Snowbell to neigh in annoyance, but Agda eventually slumped on the saddle and took the reins into her hands. Herius, the guard she'd cured from Ataxia a few weeks earlier, immediately approached her and gave her some advice about horseriding. Then, with a loud slap on Snowbell's back, the man set the start to Agda's journey.

When her mare began jogging in reply to Herius' gesture, the mage clumsily held on to the reins, thus causing the horse to let out what sounded like a rather annoyed snort.

"Leave her some freedom and hold on to the saddle!", Herius shouted from the distance.

By the time Agda could even process those words, Snowbell had already taken her far from the main road of Winterhold. Gasping in fear, the girl murmured a silent prayer to the Divines: of all the possible ways to die, she'd never thought she would fall off a horse and break her neck.

* * *

Agda's relationship with Snowbell didn't improve at all during the following minutes. The horse namely kept on jogging and constantly ignored the rider's attempt at directing her. Moreover, the mare's movements caused Agda's ribs to throb painfully. Eventually, however, the girl decided to take matters into her hands: she was the one in charge, not Snowbell, therefore that stubborn animal had to obey her orders. Prompted by that thought, Agda tightened her grip on the reins and dug her shins in the sides of the mare. For a moment, nothing happened; a second later, however, Snowbell broke into a fast gallop.

Screaming in fear, Agda completely forgot her composure and hugged the horse's neck. As predictable, that only caused her to lose balance - and when Snowbell bucked in exasperation, the young mage felt her feet slide out of the stirrups and found herself staring at the hard soil of the North. Yet, right before Agda could fall to the ground, a loud shout echoed through the snowy landscape.

"RAAN!"

In reply to that scream, Snowbell's gallop came to a halt, thus causing Agda to gently slide off the saddle. Before her feet could touch the ground, however, two strong arms caught the young mage and prevented her from falling.

"How are you supposed to come to Labyrinthian with me if you can't even ride out of Winterhold without breaking your neck?"

Upon understanding that Steinarius had just calmed her horse with a Shout, Agda was at loss for words. The girl realized she should have probably thanked the Dragonborn for saving her from a dangerous situation, but her faint feeling of gratitude disappeared as soon as she noticed the smug expression on the Imperial's face.

"Say what you will, but I wasn't really falling off the saddle", Agda said. In that moment she was thankful her face mask prevented Steinarius from seeing her blush in embarrassement. "I was just looking at a weird kind of stone".

"Of course you weren't falling", the Dragonborn replied. The self-satisfaction in his voice had now been replaced by a mixture of sarcasm and exasperation. "And I Shouted for _my_ horse to calm down, not for yours".

Only then did Agda notice that Steinarius' grey stallion was a few steps away from her. At the same time, the girl realized that the Dragonborn didn't look like a man who'd spent the previous thirty minutes of his life riding like crazy towards a Nordic ruin.

"You didn't really head for Labyrinthian on your own", the girl hissed when the truth finally dawned on her. "You just pretended it. You've actually been following me…"

"Ever since you left Winterhold, yes", Steinarius confirmed with a nod. When a rather livid Agda made to speak, the man stopped her with a gesture. "Agda, you're probably the worst rider of Tamriel", he said with the usual bluntness. "That's why I hoped you would change your mind if I left for Labyrinthian before you: in that way, I hoped you'd get scared and abandon your plan; then, however, I felt sorry for being mean to you and came back to see how you were doing. I followed you for a while, then I used a Shout to calm your mare. Luckily enough, your misadventure has brought you on the road towards Labyrinthian, therefore this little detour won't cause me to lose any time".

"I could have broken my neck, and all because you wanted to leave me behind!", Agda hissed in anger. The girl was mad at the way Steinarius had played with her in order to make her change her mind. The Imperial, however, reacted to her words by faking a confused expression.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Agda", he lied. "After all, you weren't falling off your horse - you were only looking at a weird stone on the ground".

Angered, Agda gave Steinarius a shove and walked back to Snowbell.

"If you think these tricks are enough to stop me..."

Confronted with Agda's rage, Steinarius sighed and regained his usual sternness.

"Agda, I don't want to stop you: I just want you to realize that this task is more dangerous than it looks", the Imperial said. "Actually, everything in this world is much more dangerous than it looks".

Much to the Dragonborn's dismay, those words caused Agda to lose what little temper she had left.

"I don't need you to remind me that everything in this world is more dangerous than it looks", the girl suddenly snapped. "After all, _I_ was the one who got tortured inside my own inn, _I_ was the one who was almost strangled by you, _I_ was the one whose face was disfigured by a stupid Thalmor!"

When she stopped talking, Agda realized that she'd screamed that last sentence from the top of her lungs. Steinarius was in front of her, his grey eyes fixed on hers and a pained expression on his face. A moment later, the man sighed and tiredly rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"I'm doing it all wrong", he murmured so weakly that Agda almost didn't hear him. A moment later, however, the Dragonborn resumed talking normally.

"Agda, I stood by your bedside for a week while you were unconscious", Steinarius slowly began when he finally found the words for what he wanted to say. "Moreover, a few hours ago I had to hold Adaeze's hand while she was fighting for her life. It's been a tough two weeks from me and believe me, I can't go through all of that again. That's why I don't want you to come to Labyritnhian with me: if you died, or something bad happened to you, I..."

"If I died, you'd only have to leave my corpse behind and go on with your adventure", Agda harshly said. "Then, at the funeral, you'll be allowed to look at my remains and say 'I told you so'. Doesn't that make you happy?"

When Steinarius' eyes got golden with rage, Agda understood she'd just crossed the line.

"Of course that doesn't make me happy!", the man snapped. "You'll never understand, won't you? You only think of what is best for you and you only rely on yourself because you think you're better than anyone else! You know what, Agda? You are the most selfish creature I've ever met!"

Confronted with those accusations, Agda broke into a surprised hysterical laughter.

"Selfish? Me? _I_ am the one who's risking her life in order to save Winterhold from disaster, whereas you're the one who wants to leave me behind because you're too scared to lose me!"

"I just want to protect you, Agds! Is that so bad?"

"Yes! It is veeeery bad, Steinarius, and all because I don't need you to protect me! I'm a grown woman and an accomplished mage, so I can perfectly look after myself!"

For a moment Agda feared the Dragonborn would say something about her unability to keep safe from Ancano. Luckily enough, Steinarius knew better than angering the mage in that way.

"Agda, I may be brainless or stupid or snappy, but I do care about you", the Imperial confessed after a brief pause. His friend was visibly angry and he didn't want to make matters even worse. "You don't need me to protect you? Fine, but let me at least help you with your task. It's all I'm asking you".

"This is not about me or you", Agda immediately replied. The Dragonborn was surprised by the coldness in her voice. "This is about Winterhold and the mess I made up there. You are absolutely nothing to me, Steinarius, and you'd better keep that in mind".

When Steinarius made to protest, Agda stopped him with a gesture. She knew she'd just hurt him, but she also knew that she needed to get to Labyrnthian as soon as possible.

"Steinarius, right now we agree only on one thing: that we completely disagree", the young mage harshly said. "As a consequence, there's only one thing we can do: stop bickering like two old maids and ride towards Labyrinthian".

Agda didn't wait for a reply: she walked towards Snowbell, then she cast a spell that caused the animal to kneel. After hopping on the saddle, the girl used some more spells to control the movements of the mare - thanks to Steinarius' earlier shout, she'd namely understood she could learn how to ride by relying on magic; at the same time, Agda had realized that she was ready to die to save Winterhold from the end.

If Steinarius thought her selfish, he clearly had no clue as to who she really was.

* * *

It took the strange couple of adventurers a few hours to reach their destination. As she and Steinarius got closer to their goal, Agda couldn't help but notice the majestic landscape in front of her eyes. There were a few tall mountains around her and one of them hosted a huge stone statue that seemed to depict a monster. With a shiver, Agda realized she'd discovered one of the most hidden places of Skyrim.

"That's Mehrunes Dagon shrine", Steinarius mumbled as though he'd just read the girl's mind. It was the first time either of them spoke since their heated argument from earlier. "And not far from here lie the mines of Stonehill. This is your last chance to stop somewhere safe and get yourself a supper while I retrieve the Staff of Magnus, Agda".

The young mage rolled her eyes in annoyance, but didn't reply. The emotions of that long day were slowly catching up on her: the excitement from the morning battle, the anger from her fight with Steinarius, her anxiety for the upcoming mission... Together with all of that, Agda also felt tired and weak because of her injuries. Yet, despite her sufferance, the girl was ready to go miles to prevent the Imperial from noticing her problems.

After his little comment about Stonehill, the Dragonborn didn't speak for a long while. Eventually, the silence between the two adventurers was broken by a surprised gasp on Agda' side.

The young mage had just caught her first glimpse of the ancient city of Bromjunaar.

* * *

By the time Steinarius and Agda reached Labyrinthian, the sun had already disappeared behind a thick layer of clouds. A few snowflakes were falling on their heads, whereas a cold wind was blowing from the nearby mountains. Despite the dim light and the upcoming snowstorm, the two adventurers didn't fail to notice how imposing their final destination was.

Agda had read many books about Shalidor and Labyrinthian, but the ancient ruins in front of her eyes were nothing like she'd imagined them - as a matter of fact, they were even larger and bigger and scarier. At the same time, however, they had a unique appeal that immediately mesmerized the young mage.

An awe-struck expression on her face, Agda clumsily got off her horse and began walking towards the outer walls of the former city of Bromjunaar. Many flights of stairs led to the inner courtyard of Labyrinthian, behind which Agda could see a few stone archs and many different tall structures towering above her. Combined with the nearby mountains, those ancient buildings created the most breathtaking view Agda had ever contemplated in her life.

Unfortunately, the girl's enthusiasm for Labyrinthian was rather short-lived - she'd just reached the entrance to the city when Steinarius shoved her against the tall walls of the ruins; a moment later, the man covered her mouth with his hand, thus preventing Agda from screaming in shock.

The young mage was utterly outraged by that rude treatment. When a huge shadow loomed above her, however, Agda realized the reason behind Steinarius' harsh manners. A huge dragon had just started flying over their heads - and with his rude behavior, the Imperial had prevented that beast from noticing the two tiny humans who were walking right under its eyes.

At first Agda was very scared by the impressive creature that was flying over her head. When she shuddered in fear, however, Steinarius was quick to lean towards her and whisper in her ears.

"That beast still hasn't spotted us", the Imperial reassured the young girl. "Blood dragons are rather aggressive, but they're not as powerful as some of their cousins".

Despite Steinarius' words, Agda didn't feel better at all. She didn't care whether the dragon that was flying above her head was the most powerful of its kind or not - right then, the young mage only cared about her own safety.

Ignoring Agda's fears, Steinarius gestured for her to stay still and slowly walked towards the entrance of the ruins. At that point, the mage felt the irrational desire to grab the man by the elbow and beg him not to leave her - try all she might, Agda realized with a shiver, she would never become one of those fearless warriors the legends always rambled on.

Much to her surprise, Agda quickly realized that Steinarius wasn't one of those brave fellows either. The man had looked rather nervous upon approaching Labyrinthian and had unsheated his faithful mercury sword well before hopping off his horse - and even now, as he was carefully choosing how to approach the upcoming fight, the Dragonborn looked surprisingly worried.

At first Agda believed that Steinarius' nervousness derived from the fact that she was with him. When a loud growl echoed nearby, however, the girl immediately understood the reason behind the Imperial's unusual worry. Not only was a blood dragon flying over their heads - there were also a few frost trolls roaming the courtyard of Labyrinthian.

Shocked by that unexpected twist, Agda approached Steinarius and carefully peeked over his right shoulder. When she saw that the frost trolls were actually closer to her shelter than she thought, her heart did a couple somersaults in her chest: she still hadn't entered Labyrinthian, but she had already understood that the creatures that dwelled there were probably out of her league. For a moment Agda thought that Steinarius had been right in suggesting she went to Stonehill and met him there after supper.

There was a moment of complete stillness as the two humans remained side by side near the entrance of the ancient city. With a dragon flying above them and a bunch of angry trolls nearby, neither of them knew what to do.

"The trolls are worried by the dragon, so they still haven't smelled us", Steinarius suddenly whispered. His grey eyes were darting quickly from one beast to the other, whereas his hand was steadily fastened around the hilt of his sword. "If you stay here, I may be able to kill at least a couple of trolls before they even realize it".

Agda frowned.

"I see only three trolls", she pointed out. "If you take care of them, then we'll only have to dispatch the dragon".

"You see only three trolls, but there are at least five more patrolling the area", Steinarius replied. "At least, that's what my werewolf senses say".

Agda was shocked by that unexpected discovery. When she visibly cringed, Steinarius was quick to lay a hand on her arm and give it a reassuring squeeze. The young mage was surprised by that tiny show of friendliness.

"I've seen worse, Agda", the Dragonborn reassured her. "I'll go out there and kill the trolls, then I'll deal with the dragon. In the meanwhile, you just stay here and watch my back".

Without waiting for Agda to reply, Steinarius made to approach the area patrolled by the trolls. The mage however was quick to stop him.

"Wait!", she said with more fear than she'd originally planned. "I think you're right: the trolls are too worried by the dragon to notice us. Maybe we could…"

"Sneak past them? No way: I would stumble on a stone and break my neck, or something of the sort".

Agda scoffed. At least, Steinarius knew his limits.

"I wasn't going to suggest that", she replied. "I just thought that maybe we could wait here for a couple of minutes and see what happens. If we're lucky, the dragon and the trolls may even kill each other on our behalf".

Steinarius gave Agda a rather puzzled look. Had he been alone, he would have surely charged at the closest enemy without thinking twice - the girl's presence, however, forced him to be much more careful than usual.

"That sounds like a plan", the Dragonborn conceded after a brief moment of meditation. Upon hearing those words, Agda almost couldn't believe her ears. "Let's do this your way".

The young mage had no chance to rejoice in the fact that Steinarius had accepted to follow her suggestion - as a matter of fact, right then she was too worried about her life to care about that.

It took a couple of very tense minutes, but the blood dragon eventually caught a glimpse of the angry trolls that were roaming the inner courtyard of Labyrinthian – and as it did, it immediately charged.

The whole ground shook when that majestic beast landed, thus causing Agda to grab Steinarius' elbow and squeeze it hard, as though that simple gesture could keep her safe from every threat. A moment later, when the dragon spat fire, the girl closed her eyes and prayed for the Divines to protect her.

* * *

The fight between the dragon and the frost trolls lasted for almost thirty minutes. Steinarius knew that Agda was scared to death, so he didn't complain when she gripped his arm and used it as a fleshy anti-stress device. To say it all, the Imperial wasn't at ease himself – had the trolls and the dragon noticed their presence, he and Agda would have namely been in for a very unpleasant battle; moreover, his hiding place behind the walls of Labyrinthian actually didn't make him feel safe – and when the dragon spat a huge column of fire towards a troll that was standing just on the other side of that stone structure, Steinarius understood that his fears were completely founded. As soon as the heat left the dragon's throat, the Imperial acted: he grabbed Agda by the hand, then he ran along the wall until he found a safer shtler. At that moment, he threw his arms around the girl and positioned himself with his back to the dragon.

At first Agda didn't realize what was going on: she knew that the dragon on the other side of the wall had landed on the ground, sure, but she had no idea that a column of fire was about to melt part of the structure behind her back. The mage understood that only after Steinarius hastily took her to a safer place before shielding her with his body, so that the hot fire wouldn't hurt her at all. Caught between fear and surprise and confusion, Agda couldn't help but bury her face in the man's cuirass, let out a terrified squeal and close her eyes in terror. In response, Steinarius' grip on her body tightened, thus giving her a reassuring feeling.

When the dragon took off once again, Agda finally opened her eyes and found herself staring in Steinarius' grey irises.

"You… you shielded me with your body", she muttered in confusion.

Steinarius made to reply, but at that moment a loud crashing sound echoed through whole of Labyrinthian. Surprised, the Dragonborn and the mage carefully walked towards the entrance to the ancient ruins. Once there, they noticed that the dragon's injuries had forced the beast to collapse shortly after taking off. Willing to defeat their enemy, two frost trolls were using their strength to kill that terrible opponent, while all around them laid the lifeless corpses of other creatures.

There was a last column of fire, then the dragon let out a heartbreaking growl and fell lifeless on the floor. The nearby trolls suffered the same fate a few seconds later, when the flames finally ceased to devour their flesh. Agda watched the remains of the battlefield with a mixture of happiness and surprise and relief: her enemies had slaughtered each other without even noticing her presence. Beside the mage, Steinarius didn't seem that relieved.

"Stay here", he told Agda. "I'll go and check the courtyard for other enemies".

Agda felt the urge to scoff, but stifled that desire immediately – after all, she hadn't forgotten the way Steinarius had just shielded her with his own body. The young mage watched as the Dragonborn made his way through the courtyard, his sword in his hand and a steel shield in the other. Agda was surprised by that: she knew that Steinarius often carried shields around, but it was the first time he actually seemed willing to use one in battle.

When Steinarius disappeared behind a weird stone structure that reminded her of a burial mound, Agda felt a tingle of nervousness. Willing to find out what was going on, the mage left her shelter and took a few steps in the courtyard of Labyrinthian. The young Nord was completely amazed by the sight that paraded in front of her eyes: seen from up-close, the former city of Bromjunaar was even more impressive than predicted.

Awe-struck, Agda felt her jaw drop open and slowly walked through the ruins, so that she could analyze every part of the ancient settlement. The girl noticed the many flights of stairs leading to what seemed like the main temple of the former city, she saw the huge arch that marked the closest pass, she examined the nearby peaks to try and name the mountains that were towering over that solemn place. Then, when she finally focused on what was in front of her, the mage felt a cold shiver run down her spine: although she hadn't realized it, two frost trolls had appeared out of nowhere and were now staring at her. Shocked by that unexpected encounter, Agda took a step back and tried to ready a spell. Equally surprised, the trolls stayed still for a moment; then, they let out an angry groan and charged.

Had she been training at the College, Agda would have handled that situation with her usual style: she would have cast a couple of fire runes, she would have summoned two Fire Atronachs, she would have used all the fire-related spells she knew. Unfortunately, the young mage wasn't in her comfort zone – she was on her own, she was in a place she didn't know, she was even facing powerful creatures that she'd never encountered before.

Overrun by confusion, Agda took a couple of stupid decisions: she cast a few frost spells that had no effect on her enemies, then she let out a shrill scream and turned her back to the threat. A moment later, she began running as fast as she could.

Disobeying Steinarius' orders had definitely been a bad idea.

* * *

Steinarius looked at the remains of the blood dragon. When the man got close enough, the usual ethereal light coming from the corpse surrounded him, whereas the lifeless body of the beast began to decompose.

Steinarius closed his eyes as the soul of the dragon slowly merged with his own; a moment later, memories of a past that didn't belong to him flooded his brain, thus causing the man to fall on his knees and close his eyes. Overrun by darkness, Steinarius saw lots of humans paying homage to a group of dragons, he saw a majestic beast flying over a city in fire, he contemplated the landscape from a very tall mountain inaccessible to men and mer. At last, Steinarius went through the agony the beast had felt when a Nord warrior of olds had thrust a sword through its thick skull, thus killing it for the first time.

Groaning in pain, the Dragonborn had to hold on to a nearby wall in order not to fall to the ground. Absorbing a dragon soul implied reliving the memories of a foreign creature who'd been relived by Alduin – as a consequence, it usually involved going through a very gruesome death at the hands of the heroes of the past.

When the pain finally began to subside, Steinarius ran a hand through his sweaty hair. He was shaking, whereas his eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the snowy landscape around him. His ears, however, didn't miss the terrified scream coming from the entrance of the city. Realizing that Agda was in danger, the Dragonborn lost no time at all: he called her name, then he began running towards her.

* * *

When a desperate voice called her name, Agda turned her head to the source of the noise. Thankfully enough, Steinarius seemed determined to save her from the trolls that were following her from up-close.

With a very impressive calm, the Imperial stopped and rapidly took aim with his bow. A moment later, one of the rabid trolls fell to the ground with a sharp arrow in its neck. The other beast, however, kept on following Agda.

"Go for the stairs to the entrance, throw yourself to the ground and hold on to something!", Steinarius screamed from the top of his lungs. Right then his desire to keep his presence in Labyrinthian well hidden from possible enemies had lost all importance.

When she processed the man's orders, Agda immediately obeyed. She had no time to question Steinarius' extravagant words: if she wanted to survive, she had to trust him.

The young mage finally reached the stairs to the entrance of the city; once there, she did as Steinarius had told her: she laid on the ground and hastily hugged a pillar of stone. When she raised her eyes from the floor, Agda saw that the frost troll was just a few meters behind her; a moment later, however, a loud shout echoed through the nearby mountains.

"FUS ROH DAH!"

There was a noise like thunder, then the frost troll was swiped off its feet by the strength of Steinarius' Shout. The beast flew in the air for what felt like a lifetime, then it landed with a loud snap. When Agda looked at it, she realized that the harsh fall had caused the troll to break its neck and die. Thankfully enough, the stone pillar she was holding on to had resisted the power of the Dragonborn's voice. It was the first time Agda heard Steinarius scream at full force and she was both scared and fascinated by what had just happened.

The girl had finally understood why so many people considered her friend one of the most lethal warriors of Tamriel.

* * *

When he finally reached her, Steinarius was quick to take Agda by the armpits and help her to her feet. He quickly scanned her worried and pale expression, then he threw his arms around her. The mage immediately forgot her pride and leant into that embrace, then she buried her face in the man's chest. Steinarius suddenly noticed that Agda was trembling like a leaf.

"It's all over", the Dragonborn said in order to calm his friend. Although he was trying to hide it, he was almost as scared and shocked as Agda. "That troll is dead, Agds. You're perfectly safe now".

The young mage faintly nodded, then she slowly pulled away from Steinarius. When he looked at her again, the man noticed that she was on the verge of tears.

"It's okay, Agda", he kindly told her. "Neither of us got hurt, whereas our enemies are dead. Moreover, your suggestion from earlier worked out just fine".

The young mage was surprised by the way Steinarius was seemingly trying to lift her spirits. When the man frowned, however, she immediately understood what he was about to say.

"Agda, you gave me an excellent suggestion earlier", the Imperial carefully pointed out. "Yet, from now things will get even more dangerous. To say it all, I think it would be better for us to…"

"We're not parting ways", Agda quickly broke Steinarius off. Despite her fearful expression, her voice was surprisingly firm. "I want to keep going".

Steinarius sighed at that. He was doing his best to keep Agda safe, but he knew he couldn't take care of her for the rest of their adventure.

"Agda, we've come to a dangerous place", he reminded her. "This was just the beginning and I'm afraid of what will happen in the next few hours. If you headed to the nearest village and waited for me there, I would feel much better. You've already suffered enough for Winterhold and its people, so no one will complain if you step aside now".

Agda welcomed those words by shaking her head.

"I don't care about what others may think", she weakly admitted. "I only know that, if I stepped aside now, I would never be able to look myself in the mirror again".

Steinarius made to protest, but Agda stopped him with a gesture.

"Steinarius, please", she said with a surprisingly tired voice. "Let's not argue again. You know I'm not going to change my mind".

There was a long moment of silence during which the Dragonborn looked the little mage right in the eyes. Agda was trying to be stoic, but she couldn't deceit him: the Imperial knew her too well to ignore that her lower lip was quivering, that her eyes were full of tears, that her cheeks were even paler than usual; also, his werewolf senses were too heightened to miss Agda's frantic heartbeat and the faint trace of sickness coming from her skin. The Dragonborn perfectly knew that his friend was not feeling fine - yet, he also knew she was too stubborn to change her mind.

With a sigh, Steinarius eventually decided to stop questioning Agda's choices. At the same time, however, he hoped to come across another dangerous situation that could cause the girl to change her mind about that adventure - and in that remote place, Steinarius knew that such situations were going to arise very soon.

* * *

Agda was rather relieved when Steinarius stopped questioning her choices and decided to keep exploring Labyrinthian with her. The girl had been scared by the way that troll had almost killed her, but she was still keen on helping the Dragonborn retrieve the Staff of Magnus.

Side by side, the two adventurers slowly made their way through the courtyard Labyrinthian. They both knew they had no time to lose, but they seemed too fascinated by the ancient ruins in front of their eyes to avoid exploring every inch of them.

Steinarius moved through the ancient city with a mixture of caution and elegance that caused Agda to look at him in surprise – with his weapons in his hands and his grey eyes full of concentration, the Dragonborn really did look like the prophesized savior of Skyrim. There was a certain appeal around him, a certain dignity that caused Agda to feel a tingle of pride at the thought that, once upon a time, that powerful Imperial had chosen a simple innkeeper like her as his companion.

Unlike Steinarius, who was walking through Labyrinthian with a mixture of nervousness and carefulness, Agda soon felt perfectly at ease inside those ancient ruins. There was something fascinating about that place, something that drew her there just like some special swords were drawn to the hands of capable warriors. Upon noticing how big and wonderful those ruins were, Agda even made the silent promise to go back and explore more of them with her friends from the College.

The girl's awe for Labyrinthian increased when she and the Dragonborn came across a weird rounded sanctuary in the middle of the courtyard. Inside it there were an unusual dragon shrine and the headless skeleton of a warrior.

Agda was rather shocked by the sight of that lifeless body. Steinarius, on the other hand, simply frowned and examined the corpse. A moment later, he crouched and grabbed a scrap of paper the unlucky warrior had been holding in his hand at the moment of his death.

" _It seemed like an easy enough job_ ", the Dragonborn read out loud. His eyes were narrow with concentration, whereas his face sported a worried frown. " _Some chinless Breton wants bodyguards for a trip into the mountains. Fine. Easy clink for us_.

" _The Breton goes on about this twice-forsaken mask of his the whole way. So we get here, he thumbs through some papers and mutters to himself and without so much as a warning, poof: he's put on that mask and vanished. I'd seen cloaks do invisibility before, but a few swings of my fist proved he wasn't pulling that one. Nothing there to hit_ ".

Steinarius made a poignant pause and looked Agda right in the eyes. Neither of them had ever heard of masks that could cause people to vanish into thin air.

" _The Breton shows up again, tells us he just needs more time_ ", the Imperial continued reading after a brief moment. " _Has to figure out something about other masks, and vanishes again. That was yesterday, and I'm done with twiddling my thumbs and writing letters to myself. We're leaving come sunrise and if he shows up again I promise Azura I'm putting this dagger through his chest to keep him in one place. We'll pull more loot off him dead than he could have paid alive. But not the mask. That cursed thing can stay and rot with him_ ".

There was another moment of silence during which Steinarius looked rather unsettled. Agda, on the other hand, wasn't impressed at all.

"Whoever wrote that, they were probably drunkards", she shrugged. "That mask doesn't look magical at all", she added while pointing at a little wooden manufact at her feet. Steinarius seemed to notice the mask just then and carefully took it into his hands.

"I know what this is", he muttered as though he was talking to himself. Confronted with a confused look on Agda's part, the Dragonborn explained what he meant. "This mask belonged to a dragon priest. I found a similar one when I killed some of those creatures in Solstheim".

Agda frowned. She knew that Labyrinthian had once been a huge center for the dragon cult, but dragon priest masks? That was something she'd never heard of.

"The most prominent dragon priests usually received a mask from the dragons themselves", Steinarius explained her. The man seemed rather unease when confronted with that topic. "Most of those items sported powerful enchantments and were buried with their owners. Now that Alduin is back, the strongest dragon priests have been reanimated too – and they really are tough enemies, Agda".

The young mage frowned. She didn't like the stern look on Steinarius' face.

"Have you met any of them already?"

"More times than I can count", the Dragonborn nodded. "And I can guarantee you that those meetings weren't pleasant at all".

As he spoke, Steinarius absent-mindedly rubbed the black scar on his cheek. That mark was partially hidden by his scrubble, but Agda's trained eyes didn't fail to notice that it derived from a rather recent injury. The girl mentally made a note to ask more about it as soon as she and Steinarius had a moment of peace.

"Maybe we should take that wooden mask with us", she said when she noticed the way Steinarius was analyzing that mysterious object. The man's grey eyes sparkled with a mixture of curiosity and fear and desire; moreover, they had become slightly golden.

"No, we shouldn't", the Imperial announced after what felt like a lifetime. Sighing, Steinarius stood up from his place on the ground and let the mask fall. "If someone wants to collect those masks, let them do it: it means that I'll have to kill less dragon priests myself".

Agda was surprised by the relief in the Imperial's voice.

"Are you scared of them?"

"Of the dragon priests? No, Agda, I'm not scared", Steinarius calmly replied. "I'm not scared, but I'm not stupid either: I can recognize a dangerous enemy when I see one and I know that it takes a rare combination of skills and good luck to take down a dragon priest".

"So you fear them".

"Not exactly: I don't fear them, but I respect them".

After giving Agda that enigmatic reply, Steinarius slowly made his way out of the little burial mound. The young mage, on the other hand, indulged in the weird building for another moment. Eventually, when the Dragonborn called her name, Agda grabbed the wooden mask on the floor and the note written by the dead thug. With a last look at the weird shrine, the girl hid the mask in her knapsack and made sure Steinarius wouldn't notice it. A moment later, she swore to herself she would return to Labyrinthian and unveil all the secrets held by the dragon priests of old.

* * *

Steinarius had always hoped to get through Labyrinthian very fast. Confronted with the huge size of those ruins, however, he had to accept reality: that place was so big that he didn't even know which way to go. That's why he and Agda eventually ended up in a rather fascinating structure surrounded by tall walls.

Steinarius was rather puzzled when the young mage increased her speed and walked past him with a completely captivated expression on her face. A moment later, when he found himself into a very large room without roof, the Imperial realized why his friend was so mesmerized by that mysterious area of Labyrinthian: because of his poor orientation skills, they had come across the infamous Maze of Shalidor.

Steinarius wasn't a scholar, but in his teenage years he'd been rather fond of books; as a consequence, he perfectly knew that that structure had been built by the greatest wizard of the First Era in order to test the skills of the Archmages of Winterhold. Those facts were probably enough to explain Agda's fascination with that place; yet, when the girl walked towards the outer walls of the maze without even noticing the charred corpse that laid at her feet, the Dragonborn frowned in alarm and immediately headed towards her.

"Agda, we've gone the wrong way", Steinarius said as soon as he reached his friend. "There is nothing for us here, so we should go back".

Much to his dismay, Steinarius noticed that Agda wasn't even listening to him.

"Agda, do you hear me?", he asked while grabbing the girl by the wrist. "We are losing precious time, so we don't…"

"There is one staff for each magical school", Agda suddenly said, thus breaking the Imperial off. "Restoration, Destruction, Illusion and Alteration. Only Conjuration is missing".

It took Steinarius a while to realize what the young mage was talking about. At last, after following Agda's gaze, the Imperial understood that she was staring at the entrance of the maze, where four magical staves had just appeared from a slot on the ground. When the girl took a few steps towards the entry of the labyrinth and gently touched those weapons, a rather alarmed Steinarius immediately made to stop her.

"Agda, this is not a good idea", he warned her. "Look at that poor charred fellow over there: he probably entered the maze and got himself cooked. We should get out of here, and fast".

When Agda didn't seem to listen to him, Steinarius sighed in exasperation. A moment later, he walked back to the corpse at the entrance of the room and grabbed the note the lifeless body was holding in his hand. The Dragonborn wished that little scrap of paper to contain a vivid description of the horrors inside Shalidor's Maze; he was therefore rather surprised when he realized that the note hosted a weird riddle he'd never heard before.

"Enter twice - exit only once", he read out loud. "Alteration…

"Alteration will lead you to Destruction", Agda continued from there. To Steinarius' shock, the girl was quoting the note by heart, "Only Illusion shows the way to Restoration. Conjure not, but be conjured instead".

Before Steinarius could ask her why she knew about that riddle, Agda did something completely unexpected: she opened the door to the labyrinth by summoning a globe of light, then she disappeared inside that ancient maze.

* * *

Being a mage, Agda knew everything about the great Shalidor and his research. In particular, being a mage from Winterhold, the girl knew all the stories related to the creation of Shalidor's Maze and the way that structure had been used for centuries in order to choose the new archmages of her college. As a consequence, when she found herself in front of that majestic labyrinth, the young Nord couldn't help but venture inside it.

Agda actually didn't know what irrational force had drawn her there and realized the extent of her mistake only when she found herself alone inside the maze. Yet, even then the girl didn't feel worried in the slightest: she only sensed a great wave of peace washing over her, almost as though all her life had led her to that decisive moment. Spurred by that idea, Agda ventured further into the labyrinth. She didn't care about the way Steinarius was desperately calling her name, just like she didn't care about the many skeevers she encountered on her path: right then, Agda could only think of the riddle she'd said out loud a few minutes earlier.

Just like the girl expected, she was soon asked to use a Destruction spell in order to access the following part of the maze. Once there she relied on her knowledge of Illusion and Restoration to reach the weird Conjuration sigil on the wall.

Agda had always wondered what the last line of Shalidor's riddle meant.

" _Not to conjure and to be conjured instead_ ", she repeated.

Hopefully, that weird sigil on the wall would soon help her disclose that secret.

* * *

Steinarius had never been so scared in his whole life – or, at least, he'd never been so scared in the last three years. First a dragon and two frost trolls had threatened both him and Agda; then another foul creature had almost hurt his friend; now, instead, said friend had willingly abandoned him in order to venture into a maze.

As he desperately tried to summon a magelight and enter that damned labyrinth, Steinarius couldn't stop cursing himself for allowing Agda to follow him into Labyrinthian. He should have tied her to a stone, he thought: after all, with her careless behavior, that girl was seriously putting their lives in danger. To say it all, the Dragonborn was utterly shocked by Agda's attitude: until a few minutes earlier he had namely had no idea that the once wimpy innkeeper could be so brave as to venture in Shalidor's Maze without him. During her time in the Colege the young Nord had probably become a very good mage. Despite that awareness, Steinarius could do nothing to ease the anxiety he was feeling at the moment. Willing to keep his friend safe, the Dragonborn banged his fist once again on the huge gate to Shalidor's Maze.

Had Agda got out of there alive, Steinarius thought, the would have used the legendary force of his voice to give her a decent scolding. He was a warrior, for Talos' sake, not some kind of nanny for capricious mages!

All of a sudden, the Dragonborn's attention was drawn by a loud explosion. When he turned his head, the Imperial deadpanned: Agda had just emerged from a globe of light together with three angry Atronachs and a Dremora.

Steinarius was completely shocked by that sight: in his life he'd hunted with the Companions, he'd fought in the Civil War, he'd ventured in many different ruins long before Alduin and his friends started roaming the skies of Skyrim; yet, he had never seen a Dremora from up-close.

Upon realizing that that creature was keen on harming Agda, the Dragonborn let out a yell and charged. Before Steinarius could even approach his target, however, another loud explosion caused him to fly a few meters away and hit his head against the hard stone wall of the maze. As the man slowly slid to the ground, he saw a curtain of fire in front of his eyes. A moment later, everything in Steinarius' world slowly became black.

* * *

Agda paid little attention to the explosion that took place right after she killed the Fire Atronach her enemy had summoned, and she paid even littler attention when the Frost Atronach evoked by the Dremora followed the same fate. _Not to Conjure, but be conjured instead_ , she thought - apparently, that foul creature had been waiting for her to cast a Conjuration spell to summon her to another dimension, then he'd taken advantage of her to reach the plane of Nirn.

Agda had actually been rather surprised by the Dremora's unexpected appearance; yet, she dispatched that creature and its Atronach allies much more rapidly than predicted. Thanks to a lovely combination of fire runes, defensive wards and Conjuration magic, the young Nord quickly killed her enemies - and as the Dremora crumbled to ash, Agda got hold of the precious diadema the creature had sported until a few minutes earlier.

Fascinated by that jewel, the young mage carefully analyzed its precious enchantment. Upon realizing how silent the courtyard of the maze was, however, Agda noticed that something was wrong, deeply and horrible wrong – and only then did the girl notice that Steinarius was laying unconscious on the floor.

Cursing under her breathe, the girl hung the diadema around her neck and ran up to the injured Imperial. She slowly turned him on his back, then she carefully checked the man's vital signs. Apart from a bluish bruise on his temple, the Dragonborn looked completely unhurt.

Sighing in relief, Agda laid her hands on the Imperial's chest and cast a quick restoration spell. Thanks to the diadema she'd put around her neck while running towards Steinarius, that effort cost her less magicka than usual; at the same time, Agda noticed that her health conditions had got much better: she wasn't feeling dizzy anymore and the pain in her ribs had finally subsided. It looked like venturing into Shalidor's Maze had been a very good idea.

There was a little whimper, then Steinarius slowly stirred. A moment later, the man opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Agda. Feeling proud of her victory against the Dremora, the girl smiled at him; the Dragonborn, on the other hand, was quick to slap her hand away as soon as the girl tried to touch him.

Judging from his expression, the Imperial was livid at the way Agda had ventured into Shalidor's Maze without him - and upon remembering the way he'd defended her from their enemies less than thirty minutes earlier, the girl realized that her behavior had been utterly inappropriate. At the same time, however, Agda noticed that she didn't really care about the Imperial's rage.

It was high time Steinarius stopped considering her a gutless innkeeper with no skills whatsoever - and hopefully enough, her successful adventure in Shalidor's Maze would help the Imperial change his mind about her. After all, Agda thought, she wasn't a fearful girl anymore - quite on the contrary, she was a grown woman who had just survived an ancient test to prove the skills of the archmages of Winterhold. As a consequence, the young Nord felt even more determined to accompany the Dragonborn in his quest throughout Labyrinthian.


	49. Times are changing

**Author's note:**

 **My dear followers, here I am with a new, hopefully exciting instalment.**

 **First things first, I deeply thank all my readers, old and new alike, for their great support. Second of all, I send a heartfelt _thank you_ to my faithful reviewers: Valtieri, Elspeth and Maz1X.**

 **As for Elspeth's review, I'm glad you enjoyed my take on the way dragon souls are absorbed. Also, I hope your feeling about Agda and Stein will soon prove to be right ;)**

 **As for Valtieri, I agree with you about the difference between Skyrim and Oblivion. The quests in Oblivion were all very detailed, whereas the dungeons were rather dull. In Skyrim instead we often had the opposite problem (though I actually adored some of the Guild-related quests). Oh, and speaking of your review, I must thank you for that remark about my style: I didn't know that words like _moreover_ are considered formal, so I found your advice very useful.**

 **As for Maz1X, I am amazed by your loyal support and your many reviews. You are so kind to me! Also, you did a great job at guessing what the future has in store for Agda. First, however, she'll need to survive the terrible combo represented by Labyrinthian _and_ Steinarius. **

**As for this chapter, I must admit I'm very excited about it - therefore, without any further words, I present you the first part of Agda's adventure in Bromjunaar.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Scoffing in annoyance, Steinarius cast a glance towards Agda. The young mage was walking by his side, her newly-found diadema hanging around her neck and a rather proud expression on her face.

As he noticed how smug Agda looked, Steinarius scoffed again. Over the previous few days he had done everything he could to keep the girl safe - he'd explored Mzulft on her behalf, he'd tried to talk her out of her suicidal mission, he'd shielded her with his own body less than an hour earlier; and in return, Agda had left him behind while she ventured into a dangerous maze.

 _It's not that bad_ , one of the familiar voices inside Steinarius' head suddenly said. _After all, Agda did a very good job in Shalidor's maze; and then, it's not like she intentionally got us hurt_.

Remembering the nasty bruise on his temple, Steinarius snorted.

 _Agda didn't mean to hurt us, of course she didn't_ , the other of the two bickering voices in his mind replied. _Yet, her plan was a total failure: we lost consciousness while trying to help her and we've been feeling dizzy ever since - and we were lucky that Fire Atronach exploded a few feet away from us. Had we been a little bit closer..._

With a displeased sigh, Steinarius mentally replayed the scene of his accident for the thousandth time. One moment he was outside Shalidor's Maze, screaming Agda's name before panicking when the girl appeared in front of his eyes together with a Dremora and three angry Atronachs; the next he was on the floor, the noise of a loud explosion in his ears and a silent prayer to the Divines in his mind - _please let me and Agda be safe_. And now the girl he'd got so worried about was walking next to him as though nothing had happened. Steinarius didn't want Agda to fuss over him or feel sorry because of her clumsy plan, but he believed the girl owed him at least an apology. Spurred by that thought, the Dragonborn eventually broke the silence that reigned between him and the young mage.

"You really are incredible, you know that?", he said in a harsher manner than he'd originally planned to. "I get knocked out because of you and you act as though everything was fine".

Agda replied to those words by shrugging her shoulder.

"You are alive, I am alive, neither of us is feeling bad: that's why I act as though everything was fine - because, as a matter of fact, everything _is_ fine".

Confronted with that unexpected reply, Steinarius frowned. Thanks to his heightened senses he could detect the blood on Agda's undershirt, just like he could feel that the girl was still sick; yet, the mage was pretending everything was fine. Considering how dangerous their upcoming task was, Steinarius didn't approve that attitude at all.

"There's no need to pretend, Agda", he brusquely pointed out. "To say it all, I'm still dizzy from that accident with the atronach - and, even if you're trying to hide it, you're not doing fine either".

Once again, Agda's reaction took Steinarius by surprise.

"I don't know what you're talking about - and most of all, I'd like to point out that it wasn't my fault if you got hurt".

This time the shock was so great that Steinarius even stopped walking.

"Really, Agda? Whose fault was it then?"

Annoyed by that unpleasant interrogation, the girl turned to face the Imperial and replied to his words with another question.

"Tell me, Steinarius: what happens when a Fire Atronach gets killed?"

"What kind of stupid question is that? Even a brainless skeever knows that Fire Atronachs explode!"

"Exactly", Agda confirmed with a nod. "Which is why an experienced warrior like you should know better than approaching a Fire Atronach that is about to get killed - unless you intentionally wanted to get hurt and have me fuss over you".

Confronted with that accusation, Steinarius felt his cheeks become as red as a tomato.

"I didn't want to get hurt, and I certainly didn't want you to fuss over me! I was just trying to protect you!"

Agda rolled her eyes at that.

"You'll never get it, Steinarius, won't you? I never asked for your protection and, even if you don't believe it, I can look after myself!"

" _Of course_ you can look after yourself! Tell me, Agda, what's the story behind those new scars on your face? Did you get them because they're fashionable? Or did it happen because you actually couldn't protect yourself when you needed to?"

There was a long moment of silence, during which Steinarius could see a few tears welling up in Agda's eyes. As he noticed her reaction, the man mentally insulted himself. Agda had shed her face mask during their ride towards Labyrinthian, a fact the Dragonborn had immediately taken as a sign of trust - after all, in Winterhold the girl had been too ashamed to show her new scars to her friends. And now, he'd thrown everything away just because of his usual potty mouth.

" _You_ are incredible, not me", Agda faintly murmured, thus breaking the perfect silence that for a long while had reigned over Labyrinthian. "You say you want to protect me, but you always end up hurting me. Do you know what, Steinarius? I hope that one day someone will treat you like Ancano treated me. I hope they'll make you feel lonely and frail and powerless and that they'll hurt you as badly as that monster did to me - and when that happens, I'll be there to mock you because you got hurt!"

"This is not the point", Steinarius muttered through gritted teeth. He'd been rather surprised by the violence of Agda's wish, but he knew that he fully deserved it. "The point is..."

"The point is that you're as heartless as the dragons you're meant to slay!", Agda broke the Imperial off. "I guess that people like you are the very same reason why the end of the world would be a good thing! Actually, I can't even understand why the Divines thought you'd be fit for saving us all from Alduin. You're a monster., Steinarius, not a hero!"

Maybe for the first time since they met, Agda's words managed to cut through Steinarius' granitic defense. The Imperial gave her a pained and confused look, but when he made to speak nothing came out.

For once in his life he was completely, utterly speechless.

* * *

When Steinarius' eyes found hers, Agda didn't look away. She wanted him to see the determination that burned there, she wanted him to feel her rage, she wanted him to sense how powerful she'd become while in Winterhold; but most of all, she realized, she wanted him to know that she hated him.

It took her a long while to finally break that contact, but the young mage eventually resumed walking towards the main temple of Labyrinthian. As soon as she turned her back to Steinarius, a loud clang echoed through the ruins.

"If you want to fight your way through Labyrinthian, you'll need this", the Dragonborn said while pointing at a weird object he'd just thrown to the ground. "As for me, I think it's high time you and I parted ways. Monsters like me don't get on with heroes like you".

When Steinarius turned his back to her and started walking away, Agda was overcome by a hurricane of feelings. Part of her wanted to run after the Imperial, to grab him by the elbow, to apologize to him for getting him hurt and disobeying his orders; another part of her instead felt the need to set Steinarius on fire and dance around the pire until that arrogant warrior turned into ash.

Caught between those very different states of mind, Agda stood perfectly motionless as the Dragonborn slowly walked away from her. She noticed the way his cloak floated behind him, the way his back seemed to give in under the heavy weight of his shield and his bow, the way his dark robes stood out in the snow; then, however, the girl resumed walking until she faced the entrance of Labyrinthian.

It was high time she proved that arrogant Imperial that she was among the best mages of Skyrim.

* * *

Steinarius didn't feel anything as he reached his horse and slowly caressed its velvety nose. He didn't feel anger, he didn't feel happiness, he didn't feel hatred; to say it all, the Dragonborn felt nothing at all - and that's what worried him the most. Perhaps Agda was right: he'd really turned into a monster.

All of a sudden the Imperial remembered one of the many nights he'd spent in Riverwood with the girl. He recalled the warmth of Agda's body against his own, her soft kisses on his lips, the tender smile that lighted up her features whenever she was with him. Then, Steinarius remembered pulling away from the young Nord and cupping her face in his hands.

 _You are the only one who doesn't treat me as a monster_ , he'd told her out of the blue. _And I really must thank you for that, Agds_.

Moved by the sufferance in his eyes and his voice, the Nord had gently tousled his hair and caressed his face.

 _You are not a monster, Stein_ , she'd reassured him with her usual loving smile. _You're just a simple man with a heavy burden on his shoulder. Don't worry, however: I'll always be there to help you carry it._

As that quick memory vanished, Steinarius bitterly shook his head. Over the previous months he'd thrown away Agda's love, he'd thrown away her trust, he'd even thrown away her respect, and now the girl had finally lost her temper and called him a monster. It wasn't the first time somebody called him that, of course it wasn't; yet, it was the first time those words actually got to the Dragonborn. Becoming a monster had always been Steinarius' biggest fear, something Agda was very well aware of - and by telling him her opinion about him, she'd made it clear that things between them were now over, helplessly and hopelessly over.

 _Did you really believe a different ending was possible?_ , a malicious voice inside Steinarius' mind suddenly whispered. _Did you really hope that being the Dragonborn would prevent you from becoming a monster? It's time you faced the truth, Crepusculus: your best friend was murdered by a usurper, your son is dead, your wife dumped you without an explanation; you fought in the war, you murdered many rebels in cold blood, you killed more people than you can count; on top on that, you're a werewolf, you're champion to Hermaeus Mora and you've got the soul of a dragon. Agda is right: you really are a monster, Steinarius._

While listening to those words, Steinarius nodded. Somehow, he believed that seductive voice to be completely right.

 _You always knew how it would end_ , the voice continued. _With you, alone, waiting to die in the fight against Alduin - and when you die, no one will mourn you. They may build you statues, they may write songs about you, but no one will really miss you - not your friends, not your family, not even your loved ones. They only put up with you because they hope you will defeat Alduin and save their lives, not because they actually care about you; as a consequence, you'd better do the world a favor and take your leave as soon as you accomplish your mission. That's why the Divines chose you for killing Alduin: not because you're a hero, but because your death won't trouble anyone._

Sighing, Steinarius admitted that the voice was perfectly right. Willing to finally put an end to his misery, the man hopped on his horse and began jogging east.

It was high time he talked to the Greybeards and finally fulfilled his destiny.

* * *

Crunching on a loaf of bread, Agda sighed. Upon entering Labyrinthian, the girl had had a weird vision starring the late Savos Aren and some other unknown mages. Shocked by that unexpected encounter, the young Nord had decided to take a break, eat something and gulp a couple of healing potions before venturing into the main part of the former city of Bromjunaar. Hopefully enough, some food would prevent her from having further visions.

As the pain in her ribs became stronger, Agda grimaced. Until then she'd behaved stoically because she didn't want Steinarius to notice how much she was suffering; now that she was alone, however, the girl couldn't take her mind off the stinging sensation that surrounded her whole torso. When she understood that the scars left by Ancano had probably resumed bleeding, Agda hoped draugrs couldn't detect the upsetting smell coming from her injuries.

"I'd feel much safer if Steinarius were here", the mage suddenly sighed.

Agda herself was shocked by the words she'd just uttered out loud. Steinarius had been as mean as usual to her, he'd almost caused her to cry, he'd implied once again that she couldn't protect herself; as a consequence, calling him a monster was the least Agda could have done in return. Yet, the girl felt sorry for the way she'd treated him.

Sighing in confusion, the young mage suddenly remembered a night she'd spent in Riverwood with Steinarius, during which the man had made love to her with a passion and a sweetness she'd never witnessed before - and as she'd been about to fall asleep on his chest, the Imperial had thanked her because, despite his fate as the Last Dragonborn, she was always there to help him and treat him like a common human being. Agda knew how troubled Steinarius was, she knew how much he'd suffered throughout his life, she knew that becoming a monster was his biggest fear - and as she remembered about that tender night in Riverwood, the girl asked herself how she would feel if she were in the Dragonborn' shoes.

 _Imagine, Agda: one moment you're an accomplished soldier, you've just captured Ulfric Stormcloak and you believe that the war is about to end; the next they tell you that you're the Last Dragonborn and that you're meant to save the world - and if you fail, everyone you know will perish. It's not that surprising that this task eventually messed up with Steinarius' head!_

Spurred by that thought, Agda frowned. She knew that Steinarius was scared by his destiny, she knew that he'd suffered a lot throughout his life, she also knew that his inner wolf often made him behave like a heartless jerk; yet, that was no valid excuse for the way he'd just treated her - after all, being the Dragonborn didn't allow you to be mean to the only person who still put up with your craziness.

Encouraged by that thought, Agda finally stood up from her place on the floor and threw her loaf of bread to the ground. It was high time she stopped thinking about Steinarius and his annoying attitude: she already had enough problems of her own and clearly didn't need an overconfused Imperial to make matters even worse.

* * *

As his horse drank the water he'd just provided him, Steinarius ran a hand through his hair. He would have liked to reach High Hrothgar before nightfall, thus turning his back to Agda, to Winterhold and to all their problems. Yet, the Imperial had immediately discovered that he couldn't bring himself to do that. That's why, after riding east for a few minutes, he'd abruptly stopped his horse and headed for Stonehills. From there he would be able to check on Agda every once in a while and to make sure the girl made it out of Labyrinthian before dawn. Had she not exited the place by then, Steinarius would have taken it upon himself to venture into the ruins and look for that overconfindent mage.

"It's been a while since we last met", a woman suddenly spoke.

When he turned his head, Steinarius found himself face to face with Sorli, the woman who ran Rockwallow Mine on Thane Bryling's behalf. His acquaintance with her dated back a long time.

"I take it you're not heading to Solitude", the tall Nord added. "Also, I take you're not doing very well".

Steinarius scoffed at that. He hadn't used a mirror in quite a while, but he knew that right then he probably looked like a bandit who'd just ran away from his camp after a close encounter with the Companions.

"No one is doing well these days", he replied, thus hoping Sorli wouldn't ask him any further question. "And no, I'm afraid that this time I cant' talk to Bryling on your behalf".

"Fair enough", Sorli said with an amused smile. "You know, Steinarius, it's amazing how you always manage to guess my thoughts. Actually, I think you know me much better than my own husband - and I probably know you better than your wife did".

Under other circumstances, Steinarius would have smiled politely at that; yet, right then the Imperial couldn't bring himself to show any sign of amusement. Sorli and Vigdis had once been close friends, therefore the woman knew everything about his troubled love life - and in return, Steinarius perfectly knew that the miner's marriage wasn't a happy one. It wasn't the first time Sorli made a reference to their unlucky relationships, but for once the Imperial felt annoyed by that intrusion into his personal life.

Luckily enough, before Steinarius could find a way out of that unpleasant situation, a loud roar echoed through the nearby mountains. That sound was enough for the Imperial to grab his sword and get into a fighting stance. His trained ears had namely recognized the battle cry of an ancient dragon.

"It's one of the two fire-spitting lizards from Skyborn Altar", Sorli explained when she noticed the way Steinarius had tensed up. "One of them is quite small, the other one instead is rather impressive. Luckily enough, the big dragon still hasn't bothered us, as it prefers to roam the area around Labyrinthian".

As he heard those words, Steinarius deadpanned. A moment later, he hopped on his horse without even bidding Sorli farewell. If Agda still hadn't entered the ruins, she was about to have a close encounter with a rather angry ancient dragon - and despite the nasty words they'd exchanged less than half an hour earlier, Steinarius wasn't ready to let that happen.

* * *

As she put her loaf of bread back in the knapsack, Agda began exploring the foyer of Labyrinthian. That room was very creepy: it was lit by very few braziers, it was cold and dusty, it smelled like dampness and mold. But most of all, there were many dead corpses that had seemingly been left in front of the entrance as a warning.

A _bandon hope all ye who enter_ , Agda thought. _They did find a rather conving way to convey that message._

After exploring that room, Agda moved to the following chamber. Once there, the ghosts of Savos Aren and his fellow mages visited her again. When they vanished into thin air, the girl noticed a lever in the middle of the room. With a worried frown, Agda moved it, thus activating a mechanism that opened the door to the following chamber. The young Nord was surprised by that wide area: it namely resembled an arena and hosted a weird burial mound in its center. Alarmed by that sight, Agda readied a spell and unsheated her sword. A moment later, hell broke loose.

When a few skeletons attacked her, Agda didn't lose her cool: waltzing through the chamber, she traced a path of fire runes and summoned a few fire atronachs to aid her in that fight. At the same time the mage began casting a rapid series of shock and frost spells at her enemies.

At first the young Nord seemed perfectly able to stand her own in that heated fight. Yet, when a loud roar echoed through the room, everything changed - to Agda's dismay, a huge skeletal dragon had namely entered the battlefield. The girl was shocked by the appearance unexpected enemy - so shocked that for a moment she remained perfectly still, thus allowing a skeleton to pierce the sleeve of her robes with a sharp arrow. Surprised by that close encounter with a weapon, Agda began running like mad throughout the little chamber. Only then did she realize that the door to the previous room had been magically sealed behind her.

Panicking, Agda eventually found herself face to face with the skeletal dragon. The beast opened its jaw and prepared to spit fire at her, thus causing the girl to summon a weak ward and close her eyes - it was too late to move and she clearly didn't want to witness her own death. To Agda' surprise, however, after a few seconds she still hadn't been engulfed in a sea of flames. Quite on the contrary, the girl soon received a powerful shove that made her fall to the ground.

Confused by that sudden encounter with the hard ground of that huge chamber, Agda opened her eyes. When she did, she noticed a weird man waltzing around the dragon. The stranger resembled Steinarius and was moving around its opponent in a surprisingly skillful and fearless way.

"Agds, get on your feet and dispatch the skeletons!"

Confronted with that scream, the mage realized that the man who'd come to aid her really was Steinarius. At the same time, she realized that his orders surprisingly made sense.

Willing to put an end to that fight, Agda got up and immediately resumed casting spells at the remaining skeletons. When the last of them fell to the ground, a loud shriek echoed through the room. Upon turning her head at the source of the noise, Agda noticed that the huge undead dragon had been beheaded; beside its corpse, a rather pale Steinarius had fallen to his knees. Surprised by that display of weakness, the mage slowly approached her ally.

"Is it..."

"Dead", the Imperial grimaced in reply. "Although, technically, it was already dead. It didn't even have a soul for me to absorb".

Agda was surprised by the relief in Steinarius' voice - and she was even more surprised when she finally took a good look at him. The Imperial' cuirass was namely covered in ash and blood, whereas his gauntlets were missing; moreover, his face was surprisingly pale, while his eyes were completely golden. A moment later, when the man began retching, the mage was quick to place a hand on his shoulder.

"What..."

"Too many fights", Steinarius replied with effort. "I turned into a werewolf to get to you as fast as I could, but I had to shift back to my human self when I met an ancient dragon in the courtyard. The change was very rapid, therefore I didn't have enough time to absorb the soul of that beast. I suppose that's why I'm vomiting: I've stressed my body too much because I wanted to get to you you as fast as I could".

Agda remained speechless for a moment. A part of her was moved by Steinarius' efforts to reach her, but the other still hadn't forgotten everything the man had put her through over the previous hours, days and weeks.

"I never asked you to check on me", the mage coldly said after processing her feelings. She had namely realized she didn't want Steinarius to feel like her savior. "As I already told you, I can look after myself. And then, I had everything under control when you arrived".

"Of course you had everything under control!", Steinarius chuckled. When the Nord made to protest, the man sighed and gestured for her to let him speak. "Agds, listen to me: you're a good mage, I've got that, but this place is too dangerous for you to explore it on your own. Hell, even I couldn't make it on my own in a place like this! I know that our adventure didn't start well, and I know that you probably hate me by now. Yet, this is not about you and me getting on: this is about being professional and working together for the sake of Winterhold. I promise that, if you follow my orders, everything will be alright".

"I don't need to follow your orders", Agda hastily replied. "This place was built by a mage and only a mage can disclose its secrets!"

Those words caused Steinarius to roll his eyes.

"Agds, would you _please_ stop behaving like a stubborn little goat?", the man cried out in exasperation. "For Talos' sake, the last mage who explored this place ended up becoming a charred corpse right outside Shalidor's Maze!"

"And the last dragonborn who explored this place ended up becoming a dragon priest!"

Steinarius sighed at that, then he slowly got up from his knees.

"You don't need me to protect you, I get that", he slowly said. "And I get it that you're going to explore this place with or without me. If you don't want me to follow you, however, you'll have to knock me out and tie me somewhere, because there's no way I'm letting you face such a huge danger without backup!"

There was a tense moment during which Agda actually thought of her chances to paralyze Steinarius with the power of the Serpent Stone and leave him to rot in that huge chamber. At last, eventually, the girl understood that that strategy would only be a waste of energy.

When the Nord rolled her eyes and finally gestured for him to follow her, Steinarius sighed in relief. _Who are you, and what have you done to Agda?_ , he would have liked to ask the young mage. Then, however, the man realized the truth: the sweet innkeeper he once used to know had turned into a determined woman with the braveness of a sabrecat - and although he found it hard to believe, that determined woman clearly didn't need his help to venture into a dangerous place like Labyrinthian.

* * *

Exploring Labyrinthian was a rather surprising experience for Agda. At first the girl was tense, but then she eventually learned to savor every place she came across.

Thinking she was the first person in years to set foot in those chambers sent a shiver down her spine; also, imagining the story of the rooms she was visiting made her feel as though she was taking a walk inside the very history of Skyrim.

While Agda was very fascinated by the ancient city of Bromjunaar, Steinarius couldn't help but feel nervous. As an Imperial, he didn't feel at ease roaming through those ancient Nordic halls; also, the many enemies constantly had him worried for Agda. To tell the truth, Steinarius and the mage soon elaborated a successful strategy: after she almost incinerated him twice because he'd got in the way of her spells, the Dragonborn namely realized it was better to let Agda create her traps and summon her atronachs before he eventully charged at their opponents. Thanks to that, the Imperial could dispatch the many undead on their path in a rather simple and fast way. At the same time, Steinarius understood that sheer force wasn't everything in battle - Agda' smarts were namely as lethal as his own muscles.

While walking through the ancient city of Bromjunaar, the two fighters came across some rather unexpected surprises. The frequent appearances of Savos Aren's ghost quite upset them, and so did the booming voice they soon began to hear.

"That wasn't the common tongue", Agda pointed out after that voice spoke for the first time. "Also, it has drained all my magicka".

"It actually sounded like the dragon tongue", Steinarius confirmed.

"Did you understand what it said?"

When the Imperial shook his head, Agda deadpanned.

"I thought you were fluent in the language of dragons!"

"Actually, my vocabulary is rather limited", Steinarius sheepishly admitted. "I can say that my sister is beautiful, though. And I can also apologize in draconic".

Agda gave the man a puzzled look.

"You don't have any sister".

Confronted with that objection, Steinarius sighed.

"You must always spoil the fun, right? _Krosis_ to you then!"

The man's good humor, however, was rather short-lived. A few minutes after that weird dialogue, he and Agda namely came across the decomposed corpse of an Argonian.

"You shouldn't look at that, Agds", Steinarius said while shielding that lifeless body from Agda's view.

"I'm not a child, Steinarius", the girl replied. "And then, I didn't give you permission to call me _Agds_ ".

The Dragonborn was rather surprised by Agda's reply, but he clearly saw her become paler when confronted with the corpse of that poor Argonian woman.

"She was one of Savos Aren's companions", the mage said after a moment of silence. In her voice, Steinarius could feel a slight tingle of worry.

"You're not an Argonian, and I'm not Savos Aren", he said in an attempt to calm Agda. "Actually, we're much better than your Archmage and his friends: whatever dwells in here, it won't have any chance against us".

"I know", Agda immediately replied. "By the way, you are the one who's scared, not me".

Once again, Steinarius gave the girl a baffled look.

This new Agda definitely had a fire in her.

* * *

Agda didn't know how long she and Steinarius walked. When they came across a small room that hosted a bed and the skeleton of a dead enchanter, the girl was tempted to ask the man for a break. Her feet were hurting, and so were her scars; but most of all, the mage was slowly starting to feel dizzy: although she was trying hard to deny it, all the efforts from that long day were rapidly catching up on her.

"We can stop here for the night", Steinarius said as though he'd just read her mind. "You look very tired, Agda".

Those final words managed to anger the young mage once more. She actually felt safe knowing that Steinarius was by her side and she actually found his renewed kindness rather amusing. Yet, she didn't want him to believe that she was more tired than him.

"I'm not tired", she stubbornly replied. "Let's move on".

The Imperial tried to protest, but the girl was quick to shut him up with a gesture. Agda heard him murmur something in annoyance, but decided to keep going anyway.

Over the following hour the two adventurers found themselves in rather dangerous situations: they had to face a couple of angry trolls, they were forced to walk inside a river, they were confronted with the spectral voice on many differet occasions.

Feeling more and more tired, Agda drank as many stamina potions as she could. The girl hoped Steinarius would tire before her: had she gulped a few more vials, she would have probably ended up with a serious intoxication.

While pondering her situation, Agda and Steinarius found themselves in a corridor that hosted a weird grate in the middle. The man carefully approached it.

"This looks rather old", he said while stepping over it. "I wonder what would happen if it opened".

Right then, almost as though something had heard the Imperial's wish, the grate suddenly burst open.

Agda heard Steinarius scream, then she heard a loud clang. A moment later, she ran to the pit and looked inside it. When she realized that the Imperial was surrounded by five angry draugr overlords, Agda didn't hesitate: despite her tiredness, she readied the most powerful spell she'd learned until then.

* * *

When the first coffin to his right burst open, Steinarius scoffed. He was sure that the unexpected fall had caused him to sprain his ankle and he was sure that fighting a draugr in that condition was going to be very difficult. When three more enemies approached, the man realized he was in for a very close encounter with death.

Without losing his calm, Steinarius slowly got up from his crouching position and looked the draugrs in their dead eyes. A moment later, he used a shout to paralyze two of them, then he charged at the remaining ones.

At first the Imperial seemed to have the upper hand: surprised by his strength, one of the draugrs met its end in less than a heartbeat. The other one, however, carried a shield that made it very difficult to get to its heart.

Grunting in effort, Steinarius managed to disarm its opponent and thrust his sword through its skull. At the same time, however, a sharp bolt of pain reverberated through his whole body. As he fell to the ground, the Dragonborn realized that one of the paralyzed draugrs had got back to its feet and cut through his armor with a lethal ebony hammer.

Confronted with the bitter laughter of that undead creature, Steinarius realized that it was going to be very difficult for him to survive.

* * *

When she saw Steinarius fall under the blow of an enormous draugr, Agda understood that time was running out. Without waiting, she therefore jumped in the pit where the man had clumsily ended up. As soon as her feet touched ground, the girl immediately used the power of the Serpent Stone.

When the undead that was threatening Steinarius was paralyzed once again, Agda was quick to thrust her sword through its chest. In the meanwhile, the Storm Atronach she'd previously summoned took care of the last standing draugr. When the conjured creature crumbled into ash, Agda faced that dangerous enemy. She created a fire rune to stop it, but the draugr skillfully avoided it. Overrun by fear, the girl closed her eyes and summoned a defensive ward. Before the draugr got to her, however, it was swiped off its feet by a shout on Steinarius' part. Taking advantage of that moment, Agda thrust her sword through the thick skull of the undead.

There was a long moment of silence during which Agda could clearly listen to way her heart was beating madly in her chest. When she heard Steinarius whine in pain, however, the girl was quick to forget her tiredness and approach him. The Imperial's face was a mask of pain, whereas one of his arms was completely limp.

"I've been a fool", Steinarius said as soon as Agda crouched beside him. They were both panting and were completely covered in blood.

"You're always a fool", the girl replied. Despite her harsh words, she was sincerely worried for her friend.

"Yeah, tell me about that. Falling through a pit in the ground... I'm in awe I survived this far".

When the man whined again, Agda suggested he stopped talking. Then, with swift and rapid movements, she helped him took off his cuirass and carefully analyzed his arm.

"That Blade armor is incredibly resistant", she commented. "Your shoulder is dislocated, but doesn't seem broken. Had you been wearing any other armor, that draugr would have probably cut off your arm. Can you walk?"

Steinarius shook his head.

"I'm afraid I sprained my ankle".

Agda rolled her eyes at that.

"You have a sprained ankle and a dislocated shoulder", she resumed. "And to say that you were here to protect me, Steinarius. I don't think it wasn't supposed to go the other way around".

"Can we please argue later, Agds? I'm suffering".

The mage was tempted to mock the Imperial again, but another whimper on his side had her change her mind. Despite her tiredness, she therefore sat down on the ground and began casting the strongest Restoration spells she knew.

It took almost an hour, but Steinarius' injuries eventually improved to the point where the man could walk and move his arm without pain. The Dragonborn was amazed by Agda's talent.

"You really are the best, Agds", he said after the girl had helped him to his feet. "Had it not been for you..."

Agda made to speak, but then she abruptly stopped. Steinarius frowned at the way the mage's eyes suddenly got wide and he frowned even more when the girl whispered something. The Imperial could only make out the word _help_ , then darted forward as fast as he could. When Agda fell limp in his arms, the man cursed.

After all the efforts from that long day, the young mage had finally given in to tiredness and to her old injuries.


	50. Fix you

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, after a rather stressful week here I am with a new update and the hugest _thank you_ of the world for each and everyone of you - your response to chapter 49 was simply amazing!**

 **As well as thanking all my readers/followers/favoriters, I'd like to mention all the people who've reviewed my story over the last few days - therefore, a special shout-out goes to Scepta101, MeanE, Maz1X, Elspeth, kaibaeskyrimer and Valtieri.**

 **As for Scepta101, I'm really glad you're enjoying my story; also, your reactions to chapter 25 and 36 were really amusing (yeeeeeees!). I do hope the following chapters will live up to your expectations!**

 **As usual, Maz1X, Elspeth, MeanE and Valtieri's reviews brought a wide smile on my face. I'm actually proud I could make a grown man squeal like a little girl - and that part of Maz1X's review proved once again that gamers are wonderful people with a fantastic sense of humor. Also, that review had me wonder: if Agda is a fire-breathing butterfly (loved that image) and Stein is a goofy golden retriever, what are Ancano and the other characters from my story?**

 **Just like MeanE, Elspeth and Valtieri pointed out, Agda has got veery sassy over the previous instalment - and poor, clumsy Stein actually doesn't know how to handle that new side of her personality. Apropos, I wonder how he hasn't been scorched to death by a dragon too - also, in my headcanon there is an important part of his past that is actually connected with Rannveig's Fast. I hate that place!**

 **Speaking of Steinarius' past, I really must thank kaibaeskyrimer for their kind words. I'm so glad you're in love with my story! As for your questions, I'd actually like to write a sequel and a prequel to this fic - the prequel focusing on Stein's relationship with Vigdis and the sequel talking of events that will take place in year 214 of the 4th Era. Would any of you be interested in reading that?**

 **Last but not least, I was really happy when Valtieri and MeanE noticed that Agda's attitude is causing a few troubles in her relationship with Steinarius; in other words, the two of them need to stop fighting, have a chat and get some sense in both their heads - and this chapter will help them do just that.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **21st of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

For the umpteenth time in a worringly short amount of time, Agda regained consciousness in a foreign environment. As she slowly opened her eyes, the mage grimaced more than once: her face felt as though it was on fire, whereas her limbs were overrun by violent shivers; on top of that, her whole body was in great pain.

When she realized how bad she was feeling, Agda mentally cursed. The girl perfectly remembered venturing into Labyrinthian, just like she remembered ignoring her tiredness just in order to impress Steinarius. When she noticed the bed she'd been carefully laid upon, however, Agda understood that something in her "let's kill more enemies than the Dragonborn" plan had likely gone wrong - the physical efforts from the previous hours and her abuse of magicka potions had namely caused her to pass out.

The first thing Agda saw when her eyes got used to the dim light of the chamber was the old bed she was laying on. Thanks to that detail the mage realized that she was in one of the smallest areas of Bromjunaar, in the very same room where an unlucky enchanter had met his end. Agda immediately wondered how she'd ended up in that place.

The girl found an answer to her question when a rather worried Steinarius appeared into her visual field. The man had shed his cuirass, so that now he was wearing only a pair of light breeches and a white shirt. Under his clothes Agda could see the bandages he had clumsily wrapped around his injured shoulder.

"It's good to see you awake", the man said when he realized that Agda was watching him. His grey eyes were full of tiredness and caution. "How are you?"

Agda scoffed. What kind of silly question was that?

"I'd feel much better if I hadn't passed out while trying to cure you", she hissed in pain.

Steinarius visibly cringed, but nonetheless ignored those words.

"I've placed a cold cloth against your forehead", he said instead. "Also, I've taken off your mage robes because they were damp and dirty. I was about to help you out of your trousers and boots too".

Agda made to sit up and protest against that treatment, but the simple act of raising her gaze caused her to feel dizzy. Sensing that the girl wasn't fine, Steinarius carefully helped her lay down again. Overrun by a sudden feeling of sickness, Agda whimpered in discomfort.

"You shouldn't move", the Dragonborn said when confronted with Agda's pained expression. His tone was firm and gentle at the same time. "I'm not an expert, but I believe you collapsed because of exhaustion. Also, you've drunk too many magicka potions and had an allergic reaction to them - at least, that's what that reddish rash around your neck suggests. On top of that, your old scars have resumed bleeding".

Frowning in worry, Agda tried to touch the rash Steinarius had just mentioned. To her great shock, moving her arms caused another painful shiver to run through her whole body. When he noticed her distress, Steinarius was quick to lay a hand on her shoulder and comfort her.

"Let me take care of you, Agda", he told the young mage. "I promise I'll do a good job".

Without waiting for a reply, the Imperial moved towards the end of Agda's bed, then began tugging on her left boot. When the girl gave him an outraged look, Steinarius explained what he had on his mind.

"I may be an adventurer, but I'm an Imperial at heart - and that's why I believe clean sheets to be incredibly important while venturing into ancient ruins", he said with a surprisingly stern tone. "That's why I'm cleaning you up: your current clothes are damp and dirty, so I want to help you out of them before I tuck you into bed. Also, you'll feel much better once we put you in one of my warm and dry woolen shirts".

As he spoke, Steinarius never stopped working the laces on Agda's boots. When he succeeded in taking the shoes off, Agda realized she was very grateful for that: she was too weak to shed her boots herself and her feet were hurting because of all the miles she'd faced over the previous hours.

"You forgot the first rule for adventuring", Steinarius said after noticing the many blisters on the girl's feet. "Wear comfortable shoes".

Agda frowned at that comment: she had been forced to borrow those boots from Nightcaller Temple, so it was obvious that they weren't a perfect fit. Upon noticing her irritation, however, Steinarius was quick to soften his tone.

"I didn't mean to tell you off, Agda: I often forget that rule too", the Imperial said before the girl could express her thoughts on the matter. "That's why I often carry a soothing balm in my knapsack".

Agda was surprised by those words, and she was even more surprised when Steinarius started taking care of her blisters by applying a weird greenish paste to each and everyone of them.

"I can do that myself", Agda sheepishly protested. To the young mage Steinarius' behavior was embarrassing and confusing at the same time: it was the first time he helped her with such intimate problems and, considering the many arguments she and the Imperial had had over the previous hours, Agda couldn't understand why he was being so nice to her.

"You ran away from Dawnstar without telling anyone, didn't you?", the Dragonborn asked out of the blue, thus snapping Agda out of her thoughts. When he realized that she was about to get irritated again, Steinarius immediately clarified the reason behind his question. "I'm asking this just because your scars still haven't healed - and if Erandur allowed you to leave his temple despite that problem, I'll make sure to pay him a visit and tell him how irresponsible he was".

Agda didn't say anything, but the guilty look in her eyes allowed Steinarius to understand the truth.

"Just like I thought", he said, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "I may be stubborn, but you're far more obstinate than me, Agda".

While speaking, Steinarius stood up and and grabbed some bandages. A moment later he returned to Agda's bed and laid a gentle hand on her knee.

"I'm afraid your trousers need to come off too", he said, thus changing the topic of conversation. "As I already told you, dry clothes will make you feel much better".

Agda blushed at that, but nonetheless allowed Steinarius to replace her mud-soaked trousers with a pair of comfortable baggy breeches. When the man pointed at her undershirt, however, the young mage was overcome by uneasiness.

"I've already taken off your mage robes, but I didn't feel like releasing you from your undershirt without your consent", Steinarius explained. The Imperial seemed rather embarrassed too. "Unfortunately, the bandages on your back and your chest are soaked in blood, so we need to change them. Also, I'd like to check whether your rash has reached other parts of your body besides your neck".

There was a long moment of silence during which Agda couldn't find the strength to look Steinarius in the eyes. Her former lover was planning to undress her as though she were a baby and, as predictable, that awareness was enough to make her feel the urge to escape Labyrinthian altogether; yet, the young mage told herself that Steinarius was simply doing what had to be done - her clothes were damp and dirty, whereas the bandages beneath them were soaked in blood; as a consequence, changing them would only do her good. Unfortunately, those rational thoughts could do nothing to easen Agda's embarrassement.

"Those robes won't come off of their own", Steinarius said when he noticed that Agda was seemingly thinking of something else. A moment later his grey eyes found the mage's, whereas his hands went to her hips. "Yet, if this makes you uncomfortable..."

Agda was surprised by the way Steinarius had sensed her uneasiness; unfortunately, when the man trailed off, she understood that she had no way out of that situation. Unfortunately, that realization caused a few tears to fill her eyes.

Over the previous few days Agda hadn't had any time to think about the way Ancano had tortured her; yet, now that Steinarius was about to help her shed her undershirt, she suddenly became very self-conscious. The Imperial had seen her naked when they were together, of course he had, but over the previous few weeks Agda's body had been permanently altered - and whereas her legs had luckily escaped Ancano's wrath, her torso definitely hadn't. Agda didn't know whether Steinarius had helped Erandur treating the wounds on her chest while she was unconscious, but one thing she knew: the simple thought of having him see those scars while she was awake appalled her to no end. She wanted Steinarius to remember her because of her smooth and soft skin, not because of the horrible motifs Ancano had engraved in her flesh!

To Agda' surprise, the Dragonborn immediately noticed that something was off - and when he did, he leant towards her and clumsily laid a hand on her cheek.

"Are you in pain?"

Agda scoffed at that. Of course she was in pain - but most of all, right then she was terribly embarrassed.

"I don't want you to see me", she eventually admitted while fighting back the tears. "It... it makes me uncomfortable".

"I suppose you're wearing bandages under your shirt", Steinarius calmly replied while brushing his thumb against Agda's cheekbone. The girl's answer hadn't surprised him in the slightest. "As a consequence, I won't see you bare; and then, it's nothing I haven't seen before".

The Imperial gently smiled, but his words only managed to worsen Agda's mood. When she heard them, the girl namely recalled the many moments she and the Dragonborn had spent together in Riverwood - and along with that, she remembered Steinarius' surprised tone after one of their first nights together.

 _I adore your skin_ , the man had said after they'd made love in Agda's dimly lit bedroom. _It's smooth and soft, whereas warriors are usually full of scars and bruises. That's why I prefer you to them_.

Agda had reacted to those words by raising an eyebrow.

 _You like me better than your fellow warriors just because of my skin?_

Steinarius had laughed at that, then he'd pinched the tip of the girl's nose.

 _Of course I do_ , he'd jokingly lied. _I thought it was obvious that I like you just because of your skin. I hate to admit it, but your sweetness and your kindness and your wonderful brown eyes get the second place_.

At the time Agda hadn't given much value to that conversation, which had been ended by a jokeful shove on her part; yet, now that her skin had been scarred once and for all, Steinarius' words had been playing in her ears more times than she could count.

"My chest is nothing like it was before", the mage faintly murmured after a long moment of silence. "Ancano scarred me, he whipped me, he..."

When Agda trailed off and looked away, Steinarius could only murmur her name and caress her once more. There was another long moment of silence, then the Imperial eventually came up with a plan.

"Let's do it this way", he slowly said, his eyes fixed on the Agda's troubled expression. "I'll help you sit up, then I'll remove the clips that keep your bandages in place; after that I will stay behind you while you position the new bandages on your chest. In that way I can help you wrap those things around your torso, but I won't see anything you don't want me to see".

Agda pondered the plan for a second, then wearily nodded - sadly for her, she could see no other way out of that situation.

The young mage whimpered in pain when Steinarius helped her sit up, but nonetheless managed to fulfill her task. Agda was very surprised by the sweetness Steinarius put in assisting her with that delicate procedure - and she was even more surprised when, after he'd helped her wrap the clean bandages around her torso, the man covered her with one of his warm woolen shirts and used a soothing balm to lessen the pain coming from her wounds. Yet, despite that kindness - or maybe right because of that kindness - Agda suddenly felt on the verge of tears.

Sadly enough, Steinarius' ministrations had succeeded in reminding her of everything she'd suffered at the hands of Ancano.

* * *

Steinarius had tried to keep Agda' spirits up while helping her with her bandages - he'd made a few jokes, he'd caressed her spine, he'd distorted her gaze from her torso whenever he could. Yet, when he turned to look at her after putting his soothing balm back in his knapsack, the Imperial immediately realized that something was wrong.

"Agds", he tenderly said when he noticed the tears in the girl's eyes. Steinarius didn't need to ask her why she was crying: he knew what Agda had been through, he knew that Ancano had used her while she was unconscious, he knew how bad her new scars were - and as predictable, the fact of getting undressed in front of his former lover had caused the poor girl to remember everything that nasty Thalmor had done to her.

Agda tried to pull away when Steinarius sat down beside her and gently caressed her cheek; yet, when the man carefully tucked her in and covered her with a clean blanket he'd just retrieved from his knapsack, she finally allowed him to comfort her by leaning into that contact. Steinarius caressed Agda until she seemed to feel better, then he slowly got up from his place on her bed.

"We need to rest now, little one", he gently told her. "If you feel bad during the night, call me immediately, okay? And don't cast any spell, not even a magelight one: you're too tired for that".

Agda frowned at those words and immediately asked Steinarius where he was going.

"I'll lay my bedroll in the corner of the room", the man explained her. "In that way you'll have the whole bed to yourself. Don't worry, however: I'll hear you immediately if you call my name. Also, I've placed a trap right behind the door to our room, so we don't have to worry about enemies sneaking in while we're asleep".

Agda frowned when Steinarius mentioned the enemies that still lurked in Labyrinthian; at the same time, she realized she'd feel much safer with the man by her side.

"This bed is big enough for the two of us", she murmured while blushing in embarrassement.

There was a long moment of silence during which Steinarius' eyes filled with doubt and indecision. Although Agda didn't know it, Frida had told him everything about the way Ancano had used her after torturing her; as a consequence, the man didn't know whether sleeping in the same bed as the young mage was actually a good idea.

Despite those thoughts, all of Steinarius' doubts disappeared as soon as Agda softly called his name. The man had been really worried when the mage had lost consciousness and was now keen to do everything he could to make that poor girl feel safe and protected - and that obviously included sharing a mattress with her.

* * *

When Steinarius shed his shirt and laid down next to her, Agda wondered whether asking him to sleep with her had actually been a good idea. At first the mage felt rather unease at having her former lover by her side; yet, when she realized that the Imperial' skin was warming her although they weren't close, Agda understood that, all in all, sharing her mattress with Steinarius wasn't that bad.

As the Dragonborn tossed and turned in order to find a comfortable position, Agda took a good look at him. The man was wearing only his breeches, so that she could get a glimpse of the many newly formed scars that adorned his chest; at the same time the young mage could see that the Imperial had a black eye, a few bloody cuts on his cheeks and a nasty bruise on his temple; but most of all, Agda noticed that Steinarius' grey eyes were full of tiredness.

When her body was shaken by a sudden shiver, the young mage let out a pained whimper. Before she could even realize it, Steinarius sat upright and cast her a very worried look.

"Are you cold? I can get you another blanket if you want".

Agda turned down the man's offer by simply shaking her head. A moment later, however, another shiver had her voice a request she would have never uttered under any other circumstances.

"The scars on my back hurt", she meekly murmured. "Would it... Would it be a problem if I slept on my side?"

At first, Steinarius seemed surprised by that question, as he couldn't understand why Agda was asking for his opinion about that topic. Yet, when he realized what the girl really meant, the Imperial was quick to give his consent. Steinarius knew how much Agda loved sleeping with her head on his chest - and despite his injured shoulder, he didn't feel like depriving her of that little luxury.

"Come here", the Dragonborn told the young mage after helping her on her right side. "You'll be warmer if we stay closer".

Agda nodded, then she carefully approached Steinarius. The man allowed one of his arms to sneak under her neck and around her left elbow, all while keeping his injured shoulder perfectly still.

"I may be sick, but you don't look too good yourself", Agda faintly said when she realized the attention Steinarius paid to his sore arm. "I bet that if you weren't a werewolf, you'd be feeling much worse than me".

Steinarius let that slight critic go - after all, at that moment he didn't feel like discussing the perks of his beast blood.

"You could reply to me, you know", Agda told him at that point. "Perhaps I'll find out why you're being this kind to me".

 _Here we go again,_ Steinarius wearily sighed. Now that she was feeling better, Agda seemed determined to question his behavior, his choices and his personality once again - and to the Dragonborn, that thought was rather depressing.

"Agds, I know you have a few reasons to be angry at me, but this adventure of ours is not a competition - it's a mission to save Winterhold", Steinarius said after thinking his reply through. "Unfortunately, this afternoon we forgot about that and behaved like two stupid brats for the whole time. I've been an asshole to you for quite a while, fine, but today you've behaved as an asshole too: you pretended you were fine, you didn't stop when I suggested you to, you even gave me a few nasty replies when I actually didn't deserve them".

Agda made to protest, but Steinarius stopped her with a gesture. The woman looked irritated by his words, but the Imperial couldn't care less - right then, he just needed to get a very heavy weight off his chest.

"I know what you're about to say and I'll admit I was an even bigger asshole than you, Agds", he announced before the girl could speak her mind on the matter. "I namely knew that you were very tired, yet I kept going because I wanted to show you that I was a better adventurer than you. Now, however, I'd be very relieved if we could call a truce and stop fighting for some time. I don't know how you feel about this, but I honestly can't go on arguing with you for the rest of my life".

"Yet you didn't have any problem being mean to me this afternoon", Agda readily replied. "You even asked me whether I got these new scars because they were fashionable".

Steinarius cringed at that, but did his best to keep his emotions in check. The Dragonborn didn't want him and Agda to argue again - quite on the contrary, he wished he and the young Nord could finally stop bickering.

"And you called me a monster, Agds", Steinarius said as soon as the mage stopped talking. "Yet, that doesn't matter now. As I already said, we were very childish this afternoon - and I was worse than you, I admit it. If we want to survive this place, however, we need to change our attitude and start working together to defeat our enemies. If we keep fighting against each other, we'll end up dead in less than a day".

There was a moment of silence during which Agda's hand slowly traced a line across Steinarious' bare chest. Until then the girl had been perfectly still.

"Until a few hours ago you wanted me to leave this place and head back to Winterhold", the mage whispered after pondering Steinarius' words at length. "Now instead you want me to cooperate with you. Why have you changed your mind?"

Steinarius heavily sighed at those words, then he took Agda's hand in his. The time had come to bare his soul to that young mage.

"The last time I went adventuring in Solstheim, I almost risked to die", the Imperial explained while intertwining his fingers with Agda's and looking straight into her deep brown eyes. "After a week I came back to Skyrim only to discover that someone had tortured you; a few days later, Adaeze almost died on me while we were on a quest together; now instead I have to see you suffering once again. I think there's only so much a man can take before losing his mind or jumping off a cliff - and I'd say that for this month I've had my fair amount of sufferance".

"I still don't get it", Agda replied while shaking her head. "We broke up ages ago, Stein, and you also told me that this afternoon I gave you a few replies you didn't deserve. Why are you helping me then? This is my fight, not yours! You don't even have any friend in Winterhold!"

"This is not my fight, it's true, but I can't stand back and watch while the Thalmor destroy a city", Steinarius replied. "That's why I'm helping you. Also, right now I'm taking care of you because it was my fault if you fainted: I wanted to stop because I was tired, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to get sassier than you already were. Unfortunately, weariness had me falling in that pit - and hadn't you been there to aid me, I would have likely died. I was a fool, Agda, and I'm sorry you had to pay for that".

"We were two fools", Agda weakly murmured when confronted with those words. After listening to them, the mage realized that she wasn't talking to the arrogant warrior who'd once wished her brother to die - quite on the contrary, she was speaking to a common man with a very heavy burden on his shoulders. "You had your faults, Stein, but I should have been less reckless while venturing into this place", she later admitted.

"As you said, we were two fools", Steinarius smiled in reply. "Let's try and be more careful now, alright?"

Agda nodded at that, then she felt Steinarius give a gentle squeeze to her hand. From her position the young mage could feel the warmth of the man's body, his steady heartbeat, the soft paths he was tracing on her arm with the tip of his fingers. Thanks to those sensations, for a brief moment the young Nord was able to forget her pain.

"I didn't mean to call you a monster", she said out of the blue after enjoying Steinarius' ministrations for a while. "I was simply angry".

"I know that you didn't mean it", the Imperial replied with a little smile. His expression however immediately turned stern. "As for me, I never meant to hurt you, Agds - I didn't mean to hurt you this afternoon, I didn't mean to hurt you that day in Dawnstar, I didn't mean to hurt you when we broke up in Riverwood. I just seem unable to get on with the people I truly care about".

Agda watched in confusion as Steinarius ran a hand across his face. Right then the Imperial was pale and looked surprisingly frail.

"By the way, you were right calling me a monster", the Dragonborn continued, thus elaborating his words from earlier. "I've noticed I'm getting snappier and snappier as the days go by - and from what the Greybeards have told me, it could be because of my dragon blood. Unfortunately, the more souls I absorb, the more I end up thinking like an ancient, powerful and extremely unkind dragon - and if you add my inner wolf to the mix, you'll understand why I often behave like a heartless jerk".

"That isn't the only reason, though", Agda pointed out. "I'm afraid your personality has something to do with it too".

Steinarius welcomed the girl's remark with a nod.

"You're perfectly right, Agds. I was always rather blunt and indelicate, so I would lie if I blamed my dragon blood for all my problems; yet, my powers do make it easier for me to lose control. Unfortunately, I seem to have a defensive mechanism that causes me to get angry at the people who care for me, as I don't consider them a threat because of their kindness and their support. When I'm with an enemy or someone who isn't that friendly, I'm much more careful with words".

As she pondered that discovery, Agda remained silent for a while: after all that time, she finally had an explanation for Steinarius' rudeness.

Mistaking the girl's thoughtful expression for tiredness, the Dragonborn closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep. When Agda talked, however, he was quick to reopen them and look at her.

"Do you think we'll manage to save Winterhold? Or am I just causing you to lose time?"

Steinarius was moved by the worry in Agda's voice - and he was even more moved when he noticed that her eyes were once again full of tears.

"I need to rest too, Agds, so you don't have to worry because of this little break", he reassured her. "Also, I'm sure you'll feel better soon - I have my fair experience with collapses and exhaustion and believe me, they'll stop bothering you very quickly".

Agda nodded at that, but Steinarius could feel that she was thinking of something else.

"Have you ever been tortured?"

The question striked him as strange, but Steinarius immediately realized how important the answer was for the girl who was resting beside him.

"No, Agda", he admitted. "Luckily for me, I have never been tortured".

"And have you ever tortured anyone?"

"You're asking that because I'm a former Imperial soldier, aren't you?"

Agda nodded, causing a sharp feeling of nausea to run through Steinarius' body - the Legion was formed by honorable men and women, but the Emperor's alliance with the Thalmor greatly damaged the public image of its loyal soldiers.

"I've never tortured anyone", the Dragonborn said after a brief moment of hesitation. "At first my superiors wanted to train me for it, but then they understood that there was no point in it: weird as it may sound, I'm not a violent man and I couldn't bring myself to hurt powerless people". Steinarius saw Agda relax at the news, but he nonetheless felt the urge to tell her the whole truth.

"Sometimes, however, I did have to deal with important prisoners who needed to be questioned. On those occasions I would send them to the Thalmor Embassy, where some specialized officers took care of interrogating them. Only now do I realize that it would have been much more merciful of me to torture them myself".

"It certainly would have", Agda confirmed. Steinarius noticed that the girl had tensed up once again.

"It's not something I'm proud of", he faintly murmured in reply.

There was a long moment of silence during which Agda shivered uncontrollably for a few times. Feeling sorry for what he'd just told her, Steinarius tightened his grip on her.

"I wanted you to know the truth", he whispered, his voice thick with guilt and regret. "I didn't feel like lying about this - not to you, at least".

Agda nodded, then she reached for Steinarius' hand and squeezed it again. When she murmured a faint _thank you_ , the man pressed a light kiss on her temple.

"Whenever you feel like talking about what that Thalmor did to you, just know I'm here", the Imperial murmured when Agda whimpered in reply to his displays of affection. "I'll always be there for you, you hear me? And when we finally face that bastard, I'll make sure he gets what he deserves".

Agda didn't say or do anything in reply to those words, a fact that Steinarius didn't know how to explain. Yet, when the girl fell asleep in his arms, the Imperial immediately felt reassured: despite his confession, Agda seemingly wasn't angry at him.

As the young mage began snoring softly beside him, Steinarius tucked her hair behind her ears and laid a gentle kiss on her scarred forehead. The Imperial had been very saddened by the way Agda had almost burst into tears when he'd made to shed her shirt; moreover, he'd felt sorry for the problems her new scars were causing her. At the same time, however, during that long evening Steinarius had realized that Agda was much stronger than he thought - actually, that little mage was probably much stronger than him. Spurred by that thought, the Dragonborn finally understood that Agda had turned into a wonderful warrior with a will of ebony - and if the Thalmor thought they could break her, they were clearly in for a nasty surprise.


	51. To kill a dragon priest

**Author's note:**

 **With a short delay on my usual schedule (which is entirely to blame on a very popular game called _Dragon Age: Origins_ ), here I am with a new update. First of all, however, I want to thank all my readers and followers and reviewers: you really are the best! **

**As for the reviews, I must say that I was very happy to see that everyone welcomed Steinarius and Agda's newly found peace with enthusiasm - and hopefully this chapter will live up to your expectations. Anyway, on to the individual replies:**

 **As for KSausage's questions, I must admit that I never thought about how beds could actually survive in ancient ruins. It would be interesting to find an explanation - and since we're at it, I'd like to know how the Dragonborn can eat apples inside old Nordic tombs and live to tell the tale. Shouldn't they be rotten after all those centuries spent in a barrel?**

 **As for Maz1x's comment, I'm really happy to see that you enjoyed the previous chapter. Also, I was very amused at how you scared your colleague. Speaking of which: your reviews often have _me_ squeal like a little girl while I'm at work - luckily enough I don't share my office with anyone.**

 **Among the many people who reviewed instalment 50, I do have to thank MeanE for their very suggestive and amusing image. I actually wanted Stein to tell Agda something along the line of "We should stop checking which of us has a longer ****", but I eventually decided to avoid that because I didn't know whether a sentence like that would make sense in English. Well, now I know it does!**

 **As for Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim, I really do thank you for your kind words. Steinarius and Agda still have feelings for each other, but they need to work them out - in the meanwhile, sweetness without kisses is assured ;)**

 **Last but not least, a great _thank you_ goes to Valtieri for their interesting question. In my head-canon Steinarius is 27, whereas Agda is 24 (23 at the beginning of the story). Now I'm curious, though: did you and the other readers believe them tobe younger or older? **

**While I wait for the eventual replies to my question, here I present you with a new chapter. In this instalment I tried to balance a little bit of action and a little bit of dialogue - and hopefully the mixture will be interesting.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **21st of Hearthfire, 4 E 202**

Agda woke to an inviting aroma filling the chamber where she was sleeping. For a moment the mage frowned in confusion: if her memory wasn't failing her, she'd fallen asleep in Labyrinthian; but if her memory wasn't failing her, then why was she surrounded by the smell of venison soup?

Spurred by that question, the young woman opened her eyes and sat up on her bed. That movement caused her to feel a light wave of dizziness, but it didn't cost her any effort. Pleased by that fact, Agda examined the room where she was staying in order to discover what was going on. It didn't take her long to see that Steinarius was crouching near a little fire - and it didn't take her long to realize that the man was already up and running.

"Good morning", the Imperial said with one of his crooked smiles. Agda was pleased to notice that the bandages around his shoulder were perfectly clean, whereas his grey eyes had regained some of their natural calmness. "My arm is perfectly fine", Steinarius said as though he'd just read Agda's mind. "And if my werewolf senses are right, you are fine too: your heart is beating normally and you don't smell like blood anymore".

Agda blushed when the Imperial mentioned his uncommon powers - even after all that time, she found it creepy to know that he could hear every single beat of her heart.

"So yesterday you knew I was lying", the girl said when she realized the implication hidden in Steinarius' words. "Your werewolf senses allowed you to know that I was feverish, yet you..."

Steinarius stopped Agda with a gesture.

"I thought we'd agreed to leave the past behind", he said. The man was smiling, but his expression was somewhat stern at the same time.

Urged by those words, Agda made an effort to recall the events from the previous night. The mage recalled the embarrassement she'd felt when Steinarius had helped her out of her undershirt, the way she'd fallen asleep on the man's chest, the way he'd stroked her hair after she'd woken up in the middle of the night in order to drink some water. But most of all, the young mage remembered the calm conversation she and Steinarius had had. Yes, Agda thought: after that night, she'd definitely left her past misunderstandings with the Dragonborn behind.

"You are right", the girl admitted with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry for bringing that up again. Let's leave the past behind and try to behave like normal people, shall we?"

After saying those words, Agda stood up from her bed. Her bare feet immediately came in contact with the cold pavement of the chamber, but the young mage didn't feel bothered at all: Steinarius' shirt and her Nord blood were namely enough to keep her warm.

"You do look quite relaxed", Agda pointed out after approaching the Dragonborn. Steinarius' expression was namely much calmer and satisfied than usual.

"I _am_ relaxed", the Imperial admitted. "Actually, I'm euphorical too".

Agda raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Why would that be?"

"I'm euphorical for a very simple couple of reason, Agda. First, this is the day we retrieve the Staff of Magnus and slay Ancano. Second, we've finally agreed to start behaving like adults. Actually, this morning I feel so adultish that I even cooked us breakfast".

Only then did Agda notice that the pleasant aroma she'd smelled a few minutes earlier came from the soup Steinarius was cooking. At the same time, the girl realized that the Imperial's right hand was covered by a bandage.

"I burnt a finger while trying to light a fire", Steinarius admitted when confronted with Agda's questioning gaze. "I normally use a Shout to do that, but I didn't want to wake you".

Agda was moved by that little display of tenderness; at the same time, however, she noticed that the small room where she was staying was slowly getting overrun by smoke. As the minutes went by, it even became difficult to breathe, a fact that caused Steinarius to cough violently more than once.

"Shouldn't we open the door?", Agda asked when the Imperial was shaken by another violent fit. "This room is quite small and has no windows at all. I think that's why you're coughing: the fire is producing too much smoke".

Steinarius' eyes widened in surprise.

"I hadn't thought of that", he admitted with a very surprised tone. "I'll open the door immediately, so that the smoke will stop bothering me. Geez, I almost cannot breathe!"

When Steinarius made to open the door, however, Agda had to stop him by grabbing his elbow: had she not been there, the Imperial would have ended up head first into the nasty trap he himself had set on the previous evening.

"I hadn't thought of that either", the Imperial confessed when Agda explained him why she'd stopped him so abruptly.

Confronted with that reply, the young mage deadpanned.

She had no idea how a clumsy man like Steinarius had survived that long on his own.

* * *

Breakfast went by calmly - and she began eating her soup, Agda had to admit that Steinarius was a far better cook than she'd ever thought.

"I needed to get some weight off my knapsack, that's why I cooked", the Dragonborn shrugged when the girl expressed her surprise. "And then, I would make lunch quite often back when Vigdis was ill. Don't get used to that, though: I've forgotten most of the recipes I learnt, so my skills have got much worse over the last few years".

Agda frowned when Steinarius mentioned Vigdis, a fact she herself didn't know how to explain. When the man asked her whether she was fine, the young mage nonetheless nodded. At the same time, she wondered whether she should tell the Imperial about her meeting with Farkas and Vilkas, the two wolf twins who had helped her reach Winterhold.

"You know, I met some Companions the other day", Agda said after making up her mind. She would have liked to tell Steinarius about the weird behavior of the two twins, but first she wanted to know what the man thought of them. "They're two brothers".

"Vilkas and Farkas", Steinarius immediately said. His expression had turned stern as soon as Agda had mentioned the Companions. "Is there a reason why you're telling me about this?"

Confused by the frown Steinarius was wearing, Agda stalled for a moment.

"Not really", she eventually replied. "I just... I just thought you'd be glad to hear it".

Steinarius sighed, then he slowly ran a hand through his blonde hair, just like he did whenever he was facing an unpleasant conversation.

"The day my son died, I punched Vilkas in the face", the Imperial said with a grimace. "A few seconds later, I called his brother an idiot. They were my best friends, but I'm afraid they no longer care for me - and neither do I for them".

Surprisingly enough, those words caused a sudden flow of images to run through Agda's mind. The girl saw a starless sky above her, a patch of blood-stained snow below her, a huge black werewolf fighting for dear life against a pack of frost trolls. A moment later, the vision was over.

"Are you okay?"

When she reopened her eyes, Agda was confronted with Steinarius' worried gaze.

"I'm... I'm fine", she lied while trying to steady her voice. "It's just... I think we should get moving. We don't have any time to lose, do we? Oh, and thank you for the soup. It was delicious"

Steinarius watched in confusion as Agda finished her breakfast and grabbed her knapsack. He couldn't know that, although the girl had made peace with him, the other ghosts from her past were still bothering her with their presence.

* * *

Now that she and Steinarius had decided to behave like grown-ups, for Agda venturing through Labyrinthian was much more pleasant. The girl had brewed a few useful potions before leaving the room where she'd slept, then she'd changed the bandages the Imperial had sloppily wrapped around his shoulder. After slipping into their armors, Agda and the Dragonborn had finally resumed their search for the Staff of Magnus. At first Steinarius didn't want the girl to cast any spell, but he changed his mind after Agda dispatched a very menacing draugr with just one fireball. From then on the Imperial agreed to fight side by side with the young mage - and unfortunately for the evil creatures that dwelled in Labyrinthian, that choice proved to be very succesful.

Ever since he'd left the Companions, Steinarius had never enjoyed venturing through ancient ruins with other people. Having a follower meant that enemies were easier to kill, sure, but it also meant that Steinarius had to pay a lot of attention to the trajectory of his Shouts and to the violence he usually put in his attacks. With Agda, however, the Dragonborn had no worries of that sort. He and the young mage namely created a very efficient strategy that allowed them to save energy and to kill a very high number of enemies at once: they would hide in a safe place, then Agda would cast a spell to detect how many adversaries they were about to approach. The mage later proceeded to summon a powerful Atronach and create a deadly path of fire runes, whereas Steinarius used a complex system of gestures to tell her what he had in mind. After that, the Atronach usually lured the enemies towards the traps Agda had set - and once his opponents were close enough for the young mage to use her spells, Steinarius would charge in too. Trapped between Agda's magic, the Atronach's fireballs and Steinarius' sword, none of the creatures who dwelled in Labyrinthian could survive - at least, that was until the two uncommon allies reached the last chamber of the ancient city of Bromjunaar.

* * *

Agda was pleasantly surprised by Steinarius' renewed trust in her. The man namely asked her for advice whenever they were in a difficult situation, he often followed her suggestions, he even backed down when the girl claimed she could kill their enemies on her own. On top of that, Steinarius was unbelievably chivalrous: he would offer Agda food and water every time she looked tired, he would wait for her despite his desire to return to Winterhold as soon as possible, he even volunteered to carry her bridal-style when they were forced to walk through a little stream of water. Agda was surprised by that change - and she was even more surprised when Steinarius admitted that, all in all, fighting with her wasn't that bad.

"It's the first time I have a good time fighting with a mage", the Dragonborn confessed when he and the girl stopped for a brief pause. "That's why I actually didn't want you to do the fighting the other day: the only time I hired a mage to travel with me, I almost killed him with my bare hands".

"Did he hurt you with a spell?", Agda asked. Steinarius' confession hadn't surprised her at all. "Unfortunately, it happens even to the best of us".

The Imperial shook his head.

"Actually, Marcurio and I didn't have any problem while fighting. He's arrogant and self-important, sure, but we made our way through a bandit camp without too many problems. Yet, right when I was thinking of recruiting that weird Imperial for the Blades, we came across a stray dog - and that's when that stupid sellsword revealed himself for what he truly is: a heartless jerk with the brains of a skeever".

Agda was surprised by the anger in Steinarius' voice: she knew that a man named Marcurio worked as a sellsword in Riften, but she'd never heard anyone say such bad things about him.

"I happen to like animals", Steinarius said when confronted with Agda's questioning gaze. The girl already knew about that: after a night of heavy drinking back in Riverwood, the Dragonborn had even admitted that his biggest dream consisted in buying a horse farm and becoming an accomplished breeder. "That's why, when I met that stray dog, I immediately took a liking to him. After I gave him some food, that tiny animal started following me around. I was already thinking of adopting him when we suddenly came across a bear - and in the heat of the fight, the dog accidentally bit Marcurio's calf. Before I could even realize it, that jerk had chucked a fireball at my new friend, who had been turned into ash by that spell. That's when I decided I would no longer fight with a mage; also, after Barkey's gruesome death I decided that one day I'll go to Markarth and buy myself a dog. Oh, on a side note, that was also the first time I shouted someone off their feet in cold blood".

Agda was saddened by the unexpected ending of Steinarius' tale; yet, the regret in the Dragonborn's voice somehow managed to amuse her.

"I didn't know you loved dogs so much. Now I know what I can buy you for your namesday", the young mage joked. "Also, I didn't know you were so sensitive about animals".

"No one is perfect", Steinarius shrugged. From his expression, Agda could see that the fate of that unfortunate stray dog still bothered him greatly.

"What happened to Marcurio?"

"He lost consciousness when I Fusrodahded him, then I left him to rot in the woods around Riften. I don't know what's been of him, but I sincerely hope he came across a heartless mage like him".

Agda was surprised by the resentment in Steinarius' words and she was even more surprised by his rage. When a booming voice caused her to lose balance, however, the girl immediately forgot about Marcurio and poor Barkey.

" ** _Come: face your end_** ", that mysterious voice said.

When Steinarius grabbed her by the elbow and helped her stay upright, Agda realized that all of her magicka had been mysteriously drained by the enemy who wielded that powerful voice as a weapon. A moment later, she and the Imperial came across the huge door that led into the last chamber of Labyrinthian.

It was time for Agda and Steinarius to put their newly found alliance to test.

* * *

As she and Steinarius walked inside the last chamber of Labyrinthian, Agda couldn't stifle a surprised gasp. The girl had never witnessed anything like that: that huge room was namely one of the biggest indorr places she'd ever seen. There were many flights of stairs, a cobbled road leading to what looked like bridges made of stone, there were even a few tall waterfalls; but most of all, Agda noticed, that chamber hosted two ghostly wizards who were keeping a mysterious creature trapped inside a globe of magical light.

"For Shor's beard!", Steinarius murmured from a point above the girl' shoulder. Right then Agda realized that that sight was even weirder than it looked.

"The final chambers of Nordic ruins usually aren't like this", Steinarius explained when confronted with the mage's confused gaze. "They're creepy and huge, sure, but normally they don't feature a dragon priest trapped by two mage thralls".

Only then did Agda realize who the ghostly figures in front of her eyes were. During her adventure the girl had often come across visions that showed her the development of Savos Aren's crazy mission throughout Labyrinthian - and now the young Nord knew what had become of the last two mages from that expedition.

"Aren left his fellows behind in order to seal that dragon priest away", Agda said in shock. "He doomed them to this horrible fate just so that he could make it out of here alive. It's..."

"Horrible, I know". Beside Agda, Steinarius looked rather horrified too. "By the way, their sufferance is now over: I think we'll have to defeat those mages to free that dragon priest from its trap".

Agda barely registered those words: she'd always considered Savos Aren a honorable and wise mage that could offer her guidance and knowledge, therefore she was shocked to discover that he had condemned two of his friends to that horrible destiny just in order to escape Labyrinthian and the wrath of its inhabitants. Luckily enough, Steinarius was quick to bring the girl back to reality.

"Agds, I know that you're probably shocked, but we need to act fast if we want to make it out of here alive", he said. His grey eyes were fixed on the globe of magic light containing the trapped dragon priest. "The Staff of Magnus is in the hands of that creature - Morokei, if my memory doesn't fail me. We'll have to kill him if we want to get that weapon - and if we want to kill Morokei, we'll probably have to release him first".

Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine: releasing Morokei from his trap seemed like the worst thing anyone in her situation could do.

"I don't know how to kill a dragon priest", the young mage admitted. By then she was almost trembling with fear and anxiety.

"Luckily for you, I do", Steinarius said. While speaking, the man laid a reassuring hand on Agda' shoulder. "If you follow my plan, I promise you'll make it out of here unscathed".

For a moment Agda felt the urge to differ. When she mirrored herself in Steinarius' placid grey eyes, however, an unexpected feeling of calmness slowly washed over. That man was meant to slay Alduin and had already defeated a few dragon priests - and with him by her side, Agda felt like she had good chances to succeed in her mission.

* * *

Over the course of the previous hours Agda had had many occasions to see Steinarius fight; yet, nothing had prepared her for the change the man underwent after coming across Morokei. All of a sudden the clumsy Imperial Agda knew disappeared, leaving a frightening and determined warrior in his wake. When confronted with the hardened gaze of this new Steinarius, Agda almost trembled in fear.

"I've analyzed the chamber carefully and I think I've come up with a plan", the Imperial said after walking through that big room for a few minutes. His steps were surprisingly light, whereas his expression was deadly serious. "I'll need your help, though".

Agda was surprised when Steinarius asked her for assistance. The girl briefly entertained the thought of leaving the man alone in the upcoming fight, but she soon realized that she'd gone too far to back down: after everything she'd said about her new skills, it was high time she showed Steinarius how good she actually was.

"We'll do it this way", the Dragonborn slowly explained when Agda finally offered him her help. "I'll walk up to Morokei and try to hurt him with my sword. If it works, fine - otherwise, you'll take care of the thralls who are keeping him trapped in that globe of light. You'll kill both of them, then I'll deal with the dragon priest. Alright?"

Agda nodded, then listened carefully as Steinarius advised her on how to take advantage from the room where the battle against Morokei was about to take place.

"And Agda, one last thing: if I tell you to do something, do it without protests", the Dragonborn said once his explanations were over. "And if I tell you to run, go for the exit of these ruins as fast you can: dragon priests are powerful, but they're not very quick".

As soon as she listened those words, Agda frowned.

"Stein, if you think that I'll leave you behind, you're..."

"I'm mistaken, I know", the Imperial sternly replied. "Yet, I'd be very happy if for once in your life you could follow my suggestions".

There was a moment of tense silence, then Steinarius sighed.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I promise I won't criticize you again. You can't blame me for trying to keep you safe, though".

Agda scoffed, then cast a glance towards Morokei. The sight of that trapped creature reminded her of the risk she was about to run and caused a sudden rush of nausea to run through her body. As though he could sense her uneasiness, Steinarius took advantage of that moment to tilt Agda's chin towards him and look her right in the eyes. The girl knew that she was wearing a very worried expression and was rather surprised when she was confronted with the Imperial's calm gaze.

"Everything will be fine", Steinarius told her at that point. "I have defeated Miraak, I'll take care of Morokei too".

Although she had no idea who Miraak was, Agda faintly nodded. When he noticed that she was trying to be brave, Steinarius smiled and gently pinched the tip of her nose, just like he'd often do when they were two simple friends back in Riverwood. A moment later, the Imperial and Agda parted ways and went to take up their fighting positions. As he looked at his companion, the Dragonborn sighed: he deeply hoped he could get that little mage out of that situation unscathed.

* * *

As she positioned herself behind one the ghostly thralls, Agda felt her own heart beat madly in her chest. She knew that Steinarius could hear it too and for a moment that awareness made her unease. Yet, when her eyes met the Imperial's grey irises, the young Nord suddenly felt relieved: she had the most powerful warrior of Tamriel by her side and was ready to face the biggest challenge of her career as a battle mage - and, to say the truth, right then she couldn't wish for a better companion.

As Steinarius slowly walked towards Morokei, the final chamber of Labyrinthian was overrun by perfect silence. Agda saw the Imperial approach the trapped dragon priest, which remained perfectly still for the whole time. Then, Steinarius gestured for her to attack the first of the thralls.

Despite her trembling hands, Agda summoned a Fire Atronach and forced it to attack one of the ghostly thralls while she focused her efforts on the other. The trapped mages seemed surprised when the first spells hit them - yet, when they crumbled into ash, Agda believed she'd seen a glimpse of relief in their glassy eyes.

Despite that brief sensation, the young Nord had no time to think about the destiny of those unlucky men - when Morokei snapped his eyes open and shrieked in anger, Agda could only scream for Steinarius to be careful and look for a safe shelter from which she could cast her deadly fireballs.

While the young Nord was busy killing the ghostly mages, Steinarius followed her movements with his eyes. Then, when Morokei finally broke free, the Dragonborn was quick to smash the hilt of his sword against the dragon priest' head. Under other circumstances, the undead's baffled reaction would have actually been funny - yet, when Morokei let out a rageful shout and cast a powerful spell, Agda's amusement immediately disappeared. When a shock spell moved towards Steinarius at full speed, the young Nord screamed and closed her eyes in horror. When she reopened them, she was shocked to see that Steinarius had become as ethereal as a ghost and that Morokei' spells had had no effect whatsoever on the Imperial. Taking advantage of that, the Dragonborn circled his enemy and tried to run his sword through his chest. There was a loud shriek, then Morokei turned towards Steinarius and used a powerful Shout to try and swipe him off his feet. The Imperial was quick to dodge the attack and was even quicker to retrieve his sword, which had fallen to the ground as a consequence of his enemy' abrupt movements.

Under Agda's amazed eyes, Steinarius used another Shout that caused an unnatural light to surround him. To the young mage, the Imperial suddenly looked like a true dragon: an armor that seemed completely made of fire namely enveloped his body, whereas red angry flames took to floating around him. Agda had never thought her clumsy friend could look that menacing.

After taking on the aspect of a dragon, Steinarius seemed to inherit the power of those beasts too: his Shouts became more frequent and more powerful, whereas his movements seemed to become much more powerful. Yet, when Morokei almost blew his head off with a spell, Agda understood that his friend needed her help to win that battle. Spurred by that realization, the girl summoned a Storm Atronach and attacked the dragon priest with all her rage and her power. At first Morokei seemed unbothered by the faint attacks of that little mage; yet, all of a sudden the powerful undead forgot about Steinarius and floated mid-air until he reached the girl.

 _And to say that these things are supposed to be slow!_ , Agda barely had the time to think. A moment later, the girl summoned a magic ward to defend herself from Morokei's attacks. Sadly enough, the dragon priest' powerful magic destroyed that barrier in no time.

As she was thrown to the ground by the explosion of her own defensive ward, Agda couldn't help but scream Steinarius' name. The girl watched Morokei approach her, she felt that creature drain all of her magicka, she stood still as the dead eyes of that terrifying enemy met hers; yet, right when Agda thought that her time of dying had come, the dragon priest backed down. At first Agda didn't understand what had just happened - and a moment later, when she realized that a very angry Steinarius had just climbed on Morokei's back in order to distract him, the girl couldn't believe her eyes. There was a loud shriek, but after a moment of confusion the dragon priest focused on Agda once again. Right when the mage thought that this time she really had no way out of that situation, however, she was swiped off her feet by a powerful Shout. The collision with the ground almost caused Agda to faint, but it didn't prevent her from realizing what had just happened: much to her shock, Steinarius had literally Shouted her out of harm's way.

Before the young mage could recover from her surpsie and from the pain in her sore ribs, her attention was drawn once again to the fight that was unfolding not far from her. Taking advantage of Steinarius' attempt to save her, Morokei had namely cast a powerful shock spell at the Imperial - and this time Steinarius hadn't been fast enough to dodge it.

Agda watched in horror as the Imperial passed out because of the electrocution, then she did the most dangerous thing she could think of at the moment: driven by rage, she got on her feet and grabbed Steinarius' sword, which had fallen to the ground after the Dragonborn had climbed on Morokei's back. Then, taking advantage of the undead's distraction, Agda shoved the weapon through his ribs. At that point everything in Labyrinthian seemed to slow down: the dragon priest slowly turned towards the girl and for a brief second their eyes met. Agda saw the anger and the hatred and the disgust that burnt there, but she also saw a feeble hint of despair - and when Morokei fell to the ground and crumbled into ash, the girl realized that that horrible creature would no longer haunt Skyrim.

Much to her surprise, a former innkeeper of Riverwood had succeeded in slaying a terrible dragon priest.

* * *

Despite her victory, Agda didn't have time to rejoice: although she'd just killed a dragon priest and made her way to the Staff of Magnus, right then the girl could only think of Steinarius.

Although her collision with the hard ground of Labyrinthian had caused her to break at least one rib, Agda didn't feel any pain as she ran towards the Imperial and hastily knelt by his side. She was quick to unfasten his cuirass, to take off his helmet, to free him from his heavy gauntlets so that he could breathe more easily - and when the man came to with a sharp intake of air, Agda immediately threw her arms around his neck.

"You're alive!", she cried out. Her eyes were full of tears caused by the fear of losing her friend and by the joy of seeing him awake.

"If you tighten your grip, I won't be alive much longer", Steinarius said. He sounded tired, but his pale face was lit by a smile. When he tried to move, however, his body was overrun by violent spasms.

"You should lay down and rest", Agda suggested him. "That shock spell was rather powerful".

"Tell me about that", the Dragonborn grimaced. Nonetheless, he was quick to follow Agda' suggestion. When the girl laid her hands on his chest, however, Steinarius immediately tried to sit up.

"What..."

"Stay still, Stein: I'm going to cast a special spell that will help you regain both your health and your stamina".

Steinarius didn't say anything as a golden light left Agda's hands and slowly enveloped his body. Right then he was completely, utterly fascinated by the girl's talent.

"I should get injured more often", he joked. "That spell is rather pleasant".

A deadly look on Agda' side was enough for Steinarius to realize how worried she was for him.

"Don't even say it", the girl sternly said. "It was my fault if you got hurt - and I can't stand the thought of another accident like this".

"Well, _accidents like this_ aren't that bad", the Dragonborn pointed out. "We killed Morokei and, if my eyes don't deceit me, we've retrieved the Staff of Magnus. Give me a minute to recover and then we'll be ready to leave for Winterhold".

Agda nodded, then she fell silent as Steinarius closed his eyes and ran a hand across his face. The man looked alright, but the fact that he hadn't sat up yet clearly meant that he was still feeling dizzy. As she thought about that, Agda cast a worried glance towards the Imperial. With his tousled hair, Steinarius looked nothing like the powerful warrior who'd faced Morokei less than ten minutes earlier.

While studying her friend's appearance, Agda noticed a little amulet hanging around his neck. The sight of that necklace was enough for her jaw to drop open.

"A Talos amulet?", Agda asked after taking a closer look at that weird piece of jewelry. To her surprise, Steinarius nodded.

"My grandma was a Nord", he sternly reminded his companion. "This amulet has been in her family for centuries and it was her gift to me when I left Cyrodiil for Solitude. When I was younger I would often wear this amulet, but I stopped putting it on after joining the Legion. Now I wear it only when I fight against tough enemies, as it helps me Shout more often".

Agda nodded at that explanation, then she fell silent - after all, if she wanted Steinarius to recover quickly, she needed to give him some rest.

As she thought about the fight with Morokei, Agda laid her eyes on her hands, which were nestled in her lap. When she noticed the scars that marred them, the girl sighed.

"You remember the gift you gave me on New Life Festival, don't you?", she asked Steinarius with a faint whisper.

Worried by Agda's feeble voice, the Imperial was quick to nod.

"Of course I do. It was a golden necklace with a powerful alchemy enchantment. Why are you asking?"

Agda sighed again.

"I don't have it anymore", she faintly admitted. All of a sudden the girl looked tired and weak. "I think... I think Ancano stole it from me. I had it when I ventured into the Midden, but when I woke up in Dawnstar it was gone".

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius allowed those words to sink through his mind. Not only had that wretched Thalmor hurt Agda, not only had he abused her body and her mind, not only had he ruined her face - he'd also taken that token of his affection away from her. That thought was enough for the Dragonborn to forget his tiredness and the spasms that were still tormenting his muscles.

"Fine", Steinarius said as he slowly got back on his feet.

When Agda made to help him, the Imperial stopped her with a gesture. A moment later, he looked in her confused eyes and frowned.

"I've had enough of this Ancano", Steinarius announced at that point. "Let's go retrieve your necklace, Agds - and since we're at it, let's kill that bastard once and for all".

As she looked into the grey eyes of her companion, Agda couldn't help but nod. At the same time, she murmured a quick _thank you_ prayer to the Divines.

Had she not met that weird man, her life would have surely been much more boring.


	52. Over now

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with one of the angstiest chapters I've ever written. It recounts the battle against Ancano and I hope the descriptions are not too blurred and confused.**

 **As always, I deeply thank all my followers, favoriters and reviewers. The shout-outs of the week go to the loyal Elspeth, Valtieri and Maz1X for their kind comments. Also, I have to admit that this time your reviews gave me the inspiration I needed to write this instalment.**

 **As for Valtieri's review, I seem to have a radar that allows me to detect your favourite NPCs (Erandur, Marcurio and so on) and forces me to make them do very bad and out-of-character things. I swear I don't do it intentionally!**

 **On to Elspeth's comments, I'm really sorry for the way you killed poor Uthgerd. As for me, I once managed to abandon Lydia in an ancient ruin by mistake (I'd told her to wait for me and later forgot about her). When I came back a few in-game days later, she was dead. Ops...** **As for dragon priests, I actually agree with you: they are so damned difficult to kill! Every time I come across one, I almost weep in despair. As for the game I'm currently playing, it's _Dragon Age: Origins_ and it's pretty good. Actually, it got me so hooked that one day I may even write a fanfic about it. **

**Speaking of which...**

 **At first I actually wanted Stein to be 30ish too, but I had to change that detail because, if I ever decided to write a prequel or a sequel to this story, then I would have troubles from the chronological point of view. After all, I don't want to write a follow-up in which the main character is 45! :P**

 **As for Maz1x's comment, I really do thank you for the tip - also, I hope this instalment will provide you with a nice surprise.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Although Steinarius pretended to be completely fine, it actually took him a while to recover from his fight against Morokei; yet, even if Agda could see the spasms that still tormented his muscles, the Imperial was keen on leaving for Winterhold as soon as possible.

"Now that we have the Staff of Magnus, Ancano cannot escape us", Steinarius sternly told the young mage. "That's why we need to leave immediately".

Realizing that the Dragonborn was right, Agda nodded and lowered her gaze on the staff she was holding in her hands. The young mage had never wielded anything that powerful.

Before she and Steinarius could leave the final chamber of Labyrinthian, however, Agda's attention was drawn by a little item near Morokei's corpse. The girl hadn't noticed it until then.

"It's Morokei's mask", Steinarius explained once he understood that the girl was very interested by that object. "Every dragon priest wears a similar one".

Spurred by those words, Agda approached the mask and took it in her hands. That weird item vibrated with the power of its enchantment.

"This mask helps magicka regeneration", the young mage pointed out with a very impressed tone. "It seems rather useful".

"You should take it, then", Steinarius smiled. "Actually, I have a few of those things myself".

Agda was surprised by that admission.

"You collect Dragon Priest masks?!"

Confronted with the girl' shock, the Imperial let out a little chuckle.

"I _used to_ collect them, Agds: sadly enough, I had to stop when my huskarls complained. Jordis almost freaked out when she saw me walking around the house with one of those masks on my face".

Agda frowned at the mention of that woman: after all that time, she still hadn't got around the idea that Steinarius owned a house in Whiterun and a much bigger manor in Solitude. Since the man was friend with the local Jarls, he'd also been provided with a huskarl in both those cities.

"I'll take the mask with me, then", Agda announced after briefly thinking that situation through. "With the Staff of Magnus, Morokei's mask and the diadema I found in Shalidor's Maze, I think I have a chance against Ancano. Also, in the future this mask will help me with something else too - if I survive the fight against that Thalmor, of course".

Confused by those words, Steinarius gave Agda a baffled look. When he realized what she meant, however, his expression immediately softened.

"Agds", the Imperial gently said. His voice was full of tenderness and affection. "You can't go around with a Dragon Priest mask on your face. You'll scare the wits out of your friends".

"I'd scare them much more if I met them without a face mask".

For the first time since he'd left for Winterhold to find Ancano, Steinarius took a good look at the scars on Agda's face. Those marks were similar to angry red welts and created complex patterns across her cheeks, her nose, even her lips. Two of them were particularly nasty and formed a long path that went from the corners of the girl's mouth to the middle of her forehead. As he analyzed them, Steinarius felt his heart swell with rage.

"Agds, I'm sure that your colleagues will help you hide those scars with their magic", he reassured the young girl. "And don't forget that you're beautiful anyway, sweetie pie".

The mage blushed in embarrassement at those words - she wasn't used to receiving compliments and was actually amused by the nickname Steinarius had just given her.

"Flatterer", she murmured with a little smile. A moment later, however, Agda regained her sterness. "Face mask or not, we have to go and kill Ancano", she reminded her friend.

Steinarius nodded, then reached the young girl and laid a hand on her shoulder.

He was more than ready to put an end to the troubles caused by Ancano.

* * *

Agda hadn't planned on revealing Steinarius how worried she was by her new scars, but the man's understanding had managed to make her feel better about it. Moreover, his desire to retrieve the necklace he'd once given her had caused a rush of tenderness to warm her heart and her soul.

With that powerful warrior by her side, Agda felt ready to take on every possible enemy.

Shortly before reaching the exit to Labyrinthian, Steinarius surprised the young mage by asking for her permission to make a brief pause. Worried by that request, Agda immediately made to cast a healing spell and help her friend with the injuries he'd recently sustained. Yet, the Imperial was quick to stop her.

"Nature is calling", he sheepishly admitted. "That's why I need to stop: I'm afraid you'll have to wait for me while I look for a restroom".

Agda blushed at that, then she let out a tiny chuckle - despite all the legends regarding him, the mighty Dragonborn was nothing bu a common human.

As she waited for Steinarius to reach her, however, the young mage had a nasty surprise: a Thalmor namely walked inside the room where she was waiting, thus causing her to shudder in surprise. Despite that unexpected meeting, however, Agda was quick to react: she summoned a Storm Atronach and a powerful defensive ward, then she used the Staff of Magnus to drain her enemy's magicka. When the Atronach killed that unfortunate Altmer, the Nord mage frowned: she really needed to get to Winterhold as fast as she could.

* * *

After discovering that the Thalmor were already lurking around Labyrnthian, both Agda and Steinarius realized they had no time to lose. Spurred by that awareness, they immediately reached the place where they'd left their horses and rode back to the College as quickly as they could.

Now that Steinarius was giving her some advice, Agda had no troubles directing her mare; the Dragonborn, on the other hand, had no problems whatsoever during the fast journey towards Winterhold - as she admired the way he confidently led his horse, Agda even started to believe that Steinarius was the best rider of Skyrim.

Upon reaching Winterhold, the two unlikely allies were shocked by the sight that paraded in front of their eyes: an unnatural magical maelstrom surrounded the College, whereas many injured guards and mages had gathered at the entrance of the city.

"All is lost!", a very upset man screamed as soon as Agda and Steinarius hopped off their horses. "Flee if you can, or else you should die here!"

Through the face mask she had just put on, Agda gave Steinarius a worried look. The girl immediately felt relieved when she saw the calmness and the braveness in the man's eyes - and when he nodded at her, she felt all of her fears dissipate at once. As she walked towards the huge maelstrom that surrounded the College, however, Agda understood that Steinarius' presence wasn't enough to kill Ancano - given that the man had no magical knowledge whatsoever, cutting a way through the barrier that divided them from the College was entirely up to her. For some reason, that thought made the young Nord very unease.

Luckily enough, Steinarius was quick to understand Agda's worry. While contemplating the maelstrom that surrounded their destination, the man namely laid a hand on the mage's elbow. When Agda looked at him, the Imperial slightly squeezed her arm and smiled.

"I'll be right behind you for the whole time, Agds", he promised. "Let's go and kill Ancano".

The woman nodded at that, then she returned her gaze to the College. She was more than ready for the final battle against her torturer.

* * *

Agda had been surprised by the way her fellow mages had refused to offer her any help; as a consequence, when a very battered Mirabelle reached her together with an equally tired Tolfdir, the girl welcomed them with a smile.

"You've made it!", the Breton teacher said when she noticed the Staff of Magnus and the way Agda was holding that precious weapon in her hands. "We have no time to lose: let's use the Staff of Magnus and put an end to this disaster!"

Agda nodded, then she prepared to cut her way through the magic ward that prevented her from reaching Ancano.

First of all, the young mage hung the diadema she'd found in Shalidor's maze around her neck; a moment later, she put on Morokei's mask and used the Staff of Magnus to destroy the barrier created by the Thalmor.

There was a loud explosion and a few magic anomalies immediately attacked the young mage and her three allies. Caught between Steinarius' sword and the teacher's spells, however, the creatures met a quick and merciless death.

Once the path in front of their eyes was cleared, Agda, Steinarius, Mirabelle and Tolfdir ran up to the entrance of the College and entered the building. When they saw Ancano, they realized that the man had clearly lost his mind.

"You've come for me, haven't you?", the Thalmor screamed when he noticed the four people who were about to face him. His eyes shone with a strange light, whereas his mouth formed a cruel smirk. "You think I don't know what you're up to? You think I can't destroy you? The power to unmake the world at my fingertips, yet you think you can do anything about it! Unfortunately, I am beyond your pathetic attempts at magic. You cannot touch me!"

Annoyed by the Thalmor's arrogant words, Tolfdir cast a few fireballs at his enemy. Just like Ancano had announced, the spells were unfortunately dissipated by an invisible ward that divided him from his adversaries.

"You fools!", the Thalmor shouted when confronted with those useless attempts at hurting him. "You have no power here!"

Infuriated by that attitude, Tolfdir made to cast another spell at that arrogant Altmer, but Mirabelle was quick to stop him by laying a hand on his elbow.

"The Staff of Magnus is our only chance to make it to Ancano", she explained. "Agda, you know what you need to do".

Confronted with the determined look in the Breton's tired eyes, Agda nodded. A moment later, she used the staff to destroy the barrier that divided her from Ancano. In the meantime Tolfdir and Mirabelle cast a few more spells, whereas Steinarius used a Fire Shout to weaken that magical ward. Eventually, all those efforts proved to be successful: there was a booming noise, then the whole College shook as an effect of the explosion that destroyed the magic barrier that until then had prevented Agda and her allies from attacking Ancano.

The Thalmor welcomed that unexpected fact with a rageful shout.

"You cannot defeat me!", he screamed.

A moment later, when Ancano cast a powerful spell and Agda's world was overrun by darkness, the young Nord realized that her enemy actually meant what he'd just said.

* * *

As soon as Ancano let out a rageful shout and raised his hands towards her, Agda reacted by summoning the strongest defensive ward she knew . She heard Steinarius try and shout in order to become ethereal, she heard Tolfdir curse loudly, she heard Mirabelle shout in despair; a moment later, the ground shook again and Agda had to fight hard to open her eyes. As she did, the mage was confronted with a terrible sight: part of the ceiling had fallen into the Hall of Elements, whereas some of the windows had been broken; pieces of glass now adorned the floor of that large room, whereas the nearby sources of magical energy seemed to have lost all their power. But most of all, Agda noticed Mirabelle's broken body not far from her and Steinarius' paralyzed form beside her. When Tolfdir crawled towards the woman and let out a pained cry, the girl realized that her mentor had just been killed.

There was a long moment of silence during which Tolfdir's desperate yell echoed through the room. Confronted with the pain of the old man, Ancano burst into an evil laughter.

"You will be next!", he announced. At that point, Tolfdir was hit by a powerful lightning spell that caused him to lose consciousness.

The sight of the limp body of that kind mage was enough to snap Agda out of her shock: moved by rage, the young Nord let out a scream and charged towards Ancano. The man cast a spell by lazily moving his arm, thus causing the girl to fly through the room and collide with one of the stone walls of the hall. Shocked by the power of her enemy, Agda fell to the ground with a whimper.

"Look who's here", Ancano said while approaching her. "I thought I'd never see you again, filth - yet, it seems I underestimated your stubborness. Also, I underestimated how much you enjoy being tortured. You didn't get enough and you came back for a second round, didn't you? I shall fulfill your wish, then - and this time we will even have an audience".

As he spoke, Ancano slowly turned towards Steinarius. The Imperial hadn't had enough time to use a shout and defend himself from the Thalmor's powerful spell from earlier, therefore he'd fallen to the ground as a consequence of the powerful wave of energy that had unexpectedly washed over him. From the way Steinarius was clutching his shoulder, Agda realized that he'd probably broken it.

"I didn't know that the Dragonborn of legends would think of me as a threat", Ancano said while approaching the injured Imperial. He cast a spell to paralyze him, so that Steinarius was completely at his mercy. "I should probably feel honored by that. Also, I should probably go to Elenwen and tell her that she's right: a weak man like you has no chance to save the world, Crepusculus. Hopefully we'll soon find an Altmer who can take on your role as the Last Dragonborn, so that Alduin will be defeated and Skyrim will be at our feet once again. On a side note, that will also mean that we won't need you anymore, Crepusculus, and that we'll finally be able to wipe off you and your family from the face of Nirn".

Ancano cruelly smiled as he said those words, then he turned once again to face Agda. The girl wasn't paralyzed, but the collision with the walls of the room had been enough to make her unable to move.

"Ladies first, as they say in the Empire", the Thalmor said with a low chuckle. "Your friend Mirabelle is dead and Tolfdir will soon follow suit, filth", he added. "I'd like to eliminate your Dragonborn friend too, but first I want to kill you once and for all, brat. Don't hope for a merciful death, though: you were a pain in my ass for the whole time, Agda of Anvil, so I think you deserve a slow and painful demise".

As he spoke, Ancano took a little dagger out of his pocket. A moment later he cast a spell that caused Morokei's mask to fall from Agda's face. The girl reacted with a shocked whimper.

"First of all, I think I'd like to carve a few more scars in your pretty cheeks", the Thalmor announced as Agda let out a pained whine. The girl was in evident distress. "And since we're at it, this time I'd like you to be completely conscious while I do it. Then I think I'll use your body again, just like I did that time while we were in the Midden. Who knows, perhaps your Imperial friend will enjoy the view and ask to join - I could let him, you know: after all, this may be your last occasion to be together before I kill you both".

Those words caused Steinarius to let out an angry growl, to which Ancano replied with a laughter.

Ignoring the man's attempts to break free from his paralysis spell, the Altmer approached Agda and forced her upright with a spell. A moment later, he approached her and laid a hand on her chin.

"Where would you like me to start from, filth?", he asked her. "Shall I begin from your forehead or..."

Ancano never got to finish that sentence: when Agda used the power of the Serpent Stone, he could only fall to the ground and watch in horror as his paralysis spells suddenly ceased to work.

* * *

Even when her enemy collapsed as a consequence of her spell, Agda couldn't find the strength to attack him. The collision with the wall behind her had caused her legs to feel numb and useless, whereas her back was throbbing painfully. In those conditions she could only do one thing: reach for the pockets of her mage robes and try to gulp as many healing potions as possible.

On the other side of the room, Steinarius was doing almost as badly as Agda. His shoulder was broken, he was sure of that, and he even had a few worries about his ribs and his hip and his legs. Yet, when the spell that was preventing him from moving ceased to work, the Imperial was quick to react: spurred by rage and hatred and disgust, he let out a rageful groan and turned into a werewolf.

Agda could only watch in a mixture of horror and awe and anxiety as the huge animal Steinarius had just shifted into approached Ancano - and she could only scream in terror when the Thalmor regained his powers shortly before the wolf's jaws closed around his neck. There was a powerful explosion, then Steinarius was shoved against one of the pillars of the room as a consequence of the Thalmor' spell; nonetheless, the huge grey wolf didn't even flinch: he groaned in anger, then he charged again at his enemy.

Ancano seemed utterly shocked by the creature who was now facing him, and he seemed even more shocked by the way Steinarius had recovered from his injuries - after all, he couldn't know that werewolves were much more resistant than men and that their broken bones healed as soon as they shifted into their animal form.

Despite the surprise, the cunning Thalmor seemed to know how to avoid the dangerous claws of his furry enemy: every time Steinarius got too close to him, Ancano would namely use a teleportation spell to take himself out of harm's way.

As the fight unfolded, Agda was overrun by worry for Steinarius' health and by amazement for her opponent's talent: teleportation spells were very difficult to learn and even more difficult to master. At the same time, however, the young mage didn't forget that she was holding the Staff of Magnus in her hands; as a consequence, she soon got to her feet and began draining as much magicka as she could from the Eye of Magnus.

As Ancano' spells got slower and weaker, the girl realized she was doing the right thing.

* * *

When his powers seemed to abandon him, Ancano frowned in confusion. Unfortunately for Agda, it didn't take him long to understand that she was the one to blame for that sudden change in his skills.

Willing to put that young mage out of the game once and for all, the Thalmor temporarily forgot about Steinarius and made to charge at her. When the werewolf prevented him from getting too close to the girl, however, Ancano realized that he needed to kill that creature if he wanted to dispatch Agda. Spurred by that awareness, the Mer exploited his last amount of magicka to use an old trick he'd learned when he was younger: he disappeared into thin air, then he teleported himself right behind Steinarius.

The werewolf seemed rather surprised by that dangerous technique, but he was quick to close his jaw around the Altmer's arm. Unfortunately, the Imperial hadn't considered the sharp dagger Ancano held in his other hand.

There was a loud growl as the weapon dug its way through the werewolf's chest and there was an even louder scream when Ancano freed his bloody arm from the jaws of the creature. That rabid beast had almost ripped his limb away from his body and the Altmer was about to make him pay for it. Before Ancano could lower his dagger again, however, a shrill scream echoed through the room.

Driven by arrogance, the Thalmor had underestimated Agda once again.

* * *

Agda watched in shock as Steinarius fell to the ground and slowly shifted back into his human form. Upon noticing the pool of blood that immediately formed around his body, the girl took a quick decision: there was no way she was going to let Ancano live after he'd hurt her best friend that badly.

Overrun by hatred, Agda forgot about the Staff of Magnus, forgot about her pain, forgot about her inexperience with particularely complicated spells: right then the young mage only wanted to avenge Steinarius, Mirabelle and herself. Spurred by that desire, the talented Nord succeeded in using a teleportation spell that carried her right behind Ancano's back.

The Altmer had been too busy with his injured limb to pay Agda any attention - and when the girl appeared at his side and let out a rageful scream, Ancano could only turn his head to be greeted by the deadly look in the Nord's eyes. A moment later, a dagger was violently shoved through his ribs, right where his heart was beating.

"This is for Winterhold", Agda hissed. Her voice was thick with hatred and rage and despair. "And this is for Savos Aren and Mirabelle Ervin", she added while twisting her blade in Ancano's chest. "This instead is for Steinarius. And this... This is for me".

* * *

Agda watched as Ancano slowly crumbled to the ground, as the light left his cruel eyes, as her dagger slipped away from her bloody hands. A moment later, the mage fell to her knees.

 _It's over_ , she briefly thought. _Over, over, over_.

With one last effort, Agda tried to crawl towards Steinarius. When she finally reached him, the girl laid her hand on his forehead and gently caressed his sweaty hair. The skin of the Imperial was cold and slick with blood.

Ple _ase let him be alright_ , the young mage thought as she gently ran her hand through the man's hair. She was too weak to move any further and check whether Steinarius' heart was still beating. _Please let him be alright_.

While she was still worried about her unconscious friend, Agda's visual field was filled by a white light; a moment later, a seemingly ethereal mage appeared right in front of her eyes.

For a crazy second the girl believed she recognized Quaranir, the Psijic Monk she'd met in Winterhold what felt like a lifetime ago.

"We knew you would succeed", the yellow-eyed man said. His face was lit by a gentle smile. "Your victory here justifies our belief in you, Agda of Anvil. You have proven yourself more than worthy to guide the College of Winterhold".

There was a brief pause during which Agda felt on the brink of fainting. Right then she found it hard to understand what the stranger was telling her.

"The Eye has grown unstable", Quaranir added. He was now talking more rapidly, almost as though he knew that Agda was about to pass out. "It cannot remain here, or else it may destroy your College and this world. Ancano's actions prove that the world is not ready for such a thing, so we shall safeguard it... at least for now. You now have the opportunity to maintain your College, Agda, and carry on with your life. You have our gratitude, Arch-Mage".

Agda was puzzled by those last words and would have liked to ask Quaranir a lot of questions; yet, the monk was quick to disappear, thus leaving her alone on the cold stone pavement of the College - and when weakness washed over her, the young mage stopped fighting and slowly slipped into the welcoming embrace of darkness.


	53. New beginnings

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the usual weekly update for this story. First, however, let me thank Valtieri, Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim for their loyal support.**

 **As for Valtieri's review, I must admit that my sister and I adore that certain NPC from Oblivion too. My sister even stopped playing altogether when Lucien told her to purify the sanctuary!**

 **Just like Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim, I'm really looking forward to the new arch this story is about to undergo. Now that the College storyline is over, a new path begins for both Agda and Steinarius - and to Valtieri's joy, Delphine and Adaeze will return to the story already in this chapter ;)**

 **Over the last few weeks we saw our lil' Agda become a fierce warrior; yet, the young woman still hasn't forgotten all the problems she had to face before slaying Ancano - and now that she has a little time to think, our brave mage will be forced to come to terms with her scarred face, with the tortures she's endured, with her usual nightmares and with her lack of memories regarding her journey from Winterhold to Dawnstar, all while dealing with a new job and the responsibility it involves. In the meantime, Stein will obviously try to help her - and when Stein tries to help Agda, we all know that shenanigans ensure.**

 **So, this pretty much sums up what we'll see over the next few chapters. For the moment, enjoy this latest instalment and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **29th of Hearthfire, 4E 202**

"It's a true miracle he made it out of there alive. Ancano missed his heart by a mere inch".

"Yes, he was very lucky indeed. After such a bad injury, it's no wonder he still hasn't regained consciousness".

"Actually, it was the Archmage who ordered to let him rest as long as possible. She even gave him powerful sleeping draughts to prevent him from waking up! Speaking of which: it's a true pity the Archmage decided to destroy Ancano's dagger. That thing was enchanted to do exactly what his owner wanted!"

"Which is the reason why our boss is now stuck with ugly scars that won't fade no matter what she does - and it's also the reason why her friend has been poisoned as well as stabbed. Unlike you, I think the Archmage made the right choice when she destroyed that weapon".

As he heard those words, Steinarius frowned. Two people were talking just a few steps away from him, but he felt too tired to open his eyes. When he whimpered, however, the voices stopped and someone hastily reached his bedside.

"Can you hear me?", someone asked with a very worried tone.

Steinarius whined, then he made a huge effort to open his eyes. As soon as he did, he was confronted with the surprised gaze of a young Nord man.

"Brelyna, look, he's awake!"

Spurred by that comment, a Dunmer approached Steinarius' bed. Luckily enough, she seemed slightly more competent than her friend.

"It's good to see that you're doing better, mr. Dragonborn", she said. Steinarius was rather annoyed by her formal and zealant tone. "The Archmage will be here in a moment. Try to keep still while Onmund and I go fetch her".

By the time Steinarius could process those words, the Dunmer and her weird companion had already left the room. Confronted with his isolation, the man sighed and brought a hand to his forehead. Right then the Imperial realized two important things: first, the room where he was staying definitely looked like the office of the Archmage of Winterhold; second, moving his right arm sent a shot of pain through his whole body.

In an attempt to find out why he was so sore, Steinarius noticed that someone had wrapped a tight bandage around his chest. _Ancano missed his heart by a mere inch_ , the Nord apprentice from earlier had said - and after noticing his bandages, the Dragonborn realized that the weird boy had been talking about him for the whole time.

Prompted by the discovery, Steinarius recalled his ride towards Winterhold, his fight against Ancano, the way that bastard had threatened to torture Agda right in front of his eyes. Unfortunately, from then on the Dragonborn's memories were only a confused blur. As a consequence, the man had no idea as to the young mage's fate.

Steinarius was snapped out of his thoughts when the door to his room burst open. When a worried woman hastily walked towards his bed, the Imperial felt a wave of relief wash over him: Agda had made it out of her fight with Ancano unscathed - and if her appearance meant anything, she was brilliantly recovering from the traumas she'd endured over the previous weeks. Her curly hair were namely tied in a neat pony tail, whereas her apprentice robes looked clean and comfortable. Moreover, her brown eyes shone with relief, while her lips were curled in a little smile.

"Thank Talos you're awake!", she squealed as soon as she noticed that her colleagues had told her the truth.

"Agds!", Steinarius replied once the mage entered his visual field. The Dragonborn smiled and made to sit up, but that effort caused him to wince in pain.

"Easy, Stein", Agda immediately told him with a gentle smile. A moment later the mage sat down on her friend's bed and laid her hands on his shoulders. "Let me help you lay down again: you're still too sore to..."

Agda never got to finish that sentence: taking advantadge of her position on his bed, Steinarius namely threw his arms around her neck and pulled her into a tight embrace. The Imperial didn't let go even when the mage tried to protest: right then, with his face buried in Agda's curls and her scent filling his nostrils, the Dragonborn felt happy for the first time in weeks.

"I'm so relieved to see you're alive!", he admitted.

"I should be the one to say that", Agda chuckled. "After all, you're the one who was almost stabbed to death after turning into a werewolf".

"I must admit that I don't remember anything from the fight against Ancano", Steinarius confessed, embarassement well evident in his voice. "Yet, I'm happy to see that you didn't get hurt".

"I actually have three broken ribs, Stein - which is why I'd be very grateful if you could release me from this hug".

Upon hearing those words, Steinarius immediately let go of Agda. The young mage winced, then she brought a hand to her sore chest.

"I didn't mean to hurt you", the Imperial was quick to apologize. "Geez, I've just regained consciousness, but I'm already causing you troubles".

Agda chuckled at that. A moment later, however, she surprised Steinarius by pulling a rather sheepish expression.

"Actually, had it not been for me, you would have regained consciousness three days ago", she confessed.

The news caused Steinarius' jaw to drop open.

"What..."

"Stein, Ancano caused you to lose a lot of blood", Agda immediately broke the Imperial off. "Moreover, when he stabbed you you already had a dislocated shoulder and some other nasty injuries. Last but not least, over the previous two weeks you've forsaken sleep in order to stand by me and to help me retrieve the Staff of Magnus. That's why I gave you a sleeping draught together with the usual healing potions: I wanted you to feel better, but I also wanted you to rest - and I know that you can't do that if you're conscious".

Steinarius blinked in confusion. On the one hand, he found Agda's concern to be very moving; on the other, the Imperial didn't like the fact that she'd taken decisions regarding his health without even bothering to ask for his opinion.

Before the Dragonborn could express his mixed feelings, however, an unexpected shot of pain ran through his chest and caused him to let out a pained whine.

"See? It looks like I was right: you still need to rest if you want to recover fully", Agda commented. The observant girl hadn't missed the sound that had just escaped Steinarius' lips. "Here, let me help you find a comfortable position".

The Dragonborn didn't say anything as Agda helped him lay down again, as she placed a few soft pillows under his head, as she covered him with warm furs and cast a few healing spell that caused the pain in his body to fade. Steinarius enjoyed those little displays of affection without uttering a single word: although he would never admit it, he loved having someone who took care of him in such an affectionate way.

When Agda finally decided that her friend was comfortable enough, she resumed her place at his side. At that moment Steinarius could finally take a good look at her and realize that the young mage actually seemed to be doing fine. Considering all the tortures and efforts and sufferance Agda had endured over the previous weeks, the man couldn't describe how happy he was to notice that.

"That necklace...", Steinarius said while pointing at the little jewel around the girl's neck.

Agda, who'd been analyzing his features very carefully for the previous few seconds, was snapped out of her thoughts and immediately began toying with her golden pendant.

"It's the necklace you bought me for New Life Festival, yes", she confirmed with a nod. "Ancano kept it hidden in his office. I'm glad he didn't destroy it in order to learn the enchantment".

Steinarius smiled at the news, but he noticed that Agda's expression was somewhat crossed.

When the girl resumed toying with her necklace, the man took a better look at the scars on her face. Those marks were as red as usual and seemed covered by a weird shiny substance.

"I see you've given up the plan of wearing Morokei's mask", the Dragonborn joked.

When Agda's face was shadowed by a frown, Steinarius realized he'd just threaded into a dangerous topic. The man also cursed himself for his poor conversational skills: every time he talked to the young girl, he always ended up saying the wrong thing.

"I did try to go around with Morokei's mask on my face", the mage sternly explained. "When two people in a row mistook me for a threat, however, I chose to wear a common face mask. I don't want my colleagues to kill me because they believe I'm a Dragon Priest".

"You're not wearing a mask now, though", Steinarius pointed out with a smile. "I think that's the best option, Agds. As I already told you, you are a very beautiful woman and those scars only add to your charm".

Agda scoffed.

"Going around with those scars on display isn't an option", she hastily told Steinarius. The girl seemed rather angered by his suggestion. "At the moment I'm not wearing a mask just because I was with Drevis when they called me into your room: he's the Illusion teacher of the College and we're currently working on an ointment that should help me hide my wounds; in the meanwhile, I have to rely on this useless soothing balm".

When Agda said that, Steinarius realized what the substance on her face was.

Willing to change topic of conversation, the man asked the girl to describe him the fight against Ancano.

"I'm glad you were the one who killed him", Steinarius admitted at the end of Agda's long tale. He was angry at the damages caused by the Thalmor, but he was also immensely proud of the way his favorite mage had handled that threat. "Ancano got what was coming to him. And by the way, I'm sorry for turning into a werewolf: I should have kept my anger in check, instead I shifted into a rabid beast and almost got myself killed. I fainted like an unexperienced pup when you needed me the most, Agds, and for that I apologize".

"Don't worry", Agda replied with a little smile. "Ancano was a tough opponent, so it's no wonder that he managed to hurt you. After all, we're talking about the man who murdered Savos Aren and Mirabelle Ervine".

Those words suddenly reminded Steinarius of the fact that the College of Winterhold was now left without a leader. Frowning, the man asked Agda for more information.

"The two apprentices from earlier told me they were about to fetch the Archmage", the Dragonborn explained. "Yet, I still haven't received any visitor beside you. Have they perhaps..."

As Steinarius spoke, Agda frowned in confusion. A moment later, the girl blushed and lowered her gaze. Her embarrassement was enough for the Dragonborn to guess the truth.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!", the Imperial cried out once he realized whom he was talking to. His grey eyes were full of shock and happiness and surprise. "YOU, THE NEW ARCHMAGE OF WINTERHOLD?! AGDS, THAT'S GREAT NEWS!"

"You always sound surprised when something good happens to me", Agda pointed out at that moment. Her words were softened by the sheepish smile she was wearing. "By the way yes, I'm the new Archmage of Winterhold".

"That... that's great, Agds!", Steinarius repeated. The news had visibly shocked him, but he was keen on letting the girl know how proud he was of her. "I mean, you're the new Archmage to the only magic school of Skyrim! It's a huge honor, Agds, and I just cannot tell you how happy I am for you! Your colleagues took the best possible decision and I'm sure you'll manage to outlive their expectations. Geez, Agds, I'm so excited about..."

When Agda rolled her eyes in exasperation, Steinarius abruptly stopped talking. He couldn't understand why the mage suddenly seemed annoyed by his compliments.

"Agds, what's wrong?", the man asked while reaching for the girl's elbow and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Have I said anything..."

"It's not that", the girl murmured after shaking her head. "I just thought that, of all people, you would understand how I feel".

When Agda raised her eyes from the floor in order to meet his, Steinarius was surprised by the sadness and the tiredness he saw in them.

"Agds, I don't..."

"My colleagues chose me as their new Archmage just because they don't want to deal with the problems the College has right now", Agda broke him off before Steinarius could end the sentence. She was now talking very rapidly and seemed eager to remove a few pebbles from her new Archmage boots. "They won't do anything to help me, just like they won't do anything to change the reputation of this institution: they'll just sit back and watch while everyone else in Skyrim gets angry at me. The Thalmor, the Stormcloaks, even the Legion... I've been Archmage of Winterhold for less than a week and I've already argued with all those factions. Also, over the last seven days I had to organize three funerals. I thought you'd realize how hard this is for me".

Steinarius nodded, then remained silent for a long moment. As the Last Dragonborn, he could perfectly relate to the stressful situations Agda had just described - after all, over the previous year of his life he'd argued with thousands of people too; moreover, as the savior of the world, he himself was forced to deal with problems no one else had the good will to solve. Yet, Steinarius was temporarily distracted by something different: he namely couldn't understand what funerals Agda was talking about.

"Agds, who died?", he asked, fear well evident in his voice.

"Savos Aren, Mirabelle Ervine and Ranmir, one of the inhabitants of Winterhold", the mage answered with a sigh. "The last of the funerals was yesterday evening".

"Adaeze..."

As she heard the name of her best friend, Agda scoffed. That fact caused Steinarius to frown: he didn't know what to make of the girl's reaction.

"Adaeze is doing fine", Agda eventually explained. "I got a letter from her the other day: she's still sore and weak, but her life is not on the line anymore".

"Where is she now?"

"In the Rift, with Hadvar", Agda said. Her voice showed how unhappy she was for that situation. "Which is the reason why I argued with the Legion a few days ago".

Steinarius waited for Agda to elaborate, as he couldn't understand the connection between her, Adaeze and the Legion.

"Adaeze has been staying in the Imperial Camp of the Rift ever since she got hurt", the newly appointed Archmage of Winterhold explained with another exasperated sigh. "Unfortunately, her presence is distracting a certain officer from his tasks - and the Legion is rather unhappy about that. Since they want Hadvar to focus on his duty once again, your former colleagues formally asked me to summon Adaeze in Winterhold. When I pointed out that I have no power whatsoever on my friend, those soldiers openly called me _a filthy traitor who works for the Stormcloaks_ ".

Steinarius was shocked by that discovery: of all the Nords she knew, Agda was the least likely to support the rebels and their leader.

"As if that wasn't enough, a few hours later I received another visit, this time from Solitude", the Archmage said, thus resuming her tale. From her annoyed tone Steinarius realized that she was letting off steam for the first time in weeks. "A Thalmor delegation namely accused me of the unjust murder of two of their officers - our dear friend Ancano and a man called Estormo".

Steinarius reacted to the discovery with an outraged shout.

"Whaaat? Are they crazy or..."

"I don't know if they're crazy: I just know that I forced Ancano's friends to leave Winterhold as fast as they could. You should have seen them running away with their stupid robes floating around their ankles and a couple of Storm Atronachs following them from up-close".

Before Steinarius could even chuckle, Agda began to describe him one of the latest problems she'd been forced to face.

"After the Thalmor and the Legion, even the people from Windhelm decided to bother me", she confessed. "Ulfric Stormcloak namely sent me one of his men in order to enquire about my 'loyalty to Skyrim' - at least, that's what that brainless leecher of his said. When I declared I was neutral to both sides of the Civil War, that kind man called me a _filthy whore who sleeps with the Imperials_ , then left Winterhold without even thanking me for my time or my consideration".

As he heard that last insult, Steinarius' eyes immediately turned golden. The Imperial grimaced, then he made to sit up on his bed.

"What are you doing?", Agda asked him. That reaction had namely taken her by surprise. "You still need to rest, Stein! If you need the bathroom, I can..."

The Dragonborn was quick to shake his head.

"I don't need the restroom", he said as he fought hard to free himself from the blankets that covered him. "I'm standing up because I've heard enough: if Ulfric or Tullius or Elenwen think they can insult you without consequences, they're horribly wrong. You almost got killed while trying to defend your land, which is why the Legion and the Stormcloaks should thank you for your efforts, whereas the Thalmor should have the decency to avoid this part of Skyrim for the rest of the 4th Era. It's amazing how arrogant they can be, it's..."

"Unbelievable, I know", Agda said while cautiously laying a hand on Steinarius' shoulder. The man had finally managed to sit up and seemed determined to leave his bed and go slay a couple of Thalmor. "But you need to rest, Stein. I shouldn't have told you that".

The Dragonborn's determination was severely weakened by the sad look on Agda's face. Fighting against his dizziness, Steinarius sighed and leant towards the girl. He gathered her once again in his arms, then he held her to his chest. Despite her sore ribs, this time Agda didn't protest.

"I want you to tell me everything that happens to you, you hear me?", the Imperial told the young mage in a low whisper. "Right now I'm too weak to go and torment the people who were mean to you; yet, I want them to realize that they cannot insult you without facing my wrath. No one gets away with treating you badly, Agds - not on my watch, at least".

"Stein, I cannot afford myself to look weak", the newly appointed Archmage of Winterhold sighed against the Dragonborn' chest. She wanted to accept Steinarius help, she really did, but she knew that she had to turn down his offer. "I don't want people to consider me one of your puppets".

Shocked by those words, Steinarius quickly pulled away from the young Nord.

" _My_ puppet? Are you crazy, Agds? I'm the only person in Skyrim who doesn't have anyone to command, so I don't get why..."

Before the Imperial could end the sentence, Agda stopped him with a gesture.

"You're right, Stein", she admitted. "I'm sorry. It's just... I received a letter from Delphine the other day and it made me feel bad. She didn't even ask me how we were doing: she just told me she was happy I'd killed Ancano and that she hoped that I didn't mention her name to that man while he was torturing me. Also, she asked me to remind you that you still need to find another recruit for the Blades".

Upon hearing the insults the Stormcloaks had shouted at Agda, Steinarius had got very angry. Now, however, he was downright outraged by Delphine's lack of sympathy.

"That bitch!", he said, rage well evident in his voice. "People like her make me realize that perhaps the end of the world wouldn't be that bad. I swear that the next time I meet her.."

Agda was quick to break Steinarius off.

"Delphine has always been cold and detached, whereas the factions involved in the Civil War have always been heartless and rude", she pointed out. "Yet, you shouldn't forget that there are people the world needs to be saved for. Erandur and Frida, for example: after the battle with Ancano they came here from Dawnstar in order to check on the two of us. Erandur has even agreed to cure you and to help the students from the College with their Restoration studies. I'm sure he'll be a great teacher".

Steinarius was slightly surprised by the news. Also, his friend's words caused him to think of the people he knew and to ask himself whether some of them actually deserved to survive the end of the world. After a brief debate, the Dragonborn found the answer: of all those men and women, the only one he would have gladly died for was right in front of his eyes.

Erandur was right: with more people like Agda, Tamriel would have been a much better place.

* * *

Over the following days Steinarius began feeling better. Agda had lent him her new living quarters, as she still hadn't got used to the idea of being the new Archmage of Winterhold; as a consequence, the man could experience a quick recovery in a very warm and comfortable environment. When he found out why his friend was so keen on sleeping in her old cubicle, however, Steinarius had a rather nasty surprise.

Although Agda had been Archmage of the College for less than two weeks, everyone in Winterhold seemed to appreciate her efforts to restore the former glory of their settlement. The girl for example struck a commercial deal with Birna, so that her shop soon became the only place in Skyrim where people could buy second-hand mage robes and enchanted weapons at very low prices. Agda also provided each of the townguards with enchanted swords and magic rings that could help them with their job and soon gave all the inhabitants of the city a lot of free potions against common diseases and minor injuries. Everyone seemed very impressed by those gifts - everyone but Jarl Korir and his entourage.

Steinarius knew the ruler of Winterhold quite well. All his life Korir had complained about the way "those Imperial leechers from Solitude" ignored his city whenever they had to take a decision; as a consequence, after Thorygg's murder Korir had been quick to support the Stormcloaks and to spread Ulfric's ideas throughout his Hold. While trying to gain more importance in the war talks, a few weeks earlier the Jarl of Winterhold had even asked Agda to retrieve an ancient helmet on his behalf; yet, caught between her tasks at the College, her suspicions related to Ancano and her fear of fighting, the girl had turned down that offer by saying that she didn't want to get involved in politics. Unfortunately, Korir soon began using that fact as a proof of Agda' supposed alliance with the Imperials.

 _We cannot allow that woman to rule the College!_ , the Jarl wrote in a letter he sent to Windhelm and later hung on the door to his house. _She is a supporter of the Empire and she even sleeps with the former friends of Thorygg the Traitor. We cannot have someone as cold and manipulating as her take over our glorious town!_

When he first found out about that letter, Steinarius would have liked to visit Korir and challenge him to a duel, just like Ulfric had done with poor Thorygg.

"I will Shout him to pieces, then we'll see whether he likes it or not!", he screamed in anger.

Agda was quick to stop her friend and make him change his mind, but the Dragonborn nonetheless promised himself that he would keep an eye on Korir - after all, he didn't feel safe knowing that Agda lived not far from that dangerous psycho.

As well as angering him to no end, Korir's letter about the newly appointed Archmage of Winterhold allowed Steinarius to notice a very important thing: although she was trying hard to deny it, something with Agda still wasn't right.

The Dragonborn first made that realization a few days after the Jarl hung a copy of that damned letter of his on the door to his house. Ever since then the people of Winterhold found a funny nickname for Agda - a nickname that caused Steinarius to understand a thing or two about her friend.

Being born in Cyrodiil, until then the young Nord had simply been known as _Agda of Anvil_. After reading Korir's nonsensical rant, however, people started calling her _Agda the Cold_.

 _Not only is that witch friend with the Imperials_ , the Jarl of Winterhold had namely written in his message to Ulfric. _She is also as cold as the land we live in!_

Everyone who knew Agda had burst into laughter when confronted with those words; also, they'd soon nicknamed her _Agda the Cold_ in order to make fun of Korir's letter. One day, however, Steinarius overheard a mage state that her new boss was really as cold as Korir claimed. Shocked by those words, the man was quick to ask for explanations.

"Can't you see?", Nirya promptly replied to his questions. "The Archmage has been through a lot, sure, and that has turned her into a frosty icicle. She never laughs, she never dines with us, she never takes part in our jokes... That girl only thinks about her job and about everything she's been through. Gods, she won't even tell us why she wakes up screaming every night!"

Steinarius frowned at the Altmer's confession - and he frowned even more when a few more mages mentioned Agda's nightmares and her growing stiffness while dealing with other people.

"It's no wonder they call her Agda the Cold!", even the shy Drevis confessed one day.

After his conversations with all those mages, Steinarius started looking for any sign of weirdness on Agda's part. She'd actually turned a bit colder over the previous weeks, sure, but the Dragonborn blamed it entirely on the tortures she'd endured - and the same went for her nightmares.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Agda replied when the man finally found the guts to face that topic with her. She and Steinarius were alone in the dining hall and the young Archmage looked completely sincere. "I never have nightmares".

That very same night, however, Steinarius was awoken by a series of terrified screams coming from the library. Once there, the man discovered that Agda had fallen asleep while reading a book and had been roused by a few bad dreams. From then on the Dragonborn did his best to understand what was going on in his friend's mind. Was Agda hiding something from him or was she simply acting like someone who'd been through a lot?

In order to answer that question, Steinarius was determined to study the young Archmage and find a reason for her seemingly detached attitude - after all, he was sure that the girl would have no troubles opening up to him.

Unfortunately, it didn't take long for Steinarius to realize just how wrong he'd been in believing that.


	54. A matter of trust

**Author's Note:**

 **My dear readers, here is the usual weekly update for my story. Speaking of which, I have important news for you: from now on I may decide to publish new chapters just once every two weeks. After all, I think that quality is better than quantity - and I'm afraid I can't live up to my own expectations if I keep on updating this story as often as usual.**

 **That being said, let me thank you my loyal readers and reviewers. Although the number of updates may slow down in the upcoming weeks, fear not, Maz1X: I adored Kira' stories and I was very sad when she dropped them; as a consequence, I am keen on finishing this fanfic in order not to let down my readers (and myself). I adore Agda and Stein and I want to do them justice!**

 **As for Elspeth, your review brought the usual happy smile on my face. Stein and Agds are definitely two goofballs! Also, we'll see more of Agda's nightmares in this chapter.**

 **I really enjoyed kaibaeskyrim's questions (apropos, don't be shy: if any of you wants to know something about my story/characters/whatever, just ask away!) and I'm very interested in answering them. In this fic I plan on ending both the main and the civil war questlines, whereas I'll leave the other factions to a possible sequel. Agds will follow Stein's adventures from up-close, but she won't always be fighting by his side - after all, being the Archmage of Winterhold is a rather heavy task.**

 **Speaking of the questlines in Skyrim, I do agree with Valtieri: at the end of the Companions' and of the College's tasks, I felt as though everything had been way too hurried. I tried to change that in this fic, but I'm not sure I suceeded - in my opinion, Agda's journey "from zero to hero" felt a little bit rushed even if I tried to slow things down as much as possible. By the way, I'm really glad you liked my nickname for her! Also, I adore what you wrote: "Agda became the new Ice Queen of Winterhold. Now Stein must break the ice". It's such a good sentence!**

 **As far as this instalment is concerned, it was originally meant to be way much longer; yet, I had to split it in two parts in order to explore Agda's problems in the way I wanted. Our little mage is still recovering from all her troubles - and Stein is there to help her. Will he suceed in his task? Let's find out in this chapter (and in the next)!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **7th of Frostfall**

 _The main hall of the temple was completely empty. Frowning, Agda took a tentative step in the dimly-lit chamber, her ebony sword in one hand and a magic staff in the other. The young mage was tired and sore and sleepy, but most of all she was worried: although she didn't know what kind of dangers were lurking in the dark, her exploration of that ancient sanctuary had namely prepared her for the worst._

 _As Agda carefully walked towards the little shrine at the center of the hall, the only sounds to be heard were caused by her heavy boots._ _After casting a worried gaze all over the chamber, the mage eventually reached her destination. The shrine in the middle of that vaste place was beautifully engraved and hosted a dusty book on its top. The old tome was decorated with images that portayed a dragon and his faithful admirers._

 _Biting her lower lip in concentration, Agda grabbed the book and opened it slowly, carefully, almost lovingly: after years and years of efforts, she'd finally found something that could help retrieve her memories._

 _Nothing happened when the girl took hold of that tome - yet, a few seconds later, the ink of the book suddenly turned to blood, thus staining the hands of the young mage._ _With a surprised gasp, Agda tried to close the tome and abandon that cursed place. Much to her shock, she soon realized she couldn't move: magic vines had namely appeared around her legs, thus preventing her from leaving. A moment later, a blackish globe of light began floating in front of her._

 _"You have come to me once again", that unnatural being said with its slow and seductive voice. "Tell me, Agda of Anvil: why do you refuse my help, but keep on looking for my powers?"_

 _Despite that worrying situation, Agda's reply was very firm._

 _"I don't need any help from a Daedra", she snorted in disgust. "And the reasons behind my actions are mine and mine alone"._

 _The globe of light produced a sound that lied somewhere between a chuckle and a snort. A moment later, however, every trace of amusement fell from its voice._

 _"Such an arrogant woman!", the creature snorted. "I will offer you my help for the last time, mortal, then I will deal with you as I see fit. Yield to me and you will have everything you want: knowledge, power, memories. In return, I will only need your devotion"._

 _"And my soul", Agda scoffed. "A small price for the memories of just one night"._

 _"A small price indeed if compared to the powers I will grant you"._

 _Agda obstinately shook her head._

 _"You can torment me night after night, but I will never surrender. You have my memories? Keep them: I don't want them"._

 _This time the blackish globe of light burst into a creepy laughter._

 _"LIAR!", it shouted once that unexpected display of humor was over. "You have come here through ungodly perils and dangers, yet you pretend you do not want my powers. I will show you the errors in your way, mortal!"_

 _Agda made to reply, but right then a few more magic vines appeared around her arms and her face, thus preventing her from moving and from screaming. A moment later, an old acquaintance of hers walked into her visual field and caused the girl to whimper in fear. Ancano's eyes were fuming with hatred, whereas his lips were curled in a content smile. In his hands was the dagger he'd used to torture Agda and stab Steinarius._

 _"I bet you missed me", the Thalmor smirked._

 _A moment later, when the tip of his dagger found the corner of Agda's mouth, the girl closed her eyes and screamed with all the force she could muster. Only then did the young mage awaken from her nightmare - and as she found herself on the top of the tallest tower of the College, she buried her scarred face in her hands and broke into a desperate cry._

* * *

Steinarius carefully eyed Agda. The young mage was sitting at the desk of her room and was completely focused on the book she was reading. The light of the nearby candles underlined her scars and showed just how exhausted she was. Frowning, Steinarius wondered whether Agda was still having nightmares and whether the rumors regarding her were true. Did the Archmage really spend her nights on the roof of the College to prevent others from hearing her scream, or was it just one of the many unfounded legends that surrounded her? The Dragonborn really had no idea.

"Staring at people is very impolite".

Agda's voice snapped Steinarius out of his thoughts. The woman had stopped reading and was now scorching his face with her deep brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, Agds, I was thinking of something private", the Imperial sheepishly replied. "By the way, you look really good when you're so concentrated".

"Keep your compliments to yourself, Stein", the Archmage said. Her voice was surprisingly cold. "I know you were staring at my scars. Unfortunately, Drevis' ointment doesn't work in such a badly-lit environment, so you'll have to get used to seeing those marks. It's either that or you leave this room and don't come back until I'm done with my work".

Confronted with that harsh reply, Steinarius deadpanned. He couldn't understand why Agda was reacting so badly to his words.

"Agds, you know that I don't care about your scars", the Imperial pointed out with a confused frown. "I've got used to them and..."

"OF COURSE YOU'VE GOT USED TO THEM!", Agda unexpectedly broke him off with a shrill scream. All of a sudden the mage began yelling like an obsessed. "Everyone in this stupid town has got used to them, yet they can't stop staring at me when I walk down the street! You all think I'm dumb, don't you? You think I don't notice it when you..."

Steinarius stopped the woman with a gesture. Agda had become much snappier over the previous week, but the man had never seen her so angry - and to say it all, the Dragonborn found the unjustified rage of the young mage rather scary and worrying.

"Agda, you know it's not like that", the Imperial said with the firmest voice he could produce at the moment. "No one stares at your scars when they see you: it's just a feeling you..."

"Just a feeling?! Are you calling me crazy, Stein? Because if you are, I'd like to remind you that without my help..."

Sighing in exasperation, Steinarius closed his eyes and massaged his temples with his long fingers. Agda kept on screaming at him for what felt like a lifetime, but the man didn't listen to anything she said: right then he was focused on finding a way to calm down the young mage. Waiting for the right chance to explain the reasons behind his behavior, Steinarius allowed Agda to let off steam, then he cautiously resumed talking.

"I'm sorry for staring at you, Agds, and I'm even more sorry for annoying you", the Dragonborn said once the new Archmage of Winterhold eventually stopped shouting. The Dragonborn hoped that, now that she was done letting off steam, Agda could finally listen to him without losing her temper. "I wasn't staring at your scars: I was just trying to understand whether you're doing fine".

Agda scoffed.

"Of course I'm doing fine!", she ironically said. "Jarl Korir has written another angry letter to Ulfric, the Thalmor have formally complained about me to Elisif, the Synod has criticized me because I didn't do anything to help their expedition in Mzulft... Apart from these silly problems, however, I'm doing perfectly fine. Actually, I'd say that I've never felt better in my whole life!"

Steinarius shook his head at the sarcasm in Agda's words. He couldn't believe how much the girl had changed ever since she became the new Archmage of the College.

"I wasn't talking about the problems connected to your job", he pointed out. "I was talking about you, Agds. You would warn me if something were wrong, wouldn't you?"

Agda seemed confused by the concern she saw in Steinarius' grey eyes. Willing to prevent another outburst of rage on her side, the man was quick to resume talking.

"You don't need to answer my question: I just want you to know that you can count on me. I'll always be there for you, you just have to tell me what troubles you".

There was a moment of silence, then Agda sighed.

"Nothing troubles me", she stated while avoiding her friend's gaze. "By the way, I thank you for your concern. It is really moving".

Steinarius frowned at Agda's coldness. He made to ask her another question, but the mage was quick to break him off with a gesture.

"I mean it, Stein", she repeated. This time her tone was much softer, whereas her expression conveyed all her tiredness. "It's good to know that someone still cares about me".

As he listened to those words, Steinarius couldn't resist anymore: he shifted in his chair, then he draped an arm around Agda' shoulders and pressed a light kiss to the top of her head. He'd never seen her so weak and was keen on providing her with all the comfort she needed.

"You should take a break", he suggested while freeing the girl from his embrace and pointing at the many books on her desk. "For example, this afternoon we could go for a walk along the coast - and once we're back, we can go to the inn and have ourselves a steaming cup of hot cocoa. It sounds good, doesn't it?"

Steinarius smiled as he explained his plan for that afternoon. When Agda sighed, however, the man's expression immediately turned sad.

"I have too much to do, Stein", the young mage told him with a guilty look. "I'm afraid you'll have to take a walk on your own. Perhaps you could ask Onmund for company: he's quite a nice fellow".

When the girl got up from her chair and left the room, Steinarius sighed in defeat. He seemed unable to smash through the high walls Agda had built all around her.

* * *

Steinarius wasn't the only one who wanted Agda to take some time off work. The other mages from the College were namely as worried as him and soon decided they needed to do something to cheer their new boss up.

"Why don't we throw a surprise party at the tavern?", Drevis suggested one morning. "It will do Agda good to see that the people from Winterhold support her!"

Everyone agreed with the Dunmer's plan and immediately started preparing for the celebrations. Willing to make that party truly unforgettable, Steinarius wrote a letter to the Imperial Camp of the Rift: he knew how much Agda cared about Adaeze and wanted the Redguard to take part in the feast. Hopefully the presence of that weird woman would help Agda retrieve part of her cheerfulness.

Just like Steinarius, the people of Winterhold were keen on organizing a great party: they had noticed the great changes in Agda's personality too and wanted to show her all their love and affection and support. Only Korir protested against the celebrations, but no one paid him any mind: although many people in the small town openly supported the Stormcloaks, none of them could stand their paranoid Jarl.

The mages of the College tried hard to keep the party a secret from Agda. Luckily enough, their strategy was a success: completely focused on her job, the young mage didn't suspect anything until the night of the celebrations - and when she understood that her friends had thrown a special party just for her, it was already too late: spurred by Colette and Faralda's enthusiasm, the young Archmage could do nothing but sigh in exasperation and face the joyful smiles of her friends and colleagues.

* * *

While preparing himself for Agda's party, Steinarius nervously eyed himself in the mirror. The man had just shaved and was carefully studying the newly-formed scars on his torso. There was a weird line near his heart, right where Ancano had stabbed him; a bit lower, in the middle of his stomach, laid a long cut that reminded him of his battle against Miraak; on his arm there were the gashes left by the vampire who had stabbed him almost one year earlier, whereas his injured shoulder was still bluish and bruised. Luckily enough, the weird marks left by Hermaeus Mora's tentacles had disappeared both from his face and his back.

As Steinarius was reflecting about that fact, someone knocked on the door to his room. Agda walked in without waiting for a reply and blushed as soon as she realized that her friend was only partially dressed.

"I'm sorry", she blurted out, embarrassement well evident in her voice. "I just wanted to grab one of my dresses. I'll come back later".

Before the girl could leave, Steinarius stopped her.

"Agds, this is your room", he said with a smile. "You can come in whenever you want - after all, I'm only a host".

"A host that is currently half-naked", the Nord pointed out while raising an eyebrow.

"You act as though you've never seen me naked, Agds", Steinarius replied with a low chuckle. "There's no need to pretend: the scar on my back didn't disappear on its own, did it?"

When Agda blushed even more, Steinarius realized that she'd been the one to erase the scars that Hermaeus Mora had left on his face and his back.

"You saw me naked too, Stein", she sheepishly pointed out. "I guess that we're even".

Steinarius chuckled at the embarrassement in Agda's voice, then proceeded to put on the best shirt he had in his knapsack. Now that he was dressed, the Archmage walked up to one of the crates in her room and took hold of a beautiful grey dress.

"I like it", Steinarius commented the girl's choice. "I think it will look great on you".

"I can't wear it", Agda replied while shaking her head. "The neckline is too low".

Steinarius approached the young mage, then craned his neck to take a better look at the dress.

"I don't think it's a problem", he pointed out. "Some women would kill to have a cleavage like yours".

Agda rolled her eyes at that, then she proceeded to analyze all the other dresses in her crate. Unfortunately, in her opinion none of them fitted her anymore: one was too tight, the other one showed off too much skin, another one was sleeveless. Steinarius was quick to realize that all of Agda's problems were actually due to the fact that all those clothes weren't long enough to cover the scars on her arms, on her chest and on her neck.

"We could go shopping in Solitude", the man said in an attempt to cheer Agda up. "They have amazing dresses there".

The mage gave him a skeptical look.

"I didn't know you were an expert in women's clothes".

"I'm a man of many talents", the Dragonborn replied with a chuckle. Unfortunately, Agda didn't share his amusement.

"It's too late for me to travel to Solitude", she scoffed in annoyance. "That stupid party is tonight. You knew about it all along, didn't you?"

Slightly scared by the murderous light in Agda's eyes, Steinarius hesitated.

"Are you going to kill me if I tell you the truth?"

Agda sighed, then she sat down on a chair and took her head in her hands. Steinarius was quick to crouch beside her and lay a hand on her knee.

"Don't worry, Agds: we'll find something you can wear", he told her with his best reassuring tone. "It won't be difficult: you'd look great even in a fishing net, cutey pie".

When Agda didn't reply, Steinarius inwardly cursed: as well as scarring her face, Ancano had seemingly destroyed her self-esteem once and for all; yet, the Imperial was keen on finding a solution to all the problems of that lovely girl. After all she'd suffered, Agda namely needed to spend a good evening with her friends - and Steinarius was ready to go miles to give her the wonderful party she so clearly deserved.

* * *

Luckily enough, the mages from the College were quick to solve the problems related to Agda's wardrobe. Prompted by Steinarius, Enthir namely provided the girl with a beautiful blue dress that underlined her figure without showing off too much of her skin. Moreover, Sergius Turranius - son of a wealthy tailor from Skingrad - was quick to attach long sleeves to that garment, so that Agda could use them to hide the scars on her arms. Confronted with that special dress, the Archmage finally found the confidence to take part in the celebrations.

That night the _Frozen Hearth Inn_ was full of people - and when Agda walked in, all of them burst into a loud applause. Confronted with the girl's embarrassement, Steinarius realized he had probably looked just like that when Jarl Balgruuf had named him Thane of Whiterun and organized huge celebrations in his honor - unlike Agda, however, the Dragonborn had avoided that torture by escaping Whiterun through an hidden exit.

Despite her embarrassement, at first Agda seemed to enjoy that little feast. When Steinarius walked up to her with a glass of brandy and asked her to dance, however, the girl immediately turned down his offer.

"I didn't know you liked dancing", Agda frowned when Steinarius insisted.

"I like dancing with you", the Imperial shrugged. When Agda didn't reply, Steinarius sighed: there was no way he could talk the girl into dancing with him.

Over the following hours, the Dragonborn was asked to dance by many different women. Faralda, Nirya, even Colette, all of them seemed keen on making sure he wouldn't get bored. Steinarius wasn't a great dancer, but that night he decided to ignore his clumsiness and have some fun for the first time since he'd slain Miraak - and for the first time in such a long time, that party allowed him to forget all of his problems. Steinarius was safe, his body was healthy, his stomach was full and he wasn't risking his life to save the world; but most of all, the man thought, he finally was in the same room as Agda.

Earlier that night, while looking at his scars, Steinarius had thought about his relationship with the young Nord. That young innkeeper had first caught his attention because of her weird story - and later, after he'd tried to kill her, Steinarius had spent a lot of time with her because he was keen on making up for his mistakes. Slowly but steadily, however, the Dragonborn had been fascinated by Agda' sweetness, by her calmness, by her enthusiasm towards life - and when she'd helped him forget about Vigdis, he'd decided to give himself a chance to be happy together with that beautiful sweet girl. Back then Steinarius had felt very intrigued by Agda, but his feelings hadn't been strong enough to prevent him from ignoring the little flaws in their relationship. As he looked at her that night, however, the Dragonborn realized that he'd hopelessly fallen in love with that complicated mage.

When Birna asked him for a second dance, Steinarius decided to turn down her offer. Rather than finding himself another partner, the Imperial walked up to Agda and took a good look at her. The girl was stunning in her new blue dress, but her eyes were full of sadness anyway. As he noticed that, Steinarius ardently wished he could make all her problems disappear.

"You're having a lot of fun", Agda said when the Imperial finally approached her. She was smiling, but Steinarius noticed she wasn't really enjoying herself. "Be careful when you go out, though: your black shirt is so sweated that you'll get a cold".

Steinarius was moved by Agda's concern.

"I'm a werewolf", he reminded her after leaning towards her so that he could whisper in her ears. "And then, I won't go out for a while: first I want to dance with you at least once, Agda".

Confronted with those words, the mage was quick to shake her head in horror.

"Stein, there's no way I'm going to dance", she told the Imperial. "Don't press me, okay? I just don't feel like it".

Steinarius frowned at the panick in Agda's voice.

"What's the problem, Agds?", he gently asked her. "Are you hurt?", he enquired further. "Or do your boots hurt? Would you rather dance with someone else? I can fetch you Onmund if you want: he's quite a nice boy and..."

"I don't want to dance with anyone at all, Stein", Agda broke the man off. "I just... I don't want to stand in the spotlight", she eventually confessed.

Much to Agda's confusion, Steinarius' face lit up when he heard those words: he'd namely understood why the girl didn't want to dance. The lights in the middle of the tavern were namely very strong, therefore the mage was afraid they would underline the scars on her face.

Willing to find a solution to that problem, Steinarius grabbed Agda's glass of wine and laid it on a nearby table. A moment later he draped his right arm around her waist and took hold of one of her hands. Only then did he begin moving back and forth in a very goofish way.

Shocked by that behavior, Agda raised one of her eyebrows.

"Stein, what..."

"I'm dancing", the man replied with a very serious expression. "And like it or not, you're dancing with me until the end of this song".

"But we're completely out of time!", the mage protested. "And then, this tune is about to end!"

"I'll sing a song myself then", Stein replied without flinching. A moment later, the man cleared his throat and began singing. " _There once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Roriksteeeeead..._ "

There was a moment of astonished silence during which Steinarius thought Agda was about to hurt him with a fireball. Then, however, the mage broke into a loud laughter.

"You really are incredible", she commented with a chuckle.

"The one and only Dragonborn, at your service", Steinarius cheekily replied. "I am incredible indeed".

Agda chuckled again and Steinarius took advantage of that moment to tighten his grip on her and lay his forehead against hers.

"I want you to be happy, Agds", he whispered against her skin. "You deserve it".

Agda didn't say anything: she just laid her free hand on Steinarius' chest, then she closed her eyes and relaxed against him.

For once in the last few weeks, she could finally forget about everything she'd endured.


	55. Friends will be friends

**Author's Note:**

 **Ladies and gentlemen, here's the newest chapter from my story.** **Like MeanE pointed out, in the last instalment I really laid down the fluff - and I will continue to do so in this update. Stein will namely keep on his sweet behavior with Agda - and to Elspeth's joy, that will help the girl feel better. Moreover, like Valtieri correctly underlined, in this chapter we will slowly abandon the College questline and thread into new, (hopefully) exciting waters.**

 **As usual, I thank all my readers and reviewers for their help and their support - and to answer kaibaeskyrim's question, I formally inform you that the updates for this story are very likely to be published in the weekend (on Sundays or Saturdays). This chapter, however, comes at a rather weird moment because of a rather simple reason: I'm off for two weeks of holiday and I fear I may not have enough time to update this story. Don't worry, though: I'll soon be back with the rest of Agda and Stein's adventures - and I can assure you that the next chapter will be rather interesting, as it will feature a NPC that has always fascinated me to no end. While waiting for that, however, here's the last product of my imagination: enjoy and have a lovely weekend!**

* * *

As she laid her head on Steinarius' chest, Agda closed her eyes and sighed in content. When the Imperial tightened his grip on her and laid a gentle kiss on the top of her head, however, the young mage had to stifle an annoyed snort. There were dozens of people in the inn and Agda was trying hard to pass unnoticed; yet, Steinarius' ministrations were very likely to draw the attention of the whole population of Winterhold - and in her current situation, Agda didn't need to add the rumours of a romance with the Dragonborn to her already impressive list of worries.

Even after the Archmage whimpered in annoyance, Steinarius kept on gently stroking her back. Willing to put an end to that situation, Agda raised her head from his chest and made to pull away from him. Yet, when Steinarius gave her a worried look, the woman realized that she couldn't bring herself to abandon the warmth of his arms.

"Agds, what's wrong?", the man whispered, apprehension and sweetness and concern well present in his voice. "Are you tired?"

Sighing in defeat, Agda shook her head and buried her face in the crook of the Imperial' neck.

"I'm alright", she lied. "I just wanted to change position".

Steinarius visibly relaxed as he heard these words: he smiled, then he started stroking Agda's back once again. When the girl opened her eyes and realized that a few mages were observing her, however, she sighed for the umpteenth time.

Steinarius' suspicions were correct: she was tired, completely and utterly tired - tired of being at the center of attention, tired of dealing with her tasks, tired of his worries about her; but most of all, Agda was tired of pretending she was fine.

Ever since the young mage had regained consciousness, her fellow mages had been quick to lay thousands of responsibilities on her frail shoulders. Faralda and Colette often enquired about her health, sure, but they never managed to see past the show Agda put on every day in order to hide her sufferance from them. Everyone in Winterhold believed her to be fine, but she wasn't - and the only one who suspected something was Steinarius.

Agda was amazed by the change the Dragonborn had gone through over the previous few days: the troubled man she'd fallen in love with was now showing a new, softer side, a side he'd probably buried after Vigdis abandoned him. Steinarius was incredibly sweet and always tried to make Agda laugh with his jokes, with his compliments, even with his behavior - and the way he was goofily dancing with her right then was the best proof of it. Moreover, the usually tactless Imperial had often tried to bring the young mage to talk to him about Ancano, about her scars, about her job, even about her nightmares. Yet, although she appreciated his efforts, Agda had the feeling that she couldn't utterly trust Steinarius. A mighty warrior and lethal soldier, in her opinion the Dragonborn couldn't understand what she'd been through; also, he'd already hurt her on many occasions - and in Agda's opinion, his efforts in cheering her up couldn't change the worst sides of his personality; on top of that, Steinarius was soon meant to leave Winterhold in order to try and defeat the Nordic God of Destruction - and after everything she'd experienced, Agda knew better than getting entangled with a man who was likely to die in few weeks time. That's why, when he asked her for the upmteenth time whether she was fine, the Archmage simply nodded and let Steinarius believe that his sweetness was enough to make her forget her past.

After all, if they were part soon, the girl wanted her friend to leave Winterhold without worries.

* * *

When Agda told him that she was fine, Steinarius fondly smiled. The man was feeling as light as a feather: he was warm and safe, the tavern was full of people who considered him a hero, Agda was resting in his arms. Unfortunately for the Dragonborn, that moment of unexpected bliss wasn't meant to last.

When the door to the inn burst open, everyone turned their heads. Upon seeing two strangers enter the hall, nobody spoke. Yet, when one of the newcomers shed her hood to reveal a mane of shiny black hair and a pair of beautiful hazel eyes, all the guards of Winterhold burst into a loud applause.

"Adaeze, I knew you were alive!", Herius, their leader, screamed from the top of his lungs. The Imperial was visibly drunk and seemed keen on expressing his joy at meeting his colleague. "We missed you so much!"

Adaeze smiled, but Steinarius could see that she was still recovering from her injury: her face was namely paler than usual, whereas her movements were slow and careful.

The Redguard greeted her colleagues, then she cast a glance across the room. When her eyes found Agda's, the two women remained still for a moment; then, the young mage abandoned Steinarius' embrace and enveloped her best friend in a tight hug. Despite the pain in her abdomen, Adaeze didn't protest.

"Be careful, you two", the man who had walked inside the inn together with the beautiful Redguard chuckled. "You'll end up hurting each other".

As that bearded Nord spoke, Agda freed Adaeze from her hug and pulled a rather shocked expression.

She'd just recognized that gruff soldier.

"HADVAR?", the mage asked, disbelief well evident in her voice.

The man chuckled, then he nodded.

"At your service, Agda", he solemnly stated, a hint of playfulness in his brown eyes. "And of course, I'm at the service of my former captain too", Hadvar added as soon as he noticed Steinarius.

Before the young soldier and the Dragonborn could shake hands, Adaeze surprised them by enveloping them in a tight hug.

"My favourite boys from the Legion!", the Redguard sighed in content. "Without you, I would have already died twice! Here, let me thank you both at the same time!"

As they remembered the way they'd rescued Adaeze in Helgen, Steinarius and Hadvar exchanged a quick glance. Luckily for them, Agda was quick to ask the innkeeper for a private room, thus causing Adaeze to release the men from her hug and to follow the young mage to the other side of the tavern.

Once the four friends took seat in that comfortable retreat, Agda was quick to enquire about Adaeze's latest adventures. The young mage hadn't seen the Redguard in a while and was absolutely delighted by her presence in Winterhold.

Prompted by Agda's questions, Adaeze was quick to recount her recent fight against death. She asked the innkeeper for a tankard of ale, whereas the mage ordered the usual bottle of brandy. Beside the two women, Hadvar and Steinarius were both curious to find out more about the events that had taken place since their last meeting.

"I was consciousless for a whole week after that thief stabbed me", Adaeze said after the innkeeper finally brought her ale. "Luckily enough, Hadvar never left my bedside for the whole time. Moreover, one evening he disobeyed his orders and took me to see a priest of Mara - and by doing so, he saved my life. Had it not been for him..."

When Adaeze trailed off, her eyes were briefly shadowed by fear and worry. Upon noticing her distress, Hadvar was quick to lay a hand on her arm and give it a gentle squeeze - and the Redguard replied by casting him an adoring glance. While observing that scene, both Agda and Steinarius noticed the loving look in Hadvar's brown eyes, the tenderness with which he was squeezing Adaeze's arm, the way the two warriors seemed to revel in each other's company. Nor the Dragonborn nor the Archmage knew what to make of that.

"Are you two...", Steinarius began while pointing at Hadvar and Adaeze. The warriors looked tired because of the long journey to Winterhold, but they also seemed overjoyed because of their proximity to each other.

"Hadvar is my rescuer and my guide", Adaeze replied before Steinarius could end his question. "And I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the whole wide world".

The soldier blushed at that, a fact that caused Agda and Steinarius to frown. Was Adaeze taking advantage of the man' sweetness or was she actually serious about her relationship with him?

Before either of them could pose that delicate question, Adaeze swayed their attention by asking them what happened to Ancano.

"I hope he died a horrible death!", the Redguard stated. "Steinarius told me what he did to you, Agda", she added while giving the young mage a long, meaningful look. "That bastard is the foulest creature ever".

Hadvar sternly nodded, whereas Agda lowered her gaze. Steinarius, on the other hand, inwardly cursed: right when Agda seemed to be doing better, there came Adaeze with her curiosity - and to make things even worse, the Redguard soon asked her friend to show her her new scars.

"Come on, it's not the first time I see some old gashes!", Adaeze encouraged a rather shy Agda. "And then, I'm sure they won't be worse than the ones good old Dirge has all over his body".

Hadvar asked who Dirge was, whereas Steinarius focused his attention on Agda. Somehow, he had the feeling that her evening was about to take a turn for the worst.

* * *

"You don't have to do this".

When Steinarius spoke, Adaeze frowned. For the previous fifteen minutes she, the Imperial and Hadvar had been showing each other their brand new scars. In particular, Adaeze had already asked everyone to take a good look at the deep gash in her stomach, whereas Steinarius had briefly unbuttoned his shirt in order to display the way Ancano had barely missed his heart with his dagger. Hadvar had replied by showing everyone a cut that had almost torn his arm away from his body, while Agda hadn't said anything at all for the whole time. Now, however, it was her turn to show her new scars.

"Don't be silly, Steinarius", Adaeze commented when confronted with the man' worry for Agda. "I don't see why she shouldn't allow us to see her scars. Our girl knows that she's among friends and she also knows there's nothing to fear!"

 _Agda shouldn't show you her scars because she still hasn't got used to them_ , the Dragonborn made to reply. _Also, she thinks they make her look ugly. Oh, and don't forget that you, Adaeze, can be rather blunt at the least appropriate moment - and right now my girl needs someone calm and sweet and soothing, not someone who will tell her how horrible she looks now that her face has been disfigured_.

By the time Steinarius managed to force those thoughts into a coherent sentence, however, it was already too late: with a sigh, Agda had washed away the ointment that hid her scars from sight - and when she turned to look Hadvar and Adaeze in the eyes, Steinarius could clearly see how much the Archmage feared their reaction.

Confronted with the ugly scars on Agda's face, the two warriors were silent for a long moment. Surprisingly enough, it was Hadvar who broke the silence: the soldier produced a low hiss, then he frowned.

"That bastard...", was all he managed to utter.

The young Nord had never seen anything like that: the skin along Agda' scars was red and raw, whereas beneath them it was bluish and bruised. The cuts covered all of the mage's face and traced complex patterns across her chin, her nose, her forehead, even her lips. Two particularly ugly gashes began at the corner of her mouth, ran throughout her cheeks and joined together in the middle of her forehead - and in that way, it was almost impossible to look Agda in the eyes without paying attention to that horrible scar.

Even after Hadvar broke the silence, Adaeze seemed unable to speak. The Redguard had covered her mouth with her hands and looked shocked and sad and mortified because of her friend's injuries.

"My God, Agds... I've never seen such nasty scars!", she squeaked when she finally found her voice. Steinarius was slightly relieved by those words: after all, he'd feared the Redguard to say much worse. Unfortunately, when Adaeze spoke next, the Imperial realized he'd rejoiced too early. "Your scars, they're... they're awful, Agdy! How... how will you manage to have a normal life with such a badly disfigured face?"

Adaeze's question was followed by a moment of tense silence. Steinarius felt his eyes slowly become golden and was very surprised when Agda produced a tiny smile.

"I wonder about that too", the girl admitted. "My mum still doesn't know about my scars, otherwishe she'd have a nervous breakdown - with such a badly disfigured face, finding a suitable husband for her already weird daughter will become even more complicated".

There was another moment of silence during which Adaeze seemed to believe that Agda was kidding. When the mage raised her eyes to the ceiling as if to force her tears to retreat into the back of her eyes, however, the Redguard realized the mistake she'd just made.

"Agda, I'm so, _so_ sorry!", she cried out. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay", Agda broke her friend off. Her watery eyes contrasted with her smile. "After all, it's good to see that there is someone who still talks straight to my scarred face. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

When Agda hastily went for the door, Adaeze tried to grab her by the elbow. Hadvar, however, was quick to stop her.

Unlike the woman, Steinarius didn't try to block Agda: he allowed her to leave the inn, then he abandoned the tavern and started looking for her. Unfortunately, it wasn't an easy task: every person inside the tavern had seen the Archmage storm out of the "Frozen Hearth" with tears streaming down her face - and before he could finally reach her, the Dragonborn was forced to tell everyone the reason for her distress. In that way, the wall of lies the young Nord had carefully built around her crumbled to the ground in less than a heartbeat.

* * *

It took Steinarius a few minutes to finally locate Agda. The mage had cast many spells to hide her traces, but magic couldn't deceit a werewolf - and when the Dragonborn heard a frantic heartbeat coming from one of the abandoned houses of Winterhold, he immediately realized he'd found Agda' shelter.

Steinarius approached the small building, then he made to enter. Unsurprisingly, his friend had locked the front door with a spell.

"Agds, let me in", the Imperial kindly said. The mage didn't reply, a fact that caused him to let out an exasperated sigh. "Cutey pie, I'm alone", he added. "Adaeze and her babbling mouth are at the inn. By the way, she's very sorry for being so mean to you".

Steinarius patiently waited for a response, but Agda seemed determined to ignore him. Sighing again, the Dragonborn wearily laid his head against the wooden wall of the dismissed house.

"Agds, you know that I could shout open this door in no time", he reminded the young mage. "Yet, I'm really in no mood to receive an angry letter from the Greybeards. Please, cutey pie: don't make this worse than it already is".

For a long moment Steinarius believed that Agda was still ignoring him. As a consequence, when the door to the dismissed house slowly creaked open, the man almost couldn't believe his eyes.

Walking on his tiptoes, the Dragonborn slowly entered the building, which was actually nothing more than a ruin: it had no roof and no windows, therefore the snow and the cold wind of Skyrim could blow through it without any problem. Sitting on the ground of what had probably been the main hall of the house, Agda was warming her hands with the help of a little fire.

"You've come here to pity me, haven't you?"

When Agda spoke, Steinarius was surprised by her depressed tone, by her sadness, by the way she couldn't bring herself to look at him. The man slowly sat down beside her, then he shook his head.

"No, Agds: I've come here because I want you to feel better".

"Really?", the mage scoffed. "And why would I feel better with you around rather than on my own?"

"You've already tried facing the aftermath of Ancano's death on your own", Steinarius replied. He wanted to speak his mind about Agda's difficult situation, therefore he went straight to the point. "Unfortunately, that didn't get you far. That's why I'm here: because I think that ou could use someone like me". When Agda made to object, the Dragonborn stopped her with a gesture. "Agds, I'm not going to tell you what you need to do to feel better", he gently explained her. "I'm not going to tell you that, because I honestly have no idea as to what you should do to forget Ancano and your problems. Nonetheless, I want to stay by you and help you, Agds: if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to insult, or someone to talk to, just know I'm here".

When Agda shook her head, Steinarius was surprisingly relieved - judging from her blank expression from earlier, he actually hadn't expected the girl to pay him any attention.

"You have no idea what I'm going through, Steinarius, you really don't", the young mage whispered. "And that's why you cannot help me. No one can".

"If you tell me, I may be able to guess how you're feeling", the Imperial replied. "I'm not saying I will understand what you've been through: I'm just saying that, if you told me how you feel, then it'd be easier for me to realize what's going on and provide with the support you need".

When Agda shook her head again, Steinarius had to stifle a curse: in that moment he hated himself for his poor speech skills.

"I want to help you, Agds, I really do", he repeated, his desire to aid the poor girl well evident in his voice. "Just tell me how. I know quite a lot about pain and..."

"You know nothing about pain, Stein", the young mage broke him off with a humorless chuckle. "You have some scars, sure, but to you they are just glorious memories of old battles and victories. My scars, on the other hand, will always remind me of my sufferance and my humiliation. You don't know what Ancano did to me and you don't know how it feels to be tied to a table in a damp room that smells of death, with blood dripping down your spine and the hands of your torturer on your..."

When Agda trailed off and bit her lip in order to block the tears, Steinarius carefully laid a hand on her arm. Frida had informed him of the way Ancano had raped the poor girl, but the young mage had always avoided that topic.

"Every time I look myself in the mirror, I feel his hands on my body once again", Agda whispered once she regained her calm. She was shivering and her eyes were once again full of tears. "I feel his dagger cutting through my skin and my flesh, then I feel his whip leaving angry marks all over my spine and my chest and my stomach - and once I'm done feeling that, I relive the way he used me. Also, when I'm done feeling sorry for myself, I also feel sorry for Ranmir, Mirabelle and all the other people Ancano killed. Had I not played the brave little woman and ventured in the Midden on my own..."

When Agda felt a lump in her throat, she immediately stopped talking. Before she could realize it, heavy tears were streaming down her cheeks and violent sobs were wracking her shoulders.

"I can't do it, Stein", she said between the tears. "I can't forget about this and..."

When the girl trailed off again, the Dragonborn couldn't resist anymore: he took her in his arms, then he began stroking her back and kissing her cheeks. Steinarius allowed Agda to soak his chest with her tears, to grip his shirt with her hands, to say incoherent sentences against his neck, all while fighting the urge to shush her - that sweet girl had finally opened up to him and there was no way he would stop her from revealing him all of her pain.

"It's over, Agda, it's over", the Imperial gently whispered in her ears. "You're safe now and..."

"I'm not safe", the mage immediately replied. "I may be safe from pain when I'm awake, sure, but when I'm sleeping..."

When the girl sighed, Steinarius hugged her even tighter.

"Of all people, you should know that I'm an expert when it comes to nightmares", he told her with a cautious smile.

Agda hesitated for a brief second, then she finally told Steinarius about her bad dreams. Now that the man had broken through her walls, she seemed able to stop talking.

"Ever since I woke up in Dawnstar after being tortured, I have the same nightmare over and over again", the mage explained. "I'm in a remote place and I feel as though I'm looking for something. When I find it, a black globe of lights appears in front of me and orders me to surrender. It has a slow and seductive voice and it tells me that it's the only creature in Nirn who can give me what I desire. Sometimes... sometimes the globe mentions your name too. Also, on a few occasions you were with me in my nightmare and the creature said it already owns you".

As soon as he heard those words, Steinarius realized that he already knew what Agda was talking about.

"Agda, those nightmares... Are you sure that they began after you were tortured? Because I often have them too - and they began when I first reached Solstheim".

The young mage seemed confused by that revelation. Spurred by Steinarius' words, Agda slowly remembered many of the weird dreams she had after first joining the College - dreams of a strange creature that would swear to enslave her and the Dragonborn, that would laugh when confronted with their sufferance, that would hurt the man whenever it could.

Steinarius needed just one second to realize what the answer to his question was.

"Agds, the globe of light you see in your nightmares is actually a Daedra", he sternly explained the girl. "It's Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Lord of Knowledge. I met him while in Solstheim - and in order to kill Miraak, I had to become his Champion. That's why it says it already owns me".

Agda seemed completely shocked by the news: she opened her mouth to speak, then she seemingly changed her mind. When she tried to pull away from him, however, Steinarius kindly stopped her.

"Agds, I'm not going to hurt you", he reassured the girl. "Hermaeus Mora may have my soul, but he has no power over my actions".

Agda frowned at those words.

"Your soul? How... But then... if something should happen to you..."

"Imperials don't go to Sovngarde anyway", Steinarius told her with a sad smile. "I guess that when my time comes, the choice will be between Apocrypha and the Hunting Grounds".

"But how..."

With a sigh, Steinarius started recounting some of his adventures in Solstheim. He'd never had the chance to talk about them to anyone and he soon realized that he enjoyed reliving some of the experiences he'd had on the weird island. Unfortunately, the frequent mentions of Miraak and Hermaeus Mora soon caused Agda's face to be fixed into a permanent frown.

"Hermaeus Mora is also the Lord of Memory", the mage said after Steinarius explained her how he'd dispatched the First Dragonborn at the end of a heated fight. Only then did the man realize that she hadn't actually paid a lot of attention to the rest of his tales. "I think that's why I keep dreaming of him: ever since I woke up in Dawnstar, I've been obsessed by the way my memory was erased. Not even Vaermina's Torpor could help me understand what happened after Ancano dumped me in the ocean and that is something really weird".

Steinarius didn't say anything when Agda stopped talking. He'd often thought about her missing memories too, but he wasn't worried by them at all.

"Agds, if I must tell you the truth, I think nothing happened after Ancano dumped you in the ocean", he confessed to the young girl. "Someone probably found your body and brought you to Erandur, that's it. After all, two or three hours aren't enough to change one's life".

"Sometimes it takes just one second to change one's life", Agda sternly replied. Her deep fornw showed that she didn't agree at all with Steinarius' words. "Think of all the people who go hunting and mistakenly shoot an arrow at their partners: in those cases, a minute changes their lives once and for all".

Confronted with that objection, Steinarius had to admit that Agda was right.

"I didn't express my thoughts well", he said after telling the young mage that he agreed with her. "A minute can be very important, sure, but I believe nothing important happened after you were dumped in the ocean by Ancano. You were doing too bad for anything to happen, Agds".

"But then why did someone erase my memory?", the mage asked. Steinarius didn't miss the slight despair in her voice.

"Maybe they were criminals and they didn't want you to remember their faces", the Imperial answered with a shrug. "Maybe they feared you would accuse them of hurting you - or maybe it was Ancano who erased your memory".

When Agda furrowed her brow, Steinarius realized that he hadn't convinced her. Yet, the Imperial was keen on changing topic of conversation.

"Agds, stop worrying about that night", he gently suggested her. "Ancano is dead, you are alive: you're the winner and you don't need anything from anyone - not from me, not from Jarl Korir and all those who harass you, certainly not from Hermaeus Mora. You're an amazing woman and you shouldn't allow a pointy-eared bastard to destroy your life, or your happiness, or your confidence".

As he stopped talking, Steinarius carefully looked Agda in the eyes. The woman listened to him with great attention, then she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Stein", she whispered. "I mean it. Damn, I wish we'd had this talk sooner".

Steinarius chuckled at that, then he proceeded to leave a kiss on Agda's cheek.

"No need to thank me, cutey pie: you cheer me up when I'm down, I do the same for you. Deal?"

When the girl nodded, Steinarius couldn't stifle a satisfied smile. They remained in the dismissed house for the rest of the evening and the Dragonborn was simply overjoyed by the interest Agda showed for his adventures in Solstheim.

"You should see Neloth's village, Agds", he told the girl after describing her one of the many weird aspects of that exotic island. "That weirdo lives in a mushroom! And then there are the rieklings: little nasty things that I first mistook for pets. Netches, on the other hand, look rather threatening but are actually harmless. You should definitely visit that place if you get the chance: it's amazing".

When Agda smiled at his enthusiasm, Steinarius felt a wave of relief wash over him: thanks to his tales, the girl had finally forgotten her worries.

"You probably found a new lover in Solstheim, didn't you? A handsome man like you..."

The Dragonborn was taken aback by that question - and he was even more surprised by the mischievous light in Agda's eyes.

"Not really, Agds", he said. The Imperial was sure that his face had just become as red as a tomato. "I mean, Teldryn Sero probably had a thing on me, but while in Solstheim I could only think of Miraak and Hermaeus Mora. I didn't have the time to look for a new woman - and even if presented with the chance, I wouldn't have slept with anyone anyway. Back then we'd just broken up, so I was still thinking about that".

Agda nodded, then she produced a mysterious, distant smile.

"I know", she told the Dragonborn. "And I also know that you probably blamed for being a whiner and causing you to lose your temper".

Taken aback by that accusation, Steinarius frowned.

"Agds, I don't..."

Confronted with the man's terrified expression, the young mage let out a tiny laughter.

"I was kidding", she told him. A moment later, Agda buried her face in Steinarius' chest and hugged him tight. "Thank you for everything, Stein: I really mean it".

A moment later, when the girl kissed him lightly on the cheek, the Dragonborn couldn't resist anymore: he cupped her cheeks in his hands, then he proceeded to pepper her face with caresses and kisses - he kissed her forehead, her temples, her nose, her chin, even her jaw. When he reached her lips, however, Steinarius stopped: he lingered above them for a while, thus allowing his breath to tickle Agda's skin and permitting the young mage to decide whether to kiss him or not. The girl sighed in content and closed her eyes, but she didn't cover the distance that separated her from Steinarius - and when she pulled away from their hug, the Dragonborn let her without protests.

As an Imperial, he was used to showing his feelings through physical contact - and if Agda wasn't ready to reciprocate them, it wasn't a problem. After all, for the Dragonborn the most important thing was to know that she was happy and safe and serene.

* * *

It was well past midnight when the two friends walked back to the College. Agda had long stopped crying and was wrapped in Steinarius' warm cloak. The Dragonborn kept a hand on her back and was quietly telling her about the most impressive Shouts he'd learned in Solstheim. When they eventually reached the main hall of the school, however, the two friends had to stop.

"Looks like we've reached our destination", Agda said at that moment. She'd recently regained possession of the Archmage Offices, so that Steinarius now slept in the Hall of Elements with the teachers and the students.

"So it seems", the Imperial confirmed.

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius carefully eyed Agda. The girl looked much better than she had over the few previous weeks, but the Imperial didn't want to leave her alone: had it depended on him, he would have gladly spent the night by her side so that she could rest in his arms and forget once and for all about her problems. The Archmage of Winterhold, however, was much tougher than she seemed.

"I think I'll go to bed then", she announced with a tired yawn. "It's been a long evening".

As he nodded, Steinarius still hoped the girl would ask him to join her. A moment later, however, his hopes were brutally crushed.

"I'll see you in the morning, then", Agda said with a tiny smile.

Steinarius wished the girl good night despite his disappointment. He made to retreat into his room, but he was taken aback when the mage unexpectedly hugged him.

"Thank you", she repeated for the thousandth time in just one evening.

Steinarius smiled, then he freed himself from her embrace.

"If you need me, I'll be in the next room", he told her.

When Agda nodded and headed for her room, Steinarius watched her leave and sighed. His lil' innkeeper had become a strong woman who didn't need his help anymore - and deep in his heart, the Dragonborn was sure that the young mage would soon defeat all the scary ghosts from her past and finally retrieve the cheerfulness, the sweetness and the happiness he'd learned to love over the previous year.


	56. Point of difference

**Author's note:**

 **After enjoying my holidays, here I am with a new update for all my amazing readers. Speaking of which, I thank all the reviewers who expressed their opinions about Steinarius' new nickname for Agda. I was looking for something funny and original (on the line of Arnbjorn's "tidbit" for the new recruits of the DB), but my "creation" actually stood out too much. Thank you for letting me know, kaibaeskyrim and the others: it's always a pleasure to receive constructive criticism; also, this kind of suggestions do help me become a better writer, so keep them coming!**

 **As for Elspeth's reviews, I'm glad you underlined that Stein is giving Agda time. He's a goofball, but he tries his best to act as sweetly as he can! Also, Herma-Mora will play a huge role in his future and I honestly can't wait to write that part of the story.**

 **As for Maz1X, worry not for the delay in your reviews: I know a thing or two about bad WiFi during the holidays! Also, I hope you had a great time in Canada.**

 **On to Kokkini/Valtieri, I must confess that I adore your new username. It sounds funny and exotic at the same time! Also, I'm very glad you enjoyed Agda' speech about her scars.**

 **As for kaibaeskyrim, thank you once again for your remarks. Also, worry not: Stein will have many other chances to kiss Agda - and one day she may even decide to stop avoiding him.**

 **On to my latest update, today I present you with a build-up chapter that will help me connect the College questline to the future instalment.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **17th of Frostfall, 4E 202**

After her late-night talk with Steinarius, Agda started feeling much better. Nightmares still plagued her sleep and scars still marred her body, sure, but the Archmage now knew she had someone to count on, someone she could speak to, someone who would take her in their arms and soothe her every time she felt particularly distressed - and for that, the young woman was extremely grateful.

Steinarius immediately noticed the change in Agda's attitude. After their heart-to-heart the Nord would smile more often, laugh more often, hang out with her colleagues more often - and on a few glorious occasions, she even walked through Winterhold without hiding her scars. Despite that improvement, however, the Dragonborn knew that the girl's road to recovery was still very long - and the black halos Agda often had around her eyes definitely proved him right.

When her colleagues asked her about those marks, the young Archmage would dismiss their worries with a shrug and a weak smile; once alone with Steinarius, however, Agda told him everything about her bad dreams, about her missing memories, about the problems she still had with her self-esteem. The Dragonborn listened to her carefully, lovingly, with all the attention and the sweetness he could muster - and every time Agda thanked him for his support, the Imperial felt his heart swell with joy.

Over the course of the previous weeks Steinarius had discovered that he really cared about Agda. Actually, not only did he care about her: deep in his heart, the Dragonborn knew that he loved that little mage, that he loved her brown eyes, that he loved her weird mixture of timidness and stubborness and fierceness. Droven by his feelings, the Imperial would have liked to stay by Agda' side until she was finally healed, he would have liked to help her along the difficult path she had to face as the new Archmage of Winterhold, he would have liked to confess her that he couldn't imagine a life without her; yet, his role as the savior of the world didn't allow him to do any of that. Steinarius had already tried to combine his love life with his calling as the Dragonborn, but the result had been a total fiasco that had almost caused him to lose Agda once and for all. That's why, despite his growing feelings, the Imperial had no wish to tell that sweet woman about his love - Agda had already been through a lot, and Steinarius didn't want to make her suffer again.

Although the Dragonborn was trying to hide them, Agda wasn't oblivious of the feelings he nourished for her. She'd noticed the way his eyes affectionately scanned her face when he thought she wasn't looking, she'd noticed the way he tensed every time Adaeze spoke to her, she'd noticed the way he made sure she had everything she needed in her office, in her bedroom, even in her personal larder; moreover, she'd noticed the way Steinarius had almost kissed on that long night, when she'd finally found the confidence to open up to him and let him help her with her sufferance. Yet, Agda still didn't feel like reciprocating those feelings: she cared about Steinarius, she really did, but a self-preserving mechanism hidden in the depths of her mind prevented her from resuming her relationship with him. The Imperial was sweet and kind and gentle, but he could also be stubborn, tactless and downright annoying; also, in few days time he was meant to leave for High Hrotgar and finally face his destiny as the Dragonborn - and in her frail conditions, Agda had no wish to get involved with a man who was about to face death in an attempt to save the world from destruction.

* * *

While recovering from the aftermath of the battle against Ancano, Steinarius spent a couple of weeks in Winterhold. Over that amount of time the man supported Agda with her new job, helped the local population rebuild their town, trained with Hadvar in order to recover from his injury. Moreover, the Imperial allowed Adaeze to find a new, better job.

Since she'd been fired by the Jarl of Winterhold for her interest in Agda's disappearance, the young Redguard had been unemployed. Her best friend had offered her to work for the College, but Adaeze had refused. Not only had she had enough of Winterhold: the former thief also wanted a job that could help her stay close to Hadvar.

Despite Agda and Steinarius' doubts, Adaeze was terribly serious about her relationship with the young soldier. Her close-encounter with death had namely helped her realize that across her life she'd made many big mistakes - and throwing away Hadvar's affection had probably been the biggest one. That young man was sweet and kind and faithful, had a lovely smile that made her melt every time, had gone miles to save her when she'd been stabbed; moreover, he hadn't shown any hint of disgust when Adaeze had told him about the murder of her parents, about her wrecked childhood in Bravil, about her past life as a thief. Hadvar accepted her as she was, flaws and qualities included - and now that she was provided with a chance to start all over again, Adaeze was determined to be faithful to that kind soldier who'd saved her life more times than she could count. Unfortunately, in order to be faithful to Hadvar, the young Redguard felt the need to find a job that would bring her closer to the Imperial Camp of the Rift.

"I don't want to return to the Thieves Guild", Adaeze told Agda and Steinarius one night, while the three of them were having a tankard of mead at the inn. "If I do, they'll send me on errands all over Skyrim and I won't have the chance to spend time with Hadvar. I love him and I don't want to part from him anymore".

Steinarius and Agda had exchanged a skeptical glance at that confession; yet, they'd agreed to help the young Redguard find a decent job that could help her stay close to Hadvar. In particular, Steinarius wrote a long letter to Legate Rikke in which he described Adaeze's talent for fighting and openly vouched for her admission in the Legion. When she found out about that message, the young Redguard threw her arms around the Dragonborn's neck and seemed unable to stop thanking him for that favor.

A few days later, when she was summoned in Solitude and asked to face an admission trial to join the army , Adaeze immediately obliged. Legate Rikke was really impressed by her skills and, although she had some doubts about her bubbly personality, she decided to allow the young woman to become a soldier - and when she was stationed in the Rift under Hadvar's command, Adaeze felt as though she was the luckiest creature in the whole wide world.

For the first time in her existence, the Redguard had the chance to build herself an honest life with the man she truly loved.

* * *

As she carefully read the letter she'd just received, Agda frowned. Adaeze and Hadvar had left for the Rift a few days earlier and the young woman had expected to receive a message from them; yet, the sender of that beautifully written letter had nothing to do with her two friends.

"It looks like my favorite mage is so busy with work that she won't even notice me", someone suddenly said.

Startled by that voice, Agda shuddered and turned her head towards the door of her room. Steinarius was standing there, a heavy scarf draped around his neck and his best cloak around his shoulders. His cheeks were red because of the cold, whereas his hair were damp because of the snow. Despite the freezing weather of the North, the man seemed surprisingly happy and cheerful.

"Another letter from Delphine?", he asked while taking off his wet clothes and running a hand through his tousled hair.

Agda gestured for the Imperial to lay his cloak and his scarf by the magical fireplace in the middle of her room, then she used a spell to present him with a pair of comfortable house-shoes. Steinarius eagerly shed the boots he'd worn for his quick hunting session and immediately put on those warm slippers.

"Not really", the girl said while twitching her nose. "I'm afraid it is something worse".

As he slumped on a nearby chair, Steinarius scoffed.

"There's nothing worse than Delphine".

Agda chuckled at Steinarius' sternness and couldn't help but think of the events from the previous few days.

A week earlier Delphine had written her a long letter full of questions about her health and apologies for the way the young Nord had been forced to face Ancano on her own. Upon reaching the end of the message, however, Agda had immediately understood why the Breton had actually bothered to write her.

 _I know that Crepusculus is still in Winterhold_ , Delphine had namely added as a post-scriptum to that long letter. _Would you please remind him that we still need recruits for the Blades? It's been a while since he last introduced me to a possible dragonhunter._

Agda had simply sighed when confronted with that comment, whereas Steinarius had lost his temper and begun insulting Delphine. Actually, the man had screamed so loudly that the librarian of the College had visited the Archmage's office just to tell him to shut up, thus causing Steinarius' mood to get even worse.

Confronted with the man's rage, Agda had been forced to realize that he was bound to leave her soon, a fact that had caused her nightmares to become more frequent. At the same time, the Archmage had done her best to help Steinarius find a suitable recuit for the Blades. It hadn't taken her long, actually: J'zhargo was visibly disappointed by her new role as the leader of the College and had even begun looking for a new magic school. When provided with the chance of becoming a dragonhunter, however, the Khajit had immediately forgotten his dreams of a career as a scholar and had eagerly accepted Steinarius' offer. The Imperial had been very glad to hear that: with J'hargo, Faendal and Erik by his side, Steinarius namely believed that the Blades would soon become very successful. Also, he hoped Delphine would finally give him some peace.

"I'll actually have to talk to that witch soon, I'm afraid", the Imperial snorted when Agda didn't say anything in reply to his previous comment about Delphine. "She'll probably want me to train J'zhargo, so I'll have to stick around her for a while - if I don't kill her first, obviously".

"Maybe _she_ will kill you first", Agda joked. "You hate her, but I get the feeling she hates you too".

Steinarius snorted at that, then he fell silent for a while. At last, the man finally faced the reason why he'd decided to visit Agda.

"The people of Winterhold would like to give you that horse, Snowbell, in order to thank you for everything you'd done for them".

Agda raised her gaze from the letters she was reading. She remembered that horse very well - after all, it had almost killed her on the way towards Labyrinthian.

"Is there a reason why you're telling me any of this?", she asked Steinarius. "You've just spoiled a rather important surprise".

The Dragonborn reacted to those words with an idle movement of his hands.

"The villagers have come up with other gifts, don't worry. Actually, I told you about this just because I was wondering whether that present will finally help you learn how to ride. I'll have to spend a few weeks in the Reach with Delphine and I'd actually be very happy if you visited me".

Agda was taken aback by Steinarius' words, and she was even more surprised when the Imperial blushed. He'd never been good with words, so he probably hadn't meant his request to sound so blunt.

"Stein, I'll have a lot of work to do in the next few weeks", she told him, kindness and sadness and regret well evident in her voice. "Even if I knew how to ride, I wouldn't have the time to visit you. You can always hop on a dragon and come to Winterhold, though".

Confronted with Agda's cautious smile, Steinarius sighed. In Solstheim he'd learned how to ride dragons, but it wasn't nearly as fascinating as people believed it.

"I can ride dragons, sure, but I cannot direct them", he pointed out. "That makes the whole thing rather pointless. By the way, since you cannot visit me in Karth, I guess I'll have to rely only on myself to keep my werewolf in check when I'm around Delphine".

Agda furrowed her brow.

"Stein, Delphine can be rather harsh at times, but..."

"I know, I know", the man broke her off. "I can't turn her into a steak because she's my boss. I was just kidding, Agds: I promise you I'll be a good pup and won't cause any problem".

Agda smiled at Steinarius' depressed tone, then resumed reading the letters she'd received. Next to her, the man grabbed a book and started flipping through the pages. The Imperial was rather fond of reading, a fact Agda had only recently discovered.

"What were you doing when I came in?", Steinarius asked after a while, thus breaking the comfortable silence inside the room.

Confronted with that enquiry, Agda twitched her nose in disgust.

"Next week I'll receive a delegation from the Blue Palace. They've written me so many times that I've finally agreed to meet them. Don't worry, though: I won't take sides in the war", the girl added when she noticed Steinarius' frown.

"I'm not worried for your opinions about the war, Agds", the man pointed out. "I'm just worried that some Stormcloak lunatics may come here and insult you because you received a delegation from the Legion, but didn't meet with anyone from their ranks".

"Actually, the Stormcloaks won't complain at all", Agda replied. As she spoke, the girl blushed and neatly avoided Steinarius' gaze. "I will meet them too".

The sudden revelation caused Steinarius to remain speechless for a long amount of time. He'd always believed Ada to be a supporter of the Empire, but he'd never really faced that topic with her - and now he was slowly beginning to regret that mistake.

"You're not a supporter of Ulfric, are you?"

Agda was surprised by the way Steinarius' eyes got golden as soon as he said those words.

"Would it make any difference?", she asked, slightly intimated by the Dragonborn's threatening gaze. Agda knew that Steinarius was very sensitive about that topic, but she was nonetheless shocked by the betrayed look he was sporting at the moment.

"You're asking me if it makes any difference? Of course it does!", the man snapped, his voice full of surprise and confusion. "Ulfric murdered his own king, Agda! He challenged him to a duel and before Thorygg could even accept, he'd already used the Thu'um to rip him into pieces! He killed him in cold-blood, just like he's ripping this land apart without blinking an eye! Ulfric is no hero, Agds: he's a monster, one who wouldn't hesitate to destroy this country in order to become king, to sacrifice his own people to increase his power, to murder every stranger in this land in order to prove that Skyrim belongs to the Nords. If it depended on him, people like Brelyna, Faralda or Drevys would have already been forced to leave this country - and if it depended on him, people of mixed-origins like me would be gutted and skinned in the main square of Windhelm!"

"But the Empire..."

"Agds, do not use that topic with me!", Steinarius warned his friend. "The Empire has made a lot of mistakes, sure, and that included sacrificing Talos to the Thalmor. Yet, before Ulfric started his stupid crusade, people in Skyrim worshipped Tiber Septim with no problems: it was the Stormcloaks who caused the Empire to intervene after openly breaking the rules. It was their fault if the Thalmor now consider Skyrim a threat, it was their fault if dozens of people die every day, it was their fault if a guy like Ancano was admitted inside the College! When you meet Ulfric, Agds, tell him to take a good look at your face and to apologize, because it was his fault if the Thalmor got so obsessed with Skyrim!"

After Steinarius shouted that last sentence, Agda remained speechless for a moment. She was completely surprised by Steinarius' rageful reaction to her words.

"I... I didn't mean to upset you", she whispered while lowering her gaze. "It's just... I thought... I..."

Much to her dismay, Agda realized that she was still too shocked by Steinarius' unexpected outburst of rage to form any decent sentence. Surprisingly enough, the man noticed it too.

"Agds, I wasn't screaming at you", he pointed out, his irises slowly regaining their natural color. As he spoke, the man gently laid a hand above Agda's. His voice was full of regret. "Unfortunately, I get carried away every time I face this topic. I'm sorry for snapping, Agds, I really am - and then, I was lying: even if you were a supporter of the rebels, things between us wouldn't change at all. I didn't mean to judge you".

"Stein, when I say that I'm not taking sides in the war, I mean it", Agda carefully replied. "I really don't know who I should fight for, because both the Empire and the Stormcloaks have made horrible things in the last few years".

"But the Stormcloaks..."

"The Stormcloaks have their flaws, but the Empire has made quite a lot of mistakes too", Agda broke Steinarius off. "You can say what you want, but it was the Empire that first let the Thalmor into Skyrim. Sure, Ulfric's rebellion hase forced the Dominion to rely more violent methods, but it was the Emperor who allowed the Aldmeri to do what they wanted in his lands. It was the Empire's fault if Adaeze's parents were murdered, it was their fault if my parents' shop in Anvil was burnt to the ground, it was their fault if the Thalmor are allowed to kill Talos' worshippers - and Ulfric is fighting because he thinks this is utterly unjust".

"Agds, there are many things you don't know about Ulfric", Steinarius replied. "Yet, I don't want to influence you. Just... Just promise me you'll be careful if you decide to meet him, will you?"

Agda nodded, then watched as Steinarius resumed reading his book. It was the first time they openly discussed their opinions about the war and the young woman wanted to know more about the Dragonborn's decision to join the Legion.

"You and Thorygg were good friends, right?"

Steinarius wasn't surprised by that question.

"We were very good friends, Agds - so good that he was supposed to be the best man at my wedding". After that revelation, Steinarius sighed, closed the book he was reading and looked Agda in the eyes. "You know what really bothers me about this war? Thorygg wasn't the best king in the world, but he was an honest, decent and honorable man who deeply loved his people and his country. Also, he wasn't murdered because he'd hurt people or because he'd done something wrong - he was murdered because a certain maniac wanted to take his place and thought to be much better than him. And to add insult to injury, I think Ulfric caused more troubles in the last few months than Thorygg did in his whole life. That's why I hate that man: because he led this land into chaos just in order to fulfill his personal dreams of greatness. Ulfric doesn't care about Skyrim, or Talos, or the Nords: he only cares about himself".

As Steinarius talked, Agda was surprised by the raw pain in his voice. Thorygg had been killed shortly after Vigdis' injury and Eidan's death, therefore the girl couldn't imagine how difficult it had been for the Dragonborn to get over all those nasty events. After that quick talk, the Archmage now understood why her best friend had decided to join the Legion as soon as he'd been provided with the chance.

* * *

After their heated discussion, Agda and Steinarius resumed reading in silence. The girl would often look at her friend, whereas the warrior seemingly ignored her; yet, the Archmage could tell that something was still bothering him.

Towards the end of that long afternoon, Steinarius let out a loud sigh. He ran his hand through his hair just like he did whenever he was worried, then he massaged his temples with his fingers. When he sighed again, Agda finally asked him what was wrong.

"I'm sorry for throwing away one of my last days with you, Agds", the man confessed her. "That discussion about the war really killed the mood and I'm afraid I won't have time to make up for it. J'zhargo and I are heading for the Reach in two days time".

When she found out about that, Agda immediately realized why Steinarius seemed so tired and sad.

"You don't want to leave", she said. It wasn't a question, but the Dragonborn nodded anyway.

"I never want to leave", he admitted with a humorless chuckle. "Especially not when you're bound to meet so many unpleasant people one after the other".

"You'll be meeting unpleasant people too. Delphine has missed you, though, so maybe she'll be kinder than usual".

Steinarius smiled at that, then he draped an arm around Agda's shoulders and pulled her towards him. She didn't protest and, when he buried his nose in her hair and let out a long sigh, she used one hand to kindly caress his face.

"If you hug me like this every time we meet, I may even learn how to ride and come visit you in the Reach", the mage joked when the man began stroking her back.

Steinarius giggled, then he let go of his friend. As he looked into Agda's deep brown eyes, the Dragonborn felt sorry for his previous outburst of rage; at the same time, however, he once again realized that the young woman was much tougher than she seemed.

Agda was a wise girl who had survived the tortures of the Thalmor and had faced the horrors of Labyrinthian; as a consequence, Steinarius was sure that Ulfric Stormcloak would have no way to work his spell on her.


	57. The bear and the maiden fair

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the latest chapter of my story. First of all, a huge "thank you" to Maddy and Valtieri for their lovely reviews.**

 **As for Maddy, I'm really glad you enjoyed my story up to chapter 12 - and hopefully I didn't let you down in the following chapters.**

 **As for Valtieri/KP, don't worry: your nickname is funny in the right way (I meant to say it was "fun", but then the English language betrayed me and had me say "funny" instead). I'm glad you liked Adaeze's choice to join the army and I completely feel the same way about Delphine. Luckily for us, Steinarius shares our very same opinion on that woman.**

 **I had no idea Fultheim carried a Blade sword! As usual, your fun facts always teach me something new and interesting.**

 **Speaking of interesting things: here's a chapter about Agda's misadventures in the political world of Tamriel. I wrote it in just one day, so I'm not sure about the result. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **14th of Sun's Dusk, 4E 202**

Saying goodbye to Steinarius was as difficult as always. The Dragonborn departed from Winterhold with a promise and a request: he swore to Agda that he'd visit her soon, then he asked her to be careful during her meeting with Ulfric.

"You have no idea how dangerous that man can be", Steinarius sternly said, his usually placid eyes full of worry. "Also, you have no idea how tricky he can get".

Agda swore she'd be careful, then smiled as her best friend enveloped her in a tight hug and finally left for the warmer hills of the Reach.

When Steinarius and his horse became nothing but a black spot on the snowy coast of the North, however, the new Archmage of Winterhold sighed: for the umpteenth time in her life, she was forced to stand back and watch as her best friend set off to save the world from destruction.

* * *

The following days went by very rapidly for Agda. The young girl was busy rebuilding the houses Ancano and his magic anomalies had destroyed, she was busy sending letters to all the magic institutions of Tamriel in order to present herself as the Archmage of Winterhold, she was busy writing a list of all the mages who lived in Skyrim - but most of all, the young Nord was busy forcing her colleagues to follow her orders.

That latter task was much more difficult than Agda had imagined. Savos Aren had been a great mage, sure, but he'd never really bothered to ask obedience from the people of the College - as a consequence, when Agda used her new position to give her colleagues a few tasks, most of them weren't happy at all.

Despite Enthir's claims, Agda's interest for those tasks didn't depend on the fact that she enjoyed making life difficult for the others - simply enough, the woman wanted the College of Winterhold to gain more importance on the international scene. The young Nord knew that her goal was very ambitious, but she also knew that she had the means to achieve it; that's why, in the first days after Steinarius' departure, Agda provided her colleagues with many challenging tasks - she asked Tolfdir to study a substance that could help wooden houses to survive a close encounter with a dragon, she gave Drevis the money he needed to investigate Doomstones all over Tamriel, she forced Colette to look for a cure against the most common diseases of Skyrim... In that way, the girl made sure that all of her friends could work on interesting and demanding projects that were of great interest to all the scholars of Tamriel.

As well as forcing her colleagues to follow her orders, after Steinarius' departure Agda also tried to improve the lives of the people of Winterhold. First of all, the young Nord striked a deal with Birna and Haran: the two women would provide the College with food and clothes and other trivial things - and in return, the mages would offer them potions and items for their customers. Moreover, Agda asked Erandur and Frida to organize a little healing and alchemy course for the inhabitants of Winterhold. Despite the initial skepticism, the lessons quickly proved to be very successful, a fact that annoyed Jarl Korir to no end. The man hated magic with all his heart and his mind and his soul, but he was helpless against a resourceful woman like Agda - and when the people of Winterhold starting claiming that the young mage would make a much better ruler than him, Korir could do nothing but suffer in silence and hope that Ulfric Stormcloak would finally bring an end to the negative influence that Agda the Cold had on their subjects.

* * *

Although Agda had always hated politics, her new role as the Archmage of Winterholdsoon forced her to meet both sides of the Civil War - and just like she'd mentioned to Steinarius, her first political encounter brought her face to face with the supporters of the Empire.

Agda would have liked to meet with Elisif the Fair herself, but the young Jarl was seemingly too busy to welcome her in Solitude - that's why, much to her annoyance, the Archmage was forced to talk to a few Imperial soldiers in a snowy camp right outside Dawnstar.

The meeting left the woman baffled and confused: her interlocutors were very young soldiers who had just joined the army and who considered all Nords to be bearded stinky barbarians - and when Agda stated that she wasn't going to take sides in the war, one of them even asked her how it was possible to sleep with a former Imperial captain and to refuse to help the Legion at the same time.

Annoyed by that question and by the lack of respect the Legion had showed her by forcing her to meet with those recruits, Agda left the camp without bidding anyone goodbye. On her way to Winterhold, however, the woman cursed herself for her naivete: Elisif and the Legion probably had nothing to do with what had happened - actually, the mage was sure that her encounter had been organized by the Thalmor without knowledge of the Jarl of Solitude. The Dominion didn't consider her a threat and didn't need her help to win the war - and they'd tried to make that clear by organizing that insulting meeting. Elenwen and her gang had probably hoped for Agda to snap and cause a diplomatic accident with the Legion, but the Archmage had been clever enough to avoid that trap. After that meeting, however, the young Nord started feeling very worried: if the Thalmor had so much control over the army, an Imperial victory in the war was likely to cause tremendous problems to the whole of Tamriel.

* * *

A week after her adventure in Dawnstar, Agda found herself staring at the threatening walls of Windhelm. It was a cold and snowy morning and the Archmage felt very nervous; at the same time, however, she was curious to meet the man who had ripped her land apart with just one gesture.

As she approached the gates of the city, Agda was amazed by the sight of the former capital of Skyrim. Windhelm was a glorious and proud city with a long and bloody history and the girl just couldn't wait to find out more about it. Sadly enough, Agda's expectations about Ulfric's hometown were soon disappointed.

From the outside, Windhelm looked great and powerful and majestic; from the inside, however, it was a complete mess. The streets were full of mud and melted snow, beggars were always ready to stop the passers-by, the air had the disgusting smell of too many humans living together - but most of all, Agda was immediately greeted by a terrible scene involving two Nords and a Dunmer woman.

"You come here where you're not wanted, you eat our food, you pollute our city with your stink, and you refuse to help the Stormcloaks!", a visibly drunken Nord accused the unlucky Elf.

"But we haven't taken a side because it's not our fight!", the small Dunmer replied.

"Hey, maybe the reason these gray-skins don't help in the war is because they're Imperial spies", another man chimed in.

Before Agda could intervene, the other drunkard took a step towards the Dunmer and raised a threatening finger.

"Maybe we'll pay you a visit tonight, little spy", he hissed. "We got ways of finding out what you really are".

Confronted with that surreal dialogue, Agda blinked twice. In that moment she was very thankful for two things: first, she'd asked Brelyna to wait for her in Kynesgrove. Second, she'd hidden her Archmage robes beneath a heavy dark cloak. Somehow, she had the feeling that the people of Windhelm despised mages almost as much as they despised Dunmer.

While walking through the city, Agda noticed other signs of tension between the Nords and the other races of Tamriel. Not only was a Dunmer man accused of stealing the golden ring he was wearing - a few seconds later, a loud commotion accompanied the efforts of three guards who were taking an Argonian towards the docks of the city.

"Argonians aren't allowed in the city, you filth!", one of them shouted.

As she saw the hatred in the eyes of that guard, Agda shivered. Had she been forced to choose between the Thalmor and those people, she would have rather voted for Alduin to destroy the whole of Tamriel.

At least, dragons weren't racist.

* * *

As she walked towards the Palace of Kings, Agda didn't even stop to read the interesting engravings in the walls of the buildings. She'd already had enough of Windhelm and wanted to leave the town as soon as possible. Sadly, in order to do so she had to meet Ulfric Stormcloak.

Upon reaching the courtyard of his residence, Agda asked a guard to introduce her to the Jarl. Much to her surprise, the young boy already knew who she was and led her inside the Palace of Kings with no protests.

As she set foot into that magnificient structure, Agda's jaw dropped to the floor. That place was warm and massive and had a beautifully engraved ceiling; it was made of stone, had great windows and a table full of food, was lit by many different candles. But most of all, that place was the home of Ulfric Stormcloak.

The Jarl of Windhelm and leader of the rebels was standing near his throne and talking to his Huskarl, Galmar Stone-Fist. Agda had heard a lot about the man, therefore she immediately recognized him. As she got closer to him, the Archmage noticed that Ulfric was very different from what she had imagined: he had a mane of blonde hair, a short and bulky figured dressed in spartan but elegant robes, a honest face full of scars and lit by a couple of piercing blue eyes. It was those eyes that impressed Agda more than everything else. They weren't the smug eyes of a ruler who was fighting a war for himself: quite on the contrary, they were the sad, grief-stricken eyes of a warrior who was challenging the Empire for the sake of his people - and the first words Agda ever heard from Ulfric's lips completely confirmed that thought.

"I fight for the men I've held in my arms, dying on foreign soil", the Jarl was telling Galmar when the Archmage first entered his halls. "I fight for their wives and children, whose names I heard whispered in their last breath. I fight for we few who did come home, only to find our country full of strangers wearing familiar faces. I fight for my people impoverished to pay the debts of an Empire too weak to rule them, yet brands them criminals for wanting to rule themselves. I fight so that all the fighting I've already done hasn't been for nothing - but most of all, I fight because I must".

Galmar made to reply, but stopped as soon as he saw the small Nord woman at the other end of the hall. Only then did Ulfric turn to face Agda.

"Who are you?", the Huskarl of the Jarl asked in a low hiss, his hands going for the hilt of his hammer.

Before Agda could reply, Ulfric stopped Galmar with a gesture.

"This woman, Galmar, is the newest Archmage of Winterhold", he told him. His voice was low and booming and perfectly matched his incredible charisma. "Her name is Agda and I have invited her here because she's a true daughter of Skyrim".

As she listened to those words, Agda blinked in confusion. She was born in Anvil, had grown up there, had never set foot in most of the cities of Skyrim; yet, Ulfric was calling her "a true Nord". Was he really talking about her?

The woman made to voice her doubts, but Ulfric immediately stopped her.

"I trust your journey to Windhelm was pleasant", he said while walking towards her. He shook hands with Agda, then he showed her the way to a little room with a large table full of food. "Please, have a seat and eat something. It's almost lunch time".

Agda hesitantly sat down, both shocked and surprised by Ulfric's kindness. The man was nothing like she had imagined him - but most of all, he had a charisma that made her head spin and her mouth unable to speak. All of a sudden, however, the mage remembered what Steinarius had told her: _Ulfric is a tricky man, Agda: do not let him work his spell on you -_ and as she remembered those words, the girl also recalled the scenes she'd witnessed across the streets of Windhelm.

"My journey to Windhelm was pleasant, Jarl Ulfric", she said while timidly accepting the tankard of mead the man was offering her. "I had a Dunmer friend with me and she kept me excellent company. Unfortunately, I didn't feel like leading her inside the city. After all, people in Windhelm seem very nervous when they're around Elves".

When Galmar turned to look at Ulfric, Agda realized she'd struck a raw nerve. Much to her surprise, however, the Jarl sighed in what sounded like embarrassement and sheepishly ran a hand through his hair.

"Windhelm does have a problem with strangers, I'll admit it", he said. "Yet, you cannot blame my people for hating the Elves. The Thalmor..."

"The Thalmor are Altmer, not Dunmer. And they're not Argonian either".

There was a moment of silence during which Agda cursed her bluntness. She'd been with Ulfric for less than five minutes and she was already provoking him - and that wasn't good at all.

"My fault", Ulfric said after calmly bringing a tankard of mead to his lips. "I've expressed my thoughts poorly. I perfectly know the difference between Altmer and Dunmer - my people, unfortunately, aren't that precise. I know that Grey Elves and Argonians don't have a good time here in Windhelm and believe me, I wish things were different. Unfortunately, right now I'm too busy with the war to solve their problems, but I promise that one day I'll do it. At the same time, however, I must underline that Windhelm isn't a racist city: there's a successful Dunmer farmer living nearby, just like there are many Imperials who currently reside within our walls. Also, the Empire isn't that good either when it comes to dealing with strangers: after all, your parents had to flee to High Rock because of some racists who burnt down their shop. Apropos, do you think things will be different once the Thalmor win this war?"

Agda was shocked by that last question. She hadn't expected Ulfric to know about her past - and she clearly hadn't expected him to turn the tables on her so fast.

"No", the Archmage was forced to admit. "If the Thalmor win the war, it will be a tragedy for everyone".

"That is something we agree about", Ulfric stated. "And that is the reason why I'm asking for your help in the war".

Confused by those words, Agda frowned. She hadn't expected the leader of the rebels to be so blunt.

"I'm not planning to take sides in the war", she immediately clarified. "I'm a mage and I'm not..."

"We don't want to force you to do something against your will", Ulfric stopped her with a gesture. "Actually, we invited you here because we're curious about you, Agda. Jarl Korir told us a lot about you and, even if he hates you, he couldn't prevent his admiration to transpire from his letters. It's unusual for a Nord to become Archmage of Windhelm and, since our army doesn't have any wizard, we'd be glad if you could train some healers and some battlemages for our troops. We're not asking you to openly side for us: we are simply asking you to let us use the College as a base for our men".

"I don't want to get involved in the war at all", Agda repeated while shaking her head. "Winterhold needs some peace - and I need peace too. If you want to train some healers, you can ask your court wizard or have someone sent here from another city".

"Or we can send a few boys to attend your free healing courses in Winterhold", Galmar edged himself into the conversation. "It wouldn't really make a difference, girl".

"They won't learn much during those lessons", Agda replied. She didn't like the grin on Galmar's face, just like she didn't like his snobbish attitude. "Erandur doesn't teach how to treat deep wounds or severed limbs or broken bones - he simply explains how to deal with common diseases".

Ulfric didn't say anything, whereas Galmar broke into a snort.

"See? I told you, my Jarl: meeting this woman won't get us anywhere. She's untrustworthy and she clearly doesn't want to help us. Also, she's a liar at heart".

Agda narrowed her eyes in anger.

"I'm not here to be insulted", she warningly hissed.

"Of course you're not: you're here to spy on us on behalf of your lover, right? You don't wish to help your country, but you're ready to spread your legs for a disgusting man like..."

"Galmar, enough!"

Ulfric's booming voice echoed through the large room, thus causing his Huskarl to shut up immediately.

"Leave us", the Jarl added. "You've brought shame over yourself today".

Galmar made to speak, but a piercing glance from Ulfric had him change his mind. Grinding his teeth and flaring Agda one last gaze full of hatred and disgusts, the man left the table and disappeared from the room.

"I think it is clear that I do not share Galmar's opinion of you", Ulfric calmly stated once he was alone with Agda. Upon hearing Galmar's insult the girl had been about to storm out of the castle, but had stopped when the Jarl had asked his Huskarl to leave the room. "My friend had no right to speak to you like that. You come across like a very honorable woman, Agda - and though it pains me to say it, Steinarius Crepusculus is a decent man too, so I won't allow Galmar to insult him".

"You know Steinarius?", Agda asked in confusion.

"I know his father, and I know him very well too", Ulfric revealed with a nod. "Actually, Steinarius Crepusculus was the one to capture me at Darkwater Crossings - and had it not been for the dragons, the war would have ended thanks to him".

"Steinarius doesn't like you, Ulfric", Agda cautiously said. She was surprised by the man's respect for the Dragonborn and wanted to find out more about it. "He considers you a traitor and a murderer".

"I am very well aware of that", Ulfric replied without losing his calm façade. "Unfortunately, my choices have caused me to lose the trust of many people I highly appreciate - and Steinarius Crepusculus was one of them. Yet, even if he and I are on different sides of the war, that doesn't prevent me from admiring him.

"Crepusculus is a brave soldier who went through a lot and who's been loaded with a very heavy burden. Actually, I'm sincerely thankful to him: all our destinies lie in his hands - and that is why every night I ask Talos to preserve the Dragonborn from any danger".

Agda narrowed her eyes at that. Something about Ulfric's words rang false to her - yet, his blue eyes were incredibly sincere.

"Actually, I'm not surprised that Crepusculus fell for a woman like you", the Jarl of Windhelm suddenly added, thus snapping Agda out of her thoughts. "When he was asked to save the world, he immediately answered his calling - and when you were asked to save Winterhold, you answered your calling too. We could really use someone like you, Agda: you're a true daughter of the North and you'd be really useful as my war advisor".

Agda blinked her eyes in confusion. She was both shocked and flattered by that proposal.

"War advisor? But I don't have any experience in fighting! I..."

"You don't have any experience, it's true, but you are clever, strong and smart. You've gained the trust of the people of Winterhold and you've risked your life to protect what you believe in. Together, Agda, we could create a better world - a world where one's heart is more important than their race and their religion and where people value freedom above everything else".

"That sounds beautiful", Agda skeptically agreed. "Yet, I am mage. Even if I decided to help you, how would your supporters react to that?"

Much to Agda' surprise, Ulfric simply shrugged.

"The world is changing, Agda, just like it's changed so many times in the course of history. Nords aren't choosy when it comes to using enchanted weapons, they aren't choosy when it comes to talking to a healer, they aren't choosy when it comes to following the timeless magic of the Thu'um - and they won't be choosy when they see that you're a capable leader who can help them towards the better world we all dream about".

Once again, Agda was flattered by Ulfric's words; yet, his mention of the Thu'um caused her to think of Steinarius' words. _A murderer_ , he'd called Ulfric - and Agda was now determined to find out more about the death of King Torygg and Stormcloak's role in that sad fact.

"You don't consider the Thu'um 'a timeless magic'", Agda carefully pointed out. Ulfric could use words like a master, but she could see right through them. Actually, you even used it as a weapon to kill your rightful king".

"I used it to _challenge_ Torygg, Agda", Ulfric corrected the young mage. The girl was surprised at how calm he sounded. "And believe me when I say that I deeply regret that mistake, as it caused me to lose the esteem of Master Arngeir and the Greybeards. Yet, Torygg had no chances against me: Thu'um or not, I would have defeated him anyway. He was a weak king and needed to be deposed. I'm sorry it happened like that".

There was a poignant silence during which Agda carefully eyed Ulfric. Was he really the murderer Steinarius had described her? Was he really a ruthless man who just wanted to be king? Right then, the girl had no answers.

The Jarl sighed, then made to pour some more mead into his tankard. Right then, however, a guard came running inside the room.

"Your Highness, there's been a battle near Morthal", he announced. "We've just received news".

Ulfric gave Agda a long look, then he slowly stood up from the table.

"I apologize, but this needs my attention", he told the woman. "If you decided to stay in Windhelm for the night, I'd be glad to resume our conversation later".

Much to her shock, Agda found herself accepting that request - and only a couple of hours later, when she found herself in a comfortable bedroom in the Palace of Kings, she understood what kind of troubles she'd just fallen into.

* * *

Agda didn't see Ulfric for the rest of the day. The news coming from Morthal was bad and that explained his absence. Well after nightfall, however, when the woman was getting ready to sleep, someone lightly knocked on her door. Agda had expected it to be a servant who wanted to provide her with a sleeping gown, therefore she was extremely shocked when she found herself face to face with Ulfric Stormcloak himself.

"I hope I'm not too late to apologize for my absence", the man said while slowly walking inside her room. "It's been a long day".

As she took in the man's tired appearance, his haunted look and his sad eyes, Agda immediately understood that the battle in Morthal had been lost.

"Fifty brave soldiers died today, and all because of me", Ulfric confirmed as though he'd just read her mind "Because of me, fifty children won't return to their mothers, fifty parents won't return to their kids, fifty spouses won't return to their loved ones. And because of me, Skyrim has lost fifty of her most loyal sons and daughters".

Confronted with the man's words, Agda stilled on the threshold to her room. For some reasons, she felt Ulfric's grief as it were her own and felt the odd desire to make him feel better.

"It wasn't your fault, Ulfric", she tentatively said. The Jarl of Windhelm looked completely distraught by the news. "Those soldiers knew what they were doing. And then, they trusted you: I'm sure they do not regret losing their lives for your cause. They wanted their children to live in a better place and you should keep on fighting to honor their sacrifice".

Ulfric looked Agda in the eyes when she said that, the he kindly smiled. The mage, on the other hand, felt very weird: she'd always despised Ulfric because of his extremistic ideas about Skyrim beloging to the Nords, but now she could see that there was so much more than that to the charismatic man.

Ulfric didn't want the throne for himself: he wanted the throne to make Skyrim a better place.

"Thank you, Agda". When the man spoke, the mage was actually startled. "I needed someone to tell me that. Also, I'm sorry for bothering you: it's very late and you probably need to rest. I hope you'll get some sleep and think about our conversation from this morning. Just know this, Agda: even if you decide to stay neutral in this war, I won't mind: to me, the most important thing is to show people that I'm not the monster they fear".

As Ulfric spoke, he grabbed a candle from Agda's desk and went for the door to her room. As soon as he moved, the light fell on his tired face, thus underlining an ugly scar on his cheek. Agda immediately recognized the shape of that wound: after all, that mark looked exactly like the ones she had on her face.

"That scar...", she hesitantly said while pointing at Ulfric's cheek. At first the man seemed confused, but then he stopped in his tracks and nodded.

"That's how the Thalmor mark their victims", he said with a loud sigh. "Yet, I'm sure you already know about it, Agda".

Before the mage could do anything, Ulfric had returned towards her and gently laid a hand on her cheek. The girl' scars were hidden by the usual ointment, but no potion could prevent people from touching her skin and feeling the weird texture of those old wounds under their digits.

"Those bastards", Ulfric hissed when his callous fingers found one of the scars on Agda's cheeks.

Silently, the man began exploring the mage's face with the soft touch of his hands. He traced the scars on her nose, the ones on her forehead, even the one that crossed her eyelids. When he reached the one at the corner of her mouth, however, Agda stopped him.

"Don't", she said. The mage had never allowed anyone to touch her scars and was visibly unease because of that unexpected gesture on Ulfric' side. "I don't want to remember...".

"Agda, you _need_ to remember", Ulfric softly broke her off. As he spoke, the man cupped the mage's face in his hands and leant towards her until his mouth was just an inch away from hers.

"Agda, look at me", the Jarl said at that point. "I've been tortured by the Thalmor too, so I know how you feel. Here, let me show you..."

As he spoke, Ulfric unbuttoned his heavy robes, then he gently took one of Agda's hands and brought it on his chest. The girl immediately noticed the many gashes and burnings and marks that marred his skin.

For some reasons, the evidence of Ulfric's past and of the tortures he had endured caused something in Agda's mind to break - and when the man leant towards her and seized her lips in a kiss, the mage didn't pull away. Ulfric immediately deepened the contact and kissed her roughly, passionately, with growing force and fierceness - but when his hands seized the front of Agda's robes and began tugging at her shirt, the mage stopped him.

In Agda's opinion, kissing Ulfric was different from kissing Steinarius: the Nord knew exactly what she'd been through, he knew what she had suffered, he knew the strength it had taken her to slowly go back to her normal life - all things that, try as he might, Steinarius would never understand. That fact also showed in the way those two very different people kissed her: Steinarius' ministrations were gentle and loving, almost as though he was afraid to hurt her. Ulfric's instead were rough and passionate - because, after all, he perfectly knew what Agda had been through and perfectly knew that she was strong enough to get over her tortures.

When the man made to shed her clothes, however, Agda felt hesitant. The memories of Ancano were still too vivid and she didn't want to wipe them away with a man she'd just met - that's why, when Ulfric tugged once again at her belt, she immediately broke their kiss.

"We should wait", she breathlessly said.

"We shouldn't", Ulfric groaned in reply. His voice was hoarse and Agda was almost scared by the threatening light she saw in his eyes. "I know what you've been through, Agda, and I'm the only one who can help you forget".

"We've just met", the girl timidly replied. "I need more time to..."

"Agda, no one else can help you: I know what the Thalmor have done to you - actuallt, I know it because I've felt it on my skin - and from my experience I can tell you that this is the only way. You and me, together: for our sake and for Skyrim's".

When Ulfric made to resume his assault on her belt, Agda took a step back. Right then, as the man let out an angry growl and cursed, the young mage understood everything.

Ulfric wasn't helping her forget Ancano - quite on the contrary, he was trying to be sympathetic in order to gain her support for the war. That's why, when he closed in on her, Agda completely lost it.

There was a loud explosion, then Ulfric Stormcloak flew a few meters away from the mage and landed heavily on his back. At that moment the look on his face was shocked and scared and outraged.

A long moment of perfect silence followed. During those many seconds, Agda almost burst into a hysterical laughter. Not only had she caused Ulfric Stormcloak to fly through a room of his own castle thanks to a spell - said spell had also caused his unzipped trousers to fall along his legs and pool around his ankles. Because of her, the most powerful man of Skyrim was now trying to hop awkwardly in her direction.

"You!", the Jarl shouted as he got back to his feet. His fake calm had suddenly disappeared. "You've just thrown away your only chance to forget about the Thalmor! No one will ever be able to understand you: not your colleagues, not your friends, not even your stupid Dragonborn friend! Your pain will be yours and yours alone and it will slowly eat you from the inside - and when the Thalmor win this war because you refused to team up with me, I'll watch from Sovngarde as they kill you and torture you again!"

Agda watched in shock as Ulfric threateningly walked towards her. That's why he'd been so kind to her, that's why he'd shown so much sympathy, that's why she'd visited her so late at night, that's why he'd made sure the light of the candle would shine on his scars, that's why he'd kissed her, that's why he'd likely poured a few drops of a charming potion in all of her drinks: because he wanted her help for himself. Agda, however, was much cleverer than him.

"I didn't know I would be the one decide the outcome of the war", she shrugged when confronted with Ulfric's accusation. "By the way, I'm afraid I'll team up with Steinarius Crepusculus: he's never been tortured by the Thalmor, sure, but he's never tried to force himself on me either".

And with those words, Agda cast an invisibility spell and left Windhelm for good.


	58. Friends and foes

**A/N:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new update. It's time of important meetings for Agda - also, it's time for her to remove a few pebbles from her boots. First, however, let me thank all my amazing supporters for their lovely reviews: the answer to chapter 57 was amazing and gave me a much-needed moral boost!**

 **As for MeanE's comments, "son of a biscuit" has just become my favouritest insult ever. Also, glad you're still enjoying this story!**

 **A big "thank you" goes to KSausage for their remark on the word "Apropos". As I said before, this kind of remarks are very important to me, so keep them coming! Also, I thank you for your comments about Ulfric's personality. I did have a tough time with nailing his character, so it was good to read some constructive criticism about that.**

 **On a side note, I'm happy to see that I'm not the only GoT fan around here - Elspeth, Valtieri and KSausage, kudos to you for noticing the reference to ASOIAF! Also, I thank Elspeth for her kind comments!**

 **Speaking of thanks, I am very grateful to kaibaeskyrim for her wonderful words about chapter 57. The best instalment of the book, I'm flattered! And here I was thinking my quality standards were getting lower...**

 **As for Scepta101's comments, they had me laughing out loud in a room full of people. I love your enthusiasm and I could actually relate to it!**

 **As for Valtieri, you gave us material for two very interesting discussions. First, Ulfric's behavior: I don't think he really did try to deceit Agda - actually, I think he was just curious to see how that young mage would react to his attentions. Stealing a lover from a Captain ofthe Legion isn't that bad, especially when said lover is the Archmage of Winterhold... Jokes apart, however, before posting I was actually afraid Ulfric was a bit out of character in that chapter and for a moment I even thought of deleting that instalment altogether. You and KSausage partially confirmed that my doubts were founded, but hopefully I'll make things a bit clearer in this chapter, when Agda reflects about her encounter with Stormcloak.**

 **As for the second discussion, the one about rebels and young people, I think it's a mixture of the factors you mentioned. Young people tend to see the world in black and white and to have a lot of dreams, irrealistic as they may be; also, they (we) firmly believe in the whole "impossible is nothig" thing. Older people instead tend to be more detached and disillusioned. I guess that's why we usually consider rebels as very young people: it is easier for a teenager to feel (and act) rebellious than it is for the older generation, though Ulfric is there to prove that there are always exceptions to that general rule.**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ goes to Maddyodair for her lovely comments and her amazing support. Oh, and I love your profile pic!**

 **Back to the current instalment, I consider it rather important because it introduces the third arch of the story.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **1st of Second Seed, 4E 203**

Right after her misadventure with Ulfric, a very worried Agda hastily headed for Winterhold. For a long amount of time the girl feared for the leader of the rebels to lay siege to her town or to demand her execution to the local Jarl; yet, as the hours became days and the days became weeks, not even a member of the Stormcloaks turned up in Winterhold to claim Agda's life.

The young Archmage was actually confused by that lack of consideration. She'd expected Ulfric to be mad at her, to be outraged by her refusal, to call her "an Imperial whore" in front of the whole country; yet, the Jarl of Windhelm was behaving in a surprisingly dignified manner.

Agda's quick comeback from Windhelm was greeted with curiosity by her colleagues; yet, the young mage didn't tell anyone about the details of her meeting with Ulfric. Not only was she still too embarrassed to talk about it: she was also having troubles finding an explanation for her own behavior. Ulfric hadn't poured any special potion in her drinks - pathetic as it may sound, Agda had convinced herself of the contrary because she needed to feel less disgusted by her actions.

Being born in Anvil, the young mage was used to endless courtings characterized by gallantry and patience; the harsh life of Skyrim, however, left no time for those petty love games: when a Nord woman felt attracted to a Nord man, she usually ended up in his bed before she could even realize it. Ulfric was accustomed to that and had always considered actions to be much more valuable than words - that's why, believing that he and Agda might have something in common, on that weird night he hadn't hesitated in trying his moves on her.

The young mage still didn't know what to think of the kisses she and Ulfric had passionately exchanged. Rejecting his following advances had been a natural reaction, but Agda couldn't suppress the thought that, had she been born in Skyrim, she would have behaved in a completely different way. After all, Ulfric wasn't the monster she'd been taught to fear: he was a man who believed in his principles, who dreamed of a better future, who fought hard in order to make the world a better place - and when he'd kissed her for the first time, Agda had actually felt comfortable and flattered.

As she tossed and turned in her bed during one of her usual sleepless nights, the Archmage of Winterhold thought once again about Ulfric's kisses. She hadn't hesitated in replying to those displays of passion and deep in her heart she knew that, had the Jarl of Windhelm been a bit gentler and slower, she'd probably gone all the way through with him. When Steinarius had tried to lay his lips on hers more than a fortnight earlier, instead, Agda had immediately denied him that contact.

 _You behaved like that because you didn't want to get hurt again_ , a voice in the back of her mind tried to reassure the young mage. _You already know that Steinarius is terribly serious about relationships; moreover, you are well aware that he can be a very insensitive companion, which is the reason why you didn't kiss him. With Ulfric, instead, you allowed lust and curiosity to take over. After all, a one night-stand couldn't do you any harm..._

Agda did her best to tell herself that the voice was right; yet, she couldn't help but feel that her behavior with Ulfric had been influenced by everything she'd suffered at the hands of Ancano. The Jarl of Windhelm knew what it felt to be tortured by the Thalmor, whereas Steinarius couldn't even imagine it; that's why, for a brief and stupid moment, Agda had thought that Ulfric could be the one to help her forget her past. Now, however, the girl knew that no man in Nirn had the means to save her from her demons - if she wanted to move on, she could rely only on herself.

* * *

Led by the desire of a new, better life, Agda soon immerged herself in work.

After her meeting with Ulfric, the girl spent most of her time alone in her office or travelling through Skyrim in order to put a remedy to the damages caused by the Eye of Magnus. During her frequent journeys Agda had the chance to discover more about her homeland; also, she began taking on jobs from many different Jarls, thus allowing the College of Winterhold to gain the trust of the local population. A giant was roaming too close to the roads of the Pale? Faralda, Onmund and Brelyna would immediately intervene. A woman had just been bitten by a bear near Riften? It was Colette's chance to shine. Someone complained about the undead who were roaming through an abandoned mine near Markarth? Tolfdir, Enthir and Niryia were ready to take care of the threat.

As well as providing her colleagues with many different jobs, Agda summoned a lot of famous scholars in Winterhold, so that they could hold special lectures for her and her colleagues. Some mages accepted the invitation, others didn't - yet, those who accepted it didn't regret it at all. Thanks to those visiting teachers, the leaders of the other magic schools of Tamriel soon began to share the same opinion: the new Archmage of Winterhold was young, but she knew what she was doing.

Agda was proud of the rumours that regarded her, but at the same time she found them slightly annoying. She'd never asked to become the leader of the College and she often missed the quiet life she'd left behind upon fleeing from Wayrest; also, she hated being considered a kind of walking legend by most of the people that surrounded her. Despite those problems, however, Agda always did her best to help her school become more famous and appreciated across the whole of Tamriel.

As the months went by, the young Archmage found herself completely surrounded by foreign scholars and interesting projects. Work allowed her to take her mind off her past, therefore Agda spent most of her time discussing the results of her latest researches or venturing through ancient caves in order to unveil their secrets. Unfortunately, that meant that the young Nord never found the chance to come to terms with her demons, a fact that soon began to take a heavy toll on her personality.

To those who didn't know her well, Agda came across as a kind and friendly young woman; nonetheless, those who were well acquainted with her could tell that she had become completely unable to open up to anyone - not to her colleagues, not to her friends, not to the foreign mages who often came to Winterhold and spent a few months teaching there. One of them, a kind Imperial by the name of Jago, actually seemed able to gain Agda's affections for himself - the girl would often smile at him, listen to his lectures, spend long evenings in the library in his company. On a glorious occasion the Archmage and that talented Enchanter even spent the night together, but nothing happened during those long hours - and when Jago returned to Cyrodiil a few days later, those who hoped Agda would find a partner and retrieve her happiness were badly disappointed. That kind girl couldn't think of anything but work - and after her misadventure with Ulfric and Steinarius' departure for the Reach, her chances to build a happy life with another man were equal to zero. Not even Adaeze could break through the walls Agda had built around her: now that she'd been tasked with leading the only magical school of Skyrim, the girl seemed unable to think of anything but work, thus neglecting her private life and the nightmares that still troubled her sleepless nights.

* * *

Six months after Ancano's death, Agda still hadn't received any news from the Dragonborn. Erik and J'zhargo would often write her long letters regarding their training with Delphine, then they'd add a quick note where they mentioned Steinarius and how much he missed her; yet, the man himself seemed utterly unwilling to pick up a pen and write a short letter to Winterhold.

At first Agda was outraged and confused by Steinarius' silence; as the days became weeks and the weeks became months, however, the girl stopped worrying about it. After all, the Dragonborn was likely as busy as she was; also, his emotional instability had probably caused him to forget everything he'd told her after their fight against Ancano.

Although Agda didn't actually realize it, the lack of contact with Steinarius had a series of negative impacts on her personality.

First, the girl forgot about the existence of a thing called 'private life' and focused exclusively on her job.

Second, it made her become stern and detached, a fact that caused the nickname of "Agda the Cold" to fit her like a glove.

Third, that lack of news on Steinarius' side caused Agda to be extremely surprised when a rather relaxed Delphine turned up in Winterhold and asked for a quick chat with her.

Of all the people of Tamriel, the girl had never thought to meet her former boss again.

* * *

As she found herself face to face to Delphine, Agda asked herself whether she was daydreaming. She hadn't seen Breton in almost one year and she was surprised to notice that her former boss looked significantly older. At the same time, however, Agda immediately realized that the Head of the Blades hadn't abandoned her usual martial demeanour.

As Brelyna poured them a cup of tea and left them alone in the Headquarters of the Archmage, Agda noticed that Delphine's presence was awakening feelings she thought she'd forgotten once and for all - rage for the way that Breton had carelessly got her involved with Ancano, anger for the way she'd never bothered to visit her after she'd been tortured, hatred for the way she'd considered her nothing but a pawn in her personal war against the Thalmor. With those thoughts running through her mind, Agda found it hard not to kick the Breton out of the College without even listening to what she had to say.

"You have come a long way from Riverwood, Agda", Delphine smiled as she took her first sip of tea. She seemed oblivious of the thoughts that were racing through Agda's mind, but the young Nord knew that to the old warrior there was much more than met the eye. "You used to pour the beverages in our inn, whereas now you have someone else doing that for you", the leader of the Blades added when Agda didn't reply to her comment. "Also, this office is a true bless for an alchemist like you".

Disgusted by the little smile on the Breton's face, Agda turned to look at the little garden inside her headquarters. The girl was outraged by Delphine's calmness and was slowly starting to regret the choice of welcoming her in her office. How could that arrogant woman come back into her life and pretend that things between them were perfectly fine?

"People only see the beauty of this garden", Agda slowly said while eyeing that wonderful oasis of peace in the middle of her room. If Delphine wanted to act as though nothing had happened over the previous months, she was in for a bad surprise. "Yet, people don't see how much attention this place costs me. I have to take care of it every day, I have to use special potions to keep the plants alive, I have to make sure they have everything they need... Unfortunately, the same goes for my new role as the Archmage of Winterhold: people only see the beautiful robes I get to wear, but they don't imagine what hides behind them".

Another person would have probably been confused by that comparison, but Delphine immediately caught the hidden meaning of Agda's words.

"You were tortured, but now you're the leader of the only magic school of Tamriel. That's what you were trying to say, isn't it?"

Surprised by Delphine's quick change of strategy, Agda frowned. Rather than avoiding the unpleasant talks related to her past, the Breton had now chosen to follow the girl' suggestions and face them immediately.

"I know that you suffered a lot, Agda, but look where it got you: you could have become the fat wife of a stupid man who only needed your money and your fertility, instead you have risen through the ranks of the only magical school of Skyrim and you are currently creating your own network of power. I'd say it was worth it".

Agda scoffed at Delphine's comment. Over the previous months she'd created a potion that could perfectly hide her scars from sight and now, for the first time since she'd been tortured by Ancano, the girl regretted drinking it that morning.

"I've never asked for power, Delphine", she pointed out, her brown eyes full of rage and determination. "I only asked for a normal life where I could take decisions for myself. I never wanted to become a martyr in your war against the Thalmor".

"You didn't become a martyr, Agda - on the contrary, you gained the respect of the Thalmor themselves. Had they thought you weak, they would have already avenged Ancano and their other men".

"That is something to be happy about!", Agda humorlessly chuckled. "The Thalmor still haven't killed me, but they'll probably try to avenge their officers when I least expect it. Is that what you're trying to say?"

Delphine slowly nodded.

"Exactly. Time has a different meaning for Men and Mer: the Thalmor will wait until you feel safe and secure, then they will hurt you with all their force. I thought you should be informed".

Agda produced a weird sound between a chuckle and a snort.

"Tell me, Delphine, who gave you this important piece of information? Do you have a friend with a very strong death wish inside the Thalmor Embassy? Or did you trick another poor sod in spying the Dominion on your behalf?"

"Agda, I didn't 'trick you'. You knew who the Thalmor were and you were more than willing to..."

"I was a stupid, Delphine, and you were selfish enough to take advantage of that!", Agda suddenly shouted. She'd heard enough and had finally run out of patience. "You used me when I was at my weakest, just like the Thalmor are planning to do as soon as I lower my guard! You are just like them, or maybe you're even worse!"

Delphine chuckled, then shook her head in what looked like amusement.

"Agda, I..."

"You weren't there while I was fighting for my life, you weren't there when I recovered part of my memories, you weren't there when Steinarius almost got killed during the battle against Ancano!", Agda broke the Breton off with another scream. "You used us as though we were your own little slaves and you didn't even care about the consequences! I could have got killed, Delphine! I could have got killed and..."

"Enough, Agda, I've got this!", Delphine broke the girl off with a bored gesture. "You could have got killed, but you didn't. I may be reckless, Agda, but I always had someone keep a close eye on you. You may not remember it, but I perfectly do".

Those words had the power to stop Agda's outraged shouts alltogether.

"What do you mean that _you had someone keep a close eye on me_? And what do you know that I don't?"

Delphine reacted to those words with a chuckle. Thankfully enough, she'd managed to calm Agda down.

"I made a promise not to tell a single soul about the identity of my helper. Just know that it is the same person who helped you out too, Agda. Oh, and don't give in to Hermaeus Mora's offer: your missing memories aren't worth your soul, especially if you still dream of a life with Steinarius. Speaking of which, I'm sorry you didn't get to see each other for almost one year".

Just like Delphine had planned, the mention of Steinarius caused Agda to temporarily forget the slight reference to her missing memories.

"I needed the Dragonborn to focus on his job in these last few months, therefore I couldn't allow him to be distracted by his private life", Delphine continued once she was sure she had the girl's attention for herself. "That's why I paid a courier to steal all the letters he wrote for you - and that's why I paid that very same courier to give me the messages you wrote for the Dragonborn before he could get hold of them. In this way, you both started to believe that your favourite person in the world was ignoring you - and thanks to that misunderstanding, you soon forgot about each other and carried on with your life. Gosh, I wish I'd thought of that sooner".

As Delphine stopped talking, Agda remained completely still. She was completely at loss for words: all those months she'd thought Steinarius had forgotten her, while the truth was that that terrible hag had stolen all the letters he had written her.

"You heartless bitch...", Agda hissed once she regained the ability to talk.

"I get called like that quite a lot, Agda, so you'll forgive me if I don't get angry", Delphine smirked in reply. "Back to the reason of my visit, I'm very glad Crepusculus stopped fussing over you. Over the last few months he's turned Erik, Faendal and J'zhargo into excellent dragonhunters, he's trekked in many ruins in order to discover impressive Shouts, he's even defeated a few dragon priests so that he could learn their powers. Yet, now there is only one thing that prevents him from defeating Alduin: he needs to retrieve an Elder Scroll".

Agda frowned at the mention of that precious artifact.

"Why..."

"That isn't important. Right now, the important question is the following: I don't know anything about Elder Scrolls and the same applies to the Greybeards. We thought that someone at the College could help us and, since my team of Blades is busy slaying a dragon nearby, I have decided to pay you a visit. After all, your studies about mysterious artifacts have been getting a lot of attention lately".

There was a long moment of silence during which Agda thought of many things at once. The Thalmor were willing to murder her and were just waiting for the right moment to strike; Delphine knew what had happened to her on that long night in Dawnstar, but didn't want to tell her; Steinarius hadn't forgotten her and was approaching the final battle against Alduin; also, Delphine had come to Winterhold because she needed someone who could point her in the direction of an Elder Scroll - an Elder Scroll Steinarius would likely be forced to retrieve on her behalf.

"Why did _you_ come here?", Agda enquired, her face fixed into a frown. "Where is Steinarius? After all, I think he's the one who will be forced to find the Scroll".

That question was greeted by an amused chuckle.

"I'm glad to see that you haven't changed a bit, Agda", Delphine commented. "Even if you're the Archmage of Winterhold, you're still as naive as a common innkeeper. As I mentioned, I don't want Crepusculus to meet you and forget about his duty once again - that's why I came here in his stead. After all, he needs to be focused if he has to retrieve an Elder Scroll and use it".

"You won't help him find it?"

That question caused Delphine to chuckle.

"Agda, no one will help Crepusculus: not me, not the other Blades, not even the Greybeards. It's a matter of self-preservation: my faction is formed by people who are either too young or too old, whereas Arngeir and his gang despise violence more than anything else in the world. Also, after I ask Steinarius to carry out a certain deed on the Throat of the World, the Greybeards won't look him in the eyes anymore, let alone help him. No, Agda: Crepusculus will have to deal with Alduin on his own. After all, he is the Chosen One: if he's meant to save the world, he'll do it even without our help".

As soon as Delphine said those words, Agda finally understood what she needed to do. She was tired of that scheming hag, she was tired of her mind games, she was tired of the way she was constantly, carelessly toying with her and Steinarius' lives; that's why, with a long sigh, the Archmage of Winterhold slowly got up from her chair and pointed towards the exit of her room.

"I will not help the person who almost caused me to die", she stated with a coldness that perfectly justified her nickname. "Leave, and don't come back again".

Delphine reacted to those words with an amused chuckle. She made to speak, but before she could even realize it the Breton found herself pinned to a pillar in the middle of the room. A magic dagger immediately started swaying back and forth in front of her eyes, whereas a threatening Familiar appeared next to her and began growling in rage. Despite that situation, however, Delphine chuckled again.

"Agda, if you think you can impress me..."

"I don't want to impress you", the Archmage of Winterhold hissed in reply. "I want you to leave and never turn up in this place again, otherwise Alduin and the Thalmor will be the last of your worries".

Delphine analyzed Agda's face for what felt like a lifetime. When she found no hints of doubts hidden in her tired traits, the Breton sighed in defeat.

"I will do as you ask, Agda", she eventually gave in. "I will leave the College and I will find that Scroll without your help. Now let me go".

Confronted with that harsh command, for a brief moment Agda entertained the idea of keeping Delphine trapped in her room, of forcing her to reveal everything she knew about her missing memories, of hurting her just like Ancano had done with her. Eventually, however, the young girl couldn't bring herself to do that - after all, unlike Delphine, she wasn't a monster. Also, Agda had no idea whether she was bluffing or not.

As she was released from her restraints, thr Breton smiled. She elegantly walked towards the door, then she turned to look at Agda one last time.

"I'm proud of you, girl", she said, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "And I'm proud of me too, actually: you may hate me, but I am the one who allowed you to become the fierce woman you are today. You owe me a favor, Agda - don't you ever forget that".

And with those words, Delphine finally disappeared from Agda's life.

* * *

After her meeting with Delphine, Agda felt very weird for the rest of the afternoon. Part of her wished she'd forced the woman to reveal everything she knew about her missing memories, whereas part of her thought that the Breton had made that up in order to gain her attention. Agda also had troubles believing what the woman had told her about the Thalmor's plans for her, as she couldn't imagine how a normal spy could get access to that kind of information. Most of all, however, the girl was troubled by the news regarding Steinarius.

That night, as she was tossing and turning in her bed and thinking of the dangers the Dragonborn was about to face, Agda was distracted by a light knock on her door. When she answered it, the mage found herself face to face with a rather embarassed Brelyna.

"Archmage, I'm sorry to bother you at this time of the night, but you have a visitor".

Frowning, Agda put on a heavy cloak and followed the visibly distressed Dunmer down the flight of stairs that led to the courtyard of the College. Once there, the girl deadpanned.

Standing still in the middle of that wide area was a rather embarassed Steinarius. Agda had never seen him like that: his eyes were golden, his hair were tousled, his face and mouth were completely covered in blood. On top of that, the Imperial was wearing just an awkwardly small piece of cloth around his loin and a half-broken Amulet of Talos around his neck. No wonder Brelyna had looked so shocked after meeting him.

When Agda finally overcame her surprise and took a step towards him, Steinarius sheepishly ran a hand through his hair.

"Agda, believe me when I say that I wasn't planning to turn up in Winterhold half-naked", he said before the girl could ask him anything. "Actually, I wasn't planning to turn up in Winterhold at all. It's just... I had a very bad argument with Delphine and now I need somewhere to sleep".

It took a couple of seconds for those words to sink in. When they did, Agda frowned - judging from his state, Steinarius had probably turned into a werewolf after his argument with Delphine.

"The blood around your mouth..."

"Not Delphine's", Steinarius immediately clarified. "I'm afraid I took my rage out on a poor elk. You... you don't happen to have a free bed in the College, right? I should have probably gone to the inn, but I'm afraid they would have called the guards upon noticing that I'm almost naked. I know that for some reason you didn't reply to any of the letters I sent you over the last six months, but I thought that maybe..."

Steinarius didn't get to finish that sentence: when Agda ran towards him and threw her arms around his neck, he could only smile and hold her tight to his chest.

* * *

Agda watched as Steinarius nervously paced up and down her room. The man had taken a bath and was now dressed in the civilian clothes the girl had found in an old crate. Although it had been more than a hour since his arrival in Winterhold, the Dragonborn's eyes were still golden with rage.

"That bitch", he said once Agda was done telling him about her recent encounter with Delphine. "Stealing all of our letters so that we couldn't speak to each other... There should be a Plane of Oblivion for people like her".

Agda nodded. That long day had been full of surprises and seeing Steinarius after six long months had probably been the best one.

"When you didn't reply to my letters, I even gave up the idea of visiting you in Winterhold", the man went on explaining her. "Actually, I avoided this place like plague because I thought you were angry at me. That bitch!"

When Steinarius began insulting Delphine once again, Agda sighed.

"Stein, you've been here for more than an hour, but you still haven't told me why you argued with Delphine. You've put up with her for almost two years, why did you suddenly snap?"

Confronted with that question, the man finally stopped walking and looked Agda in the eyes.

"You know how it works with Delphine: she treats people like puppets, that's what she does - and she's fucking good at it too. Somehow, that bitch made me believe she was the only one who could help me defeat Alduin. She forced me to train hard every day, so that now I'm as ready to face my calling as I'll ever be. I've become faster, stronger, heavier... Geez, none of my old shirts fits me anymore!"

When Steinarius opened his arms to underline that comment, Agda immediately noticed the slight changes in his physique. The Imperial had a lean and agile built that no training could ever change; yet, after spending six months with Delphine, the muscles on his torso and on his arms had become even more defined than before.

"As well as training my body, Delphine forced me to study a lot of books about dragons. She said it would help me and, as a matter of fact, it actually did - at least, now I know more about the dragon cult and the heroes of old. Also, during my time with Delphine I learned powerful Shouts and visited ancient temples in order to discover more about dragon priests. On top of that, Delphine forced me to kill a dragon once every three days, whereas Esbern created powerful potions that could increase my strength. Thanks to them, I've basically become a dragonslaying machine with the ability to breath and talk".

"It doesn't sound so bad", Agda carefully said. "Why did you argue with them then?"

Confronted with that question, Steinarius scoffed.

"Agda, during the last six months Delphine has tried to turn me against the Greybeards in every possible way. She and I had our ups and downs, and most of the downs were connected to this topic.

"Delphine considers the monks to be her enemies just because I trust them. That hag often tried to cause arguments between me and Arngeir, but she never succeeded. Angered by that situation, Delphine has given me an ultimatum: if I don't want her to kick me out of the Blades, I'll have to kill the leader of the Greybeards".

For the umpteenth time in that long day, Agda's jaw dropped to the ground because of the shock.

"DELPHINE DID WHAT? BUT ARNGEIR..."

"Agds, Arngeir isn't the true eader of the Greybeards", Steinarius slowly said. He was choosing the words with great care, a fact that Agda didn't fail to notice. "Actually, the true leader of the Greybeards isn't what you'd expect him to be at all. He's old, incredibly old, and he has a bit of a shady past. That's why Delphine wants me to kill him: because she doesn't accept that people can overcome the evil that lies in their hearts. Also, this is the exact reason why she asked me, of all people, to carry out the deed: to her, I am already rotten, as I am Dragonborn and werewolf and Champion to a couple Daedras. What difference would it make to add _murderer_ to the list of monstruosities that already describe me?"

"Stein, you are not a monster", Agda softly said in reply to her friend's question.

"No, of course not", the man humorlessly chuckled. "I came here in my werewolf form and scared the lives out of a few travellers, but I'm not a monster. Also, I might have caused poor J'zhargo to give up on Skooma, as he probably saw me shift while I was still inside our camp. And don't forget that I hurt Delphine rather badly".

Agda frowned at that.

"You attacked her?"

"She forced me to!", Steinarius said with a very defensive tone. "She'd positioned herself in front of the exit to her tent and wouldn't get out of my way. When she went for her dagger, I shouted her off her feet and she might have accidentally ended up in the pile of dirt our horses produced during our stay in that camp. I didn't do it on purpose, though!"

With great efforts, Agda managed to stifle a laughter.

"Well, at least she had a soft landing", she smirked. "She didn't deserve it, though".

Steinarius was silent for a brief moment, then he let out a quick laugh that reminded Agda of a bark. A moment later, however, he surprised the girl by grabbing the cloak she had provided him and putting it around his shoulders.

"It's two o'clock in the morning, but I'm still too angry to sleep", he announced. "Since I don't want to spend the rest of the night cursing Delphine and the way she kicked me out of the Blades after all I did for her, I think I'll go to the library and find out more about the Elder Scrolls. After all, they're the last thing that keeps me from slaying Alduin".

Agda carefully analyzed Steinarius' face. That long day had been full of surprises for both of them: Delphine had tried to use them for their own means, but the two friends had finally succeeded in breaking free of her chains. Agda was very happy about it, but she could tell that Steinarius had mixed feelings - after all, it wasn't easy to give up on the Blades after spending half a year training them and teaching them how to become dragonhunters.

When Steinarius eventually walked towards the door, Agda did something the Imperial hadn't been expecting: she called his name, then she got up from her seat and opened one of the many cupboards of her room. When she found what she was looking for, the girl finally returned to Steinarius.

"Delphine visited me because I have recently made a research about the Elder Scrolls", the girl explained. "During that study I asked one of my colleagues to visit a former mage of the College. The guy is as mad as a hat, but he provided us with the answers you need to defeat Alduin. There is one Elder Scroll in Skyrim and it is hidden in one of the worst places of whole Tamriel".

As Agda spoke, Steinarius slowly approached her. He exploited his height to take a look at the map the girl was holding in her hands, then he frowned.

"Blackreach", he said in a low, angry hiss. "I'll have to go to Blackreach. And now that I've been kicked out of the Blades, I won't even be able to count on Erik and the others".

" _We_ will go to Blackreach, Stein", Agda was quick to correct her friend. "After all the efforts I made to get this map, I'm not keen on letting let you take all the glory for yourself".

As he heard those words, Steinarius thought that Agda was making fun of him. Yet, as he looked in her brown eyes and saw the determination that burnt there, the man felt his heart swell with joy.

Despite Delphine's tricks, that young mage was still on his side.


	59. Back to basics

**Author's Note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with another update. I apologize for my absence and in reply to Guest' review, I must say that "I no update" because of work, flu, writer's block, Dragon Age Inquisition and much more. Yet, here I finally am - and with me there are also Agda, Steinarius and their problems.**

 **First of all, a huge thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers. I'm glad MeanE enjoys the way I make vanilla characters slimey, as it is one of the things I like the most about writing fanfics. Also, I agree with msyendor about Delphine being the perfect Champion for Mephala. I once tried to charge the Blade of Woe, but I had to delete the save because I felt guilty!**

 **Also, I'm very happy Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim enjoyed Steinarius' glorious entrance and his hug with Agda. This chapter will have a few more hugs, so be ready for it!**

 **As for Valtieri's review, I am really glad to read that, in your opinion, chapter 58 was the best one in the book. I particularly adore chapter 28 (the one when Agda gets mad at Steinarius and they break up) and now I'm very curious to know what the others think of this; therefore, here's my question: what's your favourite chapter of the story so far? If you want to answer, feel free to write a review or send me a PM.**

 **Back to Valtieri, don't worry for the Harry Potter references - I'm a big fan of the canon series, so I'm very familiar with books/movies. While writing about Delphine stealing the letters, I was actually aware I was "stealing" the idea from someone else - and thanks to you, I have finally realized who my muse was. Also, thank you for pointing out how useless the Blades are now that Stein has left them. Weird as it may sound, I had never thought of that!**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ goes to DracoOblivion. Your reviews allowed me to know more about myself as a writer and about the feelings my readers may experience while dealing with this fanfic. Also, they allowed me to take a wonderful trip down Memory Lane, as they reminded me of my own thoughts while I was writing the first part of this story.**

 **In order to thank you for putting up with my long absence, here's a rather long (at least for my standard) update. It is a transiction instalment that prepares a lot of greater events, but hopefully you will like it anyway.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **11th of Second Seed, 4E 202**

After his argument with Delphine, Steinarius felt free for the first time in months. Ever since killing Ancano, the man had been caught in the Breton's net: he had namely accepted to serve the Blades as head of the recruits and had also taken advantage of Esbern's experience in order to improve his shape for the final battle against Alduin. The old man had always been kind to Steinarius, whereas Delphine had always used him for her own means - a thing the Dragonborn realized when it was already too late.

Of all the things he'd suffered at the hands of the Breton, Steinarius especially couldn't get over the way she had heartlessly hidden the letters he'd sent to Agda. He'd often asked the young woman to visit him, he'd volunteered to spend a few days in Winterhold just to stay close to her, he had even written long pages in which he tried to remind her of his affection for her, of his interest in her happiness, of the way he was always ready to help her get over the demons from her past - and Steinarius felt outraged at knowing that all those words and invitations had never received by the muse who had inspired them in the first place. Actually, the man wasn't simply outraged by that discovery: he also felt completely and utterly betrayed. Despite all their arguments, Steinarius had trusted Delphine - and knowing that she had toyed with his life made him angry and confused.

"And now that Delphine has kicked me out of the Order, Erik and the others don't even have the means to kill a dragon for good!", he'd often shout at the end of his long rants.

Agda would nod and sigh, then she would try to change topic of conversation. The Archmage never talked about her own feelings towards Delphine – rather than wasting time ranting about things she couldn't change, the young woman namely preferred organizing the expedition to Blackreach.

Steinarius was surprised by the changes his best friend had undergone in the previous six months. Agda was kind and friendly, but the Imperial didn't fail to notice that she was much more nervous and detached than usual: she often got angry at her apprentices, she often got distracted while he was talking, she always turned him down when he asked her out for dinner – and when Steinarius heard Colette call her "Agda the Cold", he realized he wasn't the only one who seemed unable to break through the girl's high walls.

For some time, the Dragonborn thought that Agda's weird behavior depended on her worries for their upcoming task. In order to tackle the expedition of Blackreach in the best possible way, the young mage spent many a hour reading about Falmer and Dwemer and old Nordic legends; also, she tried to create a little group of volunteers that would help her and the Dragonborn during the exploration of Blackreach. The girl now had a lot of experience under her belt, but the thought of venturing in that dangerous place somehow made her unease. Sadly enough, Agda wasn't the only one who didn't feel safe inside old Dwemer ruins – and when she asked her colleagues and friends for help, no one lent her a hand. Steinarius reacted to the news with a shrug, whereas the girl felt hurt and disappointed.

"We've already made it out of Labyrinthian on our own", the man told her in a weak attempt to cheer her up. "We will face this challenge together and we'll achieve our aim without problems".

Unfortunately, Agda didn't seem to share that opinion. When Steinarius told her that he was sure they'd make it out of Blackreack unscathed, the girl actually rolled her eyes and stormed out of his room. The Dragonborn was shocked by that behavior – and a few days later, when he returned from a visit to Septimus Signus' hideout, he was even more shocked by Agda's cold greeting. The sweet innkeeper he had learned to love had seemingly disappeared once and for all – and in her wake she had left a detached woman who constantly zigzagged between moments of kindness and sudden outbursts of rage.

* * *

"You could have used our boat, you know".

Surprised by that remark, Steinarius gave Agda a baffled look and abandoned the towel he was using to dry his hair.

"Our boat?"

The young mage looked at the Dragonborn with a mixture of tiredness and exhaustion. She and Steinarius were meant to leave for Blackreach in a couple of days and the man had just returned from a visit to Septimus Signus' hideout. The mage was a true expert in Elder Scrolls, but he was also as mad as a hat. Steinarius had asked him a few information about his upcoming task and had been rather surprised by Septimus' close association with Daedras.

"The boat of the College, Stein", Agda explained the Imperial. The man didn't miss the hint of exasperation in her voice. "When I went to visit that Septimus maniac, I didn't swim all the way to his shelter".

Steinarius was surprised by that revelation. Not only had he ignored the existence of a boat he could use to get to Septimus Signus' hideout - he had also been told that Agda had never visited that crazy old man. Considering Septimus's close relationship to Hermaeus Mora, that discovery caused the Dragonborn to frown. He hadn't forgotten the nightmares Agda had once mentioned to him and he was afraid the girl could have striked some inconvenient deal with the Daedric Lord of Memory and Knowledge.

"You'll catch a cold if you don't hurry and finally get out of those wet clothes", the Archmage of Winterhold continued after a short moment of silence. Due to his surprise, Steinarius had remained speechless and had temporarily forgotten about the pool of water that was currently forming at his feet. "Also, your new armor may become rusty already".

As he listened to those words, Steinariu forgot about his stupor. After his argument with Delphine, the Imperial had turned into a werewolf and stormed out of their campsite – and by doing so, he had left his precious Blade armor behind. Luckily enough, Agda had asked the blacksmith of Winterhold to create him a strong set of steel armor, which she had later enchanted with defensive spells.

"Really Stein, I don't know why you decided to swim all the way to that cave when you could have simply asked me for a better way", the girl continued her rant as Steinarius finally shed his cuirass and replaced it with a dry shirt. "Also, I don't...".

"Agds, you don't have to worry about my health", the Dragonborn replied while hiding behind a wall in order to put on his trousers. "Werewolves don't get sick. Also, my dragon blood provides me with warmth even when I swim in frozen waters. By the way, I didn't know you had visited Septimus. Urag told me that Tolfdir went there on your behalf".

Steinarius had tried to mention that topic in a tactful way, but he soon realized that his efforts had been in vain.

"Urag lied", Agda namely replied. The girl looked rather annoyed by her friend's inquiries. "Still, I don't understand why you're so worried about it".

"I'm not worried", Steinarius promptly said while leaving his shelter. The man was now completely clothed and dry. "I just don't get why Urag would lie to me".

To the Dragonborn's shock, Agda replied to his words with a humorless chuckle.

"Think harder, then you'll understand why my man wasn't sincere. Don't get a nosebleed, though: I know warriors sometimes have a hard time using their brains rather than their muscles".

Taken aback by Agda's harsh and bitter tone, Steinarius grimaced. He'd grown accustomed to her snappiness, but rudeness was something totally new to him.

"Agds, Septimus seems to be entangled with Daedras – and you know how dangerous they can be".

"Said the man who sold his soul to Hircine and Hermaeus Mora", the girl scoffed. "By the way, Steinarius, I really don't get why you're so worried. You're incredibly apprehensive for a man who didn't even try to meet me for more than six months".

Those words caused Steinarius' frown to get even deeper. _Here we go again,_ he thought. He and Agda had faced that topic multiple times in the previous days, but the girl had never got angry at him. That day, however, the Archmage seemed determined to make the Imperial feel sorry for his long absence from her life.

"You didn't try to meet me either", Steinarius pointed out while trying to keep his irritation in check. "And to say that you were in Markarth more than once over the last few weeks. The headquarters of the Blades are just a couple of miles away from the city".

"And you were in Dawnstar less than one month ago, Stein. It takes less than a day to get to Winterhold from there – and it takes less than three hours if you're a werewolf".

As he noticed the obstinate look on Agda's face, Steinarius sighed.

"Agda, there's no use in arguing because of Delphine. That witch tried to turn us against each other, but our friendship is stronger than her".

"Is it?" As Agda posed him that question, Steinarius deadpanned. "Steinarius, I'm afraid I'm not the same person you once knew", the girl added when she understood that the Imperial had been shocked by her words. "And I think it's time for you to realize it".

This time it was Steinarius' turn to let out a humorless chuckle. He had heard the rumors regarding 'Agda the Cold' and the way the Archmage of Winterhold supposedly tried to drive everyone away from her, but he had never thought them to be true.

"You think you've changed just because they call you 'Agda the Cold', don't you? If that is the case …"

"Stein, they call me 'Agda the Cold' because _I am_ cold", Agda bitterly replied. "And it didn't help that my best friend abandoned me when I needed him the most".

"Agda, I didn't abandon you!", Steinarius protested while trying to keep his calm. The werewolf inside him was getting annoyed at Agda's accusations, but the Imperial was keen on using his brains rather than letting his inner beast take over. "I do care about you and I never wanted to leave you. You are well aware of that, so I think it's utterly unfair for you to criticize me just because my boss made me think that you were angry at me. You know that Delphine is…"

"I know only one thing, Stein: Delphine has proved me that you don't have a spine", Agda surprisingly broke her friend off. "You thought I was angry at you? Then you could have come here and ask me why I wasn't replying to your letters. Instead, you took the easy way out and simply believed I no longer needed you. I do realize I am a nuisance, but…"

"Agds, what are you talking about? You're not a nuisance to me! Damn it, Agds, you're the most important woman of my life!"

There was a moment of silence, during which Agda bitterly shook her head.

"I suppose it doesn't matter now, does it?", she asked with another of those humorless chuckles Steinarius had slowly grown to hate. "By the way, worry not: I have visited Septimus Signus, but I won't end up in Apocrypha. I namely turned down Hermaeus Mora's offer to join him".

Steinarius let out a relieved sigh, whereas Agda simply grabbed a book and turned her back to him.

"It's been a long day and I'm very tired", she announced before the man could say anything else. "Also, we're leaving for Blackreach in three days time. It would be wise to get some rest".

And with those words, the mage abandoned Steinarius' room and retreated inside her shelter.

* * *

That night, as she tossed and turned in her bed, Agda felt on the brink of tears. She didn't know what had got into her that afternoon: Steinarius had always been kind to her and she'd been sincerely happy when she had seen him for the first time in six months. Yet, the demons in her head had been quick to cause that argument and destroy her joy.

Over the previous months Agda had done everything in her power to gain the unpopular nickname of 'Agda the Cold'. She now carried that title like a crown and often told herself how proud she was of her detachment, of her independence, of her ability of dealing with problems without relying on anyone else; yet, as she got ready to another lonely night full of nightmares and insomnia, the girl realized that over the previous months she had simply _pretended_ to be happy. Life had taught her not to trust anyone but herself: Delphine had used her for her own means, her colleagues helped her only when they needed a promotion, her own mother had tried to sell her to a man she didn't even know – and now that Steinarius was back, Agda didn't know what to do. His presence often caused her to lower her guard, but lowering her guard made her unable to defend herself from all those who wanted to exploit her for their own means – and after all she'd suffered in her life, the Archmage of Winterhold wasn't going to repeat that mistake.

 _No_ , she thought as she finally found a comfortable position. _I don't need anyone in my life – especially not a man as troubled and troubling as the Dragonborn_.

And with that thought in her mind, Agda slowly drifted in Vaermina's realm.

* * *

Steinarius gave the entrance of Alftand a worried look, almost as though he was expecting the door to start vomiting Falmer and Chauri and many other foul creatures ready to attack him and turn him into pieces. Next to him, Agda was equally concerned.

As he looked at her from the corner of his eye, Steinarius noticed that the Archmage was wearing her usual robes and a scarf. The girl seemed to disappear beneath those heavy clothes but, despite the warmth that was clearly radiating from them, she often shivered because of the low temperature. Steinarius thought of lending her his own scarf, but he changed his mind at the last moment – after their discussion from three days earlier, they still hadn't made peace.

As he gripped the hilt of his sword and finally walked inside the ruins, the Dragonborn frowned. The place smelled of death and decay.

"You said that some archaeologists were carrying out a research here", he diffidently told Agda. Ever since their argument, the two of them only spoke about their task. "I don't see anyone though".

"Onmund and Brelyna told me there was a snowstorm here the other day", the Archmage replied. "Maybe the scholars found shelter inside the ruins".

Steinarius frowned. He didn't like that idea at all.

Walking on his tiptoes, the man carefully stepped inside the hut the archaelogists had used as a basis for their exploration. The place was cold and half of it had been destroyed by the snowstorm Agda had mentioned.

"Do you think we'll find anyone alive?"

In reply to his question, Agda cast a quick life-detect spell. None of them was surprised when magic showed that they were the only living-beings inside that place.

The expedition to Blackreach was beginning in the worst possible way.

* * *

To tell the truth, a few minutes later Agda and Steinarius did come across another living-being. One of the archaeologists, a young Khajiti, was namely talking out loud to someone.

Worried by the tension in the boy's voice, Agda and Steinarius exchanged a worried glance. They slowly reached the Khajit and, as they did, they were both shocked by what they saw: the crazy creature was namely talking to the corpse of his brother as though it were still alive. Moved by that sight, both Agda and Steinarius hoped they could do something to help the poor Khajit. When he attacked them, however, they had no choice but to kill him.

As they proceeded towards the entry to the Dwemer ruins, the two companions grew even more silent and worried. The remaining members of the expedition had decided to avoid the snowstorm by finding shelter inside Alftand – and if their experience meant anything, both Agda and Steinarius knew they were about to come across their corpses.

Venturing through the ancient Dwemer ruins of Alftand was as scary as both of them had predicted. Steinarius was focused on his own actions, but couldn't ignore the fear he felt every time Agda confronted an enemy without his aid. The mage fought in a calm and rational way, without wasting too much energy and without using too many spells. Her Atronachs were incredibly lethal, and so were her traps – and shielded by them, Agda could drown her opponents in a sea of fire before they could even realize what had hit them.

Steinarius was fascinated by this new side of Agda, but at the same time he was slightly scared by the changes the girl had undergone. Even when confronted with the tortured corpse of an archaeologist, the woman didn't even flinch: she just shrugged, then she turned her back to the dead elf and carried on with her task.

With a frown, Steinarius wondered what had happened the the sympathetic woman he had once known.

* * *

As she and Steinarius made their way through the ruins of Altand, Agda experienced different feelings. She felt safe knowing that the most lethal warrior of Tamriel was by her side, but at the same time she tried not to rely on him. Steinarius was a deadly warrior and, when she looked at him fight, Agda couldn't help but feel admired by his swift and confident movements, by his sheer force, by the elegance he put in his attacks despite the fact that his life was at stake; at the same time, however, the girl perfectly remembered that the Dragonborn was the clumsiest person she knew, a fact that prevented her from lowering her guard.

After a whole day of trekking, the young Archmage was nearly exhausted. Dwemer ruins were dark and damp and scary and Agda was tired of being alert all the time; also, even though she had now become a very good fighter, her physical shape still didn't allow her to jog through dangerous places for too many hours in a row.

Luckily enough, Steinarius seemed weary too. The Dragonborn knew that Agda was too proud to admit that she was exhausted, so he decided to stop for the night as soon as the first wave of tiredness washed over him. The unlikely couple found shelter in an abandoned room where they ate some cold meat and prepared for the night. Steinarius would have liked to keep guard for the whole time, but Agda was keen on taking the first shift.

Later that evening, long after he'd exchanged place with the girl, the Dragonborn sighed. Agda seemed troubled by nightmares and, when he heard her whimper in what sounded like fear, Steinarius couldn't take it anymore: he walked up to her, sat down beside her and covered her with his blanket. Agda didn't wake, but the warmth of the wool succeeded in calming her down: she stopped tossing and turning in her bedroll and finally seemed to find a comfortable position.

Satisfied by the relieved expression on her face, Steinarius gathered his courage and gently caressed her cheeks. He could feel Agda' scars under his fingertips and, now that the effects of her usual potions had worn out, he could also see the pale marks Ancano had left all over her face. As he did, the Dragonborn took a decision. He had already risked to lose Agda more times than he could count; now, however, he was ready to try everything he could to give her the peace and the happiness she so clearly deserved.

* * *

Agda woke to the pleasing aroma of fresh bread with marmalade. Steinarius had already made her breakfast, a fact that caused her to frown.

"You shouldn't have bothered", she claimed, coldness well evident in her voice. "I can cook too, you know".

The man didn't say anything: he just shrugged, then he resumed crunching his own loaf of bread. Agda made to comment on his rudeness, but only then did she notice the woolen blanket that was covering her. The cloth was warm and soft and smelled like lavender, juniper and nightshade – and as she took in that detail, Agda understood that Steinarius had lent her his blanket.

"Why…"

"You were cold", the Imperial broke her off. "After all, I suppose there's a reason if they call you _Agda the Cold_ ".

There was a moment of tense silence during which Agda thought of the implications behind Stein's words. Was he making fun of her or did he want to make her smile? Either way, the girl eventually took a big breath and decided to forget her pride.

"Thank you", she said, her voice much softer than she'd planned.

Steinarius replied with a tiny nod and, although he was trying to be neutral about her reply, Agda didn't miss the sparkle of happiness in his grey eyes. Unbeknowest to her, the Dragonborn had just begun smashing through the high walls she'd built around her during the previous six months.

* * *

The second day in Alftand proceeded just like the first one. As they ventured deeper inside the ruins, Agda and Steinarius came across many enemies; yet, that didn't seem to bother them and they even succeeded in taking care of threatening opponents like Chauri and Centurions.

To his surprise, the Dragonborn had to admit that the two of them formed a very good team: Agda could hit their enemies from the distance, whereas he could dispatch them in close combat. Also, the girl had spells that warned them of traps, whereas the Imperial used his werewolf senses to detect nearby threats. Together, the two explorers felt almost invincible.

Despite their alliance, Steinarius and Agda had to face a few difficult moments during their adventure through Alftand. Facing the Falmer hidden in the so-called Cathedral was much more dangerous than predicted, whereas killing the last two surviving archaeologists took a heavy burden on their morael. Steinarius wished they wouldn't get down to that, but Umana and Sulla attacked Agda as soon as the young mage tried to speak to them – and when the warriors launched towards her friend, the Imperial was quick to protect her and dispatch the two enemies. Agda gave him a crossed look, but she didn't comment – just like Steinarius, she knew he had no other choices.

In an attempt to please the man, the Archmage showed him the beautiful shield sported by Umana. It was a rare item with spikes and studs that made it perfect for defense as well as for attacking; yet, Steinarius abandoned it with the corpse of its previous owner. He felt bad for killing Umana and had no wish to take her shield as a constant reminder of his guilt.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Agda and Steinarius finally gained access to Blackreach. As they took a first glimpse of that legendary place, both of them deadpanned: they had never seen anything so big, so majestic, so breathtaking. The two of them were many miles underground, in a place surrounded by legends and mystery, alone against a surreal landscape that was probably full of things that wanted to kill them; yet, right then the adventurers didn't feel any worry, as the awe for that amazing discovery was enough to overcome their concerns.

The first one to feel intimated by the size of the ruins was Steinarius. He knew that Elder Scrolls were usually hidden in dangerous places and he was sure that his entuthiasm for Blackreach would fade in less than ten minutes. That place was cold and dark and damp and his grey eyes were having troubles adjusting to the light; also, his werewolf senses seemed overrun by the many feelings that washed over him at once.

Beside Steinarius, Agda looked equally worried. At the same time, however, the reason for her concern was very peculiar. The Archmage wasn't afraid of the creatures that lurked in Blackreach - she was afraid she would be unable to discover all the secrets hidden in that wide area.

As she carefully walked towards a little hut in the middle of a field, Agda felt unable to close her jaw. The huge mushrooms around her, the deep river she could see in the distance, the very air she was breathing... everything was strange and exotic and she felt the desire to know more about that marvellous place that was so different from the rest of Tamriel. At the same time, however, the Archmage soon realized that there was at least one thing she didn't like about Blackreach. The mushrooms that spread their light all over the place namely had the property to make her scars visible. No matter what spells she used or what potions she drank: every time she raised her arms, Agda could see the marks Ancano had left on her skin almost one year earlier. That discovery was a low blow to the girl's morale - and things got even worse when she and Steinarius started arguing about what to do next.

"I think we should start exploring this place", the young mage stated when the man asked for her opinion. "No one has set foot here in centuries and..."

To Agda's annoyance, the Dragonborn immediately broke her off.

"Agds, we're not here to explore this place", he pointed out. "I just want to find my Elder Scroll and be on my way before the creatures lurking around here can notice our presence".

Agda was shocked by that answer. Since when had Steinarius become less brave than her? And most important, how could she exploit that fact to have him do as she pleased?

"Are you scared?", the Archmage asked him, sarcasm well evident in her voice.

Confronted with that question, Steinarius looked Agda in the eyes. He knew what she was trying to do: she wanted to rely on his pride and have him do exactly what she wanted. Yet, the previous six months had helped the Dragonborn become much more mature than he once was; as a consequence, he immediately understood his friend' strategy.

"Yes, I'm actually very scared - which is why I think we should follow the main road and go straight to our target. Septimus mentioned a tower and it won't be easy to find one in this huge place".

When Agda frowned, Steinarius realized he had taken her by surprise. She was beautiful, the man noticed in that weird moment of silence. Even with the scars on her cheeks made evident by the huge mushrooms nearby, even with that frown wrinkling her forehead, even with that mixture of surprise and confusion and resentment painted on her face, the young mage namely managed to attract the Imperial with her feminine curves, her dark blonde curls and her deep brown eyes - eyes which were currently giving the Dragonborn a rather angry look.

The weird moment of silence continued until Agda scoffed.

"As you wish, Dragonborn", she bitterly said. "We'll follow the main road. If our enemies spot us as soon as we get there, however, don't look at me for help".

Steinarius smiled. It was time he showed Agda what he had learned over the previous months.

* * *

Although Agda had been sure of the contrary, Steinarius had no desire to actually set foot on the main road of Blackreach. The Imperial namely believed that many of his enemies probably patrolled the area; that's why, rather than risking to come across them, the Dragonborn decided to follow the main road while keeping himself at a distance he considered safe - and that implied walking along that paved path while remaining in the darkness.

After following that plan for a few minutes, Agda had to admit that it wasn't that bad. There were giants and Dwemer automatons patrolling the road, therefore keeping off of it had been a very good idea. At the same time, Blackreach was much bigger than predicted and the main road provided her and Steinarius with precious help every time they had to use their orientation skills.

"We should go back to the hut we saw as soon as we reached this place", Steinarius suddenly said. They'd been walking for more than an hour and Agda was surprised to hear him ask for a pause. "It looked like a safe shelter".

"Are you tired?"

With a grimace, Steinarius nodded.

"There's something weird in this place. It's cold and damp and my werewolf senses receive too much information at once; add that to the fact that tonight I didn't sleep well, and you'll understand why I am so tired. Also, I think we need to make a clever plan for exploring this area without wasting too much energy. After all, I don't want to spend the rest of my life here".

Agda was surprised by Steinarius' admission of tiredness. The air in Blackreach was weird, she could feel it too, but she didn't find the cold and the dampness annoying - on the contrary, she thought they were a nice change in comparison to the smell of dust and decay that reigned in Alftand.

On her way back to the hut, the Archmage suddenly caught a glimpse of something she'd never seen before. It looked like a normal Nirnroot, but it was crimson - and as soon as she realized that, Agda forgot Steinarius' long rants about prudence and hastily walked towards the small plant.

Before the man could hiss any warning in her direction, the young mage had already crouched beside that weird root and had started revelling in the beautiful music coming from that rare alchemy ingredient. Yet, before she could do anything else, Agda found herself face-to-face with a baby Chaurus - and before she could even open her mouth in surprise, the insect had already spat poison at her. When the liquid came in contact with her eyes, the mage let out a shrill scream and covered her face with her hands.

Agda's desperate yell was enough for Steinarius to defeat the horror that had temporarily paralyzed him. Forgetting his desire to pass unnoticed, the Dragonborn used a powerful Shout that caused the Chaurus to catch fire; a moment later, as the creature tried to escape the flames that were devouring its body, the Imperial thrust his sword through its skull, thus killing it once and for all.

Despite that success, Steinarius had no time to rejoice: he was worried about Agda and immediately crouched down beside her. Her face was covered in poison, therefore the man hastily used his cloak to clean most of it. Once that operation was over, the girl threw herself in his arms and began trembling like a leaf.

"It's okay Agds, I've got you", Steinarius whispered in an attempt to calm the young mage. Thanks to the hand that was currently resting on her back, the Imperial could feel her heart beating wildly in her ribcage. He wasn't surprised: after all, his own heart was thudding just as loudly. "Let's go back to the shelter now, otherwise..."

"I can't... I can't open my eyes!", Agda hissed, terror well evident in her voice. "That beast..."

Frowning in worry, Steinarius broke the embrace and looked at Agda once again. Luckily enough, the poison of small chauri wasn't enough to disfigure enemies or to corrode their flesh; yet, it could be sufficient to make a grown person blind.

Keeping that thought to himself, Steinarius took Agda in his arms and carried her to a safer place. They had made a lot of noise during their battle against the Chaurus and Steinarius didn't want to face another threat in such a delicate moment.

Luckily enough, the place the Dragonborn had chosen was near a beautiful river. Although he didn't trust the color, the Imperial had no choice but to use its water to clean Agda's eyelids from the poison.

"Am I hurting you?", Steinarius asked when the girl suddenly pulled a grimace. Probably moved by the worry in his voice, the girl shook her head.

"No, it's just... The water is cold".

Steinarius felt a tingle of relief: the poison hadn't been strong enough to numb Agda's skin, so it was very unlikely to cause her any permanent damage.

When the mage's face was completely cleaned from poison, the Dragonborn finally asked her to open his eyes. Agda was visibly hesitant at following his suggestion, but she eventually decided to trust him.

When she raised her eyelids, the girl was greeted by Steinarius' troubled expression. The man was pale and seemed to have aged a lot over the previous few minutes.

"Can you see me?"

Agda nodded and, as soon as she did, she was enveloped by Steinarius' strong arms.

"Thank Talos!", the Imperial sighed as he held the young mage tight to his chest.

Agda noticed the worry and the relief in his voice and suddenly felt sorry for doubting his orders, for criticizing his suggestions, for arguing with him because of Delphine. Ashamed by the way she had tried to drive her best friend away from her, the girl shivered in guilt.

"Can we go back to the hut now?", she asked, her fleeble voice still full of fear and worry and guilt. "I am afraid I am tired too".

Agda felt Steinarius smile and nod against her shoulder, then she watched as he broke their embrace and crouched once again in front of her. The man made to say something, but then he seemingly changed his mind and got up from the ground. He helped Agda, then he unsheated his sword and resumed walking towards their destination. Fearing that the mage may have troubles with her sight, however, he turned around after a few steps and offered the girl his hand.

"The light is weird here, so it is better if I help you", he explained. "I think your sight may take a while to go back to normality".

Despite the darkness, Agda could tell that Steinarius was looking at her with nervousness. _Perhaps he is afraid I will turn down his offer_ , she thought. _Over the last few days I haven't been kind to him at all._

Moved by that realization, Agda immediately took Steinarius' hand in hers. The man mumbled something and gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze, then resumed walking towards his target.

As she noticed the relieved smile on his lips, Agda got closer to him and rested her head against his arm.

"I'm sorry for behaving like a stupid for the whole time", she muttered.

At first Steinarius didn't say anything: he just looked at Agda, then he sighed.

"And I'm sorry it took a Chaurus to make you realize you can trust me", he eventually said. "It means that you've gone through too much, Agds, and that's something I cannot accept. If people have succeeded in turning a sweet woman like you in a detached Archmage, then maybe I should allow Alduin to end the world for good".

As she heard those words and looked Steinarius in his placid grey eyes, Agda felt a shiver run down her spine. For the first time in her life, she finally realized the huge burden her friend had been tasked with; also, right then the young mage swore to herself that she would never allow her pride to build a wall between her and the Dragonborn again.


	60. Coming home

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new chapter to make up for my long absence from last month. First, however, let me thank all of those who were kind enough to leave a review on my previous instalment.**

 **I really have to thank miketech for their opinion and for pointing out my (ab)use of the word 'namely'. I have a lot of problems with this damned word, so I've decided that from now on I'll use it as little as possible. Thank you for so much for the hint and the constructive criticism!**

 **As for Valtieri, I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who hated Sinderion - actually, his death in Skyrim made me feel guilty for hating him so much during Oblivion.**

 **Also, Agda was acting weird indeed during chapter 59, but I blame it on the whole "Agda the Cold" issues. Hopefully she wasn't too out of character! As for the dragon, I see you already know what is going to happen in chapter 61 for courtesy of Stein the Clumsy ahah!**

 **As for Guest, I really have to thank you for writing one of the best reviews I've ever received. Not only did it make me squeal in delight - it also made me tear up. I love Agda and Stein so much and I'm so glad I managed to pass that on to my readers!**

 **As for Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim, I'm really happy you enjoyed chapter 59. Also, I hope that this latest instalment will live up to your expectations, kaibaeskyrim. I was really looking forward to posting it and I hope you won't be disappointed.**

 **And now, ladies and gentlemen, may I present you... *the chapter***

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **11th of Second Seed, 4E 202**

As Steinarius opened the room to the little hut, Agda sighed in relief. She hadn't realized how tired she was until that damned Chaurus had litteraly spat poison at her and now she couldn't wait to get clean up and finally go to sleep. It was probably early evening in the surface world, but the mage couldn't care less: she was exhausted and was in terrible need of rest.

As she entered the little shelter, Agda caught a glimpse of a crimson Nirnroot in a pot. That sight made her scoff: it was because of that stupid plant that she had just risked to become blind. Steinarius seemed to realize how she was feeling and didn't ask her any question; yet, when the man noticed a human skeleton on the floor of the hut, he immediately broke the silence that had fallen between him and Agda.

"The poor sod was likely killed by Falmer", the Imperial stated after crouching beside the skeleton and analyzing it carefully. "Perhaps his journal will help us understand what happened", he added after noticing the little notebook near that old corpse.

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius allowed his eyes to run over the last pages of the dusty journal. In the meanwhile Agda laid her knapsack in a corner and started collecting some clean clothes. In normal circumstances, she would have never slept in a hut that hosted a corpse - yet, hers weren't normal circumstances at all.

"Agds, maybe this thing can interest you", Steinarius suddenly told her. "This man was an alchemist", he added while pointing at the skeleton. "He was killed while he was trying to collect crimson Nirnroots for one of his studies".

Without stopping her research for clean clothes, Agda scoffed. The fate of that unlucky alchemist was a reminder of the risks she'd just taken in order to analyze one of those stupid plants.

"The name was Sinderion", Steinarius continued. "I think you should keep his journal, Agds: it's only fair for an alchemist like you to inherit it".

Agda would have liked to complain, but the name of the late explorer managed to draw her attention.

"Are you sure the man's name is Sinderion?", she asked, curiosity finally evident in her voice. "There once was a very famous alchemist by that name. He studied Nirnroots all his life, then he disappeared without leaving traces".

"Take a look at the journal yourself", Steinarius replied while handling the dusty tome to his friend. "I think this man is the same guy you're talking about".

As she took hold of the journal and read the beautiful writings engraved in it, Agda immediately forgot her misadventure from earlier: she was an alchemist, therefore the discovery of Sinderion's notebook immediately filled her with happiness and joy. Also, it managed to refuel her enthusiasm for Blackreach: despite the accident with the Chaurus, she was now determined to unveil all the secrets hidden in that mysterious place.

* * *

By the time Agda was done reading Sinderion's notebook, Steinarius had already disposed of the alchemist's corpse by burying it in a little grave not far from the hut. When the girl saw her friend return to their den, she immediately felt sorry for not helping him with that tiresome task.

"Don't worry", Steinarius chuckled when confronted with the girl's apologies. "I think Sinderion would have been happy to know that his research is now in good hands. Also, I've taken the chance to bathe in the weird river that runs across Blackreach. It is not poisonous, which is very good news. Now, however, I can't wait to get out of this smelly armor".

Those words were enough to snap Agda out of Sinderion's interesting journal, as they reminded her of the pile of clothes she'd previously taken out of her knapsack. Despite being in one of the most dangerous places in Skyrim, the Archmage hadn't forgotten the value of personal hygiene.

"I think I'll take a bath too", she announced while closing Sinderion's notebook.

Steinarius frowned at the news, but he fought the urge to complain.

"Do you want me to come with you?", he simply asked.

When Agda hastily shook her head, Steinarius didn't protest.

"Just be careful", he told her. "And try to stay away from Nirnroots", he added.

Agda made to protest, but right then she realized that Steinarius hadn't meant to upset her. Her close encounter with a Chaurus had almost scared him to to death, a fact the Imperial still hadn't forgotten; yet, the man trusted her enough to allow her to go bathing without his protection. The girl was glad Steinarius thought her able to defend herself from the dangerous creatures lurking in Blackreach.

After promising the Dragonborn that she would be careful, Agda grabbed a clean set of robes and made her way out of her shelter. As she reached the nearby river and rested her tired body in the cold water, the mage was reminded that the lights of Blackreach made the scars on her body stand out despite all the potions she usually drank. Agda sighed – at least, Steinarius was already acquainted with the awful marks that marred her limbs and her face and her neck. At the same time, the girl reflected on the way she'd treated her best friend over the previous few days. She'd been really mean towards him and she sincerely hoped Steinarius would forgive her for being so snappish.

When she finally felt clean and relaxed, the Archmage walked back to her den. She'd replaced her robes with simple Restoration clothes and was looking forward to taking off her boots.

As she entered Sinderion's former laboratory, Agda noticed that a wonderful aroma was filling the air. Steinarius greeted her with a relieved smile, then he pointed at a small plate on the other side of the table he was currently sitting at. The Imperial had already eaten his soup and had changed into a pair of baggy breeches and a white undershirt. He was busy studying an old map, but he stopped his analysis in order to present Agda with her dinner.

"I've cooked some cabbage soup, if you want to eat something", he informed her. "If I remember correctly, it's your favourite".

Agda was moved by Steinarius' kindness and found the soup to be very tasty. She ate it as fast she could, then she walked up to the double-sized bed inside the room and sat down on it. When she finally shed her boots, the girl felt as though she'd just been reborn.

"Feels good, doesn't it?", Steinarius asked her without raising his eyes from the map he was still reading. When she noticed the light wrinkle in the middle of his forehead, Agda understood that something was worrying him.

"Are you alright?"

"Today we've explored the whole Southern area of the cave, so tomorrow we can move north", Steinarius said while avoiding a direct answer. "This place is fucking huge".

"We're not in a hurry".

Steinarius chuckled at that – a tiny bitter chuckle that completely lacked of happiness.

"I know, but I want to get out of here as soon as I can. I don't like anything in here – I don't like the air, the mushrooms, the cold, not even the roads. By Talos, even the water has a strange color!"

Agda perfectly understood what Steinarius meant. Also, she knew that his dislike for Blackreach was mainly to blame on her close encounter with that damned Chaurus.

"I hate this place too", tha mage confessed. "I particularly despise the light".

"The light?"

When Steinarius laid his eyes upon her, Agda blushed. Thinking out loud was definitely a bad habit, she thought to herself as soon as she noticed the confusion on the man's face.

"The light coming from the river and the mushrooms makes the scars on my face look even uglier", the mage explained, embarrassement well evident in her voice. "It's the first thing I realized once we reached Blackreach: I made to cast a spell, and all of a sudden the scars on my hands were there, angering and scaring me and mocking me. I'm lucky you don't scare easily".

When Agda distorted her gaze from Steinarius, the Imperial realized that she was facing a very sensitive topic. Even though Ancano had been dead for almost one year, the mage still wasn't used to showing her scars; as a consequence, she felt deeply unease in the weird environment of Blackreach.

"Agds…", the Dragonborn simply said as soon as he realized how the girl was feeling. The man's voice full of sweetness and tenderness and support, a fact that filled the young Nord with dread. She hated it when people pitied her and, of all people, she just couldn't accept being pitied by her best friend.

"It's okay, Stein, it really is", Agda defended herself. "It's nothing to worry about".

There was a moment of silence, then Steinarius made to stand up and hug his friend. As soon as she realized what he was about to do, however, Agda stopped him with a gesture.

"Stein, it really is okay", she lied. "Don't mind me when I complain about my scars: after all, I should have got used to them by now".

There was another long moment of silence during which Agda tried to avoid Steinarius' gaze. The man was staring at her flushed face, causing the mage to feel rather unease. Agda hated knowing that people could see her scars - and she hated it even more when people pitied her because of all she'd been through.

"I wish there were a way to relive Ancano", Steinarius eventually murmured, thus breaking the silence inside the small hut. "So that I could kill him over and over again".

Agda smiled at that, then she desperately looked for a new topic of conversation. At that moment her eyes fell on the bed where she was sitting.

"You've placed two wolf furs in the middle of the bed", she said while pointing at the pelts Steinarius had used to divide the bed in two perfectly equal parts. "Are you afraid we're gonna be cold?"

Confronted with that abrupt change of topic, Steinarius shrugged.

"It's quite a big bed, so I thought we could share it. Nonetheless, I don't want to get too close to you while I'm asleep: it could scare you or make you unease, and that's something I want to avoid. You deserve some good rest, Agds".

As soon as she heard that weird explanation, Agda frowned.

"In Riverwood you didn't have problems trespassing your part of the bed".

"Yes, but Riverwood was a long time ago", Steinarius replied. "It was before the College for you, and before Solstheim for me. Also, it was well before Ancano for both of us".

As she met Steinarius' placid eyes, Agda was provided with a sudden flow of unpleasant memories – Ancano's hands untying her robes, his lips trailing their path down her neck, his body pressing against her limp and battered one. As she remembered the way the Thalmor had used her after torturing, the girl felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She had never told Steinarius about it – at least, she had never told him _openly_ ; yet, those memories immediately had her understand why the man was so worried about scaring her during the night.

"You know what Ancano did to me", Agda said, surprise well evident in her voice. "All this time, you've always known".

"Frida told me after you regained your memory in Nightcaller Temple", Steinarius sternly nodded. "Also, you mentioned it one evening while we were in Winterhold. I'm sorry, Agds, I've always been".

"Yet you never brought it up".

"It's not a common topic of conversation, you'll agree", the Dragonborn said, his eyes mortally serious. "Also, I didn't know whether you wanted me to know. I tried to make sure Frida would keep in close contact with you and provide you with the help you needed, but there wasn't much else I could do".

Agda didn't say anything. She'd always believed that episode of her life to be a secret to everyone but Frida; now, instead, she was confronted with the truth. All of a sudden, the reason why Steinarius had clearly divided the two parts of their bed acquired a new meaning.

The young Archmage was silent for a very long time during which Steinarius' eyes never left her face. At last, the man stood up from his chair.

"I'll sleep in my bedroll", he announced while making his way towards his knapsack. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just thought…"

Those words snapped Agda out of her unpleasant memories. Confronted with the Dragonborn's sheepish expression, she immediately stopped him with a gesture.

"It's okay, Stein", she claimed. "We've already shared the same bed in Labyrinthian, remember? We can do it again. After all, your back will need some decent rest after carrying that heavy armor for the whole day".

The man gently smiled.

"Agds, that night in Labyrinthian you were doing so bad that you almost didn't even realize that you were sleeping with me. I'm serious, though: resting on the floor is perfectly fine with me".

"Well, it isn't with me!", Agda said while unexpectedly raising her voice.

Steinarius looked at her with a confused expression, whereas the Archmage lowered her gaze on her hands, which were resting in her lap. With a sad and tender smile, the Imperial went to sit beside his friend.

"What is going on, Agds?"

Confronted with that enquiry, the girl let out. She'd been feeling bad for more than six months, but Steinarius was the first one who had posed her that question during that long amount of time. His kindness was enough for her eyes to fill with tears.

"I haven't forgotten what happened in the Midden", Agda eventually confessed, her voice feeble with pain and emotion. "I think I have, but I'm only lying to myself. These scars, the way Ancano used me while I was unconscious, the way part of my mind was erased... I can't forget that, Stein, I really can't".

There was a little break, then Agda cleared her throat and resumed speaking. She couldn't stand the way Steinarius was looking at her and felt the need to erase his concern from his face.

"Some weeks ago I tried to sleep with a mage from the Synod, but it was a total failure", the girl sighed while trying to change topic. "When he kissed me and made to undress me, I hit him with a firebolt in the nethers. I had to erase his memory after that".

Steinarius frowned. He didn't know whether he should feel saddened or amused by that tale.

"You erased a mage's memory?", he asked while raising an eyebrow.

"It was for the better, Stein: I didn't want that mage to remember the way I'd rejected him; also, I don't think he wanted to keep the memory of my baffled face when he took off his pants".

To Agda's relief, Steinarius chuckled.

"Was he really that bad?"

Agda gave him a crossed look.

"You have no idea", she solemnly said.

Steinarius laughed, then he jokingly poked the Archmage in the ribs.

"You never looked baffled when _I_ undid my breeches", he recalled with a playful smile.

For a second Steinarius feared Agda would tell him off for going too far. When the girl smiled, however, he realized that it was okay for him to joke about their past.

"That's because I didn't have to cast a Clarvoyance spell to find my way with you, Imperial", the mage replied with a smirk.

Steinarius giggled at Agda's remark.

"Flatterer", he joked. "So it's agreed: we'll spend the night in the same bed. Don't worry though: I have no plans of getting myself naked in a place full of Falmer".

As he spoke, Steinarius saw some hesitation in Agda's deep brown eyes; nonetheless, she agreed to spend the night with him. Smiling, the Dragonborn promised himself he'd do everything he could to make that lovely girl feel safe and protected during the following hours.

* * *

Sleeping with someone after all that time was rather weird for Agda. Steinarius took the side of the bed that was directly connected to the wall, so that the girl wouldn't risk feeling trapped throughout the night. As she watched the Imperial light a few candles and turn off all the other ones, the Archmage was overrun by a slight tingle of nervousness.

 _It's okay_ , she told herself. _I'll just have to lay still and wait for tiredness to overcome me_.

Unfortunately, Agda soon realized that it was easier than done.

Upon reaching their bed, Steinarius wearily sighed and slumped down in his side of the hard stone mattress. The man immediately regretted that choice.

"Stupid Dwemer", he complained when his sore back hurt as a consequence of that collision. "What's the point of being smart if you can't even create a comfortable bed?"

Agda chuckled at that remark, but she didn't turn to look at her partner. She was resting with her back to Steinarius and her face pointed towards the entrance of the room, where her defensive runes dimly shone in the partial darkness.

There was a moment of silence, during which the mage felt the Imperial writhe behind her until he found a comfortable position. Steinarius had the same delicacy of an overgrown mammoth.

"You comfortable?", the man asked after he eventually stopped moving.

When Agda nodded, Steinarius chuckled.

"Lucky you then".

The two companions laughed, then the room finally fell silent. Despite her tiredness, Agda didn't feel like falling asleep.

"Stein, how's your private life going?", she asked out of the blue. "I mean, have you met anyone special in the last few months?"

"Someone like that mage from the Synod of yours?", the Imperial jokingly replied. His voice was tired, but Agda realized that he was amused by her question. "No, actually not. I haven't been with anyone since Riverwood".

Agda was surprised by the news. That meant that, over the previous year and a half, Steinarius hadn't slept with anyone but her.

"I thought werewolves…"

"Werewolves do feel the urge to couple very often", Steinarius broke her off. "And when I was younger, I'd hit on everything that moved. Now, however, I make a rather careful selection before I sleep with someone. It isn't just a physical act for me – it's also a great proof of intimacy. I've been this way ever since Vigdis and Eidan came along".

That remark caused Agda to fall silent. She'd expected Steinarius to sleep with a new woman the very same moment after they broke up, but the Imperial actually hadn't been with anyone since then. That discovery made her quite unease - and so did the mention of the man's late son.

The silence in the room continued for a rather uncomfortable amount of time. When Steinarius spoke, Agda was actually startled: she thought the man to have already fallen asleep.

"You've just shuddered", the Imperial said after Agda shivered for the cold at least twice. "Do you want me to warm you?"

The young mage was silent for a few seconds. She remembered Labyrinthian, Riverwood, the way Steinarius' arms would embrace her at night when they were together. Yet, this was something completely different from then – she was the Archmage of Winterhold now, he was the savior of Skyrim; she was the most feared mage of the North now, he was the best warrior of the land; but most of all, by now her innocence had gone lost, completely and utterly lost.

"Don't worry, Stein", the young woman eventually replied. "I'm always cold. That's why people in Winterhold call me _Agda the Cold_ ".

When Steinarius didn't say anything, Agda realized that he hadn't believed her. Apparently, the man knew that her nickname derived from the coldness that seemed to radiate from her ever since she'd become the Archmage of the College. Right then the girl thought of the way she'd behaved with him over the previous three days - and as she did, she felt shame wash over her. Steinarius really was her best friend - and right then, Agda wished the man could become something more than a simple friend.

"We're not in Winterhold now", the Dragonborn eventually murmured, thus snapping the Archmage out of her thoughts. "And to me, you're simply Agds".

As he spoke, Steinarius gently wrapped his arms around his friend. He was careful not too touch her chest and to prevent Agda from feeling trapped in his embrace. When the mage didn't protest, the Imperial realized that part of her had probably been waiting for that hug ever since she'd first laid down that night.

"Better?"

Agda nodded. As soon as she replied, she felt Steinarius' breath on her neck, then she felt him tighten the grip around her. At that point, the girl slightly shifted until her back pressed against the man's chest. Taking the hint, Steinarius tucked her hair behind her ears and laid a playfully loud kiss on her cheek. When Agda whimpered, he immediately pulled away.

"Do my hugs make you uncomfortable?"

"Not really", the Archmage confessed, her face blushing as red as a tomato. "Just.. keep your noisy lips to yourself, alright?"

Steinarius chuckled, then he resumed caressing Agda's arms. When the girl closed her eyes, the Imperial made to pull his arms away from her in order not to disturb her sleep. Nonetheless, the mage was quick to grab him by the wrists.

"Don't", she softly said.

Steinarius smiled at that, then he propped himself on an elbow and laid a gentle kiss on her cheek. When Agda didn't complain, the man began caressing her hair with one hand, all while the other was still wrapped around her waist.

"Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?"

Agda turned towards him at that unexpected question.

"You can sing?"

"Always so skeptical", Steinarius chuckled while faking an irritated expression. "I am a man of many talents, Agda - and don't forget that one time in Winterhold I sang you a very special version of _Ragnar the Red_ ".

When Agda chuckled at the memory, Steinarius felt his heart swell with happiness. He was slowly getting her to trust him again, and to him that was the greatest victory of all.

"I perfectly remember that night in the inn", the mage pointed out with a smile. "I just didn't think you knew any lullaby. Sing away then".

Pleased by that request, Steinarius melodramatically cleared his throat, then hit the first note. As soon as he did, Agda felt as though she'd just been transported to another dimension: Blackreach, Ancano, her scars, her tiredness, everything vanished in the Imperial's deep voice, in the way he was softly singing for her, in the way his arms lulled her to the rhythm of his song, of his heart, of his breath. Steinarius was singing some old ballad about a child living on the shores of the Niben, but Agda couldn't even make out the words – right then she was so overcome with feelings that she found it hard to focus on anything but the tears that were threatening to leave her eyes.

As the song eventually ended, Agda let out a heavy sigh and wipe her eyes with her sleeves. The Archmage didn't know why she was feeling so sensitive - she only knew that, for the first time in six months, someone was lovingly taking care of her and showing that there were still some people who were worthy of her trust.

When Steinarius asked her what was wrong, the girl was quick to shake her hands.

"Nothing", she said despite the tears that made her eyes shiny. "I'm just… _happy_ , I believe. Yes, that must be it: I'm happy for the first time since Ancano".

Confronted with Agda's tiny and embarrassed laughter, Steinarius smiled and kissed her gently on the cheek. Even if he didn't retrieve the Elder Scroll, to him that expedition in Blackreach was already a success.

* * *

Agda didn't know after how much time she woke up, but she immediately realized that it was probably very early. Yawning, the girl remembered the way she'd fallen asleep in Steinarius' arms, the way he'd lulled her, the way he'd gently kissed her cheek before she drifted into Vaermina's realm. Now she was the one who was awake, whereas the Imperial was softly snoring beside her.

Trying to be as careful as she could, Agda craned her neck to look at her companion. Being a werewolf, Steinarius was usually up and running long before her; as a consequence, until then she'd watched him sleep from up-close only a few couple of times.

Confronted with the Imperial's calm expression, Agda smiled. She'd been awoken by her usual belly cramps and, had it not been for those painful spasms, she would have slept for a much longer time.

When she tried to pull away from his arms, Steinarius whimpered. The girl heard him groan in his sleep, then she heard him mumble something that weirdly recalled her name. Moved by his tired expression, Agda stopped writhing and gently caressed his hair.

While he was sleeping, Steinarius looked even younger than he actually was; moreover, he seemed completely harmless. As she slowly ran her hand across his shaven cheeks, Agda realized that she'd missed him a lot over the previous months. Confronted with that thought, she felt even more sorry for the way she'd treated him over the previous few days.

Eventually, the cramps became too much for the Archmage to bear. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Agda cast a spell to deepen Steinarius' slumber, then she slowly climbed out of bed. As soon as she grabbed a healing potion, however, the man's voice reached her.

"Agds?"

Steinarius' grey eyes seemed exhausted as they scorched the poorly-lit room in search of the mage. The man's hair were tousled, whereas his face showed the marks left by the pillows. Moreover, his usually singsong voice was nothing but a weary and throaty groan.

"I'm here", Agda was quick to calm the Imperial. "I just needed a potion".

When the girl returned to bed and uncorked the vial, Steinarius propped himself on an elbow.

"A healing potion? Are you okay?"

Gulping the vial, Agda nodded.

"Nothing to worry about", she smiled.

Even after the Nord laid down again, Steinarius' questions didn't stop. He asked her whether she'd eaten anything with a strange taste, whereas she'd drunk water from the river, he even enquired about the things Agda had done before leaving for Alftand. Eventually, the mage sighed.

"It's something I've been dealing with for quite a few years, Stein", she confessed. "And all the other women of Nirn deal with it too".

Agda immediately saw her friend's face become red in embarrassment. She therefore didn't expect him to offer her his help.

"I can rub your belly, if you want", Steinarius sheepishly said, thus causing Agda to frown.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me: when Vigdis had this kind of problems, I would often stay in bed with her and give her a massage. She said it helped".

Agda was moved by the Imperial's worry.

"Look, Stein, I really thank you for your offer; yet, I don't believe…"

Steinarius was quick to break the young mage off.

"Come on, it won't do you any harm", he smiled. "Also, it should help you fall asleep again. We've only rested for less than two hours".

Fueled by the Dragonborn's puppy expression, Agda eventually gave in to his request. When Steinarius asked her to face him and laid his hand on her belly, however, she immediately regretted her decision.

"Look, Stein, I really…"

"Give it a chance, Agds", the Imperial reassured her. "It will work".

Agda stifled the urge to roll her eyes, then felt Steinarius' hand sneak under her robes.

"If you feel uncomfortable, tell me", the man suggested her.

Scoffing, Agda thought of lying to the Imperial as soon as his hand came in contact with her light undershirt. Yet, when he began rubbing gentle circles across her stomach, she realized that the feeling was actually pleasant.

When she distorted her gaze from Steinarius' arm, Agda noticed that the man was staring at her intently. His grey eyes were fixed on her face.

"You okay?"

To her own surprise, the woman nodded.

"Close your eyes and let me do the hard work", the Imperial recommended her. "You just need to relax".

A part of Agda's mind didn't feel at ease allowing a man that much control over her. Another part of her – the one that still believed in silly things like feelings -, however, eventually convinced her to trust Steinarius.

When she closed her eyes, Agda felt the Dragonborn shift towards her until they were only one inch away from each other. She could feel one of his hands on her stomach, then she felt his free arm move to caress her forehead. When she opened her eyes at that unexpected contact, the Archmage realized just how close she and her friend were.

"Relax", Steinarius whispered. He looked tired, but everything in his voice and his eyes and his smile was now sweet and calm and soothing. As a consequence, Agda soon buried her face in the crook of his neck, bit her lips when he stopped caressing her stomach and pulled her towards him, whimpered when he left a tender kiss on her forehead.

While inhaling the man' scent – that unmistakable scent that smelled of juniper and lavender and nightshade, of steel and leather and mead, of home and love and safety -, Agda sighed. She was finally tired of running from her past.

* * *

Steinarius didn't react when the Archmage pulled away from him: he simply stared as she positioned herself face to face with him, as she got closer to him, as she laid her hands on his chest and gently nuzzled his neck.

"You're so warm", the girl blushed when she noticed the confusion on Steinarius' face.

Confronted with Agda's need for tenderness and contact and with the embarrassed expression on her face, the Imperial chuckled and tightened his embrace. A moment later, the young mage moved so that her breath could ghost over his lips, so that her sweet scent could fill his nostrils, so that her eyelashes could flutter against his skin.

The two of them remained like that for what felt like a lifetime, both scared and eager to make the first move. Eventually, Agda gathered all her courage and finally surrendered to her feelings - and as soon as she did, the mage let out a sigh that reminded Steinarius of a silent prayer, then she pressed her lips against his. The Dragonborn remained still for a while, reveling in that light contact and in the way Agda's heart was drumming madly in his ears. Then, when the man pulled away and noticed the frail and terrified expression in her brown eyes, he cupped her face and kissed her again. This time the contact was much longer : Steinarius kissed Agda sweetly, properly, lovingly, all while his fingertips were gently caressing her cheeks. The man didn't want to touch her scars: right then, he only wanted to think of Agda, of her smile, of her love; there would be a time to face the ghosts of her past too, he was sure of that – right then, however, the Dragonborn only wanted the girl to feel all his love and his sweetness and his desire to keep her safe and happy and protected.

Steinarius kissed Agda with slow movements, he took the time to revel in her soft lips, he made sure not to become too possessive. Everything was different from their first night in Riverwood: this time there were no sloppy moments, there were no talks about the past, there were no eagerness to finish and no hunger to sate. There was only their love, a love that could take it as slow and sweet and easy as they wanted.

Eventually, when their endless kiss was over, Steinarius looked at Agda and smiled. The girl replied with a tiny smile, then sighed. While kissing her, the Imperial had allowed his hands to roam a bit too freely over her back - and the mage wanted him to understand her desire to take it slow.

"Stein, I don't know if I am ready to take off my clothes and…"

Surprised by that weird apology, the man immediately broke her off with a gesture.

"I don't want you to take off your clothes, Agds", he explained, his voice soft and soothing. "This moment is for us, and I want you 4to savor it fully, without fear or anxiety. After all you've been through, I think you deserve it".

When Steinarius stopped talking and kissed her again, Agda finally relaxed. She sagged in his strong and protective arms, she followed the slow and comfortable rhythm of his lips, she ran her hands across his scarred chest and his taut back. She sighed in content against his mouth, she whimpered between his kisses, she even forgot about her pain, past and present alike - and at last, when she laid her head on his heart and fell asleep under his grey placid eyes, the Archmage felt as she'd finally returned home after a long exile.

After weeks and weeks of sufferance, she was finally safe again.


	61. Down in the dark

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new instalment. There have been a few problems with my updates over the last month, but from now on I'll try to resume my usual schedule - one chapter every two weeks starting from now. Also, in case you missed it, I suggest you taking a look at chapter 60, which was published just a few days after chapter 59.**

 **Before introducing the current instalment, I want to thank The Mikaelson Cupcake for their review. It was so good to read that you enjoy so many aspects of my work! I don't think I'm that good at writing battle scenes, so your comments made very happy. Thank you again!**

 **As for Valtieri, I thank you for your remarks, which were as interesting and useful as usual. Chapter 59 was basically an uncalled overload of sweetness, but from now on things get serious.**

 **After making up, erm, out their misunderstandings, Agda and Stein are finally ready to explore Blackreach for good. Therefore, fasten your seat belt and beware of Falmer!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **12th of Second Seed, 4E 202**

Steinarius had always been a lightsleeper. As a consequence, when Agda began mumbling in her sleep, he awoke all of a sudden. The Imperial felt the need to sit up and look for the origin of that sound, but he stifled the urge as soon as he remembered about the woman asleep in his arms. Realizing that the sounds he'd heard had been caused by Agda, the Dragonborn immediately relaxed and held her tighter to his chest.

As he looked at the calm features of the young mage, Steinarius was overrun by tenderness. He remembered the caresses they'd exchanged on the previous night, the worry he had seen in Agda's eyes shortly before she kissed him, her tears of happiness when he'd softly sung for her - and as he did, his mind treacherously reminded him of a different woman and a different time, a time when he was a member of the Companions and when all his life was centered around a pair of beautiful black irises. Steinarius, however, was quick to wash away that sudden rush of memories. His whole world was now focused on Agda - and he couldn't be happier than that.

When the woman clung tighter to his chest, the Dragonborn looked at her with a mixture of love and sweetness and protectiveness. Much had changed since their first night together in Riverwood: back then Agda was so painfully kind that it made Steinarius feel guilty for the life he was leading, for the fact that he had to leave her for entire weeks, for the way he often questioned his own feelings towards that girl that seemed unable to understand his inner turmoil, yet was always so amazingly sympathetic to his cause. Now, however, that sweet innkeeper had become a battered woman who had experienced the worst that life could bring - she had been tortured, she had seen good friends like Mirabelle die in front of her eyes, she had experienced deceit and betrayal at the hands of people she trusted. If in Riverwood Steinarius had felt as though he was the only one with problems, now things were entirely different: he still had lot of troubles, sure, but he also knew that he needed to support the woman he loved. Also, this time he wasn't going to use his feelings for Agda as an excuse to hide from his calling - quite on the contrary, he was eager to slay Alduin so that he could conquer a life of happiness with the woman he loved.

* * *

Agda woke to a weird feeling of warmth and tenderness. In the dim light of the hut she could make out the outline of the spare furniture, but she couldn't really understand what was going on around her. When she propped herself on an elbow and heard a strangled cry in response, however, the girl immediately remembered about Steinarius: she was still wrapped in his arms and she'd just allowed her arm to collide rather violently with a very delicate part of his body. Yet, before she could apologise, the man chuckled.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine", he said - and a moment later, he laid a gentle kiss on Agda's temple.

The girl blushed at that. At that moment she suddenly became aware of everything that happened on the previous night and she suddenly realized that she now had to put up with the consequences of her actions.

Agda the Cold had melted in the arms of the Dragonborn - and now she had no idea what to do.

* * *

Breakfast was weird, at least for Agda. Steinarius was as kind and sweet as usual and didn't even try to kiss her or touch her. Perhaps, she thought, her lack of reaction at his good-morning kiss and the way she had snuck out of bed immediately afterwards had left him baffled and confused.

On the other side of the breakfast table, the Dragonborn was thinking of something else entirely. Sure, a part of him had hoped for Agda to shower him in kisses and remove both their clothes first thing in the morning, but the other part of him - the one that usually spoke in Arngeir's voice - knew that the girl was probably feeling strange about her behavior from the previous night. Willing to leave her enough time to reflect on their situation, Steinarius didn't press the matter; also, he soon focused entirely on the reason why they were in Blackreach.

The man didn't like anything in that weird place - he didn't like the light, he didn't like the water, he didn't like the cold that had him create small huffs every time he breathed; but most of all, Steinarius didn't like the creatures who dwelled in that mysterious place and was set on getting out of there as soon as possible.

As they abandoned the small hut where they'd slept, Agda started to focus on the upcoming task too. The close encounter with a chaurus had taught her not to be too curious about Blackreach, but the beauties of that amazing cave left her in awe and had her wish she could find out more about it. Nonetheless, the Archmage soon stifled her enthusiasm. It was clear that Steinarius wasn't at ease in that underground area and, after all he'd done for her in the previous days, the woman wasn't going to force him to explore Blackreach with her.

 _I'll come back with an expedition from the College_ , Agda promised herself - and as soon as she did, she could finally focus on the Elder Scroll she needed to recover.

* * *

As he ventured along the road that led to the opposite side of Blackreach, Steinarius sighed. The man could feel Agda's heartbeat beside him and the presence of dozens of other creatures around him. The Imperials was worried because his werewolf senses were sending him lot of warnings related to the most different beings he could imagine- Falmer, giants, chauri, frost trolls, wispmothers... All the most horrible creatures of Skyrim seemed to have a delegation dwelling in Blackreach.

Soon enough, the many information gathered by his senses caused Steinarius to feel weak and dizzy. He wished he could block sounds and smells from entering his brain, but there was no way to achieve that result; as a consequence, after a few hours of trekking the Imperial had to ask Agda for a break and find shelter inside an old pumphouse. The place was noisy and damp, but at least it gave him some peace from the waves of information that were flooding his mind.

Steinarius remained sitting on the floor for what felt like a lifetime. Beside him, Agda was looking at him with a mixture of worry and confusion.

"Are you alright?", she asked after Steinarius took his head in his hands.

"I'm fine", the Dragonborn forced himself to answer. "I'm simply unused to spending so much time in darkness", he lied.

The man could tell that Agda didn't believe him, but the girl nonetheless avoided any further question. Frowning, she simply sat down beside him and offered him some apple-pie.

"If you're feeling bad, apple pie is always the right answer", she timidly said.

Steinarius chuckled at that, then he accepted the food. He also felt the desire to drape an arm around Agda and pull her closer, but until then the girl had avoided any physical contact. Sure, she had taken his hand every time he had offered her his help along the way, but she had let go of him as soon as she could. To be honest, Steinarius was rather confused by that behavior; yet, he didn't want to press the girl - after all, he thought, he couldn't turn a frozen icicle into a hurricane of feelings overnight.

It took the Imperial another hour before he could finally find the willpower to leave his shelter - and when he did, he discovered that his break from the weirdness of Blackreach only succeeded in making him feel even worse when he stepped into the cave once again.

The Dragonborn sighed: if he wanted to get out of that place alive, he needed to find the Scroll immediately.

* * *

Agda didn't miss the way Steinarius was feeling. There was something weird going on with the Imperial and she was frustrated by the fact that he wouldn't tell her what it was. Luckily enough, his problems allowed both of them to take their mind off the fact that she seemed unease every time he touched her.

The two adventurers continued their exploration of Blackreach for at least two days. Time was different in that cave and Agda soon lost contact with the surface world; also, she noticed that she and Steinarius were seemingly going around in circles.

"Damn it, we got lost again!", the Imperial hissed one evening, after he and Agda came across the same old farm once again.

Even though they had carefully followed the only road of Blackreach, the warriors were having a lot of troubles with their orientation skills and seemed unable to reach the tower Septimus Signus had mentioned to them.

"Maybe we should leave the road", Agda tentatively said in reply to Steinarius' rage. "Also, we could try and explore the central area of the cave, the one with the weird bright sun".

Steinarius snorted. The globe of light Agda had called 'sun' was a weird manufact in the middle of Blackreach. It was surrounded by many buildings full of Famriel and other creatures, therefore the Imperial had never got close to it. Yet, he knew it was time he faced his fears and finally dealt with that area of Blackreach - after all, he was getting more and more exhausted and his supplies were growing scarcer and scarcer. First, however, the man wanted to take a look around the old farm in front of his eyes.

Steinarius was surprised when he and Agda came across a weird elevator. The mage gave him a perplexed look, then she activated a lever. Steinarius frowned and wished she hadn't done that. Before the man could unsheath his sword, however, the lift reached its destination, causing the Imperial to deadpan. By some miracle, he was now breathing the fresh, clean, _healthy_ air of Skyrim. Steinarius was so happy he felt the urge to kneel and kiss the floor of the elevator.

"I know this place", Agda said, thus breaking the astonished silence that had fallen on her and on her companion. The girl looked as relieved as her friend. "We're not far from an inn".

Steinarius felt his heart swell with joy as he heard the news; yet, when Agda made to walk out of the elevator by activating another lever, he suddenly stopped her - the Dragonborn knew that, had he left Blackreach for good, he would have never found the strength to return there.

"Let's sleep here", the Dragonborn said when confronted with Agda's confused stare. "I don't want to go too far".

"But Stein, we are running out of food", the mage replied. "Also, I think we both need some time to recover from tiredness".

"It would be good to leave Blackreach for some time, I agree", Steinarius said while lowering his gaze. "Still, I'm afraid that if I do, I'll never be brave enough to get back in that foul cave".

 _There._ Steinarius had finally confessed to Agda how he felt about Blackreach and now he stood waiting for her to either call him crazy or to burst into a mocking laughter. Against all odds, the woman didn't do any of those things.

"I didn't know you were doing so bad", she frowned. "I mean, I did realize that something was wrong, but I didn't think Blackreach scared you so much".

"I'm not scared", Steinarius pointed out. "Or maybe I am, but I don't realize it. It's just... That place makes me feel dizzy, Agds. My eyes hurt, my head spins and I have troubles breathing. I blame it on my werewolf senses: they carry me too much information".

Agda frowned.

"Have you ever thought that you could be allergic to the giant mushrooms in there? Their spores are all over the place".

Steinarius was surprised by that idea. Before he could comment on it, however, Agda shrugged and laid her bedroll on the floor of the elevator.

"I suppose it doesn't matter, does it? Not for the next few hours, at least. We both need some good sleep and this elevator looks safer than any other place we could find in Blackreach".

Surprised by that comment, Steinarius took a long look around. The bars of the elevator were impossible to destroy and thick enough to prevent any foul creature from entering the space where he and Agda were standing. Also, the area was large enough to put up a tent that could keep him and the girl safe and warm.

When the mage proceeded in casting a few defensive runs outside the elevator and used a spell to protect herself and her companion from the cold, Steinarius finally smiled.

Agda was right: he could take a break from Blackreach and finally get some good sleep.

* * *

Agda was strangely silent as she cooked dinner. Steinarius had volunteered to fulfill that task on her behalf, but the mage had been very firm: she wanted him to rest and enjoy a well-deserved pause from the horrors of Blackreach. The Dragonborn felt slightly embarrassed by his sudden weakness, but he was also relieved by Agda's presence. Without her, everything would have been much more difficult.

After supper, the Imperial laid down in his bedroll and bid the woman goodbye. He was surprised when Agda draped an arm around his waist and pulled him towards her, so that he could rest with his back to her front. When Steinarius turned to give her a confused look, the mage blushed.

The man's confusion had a simple reason: since their night in Sinderion's laboratory, Agda had avoided every prolonged physical contact with him.

"I... I thought we could share our body warmth", the mage said as her cheeks flushed even redder. "Also, I wanted to hug you. I've never seen you look so tired and depressed".

Steinarius looked for something to say, but he soon found that in that moment words were completely useless. He therefore turned towards Agda and buried his face in the crook of her neck. The woman chuckled at that gesture and pulled her lover even closer, then she started stroking his hair and massage his shoulders.

When Steinarius looked up at her, she immediately took the lead and laid a shy kiss on his lips.

"It's the first time we sleep like this", she whispered, her face still red from embarrassement.

Steinarius nodded, then he placed a gentle kiss on her chin.

"Is it a problem?", he asked, his grey eyes fixed on her face. "If you want, you can sleep in my arms just like the other times".

Agda shook her head, then she tightened her grip on her man.

"No, it's just... I think like it. Actually, I may even get used to it".

Steinarius chuckled, then he smiled as Agda started stroking his hair once again.

"Stein, I know I haven't been very touchy-feely as of late", she suddenly told him out of the blue. "I just... I'm having a bit of troubles with physical contact. I hope it isn't a problem".

Steinarius tilted his head upwards at that unexpected confession, then he gently caressed Agda's cheeks.

"Agds, this isn't a problem at all", he told her with a kind smile. "I don't want you to feel unease because of the way you are, alright?"

"I used to be a bit more emotional back in Riverwood", the mage pointed out. "After Ancano, however..."

"Riverwood was a long time ago for both, honey", Steinarius gently broke her off. "To me, the only thing that matters are our feelings, Agds: I like being with you and I hope it is the same for you. Right now, for example, there is no other place I would like to be but here. It's just a little tent in the middle of nowhere, but I'm in your arms - and to me, this feel utterly like heaven".

Agda blushed again, then she murmured something that sounded suspiciously like 'flatterer'. Steinarius propped himself on his elbow and gave her a long, slow kiss on the lips, the first one the two of them exchanged ever since that night in Sinderion's laboratory. During that long moment Agda closed her eyes and produced a tiny mewl that caused Steinarius to smile without pulling away from her. A moment later, when the mage buried her fingers through his hair and started kissing him more fiercely, the man couldn't hold back a groan.

They continued like that for a long time, then Steinarius forced himself to break the contact - his inner beast was slowly rising to the surface and he didn't want to ruin that beautiful moment by becoming too bold with his movements and kisses.

Agda seemed confused when he broke away from her but a moment later, when the Imperial kissed her softly on the cheek and rested once again with his head on her shoulder, she smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

They stayed like that for a long time, until the night got full of stars and tiredness took over.

As he drifted off to sleep in Agda's arms, Steinarius smiled: he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so warm, just like he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so loved and protected.

* * *

Thanks to the warm night he spent enveloped in Agda's arms, on the following morning Steinarius felt much better. As a consequence, when the woman laid a hand on his elbow to stop him from pulling the lever back to Blackreach, he was rather confused.

"I can go back alone", the mage told him. "You don't have to come with me if that place makes you feel bad".

Steinarius stood still for a moment. Agda's brown eyes were full of determination, but the Dragonborn didn't miss the fear behind them. She would go miles for him, but the Imperial wasn't ready to let her face that task on his behalf - after all, Blackreach was his own challenge, not hers.

"We can make it together", he said with a kind smile. "I'm sure that this is the best choice for everyone".

When Agda nodded, Steinarius realized that his words hadn't convinced her - and when he reached Blackreach and a violent rush of nausea washed over him, the man understood that he had told his lover a huge lie. That place somehow made him sick; yet, he had no choice but to venture through it in order to take another step towards his destiny.

* * *

That morning Agda and Steinarius finally agreed to explore the central area of Blackreach. They were both visibly nervous, but the Imperial tried to encourage his woman by squeezing her hand every time he could and by smiling every time she looked at him. He knew Agda was looking for signs of weakness on his part, but he was determined to hide his distress.

The buildings in the middle of Blackreach hosted different towers; therefore, for a long moment the Dragonborn hoped the Elder Scroll could be in one of those tall buildings. His anticipation for the exploration of that place, however, vanished as soon as the man noticed the creatures that were defending it. Not only was the area full of Falmer - among them there were also many humans. Steinarius had heard lots of legends about the former Snow Elves and their human slaves, but he had never believed them. When he saw a man work together with one of those creatures, however, he realized that the rumors were true.

Beside the Imperial, Agda looked equally shocked. As the two exchanged a worried glance, one of the Falmer seemed to notice their scent - and when the creature snarled, some of his human servants ran towards the Dragonborn and the Archmage.

Given the situation, the two adventurers lost no time at all: they abandoned their hiding place behind a tall wall, then they fought at the best of their skills. Soon they dispatched the enemies who had attacked them and the Falmer who had commanded them; then Agda and Steinarius ventured into the huge halls surrounding that vast area. On their way towards the final chamber of the former debate halls the two of them came across a Bosmeri woman who was seemingly repairing some Falmer weapons. Since the unlucky servant was alone, Agda tried to speak to her; yet, when the Elf screamed and threw an axe at her, Steinarius used a Shout to protect Agda from the blow, then immediately dispatched the woman. Attracted by her shrill shouts, many Falmer soon flooded the area.

It took Agda and Steinarius a while to get out of those wretched halls. As they did, they were both angry and tired and covered in blood. Their efforts had been in vain: that area hosted no Elder Scrolls at all.

"I can't believe it", Agda said as she walked through the wide area between the different buildings at the center of Blackreach.

The weird globe she had nicknamed 'Blackreach sun' was casting its light on her and Steinarius, but the mage ignored it completely: right then she was too angry to think about anything but her failure.

"We have explored all of Blackreach, but we still haven't found the Scroll. Do you think Septimus lied to us?"

The Dragonborn didn't answer. Unlike Agda, he felt strangely attracted to the globe of light above their head - but most of all, unlike Agda, he believed that they still weren't safe from the Falmer dwelling in that area.

There was a sudden movement to his right and Steinarius realized his fears had been funded: before he could do anything but shout a warning, a couple of Falmer seemed to pop out of thin air and suddenly lunged towards him.

The Dragonborn saw Agda cast a few spells at the creatures, then he noticed the way she turned on her heels in order to face another Falmer who had attacked her from behind. The man quickly killed his adversaries, then he made to help Agda with her enemy - and as he did, he noticed that yet another Falmer was about to activate a menacing crossbow from a terrace right above his head. The creature was going to fire the first bolt and was aiming for Agda. When he heard the whooshing sound produced by the weapon, Steinarius reacted out of instinct: he lunged towards Agda with a Shout, then he got her out of harm's way.

From then on everything happened very rapidly: the Dragonborn grunted at the violent collision with the ground, he heard Agda's surprised cry, he sensed the smell of blood coming from her robes; a moment later, the man felt a sharp pain at the center of his chest and realized that his vision had just got blank.

* * *

When Steinarius lunged towards her and violently shoved her to the ground, Agda felt the air abandon her lungs.

The girl let out a cry of protest, then she noticed the Falmer who was aiming at her with a crossbow - and as soon as she did, she got back on her feet and killed it with a spell. There was a loud cry of rage and Agda turned to see that another enemy was approaching Steinarius, who was still sprawled on the ground. The girl didn't wonder why the Imperial still hadn't got up from the floor - she just took aim and killed the Falmer. In the very same moment, Steinarius used a Shout and sent another of those creatures flying through the courtyard of the halls. A brief moment of perfect silence followed, then Agda heard the two most unexpected sounds she expected to hear at that moment.

First, a bell seemed to ring deep in the heart of Blackreach; then, something roared in the distance.

Agda couldn't believe her eyes when a huge bronzed dragon appeared in front of her - and when she turned to look at Steinarius and realized that the man still hadn't got up from the floor, she understood that the bolt originally meant for her had probably hit him instead.

The realization filled her with dread. It wasn't the first time Steinarius was hurt while they were fighting together, but it was the first time he seemed so severely injured that he couldn't even move.

How was she to fight a dragon without him?

The Archmage had no time to look for an answer: as the creature landed in front of her, she could only cast a defensive ward and hope Steinarius would be safe during the battle.

* * *

Steinarius came to to the sounds of angry battle cries and rageful roars. The Imperial realized that he was still sprawled on the cold floor of Blackreach and that blood was dripping from his mouth. The man snorted - if that meant anything, his injury was probably very serious.

When the man finally realized what was going on around him, he couldn't believe his eyes. Now he knew why he'd felt so attracted by the weird globe of light above his head: somehow, that foul thing was used to summon a dragon. As to the reason why a beast like that had been imprisoned in Blackreach, the Imperial decided it was better to ignore the question altogether - right then, he was too busy trying to find a way so that he could help Agda kill the wicked creature. Unfortunately, from his place on the floor Steinarius could only watch and pray for his friend to escape the fight unscathed.

 _Run, you foolish girl_ , the Imperial thought when the dragon' sharp teeth snapped closed just a few inches from Agda's face. The mage had just teletransported herself on the head of the dragon in the hope she could smash her dagger through its skull, but she lacked the sheer force to fulfill that action.

 _Run_ , Steinarius thought once again when Agda's Atronachs distracted the dragon, thus allowing the girl to find a safe shelter and rest for a few seconds. _Run and don't come back. I'm going to die anyway_.

Steinarius even tried to voice his thoughts, but the effort caused his head to spin and his vision to become blurry again.

The Falmer bolt was still buried deep within his back and had cut through armor and skin and bones; somehow, however, the Imperial was still alive, which meant that the weapon had likely missed most of his vital organs. Yet, Steinarius had the feeling that his current state was about to undergo a drastic change very soon.

There was a loud roar as the dragon took off. Steinarius followed it with his eyes until the beast abandoned his visual field, causing Agda to run after it in the weak effort to hurt it with her spells. As the girl disappeared in the darkness of Blackreach too, the Dragonborn cursed and felt many sour tears well up in his eyes.

He should have listened to Agda and never gone back to that foul place, he thought with rage. In that way, he wouldn't have stuck himself and the woman he loved in that horrible situation.

When the air echoed with the sound of a loud roar, Steinarius allowed the first tear to leave his eyes. He was crying because he was hurt, because he was angry, because he was in pain - but most of all, he was crying because he was downright terrified. He didn't care about his life, but he was afraid he had led Agda to her own death.

As soon as the first tear left Steinarius' eyes, the huge cave was overrun by an innatural silence.

 _It's over_ , the Dragonborn thought. _The battle is over and Agda is either hurt or dead - and it's all my fault._

The man made to raise his head from the floor, but without success. A moment later, he heard the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching.

 _A Falmer servant_ , he thought with a shiver. _I'd never thought I'd become food for Chauri_.

When he found himself face-to-face with Agda, however, Steinarius felt a little tingle of hope at the bottom of his heart.

The Archmage was pale and covered in blood, but she seemed unhurt - and if she was unhurt, maybe he had a chance to survive too.


	62. In my time of dying

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, after defeating a little writer's block, here I am with the usual update** **.** **It isn't a very long instalment, but I will make up for that in two weeks time. Also, we are approaching the last part of this fic (if my calculations are correct, this story will end around chapter 81 and will be followed by a sequel). I hadn't planned to write such a huge piece of work, so I really have to thank all the people who have patiently followed me until now and who will keep on following me in the future. Speaking of which...**

 **Before we start, I heartily thank all the readers who have recently commented on this story. A huge _thank you_ goes to The Mikaelson Cupcake for their support. I'm glad you enjoy my battle scenes! Also, I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one who feels sick when they have to venture into Blackreach - dear Elspeth namely has the same problem. I hate that place so much that I wrote these last few chapters without playing the related quests - and that had something to do with my writer's block. Speaking of which, I heartily thank Scepta101 for their understanding towards this problem. Your words really did help me!**

 **As for KSausage's comments, I'm glad you enjoyed the romance/action equilibrium in chapter 61. Sometimes my chapters are way too fluffy, so it's good to know that I succeeded in writing a balanced instalment. Also, I'm completely shocked by the fact that your country blocked this website because of their crusade against smut. Shouldn't they take care of that problem by dealing with other websites first?**

 **I also have to thank Thantrose for their remark about one of my earlier chapters. I hadn't thought of the implication hidden behind the fact that Ancano's dagger "could do everything its owner wanted it to do"; therefore, thank you very much for pointing that out. It's great to read the comments of such observant readers!**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ goes to lazytomcatranch for their amazing amount of reviews. I get the feeling you don't really like Steinarius, but I hope that over the last few chapters your opinion of him has improved; also, I'm sorry to read that you think I'm a supporter of the Empire - actually, in all my playthroughs I always choose Ulfric's side (slaying Thalmor is one of the best thing in a gamer's life). Hopefully I'll manage to make up for that in the last arc of this story.**

 **Now, back to business: Agda has killed a dragon, Steinarius has been hurt while getting her out of harm's way, the Elder Scroll is still hidden somewhere in Blackreach. What will happen in chapter 62? Take a look and find out!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Agda couldn't believe her eyes. The huge dragon that had attacked her now laid dead at her feet, killed by a lethal combination of spells and Atronachs and runes. The young mage thought her opponent had also been weakened by its long confinement in Blackreach, as its attacks had been weirdly slow and ineffective; yet, that was no time to be picky about that victory.

As she examined the huge enemy she had just dispatched, Agda sighed in relief. A moment later, however, she realized that the whole of Blackreach was much more silent than usual. On top of that, she noticed that Steinarius was nowhere to be seen.

Scared by the absence of her lover, Agda abruptly turned her head in order to locate the Imperial. When she realized that he was lying on his stomach in a pool of blood, the woman felt a cold shiver run down her spine - and a second later, when she noticed the bolt coming out of his back, she let out a desperate scream and ran towards him. Right then Agda didn't care about prudence or safety: she only cared about her man and was keen on providing him with some relief.

* * *

When Agda knelt down beside him, Steinarius closed his eyes and cursed himself because of the few tears that were still running down his cheeks - after all, he didn't want to look weak in front of the woman he loved.

 _Crepusculus, you really are an idiot!_ , the usual voice from the back of his mind angrily whispered. _We are dying, **dying** I say!, and all you care about is your reputation. Are you an idiot?_

Steinarius was surprised by that cruel remark. The pain he was feeling was strong, probably too strong for him to survive that injury; now, however, Agda was by his side. The woman was the best healer he knew, had faced Ancano without any fear, had just killed a dragon with her own hands; as a consequence, she probably knew how to help him with his problem. Reassured by that fact, the Dragonborn slowly opened his eyes. When he noticed the fear on Agda's face, however, he realized that the voice in his head had been right.

He was dying for real and not even Agda had the means to save him.

* * *

When Steinarius looked at her, Agda fought the urge to burst into tears. There was pain in his eyes, a raw pain that the girl had never seen before. The girl could also see a lot of rage in those grey irises, and together with rage Agda saw terror and distress. As she noticed the tears on her lover's cheeks and the blood dripping from his mouth, the mage felt even worse: Steinarius had always been willing to protect her and even on that occasion he had been hurt while he was trying to defend her.

 _The bolt that has hit him was meant for me_ , Agda suddenly remembered - and that awareness made her feel guilty and sorry and desperate.

There was a tiny whimper and the mage realized that Steinarius was trying to say something. The fatigue on his face was enough to snap Agda out of her paralysis: laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, the mage lowered her face so that she could watch the Imperial in the eyes and softly caress his forehead.

"We'll get through this too, Stein", she whispered while gently shushing the Imperial. "I promise you we will".

Steinarius made to nod, but the pain in his chest had him produce a strangled whimper. When he became even paler than he already was, Agda understood that she had no time to lose: if she wanted her man to survive, she had to act quickly. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done: right then, the best healer of Skyrim felt as though she had forgotten how to use magic.

When she took care of her patients, Agda didn't see them as actual people with families and friends and feelings: terrible as it may sound, she only saw them as empty, defective bodies that needed to be fixed. It wasn't a matter of cruelty or lack of empathy: had she focused on the personal lives of all the husbands and wives and mothers and fathers and sons and daughters she had cured ever since joining the College, Agda would have never managed to fully focus on their problems and take the difficult decisions that needed to be made in order to save them. With Steinarius, however, everything was different. The Imperial wasn't just another hunter who had been mistakenly injured by a very clumsy companion: he was the man Agda loved, he was her best friend and companion, he was the prophesized savior of Skyrim. That's why, try as she might, the girl was currently unable to rely on her skills. Curing an unknown man was one thing - curing her own lover was something else entirely.

After taking a deep breath, Agda tried to forget her fears and finally focused on the task at hand. She had often seen injuries like Steinarius' and she knew that most of them had a tragic outcome.

As she analyzed the bolt protruding from her lover's back, the girl cursed. Not only was the weapon covered in blood - it had probably been dipped in poison too. Despite that discovery, Agda tried to keep her cool.

 _One problem at the time_ , the mage told herself after coming to terms with that news. _At least Steinarius is still alive despite the bloodloss_ , she thought in order to reassure herself. _I guess that's one of the good things about being a werewolf._

As soon as she managed to calm down and retrieve part of her usual coldness, Agda actually realized that she had one reason to hope for the better: after all, although at first the shock had prevented her from realizing it, Steinarius' conditions weren't as desperate as they looked. The damned bolt had passed through his back, sure, but the Dragonborn was still breathing - and that meant that the Imperial had been lucky enough to avoid any major damage to his vital organs. Agda didn't know how that had been possible and actually didn't feel the need to find a logical answer to that mystery; she only knew that, if the bolt hadn't pierced any of Steinarius' vital organs, then she simply needed to extract that weapon from his chest and knit his skin, bones, tissues and blood vessels together. It was a difficult procedure that was going to require her best skills, but the mage had already performed it in the past. As a consequence, she finally understood that she had a chance to help her lover survive that wound. To get Steinarius out of troubles, however, Agda needed to find a safe shelter where she could cure him without being attacked by Falmer and other creatures.

A sudden whisper snapped Agda out of her thoughts. Confronted with her blank expression, Steinarius had namely felt the need to apologise for getting hurt.

"Didn't... end... this...", the Imperial weakly murmured, a guilty expression on his pale face.

 _I didn't want it to end like this_ , he had probably meant to say - and when she noticed how terrified and frail and weak her man looked, Agda was overrun by tenderness.

"This is not the end, Stein", she whispered as she gently caressed his forehead. "I'll get you through this, I promise you I will".

After reassuring her man, Agda grabbed her dagger and proceeded with shortening the part of the bolt that was still protruding from Steinarius' back. In that way, she thought, moving him to the closest shelter would be much easier.

The Imperial groaned throughout the whole procedure and for a moment Agda feared the Falmer would hear those wails and attack them. Luckily enough, the dragon she had killed had probably scared most of the creatures dwelling in Blackreach, thus preventing them from roaming the area where Agda was currently trying to help Steinarius with his wound.

Once she had shortened the bolt coming out of her man's torso, Agda frowned. That procedure had cost her much more energy than she'd originally believed; as a consequence, the mage was starting to fear that her skills wouldn't be enough to carry the man to the closest shelter.

Sensing her distress, Steinarius made an effort to smile and gently touch her knee.

"Thanks. You ... good... at..."

Agda broke Steinarius off with a gesture. The way he was trying to reassure her despite his sufferance made her wish she could lay down next to him and shower him in kisses; yet, his many attempts at moving and talking risked to worsen his situation.

"It's my job, Stein", Agda softly replied while tousling the Imperial's hair. "That's why I'm good at it. Now, however, try to remain still and silent, alright?"

Steinarius made to nod, but the movement caused him to groan in pain. Agda, on the other hand, sighed: she was glad her man was conscious, but she was worried by his problems with keeping still.

After rapidly scanning the surrounding area in order to look for enemies, Agda cast a spell to numb the pain Steinarius was experiencing. A moment later, she tried to rely on her strength in order to help the Imperial to his feet. Steinarius groaned in distress, but Agda didn't give up on her plan: she wanted to take the Imperial to the old pumphouse they'd stumbled across a few days earlier - and to do that, she needed him to cooperate. Unfortunately, the mage had overestimated Steinarius' resistance: despite being a werewolf, after a few steps the man produced a strangled cry and fell limp in her arms. Forced to support his weight, Agda crumbled to her knees and hissed. She had hoped to save some magicka by getting Steinarius to her shelter without using any spell, but it looked as though she needed to change her plans.

The following hour felt like a lifetime to Agda. The girl had to use a spell to carry Steinarius' unconscious body through Blackreach, all while checking his vital signs and looking for enemies hidden in the shadows. Also, the girl got lost and couldn't find her way to the pumphouse she had originally meant to reach. When she got to an old, deserted farmhouse, however, the young mage couldn't believe her luck: the building was old and dusty, but it looked much healthier than the pumphouse she had chosen as her first shelter. Also, she had made it there without coming across any foul creature.

Unfortunately, Agda's enthusiasm was short-lived. Steinarius' conditions had got worse during their short journey and, when she finally shed his cuirass, the girl noticed that his chest was completely soaked in blood. Agda needed to cure him as soon as possible, but the effort of getting to the farmhouse had caused her to run out of magicka. Frowning, Agda decided to drink all the magic-related potions she had in her knapsack in the hope they could help her save Steinarius' life.

* * *

The Archmage of Winterhold cured her lover for what felt like years. Knitting his body together after freeing the bolt trapped inside his chest was very difficult and more than once Agda thought that Steinarius was about to die. After many hours, however, the girl finally extracted the weapon from her man's torso and cast one final spell to repair all the damages caused by that weapon. A moment later, Agda started sobbing like a baby.

The Archmage of Winterhold was terrified: terrified of losing her lover, terrified that her cures wouldn't work, terrified that she would die in that hopeless place and that no one would ever discover her fate. Also, the girl felt awfully guilty for the way Steinarius had been hurt - had she been more careful, the Imperial wouldn't have been shot at at all.

Fear and guilt and despair were Agda's companions for a very long time. The girl had risked her own life trying to cure Steinarius with the most powerful spells she knew and no adequate back-up, but that didn't make feel her better. Also, her guilt increased after she repeatedly had to venture into Blackreach in order to retrieve a few important ingredients that could make Steinarius feel better despite the poison that still running through his veins. Luckily enough, at the end of those lonesome trips Agda always managed to get back to the farmhouse and keep Steinarius safe; also, thanks to those little adventures she soon realized two important things. First, Agda had no idea where she'd actually ended up while looking for a safe shelter - and that meant that she couldn't easily reach the surface world and find help for her lover; second, the Falmer had discovered about the injured man trapped in Blackreach and were becoming bolder and bolder with their attacks and explorations.

In those conditions, Agda felt as though she had no chances to make it out of Blackreach with Steinarius. Yet, when her lover finally opened his eyes at the end of the longest week of her life, the girl immediately forgot about her sufferance and despair.

If Blackreach was to be her tomb, so be it - at least, she was with the man she loved.

* * *

Steinarius came to in a room he had never seen before. The man was wearing only his breeches and was partially covered by a fur that couldn't protect him from the cold. The smell of blood in the area was overwhelming and could only worsen his strong nausea.

When the Imperial growled in distress and closed his eyes again, Agda immediately approached him. She gently cleaned his sweated face wit a wet cloth, then she shushed him with kind and encouraging words. When she squeezed Steinarius' hand, the man exchanged the gesture - and a moment later, when she found herself mirrored in his grey eyes, the mage had to fight back the tears. She was running out of food and the Falmer were about to lay siege to her shelter, but at least her lover was feeling better.

"Agds..."

Steinarius' voice was weak and uncertain, whereas his vision was still blurry; yet, he perfectly remembered the way he'd been hurt while trying to protect Agda.

"Stein, I'm here", the girl whispered when she realized that the man was having problems locating her. He was still feverish and that probably confused his werewolf senses. "I'm not leaving you".

When the man nodded, he experienced a sharp pain in his chest. He tried to touch his wound, but he was too weak to fulfill that gesture. Also, moving his arm brought about another explosion of pain in the right side of his torso.

"Your collarbone is broken", Agda explained when the man grimaced. "The bolt entered your body through it - and luckily enough, the collision with the bone prevented it from piercing your organs. You had some problems with a punctured lung, sure, but I managed to stitch it back together. Yet, you'll need more cures if we get out of here".

Thanks to those words, Steinarius finally remembered about the reason why he'd ventured into Blackreach in the first place. Despite his difficulties at speaking, the man tried to ask Agda about the Elder Scroll.

"I still haven't found anything", the mage replied to his slurred sentences. "This place is a nightmare".

As Agda spoke, her eyes got full with tears. She was very pale, Steinarius noticed at that moment; also, her clothes were completely covered in blood. The sleeves of her dress were missing and the Imperial realized that Agda had probably used them as makeshift bandages for his chest. The thought caused his heart to swell with love and affection for the little tough woman that was currently sitting by his bedside.

"It doesn't... matter", the Dragonborn slowly said while trying to steady his voice. "We should... get out of here... and forget about this... madness".

The man was surprised when Agda shook her head. Escaping Blackreach was much more difficult than Steinarius thought.

"Stein, we've been trapped here for more than a week. The Falmer are laying siege to our shelter and I can't find my way back to the entrance of this cave. I... I don't know what to do!"

When he realized the terror in Agda's voice, Steinarius felt the need to hug her and comfort her.

"Soon I'll feel better", he told her with the firmest voice he could find at the moment. "Then we'll leave. Together".

Much to the Dragonborn's surprise, Agda shook her head again.

"Stein, the bolt that got you was poisoned. You remember what happened the last time you were poisoned by that vampire... I've been fighting off the effects of that substance, but I'm running out of alchemy ingredients. You aren't safe, Stein: not yet".

Only then did Steinarius realize how difficult their situation was. Confronted with the fear in Agda's voice, he understood that she was probably more terrified than he was. Willing to make her feel better, he squeezed her hand and tried to change topic of conversation.

"I'm not wearing my Talos amulet", he told her. "The one I wear when I fight".

Agda seemed surprised by that remark. Steinarius always kept that necklace hidden under his armor, but she didn't think it had any emotional value.

"It's over that table, together with your cuirass and boots. Why are you curious about it?"

Steinarius tried to shrug, but the movement caused him to hiss in pain.

"It was a gift from my Nord grandmother. I've been wearing it since I was a toddler".

Agda raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't think Imperial soldiers went to war with Talos amulets hidden under their armors".

Steinarius produced a low chuckle, then grimaced because of the pain.

"I stopped wearing it when I joined the army, actually. Back then I only wore my Stendarr amulet - a gift from my mother, you know. She was a priestess in Kvatch when she met my dad".

Agda frowned.

"An Imperial soldier wearing a Talos amulet and a werewolf wearing a Stendarr amulet, all combined in the body of the Dragonborn", she dramatically sighed. "You really are a walking contradiction, Crepusculus".

Steinarius was surprised by that remark, but miled as soon as he noticed the mischievous look in Agda's eyes. The Archmage chuckled at her own comment, then blushed red because of her lover's laughter.

The Imperial thought she was simply adorable.

"I am a contradiction indeed, Agds", he replied to her comment. "Yet, I think I won't be walking for a while".

Steinarius had meant for his comment to sound witty, but it only managed to wipe away the happiness that had briefly shone on Agda's face.

"I will get you out of here, Stein", the mage whispered, her hands clenched into fists and a look of determination in her brown eyes. "I may die trying, but I promise I will save you".

* * *

A few days after Agda's promise, Steinarius' conditions abruptly worsened. Until then the poison had been kept at bay by Agda's potions and by her spells, but now that the alchemist had run out of most of her ingredients, the warrior was feeling weaker and weaker. The Dragonborn now feared he wouldn't live to see the sky again.

"Agds, we need to talk".

Surprised by those words, the mage abandoned her place on the floor and sat down on Steinarius' bed. Despite the fire crackling in the corner, the air inside their shelter was cold and damp; yet, the Imperial was covered in sweat.

"We won't survive this, will we?"

Confronted with that direct question, Agda's eyes widened.

"Stein, what..."

"We won't survive this, Agds, and you know it as well as I do", Steinarius repeated.

His voice was determined but fleeble, whereas his grey eyes were particularly shiny. He was panting and Agda knew that, had she laid her hand upon his chest, she would have been shocked by the warmth radiating from his body and by the maddening rhythm of his heart. The effects of the poison had broken out only a few hours ago, but Steinarius was already experiencing the worst of it: he was drifting in and out of consciousness and there was nothing Agda could do to help him.

"We won't survive this, Agds", the man said while reaching for the girl's hand. "Not if we stick together. I'm too weak to move, you've run out of healing potions, we have no food left, there's a bunch of angry Falmer waiting for us to come out of here... it's just a matter of time before we die like rats trapped in a corner - and I don't want you to die because of me".

"Stein, you're exag..."

"I'm not exaggerating, Agds! For my sake, gather your things and get out of this damned hut!"

Steinarius immediately regretted losing his temper - and when Agda let go of his hands and started sobbing, he couldn't help but curse himself and his hateful personality.

"Agda, listen to me", the man said, his tone softer and gentler. "Please, honey. You know I didn't mean to snap at you - and you know that, if I could, I would stand up and hug you".

When Agda didn't say anything, Steinarius sighed. At least being confined in a hut surrounded by Falmer meant that Agda had no way to run away from him.

"Agda, try to be rational: I'm too weak to move, so I have to rely on you for everything. If you get out of here, sneak past the Falmer and find your way back to the surface world, then you will be able to call for help and to find the ingredients you need to cure me. I may die anyway, sure; but if you stay here and do nothing, I will die for sure".

Agda shook her head, but Steinarius didn't stop talking: at least, the stubborn mage was listening.

"There is something else, Agds: if I die, go to the Companions. Not the Blades, not the Greybeards, not the Empire: _the Companions_. They don't have the means to kill Alduin, but they're the only ones who can ruin his plans to end the world. It won't last forever, but they may hold him off for a couple of years, maybe more. After all, time has a different meaning for dragons".

When Agda didn't say anything, Steinarius sighed. It had been days since he'd last spoken so much and he now felt spent and dizzy. When the ceiling of the room seemed to collapse on him, the Dragonborn squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered as a new wave of pain washed over his body.

He deeply wished Agda would eventually forget her pride and listen to him.

* * *

That night Steinarius' situation rapidly worsened. Agda could only sit by his side and squeeze his hand whenever he whimpered in his sleep, which made her feel utterly useless and unhappy. Her lover had been right: she couldn't save him without leaving their shelter and looking for help in the outside world - but to look for help in the outside world, she had to abandon him while he was weak, unconscious and surrounded by angry Falmer. In a way, leaving him in that situation felt like sentencing him to death.

As Steinarius'heartbeat became slower and slower, however, Agda decided that she needed to act. Her man was going to die anyway and she didn't have the strength to sit by him and watch him fade after hours of agony; as a consequence, she decided to follow his advice and venture into Blackreach.

 _At least you'll be happy I listened to you_ , the girl thought as she packed her knapsack and gave a long look to the man she loved. Then, with one last kiss on his lips, Agda finally set off in the darkness.

* * *

Agda didn't know how long she walked through Blackreach. The Falmer around her shelter were less than usual, therefore getting past them with the aid of an invisibility spell was surprisingly easy. Yet, Agda soon remembered why she hated that foul place with all her mind and heart and soul. Not only was Blackreach full of enemies - it was also the worst place to get lost in.

During her adventure Agda encountered many places she had already visited, but couldn't come across any of the passages to the outside world. Sad and disappointed, she eventually decided to abandon her quest and return to Steinarius.

 _I've left him to die alone_ , the mage thought with a shiver - and as soon as that awareness hit her, Agda wished she hadn't listened to the Imperial's advice.

As soon as she turned on her heels, however, the Archmage realized that she couldn't remember the way back to the farmhouse. Cursing, she decided to roam around Blackreach in the hope she could find something that could help her orientation skills. When she came across a tall tower, the girl regained some of her hope: from the top of that tall building she could finally locate her destination.

As she pushed open the entrance to that place, Agda sighed. She had no idea she had just reached the Tower of Mzrak, the resting place of the Elder Scroll she had so desperately tried to find.

* * *

Steinarius suddenly awoke to a feeling of coldness and immediately realized that his room was overrun by darkness. When he noticed that all the candles were out and that Agda's heartbeat was nowhere to be heard, the Imperial sighed: that stubborn woman had finally listened to his advice and left him. On the one side, that fact made him happy because it meant that Agda had a chance to survive; on the other, it hurt him to think of all the things he would leave behind at the moment of his death. Also, it hurt to think that he would never see his loved one again - after all, Imperials like him didn't go to Sovngarde.

Over the following hours the poison seemed to become even stronger. Steinarius slowly lost contact with the world and soon began hallucinating, just like he'd done about one year before, after he'd been poisoned by that wicked vampire who had tried to kill Agda in the woods around Lake Ilinalta. One moment the man thought he was with his sweet mage back in Riverwood, making love to her in her little room inside the Sleeping Giant; another moment he believed he was in Karth, arguing with Delphine because of some crazy project; the next one instead he was in Whiterun, his late son in his arms and a faceless woman by his side.

Eventually, Steinarius felt the ground shake in the aftermath of a loud explosion. He seemed to hear the screeching wails produced by many Falmer and the strong crash produced by a heavy rock collapsing to the ground. The ground shook once again, then everything went silent.

 _This is it_ , Steinarius thought. _My time of dying_.

The last thing he expected in that moment was to feel a gentle caress on his cheeks and words of hope in his ears.

"I've got the Scroll, Stein", Agda whispered. "And I've got you too".

* * *

Agda struggled under the weight of her knapsack and Steinarius' limp body. She had retrieved the Elder Scroll by some miracle, then she had made it back to the Imperial's den. She had killed the angry Falmer outside by causing part of the cave roof to collapse, then she had used the potions she had retrieved in the Tower of Mzrak to improve Steinarius' health. Now that they had almost made it back to the surface world, however, the Imperial had lost consciousness once again.

"Do not die on me", Agda hissed, fatigue and despair well evident in her voice. "Do not die on me, Stein, otherwise I'll come find you in the Hunting Grounds - or wherever it is that you Imperials go after you die - and I will kill you again".

When Steinarius didn't reply, Agda understood that her lover was fighting hard for dear life.

There was a loud screech, then the elevator of the Tower of Mzrak finally came to a halt. When the doors got opened, Agda was blinded by the cold morning sun. There was white snow all around her and fresh gusts of healthy air and the blue sky above her; yet, the girl couldn't fully savor that rebirth: before rejoicing, she wanted to get Steinarius to a healer.

Half stumbling, half dragging the Imperial behind her, the young Archmage finally reached the foot of the hill. There was a road nearby and, much to her relief, Agda noticed two people walking on it.

"Help!", she screamed with all the force her lungs could master. "My man and I are injured! Help!"

Agda saw the two strangers exchange a worried look. They seemed farmers, whereas she probably looked like a maniac: she was covered in blood and dirt, she was wearing a sleeveless dress despite the cold, she was sporting a terrified and desperate expression; on top of that, she was dragging a consciousless warrior as though he was nothing more than a sack of potatos.

Despite her weird appearance, the two farmers eventually approached Agda. One of them was a man, the other was probably his wife. For a moment they looked at the girl with a mixture of suspicion and nervousness; when the mage eventually fell to her knees and burst into a desperate cry, however, they forgot those feelings and immediately ran to her side.

The woman was quick to cover Agda with her cloak and to soothe her with a hug, the man instead knelt by Steinarius' side and quickly checked his heartbeat. When he realized that the situation was serious, he took the Imperial in his strong arms and immediately walked back to the road.

"The name's Loreius", he quickly explained. "My wife and I were looking for herbs and other alchemy ingredients to help us raise our crop. We live in a farm not far from Whiterun and we have tied our carriage nearby. If it's okay for you, we can bring you to our house and fetch a healer for your man".

Agda tried to talk, but her sobs made it impossible to understand her words. After all the misadventures from the previous days, the girl couldn't believe her luck: Danice Pure-Spring was the best healer she knew - and with her help, Steinarius definitely had a chance to survive his injuries.


	63. Home is where your heart is

**Author's note:**

 **Ladies and gentlemen, here I am with the usual update. I'm really excited about this chapter, even though I'm not entirely satisfied with the way it came out - in my mind, everything was much more lovely and precise...**

 **Before introducing this new instalment, however, I want to thank all my faithful readers and followers and favoriters and reviewers.**

 **I'm really glad Elspeth enjoyed the way Agda retrieved the Elder Scroll - it took me quite a while to come up with that idea! (*pats herself on the shoulders*)**

 **As for KSausage's review, I usually do immersive playthroughs too - which is why I hate Blackreach with all my heart. For the Clairvoyance spell, I actually have a huge problem with it: my orientation skills are very bad both in game and in real life - and surprisingly enough, that spell makes things even worse for me, which is why I didn't mention it in the last chapter. By the way, thank you for pointing out that weak link in the story: one day I'll probably go back to the previous instalment and say something about Agda's relationship with that spell. I love your constructive remarks!**

 **As for The Mikaelson Cupcake, worry not: Steinarius and Agda will make it out of this adventure too ;)**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ to Valtieri: I love your remarks and I envy your knowledge of the different fandoms! I'd never noticed the similarities between the names of Moria and Blackreach!**

 **And now, on the next chapter!**

* * *

 **15th of Mid Year, 4E 203**

Groaning with the effort, Steinarius finally came to in a dark and unknown room. The Imperial could hear the soothing sound of a crackling fire and the nice scent of cleanliness and floral herbs; also, he could feel warmth radiating from the heavy furs that were currently covering his body.

 _So this is it_ , the Dragonborn thought with a frown. _That's where Imperials go after they die. Honestly, I expected something much more dramatic._

His brow still furrowed, Steinarius tried to sit up. He was laying in a bed of some sorts and, from the feeling of the furs on his skin, he was probably naked; yet, he was determined to discover how that mysterious place actually looked like.

As soon as he used his hands to support his weight, however, the Dragonborn had a very bad surprise: a sudden jolt of pain namely shot through his body, thus causing him to fall back on the bed.

 _Things are not like they are supposed to be_ , Steinarius thought while hissing in discomfort. All of a sudden, the man wasn't so sure of his whereabouts anymore. _If I'm dead, why am I still feeling pain? And if I'm dead and I've actually ended up in the Imperial Paradise of legends, why am I smelling cabbages and carrots? I hate cabbages and carrots!_

Fighting his confusion, Steinarius tried to analyze his situation once again. If he could still feel pain and smell cabbages and other foul things, he probably wasn't dead - and if he wasn't dead, he was probably still trapped somewhere in Blackreach.

 _That's impossible_ , the man thought with a snort. _When Agda abandoned me, I was about to die. Not even that woman could be crazy enough to risk her life to come bak and save me. Naaah, I'm probably dead and I've ended up in some weird place dedicated to Imperials who hate cabbages and carrots. Maybe the fight for my soul eventually ended with Sheogorath's victory: at least, that would explain the cabbages..._

As he was still lost in those thoughts, Steinarius noticed a faint heartbeat coming from a place to his right. Grunting in effort, the man turned his head to the source of the noise - and as he did, he found an answer to all his questions. He wasn't dead - and he wasn't in Blackreach either. Apparently, Agda had managed to get him out of troubles and bring him to a safe location - had that not been the case, the mage wouldn't be sleeping like a log on the top of what looked like a very uncomfortable drawer.

As he carefully observed her, Steinarius noticed Agda's messy hair and her pale face; on top of that, the man realized that his woman was whimpering in her sleep, almost as though she was having a nightmare. The mage was wearing a farmer dress that looked a bit too tight for her and was using an old knapsack as a pillow. When her uncomfortable whimpers got even louder, Steinarius decided that he was time he woke her.

"Agds", he whispered with the firmest and loudest voice he could find. "Agds, wake up! It's just a nightmare, sweetheart".

The woman tossed and turned on her makeshift bed for a couple of minutes, during which Steinarius kept on whispering her name. Eventually, Agda awoke with a little cry and immediately sat up on the drawer. She looked pale and worried and Steinarius felt the need to get up and gather her in his arms - unfortunately, he was too sore even to raise his voice.

There was a moment of silence during which the young mage covered her face with her hands, almost as though she wanted to make the demons from her nightmares disappear from her sight. A few seconds later, she raised her head and finally saw Steinarius. Her brown eyes immediately found his grey ones - and as they did, the woman abruptly got up from her shelter and approached her man. Steinarius noticed that she was about to burst into a joyful cry.

"You're alive!", the girl squealed, relief and surprise evident in her trembling voice.

Steinarius nodded, then he did his best to smile.

"I am as surprised as you are, honey", he joked.

Agda didn't seem to share his amusement: she raised her eyes to the ceiling and murmured a prayer to the Divines, then she buried her face in her hands. When she began sobbing, Steinarius realized that his life had probably been on the line for a very long time.

"Agds, honey, it's okay", he said while laying a gentle hand on his lover's thigh. The woman was sitting on his bed and Steinarius was glad he could take advantage of that fact to caress her and comfort her. "I'm here now. I'm awake and I'm sure that in few days time I'll be back to my usual shape. There's no need to cry".

The woman didn't reply for what felt like a lifetime; eventually, however, she shook her head and wiped her face with the sleeve of her dress.

"I know", she said, her voice still full of relief. "It's just... after escaping Blackreach, I thought you wouldn't make it. You were unconscious for two weeks and not even Danica believed she could save you. I... I didn't want you to die, Stein, not because of me!"

Steinarius frowned as he heard those words. By now how he perfectly remembered getting hurt while defending Agda, just like he remembered begging the girl to leave him to die in Blackreach in order to save her own life. No wonder her lover looked so upset.

"Agds, I'm alright", he whispered, his voice sweet and soothing. "I may feel a bit dizzy and confused, sure, but I'm alright - and I'd feel even better if you stopped crying and explained me what happened after I passed out in Blackreach. Where are we now? And who is Danica? And why are we staying in this wooden house that smells of cabbage, carrots and other damned vegetables?"

Agda chuckled at that last question, a shy tiny chuckle that made Steinarius smile - at least his girl was listening to him.

Slowly but carefully, Agda started recounting all the events that had led the two of them to Loreius' farm. She told Steinarius about the Elder Scrolls, about the two farmers who had so generously saved their lives, about Danica Pure-Spring's efforts to cure him despite his severe injuries.

"You were unconscious for ten days", the woman sighed at the end of her long tale. "We didn't move you to the Temple of Kynareth because we feared you wouldn't survive the journey; actually, we didn't think you would survive at all".

As she said those words, Agda started crying again. Steinarius was amazed by the way she had saved his life and retrieved an Elder Scroll at the same time; but most of all, he was incredibly overrun by the tenderness he felt for that young mage. Agda could be tough and stubborn, but deep down she was still the sweet and gentle innkeeper Steinarius had learned to love during their time in Riverwood.

"It's okay, Agds", he whispered again, his hand gently reaching her elbow in order to soothe her. "Come here, sweetheart: let me hug you".

Agda shook her head and for a moment Steinarius cursed his broken collaborne and the pain he felt every time he tried to move the right side of his body. Yet, when his healthy hand began tugging more heavily on the sleeve of Agda's dress, the girl forgot her man's injuries and finally laid down next to him. Steinarius was quick to cover her with one of his furs and to drape a reassuring arm around her waist.

"I'm alright", he repeated again.

Agda faintly nodded, then she buried her face in the crook between his healthy shoulder and his neck. As soon as she did that, Steinarius felt a bolt of pain through his body, but didn't betray his discomfort: in that moment, he only wanted to feel Agda's welcomed weight on his chest, her sweet scent in his nostrils and the soft tickle of her curls on his cheeks - and if he needed to bear a little pain to experience those feelings, so be it.

There was a brief moment of comfortable silence during which Steinarius reveled in the feeling of Agda' soft and feminine body curled up against his tired and battered one. The woman was gently tracing the line of his breastbone and Steinarius couldn't fight the urge to take her hand into his own and squeeze it with affection.

 _I love this girl_ , he thought as he noticed the way Agda blushed under his slow ministrations. _Agda of Anvil, I love you more than everything else in the world._

Although he knew that these words were true, Steinarius decided not to utter them. He wanted them to be special and he wanted them to be said in another moment - a moment when Agda wasn't crying and when he was free to hug her with both arms and shower her body in sweet, adoring kisses.

Oblivious of her man's thoughts, Agda soon closed her eyes and curled up against him. Once in a while Steinarius could still hear her sob, a fact that sent bolts of guilt through his heart. He hated to see Agda crying - and he hated it even more when he was to blame for her sufferance.

As the girl' sobs slowly came to a halt, Steinarius carefully studied her face. Agda was pale and the scars on her face were made more evident by her tired eyes and by her unusual thinness.

 _We were in Blackreach for more than two weeks after I passed out_ , Steinarius thought as he noticed that - and right then his respect for that tiny woman grew even more.

"You have a bad cut on your forehead", he whispered when he noticed the red gash on Agda's tired face. "Danica didn't cure it".

"Stein, Danica and I were too busy curing you", Agda sweetly replied. "We had to knit your bones and tissues and blood vessels back together, then we had to feed you poisons against bloodloss and poison and infections. Luckily enough, Danica is the best healer I've ever met: without her, you wouldn't be doing so well".

Steinarius frowned. Danica had always been the favourite healer of the Companions, but he didn't think she was the best Restoration mage of the country.

"You're much better than Danica", he told Agda. "Also, you're much younger and prettier".

As he said that, Steinarius couldn't prevent his eyes from roaming over Agda's chest. Now that she was laying down beside him, her tight farmer dress allowed him a very good view of her cleavage.

"Don't get used to it", the mage jokingly said while understanding the source of Steinarius' pleased expression and covering her chest at the same time. "Loreius' wife is much thinner than me, so the dresses she lent me are a bit too tight. As soon as we get out of here, however, I'll go back to my beloved baggy mage robes".

Steinarius chuckled at that, a fact that caused a violent spasm to rip through his body.

"You're doing surprisingly fine because you gulped an incredible amount of potions a few hours ago", his woman explained him. "Yet, you shouldn't forget that you're still recovering from a nasty injury".

Steinarius nodded, then he decided to stay still as long as he could. The red cut on Agda's forehead, however, made it impossible for him to keep the promise he had just made to himself.

"Agds, would you please catch me some bandages and a healing potion?"

Surprised by the question, the girl propped herself on an elbow.

"Why do you need a potion? Are you..."

"It's not for me", Steinarius kindly broke her off. "It's for you. I want to help you with that gash".

Moved by her man's worry for that tiny cut, Agda burst into a little laughter.

"Stein, it's not a big deal! And then there's no need for bandages or else: it takes just one healing spell to cure a small gash like mine", she said while using her Restoration skills to make the little cut on her forehead disappear. Surprised by that quick procedure, Steinarius frowned.

"I didn't think it would take you so little", he mumbled. "I just wanted to do something nice for you. You've been curing me for more than two weeks and I thought..."

Agda chuckled again, then she broke Steinarius off by placing her pointing fingers on his lips.

"Hush", she whispered. "There's no need for you to act as a healer, Stein. I already know that I'm with the nicest warrior of the world - and luckily enough, he's also the sweetest man I've ever known. There's no need to overdo it, love".

Agda ended that sentence by kissing Steinarius' lips softly, gently, with all the tenderness she could muster. Defeated, the man closed his eyes and sighed.

"You do know how to make me shut up", he dramatically said.

Agda laughed, a loud and happy laughter that brought about an explosion of happiness in Steinarius' heart - and when the woman laid by his side and fell asleep in his arms, the Imperial felt the desire to propose to her and spend the rest of his life with that little mage.

The Dragonborn had no doubts: he wanted to marry Agda and build a family with her - and to do that, he wanted her to find out about the most hidden parts of his past.

* * *

Whiterun was as crowded and busy as always. Agda felt a bit intimated when she reached the main entrance of the city and she felt even more intimated when one of the guards asked her who she was and what she was doing there. Before the mage could speak, however, Steinarius intervened.

"She's with me", he said, his voice firm and strong. "And I'd be very glad if you spoke to her with more kindness. I'm your Thane and she's my companion".

There was a moment of astonished silence as the guard - a bearded old man with an aura of self-importance around him - opened his mouth in a wide "oh". Agda could perfectly understand his surprise: Steinarius was wearing farmer clothes and a hood that covered most of his face; she, on the other hand, was wearing what little was left of her mage robes and was carrying a little basket full of alchemy ingredients. No wonder the guard had mistaken them for strangers.

Before the sentinel could recover from his surprise, Steinarius reached for Agda's elbow and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Let's go", he told her. "Lydia is getting the house ready for us".

Agda frowned at the mention of Lydia. She'd met that beautiful woman on the previous night, when Steinarius had summoned her at Loreius' farm.

 _Agda and I will be staying in Blackreach while I recover from the injury,_ he'd told his huskarl. _I want you to het Breezehome ready for us._

Agda had been surprised by the way Steinarius had given orders to that beautiful warrior - and she'd been even more surprised when she'd noticed the annoyance in Lydia's eyes.

"Are you sure Lydia has obeyed you?", she asked when Steinarius mentioned his huskarl. "She didn't seem happy to see you".

Much to her surprise, the man chuckled.

"Agds, Lydia is 'sworn to carry my burden', as she herself loves repeating. I once felt guilty for neglecting her, but I understood the truth after I first asked her to come with me on a quest: that girl would make a wonderful cook and an even better sentinel, but she's not good at fighting against bandits or bears or undead. She doesn't like me because she thinks I underestimate her, but I never ask her to come with me just because I want to keep her safe. My other huskarls are much better warriors, therefore I don't have troubles bringing them along during my quests".

The last sentence caused Agda to frown.

"How many huskarls have you got, exactly?"

Under his hood and his blonde scrubble, Steinarius' cheeks slightly flushed red.

"Three, if my memory doesn't fail me. There's Lydia, then there's Argis... and there's also Jordis, although technically she's my father's housecarl. She was assigned to him after our former housecarl retired".

Agda was shocked by the discovery. Only then did she realize that she didn't really know how wealthy her partner was.

"If you have three huskarls, how many houses have you got?"

Confronted with that new question, Steinarius' cheeks became even redder. The man hated talking about his titles.

"Proudspire Manor belongs to dad, whereas Vlindrel Hall was given to me by the Jarl of Markarth. Severin Manor instead was a gift from the ruler of Raven Rock. Actually, there's only one house I bought with my own money long before becoming the Dragonborn - and that's Breezehome. I purchased it after I discovered I was about to become a dad".

Those words were like a cold shower to Agda: all of a sudden, they namely reminded her of Steinarius' past life with Vigdis. The man seemed to notice her distress and draped his healthy arm around her waist. His other limb, the one whose collarbone was broken, was neatly wrapped in a bandage that prevented Steinarius from moving it.

"Agds, you're all my life now", the man gently told his lover. "Here in Whiterun, however, there are many things that belong to my past. If you want to leave soon, tell me and I'll book a carriage immediately; yet, I would be very glad to take this chance to introduce you to some of my old friends and to present you some parts of my life that you still don't know".

Frowning, Agda looked Steinarius in the eyes. She would have liked to travel to Winterhold right after leaving Loreius' farm, but the man had insisted on spending a few days in Whiterun before heading to the Throat of the World. As she noticed the worry in his grey irises, the young mage understood that her companion really cared about spending a couple of days in his old town together with her - and as soon as she realized it, all her worries disappeared.

"It's okay, Stein", she kindly said. "We'll spend a few days in Whiterun, then we'll leave for the Throat of the World. After all, I think Tolfdir can run the College until my return".

Satisfied by Agda's words, Steinarius' face was brightened by a huge smile.

"Come", he said while grabbing Agda by the elbow. "I want to show you my favorite place in the city".

* * *

The marketplace of Whiterun was as busy as usual. Agda had visited with Delphine on a couple of occasions, but she'd never really had the time to observe the goods displayed by all the different merchants. Now, however, she could remain there as long as she wanted. Next to her, Steinarius seemed equally interested in the products they were observing - and when he disappeared for a moment, Agda thought he had gone to analyze the weapons displayed outside Belethor's shop. As a consequence, when the man returned with a plate full of sweets and a mischievous smile on his lips, Agda couldn't hide her surprise.

"Apple pie, roasted nuts, boiled cream and sweet rolls", the Dragonborn proudly said while presenting his gifts to Agda. "Hulda is the best cook in the whole town - and since you are the sweetest woman I know, I wanted you to taste some of her creations".

Agda laughed at Steinarius' enthusiasm and she laughed even more when he eagerly devoured a sweet roll only to find his blonde scrubble completely covered in sugar.

"This reminds me why I always shave", the man complained when Agda burst into another laughter. "The next time I venture into Blackreach or some other foul places, I'll take a razor with me".

Agda was still chuckling when she and her man got to a little stall where an old woman had displayed many different jewels. The girl immediately noticed their high quality and soon fell in love with a little silver necklace in the shape of a star.

"I'd never seen anything like that", she said, admiration well evident in her voice. "Necklaces usually have the boring, round shape".

Spurred by that comment, the old merchant began telling Agda about the jewels produced by her husband, the best blacksmith of Skyrim.

Steinarius didn't like Frida, and he didn't really get on with Eorlund either; yet, when he noticed the loving look in Agda's eyes, he was quick to ask the old woman how much the necklace cost. When the merchant answered with a very high price, Agda deadpanned; Steinarius, instead, simply gathered his money and offered them to Frida.

"Stein, no!", the mage said as soon as she understood what her man was about to do. "It's a beautiful necklace, sure, but it's too expensive! And then, it's just a jewel! We'd better waste money on..."

"Agds, I'm not wasting money", Steinarius said with a low chuckle. "I'm happily buying an expensive necklace because I want to give it to you. I'm allowed to buy you some gifts, aren't I?"

Surprised by that reply, Agda stuttered.

"Of course you are allowed to buy me gifts, but..."

"No _but_ s, honey: this is my money and I'm using it to buy something for you. I don't see anything wrong in it".

As Frida accepted the payment and wrapped the necklace in a delicate envelopment, Agda blushed and looked at Steinarius in order to find traces of annoyance on his face. In that moment she noticed the way his grey eyes were fixed on Frida, she noticed the blonde scrubble he had grown in Blackreach, she noticed his singsong accent and his calm voice; a moment later, when he turned towards her and smiled, Agda also noticed the sugar that was still trapped on his chin and on his cheeks - and as she did, she understood that she had found the perfect man for her.

* * *

Breezehome was a cozy wooden house in the middle of the city. Agda knew how clumsy and messy Steinarius could be, therefore she didn't expect his home to look so neat and clean.

"Lydia does a goob job with it", Steinarius shrugged when confronted with that remark. "And then, I'm not here often. Actually, I can't remember the last time I spent the night here. That's why yesterday evening I asked Lydia to come at Loreius' farm: I wanted her to prepare everything for our arrival".

As he spoke, Steinarius pushed open the door to his house. He was nervous: ever since Vigdis had left him, that was the first time he welcomed someone into his house - and that someone was the very same person who was about to replace his former companion. Hopefully Agda wouldn't abandon him like Vigdis had done in the past.

The young mage was very surprised as she entered her man's house. She knew that, to Steinarius, that moment was very important - after all, that was the house where he and Vigdis had lived for a very long time; if he had decided to lead Agda there, it meant that he wanted to disclose his whole past to her in the hope she could be her one and only partner for the future, near and distant alike.

"Come in", Steinarius said when he noticed the hesitation on Agda's face. "Lydia did a wonderful job here".

Spurred by that invitation, Agda slowly walked inside the house. She immediately noticed the two chairs standing by a crackling fire - and as she did, in her mind she pictured her and Steinarius sitting there on a cold winter night, a cup of cocoa in their hands and a blanket on their knees; she imagined talking to her man about futile things such as the need to buy new shoes or Belethor's latest goods, then she imagined she and Steinarius reading side by side in the calmness of that beautiful room.

 _This is what the future could have in store for us_ , Agda thought - and as she did, she realized that she desperately wanted that future for herself and the man she loved.

By her side, Steinarius was probably lost in similar thoughts. There was a lingering sadness in his eyes now, as he thought of all the times he had held Vigdis in his arms in front of that fireplace, all while trying to read her a book and give her some relief from the bolts of pain that were running through her body ever since she'd been attacked by Arnbjorn.

"I didn't know you had so many books!"

Luckily enough, Agda's remark quickly snapped Steinarius out of his thoughts. The woman had noticed the little bookshelf he himself had built right after buying that house. Spurred by curiosity, the mage analyzed some of their titles. She knew that Steinarius was fond of reading, but she'd never expected him to have a small selection of books in his own house. A moment later, Agda's attention was drawn by the huge table at the end of the room.

"I often invited friends over when I lived here", Steinarius explained her. "Actually, I think that one of those evenings I could ask Adrianne and her husband to pay us a visit".

Although she didn't know who Adrianne was, Agda nodded. For a brief moment she pictured Steinarius and Vigdis sitting at that table together with a lot of Companions - then, however, she quickly washed that image away.

 _This is about me and Steinarius,_ the mage obstinately told herself. _Not Steinarius and Vigdis._

Despite those thoughts, Agda soon realized that Vigdis' ghost was meant to haunt her for the rest of the day.

"What is this room?", she asked when she noticed a little door to her left.

"That is the place where Lydia sleeps", Steinarius promptly replied. "It used to be Vigdis' alchemy laboratory".

Agda was so shocked that she felt her jaw drop to the floor.

"You had an alchemy lab in your house? For Vigdis?!"

Slightly scared by that reaction, Steinarius nodded.

"I told you she was a good alchemist".

Blinking, Agda tried to picture Steinarius' companion brewing a complicated potion. Not only was that woman beautiful - she was clever too.

All of a sudden, Agda felt as though her man had chosen her as his lover just because he wanted to replace Vigdis with a similar woman.

 _Don't be silly_ , a voice from the back of her mind luckily whispered. _Had Steinarius wanted a copycat of Vigdis, he would have gone for a warrior, not for a mage_.

For a moment, that voice managed to calm Agda. When she reached the second floor of the small house, however, the girl felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. There was a small hall in that place, which led to a huge room with a very big bed. It didn't take a genius to realize that that was the place where Vigdis and Steinarius used to sleep.

"This is...", Agda said while blushing as red as a tomato. Even while she was speaking, she couldn't help but picture Steinarius and Vigdis naked, smiling at each other and exchanging words of love and trust and fidelty in that huge room.

"Agds, I didn't burn the bed after Vigdis left me", Steinarius muttered. Right then the Imperial looked even more embarrassed than the young mage. "I did change the mattress and the blankets, though".

Slightly relieved, Agda took a step inside the room. There was a good smell of juniper and lavender and the girl immediately realized that it was the same scent she felt every time she kissed Steinarius; also, inside the room there were a few drawers and a couple of crossed swords right over the bedpost.

"Shit", Steinarius hissed as he saw the weapons. "I'd told Lydia to take those swords away... I wanted her to replace them with magical staves or something similar", he added with a guilty expression on his face.

Frowning, Agda took a step towards the offending objects. It didn't take her much to realize that she was looking at the weapons Steinarius and Vigdis used to wield in battle.

"A dwarven sword", the mage said while looking at the longer of the two swords. "You had a similar one when we first met in Riverwood".

When Steinarius nodded without saying anything, Agda understood that on that occasion he had wielded Vigdis' weapon.

"I... I thought you had forgotten her", the mage said, her voice weak and fleeble. "I thought you only cared about me now. Instead, you still wield her weapon and..."

"Agds, I was a different man when we met", Steinarius quickly broke the mage off, his voice thick with a mixture of pain and regret. "I swear I havent touched that sword in a lifetime. I have got over Vigdis, Agds, believe me when I say I have: now I hate that woman and I hate the way she always seems to ruin everything good I find in my life. Damn, I wish I would have had enough sense to take you to an inn rather than in this wrecked place. I should have known that we would have ended up talking about my past once again!"

Surprised by the man's tone, Agda turned to look at him. Steinarius was standing on the threshold, his eyes fixed on the floor and his hands clenched in fists. He was shaking and the mage suddenly realized that she was being an idiot about that whole visit to his house. Steinarius was really trying to move on, Agda thought - and it was unfair of her to criticize him because of an old weapon.

"It's okay", the mage said while going back towalking towards the Imperial. "I'm sorry Stein: I didn't mean to..."

"I'm sorry too", Steinarius replied with a heartbreaking sigh. "Believe me, I'm sorry I snapped - and I'm even more sorry for bringing you here. I just..."

When the man trailed off, Agda shushed him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He was much taller than her, so the mage had to lay her hands on his chest for support. When Steinarius replied with a groan and deepened the kiss, Agda felt that her jealousy had been completely unfounded: Steinarius might have been in love with Vigdis, but now he was hers, completely and only hers - and that was something an old and rusty sword clearly couldn't change.

* * *

Steinarius felt incredibly relieved when he and Agda finally made their way back to the entrance fo Breezehome. The girl had immediately realized that he was telling her the truth about Vigdis, but her jealousy had somehow managed to hurt him because it meant that, after all that time, Agda still didn't trust him.

Unfortunately, Steinarius realized that he had rejoiced too early: while walking to the ladder that connected the two floors of his house, Agda namely noticed a little chamber on the right.

"What is that room?", she asked - and as she did, Steinarius felt a lump in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he had taken a peek inside that little room - yet, when he looked Agda in the eyes, he understood that it was high time he faced that part of his past too.

 _Now or never,_ the Imperial thought - and as he did, he took a big breathe and approached the door to the chamber.

"This... This was Eidan's room", he said.

A moment later, with another sigh, Steinarius pushed open the door that for all those years had defended him from the darkest memories of his life.

* * *

When she heard Eidan's name, Agda felt her heart skip a beat and immediately regretted her question.

She expected Steinarius to dismiss her curiosity and keep on walking towards the exit of the house, so she was almost shocked when the man sighed and opened the door to his late son's chamber. Agda thought about keeping still and saying that she didn't want to visit that place, but in the end curiosity had the upper hand - and as soon as it did, Agda walked inside the small room and let out a surprised squeal: Eidan's former chamber was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen.

Everything in the small room had probably been untouched for months, maybe for years. There were a few shelves full of stuffed toys depicting horses and cats and dogs, whereas on a beautifully engraved ancient drawer stood many little wooden animals; in one corner of the room there was a little cabin full of children books, whereas on the opposite side of the chamber there was a tiny bed covered by colourful woolen blankets that sported the coat of arms of the different cities of Skyrim. The curtains had been painted in bright colours that portrayed birds and other little animals, whereas on the floor there were a few wooden swords and shields. But what attracted Agda's attention more than everything else was the huge painting in front of her eyes. The girl had never seen anything like that: the painting occupied the whole wall and had never been completed. The main colours were green and red and blue and the figures had probably been drawn by a beginner, as they were seemingly blurred and the proportions weren't perfect; yet, that painting was the cutest thing Agda had ever observed in her life.

There was a cute green dragon in one corner, whereas on the other side of the wall there was a little boy with blonde hair and black eyes. The painting showed the story of the friendship between the dragon and the boy from their childhood to their adulthood - and in the end, it showed their fight against a lot of horrible little goblins coming out of a cave. The goblins had not been completed, but Agda could nonetheless notice that their features weren't as scary as real goblins actually were - apparently, the painter had tried to adapt that scene to the chamber of an infant.

Still attracted to that painting, Agda walked towards it and laid a hand on the cute little dragon. A moment later, she finally found the strength to look towards Steinarius.

"Vigdis..."

Without saying anything, the man shook his head. His face was in the shadow, therefore Agda couldn't read his expression.

"A friend of yours..."

Once again, Steinarius shook his head.

Agda made a lot of other attempts at guessing the author of the painting. Eventually, truth dawned over her and caused her heart to skip a bit.

"You did this", she whispered, surprise and sadness evident in her voice.

"I've never been good at painting, but a professional painter was too expensive", the Imperial nodded. "Back then I didn't own four houses, so I decided to paint Eidan's room myself. Somehow, I came up with the story of a little dragon and his human friend - and I decided to paint it on the wall. Vigdis said it was horrible, but I think that deep down she quite liked it".

"It's adorable", Agda said, tenderness well evident in her voice.

Chuckling bitterly, Steinarius approached her.

"It was high time someone admitted it", he smiled. "Actually, Eidan was adorable too. He was..."

When Steinarius trailed off, Agda turned to look at him. There were tears in his eyes and the girl couldn't help but caress his cheeks.

"Stein..."

"It's okay", the man said. He seemed embarassed by his sudden weakness and couldn't find the strength to look Agda in the eyes. Then, however, Steinarius let his feelings free to speak.

"When I decided to bring you here, I didn't want you to feel guilty because I still think of Vigdis - and I certainly didn't want you to get mad at me because of the sword in my bedroom", he told Agda, his eyes still fixed on the floor. "I just... I just wanted you to know more about me and about who I am.

"Ever since you've met me, Agds, I've always been busy fighting dragons and rebels and other creatures; yet, I wanted you to know that there is another, better side of me - the side that built the bookshelf in the living room, that side that loves sweet rolls more than weapons, the side that painted this wall for my late son. I wanted you to know it because I love you, Agds, and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such a special woman. Hopefully, now that you've seen the best side of me, I won't feel so guilty every time I think of how lucky I was to find you".

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius stopped speaking and hastily rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands.

When he finally found the courage to look at Agda, the Imperial realized that the girl was already staring at him. He made to say something, but the mage immediately shushed him - and a moment later, she caressed his cheeks and laid a long kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, Stein", Agda whispered after finally pulling away from her man. "I love you, and I can't wait for you to slay Alduin so that we can spend the rest of our lives together".

Steinarius chuckled at that confession, then he leant towards Agda and kissed her again.

For the first time since Vigdis left him, he finally felt happy inside the walls of Breezehome.


	64. Heaven and hell

**AN:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the usual update.n** **As usual, I thank all those who have read the previous instalment.**

 **The** **special _thank you_ of the fortnight goes to The Mikaelson Cupcake, Elspeth and Guest for their very kind words: I got very emotional while writing the final part of chapter 63 and I was glad to know that my readers felt in a similar way too. Also, your compliments made me blush in delight. Thank you again to all of you, you really are the best! **

**On to the current update, I must say that this chapter turned out a bit darker and longer than I'd planned; it is rather fluffy, but I think it is very important for the future development of the story. Also, hopefully it isn't as disappointing as I fear it to be.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **30th of Mid Year, 4E 203**

As Agda approached the house of her neighbours, she couldn't help but feel nervous. The mage was carrying a freshly baked apple-pie and kept on analyzing it with critical eye.

"Agds, the pie is perfect", Steinarius chuckled beside her. "And you are perfect too", he added with a tender smile.

Despite her man's compliments, Agda couldn't diminish her anxiety. Adrianne Avenicci had returned to Whiterun after a long visit to her husband's relatives - and the first thing she'd done after crossing the gate to the city was inviting Steinarius and Agda to her house for dinner.

 _I can't wait to meet your lucky one_ , the blacksmith had joked with Steinarius that morning. _Also, I can't wait for you to meet my son_.

Agda hadn't been present at that encounter between Steinarius and Adrianne; yet, the mention of that beautiful and talented blacksmith had been enough to make her nervous. After all, the Imperial was one of the closest people to Steinarius - and Agda obviously wanted to make a good impression on her.

"What if your friend doesn't like me?", the mage asked, fear well evident in her voice. "I'm only bringing her this crappy pie, all while she probably spent the afternoon cooking for us. And I didn't even buy any gift for her son! Apropos, why didn't you tell me about him? I could have asked somene to knit a tiny scarf or..."

Confronted with the girl's panicked tone, Steinarius chuckled again. Adrianne was his closest friend and he knew that Agda had nothing to worry about; yet, the young mage seemed unable to relax. As he realized that, Steinarius draped his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Agda made to protest, but she fell silent as soon as the Dragonborn kissed her again, this time with much more passion and desire. The two of them were in the middle of the main street of Whiterun, but Steinarius couldn't care less: he was madly in love with Agda and he wanted the whole city to know it.

With a soft whimper, the mage finally broke the contact with her man and blushed. The previous fortnight had been the best one of her life - and despite her nervousness, Agda felt her heart swell with joy every time she thought about Stein's enthusiasm for her upcoming meeting with Adrianne.

The Dragonborn had explained her how much he cared for that beautiful blacksmith - and for the young mage, the fact that he wanted Adrianne to know her was a great sign of trust.

As she finally gathered her courage and walked to the front door of the _Warmaiden's_ , Agda thought of the time she'd spent in Whiterun until then. At first, living in Stein and Vigdis' old town hadn't been easy. There were a lot of little things that constantly reminded Agda that she was a newcomer there - some dusty women clothes she found in a drawer, the few old swords by the door of Breezehome, the questions many curious women asked Steinarius every time the two of them went for a walk... At first Agda felt as an intruder in Whiterun - an intruder who was happy just because Vigdis had ben severely injured by a man she considered her friend. Had Arnbjorn not attacked that poor woman and caused the death of her son...

Luckily enough, Steinarius seemed to have a special sense that allowed him to notice the moments when Agda was pondering on those sad circumstances. Every time the young mage got broody and melancholic, the Imperial was quick to walk up to her, tell her how much he loved her and plant a long and sweet kiss on her lips.

 _I should be the one to feel bad for losing Vigdis_ , he told her one day, while they were taking a walk across the beautiful planes of Whiterun. _But thanks to you, I've got over her escape and I'm now recollecting the pieces of my life. You saved me from an eternity of regrets, Agds, and you shouldn't let the ghost of another woman ruin our happiness._

Agda had been incredibly relieved by those words - and she'd been even more relieved when she'd noticed Steinarius' attempts at making her happy. The man often bought her presents, cooked her breakfast, covered her in kisses and caresses; also, he had helped her fall into a cozy and comfortable routine. Life in Whiterun was fun, easy and interesting and the mage was ready to give up her job in Winterhold in order to spend the rest of her existence in that wonderful place.

As she thought about her desire to build a quiet life with the man she loved, Agda gave Steinarius an affectionate look. The man had decided to keep the blonde scrubble he had grown in Blackreach, but Agda wasn't sure about that change. On the one side, the beard made Steinarius look manlier and more mature; on the other one, however, it gave him a rather wild appearance. Nonetheless, that night the Imperial was particularly handsome: his white shirt and dark pants underlined his muscles, whereas his eyes shone with a very peculiar light. Agda had never seen him so relaxed and couldn't help but wish that their happiness would continue after the final battle with Alduin. Steinarius was meant to leave for the Throat of the World soon - and Agda felt a tingle of nervousness every time she thought about that. Nonetheless, she was confident her man had the means to defeat Alduin and save the whole world from destruction.

"Here we are", Steinarius suddenly said, thus snapping Agda out of her thoughts. "Adrianne's house. Remember, Agda: there is nothing for you to feel nervous about: you are clever and sweet and kind and polite and I'm sure Adrianne will immediately fall in love with you. Also, tonight you are simply stunning".

When the Imperial gave her a loving smile, Agda blushed. That night she had let her hair down and had put on a beautiful silver dress and the star-shaped necklace Steinarius had bought her a few days earlier. With her scars carefully hidden and some war paint under her eyes to underline their shape, the mage felt beautiful for the first time in months.

When Steinarius finally knocked on the door to her house, Adrianne Avenicci was quick to open. Agda was surprised by the beauty of that young blacksmith: Adrianne had long curly hair, wonderful bright eyes, a lovely tan and an amazing smile. Also, she looked gorgeous despite the simple white dress she was wearing.

"Stein, it's been so long!", the woman cried upon seeing her best friend. A moment later, Adrianne turned her attention to Agda and greeted her with a warm smile. "And this must be Agda. Welcome to my house, dear: it's a honor to finally make your acquaintance!"

Before inviting Agda and Steinarius inside, Adrianne hugged both of them and thanked them for the gifts they had brought her. A moment later, she led them towards her little and cozy dining room. Her husband, Wulfberth, was waiting for their hosts there.

"The lil' one is asleep upstairs", that gruff-looking Nord smiled when Steinarius asked about his newborn son. "And as long as he's asleep, we don't want to wake him. You know how loud babies can be".

Agda frowned when she heard those words, whereas Steinarius welcomed them with a smile. A moment later, the two of them sat down and started eating the tasty dishes Adrianne and Wulfberth had prepared for the occasion.

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant: Agda was surprised by Wulfberth and Adrianne's warmth, by their kindness, by the love she could clearly read on their faces. Soon enough, the mage felt as though she'd always been friends with them - and when she noticed how happy and calm and relaxed Steinarius looked, she pictured a future when Alduin was defeated and she and her man could dine with his friends whenever they wanted.

Later that night, Wulfberth and Steinarius decided to clear the table and do the washing-up. Finally alone without their men, Adrianne streteched her spine and gave Agda a friendly smile.

"I was very curious to meet you, Agda", the blacksmith admitted. "Ever since Steinarius asked me for advice more than one year ago, I was left wondering about the innkeeper who had managed to catch his attention - and now that I've finally met you, I can see that you're the perfect woman for him. You are sweet and calm and soothing and I think you are very good at protecting him, at making him feel loved, at supporting him in his difficult task of saving the world. Stein was a broken man after Vigdis left him and I'm glad to see that he's found his enthusiasm and happiness again. I hadn't seen him smile so much in a lifetime, Agda, and all thanks to you. You really are a wonderful couple and I'm sure that one day you'll build an amazing family".

When Adrianne looked at her and smiled, Agda blushed. That woman knew Steinarius ever since they were seventeen, so her compliments meant a lot to the young mage.

"You mentioned Vigdis... what was she like?", Agda found herself asking.

The question didn't surprise Adrianne in the slightest - after all, she had expected Stein's woman to be curious about that mysterious warrior from his past.

"Vigdis had a fire in her, I'll give her that", the blacksmith sighed. "She was beautiful and brave and fierce, but she also had this aura of frailty around her. I guess that's what drew Steinarius to her in the first place: he was extremely fascinated by her most hidden, vulnerable side and longed to make that lonely woman happy. After she got hurt, however, their whole world was destroyed: they both felt guilty for what had happened and they never managed to get over it. Had Vigdis not left, they would have thrown their lives away in a vortex of guilt".

For some reason, Agda felt as though she had already heard those words. Before she could ask Adrianne anything else, however, a wail suddenly reached her ears.

"Marek's finally awake", the blacksmith sighed. "I guess he wants his dinner too; also, I'm sure he wants to meet mommy and daddy's best friends".

As she said those words, Adrianne got up from her seat and went upstairs to retrieve her son. When she returned, Agda felt her heart melt at the sight of the beautiful dark-haired baby in her arms.

"He does look like his dad, doesn't he?", Wulfberth said in that moment. The man had just returned to the room together with Steinarius. "He's got Adrianne's eyes, though. Hopefully he will inherit her beauty too".

As the bulky Nord spoke, he took a couple of steps towards his son and took him in his arms. Much to Agda's surprise, Wulfberth immediately handed the baby over to Steinarius.

"Marek, meet Uncle Stein", he joked. "Be careful, Dragonborn: his voice is as loud as yours. Also, the lad is very heavy already".

As she heard those words, Agda pulled a rather worried face - Steinarius was the clumsiest man she'd ever met and she didn't feel safe knowing that he had a baby in his arms. Her fears, however, disappeared as soon as the Imperial took hold of little Marek. The man looked perfectly at ease with the baby in his arms - and as soon as Steinarius gently shushed him, Marek surprisingly stopped crying.

"He's always been good with children", Adrianne explained when she noticed the shocked look on Agda's face.

Lost in admiration, Steinarius ignored those words and kept on watching Marek.

"A beautiful chubby boy with beautiful chubby cheeks", he commented with a jokeful smile. "Gosh, Adrianne, he's stunning".

"Well, you could ask Agda to get one of those for you too", Wulfberth replied with a wink. "Your namesday is in a month, isn't it?"

Adrianne whispered a healf-hearted reproach, whereas Agda felt her cheeks blush as red as a tomato. Steinarius, on the other hand, chuckled and shrugged.

"I guess I'll have to kill Alduin first", he said with a surprisingly light-hearted tone. "Then, if Agda agrees, we may get one of those for us too", he added while walking towards his girl and gently touching her elbow.

Agda blushed even more, whereas Wulfberth burst into a booming laughter.

"See? Family guy once, family guy forever!"

Steinarius laughed at that comment, whereas Agda felt the desire to cast an invisibility spell to hide the redness on her cheeks. Sensing her embarassement, her companion was quick to give Marek back to Adrianne and change topic of conversation. Later that night, however, when the baby fell asleep and Steinarius took him in his arms once again, Agda didn't fail to notice the expression of love and tenderness on his face - and as she did, she felt the desire to create a family for the first time in her life.

* * *

Agda gave Steinarius a long, loving look. It was early morning and the first rays of sun were filtering through the little windows of their bedroom. As a consequence of the many drinks from the previous night, the man was still sleeping soundly beside his lover. Agda was happy about that: for once she could observe the Dragonborn while he was asleep and revel in the little things she loved so much about him.

Smiling, the mage ran her fingers along the Imperial's hooked nose, she traced the outline of his thin lips, she gently stroked his wild and tousled hair. As she did that, Agda noticed the scent of lavender, nightshade and juniper coming from her lover' skin. Agda loved that smell and she loved the fact that, every time she laid down in their huge bed in Breezehome, she was immediately engulfed by it. That was probably one of the little luxuries of sleeping in the same place every night, the girl thought: after all that time, the rooms of Breezehome had inevitably absorbed Steinarius' unmistakeable scent, that scent that resembled Agda of juniper and lavender and nightshade, of leather and steel and mead. The same was true for his bed: every time Agda laid her head on the pillows, she immediately felt her favourite smell in the world - and that was one of the reasons why she loved Breezehome so much.

As she thought about the previous night, Agda sighed. She, Steinarius, Adrianne, Wulfberth and their baby had met at the _Bannered Mare_ and had spent the night there, listening to Mikael' songs and talking about their routines. Yet, their happiness had been ruined by the fact that Steinarius was meant to leave for the Throat of the World soon.

There was a soft whimper and Agda immediately forgot her thoughts. Steinarius stirred in his sleep, then he slowly opened his eyes. When he saw his lover, he greeted her with a crooked and tired smile.

"Morning, honey".

Agda chuckled at the sleepiness in Stein's voice, then gave him a little kiss on the lips.

"Morning to you too", she smiled.

"How long have you been awake?", the man asked, a tingle of concern in his voice.

"Not long", Agda reassured him with a caress. "Anyway, don't worry: I didn't get bored at all. I love watching you when you're asleep".

Steinarius pulled a worried and serious face.

"That's creepy, honey", he commented.

Agda laughed at that, then she draped her arms around the Imperial and pulled him closer. As she did, she remembered that he was naked.

"Memories from last night", Steinarius jokingly told her when he guessed her thoughts.

Agda had to smile at that. Sleeping in Stein's old house also meant that she and the Imperial had much more privacy than usual - and in turn, that meant they could spend the nights doing whatever they wanted. They still hadn't had proper sex, but on the previous night the girl had teased her lover so much that his groans and shouts had eventually gained the attention of the local guards.

 _You shouldn't use the Thu'um inside cities_ , an overzealant sentinel had told a very shocked Agda on the threshold of her house. _And you shouldn't train inside buildings either_.

"Maybe we could get some more training this morning", Stein said, a mischievous smile on his lips as he remembered that conversation from the previous night. "That paralysis spell of yours was surprisingly good. And the things you did to me while I couldn't move..."

As the man spoke, his voice reminded Agda of a cat's purr. It was amazing to see that human side of the Dragonborn - and it was endearing to know that he showed that side of him only to her.

"I won't train any further with you, Stein", Agda said with a chuckle. "Yesterday night was an exception. Your collarbone..."

"My collarbone is perfectly healed!", Steinarius protested. "Look, I can even rotate my shoulders without problems!"

As he spoke, the Dragonborn tried to support his words by showing Agda that he could move his arms without feeling any pain. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't entirely true - and when he let out a strangled whimper, the mage was quick to take advantage from that.

"You'll be healed soon, sure, but until then I don't want you to make too many efforts".

Steinarius dramatically scoffed.

"Slaying random bandits while we ride in the planes is okay, but making love to you in our bed is dangerous. Sometimes I don't understand you, honey".

Knowing that her man had a point, Agda lowered her gaze and fell silent. As he noticed that his words had got to her, however, Steinarius pulled her closer to his chest. He knew that part of her anxiety probably depended on all she'd suffered at the hands of Ancano - but more than that, he blamed her hesitation on the fact that, every time they were too happy, something always managed to destroy their relationship.

"What's wrong, Agds?"

Shaking her head, the woman buried her face deeper into his chest. When she didn't say anything, the Dragonborn kindly caressed her forehead.

"You're worried something may go awry, aren't you?", he whispered, his voice soft and kind.

"It always does", the mage said, her voice fleeble and weak. "Now I understand how you felt back in Riverwood: to me, it seems like we're living in a bubble of happiness that will explode as soon as we leave this city. This is why I'm pretending you still haven't recovered - and this is why I don't want you to leave for the Throat of the World. Gosh, I wish we could have a quiet life just like Adrianne and Wulfberth! I wish I wasn't the Archmage of Winterhold and I wish you weren't the Dragonborn!"

Steinarius listened to Agda's confession in silence, then he gently ran his hands up and down her spine.

"I'm scared too, Agds", he whispered. "Yet, we must endure this just for a little while. I'm visiting the Greybeards soon - and if everything goes according to my plans, in less than a month Alduin will be dead. And after Alduin dies, I'll move to Winterhold and we'll live there together".

As she heard those words, Agda shook her head. She didn't think things would be that easy; also, she didn't want to go back to Winterhold. Whiterun felt like the perfect place to her and she was eager to build a life there.

Sighing, Steinarius surprised the girl by freeing himself from her hug and getting out of bed. He put on the first clothes he found, then he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

"D'you know what, Agds? If we want to be happy, I need to defeat Alduin - and to defeat Alduin, I need to go to the Greybeards. I can't wait any longer: I'm leaving in a couple of hours".

As she heard those words, Agda was overrun by a hurricane of mixed feelings. Enthusiasm for her man's decision, fear for the upcoming fight against Alduin, sadness at the thought of leaving Whiterun behind and going back to Winterhold. When she realized that she didn't want to return to the College, the woman got up and put on her clothes too.

"I agree with you, Stein", she said while looking her lover in the eyes. "And I'm coming to the Throat of the World with you".

There was a moment of silence during which the Dragonborn scorched Agda's face with his grey eyes. He was worried about her decision, but at the same time he knew he couldn't leave her behind.

"Alright", he eventually sighed. "We'll do this together, Agds - and once we're done, the world will be a better place".

* * *

Leaving Whiterun was much more difficult than Agda had expected. Not only was she forced to say goodbye to everyone she knew - she also had to pack all her belongings. Also, when she finally thought she was ready to go, Steinarius surprised her by voicing his desire to visit the Hall of the Dead.

"I ask for Eidan's protection every time I leave the city", he said, his cheeks red with embarassement.

Agda was surprised by that request, but she was quick to adjust to it - and when Steinarius asked her to go with him, she quickly accepted the invitation.

Eidan's resting place was a simple urn decorated with small paintings and flowers. Agda remained in respectful silence as her man knelt down in front of it and whispered a prayer under his breath. Once Steinarius was done, he left a few coins and a couple of mountain flowers near the tomb, then he took Agda's hand and led her outside Whiterun.

The young mage was surprised when his man decided to ride towards Riverwood rather than taking the shortcut through Valtheim; yet, she understood the reason behind that choice when Steinarius told her that he had warned Hadvar's relatives of their upcoming visit.

Returning to Riverwood was a true surprise for Agda: everyone greeted her with smiles and compliments and everyone made their best to make her feel welcomed and loved. Orgnar suspiciously eyed Steinarius for the whole time, but nonetheless organized a small party for her and the Dragonborn. Sigrid was eager to tell her about all the things that happened in the small town ever since Agda'd left, whereas all the others listened carefully to her tales. By the time the girl managed to leave the small village, it was already late afternoon - and by the time she left, her knapsack had already been filled with beautiful gifts. A couple of gloves knitted by Gerdur, a stuffed toy from little Dorthe, a beautiful elven dagger from Alvor... Agda was amazed by the affection the people of Riverwood showed her and temporarily forgot about Steinarius' upcoming task.

It looked like her former friends still cared about her - and when she realized it, Agda felt like the luckiest woman in Nirn.

* * *

The two riders reached Ivarstead shortly after sunset. Rather than booking a room at the local inn, however, Steinarius led his woman to a small wooden cabin not far from the village.

"It belonged to an alchemist", the man explained. "I bought it about a year ago because I wanted a place where I could rest before facing the Seven-Thousand Steps once in a month. The local inn is too small and busy - and then, I was tired of being asked to kill bears by a madwoman who lives there".

Agda chuckled at that, then she made her way inside the small building. When she noticed the huge bubble bath in a corner and the many roses scattered on the bed, the girl couldn't help but raise her eyebrow in confusion.

"This morning I asked Lydia to come over and make this place a bit more romantic than usual", Steinarius explained, embarassement well evident in his voice. "I'm afraid she might have overdone it. I think she took revenge for the fact that I sent her here with such a short notice".

Agda chuckled at that, then she touched the water inside the bath. It was warm and had a good flowery scent.

"Well, maybe we should take advantage from Lydia's efforts", she murmured. As she spoke, the girl couldn't believe that those words were coming out from her mouth. "After all, someone in this very same room wanted to make love to me no less than twelve hours ago".

There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius carefully watched Agda. There was desire in his eyes, but the girl knew that he was probably wondering whether she was making fun of him. In order to make things even clearer, the young mage took a couple of steps towards him and laid a hand on his chest. Under his light shirt she could feel Steinarius' heartbeat become faster than usual.

"If you have changed your mind, we can obviously just..."

Agda never got to finish that sentence: realizing that she was serious, Steinarius cupped her face in his strong hands and took her in a deep, rough and passionate kiss. A moment later, his right hand went to his shirt and started unbuttoning it, whereas the left one pulled his lover even closer.

Agda was surprised by her man's desire - and she was even more surprised by the needy groan he produced when she laid her hands on his bare chest. It was just a matter of seconds before the strongest warrior of the land took her in his strong arms and carefully laid her on their bed - and it took him just a few more moments to get rid of his trousers and climb over her. When Agda looked at him, she realized that Steinarius' eyes were almost golden with passion. Kissing her again, the man snuck his hands under the hem of her dress; when the mage whimpered because of the contact between her warm flesh and his cold fingers, however, the Imperial abruptly stopped moving. His eyes immediately returned grey, whereas his cheeks flushed red in embarassement.

"Agds, I... I'm sorry. Gosh, it's been so long since the last time I did this... I haven't scared you, have I? Divines, and to say that I wanted to take it slow and make you comfortable! My damned beast blood took over and I..."

Agda tried to stop Steinarius' rants by placing a finger on his lips; yet, the man kept on talking.

"I'm sorry, honey. After all you've been through with that damned Thalmor, I should know better than to assault you like I did. If you have changed your mind about..."

This time, when Agda chuckled and shushed him, Steinarius immediately fell silent. His concern was moving, but it also caused the girl to think of things she'd long tried to forget.

"Stein, I perfectly remember what Ancano did to me", Agda told him, her brown eyes locked with his grey ones. "And I'd be much happier if you hadn't brought it up. I don't want that damned man to take these moments away from me - and this is why I didn't stop you when you kissed me so roughly. I'm ready to sleep with you, love - actually, I've never been more ready than this".

Steinarius was moved by Agda's words and he replied to them by kissing her on the lips. Then, much to the mage' surprise, he sat up on the bed and took her into his arms, so that the girl found herself in his lap. At that point the Imperial gently caressed his hair and nipped her neck. Surprised by his sweetness, Agda closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him.

Steinarius kept on kissing her neck for what felt like a lifetime. His ministrations were slow and sweet and sensual and soon enough Agda realized that her heartbeat had sped up.

"Stein..."

When she whispered his name, the man immediately looked up at her with a tingle of worry in his eyes. As she saw herself reflected in his grey irises, Agda realized she couldn't wait for him any longer.

"Undress me", she whispered, her voice needy and shy at the same time.

Steinarius smiled at Agda's eagerness, then he nuzzled her neck and held her close, squeezing her in a tight embrace. A moment later, his finger found the buttons of her dress.

He undressed his lover slowly, tenderly, kissing every patch of skin that was revealed to his eyes and reveling in the sighs that often left her lips. When Agda laid back on the bed and brought his hands to her breasts, Steinarius realized that the mage wanted this just as much as he did. The Dragonborn peeled the last clothes off her body with all the tenderness he could muster, reveling in the feeling of her soft and cold skin under his callous fingers. Steinarius could feel the lines of Agda' scars as he caressed her, but right then he couldn't care less - and when he began exploring her body and studying the reactions on her face, he felt like the luckiest man in the world. Agda was the most incredible woman he knew and she was amazingly, completely his.

They made love slowly, sweetly, all while making sure to satisfy each other's desires. Steinarius allowed Agda to set the rhythm, to guide his hands along her body, to tell him how she wanted to be kissed and caressed and loved. He looked her in the eyes for the whole time and, when she finally whispered his name and tightened her grip around him, he kissed her lips and joined her in that rebirth.

They remained like that for what felt like years, their bodies still connected and their hearts beating madly in the afterglow. Steinarius laid his head on the pillow beside Agda's, then he gently caressed her hair, kissed her lips, played with her curls - and when he saw a few tears in her eyes, he was quick to wipe them away.

"What's wrong, Agds?", he whispered, his voice full of warmth and love.

The girl shook her head and didn't say anything. After Steinarius kissed her cheek, however, she sighed and spoke.

"I'm thinking of what Wulfberth said about you", she whispered while looking her man in the eyes. "He said that you're a family guy - and in return, you said the two of us may have a child one day. What we just did... Well, maybe in nine months we may have a child indeed".

When Agda looked away from him, Steinarius slightly frowned. In Riverwood he used to pull away from her at the last moment in order to avoid undesired consequences; that night, however, the thought of doing something like that hadn't even crossed his mind.

"I'm sorry", the Imperial said, embarassement well evident in his voice. "You're right. I should have asked you rather than..."

"Stein, that is not the point", Agda broke him off. The girl looked slightly nervous. "It's just... I've just realized that I actually _hope_ we may have a child in nine months time. We've never really discussed this, but I know this is what I want. After seeing you with Marek the other night..."

When Agda trailed off and blushed, Steinarius smiled. He kissed her gently, then he moved beside her, so that he could pull her in his arms and allow her to rest her forehead against his without being crushed by his weight.

"So you suddenly want to become a mother", he said with a tender smile. "Well, I want to become a dad too. Maybe not in nine months time, but the idea is there. Actually, I've always dreamt of a big family - you, me, a couple of dogs and six or seven children running around".

Those words caused Agda's eyes to widen in surprise.

"There is no way 'six or seven children' will get out of my body, Imperial", she said, her voice jokingly serious. "I was thinking of one, maybe two".

This time it was Steinarius' turn to look shocked.

"Agds, but I want a big family! I was an only child and I know how sad it is to be alone all the time!"

The young mage sighed.

"Alright, we'll have two children", she concealed. "Not one less, not one more. And where will we live, Stein?"

Surprised by the amusement in Agda's eyes, Steinarius turned on his back and pulled her closer, so that she could rest with her head on his chest.

"I was thinking of Winterhold, actually. That's where you work".

Agda pulled a grimace.

"What about Whiterun? It is much warmer and sunnier".

"If we want 'warmer and sunnier', then we should move to Anvil".

The mention of her birthtown was enough to make Agda's eyes shine with happiness.

"Well, that would be really good. By the way, there is no way we're going to live in Winterhold: as soon as this whole dragon-madness is over, I'll resign from my job and follow you wherever you go. Maybe we could travel through Tamriel for some months, see the world before settling down and having a family. What do you think?"

Steinarius chuckled, but Agda could hear a tingle of sadness in his voice The man was silent for a moment, then he spoke. His tone was surprisingly stern.

"Agds, I love you and building a family with you is my biggest dream", the Dragonborn said while gently caressing her woman's back. "I want you to promise me something, though: whatever happens to me in the fight against Alduin, I want you to be happy. Shall I survive, we'll be happy together; but if I die, I don't want you to spend the rest of your life crying over my fate".

Upon hearing those words, Agda felt her blood turn to ice. She propped herself on her elbows and made to protest, but her man was quick to shush her.

"Agds, I know how it feels to lose the one you love - and I know how hard it is to put the pieces of your life back together. I don't want to die, but I'm not invincible - and if I must depart this world, I want to be sure that you'll be happy even without me".

"You can't ask me that", Agda replied, her voice suddenly trembling. She suddenly had tears in her eyes and Steinarius felt sorry for ruining their first night together after such a long time. "You cannot, Steinarius. After all I did for you..."

"Agds, I'm asking you because I can't be sure to defeat Alduin. Fighting him is scary enough as it is - and fighting him while knowing that your happiness depends on my victory is even scarier".

Agda shook her head at these words and Steinarius had to grab her by the wrists in order to prevent her from leaving their bed. When she began sobbing, he sat up and took her into his arms.

"Please, Agds. Does my happiness matter so little to you?"

The mage was silent for a long while. She was angry at Steinarius - angry because he had brought up that topic, angry because he had ruined that perfect night, angry because he had reminded her of the possibility of his death. But most of all, she was angry at the Divines for choosing her man as the only one who could save the world from the end.

"Agds, please", Steinarius whispered after a while. He sounded tired and, when she looked up at him, Agda noticed that his eyes were shiny with tears too. "Please".

At first Agda shook her head again. Then, however, she tried to put herself in the Dragonborn' shoes. She imagined facing Alduin in his stead, all while knowing that the happiness of the man she loved more than anything else in the world depended on her success; she imagined the fear, the nervousness, the anxiety at knowing that, had she perished, her lover would have probably been sentenced to a life of sadness and despair; she imagined reaching Sovngarde, all while knowing that she'd just left a broken man behind. That was enough for her to realize why Steinarius was asking her to make such a difficult promise.

There was a moment of silence during which Agda felt Steinarius nuzzle the top of her head; when a pained sigh escaped his lips, Agda realized she owed her lover that little promise.

"I... I promise you I will try to be happy, Stein", she whispered. "Whatever happens, I'll try to be happy. I can't promise you I will succeed, though".

Well aware of that, the Imperial nodded. Agda felt him cough a couple of times, then she felt his hands run up and down her spine. A moment later, he looked her in the eyes and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Thank you", Steinarius whispered. "Thank you. And now, please, let's not mention this anymore".

Agda was surprised at the rough pain in Steinarius' voice. Only then, for the first time in her life, she caught a glimpse of what being the Dragonborn looked like.

* * *

Steinarius cuddled her and lulled her in his arms for the rest of the night. At a certain point, Agda felt his arms tighten their grip around her and she felt him smile against her ears.

"If we have a son, I'd like to call him Thorygg", Steinarius said out of the blue. "Would that be okay to you?"

Confronted with that unexpected request, Agda frowned.

"If the rebels win the war, our little Thorygg will have quite a difficult life", she pointed out.

"Then we could have another son and call him Ulfric", Steinarius promptly replied. "In that way we would be even".

Shocked by that idea, Agda propped herself on an elbow and looked at Steinarius. When she realized that he was serious, she sighed ands gripped the bridge of her nose.

"Whatever happens in the future, I have promised you I will try to be happy, Stein; now it's your turn to make a vow: promise me that, whatever happens in the future, I will be the one to pick the names for our children".

Steinarius burst into laughter, then he enveloped Agda in his arms.

"Deal", he chuckled. "By the way, I think I know who will take all the decisions in our family - and that someone won't be me".

Agda chuckled at Steinarius' disappointed tone.

"Alright, honey: I will decide the names of our children, but I will also allow you to have a couple of dogs", she replied, amusement now evident in her voice. "Are you satisfied now?"

"Can I have a couple of goats too?"

Agda frowned.

"Why would you want a couple of goats?"

"Because they're fun", Steinarius shrugged. "Also, I love shouting them off mountain cliffs".

When Agda gave him a shocked look, the Dragonborn raised his hands in defeat.

"Fine, no goats and no mountain cliffs! Actually, I did that only once. May I have a bunny though? Everyone loves bunnies!"

Agda looked at her man and smiled. He was obviously trying to cheer her up after the difficult discussion from earlier - and that was one of the reasons she loved him so much.

When the girl rolled her eyes and said that yes, he could buy a bunny, Steinarius smiled - and when the mage fell asleep in his arms after murmuring something about how crazy Imperials could be, he smiled even more.

Agda's happiness was all that mattered to him - and now that she had made him that promise, he could face his future with much more confidence.


	65. Eye of the Dragon

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am to wish a Merry (belated) Christmas to all those of you who celebrate it; also, here I am to present you with my very personal Christmas gift to you all.**

 **First of all, let me thank all my readers, favouriters and followers: you are growing day after day and I'm extremely thankful for your support!**

 **The special mentions of the week go to Elspeth, MeanE and ShpperofTrashyShips. As for ShpperofTrashyShips, I thank you for underlining that you now have a new nickname and I apologize for not noticing it earlier. Forgetful writer is forgetful! Also, your new nickname had me curious about what kind of trashy ships you actually ship. Are Agda and Steinarius included in the list? XD Also, glad that you enjoyed Steinarius' passion for goats!**

 **As for MeanE, I must say that their review really had me laughing. I am evil indeed and I do not like happy endings, but I still haven't decided whether I'll be evil to Agda and Steinarius too. I've grown so fond of them and I really want them to be happy! In the meanwhile, however, I suggest you getting ready for the worst: one never knows - and luckily enough, boxes of tissues are not so expensive.**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ to Elspeth. You are one of my long-time reviewers and I really have to thank you for your support and for your appreciation!**

 **Back to my Christmas gift, here's a new instalment for you all. It is a bit short, but I absolutely wanted to post something today. Also, the next chapter of TAaTW will probably be out on Sunday, therefore stay tuned to find out more about Agda and Stein's adventure. Speaking of which, this is a filler instalment, but it is very important to get the story moving.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **1st of Sun's Height, 4E 203**

As he put on his boots, Steinarius gave Agda a loving look. They had arrived at High Hrothgar on the previous evening, at the end of a long and tiring day. The two of them had actually hoped to reach the monastery before sunset, but on the previous morning they had been too occupied with lust to set off at a decent hour. Steinarius and Agda had made love to each other in bed, in the bath and another couple of places - and by the time they left for the monastery, the sun had already reached its peak. During the following hours, Agda's complicated relationship with physical activity had forced them to proceed at a very slow pace - and had Steinarius not taken the girl in his arms, the journey up the Seven Thousand Steps would have taken them even longer. Eventually, however, the two lovers had arrived at the seat of the Greybeards and had been greeted by the local monks.

Upon reaching High Hrotgar, Agda had been shocked by its solid structure and legendary aura; yet, she'd been very disappointed by the way Arngeir and the others had treated her. The monks weren't used to having random female mages around them - and they'd made that known by giving Agda a long list of things she couldn't do in the monastery. Don't cast spells, don't sing, don't curse, don't get undressed in public places... Agda had felt rather offended by that respectless list, therefore Steinarius had decided to spend the evening with her in the tall meditation tower located in the courtyard of High Hrothgar. Once there, the Dragonborn had tried to keep his promise to Arngeir - the promise Steinarius had made during an awkward conversation about monks and dragons and sex -, but had miserably failed: on the previous night, with the moon shining in their eyes, the snow falling from the sky and the fire crackling beside them, Agda and the warrior had made passionate love to each other on the little terrace of the meditation tower. That place technically didn't belong to the monastery, but that awareness wasn't enough to cancel Steinarius' feelings of guilt. As he looked at Agda, however, the man realized he didn't regret anything he had done over the previous night, or week or year.

That morning the young Nord was particularly beautiful, Steinarius thought with a smile. She was still asleep, her hair covering her face and her hands clinging tight to the warm blankets. Her baggy nightgown had left her shoulder bare, whereas the furs didn't cover one of her legs - the same leg that until a few minutes earlier had been intertwined with Steinarius'.

Still smiling, the man leant towards his woman and gently brushed her hair away from her face. Her scars were very evident despite the darkness, but Steinarius didn't even notice them: after all that time, he had even forgotten they were there.

Sighing, the Dragonborn made to leave the room and visit Arngeir for their upcoming meeting. He was about to head for the Throat of the World and use the Scroll he had retrieved in Blackreach, a fact that made him very nervous. According to the monks, reading that ancient manufact on the Throat of the World was likely to draw Alduin's attention and cause the ancient dragon to fly there in order to face his opponent - and that was something Steinarius desperately wanted to avoid. Unfortunately, there was no other way to learn the infamous Dragonrend Shout but to read the Scroll on the tallest mountain of Skyrim, with Paarthurnax there to offer his guidance and wisdom.

As he thought about the old dragon, Steinarius couldn't help but look at Agda again. He hadn't revealed her the true identity of the Master of the Greybeards - after all, he wanted to save her from the shock he himself had experienced upon making that discovery; at the same time, however, the man couldn't help but feel unease at hiding that important detail from his beloved mage.

While Steinarius was still pondering about his feelings, Agda softly whimpered in her sleep. Confronted with that sound, the Dragonborn suddenly felt the need to go back to bed and caress her again.

"I'm doing this for us", he whispered as he gently stroked Agda's curls. "So that one day we can be happy together".

Still talking, the Dragonborn allowed his hands to travel along Agda's face and shoulders and sides until they finally came to rest on her belly. Steinarius had lost count of the times he and the young mage had made love to each other over the previous hours, but he hadn't forgotten their heartbreaking talk from two nights earlier. Considering that they hadn't taken any precautions, the Imperial found himself hoping that the young mage in front of his eyes would soon carry his child; at the same time, however, that possibility caused him to feel guilty and afraid. Leaving Agda behind in order to fight Alduin was bad enough as it was - leaving a _pregnant_ Agda behind, however, was a hundredth time worse.

Sighing at the thought, Steinarius gently ran his hands along Agda's bare leg. He kissed the girl on her forehead, then he kissed her gently on her bare knee. When he finally made to leave, the mage unexpectedly opened her eyes and whispered his name. The woman's voice was fleeble and confused, whereas her eyes were full of tiredness. Steinarius shushed her, then he walked back to her.

"Good morning", he softly whispered while brushing her forehead with her hand.

Agda replied with a tiny whimper, then she nuzzled her face against Steinarius' hand. The man immediately leant down towards her and kissed her languidly on the lips.

"Where are you going?", the girl asked when the Imperial finally pulled away from her. She had noticed that Steinarius was wearing the new steel armor Adrianne had smithed for him, a fact that immediately rang a bell in her head.

"You know where I'm going, Agds: I'm visiting Arngeir, then I'm going to the Throat of the World to meet the leader of the Greybeards and read the Elder Scroll with him".

"And why are you wearing your best armor?"

"There are many ice wraiths and frost trolls on the way", Steinarius lied. He knew that Alduin might decide to pay him a visit, but he didn't want Agda to worry about it. "The armor will help me defeat them".

Although the Imperial had used his most convincing tone, Agda frowned in suspicion. She made to say something, but Steinarius stopped her by kissing her lips once again.

"I need to go now", he whispered. "Arngeir is waiting for me and I'm already late. I'll talk to him over breakfast, then I'll leave for the Throat of the World. Go back to sleep, honey: by the time you wake up, I'll have already returned to this very same room".

Agda made to protest, but the tiredness in her eyes helped Steinarius understand that, for once, that stubborn woman would listen to him and fall asleep again in a matter of minutes. Confronted with her weary expression, the Imperial smiled; then, with one last sigh and a silent prayer, he set off to meet Paarthurnax.

* * *

Steinarius breathed in the fresh air of Skyrim. The Throat of the World was always the same - snow everywhere, dragon bones scattered around, freezing gusts of cold wind every once in a while -, but the Imperial felt deeply different from the last time he had visited that place. Back then he was still a puppet hanging from Delphine's strings; now instead Steinarius was free, as free as the dragons whose fire ran through his veins and as the eagles that dominated the skies of the land he loved more than any other place in Tamriel; but most of all, the Dragonborn was now happy and satisfied with his existence.

As predictble, most of that happiness depended on Agda. The former innkeeper was everything Steinarius had ever dreamed of: she was sweet and kind and fun and, to his eyes, she was the most beautiful woman of the world.

Even then, as he walked towards Paarthurnax's lair and prepared to greet the ancient dragon, Steinarius couldn't help but think of his desire to build a family with the wonderful mage he had left behind at the monastery. A few years earlier Vigdis had got pregnant before she and her man could even voice the desire to have children and now Steinarius wished the same would happen to Agda. Every step he took, the Imperial couldn't prevent himself from imagining a baby with his hooked nose and Agda's brown eyes - and that thought was enough to speed up his heartbeat and make a wild smile appear on his face. Unfortunately for Steinarius, with happiness came fear.

After Vigdis' escape, the Dragonborn had stopped worrying about death - quite on the contrary, he had become the boldest warrior of the Imperial Legion. He was always the first one to attack, always the first one to volunteer on dangerous quests, always the first one to risk his life in hopeless missions. Even after discovering that the fate of the world depended on him, Steinarius had never really worried about the dangers connected to his title because he thought that, all in all, there had to be a reason why the Divines had chosen him. Now, however, Steinarius Crepusculus found himself afraid for the first time in years. He wasn't scared of pain or dangers or sufferance - he was scared of dying and leaving a broken and desperate Agda behind.

There was a sudden flap of wings and Paarthurnax appeared in Steinarius' visual field, thus snapping the Imperial out of his thoughts. The ancient dragon carefully landed on a rock, then pointed his scaly mouth towards the human.

"You have found peace, dovahkiin", he said with his ancient and booming voice.

And as he heard those words and thought of Agda, Steinarius nodded. He had found peace in the deep eyes of that young mage and he was ready to kill Alduin in order to spend the rest of her life with her.

* * *

Her teeth clattering because of the low temperatures, Agda walked towards the meditation tower of High Hrotghar. Arngeir had greeted her with the usual coldness, therefore the girl had decided to eat her breakfast in the courtyard of the monastery. The mage felt as though the monk knew about the actions she and Steinarius had performed in that very same place no later than 12 hours earlier, so she didn't feel at ease around him; also, she didn't feel at ease knowing that her man had set off alone to meet the mysterious leader of the Greybeards.

As another gust of wind invested her, Agda muttered a curse under her breath. It was summer, but on the Throat of the World the temperatures were constantly cold. In an attempt to get some warmth, the girl found shelter at the bottom of the meditation tower and began crunching on a loaf of bread. Her hands were shaking because of the cold, but the young mage had no desire to eat in the halls of the monastery, under Arngeir's suspicious gaze.

Sighing, Agda thought once again of Steinarius. Had he been there with her, her man would have surely shared his body warmth with her; right then, however, his beloved Imperial was on the top of the Throat of the World, so close yet so far away from her. At least he was probably safe, Agda scoffed - and as soon as that thought took form in his mind, a dark shadow appeared on the horizon.

After travelling with the savior of Skyrim for what felt like a lifetime, Agda had become quite an expert at recognizing dragons. She still remembered the creature that had attacked Riverwood more than one year earlier, just like she remembered the beasts she'd met outside Labyrinthian, in Blackreach and on the road to Winterhold too. Yet, that wasn't enough to prepare her for what she saw in that moment. A huge dragon was approaching - a huge, dark dragon that immediately caused her to be overrun by fear and anxiety for her man.

Alduin had discovered that Steinarius now had the means to defeat him - and the ancient God of Destruction was determined to erase that arrogant human from the face of Nirn.

* * *

At first Agda couldn't believe what her brain was telling her: _Alduin is attacking us, go and find a shelter_.

Unfortunately, when Arngeir ran out of the monastery and shouted very similar words, the mage realized that the creature that was approaching High Hrotghar was Steinarius' sworn enemy indeed.

Upon making that discovery, Agda's first instinct was to grab her cloak, her bread and her terror and find shelter in the monastery, just like Arngeir was suggesting. Then, however, the worry for Steinarius defeated the fear for her own life - and that's why, without thinking twice, the young mage cast an invisibility spell and ran towards the path that led to the Throat of the World.

While running, Agda realized that Arngeir was screaming her name and telling her that she couldn't face the road that led to Paarthurnax without the proper training.

"Proper training my ass", the girl snorted under her breath. She was the best mage of Skyrim, she was brave, she was clever - but most of all, she was in love with the man Alduin had come to destroy. Driven by fear for his fate, Agda lost all property and politeness - and together with that, she also lost her traditional prudence.

The girl didn't realize her mistake until she opened the iron gate of High Hrotghar with a spell and ran past it as fast as she could. Only then did she notice how strong the wind in that area was.

For a moment, Agda felt the need to stop her desperate run and look for another way to reach her man. The path in front of her was narrow and covered in ice, whereas the gusts of wind were incredibly violent and prevented her from seeing where she was walking. Then, however, Agda heard the strangled roar of a dragon - and when she noticed that Alduin was flying towards the top of the mountain without bothering about the monastery, she immediately took her decision.

From his position near the monastery, a desperate Arngeir saw the young mage set off into the sea of fog and wind and snow in front of her eyes and immediately decided to use a Shout to approach her. By the time he got to Agda, however, it was already too late: the strong wind had caused a few rocks to fall from the side of the mountain - and as some of them collided with her head, Agda of Anvil lost consciousness and drifted into darkness.

* * *

"Balgruuf will never allow you to use Dragonsreach as a trap", Agda heard an old, tired voice say.

"I know, but it's my only chance to find Alduin. He is at his weakest now and I may not have another chance to defeat him".

"I wish you didn't have to do this, child", the old voice from earlier sighed. "Not now that you have finally found a reason to live. Apropos, I'd better get going: your mage will awaken soon. Tell her that she was lucky I was there to help her with her concussion and that I will not tolerate her presence in the courtyard anymore".

A chair rattled against the stone floor of the chamber, then Agda heard the sounds of footsteps fading in the distance.

Grimacing, the girl realized that she had a splitting headache and that she felt on the brink of throwing up. The girl had no clue as to why she was feeling so bad.

"You gave me quite a fright, you stubborn little mage", someone whispered at her side - and a moment later, when that very same someone slowly caressed her hair, Agda understood that she was reunited with Steinarius. The simple thought was enough for her to snap her eyes open and try to sit up.

As she found herself in a sitting position, Agda understood that she was in a makeshift bed in the most isolated room of High Hrotghar. Before she could notice anything else, however, the light of the nearby candles and her rapid movements caused her to feel particularly dizzy.

"Easy", Steinarius said, his voice serious and his hands ready to grab Agda by the shoulders. "You've got hurt quite badly".

As her man helped her lay down again, Agda noticed that his expression was very stern and tired. The Imperial also had a vast burning on his cheek, which had probably convinced him to shave what was left of the beard he had struggled so much to maintain over the previous weeks. As she noticed that, Agda immediately remembered about Alduin.

"You're alive", she said, relief well evident in her voice. The lights of the candles were worsening her nausea, but the girl wanted to keep her eyes open to study the expression of her companion. "I feared..."

"I'm alive, Agda", Steinarius sternly broke the girl off. "And you're alive too, even if tried hard to kill yourself".

Frowning, Agda brought her hand to her temples. As she did, she noticed the heavy bandage wrapped around her head and faintly remembered being hit by a rock while trying to reach the Top of the World.

"Stein, what... what happened?", she asked, confusion well evident in her voice.

Steinarius sighed, then he ran a hand across his face.

"You don't remember", the Imperial snorted. His eyes were slowly becoming golden, a fact that made Agda unease. "Of course you don't: you've been unconscious for the last two hours because you hit your head on a rock, all while trying to pull off some kind of silly heroic deed. Well, here's what happened, sweetheart: Alduin attacked me as soon as I read the Elder Scroll and I miracoulously managed to have the upper hand. My enemy fled from me, so I immediately made my way back to the monastery. And what did I find when I arrived? My beloved Agda, lying unconscious on a bed because she's too stubborn to listen to Arngeir's advice! Do you have any idea as to how scared I was when I returned to High Hrotghar without knowing whether Alduin had attacked the monastery or not? Do you have any idea as to how I felt when I discovered that everyone was fine, but you'd been injured in such a foolish way? Do you have any idea as to how I felt when I realized that I cannot really focus on Alduin as long as you're around, because you always end up distracting me? Damn it Agds, how can I fulfill my destiny when you're too busy trying to slip off a cliff and commit suicide while I'm fighting against my sworn enemy?! There's a reason if I left you behind this morning, and there's a reason if Arngeir told you not to take the path to the Throat of the World!"

When Steinarius stopped talking, Agda felt her eyes fill with tears. The Imperial sounded deeply hurt and angry and disappointed and, for once, Agda had to admit that he wasn't particularly wrong.

"You could have explained me where you were going", she whispered, her voice weak and fleeble. "You could have told me that Alduin was going to attack you, but I couldn't help you for some strange reason I don't know. Instead you just left and told me nothing".

"It's because I wanted to protect you, Agds".

Confronted with those words, the mage scoffed.

"You've been trying to protect me for years, Stein", she said. "I thought we were well past that, but you still think...".

"I simply think that you're the woman I love more than anything else in the world and that I'm the only one who can defeat Alduin", Steinarius broke the mage off. Rather than angry, the man now sounded tired and sad. "That's why I saw no reason in dragging you along to the Throat of the World. I would have got distracted while trying to protect you, and you might have got hurt trying to protect me - and should something happen to you because of Alduin, I..."

As Steinarius trailed off, he hid his face in his hands and sighed a couple of times.

"I'm a fool", he whispered after a long break. "You're in this state and I'm shouting and getting mad at you. I'm sorry Agds: it's just that sometimes I have the feeling you think you're the only one who knows what's better for the two of us. Sometimes, however, it would be nice if you listened to me and understood that my choices are driven by the desire to make you happy, not by some silly wish to prove that I'm better than you".

As Steinarius said those words, Agda realized that, for once, she had really acted in a dangerous and foolish way. As the first tears began to run down her cheeks, the girl couldn't prevent a sob to escape her mouth.

"Arngeir had told me that concussion can cause people to feel particularly sensitive", Steinarius sighed when he noticed that. "I'm sorry Agds, I really am".

Frowning, the man used a cloth to wipe the tears off Agda's face.

"Arngeir told me he doesn't keep healing potions here in the monastery", he whispered once the mage slightly calmed down. "I have a few vials in my knapsack, though. Would that help you?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius was quick to retrieve a few healing potions from his baggage. He helped the girl pour one of them, then he leant towards her until his forehead brushed against hers.

"Better?"

Agda nodded, then she raised a hand to caress the burning on the Imperial's cheeks. The man was quick to grab her wrist and place a series of kisses on each of her knuckles, thus causing the mage to smile at him.

"I'm so happy to see you're fine", Agda whispered. "Now that you've forced Alduin to escape, what's our next move?"

Steinarius was silent for a second, then he sighed.

"There's only one way to discover Alduin's hiding place: trapping one of his lieutenants and forcing him to reveal us that information. I can think of only place that can keep a dragon captive as long as we want, and that place is Dragonsreach".

When Agda frowned, Steinarius thought she was about to call him crazy. Instead, the mage slowly sat up on her bed and looked into his grey eyes.

"Fine", she said, determination well evident in her voice. "Let's go imprison a dragon".


	66. Of war and politics

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, with last chapter I wanted to wish a belated Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it; with this chapter instead I want to wish all of you a Marvellous New Year.**

 **First of all, let me thank each and everyone of you for your support. The special mentions of the day go to Valtieri, ShpperofTrashyShips, Elspeth, MeanE and Praetor Sylvor; As for Valtieri, don't worry if you're late with reading my story: the important thing to me is to know that you haven't given up on my writing and that you're enjoying what I publish. As Praetor Sylvor pointed out, I might have exaggerated with feelings in the last few chapters - yet, I think Agds and Stein deserved some peace before beginning to argue again about everything. Like MeanE underlined, the two of them still are the most stubborn people of Skyrim - and in this chapter this will cause another heated discussion. And yes, Elspeth is right: Stein can be rather silly in thinking that Agda will sit by and do nothing when a dragon comes to eat him...**

 **Speaking of the current instalment, I must say that it is rather short and that it is not so exciting; yet, it sets the premises for the next part of this story arc. Remember the long lists of "political chapters" I wrote after Agda defeated Ancano? Well, they will be rather useful to understand what happens in this instalment and in the next one...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **2nd of Sun's Height, 4E 202**

Whiterun suddenly felt like a different place, Agda thought as she anxiously climbed the steps that led to Dragonsreach. The young Nord had learned to consider that city as a place of peace and tranquility, but now that she was forced into her Archmage robes once again, the magic surrounding Steinarius' adoptive town had seemed to vanish.

Agda had first felt that change a few hours earlier, after she and Steinarius had got to Breezehome after their long journey back from the Greybeards. Although the Dragonborn had used a Shout to travel from High Hrotghar to Ivarstead, he and the mage had been forced to ride to Whiterun from there - and upon reaching their destination, they'd both felt nervous and tired.

As a consequence of her concussion, Agda had insisted on resting in Breezehome for a couple of hours. Since they had been travelling all night and the sun had just risen, the mage had expected her man to lay down next to her and cuddle her as usual; nonetheless, Steinarius had surprised her by claiming that he needed to fix his armor as soon as possible.

After the Imperial had left her alone in his house, Agda had slipped into an uncomfortable doze. The mage had been awoken a couple of hours later by the loud sound of drawers being repeatedly opened and closed.

 _I'm looking for my best clothes_ , Steinarius had told the mage when confronted with her questioning gaze. _I cannot visit the Jarl if I'm dressed like a beggar_.

Agda had frowned at that, then she had decided to accompany the Imperial to Dragonsreach. Steinarius had welcomed her decision with a smile, but he had also pointed out that she couldn't turn up in the palace without mentioning her title of Archmage of Winterhold. For that reason Agda was now wearing the baggy blue robes Faralda had sent her with a courier less than a week earlier. Also, the girl had tried to use a spell to make her eyes look brighter and her hair shinier.

As she approached the main hall of Dragonsreach, Agda frowned. That wooden building was extremely majestic and imposing and the mage couldn't help but feel intimidated by it. Sensing her fear, Steinarius squeezed her hand in encouragement. That morning the Imperial was truly stunning, Agda thought as she briefly locked eyes with him. The Dragonborn had managed to comb his usually tousled hair and was wearing elegant dark clothes. He had an expensive golden amulet around his neck and carried his best ebony sword by his side. That weapon was only for display, Agda knew that, but Steinarius had chosen it because he wanted to come across for what he actually was: a wealthy man, a deadly warrior and the newest appointed Thane of Whiterun.

 _Hopefully this combination of richness, martial talent and political power will help Balgruuf take the right decision_ , Agda thought as she took her first step inside Dragonsreach.

The interior of that legendary palace was very different from what the girl had imagined. It was tall and imposing, sure, but the wood gave it a certain feeling of warmth and familiarity. Also, the windows at the top of the building allowed the sun to cast its light all over the place. In comparison to the Palace of Kings in Windhelm, Dragonsreach looked much bigger and welcoming.

Agda was very surprised when the guards let Steinarius in without even asking him who he was - and she was even more surprised when her man confidently strode towards the throne of the local Jarl. She'd never considered Steinarius a politician; yet, she had to admit that the Imperial seemed born to roam the halls of powers without even flinching.

As the Dragonborn and her companion made to approach the local ruler, a Dark Elf suddenly grabbed Agda by the elbow and made to unsheath her sword. Surprised by that display of adversity, the mage stopped dead in her tracks; Steinarius, instead, was quick to intervene.

"Irileth, Agda is with me", he said, his voice calm and perfectly firm. "She's the Archmage of Winterhold. We would like to meet Balgruuf, as I told you earlier this morning".

The Dark Elf nodded and murmured an apology, then left to inform the Jarl of Steinarius' visit. As he noticed how shocked Agda still looked, Steinarius gently laid a hand of her forearm.

"Irileth is Balgruuf's huskarl", he explained her. "She's aggressive towards all the people she doesn't know".

Agda scoffed and made to reply, but she fell silent as soon as Irileth gestured for her and Steinarius to get closer to the throne. A man had just sat upon it and was looking at them with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

Jarl Balgruuf the Greater was a middle-aged man with an incredible charisma, a very fit physique and a mane of blonde hair that were slowly becoming grey; in his piercing blue eyes, Agda could see that he had suffered a lot during his life; nonetheless, that brave and proud man was ready to do everything he could to protect his land, his people, his family.

Much to Agda' surprise, the Jarl of Whiterun was very kind to her and Steinarius. The girl felt flattered when the Dragonborn introduced her as "a true daughter of Skyrim, the best healer of the land, the Archmage of Winterhold and, last but not least, my life companion" - and she was even more flattered when Balgruuf said that he'd heard a lot of good things about the new master of the only magical school of Skyrim. Unfortunately, the pride Agda felt at the two men's words faded as soon as Steinarius mentioned the reason for his visit.

"I have defeated Alduin on the Throat of the World, but my enemy escaped from me before I could strike the killing blow", he said, his eyes full of determination and his voice firm and stern. "For this reason I am bound to ask for your help, Jarl Balgruuf, in order to face Alduin again and rid the world of his threat".

There was a poignant break as Steinarius held Balgruuf's gaze for what felt like an eternity.

"What do you want me to do, Dragonborn?", the Jarl asked, a hint of skepticism hidden behind his roaring voice.

"Alduin is at his weakest now and I may not have another chance to defeat him", Steinarius replied. He looked perfectly calm and Agda couldn't help but think that in those critical moments the clumsy man she loved seemed to turn into an experienced warrior who was unable to feel terror or fear. "To defeat Alduin, however, I need to find his hiding place; and to find his hiding place, I need to question his lieutenant, an ancient dragon called Odahviing; to question Odahviing, however, I need to trap him somewhere. Unfortunately, in the whole of Skyrim there is only one place that was built with the purpose of holding a dragon captive - and that place is Dragonsreach, my Jarl".

There was a moment of astonished silence during which Agda feared that Balgruuf would throw Steinarius in jail for coming up with such a ridicolous idea; then, everyone started speaking. Proventus Avenicci cried that the Dragonborn was suggesting something impossible, Irileth underlined the risks for the people of Whiterun, Hrongar muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "you must be drunk". Balgruuf, however, remained perfectly silent for the whole time, his blue eyes fixed on Steinarius and his expression completely unreadable.

"I suppose there is no alternative, Dragonborn", he said once his advisors finally stopped talking.

Scared by the cold tone of the Jarl, Agda gave Steinarius a worried look. Her man, however, betrayed no hesitation or fear.

"I'm afraid there is not, my Lord", Steinarius said, his voice firm. "I wish there was, but there isn't - otherwise, I wouldn't be here. If I am to save the world, my Jarl, I'll need your help".

Frowning, Balgruuf turned his gaze to his advisors; then, his blue eyes unexpectedly returned to the Dragonborn's face.

"So be it", he sighed. "I will allow you to imprison Odahviing in my palace, Dragonborn. First, however, you must swear on everything you hold dear that you will do your best to keep the population safe; also, you must promise me something else: since I cannot allow you to use my palace as long as Whiterun is under threat of an attack, you will have to stipulate a peace treaty between the Stormcloaks and the Legion. If the two parties do not reach an agreement, you will have to find another place to imprison your dragon".

Confronted with those words, Agda felt the need to protest. The mage knew that her man was clever and honest and respected by both sides of the Civil War; yet, she couldn't imagine him and Ulfric Stormcloak sitting at the same table to discuss the possibility of a peace treaty.

"The Stormcloaks will never...", the girl began - and she was almost shocked when Steinarius abruptly grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to trail off.

"I accept your conditions, Jarl Balgruuf, and I promise you I will do my best to reach a peace treaty between the two sides of the Civil War", he solemnly swore. "In the meanwhile, I ask you to prepare your city for hosting a dragon".

* * *

When she woke up and noticed that her bed was still empty, Agda cursed.

After meeting Balgruuf, she and Steinarius had returned to Breezehome. The mage had wanted to tell her man off for making that absurd promise to the Jarl, but she hadn't had the time: uponapproaching his house, Steinarius had said he had some unspecified matters to discuss with the Battleborn family, then he had disappeared amidst the crowd of the marketplace. Alone with her rage, Agda had spent the rest of the day at Breezehome, waiting for her man to return and thinking about his absurd promise. The Stormcloaks and the Legion had been fighting each other for years; how could a former Imperial officier like Steinarius hope he could change things?

Tormented by that thought, Agda walked out of her bed and headed for the door. It was well past midnight and Steinarius still hadn't got home; annoyed by his behavior, the girl wished she could track him down and tell him what she thought of his promise to Balgruuf.

When Lydia asked her where she was going, Agda pretended she hadn't heard her and began roaming through the deserted streets of Whiterun. The city was stunning at that time of the night, but the mage was unable to appreciate its beauty.

Worried and angry, the girl walked through the narrow streets of the city for what felt like years; at last, when she caught a glimpse of a dark figure sitting on the benches near the Temple of Kynareth, she stopped in her tracks. Steinarius was on his own and looked tired and worried.

"I knew you would start looking for me", he said without turning to look at Agda. The Imperial was still wearing his clothes from that morning and sounded exhausted and depressed.

"This morning, rather than escaping like you did, you could have told me that you wanted some time alone, Stein", Agda bitterly replied. "I felt rather stupid, waiting for you in Breezehome all day".

Confronted with that remark, Steinarius sighed.

"I'm sorry Agds, but I needed to arrange quite a lot of things. I talked to the Battleborn family because I needed their help to organize a meeting with Jarl Elisif and General Tullius, then I talked to the Greymanes to arrange an encounter with Ulfric. Last but not least, I had to ask for a meeting with Kodlak Whiteman, the leader of the Companions".

"The Companions?", Agda asked, shock well evident in her voice.

Ignoring her surprise, Steinarius nodded.

"If I imprison a dragon in Whiterun, I'll have to make sure the city is well protected - and the Companions are the only ones who can help me keep the inhabitants safe. Unfortunately, it took me quite a lot to write a letter to their leader, as I still haven't got over my past problems with them".

When Steinarius sighed, Agda got a step closer to him and gently laid a hand on his elbow.

"I'm sorry you have to do this", she whispered.

Steinarius humorlessly chuckled, then he draped an arm around her waist.

"And I'm sorry you didn't get to tell me off this morning, Agds. I did notice your expression after I made that promise to Balgruuf - and I must admit it was one of the reasons why I was wasting my time here rather than going back to Breezehome".

Agda shook her head in disbelief: Steinarius really knew her better than anyone else.

"If you think these words will cause me to forgive you, Stein, you are..."

"Damn wrong, honey, I know", Steinarius smiled. "Yet, you can't blame for trying".

There was a moment of silence during which the Dragonborn pulled Agda closer.

"I am travelling to Solitude in three days time", he announced as he gently began stroking her hair. All of a sudden, the man's voice had become sad and tired. "And once there, Tullius and Elisif will ask me to resume my role in the Legion".

"That's not a problem", Agda shrugged. "You already have a dragon to defeat and a world to save, Stein; I don't think you should add the civil war to your list of worries".

"I know, Agds", the Imperial sighed. "Unfortunately, after Thorygg's death I swore I would do everything in my power to prevent Ulfric Stormcloak from taking the throne. Elisif knows about that promise and she will do her best to remind me of it".

"I thought Elisif was the weakest ruler in all of Skyrim. Are you afraid of her?"

There was a moment of silence, during which Steinarius heavily sighed.

"Agds, I'm not one to break promises. Elisif was Thorygg's wife, I was his best friend: if I don't fight to defend his memory, who..."

Those words suddenly caused Agda to free herself from Steinarius' arms. Was her man really planning to fight in the civil war after killing Alduin? If so, he was even crazier than she thought.

"If you don't fight to defend his memory, thousands of others will, just like thousands of others have done until now", the girl abruptly broke Steinarius off. On her face the Dragonborn could read disbelief, anger and worry. "Stein, this war has been tormenting this country for more than three years now. Do you really think you can change its course? Because I think that if you take part in the war, you will risk your life for nothing! And if you die in order to fulfill some crazy promise you made to a dead man, I will personally come to the Hunting Grounds and kick you in the nethers until the end of time! You don't even know if you will survive Alduin or not, yet you are already plotting your next epic battle. Why can't you just slay Alduin and be happy with it? Why do you have to pursue death every moment of your life? Why do I mean so little to you?"

That last question caused Steinarius to feel as though he'd just been stabbed.

"Agds, this is not about you", he said while trying to calm the young mage. "This is about the death of my best friend and my desire to avenge him. Your happiness isn't at stake, honey".

"Vigdis' happiness wasn't at stake either when you complained that you couldn't join the Legion because of her, was it? You've already lost one woman because of the civil war, Steinarius; do you want to lose me too?"

As soon as the words escaped her lips, Agda felt as though she'd just made a huge mistake. Mentioning Vigdis during an argument with Steinarius was a low blow, that much she knew; yet, implying that she could dump him just like the other woman had already done was a hundred time worse.

Just like Agda had predicted, her question caused Steinarius' eyes to become golden; yet, rather than turning into a werewolf and attacking her, the man surprised her by hiding his face in his hands.

"I shouldn't have brought it up", he said, his voice no louder than a whisper. "As you say, I don't even know whether I'll survive Alduin, so it is useless to make plans for the future. It wasn't useless a few nights ago, though, when we were talking about children and goats".

Much to her shock, this time it was Agda's turn to feel as though she'd just been stabbed. Nonetheless, the girl knew that Steinarius was trying to hurt her and had no intention of falling into his trap.

"You cannot compare the two things", she calmly murmured. A moment later, the girl sighed. "Is it so wrong of me to desire a quiet life with you, Stein? Is it so evil of me to desire a family with the man I love? Is it so wrong to wish my man didn't risk his life in the war after sacrificing so much to the safety of this country?"

There was a long moment of silence, then Steinarius shook his head.

"It is not wrong, Agda. Let's just forget about the war, shall we? As you say, I don't even know whether I'll survive Alduin. We'll think of our future once that horrible black lizard is dead".

Agda sighed. She knew that the argument related to the civil war had not been solved; yet, she was glad she and her man had enough maturity to agree about discussing that matter in another time.

"Speaking of promises... We still need to organize the peace treaty", Steinarius said when the silence between him and Agda became untolerable. "As I mentioned, I'm talking to Elisif and Tullius myself. As for Windhelm, instead, I think I will need your help".

Frowning, Agda gave her man a suspicious look.

"You are a Nord and you have already talked to Ulfric once", Steinarius said despite the murderous look on the face of the young mage. "I would be very glad if you could speak to him once again".

Scoffing, Agda immediately shook her head. Her first and only encounter with Ulfric had been a disaster and she had no wish to meet him again. There was something dangerous about that man - and as she thought of the kiss they'd exchanged on that weird night in Windhelm, Agda felt overwhelmed by embarrassement and disgust.

"No way", she stated, her voice firm and unmovable. "Ulfric almost tricked me into believing him once; I will not make that mistake again".

"Which is why you're the perfect person for talking to him", Steinarius surprisingly told Agda. The girl had the feeling her man had predicted her disdainful reply and had already thought of a way to get over her protests. "He tried his spell on you in the past, but you didn't fall into his trap. He respects you for that and I'm sure you will manage to knock some sense in that stubborn head of his. That's why this morning I made that promise to Balgruuf: because I know that I can count on you, Agds - and only with your help I will be able to keep my promise to the Jarl and to give Skyrim a well deserved break from this damned war".

For a moment, Agda felt the wish to start arguing once again with Steinarius. The man had taken her help for granted, but she really had no wish to meet Ulfric again.

"Stein, the last time I met Ulfric... it didn't go that well", she said, her face red from embarrassement. "Actually, it went so bad that I think Ulfric won't be happy to see me at all".

Agda wasn't surprised when she noticed the flicker of curiosity and suspicion in Steinarius' eyes. A moment later, when the man laid a hand on her cheek, she felt her face become even redder.

"Is there a reason why you're blushing?", the Imperial asked her, his voice soft and doubtful.

Agda shook her head, then sighed.

"No, there isn't - or maybe yes, there is. When I met Ulfric, he... We... We kissed, Stein. On the lips. Hard. And had the circumstances been different, we would have probably ended up in the same bed; luckily enough, I had just been tortured by Ancano and I still felt unease with my body and scars, so I refused Ulfric's advances and left Windhelm as fast as I could. In doing so, I might have used a spell on him or something similar".

There was a moment of silence and Agda felt the need to justify herself in front of Steinarius.

"I'm not telling you because I want you to get angry", she said without daring to look her man in the eyes. "I just wanted you to know, so that you can understand why I don't want to meet Ulfric. I didn't mean to imply that he's good-looking, or that I like him, or that..."

Much to Agda's shock, at that point Steinarius chuckled. A little, amused chuckle that caused the man's eyes to return to their usual grey color.

"Agds, we weren't together back then. You could have gone all the way with Ulfric and I would have no right to complain. You don't need to worry for the things you did while I was away".

Agda was shocked by her man's lighthearted tone.

"So you're not jealous?", she asked while raising an eyebrow.

"You can damn bet that I am jealous, Agds!", Steinarius chuckled. "Which is why I'd like you to travel to Windhelm with Lydia. Yet, I don't think Ulfric will try to touch you again. Actually, I think his respect for you might have doubled after you refused him".

"And what if you're wrong and he's still mad at me?"

Steinarius shook his head.

"Agds, Ulfric is a Nord at heart - and Nords are weird moody creatures who value braveness above everything else in the world. It took you quite a lot of courage to turn down Ulfric Stormcloak - and I'm sure his respect for you doubled after that small episode. If you don't feel like visiting Windhelm, however, don't worry: I'll go there myself".

As Steinarius spoke, Agda tried to imagine him in the Palace of Kings, alone in a crowd of rebels and haters of the Legion - and as she thought about her man's indelicacy at dealing with people, she immediately realized that he had no chance to talk Ulfric into signing a peace treaty with the Empire.

There was no other choice: if she wanted the Dragonborn to defeat Alduin, Agda needed to meet the leader of the Stormcloaks once again.


	67. Road to peace

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new update. December was a quiet month for me, so I've had enough time to write a few chapters for this story; as a consequence, I will upload once every weekend before resuming my usual update schedule at the end of the month.**

 **Before introducing the first chapter of 2018, let me thank Elspeth and ShpperofTrashyShips for their reviews. I'm glad someone loves the drama between Agda and Stein as much as I love writing it! Also, I'm excited about Agda's encounter with Ulfric too.**

 **As for the ties with the different chapters, this instalment and the next ones will be full of references to the meeting Agda and Stein had before venturing into Blackreach. Also, they will focus on the civil war. Stein wants to take part in it, whereas Agda obviously wants to keep him safe...** **Will our heroes find an agreement? We'll see in the next instalments. In the meanwhile, here they are talking to the most important politicians of Skyrim.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **9th of Sun's Height, 4E 203**

Steinarius strode along the wide roads of Solitude. It was almost midnight and a soft summer rain was falling; nonetheless, the man thought that the capital of Skyrim looked simply stunning.

Born in Kvatch, Steinarius had lived in Cyrodiil for the first seven years of his life. When his father had moved to Skyrim in order to control the Legion from Castle Dour, the only child of Aburius Crepusculus had been rather sad at the news; yet, upon reaching Solitude for the first time, Steinarius had immediately fallen in love with it. The Imperial loved the smell of nightshade along the streets, the lively feasts in the marketplace, the music coming from the Bards College at every time of the day; he loved the solemnity of the Hall of the Divines, the elegance of the Blue Palace, the feeling of freedom he experienced every time he climbed on the tall walls of the settlement and observed the eagles flying high in the sky; he loved riding to the harbor and spending his days with a fishing rod in his hands, he loved talking to the local farmers and helping them with their horses, he loved bathing in the cold waters of the Karth River during the summer - and for all those reasons, Steinarius had once wished to move to Solitude and build a family there. The thought of leaving her life with the Companions didn't make Vigdis happy, so the man had been quick to give up that dream; now that he had a different woman by his side, however, Steinarius hoped things would be different. Agda had spent most of her life in Cyrodiil, so she probably wasn't immune to the beauty of the most Imperial-looking city of Skyrim; also, the girl was likely to appreciate the comforts of Proudspire Manor more than the frugality of Breezehome.

As he thought of Agda, Steinarius sighed. He had reached Solitude that morning and had immediately headed towards the Blue Palace. Tullius had accepted to sign a peace treaty with the Stormcloaks without protests - after all, the Legion had just suffered a huge defeat near Markarth, so the General believed that the truce would be a good chance to improve the condition of his army. Despite that success, however, Steinarius didn't feel at ease. The defeats of the Legion meant that Ulfric Stormcloak wasn't going to treat Agda kindly - to his eyes her request of a peace treaty was likely to look like an Imperial attempt to change the course of the war. Steinarius knew it wasn't the case, but he also knew that he couldn't really blame Ulfric for thinking that. The rebels had just nailed an impressive string of flawless victories thanks to one of their latest recruits, a young Nord named "Eidan Stormblade". Steinarius couldn't help but smile at the irony of that name - and he couldn't help but believe that, with that new warrior among their ranks, the Stormcloaks really looked invincible.

 _This is not your problem, though,_ a voice suddenly whispered from the back of his mind. _You have made up your mind about the war, haven't you? Once we kill Alduin, we'll ask Agda to marry us, then we'll stop fighting once and for all. We do not deserve other sufferance - and Agda doesn't deserve it either._

While listening to that wise voice, Steinarius nodded to himself. Agda was right: he had already done enough for Skyrim - now it was time to leave the scene to other, younger warriors.

Sighing, the man climbed the steps that led to Proudspire Manor. He pushed open the door to the big house, then he smiled when he noticed the warmth and the smell of food coming from the main hall. Once there, however, the man had a surprise that caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

Steinarius didn't remember the last time he'd met Elisif the Fair. That morning the young Jarl had been at the Thalmor Embassy with most of her court, but the Dragonborn hadn't really cared about her absence. It was Tullius who commanded the Legion, not Elisif - and her absence had made it easier for Steinarius to answer Tullius' questions about his plans to resume his role in the army.

 _I don't think I will join the Legion again_ , the Dragonborn had honestly replied. _I have a wonderful woman by my side now, and she has already suffered enough because of this dragon-madness. Once I defeat Alduin, I'll give up fighting for a while, maybe forever. Agda deserves some peace - and so do I._

Much to Steinarius' surprise, Tullius had nodded and stated that he understood his choice.

 _Don't tell Elisif, though_ , he had suggested him. _She'll get angry if she finds out about your plans for the future_.

Given that the widow of his best friend was now in Proudspire Manor, however, Steinarius understood that someone had betrayed his secret to her. He and the young woman had once been good friends - and after Thorygg's death, Elisif had actually relied on Steinarius for getting over her grief. The Dragonborn had tried his best to help her, but Vigdis' own problems had prevented him from supporting the young Jarl of Solitude as much as he would have liked to. Despite that fact, Thorygg's widow still considered him a loyal advisor.

There was a reason why Elisif was called 'The Fair', Steinarius thought as he rapidly scanned her appearance. The Jarl of Solitude was a beautiful girl with green, doe-like eyes and a long mane of golden hair that were currently tied in a perfect brass. She was slim and tall, yet her body was feminine and had generous curves. Her complexion was pale, whereas her lips were as red as a rose. It was no wonder many men of the Legion fought in order to give that young girl some happiness - and it was no wonder Thorygg had fallen for her upon meeting her for the first time. As he looked at Elisif, Steinarius briefly remembered that day at court, when the young daughter of the Jarl of Morthal had brought along a couple of friends during one of her usual visits to Solitude. Elisif had been among them and her beauty had immediately gained everyone's attention. Thorygg had fallen in love with her on that very same day and had told Steinarius few, meaningful words.

 _That girl is the most beautiful creature who has ever set foot on Nirn_ , the young king had said with his soft and dreamy voice. _Her parents may be poor woodworkers, but I mean to marry her and make her my queen._

At first Steinarius hadn't believed the king. Thorygg was fond of legends and poetry and impossible love stories between rulers and peasants, so the Imperial had thought his friend to be kidding and had returned to the Companions without asking too many questions. A few weeks later, however, the news was on everyone's lips: Thorygg had decided to get married - and the lucky one was Elisif of Morthal. Steinarius still remembered complimenting his friend on his choice, admiring Elisif's beauty on the day of her wedding, standing as Thorygg's best man on that very same occasion; yet, those happy memories had been shadowed by the gruesome murder of the king.

"I wasn't expecting to see you, my Jarl", Steinarius cautiously said once he recovered from his surprise at meeting Elisif.

He solemnly bowed in front of the girl, then he noticed his huskarl, Jordis, eyeing them from the threshold of the nearby room. The woman seemed sorry for having allowed Elisif inside the building, but Steinarius was quick to calm her with a gesture.

"If you wish to join me, my huskarl Jordis will prepare us something to eat, my Jarl", he added when he noticed that Elisif seemed unwilling to move or talk. "It would be a pleasure to..."

"Oh, Steinarius, please stop it!"

There was a moment of astonished silence as the Dragonborn gave Elisif a baffled look. The young Jarl wasn't one to lose control like that.

"My Jarl, have I somehow..."

"Yes, you have!", Elisif broke the Imperial off. "You call me _my Jarl_ and pretend to act nice, but you don't care about me at all: you met Tullius even if I wasn't there and you also broke the promise you made to me right after my husband died. Oh, don't look so shocked: you know Rikke tells me everything Tullius does".

 _Here we go_ , Steinarius thought. At the same time the man made a mental note about Legate Rikke's habit of betraying secrets.

"Elisif, I did warn you about my visit to Solitude", the Imperial said while taking a chair and sitting down on it. If the Jarl preferred standing in front of him, so be it, Steinarius scoffed. He wasn't going to be told off by that girl without replying. "Yet, you went to visit the Thalmor Embassy anyway".

"I couldn't turn down Elenwen's invitation", the young woman protested. She was particularly beautiful, her cheeks pink with anger and her eyes as green as leaves. "You know it better than I do".

"I also know what people think of the alliance between the Thalmor and the Legion, so I deem it unwise for you to show so much obedience to their emissaries", Steinarius promptly replied.

"And what do you want me to do, Steinarius? Shall I refuse to meet the Thalmor because people don't like them? Shall I ignore our best allies because Ulfric fears them? Shall I..."

"Elisif, you know why people don't like the Thalmor. They did nothing to help Thorygg when Ulfric started to rally an army - quite on the contrary, they increased the amount of people they captured in Skyrim, almost as though they wanted to fuel the hatred between your husband and Talos worshippers. We all know what happened afterwards, just like we all know the horrors the Thalmor had brought about in this land. Maybe you have forgotten about it, but I wrote you a rather long letter about the heroic deeds of Elenwen's men in Winterhold. They killed the local Archmage, tortured a poor girl and..."

"You know very well that my hands are tied", Elisif broke Steinarius off. "And then, I haven't come here to talk about the Thalmor. I have come here to talk about the promise you made on my husband's grave. The promise to avenge him and help me win the throne for myself".

"Elisif, I never spoke about helping you get the throne for yourself", Steinarius quickly corrected the young woman. "I swore I would help Skyrim have a rightful ruler - and if you keep liaising with the Thalmor and allowing others to direct the war in your stead, I'm not sure you're fit for the throne".

Elisif scoffed.

"You complain that I'm a weak Jarl, but you're the first one who doesn't even care about my opinion. That's why you met Tullius even if I wasn't there, didn't you? Because you consider me useless and because you wanted to break the promise you made to my husband!"

Steinarius made to reply, but fell silent when he noticed the tears that had just appeared on Elisif's face. He hated it when people cried - and he hated it even more when they cried because of him.

"Elisif, I..."

"Don't call me Elisif!", the woman suddenly yelled. "I am your Jarl, not some peasant who..."

When she started sobbing, Elisif was forced to fall silent. Steinarius had never seen her so frail - at Thorygg's funeral she'd been quiet and composed, but now the young woman looked like a helpless child who had just lost her favourite toy.

 _She's only twenty_ , Steinarius thought in that moment. _She's only twenty and she's been a widow for more than three years - and ever since Thorygg died, she's had no chance to retrieve her happiness, as she was immediately forced to act as a Jarl. When I was twenty, I had no worries but my beast blood._

As he realized that the woman in front of his eyes had been forced to grow up too much, too quickly, Steinarius sighed and abandoned his chair. He approached Elisif and, when she made to push him away, he caught her by the wrists and pulled her in his arms. As soon as she found herself in his embrace, Elisif stopped fighting and began sobbing against his chest.

"I miss him", she murmured between her tears. "I miss him and I don't know how to get over his death. You know how kind and sweet and joyful Thorygg was, you know how much we loved each other, you know how much he adored music and poetry and peace; and now all is gone, and all because of a hateful warrior who was too selfish to let a young, sweet man rule in his stead! And you ask me to make peace with Ulfric! You, of all people! You swore..."

When Elisif trailed off because of her sobs, Steinarius shushed her again. He held her close to him, then he goofily stroked her hair. When the girl clung tighter to his shirt, the man blushed: he wasn't accustomed to dealing with beautiful widows who suddenly burst into tears against his chest.

"Elisif, the Legion may use the truce to increase its strength. This is why Tullius accepted to sign the peace treaty: because he knows what is better for his troops. As for my promise, I really wish I could keep it, but I can't. I have a woman in my life now and it wouldn't be fair to fight in the war after all she's suffered because of me. We want a family, Elisif, and I cannot have it as long as I'm a soldier. I'm sure Thorygg would understand".

Elisif murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "I don't", but Steinarius ignored her. He kept her in his arms, lulling her and shushing her for what felt like years; at last, the girl calmed down enough to stop crying. Her face was covered in ruined make-up and tears and Steinarius knew she couldn't return to the palace like that. In order to make her at ease, the man decided to offer Elisif a cup of hot cocoa. When the girl asked whether she could stay at his place, however, the Dragonborn stiffened.

"I'm not sure it would be appropriate", he sternly said.

When Elisif gave him a teary look and told him that everyone thought her asleep in her room at the Blue Palace, however, Steinarius was forced to change his mind.

"Fine", he sighed. "You will have to leave before sunrise, though. Also, you can take the guestroom to the other side of this hall".

Elisif thanked Steinarius for his hospitality, then she unexpectedly apologized.

"I'm sorry for treating you so poorly", she said. "I shouldn't have got mad at you. After all, Tullius should have asked for my advice before taking a decision about the truce"

When the Dragonborn sternly nodded, Elisif unexpectedly smiled.

"Your woman is a lucky one, Steinarius", she stated. "Hopefully one day I'll manage to move on too, like you did after Vigdis".

Steinarius was taken aback by the unexpected mention of Vigdis, but nonetheless nodded and thanked Elisif for her kind words.

Later that night, as he was reading a book by the fireplace and listening to Elisif's calm breathing in the other room, the Dragonborn sighed. Ulfric had robbed that poor woman of happiness and love - yet, he wasn't going to allow the civil war to do the same to him. He loved Agda and he had no wish to leave her in order to fight for an Empire he didn't respect anymore.

* * *

Ulfric's campsite was the largest temporary settlement Agda had ever seen.

Rather than receiving her in Windhelm, the leader of the rebels had chosen to welcome the young mage in that desolate place in the mid of the Pale. At first Agda had thought Ulfric just wanted to meet her without sacrificing too much time for moving from one place to another; when confronted with the size of his campsite, however, the mage realized that the man had probably wanted to put on an impressive display of power too.

"Maybe we should call reinforcements".

When Lydia spoke, Agda turnd to look at her. Steinarius' huskarl had been forced to accompany her to that meeting and had been silent for the first part of the journey; when Agda had tried to strike a friendly conversation with her, however, the usually broody warrior had immediately started telling her about her life, her choice to become an huskarl, her complicated relationship with Steinarius.

 _He says he wants to protect me_ , Lydia had scoffed on the previous evening, after she and Agda had got close enough to realize that they could find advice in each other. _Yet, that's now how things work between huskarls and their Thanes. I should be the one to protect him, not the other way around!_

Agda had chuckled at that, then she had talked to Lydia about all the times the Dragonborn had tried to defend her from her enemies - and when she underlined that most of the times he had miserably failed, Lydia couldn't help but produce a little, satisfied grin.

The mage and the huskarl had talked about Steinarius and his little, excruciating habits for most of the journey. They made fun of him for his attempts at growing a beard, for the way he mispronounced the names of many Nordic localities, for the way he ran his hands across his face whenever he was tired or sad or nervous. That morning, however, the two women felt no desire to joke. They were about to face Ulfric Stormcloak and that was enough to send shivers down their spines.

"I doubt reinforcements would help us", Agda replied. Lydia seemed very scared of Ulfric and was an open supporter of the Legion. "Actually, Ulfric may get angry if he sees that we have other warriors by our side".

Lydia pulled a disappointed face, whereas Agda finally found the courage to walk towards the entrance of the campsite. The sentinel immediately stopped her and asked her what she needed.

"They're with me", a man suddenly barked. "Ulfric told me to fetch them. They're those silly girls from the Legion, for that peace treaty they want us to sign".

Agda would have liked to underline that she was neutral to the war and that the idea of the peace treaty had nothing to do with the Legion, but fell silent as soon as she saw her interlocutor.

The warrior who had just spoken to her was incredibly tall. He had a gruff beard and a long mane of silverish hair. His blue eyes were pale, so pale that Agda at first wondered whether he was blind. He had a thick Nordic accent and a lot of war paint around his eyes. His complexion was as white as snow and created a stark contrast with the dark furs the man was wearing. The warrior carried a warhammer on his back and seemed extremely suspicious. In his blue eyes, however, Agda could read a few things he probably didn't want to give away.

First, the soldier seemed worried by the fact that Agda wasn't carrying any weapon.

 _He's probably afraid of mages_ , the girl realized. _This means that he probably comes from a family of Nord farmers who are likely stationed in the Reach or in other hidden parts of Skyrim, far from roads and bigger cities._

Second, Agda noticed that the warrior's eyes had a certain naivete to them - and when she realized that under all his war paint and furs and weapons the soldier was actually very lanky, Agda understood that he was probably much younger than her.

 _This boy has probably seen less than twenty winters_ , she thought to herself. At that point the mage felt ready to guess the warrior's identity.

"You must be Eidan Stormblade, right?", she asked, her voice firm and friendly. "I've heard a lot about you and I'm honored to meet such a brave and lethal warrior".

When the boy snorted, Agda realized that her guess had been correct.

"I hadn't expected a woman from the Legion to say that", the soldier scoffed, coldness evident in his voice.

Agda made to say something else, but she fell silent as soon as Ulfric's lieutenant, Galmar Stone-Fist, appeared into her visual field.

"Eidan, come with us", he told the young boy. "I want you to see Ulfric destroy those two leechers from the Legion".

Lydia made to protest, but Agda was quick to calm her. They were surrounded by people who despised them because of their alleged association with the Legion, so the mage deemed it unwise to show signs of irritation or anger.

Ulfric Stormcloak hadn't aged a day, Agda thought as she was introduced in the large tent where the leader of the rebels had decided to welcome her. The Jarl of Windhelm had a new scar across his face, but his expression was as proud as always, his physique as fit as always, his eyes as piercing as always. Agda felt slightly intimated when she met him and couldn't prevent her cheeks from becoming red in embarrassement. Although Ulfric had been the one to be rejected during their last meeting, the girl noticed that he seemed completely calm and tranquil.

"Agda of Anvil", he greeted the mage with his usual roaring voice. "Our paths cross again. Hopefully this time you will bring us good news".

There were some snorts from the officiers surrounding him, but Ulfric seemingly didn't mind. Gesturing like a true king, the man invited Agda to take a seat.

"I have been informed as to the reason of your visit", he said immediately afterwards. "And I want to tell you that I will not accept to sign a peace treaty - not now that my troops have had the upper hand in many a battle".

Agda didn't even flinch. She knew Ulfric had nothing to gain from a truce; yet, she wanted the man to understand that the civil war wasn't connected to the reason of her visit.

"My Jarl, I am not here to discuss the problems related to the civil war", she said, her voice firm despite the nervousness and uneasiness. "I am merely acting as an Ambassador on behalf of Steinarius Crepusculus, the Last Dragonborn".

"And the man who fucks you every time he wants to", a soldier Agda didn't know added with a smirk.

"Speaking of the Dragonborn, it was rather mean of him to send you here alone and unarmed, all while he's probably drinking wine with his friends in the Blue Palace", another man added. "Maybe you should take revenge on him, little girl. If you want, we can show you how Nords treat their women in bed. I'm sure that you'll change your mind about Crepusculus after spending the night with one of us".

Blushing, Agda tried to ignore the references about her sex life and the many little chuckles from the soldiers surrounding her. Lydia, however, couldn't listen to them without reacting.

"As huskarl to Steinarius Crepusculus, I will not tolerate those words!", she said while standing up all of a sudden. "Aren't you ashamed of yourselves? Agda of Anvil is trying to knock some sense in those empty heads of yours, but all you can do is shrug and say silly jokes about her sex life, all because she's young, beautiful and clever and you don't know how to relate to her! You should think with your brains rather than with your nethers! Also, you should show some more consideration towards the problems Skyrim is currently facing. Tullius was wise and generous enough to sign the peace treaty without complaints, you instead..."

When two soldiers stood up from their seats and started shouting a reply to Lydia's words, Agda sighed and took her head in her hands. She knew that turning up in Ulfric's campsite wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't expected things to go so badly so fast.

"Lydia, all armies of the world behave the same way when it comes to sex", she said in an attempt to calm her overzealant huskarl. "If they can make a childish joke, they will".

When Lydia turned around and began arguing with Agda, Ulfric Stormcloak decided to intervene.

"Enough!", he shouted - and as soon as he did, his men stopped talking all of a sudden. Agda was actually thankful for that: had Ulfric not spoken, the soldiers would have continued making fun of her for the rest of the meeting.

"You have my attention, Agda of Anvil", the leader of the rebels continued shortly afterwards. "Nonetheless, this does not mean that I will welcome your request. You say that you are not here on behalf of the Legion; yet, everyone knows that your man was with the army until last year - and everyone knows that you are here on his behalf. To me, that makes you a supporter of the Empire".

For one moment, Agda thought that she needed to keep her calm, smile politely and explain for the thousandth time that she wasn't a member of the Legion; then, however, she realized that she couldn't hide her anger any longer.

"You are right, Ulfric", Agda said, her eyes mortally cold and aggressive. "I am the woman of Steinarius Crepusculus and, like everyone knows, my man was a former officier of the Legion. I will not deny it: Steinarius Crepusculus _was_ with the Legion indeed; now, however, he is fighting on his own to in order to save the world. Not my world, not yours, not the Legion's: _our_ world. It doesn't matter if we are neutral to the war, if we root for the Legion or if we fight for your cause, Ulfric: we all live in the same world, so we should do our best to take care of it, to preserve it, to make it a better place for everyone. This is why I'm here: because if we want Alduin to be defeated, if we want life to triumph over death, if we want our world and everything we hold dear to survive this threat, then we need to stand on the same side and help the Dragonborn in his task. I wish there was another way, I wish I could keep my man safe while the Legion and the rebels keep on slaughtering each other, I wish I could just sit back and do nothing while others fight for my future too, but I know that it is not possible. Like it or not, Steinarius Crepusculus is the only one who can save us all - and as a living being who loves her world and who doesn't want it to end, I am doing my best to help him reach his goal, even if it involves coming here to be insulted and despised and ashamed.

" _Why have you come here if you knew you were going to be treated so poorly?,_ you may ask me at this point. The answer is simple: I have come here because, as human beings, I think we are all the same. Rebels or legionnaires, Nords or Imperials, Mer or Men... Does it really matter at the end of the day? Aren't we all driven by love, friendship and passion? Don't we all want to build a better world for ourselves and the people we hold dear? Well, let me tell you this: if Alduin destroys our world, then you will have fought in vain and all your dreams will never come true. All the time you and your men spent away from your families, all the people you held in your arms while they were dying, all the sacrifices you've made so far... It will all be for nothing as long as you do not realize that signing a peace treaty with the Legion is the only way to help Steinarius Crepusculus save our world - and without this world, Ulfric, your dreams of a better Skyrim will be nothing but a phantasy".

Agda was surprised by her loquacity, and so were all the other people inside the tent. The mage heard Eidan Stormblade murmur a little 'wow', she saw Galmar blink in confusion, she saw a man nod to himself in a corner. Then, at last, the girl watched Ulfric. In his blue eyes Agda could read a tiny sparkle of admiration.

"Fine", the leader of the rebels sighed once he recovered from the surprise. "After this speech, I think you can have me sign whatever treaty you want".


	68. Promises

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new update. First of all, however, let me reply to my lovely followers and reviewers.**

 **Just like Valtieri, I adore the final part of the main quest too and I'm completely in love with the whole "Season Unending" arch. Hopefully I'll do it justice in my story!** **As for Agda's absence from Winterhol, that will be the main theme of one of the next chapters - and everyone will be rather pissed off when she returns. Speaking of characters, you are absolutely right about Irileth - and the funny thing is that I didn't mean to describe her like a sort of pet!**

 **As for MeanE, I must say that** **I love your sense of humor and your remarks! Stein only has eyes for Agda, but Elisif is a true beauty and our little mage may become jealous soon... To ShpperOfTrashyShips' joy, more drama is ensured!**

 **Spaking of Agda, I'm glad Elspeth underlined her evolution. She's grown a lot since the beginning and even I have troubles linking her to the clumsy innkeeper from the first chapter! Also, I like giving backstories to my characters and to some Ocs, so it was good to know that they're appreciated.**

 **As far as this update is concerned, I must admit that t** **his chapter made its way onto my computer screen without me actually realizing it. I considered deleting it, but then I realized that this may actually be the last fluffy instalment in a long while - hence the decision to post it anyway.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **15th of Sun's Height, 4E 203**

When Agda and Lydia wearily dragged themselves towards the small inn of Ivarstead, the summer showers that had been tormenting Skyrim for more than a week still hadn't ceased. The two women found shelter in the wooden building and were immediately greeted by Steinarius' tired and worried expression. The Dragonborn had got to Ivarstead two days earlier in order to ask the Greybeards whether he could organize the peace talks for the upcoming truce in their seat; Agda and Lydia instead had got back from the Pale with some days of delay.

Dinner went by fast, as the two women were incredibly hungry. Neither of them talked and, when Agda announced she wanted to go to sleep, Steinarius was quick to bid Lydia goodbye and follow the mage into the small room he had booked for the two of them.

"My hut near the village isn't big enough for the three of us, so I decided to stay at the inn", he apologized when he noticed the disgusted expression on Agda's face. "I didn't expect this place to be so shabby".

As she quickly scanned the room, Agda sighed. She was tired and cold, she couldn't remember the last time she'd slept, she felt sick and feverish; also, she would be forced to spend the night in that little room without windows or cupboards or chairs.

"I've joined the two beds", Steinarius said when the mage' silence made him unease. "I thought you may want to sleep with me and..."

When Agda slumped down face first on one of the two beds, the Dragonborn was forced to trail off. Probably because of his Imperial upbringing, he couldn't stand it when people went to sleep in their dirty clothes - and Agda had just laid down without even taking off her wet cloak and her muddy boots.

"Agds!", the man cried out, disappointment well evident in his voice. He would have never expected Agda to collapse like that on a clean bed.

"Stein, this place hasn't been swept in more than an Era", the mage scoffed as soon as she guessed her man's thoughts. "I don't see why I should put on clean clothes to sleep among dirty sheets. Also, I don't have enough strength to get myself ready for the night. If you don't like what I've just done, go sleep with Lydia".

Steinarius was shocked by that unexpected reply. Frowning, the man sat down beside Agda, who was still laying on her stomach. At that point he gently squeezed her elbow.

"Agds, are you alright? You didn't say a word over dinner and now you've just told me I should sleep with Lydia. Are you perhaps..."

"I am what?", Agda said without even allowing her man to finish that sentence. "Tired, sleepy, cold and wet? You can damn well bet I am! Also, I am sick and feverish and angry and downright pissed!"

Surprised by that sudden outburst of rage, Steinarius let go of Agda's elbow.

"Honey, what happened?", he asked, his voice full of concern. "Have I somehow..."

"It's not you, it's Lydia", Agda eventually confessed with a huff. "The other day she set off an argument while we were in Ulfric's tent; also, she's been complaining about me for the whole journey back to Ivarstead".

Confronted with Agda's tone, Steinarius had to stifle a chuckle. He used his strength to turn the girl on her back, so that he could watch her expression, then he began to peel her wet cloak off her body.

"Why would Lydia complain about you?", the Dragonborn asked while performing that operation.

Agda freed her arms from the cloak, then she scoffed and shook her head.

"On our way back from the meeting in Ulfric's tent, we came across his infirmary", the mage explained. When Steinarius made to take off her muddy boots, she raised one leg after the other in order to help him with his task. "I heard a man scream, so I asked what was going on. I discovered that some butcher disguised as a healer was about to cut off the poor guy's leg even though he had run out of potions for numbing the pain. I couldn't just stand back and watch, Stein: I had to do something. Which is why I strode towards the injured man, insisted on visiting him and got mad at the butcher who wanted to cut his leg off".

Steinarius let Agda's boots fall to the ground with a loud _thud_.

"Was he wrong?", he said, his hands moving to untie the laces that kept Agda's mage robes together.

"Of course he was!", the girl cried in reply. "Well, I _did have_ to cut off the man's foot, but I managed to save the rest of his leg. Also, I used a numbing spell that allowed me to perform the operation without causing him too much pain; last but not least, I noticed that the poor guy had come up with Ataxia and did my best to cure him. Now he's fine, even though the loss of his foot has been a bad blow to him".

After Steinarius freed Agda from her mage robes, he got up from her bed and walked towards her knapsack. He took some spare clothes out of it, then he returned to bed and began to undo Agda's trousers.

"I don't see why Lydia would get angry at you for that", he calmly said as the mage raised her hips to allow him to take off her pants.

That remark caused Agda to scoff.

"After I helped that man, many more people asked me to take a look at their injuries", she said as Steinarius focused his attention on the few buttons of her undershirt and finally freed her from that garment too. "I worked without break for two days, then your huskarl forced me to leave. She told me off because she said that some of those soldiers had dangerous diseases, but I helped them anyway. I am a healer, for Talos' sake, what was I supposed to do?!"

Although he could relate to Lydia's worry and to Agda's rage, Steinarius had to chuckle.

"' _For Talos' sake'_ ", he teased his lover by quoting her words. "You have come up with a rare case of Stormcloxia, honey".

Agda snorted in reply. She was wearing only her small clothes now and, when Steinarius laid his hands on her hips and made to kiss the juncture between her neck and her jaw, she was quick to escape his grip and hiss in annoyance.

"I'm not done with complaining yet", she pouted at him. Her expression was stern and amusing at the same time, so that Steinarius had to fight hard to stifle a laughter.

"Complain away, honey", he told Agda after laying a playful kiss on her neck. "I'm all ears", he added, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

Agda gave him a slightly crossed look, then she resumed speaking.

"Lydia also got mad at me because we had to ride very fast to get here on time", she said with a very unhappy tone. "She said I lost too much time with the injured soldiers and that I put my life at stake by curing so many people at once. Also, she told me she's bound to protect me. Why does everyone in this stupid land want to protect me, Stein? Do I really look so weak? Do I have a message saying ' _Damsel in distress_ ' written on my back? Or is it because I never carry weapons?"

"Maybe it's just because you're so cute and pretty and adorable that everyone wants to keep you safe", Steinarius joked. He had missed Agda over the previous week, so he was overjoyed to be reunited with her. Also, the Dragonborn was having a hard time trying to control his lust. The girl was almost completely naked, so that the Imperial couldn't wait to make love to her. Agda, however, didn't share that desire.

"Stein, I am serious!", she said when she realized that her man wasn't really listening to her complaints. "It was a horrible journey for me. Lydia got mad at me because I didn't allow her to protect me from germs and diseases, I got mad at her because she wanted to protect me from germs and disease, and I got mad at Ulfric for having butchers acting as healers in his campsites!"

"Agda, it's useless to complain about it now", Steinarius smiled, his voice finally serious. The Imperial laid down next to the girl, then he propped himself on an elbow so that he could gently caress her cheek and watch her in the eyes. "You and Lydia simply need to make peace. Also, Lydia should apologize to you: you knew what you were doing back in Ulfric's campsite; otherwise, you would have fallen ill in a heartbeat".

There was a moment of silence during which Agda slightly blushed and distorted her gaze from her man.

"Agda, you are not ill, are you?", Steinarius asked her when he guessed the reason for her embarrassement.

Frowing, the mage blushed even further.

"I may be a bit feverish", she murmured. "Also, I feel sick and cold".

Confronted with the discovery, Steinarius shook his head. He had finally understood why Agda was so angry: not only had Lydia told her off - she'd also been right in doing so.

"Let's get you dressed and warm, shall we?", the man sighed after jokingly pinching Agda's nose. "My lil' healer is ill", he added as he stood up from the bed and went to retrieve some furs and potions from his knapsack. "And for once, I get to take care of her. I feared I'd never see the day".

Agda murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "you're lucky to be a werewolf", but Steinarius was too amused to listen to her. He wrapped her in some of his warmest clothes, then he tucked her in the best bear fur he had in his knapsack. As he performed those actions, the man realized that his lust could wait. Actually, right then he only wanted to lay down in Agda's bed and cuddle her like she deserved.

The girl whimpered when Steinarius took place in her bed and she muttered a complaint about the size of her mattress.

"I don't want you to sleep alone, Agds", the man said while arranging himself so that the mage could rest comfortably despite his presence. "Not when you're fuming with anger. You may set fire to the sheets".

Agda gave Steinarius a little, playful shove, then she shuddered because of the cold. The man was quick to gather her in his arms.

"You are in a very good mood", the girl commented after a few moments of silence. Steinarius was peppering her temples and nose and cheeks in light kisses that were about to make her go crazy, so she wanted to keep him occupied with words.

"I am in good mood indeed", the Imperial replied, his voice satisfied and low. "The Legion has agreed to meet the Stormcloaks to discuss the detail of a peace treaty, I have you in my arms and we have a few days to ourselves before organizing the truce. I guess that's enough to make a simple man like me happy"

When Agda scoffed, Steinarius thought she was tired of his good humor. Believing he might have overdone it, the Imperial stopped kissing her and gently tucked her hair behind her ears.

"I could ask Gwilin for a potion against diseases", he whispered when he noticed how warm Agda's forehead was. "He surely has one in his house".

Agda shook her head, then she clung to Steinarius' shirt.

"Don't", she whispered. "I don't want you to leave, not even for a moment".

The Dragonborn was moved by the way Agda hugged him after saying that, and he was even more moved when the girl spoke next.

"Actually, there are two more reasons why I'm angry, Stein", she admitted without raising her eyes. The mage was keeping a cheek against Steinarius' chest, whereas her arms were around his neck. "First, I have talked Ulfric into signing the peace treaty. Second, I have seen what war does to people".

As he waited for Agda to elaborate, Steinarius was perfectly silent.

"Deep in my heart, I wished Ulfric wouldn't sign the peace treaty", Agda admitted. "I wish he wouldn't because his refuse would have postponed your fight against Alduin and it would have granted me some more time with you. Actually, I hoped Ulfric wouldn't sign the peace treaty at all - in that way, you and I would have stayed side by side until the end of our world and we would have faced our destiny together. Now, instead, I just have to sit back and watch while you do all by yourself".

Steinarius made to speak, but Agda shushed him.

"I'm not done yet", she sternly said. "The other reason why I'm angry is that I can't understand why people take part in wars. At Ulfric's camp I've seen people without legs, or arms, or eyes; I've met people who were about to die, people who had lost their families, people who had witnessed the death of their friends and loved ones; also, I've seen people sitting by their dying companions, all while staring into the void and contemplating their future alone. After all of this, I really can't understand why anyone in their right mind would ever choose to go through that sufferance".

"Sometimes sufferance helps you improve", Steinarius whispered. He knew that Agda was not-so-subtly suggesting he was crazy for his ideas about the war. "Also, fighting for a right cause can make you feel useful".

"It can also make you die", Agda promptly replied. There was a long sigh on her part, then the mage pressed her face into Steinarius' chest. "Stein, I know we'd agreed not to mention this for a while, but I really need to talk about it: I don't want you to resume fighting for the Legion. If by some miracle Alduin dies and you survive, I swear I will lock you away in a cave so that you won't be able to..."

Confronted with Agda's panicked tone, Steinarius shushed her and gently kissed her forehead.

"I know, Agds", the man said when the girl trailed off. She was trembling now and the Dragonborn didn't know whether it was an effect of her fear or if the fever was getting worse. "Actually, you might have noticed that I didn't really talk about my meeting with Elisif in Solitude, and all because I did something I am really ashamed of. _I made Elisif cry_ ".

Surprised by those words, Agda craned her neck to look Steinarius in the eyes.

"You... what... but why?", she asked, disbelief and worry evident in her voice.

"I made Elisif cry because I told her about my plans for the future" the Dragonborn calmly replied. "I explained her that those plans involve the wonderful woman I have by my side in this bed right now, a couple of goats or dogs - we still need to make up our mind about it - and the pitter-patter of small feet running around our home. And nope, I didn't see any war or Empire or Legion involved in my future - even if, perhaps, I should say _our_ future".

There was a moment of astonished silence, then Agda spoke.

"Did you really tell her that?"

Steinarius chuckled.

"I might have not used those exact words, but the meaning was there. I have already suffered enough in my life and I think Thorygg will have to forgive me for breaking the promise I made on his grave. He treasured love above everything else, so I believe he'll understand. As for Elisif, I hope she'll find the same happiness I have found in you, Agds. You mean the world to me and there is no promise from my past that can prevent me from spending the rest of my life with you".

When Steinarius fell silent, Agda tightened her grip on him and got even closer, almost as though she wanted her body to merge with the Dragonborn's. She kissed the point where his neck met his torso, then she traced a path of little kisses down his chest. When she reached his heart, however, she stopped.

"Thank you", she whispered.

Chuckling, Steinarius tenderly kissed her forehead.

"Thank _you_ for making my days brighter", he smiled. "And now let's get some sleep: if Lydia notices you're feverish..."

Agda smiled at that, then she closed her eyes and sagged in Steinarius' arms. As he listened to her calm heartbeat, the man knew he had made the right choice: there was no way he could sacrifice the love of his life to a useless war that was bound to bring him only death and despair.


	69. Alone against the world

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the last chapter of the month. I take the chance to inform you that from now on my updates will go back to the usual "one new instalment every two weeks" schedule - unfortunately, that's what work does to people who cannot balance free time, working hours and writing.**

 **Before we begin, I want to thank Elspeth and ShipperofTrashyShps for their comments about chapter 68. January has been a busy month for everyone and this has caused the number of reviews I usually get to drop - either that, or my writing is getting worse chapter after chapter. Anyway, given the situation, your comments have been even more appreciated than usual :) I'm particularly glad you enjoyed the fluffiness and the cuteness of the previous chapter: it wasn't very exciting, but it was one of the "calm before the storm" instalments I love so much.**

 **Speaking of storms, in this update we have some very important changes taking place. I was really looking forward to posting it and I can't wait to know what you think of it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **29th of Sun's Height, 4E 203**

Steinarius nervously eyed the room and his occupants. He was in the meeting chamber of High Hrotghar, surrounded by people who didn't care about his fate and who hated each other more than anything else in the world. Also, to make things even worse, he was wearing the most elegant and uncomfortable robes he had in his wardrobe. The whole situation made him want to scream in panic and exasperation; luckily enough, a gentle touch on his hand was enough to make his uneasiness disappear.

"All will be well", Agda softly whispered - and as he locked eyes with her, Steinarius couldn't help but think of his luck in meeting such a wonderful woman.

That morning the Archmage of Winterhold was absolutely stunning. She had tied her hair in a pony-tail that underlined her elegant neck and features, then she had used some red war-paint on her already full lips. Her brown eyes were adorned by black make-up that created a stark contrast with her pale complexion and with the white lacey dress she was wearing. Around her neck the girl carried the star-shaped jewel Steinarius had bought for her in Whiterun, whereas on her wrist laid a little bracelet she had created starting from the golden enchanted pendant the Dragonborn had given her almost two years earlier.

As he looked at the smile on the lips of his lover, Steinarius remembered their discussions from the previous days. It had taken Ulfric and Tullius more than a fortnight to organize the journey to High Hrotghar and during that amount of time Agda had recovered from her flu. Even after that, however, convincing her to take part in that meeting had been more complicated than expected. The mage had claimed that she had no right in attending it, as she wasn't involved in politics; also, she wanted to keep her neutrality as the head of the only magic school of the country. Steinarius, however, had luckily managed to make her change her mind; as a consequence of his efforts, Agda had agreed to attend the meeting not as the Archmage of Winterhold, but as the most loyal advisor of the Last Dragonborn.

As he thought about that pompous title, Steinarius sighed with a mixture of nervousness and fear. He wanted the meeting to be over soon, but at the same time he didn't want it to begin. Torn by confusion, the man couldn't help but feel himself grow more and more anxious.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to lift my arms for the following couple of hours", he suddenly whispered to Agda. "Right now I feel as though the Divines were creating a new, improved version of Lake Ilinalta and Lake Horrich right under my armpits".

The Archmage scoffed at that confession, but she didn't have the time to reply: the Greybeards had just asked the occupants of the room to stop talking so that the discussions for the peace treaty could finally begin.

Sighing, Steinarius stood up from his seat and thanked each and everyone of the attendees for accepting his invitation to High Hrotghar. Now that the game was on, he had to forget about his nervousness and focus on the task at hand.

As he spoke, the Dragonborn noticed many familiar faces. Elisif was sitting between General Tullius and Legate Rikke and seemed intimated by the many people inside the room. She was wearing a stunning black dress adorned by golden and red embrodery and kept her eyes fixed on her hands. It didn't take much for Steinarius to realize that the dark clothes were a sign of mourning for the death of her husband, whereas the embarrassement came from Ulfric's presence at the other side of the table.

Unlike Elisif, the leader of the rebels seemed perfectly at ease in that situation. He was wearing elegant dark robes and had a heavy grey fur on his back. His greatsword had remained at the entrance of the monastery, just like the weapons of everyone else; yet, the cautious and dangerous light in his blue eyes let Steinarius understand that Ulfric didn't feel intimated at all.

 _I can use the Thu'um, just like you_ , those piercing eyes were seemingly warning him. _And I have already used it to kill Elisif's husband_.

Much to Steinarius' dismay, Ulfric wasn't the only one from his party to seem unmoved by the presence of King Thorygg's widow. The Jarl of Windhelm observed that shy girl with intensity and sterness, whereas Galmar often smirked at her. Eidan Stormblade, instead, watched her with a mixture of hatred and disgust.

Steinarius had heard a lot about Eidan and was very surprised by his appearance. The young Nord had a cold, hardened demeanor and, with his pale eyes and hair and complexion, he was a true son of the winters of Skyrim; yet, something in his lanky figure and in his swift movements betrayed him for what he actually was: a boy of seventeen who had been involved in matters that were much bigger than him and who felt unease in the presence of so many important politicians.

Just like Eidan, also Legate Rikke was tense, but she hid her nervousness well. Actually, Steinarius noticed her irritation at Ulfric's presence only because he knew her habits: after years of cooperation, the Dragonborn was well aware that every time the experienced Nord kept her fists and her jaw clenched for many minutes, it meant that she was having a hard time not unsheating her sword and launching herself against an enemy.

Not far from Rikke, Tullius looked calm and focused. The man was old and experienced and had dealt with similar meetings on many occasions; also, he knew that his intelligence and firmness were going to act as a barrier against Ulfric's demands.

Sitting between Tullius and Eidan Stormblade, Jarl Balgruuf was the most dignified member of the group. When he locked eyes with his blue him, Steinarius understood that, of all the people inside the room, the ruler of Whiterun was probably the only one who understood why that peace treaty was so necessary for the future of Skyrim.

There was a sudden cough and Arngeir, the leader of the Greybeards, appeared on the threshold. Steinarius hadn't even noticed he had left.

"You may excuse me, Dovahkiin", the old monk told him. "We have some other people who insist on taking part in this meeting".

Steinarius was shocked by those words, and he was even more shocked when he saw Elenwen and another couple of Thalmor appear behind Arngeir and apologize for the delay.

"No way", the Dragonborn blurted out, his voice full of anger and disgust. The Thalmor had tortured Agda, were the sworn enemies of Ulfric, had nothing to do with the future of Skyrim; how dared they show up at that meeting?

"Steinarius, Elenwen is here on my invitation", Tullius unexpectedly intervened. "You can't dictate who I bring to this council".

As Steinarius looked at his former commander, he felt completely at loss for words. Was Tullius trying to hijack that meeting by provoking Ulfric before the negotiations could even begin? Was he trying to make fun of Steinarius because he had chosen to leave the Legion once and for all? Or had he been forced to invite Elenwen by someone else?

While Steinarius was lost in those thoughts, the Stormcloaks were quick to jump on their feet and protest vehemently against Elenwen's presence.

"By Ysmir's beard, the nerve of those Imperial bastards!", Eidan Stormblade barked.

The words that left the boy's lips were enough to take everyone in the room by surprise. Eidan wasn't only good on the battlefield - he also looked very talented at insulting his opponents.

"To think that we would sit down with that Thalmor bitch!", Galmar added. "Either she walks or we do!"

"Bringing her here is a deliberate provocation", Ulfric commented. Steinarius hadn't missed the satisfied sparkle that had lit his blue eyes right after Eidan had insulted the Imperial delegation. "As Galmar said, either she goes, or we do".

"I can't be making concessions before negotiations even start!", Tullius rapidly replied. "It makes the Empire look weak!"

"It is a weak Empire indeed if you cannot negotiate a truce without supervision from the Thalmor!", Ulfric cried. "If I win this war, I swear I..."

As the two parties started screaming louder and louder, Steinarius was overrun by panic. He had worked hard to bring the Legion and the Stormcloaks to that table and now everything was about to blow up because of the Thalmor. Had that been the case, he would have never been able to organize another truce - and if he couldn't organize another truce, then...

"ENOUGH!", someone suddenly screamed. Steinarius was surprised when he saw that that loud yell had been produced by Agda. "Enough!", the mage repeated. "Th meeting has barely started, and you're already arguing! Aren't you ashamed? Maybe I should remind you why we're here: Alduin, the ancient God of Destruction, is set on destroying our world; luckily for humanity, Steinarius Crepusculus has been chosen by the Divines to stop him. To stop Alduin, however, Steinarius needs to organize a truce between the Legion and the Stormcloaks - and to organize this truce, he needs your help. Given the situation, can't you just stop arguing for a moment and do what has to be done to save our world from destruction? If Steinarius fulfills his destiny, we all gain!"

As soon as Agda stopped talking, Arngeir took the floor.

"The Archmage is right", he calmly said. "Rebels or Legionnares, we all have much to lose here".

The intervention of the old monk seemed to definitely calm down the attendees. This time, when Ulfric Stormcloak spoke, he sounded much more tranquil and respectful.

"You both are right", he solemnly stated. "Yet, I will not allow Elenwen to..."

"We have no wish of interfering in your civil war, Ulfric", the woman broke Ulfric off. It was the first time she spoke since entering the room. "The Thalmor merely want to observe the course of the negotiations and make sure that the agreements between us and the Empire won't be broken by your decisions".

As he heard those words, Steinarius realized what he needed to do to solve that situation. Agda and Arngeir had helped him calm the attendees, now it was his turn to let them know that he was the one in charge.

"You've just said something very interesting, Elenwen", the Dragonborn edged himself into the conversation. "Since the Thalmor have no intention of interfering in the civil war, they have no real decisional power in this meeting: they are only here to observe. Therefore, Elenwen, given that your role in this council is a marginal one and your presence is clearly angering the Stormcloaks, I deem it wise for you and your friends to abandon High Hrotghar immediately. You will be informed as to the details of the peace treaty by General Tullius, who is competent enough to make sure that the Empire won't break the agreements made with the Dominion ".

There was a moment of astonished silence as the people inside the room registered Steinarius' words. Elenwen had made a mistake by claiming that she didn't want to interfere in the war and the Dragonborn had been quick to take advantage from it. The woman's eyes were now full of hatred, whereas Elisif let out a little cry of protest. Eidan and Galmar grinned in victory, while Ulfric pulled a little, satisfied smile. Past his cold demeanor, Steinarius could tell that even Tullius was satisfied with his choice.

Unfortunately, the Dragonborn had rejoiced too early.

"From what you've just said, I take it that the people who attend this meeting are required to have decisional power over the future of Skyrim", Elenwen said with her most mellifluous tone. "Am I correct, Dragonborn?"

"They need to have decisional power, yes", Steinarius reluctantly replied. The Thalmor had addressed that question to him, a fact that made him unease. "Eidan, Galmar, Rikke and Tullius instead are here to help their leaders take delicate political decisions".

"What about Balgruuf and Arngeir then?"

Steinarius was surprised by that question, but he replied without hesitation.

"Balgruuf is here because this truce affects his city; as for Arngeir, he was so kind as to offer us a place in his monastery".

Elenwen pulled an evil grin.

"So we can say that the people who are here either have political power, or are affected by the decisions you are about to take in this room. Is it correct?"

Sensing a trap, Steinarius didn't reply.

"You don't have to worry, Dragonborn", Elenwen said as soon as she realized the reason for his silence. "I just need to explain my chieves why I wasn't allowed in this meeting".

Forced to reply to the previous question, Steinarius looked for advice in Agda's eyes. The mage seemed as hesitant as him, but when she scarcely nodded, the Dragonborn realized that he had no other way out of that situation.

"It is correct", he told Elenwen. "The people who are here either have political power, or are affected by the decisions we are about to take in this room".

The smile Elenwen produced in that moment was a perfect combination of happiness and evilness.

"Perfect", she purred. "Now tell me, Dragonborn: is the College of Winterhold affected by any of those decisions? And what political power does the Archmage of a magic school possess?"

Realizing what Elenwen was about to do, Steinarius felt his eyes become golden with rage. Trying to fight off his inner beast, the man gripped the edge of his seat so hard that his knuckles became white.

"Don't you dare involve Agda in this, otherwise...", he hissed.

"Are you perhaps threatening me, Crepusculus?", Elenwen said when she noticed the hatred in Steinarius' eyes. "I thought you to be neutral to the war, instead you are openly threatening the allies of the Legion just because Agda of Anvil..."

"Don't you dare address my woman by her name!", the Dragonborn replied with a yell. "After all your people have done to her, you should..."

"Alright, alright, we all know where this is going", Agda suddenly said while standing up from her seat. She made to retrieve all her quills and paper, then she laid her hands on Steinarius' shoulders. "I'm sorry for thinking I was welcomed here", she said, her cheeks red from faked embarrassement. "My man didn't want me to wait for him in Ivarstead, so he invited me over. None of you protested, so I thought it wasn't a problem. Now, however, I see the error in my ways: as the Dragonborn explained, the people who are here either are affected by the decisions you are about to take in this room or have political power over Skyrim. For this reason, Elenwen and I shall immediately take our leave, as the development of the civil war does not regard us in the slightest. I wish you a proficient discussion!"

By the time anyone could protest, Agda had already grabbed a very shocked Elenwen by the elbow and escorted her outside the room. When the mage closed the door behind her, Galmar Stone-Fist and Eidan Stormblade burst into an open laughter.

"She said that the war doesn't regard the Thalmor", the boy pointed out. Amusement and admiration well evident in his pale eyes.

"Crepusculus, I'll give you that: your woman has guts", Galmar added, his voice full of respect. "Too bad that she chose to be with an Imperial like you".

"Agda is a true daughter of Skyrim", Ulfric remarked in a whisper.

Steinarius vaguely noticed a little nod on Balgruuf's part and almost didn't listen when Tullius commented on Agda's behavior as well. The man simply felt as though he had just been robbed of the only support he had in that room - and for some reason, he believed that Agda's actions in the monastery would not pass unnoticed.

* * *

Agda looked around the deserted halls of High Hrotghar. After leaving the meeting room, the girl had made sure Elenwen left the monastery; she, on the other hand, had been invited to stay by Arngeir himself. In that moment the girl's respect for the old monk had increased vastly.

As she heard some shouts from the council room, Agda sighed. With her remarks about the College of Winterhold, Elenwen had forced Steinarius to take a difficult decision: he could have either ignored her complaints or taken them in consideration. In the first case, the man could have let Agda stay even though he had asked Elenwen to leave; unfortunately, in that way Steinarius would have betrayed the trust of the people who were about to listen to his opinion about delicate political matters in the belief that he was a just and impartial man. In the second case, however, Steinarius would have been forced to face the rest of that difficult meeting without his advisor, his lover, his rock.

As she had crossed eyes with her man, Agda had understood his inner turmoil. She had sensed his hesitation, his fear, his rage and she shad realized that his irises had become gold, that his face was a mask of disgust and dismay, that his heart and his brain were battling against each other in order to make the right choice - and in order to help his mind win over his feelings, Agda had volunteered to exit the room before Steinarius could even say 'ah'. Now, however, as she listened to the loud yells coming from the meeting room, the mage wished she could go back on her word and attend the rest of the council. Luckily enough, when she heard someone knock of the huge doors of High Hrotghar, the girl could finally forget about the peace talks.

One of the Greybeards went to summon Arngeir and, when the monk arrived in the hall, his colleagues proceeded to open the door. When she saw the new visitors, Agda deadpanned. Now there was no way she could go back to focusing on the peace talks again.

As she walked inside the ancient monastery, Delphine looked as fierce and arrogant as ever. She was clad in a Blade armor and on her face was a smug smile. Unlike her, the other members of the Blades looked rather unease.

"We are here to attend the peace talks", the Breton said before anyone else could recover from their shock. "As allies to the Last Dragonborn, we think we deserve it".

The woman's request was met by a snort.

"I have never met you before, but your arrogance and your armor betray your identity, Delphine", Arngeir said, his eyebrows furrowed in a stern expression. "And these people must be your followers and helpers".

"Erik, Faendal and J'zhargo are my warriors, yes", the Breton confirmed. "Esbern instead is the greatest dragon expert of Tamriel".

"I don't care who these men are", Arngeir replied in a surprisingly disrespectful manner. "I only know that you are not welcomed here - not after your plot to murder our Master".

As she remembered how upset Steinarius had looked after Delphine had ordered him to kill Paarthurnax, Agda could perfectly relate to Arngeir's rage. _Take that, Delphine_ \- something in her mind whispered at that moment.

"Welcomed or not, you cannot turn us away", Delphine replied. Her demeanor showed no signs of surprise. "The Dragonborn has got this far only because of us. We were the ones to train him, to guide him, to talk him into fighting rather than sitting back and watch the world end; we were the ones to lead him to Alduin's Wall and discover what he needed to do to defeat his enemy - and now we won't tolerate being sent away by a monk who doesn't care about the destiny of the world".

Agda had expected Arngeir to Shout Delphine off the threshold of the monastery, so she was deeply surprised when the man sighed.

"I will ask the Dragonborn what to do", he said, defeat evident in his voice. "After all, he knows what's best for himself".

To Agda's dismay, Delphine stopped Arngeir before he could go back to the meeting room.

"Tell Steinarius that only Esbern will attend the meeting. The boys are here for protecting us on the way home - and as for me, I need to talk to someone else".

As Delphine spoke, her eyes fell on Agda - and as they did, the girl felt a cold shiver run down their spine.

If her former employer wanted to speak to her, something big had probably happened.

* * *

The courtyard of High Hrotghar was even more silent than usual. All the monks were inside the monastery, therefore Delphine and Agda were the only ones walking outside. The mage felt deeply unease and wished she'd had enough sense to keep the small Elven dagger Alvon had smithed for her. Unlike her, Delphine seemed calm and serene.

"That path is impressively narrow", the Breton said while looking at the road that led to Paarthurnax's lair. "I suppose this is why Arngeir allowed me here without supervision - he knows that I can't get to his Master without the Dragonbor. Listen, Agda, do you know what Paarthurnax is?"

"As you said, he's the Master of the Greybeards", Agda snorted without looking the Breton in the eyes. "And as I understood from your hatred towards him and from the way Steinarius avoids my gaze when he speaks of him, Paarthurnax is probably the very same dragon who once acted as lieutenant to Alduin".

Delphine smiled at that reply. Agda had come a long way, but she was still the observant innkeeper she'd hired back in Riverwood.

"When I first met you, I didn't believe that one day I would be talking to you on the Throat of the World, Agda", the Breton admitted. "Life, however, can always surprise us. You are an amazing alchemist, a hardened survivor, a clever Archmage and a passionate lover to the Last Dragonborn - and I deem you wise enough to make the right choice".

Those last words caused Agda to raise her eyebrow in suspicion.

"There's no need to flatter me, Delphine - and now I would be glad if you got to the reason of your visit. The peace talks were just an excuse to meet me, weren't they?"

The Breton smirked at that question. Agda was the cleverest woman she knew indeed.

"You probably don't remember what we talked about during our last meeting", she said with a chuckle. "Before you tied me to a pillar and threatened to kill me, I mean".

"I remember you said a lot of rubbish about helping me grow. Also, you were willing to send Steinarius to find an Elder Scroll without any backup. Last but not least, you confessed that you'd stolen all the letters we had written to each other over the previous six months".

Delphine grinned, a fact that deeply unnerved Agda.

"My dear girl, you only remember what you _want_ to remember", the experienced warrior in a very patronizing tone. "The important pieces of information I gave you, instead, were forgotten as soon as Steinarius appeared on your threshold".

"I don't know what you're talking about", Agda muttered, her anger growing within her. "I only know that I wished I'd never see you again and that I really believed that I would never come across this smug face of yours for the rest of..."

"Agda, calm down and try to think about what I'm telling you", Delphine broke the girl off. Her tone was now serious and surprisingly worried. "When I met you the last time, I gave you a warning. About the Thalmor".

Frowning, Agda stopped walking and tried to remember that conversation. When the girl had told Delphine that sending her to Winterhold could have led to her death, the Breton had been quick to reply.

 _But you didn't get killed, Agda - on the contrary, you gained the respect of the Thalmor themselves. Had they thought you weak, they would have already avenged Ancano and their other men._

When Agda had asked for an explanation, Delphine had immediately complied.

 _The Thalmor will wait until you feel safe and secure, then they will hurt you with all their force. I thought you should be informed_ , she'd said - and when Agda had resumed criticizing her for her reckless behavior, Delphine had suddenly lost it.

 _I may be reckless, Agda, but I always had someone keep a close eye on you. You may not remember it, but I perfectly do._

As she recalled those words, Agda frowned. She'd finally realized the reason for Delphine's visit.

"You're here to warn me against the Thalmor", she said, her brows furrowed in concentration. "Your mysterious helper told you something about their plans for revenge".

Knowing that she finally had Agda's undivided attention to herself, Delphine nodded.

"Thanks Talos, you have a very good memory", she said with a half smile. Before Agda could get the evil reference hidden behind those words, Delphine resumed speaking. "After Ancano's death, I made many enquiries about his role in Skyrim - and thanks to my 'mysterious helper', as you call them, I discovered some of the letters he had sent to Elenwen. That woman is completely crazy, Agda: she thinks that Steinarius is too weak to defeat Alduin and she thinks that the only one who can save the world is an Altmer. She's found a promising girl back in the Sumerset Isles and she's training her to become a warrior. She's even plotting to teach her the Thu'um, as though that was something people could simply learn".

As she spoke, Delphine let out a snort. Agda understood that she was very worried by the Thalmor madness.

"I don't see why that should bother me", the mage nervously murmured.

"It should bother you, Agda, because the Dominion has always believed Steinarius to be a nuisance. Your man is strong and brave and respected by everyone; also, he's managed to organize a peace treaty between the Legion and the Stormcloaks without involving the Thalmor in the discussions, thus showing the whole of Tamriel that he doesn't care about their opinion. The Dominion can't have such a person save the world from the end - and now that they've found an 'Altmer Dragonborn', as they call it, they're finally ready to get rid of your man".

Agda felt her blood freeze in her veins.

"Are you implying..."

"You know exactly what I am implying. There is another important reason behind the Thalmor's desire to get rid of your man, Agda", Delphine continued when she realized that the mage seemed temporarily unable to speak. "They believe that, if a member of the Dominion saved the world in Steinarius' stead, the population of Tamriel would become meeker towards their attempts at conquering their lands. To have an Altmer kill Alduin in stead of Steinarius, however, the Dominion first needs to get rid of your friend".

Agda paled at the news.

"They surely cannot..."

"They can, Agda, and they will", Delphine broke her off. "Actually, I'm afraid that your decision to kick Elenwen out of the peace talks has increased that maniac's hatred towards your man. When I met her along the Seven Thousand-Steps, she didn't seem happy at all".

Shocked by that remark, Agda felt as though she was about to faint.

"What have I done", she whispered, desmay well evident in her voice.

"There is still a chance to change things, Agda", Delphine unexpectedly reassured her. "You must talk to Steinarius about this threat and ask him to be careful. Also, you should talk him into accepting protection from the Blades. Faendal, J'zhargo and Erik are excellent warriors, whereas Esbern is very good at smelling danger. It won't be for long, Agda: once Alduin lies dead, the Thalmor will have no reason to kill Steinarius. We just need to keep your man safe until then".

The young mage remained silent for what felt like a lifetime. Her mind was overrun by disbelief and worry and rage, by memories of her past and fear for her future.

As she tried to reflect upon Delphine's warning, the girl suddenly remembered what Ancano had shouted to Steinarius on the day of his death:

 _I should probably go to Elenwen and tell her that she's right: a weak man like you has no chance to save the world, Crepusculus. Hopefully we'll soon find an Altmer who can take on your role as the Last Dragonborn, so that Alduin will be defeated and Skyrim will be at our feet once again. On a side note, that will also mean that we won't need you anymore, Crepusculus, and that we'll finally be able to wipe off you and your family from the face of Nirn._

As those words replayed in her mind for what felt like years, Agda shook her head. Delphine's warning was serious; yet, she had no desire to let the life of her man in the Breton's hands.

"I believe you", she eventually said. "Nonetheless, I won't let you or your men near Steinarius".

Confused by that decision, Delphine frowned.

"They are excellent warriors, Agda - much better than..."

"I don't doubt their value, Delphine", the mage broke her former employer off. "Yet, I doubt your reasons for helping me".

For once in her life, the leader of the Blades seemed was left completely speechless.

"Agda, I live in this world too", she said when she recovered from her surprise. "And if Steinarius..."

"There has to be another reason", Agda commented. "And as long as I don't find out about it, I will not accept your help".

"Agda, please, try to be sensitive". For the first time since she'd met her, Delphine was openly begging Agda. "I care about you and Steinarius and I don't want..."

"You want him to kill Paarthurnax, don't you?", Agda said when the truth dawned on her. "This is why you came here here: because in your best dreams, Steinarius walks out of the meeting room, I talk to him and he decides to kill Paarthurnax in exchange of your protection and support. I'm right, aren't I?"

When Delphine didn't reply, Agda let out a humorless chuckle.

"You're always the same", she snorted, disgust evident in her voice. "Always plotting, always scheming, always toying with people so that they can do what you want; this time, however, I will not fall for it. Actually, neither of us will: nor I, nor my man".

"Agda, this time is different", Delphine replied. Her voice was almost desperate with worry. "Steinarius really is in danger and if he dies..."

"He won't die", Agda broke her former friend off. "Not as long as I protect him. And now, please, fetch your warriors and your plans and go back to Karth".

Delphine made to say something, but Agda was faster: she cast an invisibility spell, then she transported herself to the top of the meditation tower of High Hrotghar. She was thankful to the Breton for the warning, but she wasn't ready to do as she pleased. No, Agda decided: I will keep Steinarius safe without involving anyone else. After all, she thought, in all her life she'd always been alone against the world.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Steinarius finally bid the attendees of the peace council goodbye and went to meet Agda in their room at High Hrotghar. The man looked tired, but he also seemed much more relieved in comparison to that morning.

"It's done", he sighed before slumping down on the bed Arngeir had provided him inside the monastery. "It's finally done".

As her man spoke, Agda got up from her chair and approached him. The Dragonborn had dark circles under his grey eyes and many worried wrinkles at the corner of his mouth.

"Was it that horrible?", the mage asked as she sat down beside him. Her voice was soft and her hands soon came to massage Steinarius' chest. That morning the Dragonborn had chosen to wear black, velvet robes with silver embellishments that helped him look incredibly elegant and handsome despite his tiredness.

"You have no idea", the man said in reply to Agda'squestion. "Ulfric thought I was plotting against him for the whole time, whereas Elisif burst into tears at least a dozen of times. Also, when Esbern showed up, I felt the wish to leave the room and retreat to the Throat of the World with Paarthurnax. Those Blades and their arrogance!"

Agda tried to calm Steinarius by caressing his cheeks, but the man sighed and kept on complaining.

"I hated everything in that meeting. The way Tullius and Ulfric argued every two seconds, the fact that I didn't eat for the whole day, the coldness of that damned Stormcloak brat who kept looking at me as though I was a two-headed monster... Not to mention that Elenwen showed up without invitation. Gods, how I hate her".

Smiling softly, Agda began to massage Steinarius' shoulder. When the man closed his eyes, she thought whether she should tell him about Delphine's warning or not.

"Do you think we will have problems for what happened with the Thalmor?", the man asked without even opening his eyes.

Agda felt as though Steinarius had just read her mind and was forced to take a quick decision. By telling her man that Elenwen meant to kill him, the mage would have probably got him angry and worried - and considering that Steinarius was still worn out as an effect of the peace talks, the mage decided to spare him the news for another couple of days.

"Nothing will happen, love", she told him as she continued to caress him. "They won't dare touch you".

Steinarius nodded without convinction, then he sighed.

"It was really horrible, Agds", he repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. Agda had never seen him so depressed. "Tullius and Ulfric asked me to choose what cities should go to the Empire and what cities should go to the Stormcloaks. How can one decide the fate of so many people while sitting at a table? ' _Yes, I like Lake Horrich: keep the Rift to yourself, Tullius. What, Markarth? Naah, the place is a mess: Ulfric, you can have it in exchange of Falkreath_ '. That was what the whole meeting was about: trading cities and fates and lives a though they were nothing but pawns in a child game. If I think of all the people who died on the battlefields to protect Riften, or Markarth or Falkreath against their adversaries in the war, I..."

When Steinarius trailed off, Agda realized that his face was a mask of rage and uneasiness and irritation. A moment later, when he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, she also noticed that he was truly worn out. No, the young Nord thought to herself: her man definitely deserved some peace - and for that reason she decided to avoid mentioning Delphine's warning at least for another couple of days.

"Stein, let's forget about politics for a while, shall we?", she said instead, her worries hidden behind an affectionate smile. "After all, you shouldn't go to bed while you're dressed; at least, that's what an Imperial friend of mine always says".

Steinarius scoffed and made to reply, but had to stop when as Agda leant towards him and placed a long kiss on his lips. When he realized that the mage wanted him to stop talking about the peace talks, the man finally relaxed and closed his eyes. Confronted with his finally calm expressio, Agda laid down next to him and started massagging his scalp. The Dragonborn let out a few soft moans which caused the girl to smile at him. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, however, the young Nord realized that her partner was still very nervous.

"Arngeir told me that you and Delphine..."

Before Steinarius could finish that sentence, Agda broke him off with another long, sweet kiss on the lips.

"Let's not talk about that Hargraven", she whispered, her eyes locked with Steinarius'. "Let's just have some rest, shall we?"

Steinarius seemed hesitant for an instant, but forgot about Delphine and the Blades as soon as Agda began unbuttoning his robes and resumed massaging his shoulders, his chest, his hair. Despite the man's tiredness, they made love to each other slowly, tenderly, with all the calm and the sweetness of the world - and when Steinarius fell asleep shortly afterwards, Agda kept on caressing his blonde hair for what felt like years.

Later that night, tha mage looked at the peaceful expression of her partner and allowed his calm breathing to accompany her tormented thoughts. Eventually, when the Dragonborn whispered her name in his sleep, the Archmage of Winterhold made up her mind: she would protect her man without telling him about the threat to his life - after all, Steinarius already had enough to worry about as it was. Agda had already defeated the Thalmor once and she felt no fear at the thought of facing them again.

If Elenwen wanted to challenge her, the Archmage of Winterhold was ready to show her the proverbial strength of the Nords.


	70. Black globes and revelations

**Author's Note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new chapter for you all. I was really excited about it, so I couldn't wait to post it - hence the unusual Friday night post.**

 **Before I begin, I thank all of you for your support. As for Valtieri's reviews, I'm glad you pointed out Agda's neutrality in chapter 68. Some people believe I'm an Imperial supporter, but the funny thing is that in my playthroughs I always end up siding with Ulfric - and I'm afraid that sometimes this habit of mine shows in my writing. As for your comment about magic vs brute strength, I agree with you: the Companions seem to dislike mages, just like many other people in Skyrim; yet, Nords aren't that picky when it comes to using enchanted weapons or potions. A bit contradictory, isn't it?**

 **As for chapter 69, I have to say that I adore Season Unending too; yet, like Valtieri pointed out, I found it weird to have the Thalmor just sit back and relax when the Blades make their grand entrance - and the same goes for the Greybeards. It was actually difficult to explain those dynamics in this fic and I hope I did a decent job at it.**

 **I also thank ShipperofTrashyShps for their lovely review about the previous instalment. Agda is brave, sure, but this time she's put herself into a huge trouble - and the Thalmor, like Elspeth guessed, are going to play a big role in the future of the story. Hopefully the parts regarding them won't sand too far-fetched.**

 **Speaking of Elspeth, I thank you for your remark about January being a busy month for everyone. I actually had a lot of time for writing in December and posted many things in the following month - maybe I should have planned my schedule more carefully ahah. The important thing, however, is that you're still willing to keep up with this story!**

 **Last but not least, a huge thank you to MeanE: your reviews crack me up every time! Don't worry though: I'll try and make sure you won't use the tissues and stop banging your head against the wall!**

 **This new chapter is a very important one as it helps Agda understand many things about her nightmares, her love life and her job.**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think of it!**

* * *

 **14th of Last Seed, 4E 203**

"I cannot do it".

Exasperated by the fear in Steinarius' voice, Agda rolled her eyes and gave him a baffled look.

"Stein, you can't be serious!", she cried. Taken aback by her display of irritation, some people in the marketplace turned to look at her. "You just need to get inside the _Bannered Mare_ and have a polite talk with the leader of the Companions. What's so difficult about it? Kodlak has already agreed to meet you, I don't see what could go wrong!"

Confronted with Agda's harsh tone, Steinarius shook his head. No matter how much that girl loved him - there were things from his past that she seemed unable to understand.

"I don't see why you can't come with me", he muttered, one of the reasons for his hesitation finally soaking through his usually calm façade. "You will take care of the safety of Whiterun together with the Companions, so I believe you should..."

"Stein, this is not only about the safety of Whiterun", Agda broke the Imperial off. "It is also about your past - _especially_ about your past. And I don't want to be there when Kodlak asks you what happened to you after Vigdis' accident".

Steinarius lowered his gaze and, fearing she might have been too hard on him, Agda was quick to lay a hand on his cheek.

"Stein, I..."

"Okay, I've got that", the man stopped her with a sigh. "Just don't get angry at me if I end up Shouting one of my former colleagues out of the inn".

Agda made to tell Steinarius that she was sure he could keep his anger in check, but the Imperial had already left her in order to venture into the _Bannered Mare_.

As she looked at her man, the mage sighed. She still hadn't told him about the danger looming over his life, but she had done her best to keep him safe: she'd ordered Lydia to keep Steinarius under control when she wasn't around, she'd asked the stablemaster to accompany him whenever he wanted to take a ride in the wilds, she'd even paid some city guards in order to receive information about the strangers who visited Whiterun. Steinarius believed that those measures had been taken by Jarl Balgruuf, not by Agda - and the mage did everything she could to make him think he was right. Actually, even the meeting with Kodlak was an excuse to keep Steinarius safe: while the Imperial was busy with the leader of the Companions, Agda had organized a secret encounter with Farkas and Vilkas in order to ask them to protect her man while she was away.

As she walked towards Jorrvaskr, the mage sighed. She knew she'd been neglecting her role as the Archmage of Winterhold and she knew that she'd been a fool at ignoring the worrying letters Faralda had sent her over the previous weeks. Now that magic anomalies were troubling the outskirts of her city, however, the young Nord had no choice but to leave the comforts of Whiterun to face that threat. Steinarius had volunteered to go with her, but Agda had been quick to stop him: she felt better knowing that he was in Breezehome, surrounded and protected by people she trusted; also, she wanted him to imprison Odahviing as soon as possible, so that that the whole dragon madness could be over before long.

Lost in those thoughts, Agda finally reached the back entrance to Jorrvaskr. Farkas and Vilkas were there, waiting for her in a corner of the training yard.

"I'd never expected to meet you again", the smaller of the twins told her as a greeting. "And I'd never expected you to be the Archmage of Winterhold and new companion of Steinarius Crepusculus".

Confronted with the cold gaze of that lethal warrior, Agda had to fight hard to keep her composure.

"When I met you in that inn in Dawnstar, I was just a simple mage", she explained. "By the way, I'm glad you know about my titles, because they're the reason why I'm here. If Steinarius is to imprison a dragon in this city, the College and the Companions will need to cooperate in order to keep the population safe; also, I would like you to keep an eye on my man while I'm not around".

"We're not nannies, woman", Vilkas said, his eyes turning slightly golden. Beside him, Farkas nodded.

"I know", Agda was quick to correct herself. "But I also know that you are the best warriors of the land and that you were once friends to my man. This is why I would be very glad if you helped him with his task as the Last Dragonborn. Right now Steinarius is talking to Kodlak, so I'm asking you something your leader already knows about. You just need to help the Dragonborn protect Whiterun; also, I'm asking you to help me protect him. If something should happen to him, all of us would be doomed".

Surprised by those words, Vilkas frowned.

"It sounds as though you were sure something will happen to him".

"Blame it on my paranoia", the girl managed to reply. Vilkas was too observant for his own sake. "I know how it feels to be harmed when you least expect it and I'm sure many people would do everything to hurt my man, especially now that the peace treaty of High Hrotghar has made everyone unhappy with his choices".

It was true: after the meeting between the Legion and the Stormcloaks, many soldiers had protested against the decisions taken by Tullius and Ulfric - and to gain the forgiveness of their men, the two leaders had been quick to blame Steinarius for everything they had agreed to on that occasion.

There was a long moment of silence during which the twins seemed to think about Agda's words. Eventually, they spoke at the same time.

"I don't think we should help you", the shorter of them said.

"We will help you", the other replied.

Vilkas gave Farkas a crossed look, but the bulkier twin simply shrugged.

"The girl is right", he calmly explained. "Steinarius is the only one who can save the world from its end. And then, keeping an eye on that goofball shouldn't be too difficult".

Vilkas made to reply, but his brother was quick to stop him by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Vilkas, Steinar once was our best friend", he reminded him. "By asking Kodlak to meet him, he's telling us that he's finally left the past behind; maybe we should do the same and welcome him back in our pack. After all, it was also our fault if his family was destroyed in the blink of an eye".

Agda remained silent as the twins exchanged a long, meaningful look. Eventually, both of them nodded at the same time.

"You have our word", Farkas said while turning towards Agda and smiling at her. "We will keep an eye on your man, Agda. Thank you for turning to us".

"Thank you for accepting to help me", the mage replied.

Vilkas left the courtyard without bidding her goodbye, Farkas instead lingered there for another moment and smiled.

"Vilkas and Steinarius have always been proud and stubborn, but I think they will go back to being best friends as soon as they meet again", he revealed Agda. "Speaking of best friends, I would be very glad if you could say hello to Adaeze, if you see her. She really is a sweet woman".

Surprised by that request, Agda had to stifle a grimace, as she didn't know how to explain Farkas that Adaeze now had another man. One thing, however, she knew: now that Steinarius was in safe hands, she had no other reasons to delay her departure for the North.

* * *

Winterhold was even colder and shabbier than Agda remembered it.

On her way to the city, the young Archmage felt the long claws of guilt and uneasiness tug at her soul. She knew that over the previous weeks she had neglected her tasks, she knew she had abandoned her colleagues without even providing them with an explanation, she knew she had valued her and Steinarius' happiness to be more important than the people of Winterhold's - but only when she got off her horse did Agda fully realize the full extent of her mistakes.

The first thing the girl noticed was that the roads of the city were full of gruff warriors who seemed tired and angry. Many of them wore blue armors - blue armors just like the ones of the Stormcloaks. Confronted with that unusual sight, Agda looked around in the hope to find an explanation for it. When she saw Birna and Herius coming her way, the mage couldn't believe her luck: she had finally found someone who could inform as to the most recents events that had taken place in her city.

"Archmage, you're back!", the leader of the local guards smiled.

Herius was a mid-aged Imperial with a broad, sincere face and a mane of dark hair. When Agda acknowledged the way he hastily let go of Birna's hand upon noticing her, she told herself that she had missed a hundred of things while she was away - and luckily enough, not all of them were bad.

"I am back indeed, Herius", Agda tried to reply while hiding her worries behind a smile. "Although I must admit that I wasn't expecting Winterhold to become a Stormcloak's camp in just a couple of weeks".

"Actually, you were gone for much longer than that", the man said. Herius was a kind and diplomatic man, but he was never afraid to speak his mind. "However, the most important political changes have taken place right after you left. Jarl Korir took advantage of your absence to increase the power of the Stormcloaks in his Hold -and Ulfric has thanked him by stationing some of his men inside the city walls. They don't get on well with you mages and they're having troubles keeping the magic anomalies around the city at bay. I suppose this is why they look so grumpy - and I suppose that those magical anomalies are the reason why you came back, Archmage. Anyway, the Stormcloaks are now in charge of defending the city. Korir has even given me and my men a 'temporary leave': he told me that, as long as the rebels are here, he doesn't need us anymore".

Surprised by that discovery, Agda blinked in confusion.

"Faralda didn't tell me anything about the Stormcloaks replacing the local guards".

"Well, let's say that the College hasn't been the same since you left", Herius grimaced. "Your colleagues have stopped producing magical weapons for us guards and they've stopped supplying Birna with enchanted items for her shop. As well as neglecting their duties to the city, I'm pretty sure they also forgot to send you detailled reports of their activities".

When Birna confirmed that fact with a nod, Agda deadpanned.

"That's impossible!", she cried out in dismay. "I've been gone for a while, sure, but I never gave my men permission to stop helping the inhab..."

"Archmage, if you will, I'd be glad to give you some advice coming from my military career", Herius rapidly broke Agda off. "First, when you leave your men alone for a while, be sure to have someone keep an eye on them. Second, try to keep yourself up-to-date with what happens in your city. Third, ask different people to write you letters, so that you can see the same fact from different perspectives. Last but not least, remember that coldness and sterness aren't the right foundations for a solid building. If people fear you, they will follow you until they're presented with a better alternative; if they actually trust you and esteem you, however, they will follow you until the end".

Taken aback by those remarks, Agda thought about the way she'd always behaved after becoming the Archmage of Winterhold. 'Agda the Cold', the people of Winterhold had been calling her ever since then - and they called her like that because they thought her moody and stern and cold and detached.

 _People respected me because they feared me_ , the girl realized with a shiver - and as she did, she understood that she needed to change the opinion people had of her.

* * *

The mages of the College welcomed Agda with a mixture of fear and anger and anxiety. Sergius greeted her with a skeptical "you finally honor us with your presence", whereas Drevys cast an invisibility spell in order to avoid possible questions about the progress of the researches Agda had tasked him with before leaving for Blackreach. Urag acknowledged her return with a snort, Tolfdir hadn't even noticed she had left, Brelyna and Onmund ran behind a tree to hide the way one of the Dunmer's forbidden experiments had caused both of their noses to become violet. The only one who seemed sincerely happy to see Agda was Colette, who gave her a long hug in front of every other mage of the College. Faralda, instead, was strangely cold and detached.

"Won't you tell me why you're so angry?", Agda asked her when they were finally alone.

The girl regretted that decision in less than a heartbeat: the Elf began telling her about the problems with Korir, about the daily arguments with the Stormcloaks, about a dragon that had taken roaming around Winterhold at least twice a week - and when she was finally done complaining, Faralda gave the Archmage an angry warning.

"If you don't clean the mess your absence has caused, I will resign from my job!"

Agda made to reply, but Faralda cast a spell and disappeared from her sight.

Sighing, the young Archmage had to admit her colleagues were right. She had ignored her duties for too long - now it was time to go back to work and put a remedy to her neglicence.

* * *

Yawning, Agda laid her head on the small wooden table and wearily rubbed her eyes. It was well past midnight and the young Nord was analyzing one of the reports Onmund had written about the experiments he had carried out over the previous weeks. Reading the documents produced by each mage of the College was a long and boring job, but Agda needed to do it in order to reassess her position in the school.

Her first days back in Winterhold had been incredibly irritating, the mage thought with a scoff. Agda had hoped to kill the magic anomalies roaming around the city immediately after her return, but none of her colleagues had volunteered to help her. Angered by the laziness of her men, Agda had turned to Herius. The man had unfortunately been unable to aid her - and since the safety of Winterhold was now in the hands of the Stormcloak, the Archmage had been forced to discuss the matter with Jarl Korir and the local spokeman of the rebels. The ruler of the city had spent the whole meeting insulting Agda and her colleagues, so that at the end of the day the girl had let off steam by killing each and everyone of the magical anomalies by herself.

After fulfilling that task, part of Agda's mind was set on returning to Whiterun; another, more rational part, however, forced the girl to remain in Winterhold for at least another week. During those few days the College seemed to retrieve the productivity Agda had originally brought about: Sergius and Enthir sold a lot of goods to Birna, Drevys carried on with his research, Faralda grew slightly more forgiving, Colette resumed her healing courses for the people of Winterhold. At first the inhabitants of the city were skeptical about that renewed activity inside the College walls, but then they slowly got used to it again. Nonetheless, they found it hard to recognize the once broody master of their magical school. Agda was still cold and detached with the people she didn't trust, sure, but with everyone else she had resumed part of her original chattiness. Many villagers were surprised by that fact, but it took them just one look at the star-shaped jewel Agda always carried around her neck to understand the reason behind that change - confronted with the flames of passion, Agda the Cold had finally melted in the warm arms of the Dragonborn.

With a sigh full of nostalgia, Agda looked at the necklace she'd just placed on her desk. The silver jewel shone like a diamond in the dimly-lit room and reminded her of the beautiful starry nights of the tundra. As she thought about them, the mage realized that she missed Whiterun, that she missed Breezehome, that she missed being a commoner with no other worries than what to cook for lunch; but most of all, Agda sighed, she missed her man and his smiles.

Keen on making her way across the long report written by Onmund, the young mage forced herself to forget about Steinarius and focus on the task at hand. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done: she was tired and cold and sleepy and wanted nothing more than to lay down and fall asleep in her man's arms.

* * *

There was a loud noice and Agda jolted upright all of a sudden. She'd thought of sleeping with Steinarius so hard that she'd actually fallen asleep at her desk, she immediately realized; also, the girl noticed that cold gusts of wind were seemingly coming from the floor above her. As she understood what that meant, the mage panicked: either she had left the door to the roof of the College open, or someone had taken advantage of her tiredness in order to sneak inside the building.

Before Agda could leave her seat and make sure she was alone, a blurry form moved amidst the shadows - and a moment later, a cold blade was pressed unforgivingly against the mage's neck.

"If you scream, you're a dead woman", a female voice commanded.

Hissing in discomfort, Agda thought about casting a teletransportation spell. Unfortunately, the intruder was very cunning: as soon as the mage came up with that idea, the newcomer tied her hands together and pressed a vial against her lips. As she gulped its content, Agda recognized the sickening taste of the potions people used to prevent their enemies from using magic - and without magic and with her hands tied, there wasn't much she could do to escape her attacker.

As she tried to guess the identity of that mysterious woman, Agda felt her blood turn into ice. There was something familiar in her thick Nord accent, in her tall and slender figure clad in black leather armor, in her talent at moving swiftly amidst the shadows - but most of all, there was something familiar in the glass sword strapped at her waist.

"You're the same person I met shortly before being tortured by Ancano", Agda said, the memories of that weird night finally coming back to her. "The one who told me to give that sword to Enthir".

Much to Agda's surprise, the woman didn't seem angry at being recognized - quite on the contrary, she removed the dagger from the mage's neck and let out a loud laughter.

"You are really weird, Agda of Anvil: after all I did for you, you only remember me because of that night in the courtyard".

Frowning, Agda tried to understand what the stranger was talking about. The mage even thought about using the power of the Serpent Stone to paralyze her enemy and interrogate her, but changed her mind as soon as she remembered about making a vow to the Mage Stone less than a month earlier, during a short trip to Riverwood together with Steinarius. As she thought about that day, however, Agda felt no regret: there was something fascinating about the intruder - something that made her unable to think of that mysterious woman as a threat.

"I also remember that a Thalmor stole the sword you gave me", she said in reply to her remark. "That bastard took it away from me when I ventured into the Midden. Since you are now wielding it, I would like to know how you retrieved it".

The stranger chuckled, then she leant against a wall. She had a light limp and wore a face mask that hid her traits from sight.

"After you killed Ancano, the College was a true mess. In those days it wasn't difficult for me to sneak into his office and take what was rightfully mine; also, during that short trip I came across a highly valuable journal where that bastard had written a lot of things about the Thalmor plans to conquer the world. That's why I turned to Delphine - and that's why I turned up here tonight".

Surprised by the mention of her former employer, Agda frowned.

"Why do you know Delphine?", she asked. "And most of all, who are you?"

There was a long moment of silence during which the stranger gave Agda a confused look. Her black eyes conveyed a sudden uneasiness, whereas her lips were closed in a thin line.

"What do you mean, _who am I_?"

"I mean what I've just said", Agda promptly replied. "I have no idea as to your identity".

For a moment the intruder seemed completely at loss for words.

"So the rumours are true", she whispered at last, shock well evident in her voice. "You don't remember anything from that night".

As a cold shiver ran down her spine, Agda frowned in fear and confusion. She had no idea what the stranger was talking about.

"What night? And why do you know so much about me? And what do you want from me?"

Sighing, the intruder gripped the bridge of her nose and shook her head in disbelief. Things were going to be much more complicated than she expected.

"Agda, people say that you don't remember how you got to Dawnstar after being tortured by Ancano. Is it true?"

Confused by that question, Agda frowned.

"I don't know what you're..."

"Just answer my question", the stranger hastily broke her off. " _Is it true_?"

Her frow burrowed in confusion, Agda carefully nodded.

"I remember venturing in the Midden and being tortured by Ancano, just like I remember waking up in Dawnstar days later", she explained. "Yet, I have no memories regarding the journey from Winterhold to Nightcaller Temple".

Much to Agda's dismay, the stranger looked completely shocked by that revelation.

"What have I done", she whispered.

The intruder seemed to struggle against regret for a long while; then, at last, she sighed and decided to help Agda retrieve the memories connected to the longest night of her life.

"Agda, listen to me carefully now", the woman said after eventually making up her mind. "Even if you don't remember it, I am the one who saved you from Ancano and carried you to Dawnstar. Now, if you will, I will explain you what happened during the most terrible hours of your life".

Shocked by that revelation, Agda frowned in confusion - and when the stranger began talking about that horrible night, she couldn't help but listen as the missing pieces of her memory finally found their rightful place in her mind.

* * *

When the stranger stopped speaking, Agda was left speechless for a very long time. The woman had talked about her job as a thief, about her attempts to keep the mage alive after Ancano dumped her in the cold waters of the Sea of Ghosts, about their desperate run to Nightcaller Temple. Now, however, Agda needed her to answer the question that had been tormenting her for months.

"I don't remember anything from that night", she whispered. "Do you know why?"

Sighing heavily, the mysterious thief sat down on a chair. Agda was still tied and unable to cast spells, therefore the stranger was sure she was no threat.

"I still haven't told you my name, Agda - but when I do, I'm sure that everything will become clearer".

As soon as the thief spoke, Agda felt as though her heart had just stopped beating. The black eyes, the limp, the strange attraction that woman seemed to feel towards her... Everything suddenly became evident and Agda felt as though the truth was taking the air away from her lungs.

"You must be Vigdis", she said at last, her voice feeble from shock and surprise. "The same Vigdis Steinarius wanted to marry! All this time, you've always been alive! And all this time, you've always..."

"Agda, we have already faced this discussion once", the thief broke the mage off. When Vigdis didn't deny her identity, Agda felt even more shocked and surprised. "I know that you don't remember it, but I don't have time to repeat everything I already told you before leading you to Dawnstar. I loved Steinarius, I dumped him, I now have a different man in my life - I don't see what else needs to be said".

Despite the thief's words, Agda was still shocked by her revelation. The mysterious person who had saved her from certain death was the very same person who still influenced her reòationship with Steinarius - and as she thought about that fact, the mage couldn't help but think of the turns her life would have taken if Vigdis had entered Nightcaller Temple while Steinarius was there.

"That night in Dawnstar..."

"I perfectly know who was in Dawnstar that night", Vigdis hastily broke the mage off. "And this is why I decided to erase your memory".

Shock. Confusion. Disbelief. Anger.

That was all Agda felt as soon as those words left the thief's lips.

"It's your fault if I don't remember anything", she whispered, rage mounting within her as she spoke each and every word. "It's your fault if I woke up surrounded by strangers, in a place I didn't know, covered in wounds whose origins I didn't remember, fearing I had lost my mind and..."

"It's my fault, it definitely is", Vigdis said. She could see the confusion and the pain in Agda's eyes, but she didn't allow them to influence her behavior towards that young mage. "My fault and Hermaeus Mora's".

Once again, Agda deadpanned. Before she could ask anything else, Vigdis sighed and began speaking. As she did, the thief took off the mask she was wearing. A cascade of dark, auburn hair immediately framed her pale face, whereas black, broody eyes bored into Agda's confused expression. The mage had to admit that the thief was very beautiful. Also, now that she could observe every detail of her face, she immediately recognized the strong warrior from Steinarius' descriptions.

"Agda, the night I saved you I was acting out of curiosity", Vigdis began. "I had decided to give you my sword just because I wanted to get to know you; yet, after realizing that the College was home to a Thalmor, I decided to stick around and check what that foul man was doing. Luckily enough, I happened to be near the College when Ancano dumped your consciousless body in the Sea of Ghosts - and luckily enough, I managed to get you out of the water and take you to a nearby lighthouse. Ancano hadn't killed you because he wanted you to suffer a slow and miserable death, but I was determined to save you.

"Sadly enough, when I got to the lighthouse I discovered that the local inhabitants had been slaughtered by Falmer. I waited until your conditions got slightly better, but we couldn't remain there long, as the enemies had already smelled our scents. For this reason I had to turn into a werewolf and take you somewhere else.

"Erandur has always been good towards me and my colleagues, so he looked like the most obvious choice. When I got to Dawnstar, however, I deadpanned: Steinarius' scent was all over the place - and since I didn't want him to meet me or to find out about me, I dropped you on the steps of Nightcaller Temple and ran away".

"But why erase my memory?", Agda asked, hurt and disappointment well evident in her voice.

"Agda, back then I wasn't thinking rationally", Vigdis sighed. "You were about to die in my arms, I was failing at my task to protect you, I was afraid Ancano had noticed something and had already started looking for you - and when I got to Nightcaller Temple and discovered that Steinarius was there, I panicked. I didn't want to meet him because I didn't feel ready to face him after all I did to him; also, you were drifting in and out of consciousness, so I couldn't simply ask you to keep my secret. This is why, in order to protect myself, I gave you a potion to erase your memory. Actually, back then it didn't look like a horrible decision: quite on the contary, I thought it was merciful of me to prevent you from remembering all the things Ancano did to you".

"Quite on the contrary, I think it wasn't merciful of you at all", Agda harshly replied.

Confronted with that remark, Vigdis scoffed.

"It's too late to complain about the past, Agda. Also, I didn't mean my potion to have a lasting effect: I had planned for it to fade about a couple of weeks later, so that you could retrieve your memories without problems. Sadly, you accelerated things by drinking a very strong potion in Nightcaller Temple; also, Hermaeus Mora decided to lure you into his tentacles by preventing you from retrieving part of your memories. That Daedra has wanted you to become his servant ever since Steinarius left for Solstheim - and he won't give up on you as long as you don't sell your soul to him".

Frowning, Agda remembered the terrible nightmares she'd been having ever since joining the College of Winterhold - nightmares where a black globe of tentacles would talk to her, where Steinarius was hurt while fighting in a foreign land, where a languid voice invited her to become a slave. After she was tortured by Ancano, the globe of tentacles had also begun mentioning her missing memories - and as she remembered about it, Agda understood that Vigdis was telling her the truth. It was Hermaeus Mora's fault if she still hadn't retrieved her memories - Vigdis had simply meant for her mental blackout to be temporary.

"How can I be sure you're telling me the truth?", the mage asked Vigdis.

The thief simply shrugged.

"You may consider me a heartless bitch, Agda, but I do care about you. This is why I paid a visit to Septimus Signus and tried to get in touch with Hermaeus Mora. I offered my soul to him, but that bastard didn't accept it: he said he only wanted you and Steinarius and that I already belonged to Hircine".

When Vigdis scoffed, Agda fell silent once again. The revelations from that night were turning her life upside down: Steinarius' former fiancée was alive and had been the one to save her from Ancano, a Daedra was after her soul and had prevented her from retrieving her memory because of that; last but not least, Vigdis seemingly knew Delphine. It was definitely a lot to take in in just one night.

"Delphine once told me that she had a mysterious helper keep an eye on me during my whole time at the College", the mage eventually whispered. She felt confused and surprised by all those revelations. "She was talking about you, wasn't she?"

"Delphine can be quite the liar, Agda", Vigdis commented with a grimace. "I wasn't working for her when I saved you, but I made her acquaintance shortly afterwards. That's when I told her about that night in Dawnstar - and that's when I gave her Ancano's journal".

Agda frowned. All the discoveries from that night had caused her to forget about that journal altogether.

"What was so important about that journal?", she asked.

Vigdis was quick to reply.

"Ancano was completely crazy, Agda. In his journal he wrote quite a lot of things about an Altmer Dragonborn and his desire to kill Steinarius so that his people could take the glory of defeating Alduin for themselves. I found those thoughts rather creepy - and when Ancano wrote that Elenwen agreed with him, I decided to get in touch with the Blades.

"For years the Thieves Guild was a shelter to Esbern, a former Blade and enemy to the Thalmor. Also, one of my colleagues is a good friend of Delphine. I tracked her down thanks to him and, when I gave her Ancano's journal, we decided to infiltrate the Thalmor Embassy to find out more about his fanatical dreams. It took me a lot of time, but I eventually managed to steal some important documents regarding Ancano's crazy plans and Elenwen's opinions about them. Unfortunately, that witch thinks her colleague was right and is determined to follow his ideas".

"Delphine already told me about that", Agda pointed out. "Why would she send you here to warn me once again?"

"Delphine didn't send me, Agda", Vigdis underlined. "I came here myself after noticing the way Steinarius happily spends his days in Whiterun. You didn't tell him anything about your meeting with Delphine, did you?"

When the mage didn't reply, Vigdis sighed.

"Just like I imagined", she said while fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Her voice had suddenly become cold and detahced. "Listen, Agda: after what you did to Elenwen in High Hrotghar, I ventured into the Thalmor Embassy once again. She's downright pissed at you and she thinks it's time she took her rage out on your man. Steinarius' life is in danger, girl - and I'd be very glad if you got back to Whiterun and tried to protect him. After all, as you yourself said more than once, _the destiny of the world depends on his survival_. I would warn him myself, believe me, but I don't want to cause problems between the two of you - not now that you've finally found happiness again".

Agda was surprised by Vigdis' worry. Also, she was angered by the thief's belief that she wasn't doing enough to protect her man from his enemies.

"Steinarius is under strict surveillance, Vigdis", she replied, her brown eyes full of determination. "He has a very protective Huskarl and I told the guards of Whiterun to keep an eye on him too. Also the Companions will look after him".

"Of course they will", Vigdis scoffed. "They will look after him just like they did with me when I was pregnant".

Agda made to reply, but fell silent when she noticed the hurt on Vigdis' beautiful face. The thief suddenly looked frail and vulnerable.

"Agda, I'm not saying you're not trying hard enough to defend Steinarius", she said, her tone surprisingly soft. "I just think that you should have warned him about the danger. Even though you refused her help, Delphine has asked the Blades to keep an eye on Steinarius; yet, your man could notice their presence around Whiterun and decide to run away without telling anyone. I think he deserves to know, Agda - and this is why I would like you to leave for Whiterun as soon as possible and to keep your man safe from the Thalmor. I am begging you, Agda - and I'm not usually one to beg".

As Vigdis stopped talking, Agda looked into her black eyes. Inside them she could see a genuine worry, a deep fear, a sea of regrets for all the mistakes she'd made in her life. Almost as though she'd read her mind, the thief stepped towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I know how it feels to live within the shadows of regret - and believe me when I say that, should anything happen to Steinarius, you will never be able to resume your normal life. I'm not asking much, Agda: you just need to keep him safe. If you really love him, it shouldn't be too difficult".

And with those words, Vigdis vanished into the shadows and disappeared once again from Agda's life.

* * *

After Vigdis' visit, Agda remained still for what felt like years. That ghost from Steinarius' past had come to haunt her with all her revelations and now the mage thought it impossible to go on with her daily routine. How could she explain her fears to Steinarius without mentioning her meeting with Delphine and Vigdis' role at discovering the Thalmor plans? How could see retrieve her inner peace now that she knew that a Daedra was after her soul? But most of all, how could she be happy with Steinarius, all while knowing that his former fiancée was still alive?

Tormented by those thoughts, Agda remained awake until sunrise. At that point, the mage finally laid out a plan. First of all, she decided to visit Septimus Signus and ask Hermaeus Mora to give her back her memories, so that she could check whether Vigdis had told her the truth. Second, she would go back to the College and write a letter to Steinarius in order to explain him the danger looming over his life. Last but not least, she would spend the rest of the day in Winterhold and leave for Whiterun at sunset.

Vigdis was right: if she loved Steinarius, she needed to do everything she could to keep him safe.


	71. Out of the blue and into the black

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with a new update to this extremely long story of mine. As MeanE correctly predicted, things are about to get really dangerous for Agda and Steinarius, therefore I ask you to read with caution. First, however, let me thank each and everyone of you readers for your support.**

 **ShpperofTrashyShips was right when they said that things are about to get tense soon. Also, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who visits this website while they're at work. You have my sympathy, so worry not for the short review!**

 **As for Elspeth's comment, I'm glad you think Vigdis is cool. She is a very complex character and one day I would like to write a whole story centering about her life with Steinarius. Also, Farkas and Vilkas are definitely going to have a more active role in this story.**

 **Last but not least, I wanted to thank Valtieri for pointing out that the previous chapter was probably too confused and confusing. I have the tendency to reveal too many things at once, so I will have to keep it in mind for the future. Also, I'm glad you pointed out that Vigdis is difficult to trust. There's a reason why Agda didn't take her warning seriously!**

 **As for this new chapter, it has a warning for violence. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think and have a nice weekend!**

* * *

 **23rd of Last Seed, 4E 203**

Steinarius tried to sneak out of the house as slowly as he could. It had been a week since Agda left for Winterhold and ever since then he'd been busy turning the main terrace of Dragonsreach into a huge cage for dragons. Also, he'd been very busy training with the Companions.

Steinarius had felt very unease upon entering Jorrvaskr for the first time in years; yet, when Kodlak had invited him to dine wit him and the others, he had been unable to turn down his offer. The interior of the ancient hall hadn't changed in the slightest, the Dragonborn had acknowledged - and the same was true for his former shield siblings. Sure, Farkas looked even bulkier and Vilkas seemed more aggressive and broodier than ever, but everything else - the food, the weapon racks by the door, even the plates and the goblets of wine - everything else was exactly the same way as it had been years earlier, when the Dragonborn was but a young whelp who had just joined that legendary group of warriors. When the door to the training yard slowly creaked open during dinner, Steinarius even expected Vigdis to walk inside the room, smirk at him and sit down by his side, war paint on her pale face and a look of love in her beautiful black irises. Upon recognizing Aela, however, the Dragonborn had sighed. Those happy times were over: now he had a different job, a different life, a different woman by his side - and said woman was the reason why he was sneaking out of Whiterun long before sunrise.

During the previous days Steinarius had noticed that people seemed to keep a very watchful eye on him: Vilkas and Farkas always wanted to be informed as to his whereabouts, the city guards accompanied him whenever he took a walk outside the city, Lydia organized his days so that he wouldn't leave the safe walls of Whiterun without her supervision. Also, on the previous day the Dragonborn had caught a glimpse of a warrior who had strangely reminded him of Faendal from the Blades. Feeling observed, the man was keen on leaving the city as soon as possible so that he could prepare a wonderful surprise for Agda's return.

When he slowly pushed open the door to his house, Steinarius smiled. The air smelled of rain and the roads of Whiterun looked completely empty. After drinking an invisibility potion, the Imperial giggled and walked towards Jorrvaskr. He didn't want to leave the city through the main gate, just like he didn't want to travel to Riften with a horse; for this reason he walked into the Underforge, stuffed his clothes in a bag and turned into a werewolf.

When the transformation was complete, Steinarius looked around the small room. He could feel the strong scent of Aela and Skjor's beasts and the fainter traces left by Farkas and Vilkas' rarer changes. Also, as he caught a glimpse of the altar in the middle of the forge, Steinarius remembered the day of Vigdis' first transformation. He remembered the anxiety in her eyes, her nervous heartbeat, the way he had kindly taken her hand and turned into a werewolf in front of her eyes; he remembered following her during her first hunt, taking her to a little tent after she shifted back into her human form and passed out from exhaustion, stroking her hair as she rested after that night full of emotions; at last, Steinarius remembered smiling to her when she came to, making love to her for the first time, claiming that wonderful woman for himself and wishing she would never leave him.

With a low growl, the man forced himself to abandon those thoughts and leave the Underforge. Vigdis was his past - now, his heart and mind and soul belonged to the little mage he wanted to propose to.

Fueled by that thought, Steinarius travelled through Skyrim for most of the day. The rain made it difficult for travellers to walk through the planes of Whiterun and the woods of the Rift, so the man reached Riften without any risky encounter. He shifted back to his human form about one mile away from the city, he put on his plain civil clothes and his knapsack, then he continued the journey to his destination.

Steinarius wasn't fond of Riften. The city had a great potential, laying as it was in the middle of the lushest forest of Skyrim and on the shores of its most fascinating lake; yet, the natural beauty of that place faded because of its dirty houses, its stinky canals and its high rate of criminality.

As Steinarius pushed open the doors to the city, a Khajiti woman gave him a long, weird look. The man thought she was probably a thief who was evaluating the chances of pickpocketing him, so he didn't pay her any mind; yet, when other people stared at him in a similar way while he was walking in the marketplace, he brought his hand to the hilt of his sword and sped up his pace.

The Temple of Mara was just like Steinarius remembered it. He had visited it with Vigdis a long time ago, shortly after Thorygg's wedding. Maramal still remembered him and said he was very pleased to know that Steinarius had found another woman; yet, the Imperial couldn't help but think that the priests' happiness seemed to derive from the fact that he had just purchased two very expensive Amulets of Mara rather than from a real interest in his wellbeing.

Done with the shopping, Steinarius returned to the marketplace. It didn't take him long to locate Madesi, the man he wanted to talk to - and it didn't take him long to convince the Argonian to close his shop for the rest of the day and have a good tankard of mead in the local inn. Ever since Steinarius had helped him sort some troubles with his supplies, Madesi considered him a loyal friend and protector.

"I'm here because I'd like to ask for your advice", Steinarius told the Argonian after some small talks. "I need to smith a jewel for my girlfriend".

Surprised by the revelation, Madesi burst into a loud laughter.

"You finally listened to me and found yourself another woman! I'm so happy for you, Crepusculus!"

Steinarius blushed at that unexpected display of sympathy, then he proceeded to tell Madesi about his ideas for an engagement ring.

"Agda likes beautiful clothes, but her job requires her to wear simple things ", he explained. "That's why I want the ring to be beautiful, yet simple. Also, I want it to symbolize something".

"Have you aleady chosen the materials?"

Steinarius nodded, then he showed Madesi some of the precious gems he had in his knapsack. The Argonian was very surprised by their quality and shape.

The two of them chatted for most of the afternoon, then Steinarius bid Madesi goodbye and paid a visit to Balimund, the local blacksmith. The old man welcomed him with a smile and invited him to have dinner with him, then he allowed Steinarius to use his forge as long as he wanted to. Knowing that he had everything ready, the Imperial set to work with renewed enthusiasm.

Agda's engagement ring was going to be the most beautiful jewel of Skyrim.

* * *

Steinarius worked for most of the night. The local guards seemed surprised by the sight of that shirtless Imperial who was busy at Balimund's forge, but they didn't ask him any question. Undisturbed, Steinarius completed the ring as the first rays of sun shone on the city. As he looked at his handicraft, the man smiled: he was probably partial, but in his opinion that ring was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

The jewel was formed by three bands made of ebony and silver. On each band laid a different gem: a ruby, a diamond and a sapphire. Steinarius had chosen those stones together with Madesi: the ruby indicated passion, the diamond stood for eternity, the sapphire was connected to beauty. Steinarius first thought he might have exaggerated but now, as he looked at his creation, he felt that that small jewel was the perfect gift to Agda. Now he only needed to go back to her, fall on his knee and ask her to marry him - and as he thought of that, the man realized that the idea of proposing to his lil' mage scared him even more than the upcoming fight against Alduin did. He was sure that Agda was the right woman for him - yet, he was afraid he wasn't the man she deserved.

Trying to forget about his worries, Steinarius headed to the local inn for a quick breakfast. He took the chance to show the ring to Madesi, Keerava and Talen-Jei - and when the only woman of the party let out a pleased squeal and said she wanted a similar jewel for herself, the Imperial felt relieved about his decision to make such an expensive gift for Agda.

After breakfast Steinarius thanked Balimund for lending him his forge, then he took the long road back to Whiterun. The man was tired, but he was too excited to spend some hours of rest in Riften. He kept the ring he had smithed for Agda hidden in a secret pocket in his shirt and he made sure to sell all the other gems he had carried with him to Madesi, so that people wouldn't think of following him outside the city in order to pickpocket him.

As Steinarius reached the stables of Riften, a family of peasants asked him where he was going. Surprised by the question, the man mentioned he needed to get to Whiterun - and as soon as he did, the farmers asked him whether he could travel on their carriage in order to protect them. Unable to believe his luck, the Dragonborn accepted the chance to travel to Whiterun in such a comfortable way.

Along the road, the Imperial made better acquaintance with the people who had seemingly mistaken him for a sellsword. The party of peasants was formed by four people: two old parents, their teenage daughter and his Imperial boyfriend.

The journey went by calmly for most of the day; upon approaching Valtheim, however, the older farmer stopped his carriage and turned to Steinarius.

"This area is said to be full of bandits", he said, concern well evident in his voice.

Taking the hint, Steinarius hopped off the carriage with a smile.

"Don't worry", he said. "I'll take care of them my..."

The Dragonborn never finished that sentence: as the older woman cast a paralyzing spell and burst into a laughter, he could only curse his naivete and hope for the better.

* * *

Steinarius came to in what looked like a cave. He was kept upright by some chains connected to his wrists and he had been gagged so that he could not use his Thu'um. Someone had taken off his shirt and, when Steinarius noticed that, he felt rage rise within. Whoever had forced him into that uncomfortable stance had better not touch the ring he had smithed for Agda.

Probably alerted by his angry scoff, some people slowly approached the Dragonborn. Steinarius recognized the farmers he had accompanied to Whiterun, some gruff warriors he had never met before and a group of tall men who looked at him with a chuckle. When he took in their black robes and chiselled features, the Dragonborn felt his heart skip a beat: he was in the company of some Thalmor agents.

"Sweet, sweet revenge", one of the Altmer whispered. He made to approach Steinarius but, when the man tried to break free from his restraints, he seemingly changed his mind.

"You are right at being angry, Crepusculus", another Thalmor added. He was tall and slender and seemed to be in charge of the other men. "After all, we didn't even introduce ourselves. My name is Rulindil and I am one of the most important emissaries of the Thalmor in this country. You know, I think it is very fitting for me to be here: Ancano and I were very close, so it is good to get a chance of killing the man whose lover murdered my best friend".

Steinarius made to snarl a reply, but the gag prevented him from speaking.

"Oh, my friends here did warn me that you could be, shall we say, _feral_ in your behavior... Luckily enough, we gave you some silver extract while you were unconscious, so that you won't be able to turn into a furry monster".

Confronted with those words, Steinarius suddenly stopped fighting against his restraints.

"You're surprised, aren't you?", Rulindil smiled at him. "Well, you have every right to be. No one would have thought the mighty Dragonborn to have so many enemies - no one but me and Elenwen. While asking questions about you all over Skyrim, we discovered an old story about you and your former girlfriend, that Vigdis. You moved in with her after she was kidnapped by a band of criminals - and those criminals called themselves _The Silver Hand_. After hearing about that gossip, it wasn't difficult for us to get in touch with them and discover why they were so mean to that poor girl. We were rather surprised when they said that the Companions are werewolves - and we were rather pleased when they volunteered to help us capture you so that they could avenge everything you did to them when you were one of Kodlak's men".

As Rulindil spoke, the family Steinarius had mistaken for farmers gave him long and evil smiles. Only then did the man realize that the people inside the cave were either with the Thalmor or with the Silver Hand.

"You're probably wondering why we wanted to capture you, aren't you?", Rulindil asked.

As he spoke, the man laid a hand on Steinarius' cheek, causing him to try and bite his fingers. Chuckling, the Altmer reacted by casting a paralyzing spell.

"It is very simple, Crepusculus: you and your lovely Agda have been causing quite a lot of troubles as of late. You kicked the Thalmor out of an important council, you killed one of our colleagues, you acted as though you were the chosen savior of Tamriel... What? You say you actually _are_ the chosen savior of Skyrim? Well, sorry to disappoint you, Crepusculus, but we think we have found an alternative. Her name is Laenara and, although she's very young, she's already much better than you. She's strong and powerful and beautiful - and most of all, she is a pure-bred Altmer. She's come to Skyrim two weeks ago and she's already killed her first dragon. Also, after months of training she's already learned her first Shout. Sure, Laenara might have a lot to learn about the whole 'absorbing dragon souls' business, but she is a very promising Dragonborn. Give her six months time, and I'm sure people of Skyrim will love her much more than they ever loved you".

As he heard those words, Steinarius felt panic tug at his soul. That Laenara, or whatever her name was, could be as talented and brave as she wanted, but she couldn't be considered dragonborn unless she knew how to absorb dragon souls. Rulindil couldn't be serious and believe that an Altmer brat could replace him just because she had learned to use a Shout!

Noticing the fear and the disgust in the eyes of the Imperial, Rulindil smirked.

"You don't think Laenara will be up to the task, do you?", he asked with a low chuckle. "Well, I'll tell you what, Crepusculus: if someone from an inferior race like you can defeat a God, an Altmer like Laenara can become a God herself. Now, however, I think we're done talking. We can't allow ourselves to have you around while our own little Dragonborn tries to find her place in the world - and this is why your life ends here, Imperial. We have already lost enough time and we cannot wait to see you beg for death. After all, I think it's high time we sent you to meet your dear Vigdis".

As he heard those words, Steinarius tried to use a Fire-Shout despite his gag. Unfortunately, the silver running through his veins was making it hard for him to rely on his powers; also, it was making him feel unfocused and lightheaded.

Laughing at the way the Dragonborn was weakly trying to get free, Rulindil motioned for the oldest member of the Silver Hand to approach him - and when the man hit him for the first time and Steinarius tried to react with another Shout, the Thalmor was quick to renew his paralysis spell. He had made his best to make the Imperial unable to move, but he didn't want to run any risk.

Paralyzed and unable to defend himself, Steinarius had to watch as each and every member of the Silver Hand covered his body in wounds. The poison running through his body was temporarily numbing the pain, but the Dragonborn was sure that the effect wouldn't last long - and when one Thalmor used a fire-spell on his torso, Steinarius realized that his fears had been funded.

The Dragonborn passed out multiple times as an effects of the beatings, but every time Rulindil forced him awake with a spell. Steinarius had to watch as the Thalmor and the Silver Hand did their best at destroying his body, then he had to listen as Rulindil took his chin and began whispering into his ears.

"Now you know how Agda felt when she was tortured", he evilly smiled. "And you know how she'll feel when we pay her another visit. It's all her fault, Steinarius: had she not killed Ancano and kicked Elenwen out of the meeting at High Hrotghar, we wouldn't have come up with this idea at all".

Despite the pain in his body, Steinarius tried to shake his head. The Thalmor were evil creatures as they were, therefore Agda had nothing to do with what was going on in that cave.

Unwilling to let him rest, Rulindil spoke to Steinarius once again. The man had suffered quite a lot of blows to the head, therefore the words of the Elf echoed extremely loudly through his ears.

"Do you know the best thing about this?", the Elf whispered so that the members of the Silver Hand couldn't hear him. "Once we're done with you, we'll force your farmer friends and their colleagues to dress up as Imperial and Stormcloak soldiers, then we'll slaughter them. Once the local guards retrieve your corpse together with theirs, the Legion will blame Ulfric for killing you, whereas Ulfric will blame the Legion. In that way, all your efforts to bring peace to this land will be in vain".

As Rulindil burst into an evil laughter, Steinarius felt tears of pain and frustration well up in his eyes. They couldn't ruin his life just like that, not after all he had done for others! How could the Gods just stand there and watch as such evil creatures roamed the world?

Lost in those thoughts, the Dragonborn whimpered in pain when the Thalmor resumed torturing him with magic. At last, when the Imperial thought he couldn't take it anymore, Rulindil laid his long fingers on his temples.

"You know, Steinarius, we Thalmor think that the worst kind of torture is the mental one - which is why we would love to turn your best memory into nightmares as we wait for you to succumb to your wounds. You're already losing a lot of blood and in the next few hours we'll make sure to hurt you even more".

As Rulindil spoke, Steinarius felt as though the long fingers of that evil creature were searching through his brain. All of a sudden he felt as though he was back in Riverwood, Agda's lips pressing against his own and her eyes full of love and attention. When the mage made to unbutton her dress, however, Steinarius managed to resist Rulindil's intrusion inside his memories. That unexpected act of resistance earned him a very strong kick in the nethers, which almost caused him to bent his body despite the shackles keeping him upright.

"I see we haven't broken you enough", the Thalmor snorted. "That is not a problem, however: we have the rest of the day to ourselves".

And when he passed out as a consequence of another strong spell, Steinarius couldn't help but think that the man was terribly, horribly right.

* * *

Steinarius didn't know how long they tortured him. When they finally left him alone for a couple of minutes in order to take a break, his face hurt so much that he couldn't even open his eyes. The man was sure that his shoulders had been dislocated by the chains used to keep him upright, whereas his wrists had been injured by the raw edges of the shackles. His back had remained untouched, sure, but his chest was a canvass of black, red and pink from where the punches, the knives and the fire spells had hurt him. As for the lower part of his body, Steinarius didn't have the strength to think about it: his legs were broken in different points and so were his hips. Also, he had the vague sensation that all his chances of becoming a father had vanished because of a particularly evil fire spell.

Trying to take a deep breath, the Dragonborn started coughing. No one gave him water, no one tried to shush him: as blood from his nose dripped into his mouth and seemed to suffocate him, his torturers simply chuckled and laughed.

 _This is the last phase_ , Rulindil had mentioned while tracing a series of little cuts all over Steinarius' body while using a poisoned dagger.

The venom was about to cause Steinarius' organs to stop working, all while giving the Thalmor enough time to cause him horrible nightmares by altering his memory. Hurt and broken and battered, the Imperial thought of his happiness from that morning, as he had thought about Agda and his desire to make her his wife. Now, instead, he could only hope she would retrieve his corpse and give him a decent burial.

Lost in those thoughts, Steinarius didn't notice the way his torturers suddenly started screaming.

 _Maybe the Thalmor are killing the Silver Hand_ , he simply thought - but when he recognized Rulindil' shrill yells, the Dragonborn made an effort to open his eyes.

In front of him paraded an unexpected scene: a black werewolf was tearing his enemies apart one after the other. The creature seemed invincible and soon left a long trail of death behind.

By the time the beast approached Steinarius, all his torturers were dead. The man looked the werewolf in its perfect silver eyes and noticed that they were strangely familiar. Yet, when the creature freed him from his chains and his body fell to the ground, Steinarius stopped thinking altogether: as broken as he was, he could only drift into darkness and hope his little Eidan was there to welcome him.


	72. Guilty

**Author's note:**

 **With one week of delay on my usual schedule, here I am with my latest update. Work has been a terrible mess these days, but luckily enough this story is there to help me let off steam - and luckily enough, you readers are here to support me.**

 **As usual, I take this chance to thank all my followers, favoriters and reviewers, new and old alike. Also, on a general note, I'd like to thank all those who silently read and appreciate this story. You do a great job at keeping my motivation running!**

 **As for the reviews on chapter 71, I absolutely thank MeanE for their opinion, which was as fun and interesting as usual. I must admit that the events of the previous instalment were rather predictable and that while writing that chapter I was afraid of falling into the following pattern: "Agdy and Stein argue, then they make peace, then they make love, then someone gets tortured and everyone gets mad at the Thalmor - repeat all over again for multiple times". Hopefully the next few chapters will manage to break that pattern once and for all.**

 **Still speaking of MeanE's review, I must thank you for your opinion regarding Rulindil and his monologue. I have noticed that monologues are the fatal flaws of many villains - had Harry Potter's enemies been less chatty during their encounters with him, for example, I think my favourite mage ever wouldn't have survived the first book of his saga.**

 **As for the "cut-off-of-his-monologue-so-you-can-cut-Stein" request, I must say that at first chapter 71 was much more graphic. Then, however, I realized I couldn't bring myself to write those things. Not again, at least - and not about Steinarius.**

 **On to the other reviews, I deeply thank ShipperOfTrashyShps for their opinion. The Thalmor will be heavily involved in the next few chapters - and that will help me explore the idea of the Altmer Dragonborn. Speaking of which, I'm glad Batzrblind (btw, love your nickname!) liked that idea. Also, it was good to know that you enjoyed chapter 71. You definitely gave me the motivation to finally get down to writing this new instalment and for that I sincerely thank you.**

 **The current chapter creates a bridge between Steinarius being tortured and the future development of the story. It is a bit of a filler-instalment and it is probably one of the worst things I have ever written, but I promise that from now things will get even more interesting.**

 **What else can I say, my dear readers?** **As usual, enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **25th of Last Seed, 4E 203**

As Colette finished up her soup, Agda nervously chewed on the inside of her cheek. The young mage looked like a ghost: her face was pale, her hair was a mess, her tired eyes were surrounded by dark shadows. But most of all, the young Nord couldn't stop checking the weather from one of the little windows of the Hall of the Vigilantes.

"My dear, you certainly are eager to be with your loved one again!", Colette commented upon noticing the look of worry and distress in Agda's eyes. "Too bad that this snowstorm has blocked us here".

Ignoring Colette's remark, Agda scoffed. She was glad her Restoration teacher had decided to get to Whiterun with her, yet she sincerely hoped there wouldn't be any chance for the Breton to prove her skills. Unfortunately, ever since her meeting with Vigdis, Agda believed that tragedy was about to strike.

After being visited by Steinarius' first love, Agda had had struggled to keep track of all the things she'd just found out about. First, Delphine had told her the truth about the Thalmor and their fake Altmeri Dragonborn; second, a Daedra was after her soul; third, Steinarius was truly in danger; last but not least, Vigdis was alive and well - and Agda owed her for saving her life from Ancano.

In order to come to terms with all those discoveries, Agda had taken a series of important decisions. First of all, the girl had visited Septimus Signus' hideout in the hope to discover more about Hermaeus Mora's interest for her soul. Upon reaching that messy cave, Agda had been shocked to find the lifeless body of her colleague in a pool of blood. At first she had blamed Vigdis for taking Septimus' life, but then she had noticed the marks left by huge tentacles all over his corpse. Despite that gruesome sight, the Archmage had not faltered: she had stepped towards the Dwemer machinery in the cave, then she had summoned Hermaeus Mora by simply whispering his name.

 _Agda of Anvil_ , the Daedra had greeted her with the usual seductive voice. _We finally meet, mortal. Septimus Signus offered me his soul, and so did the black-eyed woman who saved your life from the Thalmor. Nonetheless, I only pick the souls of the best people I come across - which is why I refused their gifts and insisted on showing you the right path through your dreams._

Slightly scared by the globe of tentacles in front of her, Agda had tried to resist the compliments of the Daedra. In the end, however, Mora had made her a very tempting offer.

Y _ou are torn, mortal, I can see that_ , the Daedra had told her. _You are torn between the desire of a happy life with the man you love and the fear of losing everything because of a woman who may or may not be a liar. It is knowledge that you seek, Agda: come to me and you will have it. I will show you what is right and wrong and I will help you know what happened the night after Ancano tortured you, so that you can decide whether to believe Vigdis or not._

Confronted with that offer, Agda had hesitated at long. Were the memories of just one night worth her soul? And could a Daedra really help her find happiness with the man she loved?

It had taken Agda a lot of time, but she had evntually made up her mind - and as soon as she had, Hermaeus Mora had awarded her by giving her all her memories back. Agda had remembered the way Ancano had tortured her, she had remembered waking up in a dismissed lighthouse together with Vigdis, she had remembered the crazy journey to Dawnstar in the company of that mysterious woman - and right then Agda had understood that she needed to trust that thief.

Upon making up her mind, Agda had immediately returned to Winterhold. Sadly enough, she had been blocked in the city by the sudden arrival of a very angry dragon. In the attempt to make her city safer, Agda had decided to attend a meeting with Jarl Korir and the local head of the Stormcloaks on the following afternoon - and in order to attend that meeting, she had been forced to postpone her departure for Whiterun. Fearing the possible consequences of that delay, the mage had taken a difficult decision: she had written Steinarius a long letter to ask him - or, better, _beg_ him - to remain inside the safe walls of Whiterun until her return.

 _It's a matter of life and death_ , _my love_ , Agda had written in the last sentence of that letter. _And once we are together I will explain you why - for now I only need you to trust me._

It had been five days since Agda had sent that letter. Unfortunately, after handing it to a courier and leaving for Whiterun shortly afterwards, the girl had been blocked in the Hall of the Vigilantes by an unexpected snowstorm. Colette was happy about it and couldn't understand why her Archmage was so grumpy; Agda, on the other hand, couldn't do anything but pray Stendarr and all the other Divines to keep Steinarius safe.

* * *

When she approached the stables of Whiterun, Agda felt the urge to let out a sigh: it had taken her almost a week, but now she could finally protect Steinarius against their common enemies. The mage's relief, however, was replaced by a feeling of nausea and uneasiness as soon as an old acquaintance of hers walked out of the stablemaster's house.

"Lydia, what are you doing here?", Agda asked when she found herself face-to-face with her man's huskarl.

Confronted with the unexpected appearance of the mage, Lydia deadpanned. When she noticed the fear on her face, Agda understood that something was wrong, deeply and horribly wrong.

"Lydia, what are you doing here?", she repeated, worry well evident in her voice.

While waiting for a reply, Agda tried to calm her frantic heartbeat. Surely there had to be a reason if Lydia was at the stables rather than in Breezehome - maybe Steinarius was training with Vilkas, maybe he had asked her to see that his horse was well fed, maybe she had a love-affair with the local stablemaster... As all those possible explanations were met with the terrified expression of the young huskarl, however, Agda understood that they were completely, utterly wrong. Something had happened - something unpleasant that probably involved Steinarius.

"Agda, Steinarius... He is... We cannot find him", Lydia answered at last. "He left Breezehome yesterday morning and he still hasn't come back. We're looking for him all over the city, but it looks like he's vanished into thin air".

Disbelief. Anxiety. Fear. Panic.

All those emotions washed over Agda at once, causing her to almost fall off her horse.

"It cannot be", she whispered, her voice full of confusion. "It cannot be, Lydia. I told you to look after Steinarius while I was away, I told you to look after him! Where is he now? Where are the Companions? Why didn't you keep an eye on him while I was away?"

Surprised by the way Agda's hands were visibly trembling, Colette carefully tried to calm her.

"Dear, there is no need to overreact like this!", she said. "Your man has probably gone hunting somewhere. The weather has been awful over the last few days, so he might have found shelter in some hunter's campsite while waiting for the storms to cease".

Although Colette's words made sense, Agda knew that Steinarius wasn't simply resting in a hunter's campsite. For some reason, the mage felt absolutely sure that something had happened- something bad, something that was about to destroy the happy life she'd tried so hard to build together with the Dragonborn.

Unable to explain why she was so terrified, Agda tried to get out of that situation by doing what she could best: she summoned a group of friends and people she trusted, then she organized the search for Steinarius.

In her heart she deeply hoped she wasn't too late to find him.

* * *

The rest of the day went by hectically. Riding like mad, Agda reached Rorikstead on her own, then she explored a vast part of the planes between Whiterun and Hjaalmar.

The mage was desperate: she knew Steinarius might have left Whiterun just to take a stroll in the woods of Falkreath, but she also knew that he might have been kidnapped and killed by the Thalmor. Torn by anxiety, the young Nord couldn't stop the tears that were streaking down her face - had she listened to Delphine, had she been less stubborn, had she trusted Vigdis, everything would have been different.

 _You shouldn't be so hard on yourself_ , a voice on the back of her mind whispered. _Maybe Steinarius is waiting for you with open arms in Whiterun_.

 _Or maybe he lies dead in the Thalmor Embassy_ , another, colder voice replied.

Trying to ignore those devious thoughts, Agda eventually decided to return to Whiterun. By then the sun was about to set and her horse was covered in sweat and blood because of all the times she had used a magic whip to make him go faster. While noticing the red stains on Snowbell's otherwise pure-white coat, Agda resumed crying once again. She was a hateful creature, that was the truth: she was unable to defend the ones she loved, but at the same time she had no troubles harming generous creatures like her own horse. Troubled by that thought, Agda felt so sick with herself that she had to stop in the middle of the road because of the strong feeling of nausea that suddenly washed over her.

When she finally got back to Whiterun, Agda immediately noticed the busy crowd of worried people near the stables. The girl recognized Kodlak Whitemane and Farengar Secret-Fire, she recognized Adrianne Avenicci and her husband, she recognized Lydia and Colette - and a moment later, she noticed the wooden stretcher that two bulky Companions were carrying. There was a body lying on that stretcher, a body Agda couldn't clearly see - but when Farkas and Vilkas looked at her with a mixture of sadness and guilt and regret, the mage understood.

The injured warrior being carried to Whiterun was her beloved Steinarius.

* * *

Agda didn't know what time it was when she finally came to. The girl remembered noticing the look of distress in Vilkas and Farkas' eyes, she remembered hopping off her horse and running towards Steinarius, then she remembered catching a glimpse of the Imperial's broken and battered body - and as she had, the girl had let out the most desperate scream anyone in Whiterun had ever heard. Now, surrounded by the unnatural calmness of the Temple of Kynareth, Agda struggled to understand what had happened since then.

"Oh dear, you're finally awake!", someone suddenly told her, thus snapping her out of her confused thoughts.

Blinking, Agda sat up on her bed only to find herself face-to-face with Colette. Before the young Nord could do anything, her former teacher threw her arms around her shoulders.

"Oh Agda, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you!", the Breton sighed before Agda could even understand what was going on. "Steinarius seemed such a nice man!"

Scared by those words, Agda broke free from Colette's arms. She had a lot of questions for her teacher - questions that were in desperate need for an answer.

"What do you mean, Steinarius _seemed_ such a nice man? What happened since I got back to Whiterun? Where is my boyfriend now?"

Trying to stop the hurricane of words coming out of Agda's lips, Colette shushed her.

"After you saw Steinarius' body, you began screaming like mad", she reminded her. "You ran towards him, but one of the Companions stopped you - and when you caught a better glimpse of Steinarius, you passed out. We have kept you sedated ever since".

Annoyed by the discovery, Agda frowned.

"Why did you sedate me? I am a healer and I know how to help my man!"

"Agda, I think you know the answer to that question", Colette said, her voice motherly and soothing. "Danica and her men are working hard to save Steinarius' life. We decided to keep you sedated so that you wouldn't disturb them".

Agda felt outraged by those words.

"Disturb them? I am a healer myself! How can they think..."

"Agda, curing your loved ones is always difficult", the elder mage broke her off. "And believe me when I say that Danica and the others need to be absolutely focused if we want Steinarius to live. I have just come out of his room and things don't look too bright".

"How bad is it?"

Confronted with the piercing gaze of her best pupil, Colette understood that she couldn't keep the truth from her.

"Agda, Steinarius has been through a lot over the last few hours. Someone took all their rage out on him: they hit him, they harmed him with knives and magic, they broke many of his bones. Also, they poisoned him with a substance we still haven't managed to identify. As a result, his heart has stopped beating three times over the last three hours - and we still don't know if he'll make it to tomorrow".

To Agda those words were like a cold shower. Feeling her blood turn into ice, the woman remembered the last images she'd seen before passing out that evening - she remembered the blood covering Steinarius' face, the strange position of his limbs, the look of sympathy in Farkas and Vilkas' eyes. Fighting against her dizziness, the mage fought hard to stand up.

"I need to see him", she told Colette. "I cannot stay here while Steinarius is fighting for his life".

"Agda, dear, I know how you feel", the mage sympathetically told her. "Yet, I think it is not a good idea. Wait until the healers are done and his wounds are dressed".

"You have just said that Steinarius may not make it to tomorrow", Agda replied, a look of stubborness in her brown eyes. "If he dies before the healers are done, I will regret it for the rest of my life".

There was a moment of silence during which Colette carefully analyzed Agda's expression. The girl still looked weak and tired and dizzy as an effect of the spells Farengar had used to keep her sedated, but in her eyes there was a fierceness the elder teacher had never witnessed before.

"Fine", she said with a loud sigh. "You may see your man".

* * *

Despite living in Whiterun for a few weeks, Agda had never visited the interior halls of the Temple of Kynareth. Everything in that place seemed to be calm and soothing: there were candles everywhere, beautiful mosaics on the ground, a soft scent of lavender in the air. The trained eyes of an experienced healer like Agda, however, couldn't be deceived: the Temple of Kynareth was a place for the wounded and the ill - and as such, it was a place of pain and despair.

While approaching the room where Danica and her helpers were tending to Steinarius, Agda came across many people she knew. Lydia, the Companions, Adrianne, even Proventus Avenicci... The whole of Whiterun seemed to have gathered in the temple in order to pray for their fellow citizen to survive. Agda, however, was too focused to notice the way many of those people tried to express their sympathy or to soothe her with words: right then, the young mage could only think of her man.

When the doors to the room where Steinarius was laying slowly creaked open, Agda expected to be overrun by gruesome scenes of death and despair. She was therefore surprised when she noticed how clean and bright and well-kept that place was.

"I couldn't keep her away from here", Colette whispered, thus drawing Danica's attention to herself. The experienced priestess was just one of the many mages inside the room - and Agda was surprised to recognize Farengar Secret-Fire and Arcadia the alchemist among them.

"We have summoned Erandur of Dawnstar too", Danica said while walking towards Agda. The girl was amazed by the way that old priestess seemed to read her mind. "We will need all the help we can get to save the Dragonborn".

Frowning, Agda finally dared looking at the stone bed Steinarius was laying on - and as she did, she felt once again on the verge of fainting.

The prophesized savior of Skyrim was still unconscious. Farengar and Arcadia still hadn't begun dressing his wounds, therefore Agda could immediately realize how bad her man was doing. His face was covered in blood and bruises, especially along his cheeks. His nose was broken, whereas the tip of his right ear seemed to be missing.

"Steinarius has taken quite a lot of blows", Danica carefully informed Agda. Shocked by the many injuries her man had sustained, the mage stood still like a statue. "He has a few broken ribs, broken eye sockets, a broken cheekbone, two broken wrists and a broken collarbone. His legs have been broken too, whereas his chest is full of bruises and burns".

As she listened to those words, Agda took a step towards her man and gently laid a hand on his chest. The skin was cold and slick with blood, whereas his heartbeat seemed worryingly erratic.

"We had to relive his heart three times", Danica said when she noticed the frown on the girl's face. "As well as beating your man, his torturers gave him some weird poison that almost caused his organs to stop working. Luckily enough, Arcadia prepared a strong antidote before the effects of the poison could do their job".

Agda didn't need to ask what ingredients the poison had been made of - the dark edges along the cuts on Steinarius' chest were a common reaction to the mixture of silver and vampire powder werewolves hated so much.

Still frowning, the girl looked at the blanket someone had placed on Steinarius' lower body. Following her gaze, Danica sighed.

"They burned him there too", the healer revealed. "Actually, I think that in the future he might have troubles getting a woman pregnant. That is, if he survives tonight".

Realizing she had been too blunt, the priestess abruptly fell silent. Agda, instead, spoke for the first time since she had entered the room.

"I need some time alone with him", she whispered, her voice feeble and weak. "Please".

Danica made to protest, but something in Agda's expression made her understand that it wasn't the case to argue. Agda was extremely distressed, sure, but she was also one of the best healers of the land - and as such, she was probably the best person who could take care of Steinarius in that moment.

"If you need anything, we'll be in the next room", the priestess kindly told her.

Nodding, Agda waited until the other mages left her alone with her man, then she began cleansing his body from the blood, washing his hair, dressing his wounds. When she was done, the girl sat down and thought once again of all the injuries her man had sustained. She thought of his broken limbs, of his battered torso, of his mutilated ear; she thought of the way she had ignored Delphine and Vigdis' warnings, of the way she had kept the danger hidden from him, of the way she'd drawn Elenwen's hatred to herself by kicking her out of the peace treaty in High Hrotghar - and as she did, Agda couldn't help but repeat the same damned words over and over in her mind.

 _It is all my fault_.


	73. Family Portrait

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, here I am with the usual "one chapter every two weeks" update. This is a fill-in instalment, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway. Before I begin, however, let me thank all those of you who have recently taken the time to comment on my work.**

 **The first _thank you_ of the day goes to my dear ShpperofTrashyShips for their continuous support. Agda and Stein (or "Agdstein", as Elspeth once called them) are back together, but someone may try to tear them apart already in this chapter...**

 **Speaking of Elspeth, don't worry for reading chapter 71 weeks after it got posted. To me, the important thing is to know that I'm not boring you ahah! Yeah, I must admit I'm a rather evil writer. Just think that at the beginning I meant this final part of the story to be even sadder and angstier...**

 **As for the other reviews, I must thank BarricadesDemon216 for their interesting comments on the first arc of my fanfic. Hopefully you will continue reading it!**

 **As usual, MeanE's review got me laughing and thinking. Yes, Agda did mention selling her soul to a Daedra in order to retrieve the memories of just one night - and yes, the girl has been making quite a lot of silly decisions as of late. The consequences of her actions are definitely making her pay for that!**

 **The last huge _thank you_ of the day goes to Valtieri. I swear that in the future I will try and be nicer to my characters - first, however, I must finish this story. Also, thank you for your comments about my writing** **. Speaking of which: if some of you have some general advice for me, I'd be very glad to hear it. I enjoy writing and I'd like to get better at it, so constructive criticism is always welcomed.**

 **As I already mentioned, this new chapter will build a bridge between the angst of the previous instalments and the future development of the story. Also, it introduces a rather important character. So read, e** **njoy and let me know what you think.**

 **Have a nice week!**

* * *

 **5th of Hearthfire, 4E 204**

Agda looked at the motionless body of the Dragonborn. It had been three days since Steinarius had been found on the road between Whiterun and Valtheim - and since then the Imperial had been laying consciousless in his small room inside the Temple of Kynareth.

Sighing, Agda tenderly ran her hand up and down Steinarius' arm. It was early morning and all the other healers were enjoying a few hours of rest. Agda, however, couldn't sleep with the awareness that her loved one was still fighting for his life. Also, the discoveries from the previous hours were making it impossible for her to relax.

Upon seeing Steinarius' battered body for the first time, Agda had fainted because of the shock. The mage still felt embarassed by that reaction and she felt even more embarassed every time the other healers treated her like a weak porcelain doll that needed to be protected at all costs.

"I'm a healer too, for Shor's beard!", she had shouted to Colette no less than thirty minutes earlier. "And even if it's my husband who needs to be cured, I will do my job without problems!"

The other mage had been surprised by Agda's reaction - and she had been rather surprised by the improper use of the word 'husband'. For that reason she had taken the unwise decision to ask Agda whether she and the Dragonborn had got married during her long absence from Winterhold. That question had been enough for Agda to snap once again.

"Do you really think that I would elope to Riften without telling anyone? For Oblivion's sake, who do you take me for?", she had screamed in disbelief.

Surprised by that reaction, Colette had blamed Agda's use of the word 'husband' on a slip of the tongue - Agda, instead, had blamed it on the discoveries the Companions had made while exploring the cave where Steinarius had been tortured. The warriors of Jorrvaskr had been surprised to find the corpses of warriors dressed as Legionnaires and Stormcloaks - and they had been even more surprised to find the corpses of a few Thalmor too. Agda, however, had remained completely speechless only when confronted with the jewels Farkas had found in Steinarius' blood-marred clothes.

"I think they were meant for you", the bulky warrior had shyly stated - and upon seeing the Amulet of Mara and the beautiful ring Steinarius had smithed for her, Agda had been forced to flee to the most hidden room of the Temple of Kynareth and burst into a desperate cry. She didn't deserve a man like the Dragonborn - not after all he'd been through because of her.

Unfortunately for Agda, things had got even worse when she'd found a small document hidden in Steinarius' ragged shirt. The parchment was full of confused sentences, most of which had been clumsily deleted - yet, their aim was perfectly clear. Steinarius meant to ask Agda to marry him - and in that small piece of parchment he had tried to outline a sentence that could help him pop the question in an original way.

 _"Slaughterfish have teeth, I have thee, I'll be as happy as a man can be if you decide to marry me"_ was the result of the man's attempts at poetry - and after coming up with that masterpiece, the Dragonborn had written a few ideas to make his proposal simply unforgettable.

 _HOW TO ASK AGDA TO MARRY ME_ , he had written in capital letters on the back of the parchment.

 _Step 1: ask Balgruuf to lend me the terrace of Dragonsreach for one night._

 _Step 2: ask Hulda to prepare dinner for two. Agda hates cabbages, keep that in mind._

 _Step 3: learn the slaughterfish line by heart, make sure not to forget the ring home; put on best clothes, ask Adrianne if women like the parfume Belethor sells in his shop. If not, think of an alternative._

 _Step 4: try to act as though everything was normal until the sun begins to set._

 _Step 5: pretend Balgruuf has summoned us to Dragonsreach, lead Agda to the terrace and have a romantic dinner together. Note to self: Better ask Lydia to make sure no one lurks around while we're there._

 _Step 6: drink wine. Lots of it. It will help find the guts to pop the question._

 _Step 7: take Agda's hand, lead her to the roof of Dragonsreach. Note 1: Might have to review step 6 in order to be able to face the staircase. Note 2: Find a way to sneak up there in the afternoon and prepare a bedroll in the likely event things go particularly well._

 _Step 8: admire the landscape until we get bored. Avoid any mention of Alduin. Drink more wine._

 _Step 9: act as though you had just taken an arrow to the knee (might have to ask a guard for advice). Pop the question and show the ring._

 _Step 10: Option 1 = if she says yes, make love to your soon-to-be-wife and book the Temple of Mara for the wedding (yay!)._ _Option 2 = if she says no, take it like a man and go crying in the Underforge._

Under other circumstances, that goofy plan would have caused Agda to burst into laughter. Unfortunately, with Steinarius fighting for his life because of her, that list had caused the young Nord to feel even worse than before.

There was a low whimper and Agda was immediately snapped out of her sad thoughts. The girl immediately approached Steinarius and laid a hand on his forehead. Under the bandages his skin was cold and sweaty as an effect of the fight between the poison used by the torturers and the potions prepared by Danica and the other healers; yet, the mage was pleased to notice that the Dragonborn's complexion and temperature seemed slightly better than before.

As an effect of Agda's proximity, Steinarius apparently calmed down. Confronted with his seemingly peaceful expression, the girl thought of the letter she had sent to him a few days before he was tortured. Had the courier reached the Dragonborn on time...

Agda was forced to abandon those thoughts when the door to the room slowly creaked open. When she turned around, the young mage was surprised to find herself face-to-face with the leader of the Companions.

"It's six in the morning, you should be sleeping", Kodlak Whitemane told her as a greeting. Despite that direct approach, in the silver eyes of that wise man Agda could see a mixture of tenderness and sadness. "I can watch over him for you, if you want".

Confronted with that offer, Agda shook her head. She knew she needed rest and she also knew that she probably looked like a ghost. Yet, there was no way she could abandon Steinarius' bedside.

"We can watch over him together", she told Kodlak, a determined look in her brown eyes.

Knowing that the girl wouldn't take _no_ for an answer, the old warrior smiled and sat down beside her.

"Farkas and Vilkas will be here soon, and so will Aela, Skjor and the others", he said. "We haven't forgotten that Steinarius was once part of our pack".

As Kodlak said those words, his eyes found Agda's. The girl hadn't missed the use of the word 'pack' - and now, confronted with the stern gaze of that wise warrior, she suddenly felt unease.

"You know what we are, Agda", Kodlak continued, his eyes never leaving the mage's face. "Steinarius never admitted it, but I think it's obvious that he told you of our secret. Had he not, he would have never thought of you as a possible life companion".

Surprised by the way Kodlak had faced that topic without any preamble, Agda frowned. She had no idea what to do: deny the truth or admit that she knew that the Companions were werewolves?

Eventually, the girl went for the first option.

"It was an accident", she said, her voice low but firm. "Steinarius had to turn into a werewolf to save my life. That's how I found out".

"And he obviously told you that all the Companions are werewolves", Kodlak commented with a low chuckle. "The boy has never been good at hiding the truth from people. You know, it's difficult for werewolves to find partners that do not share this... _gift_ with them. Actually, I'd say it is almost impossible".

Agda didn't miss the way Kodlak said the word 'gift' - yet, in that moment she had other matters on her mind.

"If you are implying that we and Steinarius cannot be happy together just because..."

Kodlak was quick to stop Agda with a gesture.

"I'd never say anything like that, Agda. Actually, I think you and Steinarius may become the happiest couple of Skyrim. You know his strengths, you know his secrets, you know his weaknesses - and I'm pretty sure he knows you very well too. The boy brightens up when he speaks of you and is ready to settle down and be a loving husband and a protective father. That is, if he survives his injuries".

Before Agda could say anything, Kodlak started speaking once again.

"There is one thing you need to know about the day he was tortured, Agda", the old man frowned. "One thing I'm telling you just because you are a trustworthy person who already knows our secret. Vilkas and Farkas were the ones to investigate the place where Steinarius had been tortured - and once there, they noticed the traces left by a werewolf. Also, a farmer claims he's seen a huge black wolf shortly before finding Steinarius in the middle of the road. I thought you might like to know it".

As she listened to these words, Agda realized that her heart had just skipped a beat. She only knew one black werewolf - one black werewolf who deeply cared about Steinarius, used special potions to prevent other creatures from smelling her scent and perfectly knew that the Dragonborn was about to be tortured.

Sighing, Agda understood the truth.

She owed Vigdis the life of her man.

* * *

During the following days the news of the Dragonborn's injury spread throughout Tamriel. Agda had never really thought about all the people Steinarius had helped over the course of his life, just like she had never really thought about the love the people of Skyrim nourished for their prophesized savior; when dozens and dozens of strangers came to Whiterun to see Steinarius and pray for his quick recovery, however, the girl realized that her man was probably the most respected person in the whole country.

As predictable, the first ones to visit the poor Imperial were the people of Whiterun. Adrianne and her husband had insisted on seeing Steinarius right after his arrival in the city, just like Kodlak Whitemane and Jarl Balgruuf. Yet, Agda had never expected to meet people like Amren, Carlotta or Fralia Greymane at her man's bedside.

"He helped me when my son got kidnapped by the Thalmor", the old woman revealed when confronted with her surprise.

"He retrieved an old sword for me", Amren added.

"And he made it clear to Mikael that I wasn't going to marry him", Carlotta concluded.

Soon enough, also the people of Riverwood came to pay their respects - and so did the inhabitants of more distant cities. Agda was particularly shocked when entire groups of legionnaires came to visit their former Captain - and she was even more shocked when Elisif and Ulfric decided to reach Whiterun together just in order to show how much they cared for the Dragonborn. Agda knew that their decision was a political one - after all, the Legion claimed that Steinarius had been harmed by the rebels, whereas the rebels stated the contrary. Yet, she was sincerely surprised to see Elisif break into tears at Steinarius' bedside and Ulfric mutter a curse under his breathe after seeing the injuries on the Imperial's body.

Even Eorlund Graymane and the Companions often visited Steinarius - and on a glorious day even Erik, J'zhargo, Esbern and Faendal from the Blades decided to show up. For Agda, however, the most important visit was Adaeze and Hadvar's.

The two soldiers reached Whiterun at the end of a tiring and rainy day. Hadvar's beard had got even longer and his complexion even paler, whereas Adaeze looked particularly worn out and weak; yet, despite their long journey from Dawnstar, the two immediately decided to visit the Temple of Kynareth and offer Agda some solace - and reunited with her best friend, the Archmage of Winterhold couldn't help but break into a desperate cry and reveal her many of the secrets behind Steinarius' injury. Agda told Adaeze of Delphine's warning, she told her of the Thalmor and their fake Dragonborn, she even told her of her deal with Hermaeus Mora - but most of all, Agda told Adaeze about her meeting with Vigdis and her feelings of guilt.

The Redguard needed a few moments to recover from all those news; then, however, she quickly took Agda's defense. The two girls were in the calmness of Breezehome, where Agda had just been forced to take a warm bath. Since the building was empty, Adaeze was free to shout as loud as she wished.

"Agda of Anvil, it is not your fault if Steinarius got tortured!", she veehemently told her best friend. "If Vigdis really knew that he was about to get hurt, she should have warned _him_ , not you! Also, she should have tried to kill his torturers _before_ they could harm him, not afterwards!"

Regardless of Adaeze's words, Agda shook her head.

"Adaeze, it was Vigdis who saved Steinarius after he was tortured", she revealed.

Confronted with that discovery, Adaeze blinked in confusion.

"How can you be sure?"

"Kodlak Whitemane visited me the other day and gave me a few clues regarding a warrior that was seen with Steinarius shortly before a farmer found him on the road between Whiterun and Valtheim", Agda said. " He didn't mention Vigdis openly, but I think he wanted me to understand that she's still alive".

Adaeze welcomed those words with a shrug.

"I don't see why the fact Vigdis is still alive should influence your existence".

"Had it not been for Vigdis, I would have died in the Sea of Ghosts", Agda replied with a tragic sigh. "And had it not been for her, Steinarius would be dead too. How can I live a quiet life while knowing that all my happiness depends on that woman?"

Surprisingly for Agda, Adaeze didn't share her tragic opinion of those events.

"Agda, Vigdis saved your life and your man's because she was in the mood to protect you. Actually, I think she feels guilty for the way she dumped Steinarius all those years ago. Maybe she's trying to make it up for it by looking after you both. I don't see what's wrong with it".

Irritated by her friend's lack of understanding, Agda nervously shook her head.

"Before Steinarius was tortured, he wanted to marry me", she confessed. "The thing is, he fell in love with me just because he thinks that Vigdis is dead and that he can no longer have her. Unfortunately, this is not the case. So tell me, Adaeze: how can I be happy and marry Steinarius all while knowing that our relationship is based on a lie?"

"Agda, Steinarius is in love with you!", the Redguard protested. "Vigdis might have saved his life, fine, but this doesn't change anything!"

"Well, to me it does, especially if you consider that it's all my fault if he got tortured. I knew it was about to happen, I damn well knew it, and what did I do? I simply wrote him a letter and went on doing my duty up in Winterhold. What kind of person behaves like that?"

Confronted with that revelation, Adaeze was speechless for a second. Then, however, the Redguard was quick to reassure her friend.

"Agda, you were simply unlucky", she said while laying a hand on her friend's knee. "Had that letter reached Steinarius, he wouldn't have been tortured at all. You simply had a lot of bad luck, girl - don't be too hard for yourself just because a courier didn't do his job. Also, now you have more urgent matters to take care of".

Agda tried to protest, but Adaeze stopped her with a gesture.

"You can spend a lifetime criticizing yourself for what you did or what you didn't, Agda of Anvil, but that won't change anything", she sternly said. "You cannot change the past: the only thing you can change is the future - which is why you should stop crying over yourself, leave this bloody room and go stand by your man until he finally opens his eyes again. Oh, and when he does, make sure to plant a passionate kiss on his lips and not to mention Vigdis for the next hundred years. That woman is Steinarius' past, sure, but you are his present and his future; also, you are the best healer of the land - and if we want the Dragonborn to survive his injuries, we need you to be there for him. Until he regains consciousness, all of your troubles mean nothing at all".

For a moment Agda felt the urge to deny the truth in Adaeze's words; then, however, she realized that her friend was right. There was no use in feeling sorry for herself and for Steinarius - if she wanted her dreams to come true, Agda needed to forget about Vigdis and do the best she could to save her man.

* * *

A week after being tortured, Steinarius was still fighting for his life. His overall condition had got slightly better, sure, but the healers were still skeptical about his recovery - and for that reason two very important people decided to travel to Whiterun in order to stand by his side.

Agda had never really thought about Steinarius' parents. Sure, she knew that his father was a former Legate of the Legion and that his mother was a former priestess of Stendarr, but she'd never really felt any interest towards them. When Aburius and Lucretia Crepusculus turned up at the gates of Whiterun on a sunny morning, however, the girl realized something she'd never really been aware of. Not only was Steinarius the son of two very rich parents - he was also the son of a woman whose personality definitely resembled a Hargraven's. Sadly enough, for some reason Agda felt the innate need to please said Hargraven.

To tell the truth, Lucretia Galantis was one of the most beautiful women Agda had ever seen. Although she was in her early sixties, her skin was as perfect as teenager's. She had long, white hair that cascaded all over her back, whereas her complexion was incredibly pale, thus giving her a somewhat noble and distant appearance. Lucretia's eyes were as blue as the sky of Solitude on a summer day, whereas her figure was tall and agile. She wore beautiful clothes made of expensive silk and she seemed completely disgusted by Whiterun, by its inhabitants and by everything connected to it.

Unlike his wife, Aburius Crepusculus looked like a kind and friendly man. He was short and bulky, yet Agda immediately noticed that Steinarius and his father shared the same hooked nose, the same singsong accent, the same messy hair - but most of all, the two of them shared the same placid grey eyes.

Agda was by Steinarius' side when she first came across the two people who might become her parents-in-law - and she was completely shocked by the way Lucretia and Aburius reacted to their son's injuries. The former soldier murmured something under his breath and softly stroked his son's hair; the woman instead covered her mouth with her hands and stood still for a second; then, to everyone's dismay, she began shouting orders like an obsessed.

"This is my son, MY SON, you dirty peasant!", she screamed at Danica. "How dare you leave him in this room with just two windows? And you, you bulky barbarian!", she added while turning to a healer of Nordic origins. "What are you looking at? Go get my boy some decent silk blankets, not these woolen horrors! And you..."

Within a couple of minutes, Lucretia had managed to insult every single person who was inside the Temple of Kynareth with her. While looking at her, Agda was torn by mixed feelings.

A part of her couldn't help but think that Steinarius' mother was the most hateful creature she'd ever met; another part, however, tried to explain the reasons behind the woman's behavior.

 _It must be hard to devote your whole life to the Divines just to get at the age of 60 and receive the news that your only son has been tortured by some fanatics and may die because of his injuries_ , that part of Agda's mind whispered - and for a moment, the mage believed the feeble voice in her head to be right. Then, however, Lucretia turned towards her.

"And you! I don't need to ask who you are, Nord", the woman said while pointing her finger at Agda. Sensing that tragedy was about to strike, her husband tried to intervene, but to no avail.

"Leave me alone, Aburius!", Lucretia screamed when her man made to shush her. A moment later, the former priestess spoke to Agda once again. "I know my son well enough to know that his taste in women is absolutely trivial and irrational - and you clearly are one of those Nordic, brainless peasants he enjoys seducing so much, girl. Dark eyes, messy hair, baggy robes... Yes, you must be Agda Seafarer. The best healer of the land, isn't it? Well, do me a favor, girl: you've been around Steinarius for more than a week and he still hasn't recovered. I guess it's high time you left and allowed me to call a professionist".

Agda made to reply, but Lucretia resumed screaming once again.

"I'm not used to repeating the same words twice! You have no right on my son, so get out of this room and never show your face again!"

As anger boiled inside her, Agda opened her mouth to insult the woman who was treating her so poorly. Adrianne, however, was quick to grab her by the elbow and lead her outside the room. The blacksmith had heard of Lucretia's arrival in Whiterun and, being well acquainted with the woman's personality, she'd immediately run to the Temply of Kynareth in order to save Agda from her future mother-in-law.

"There's no point in arguing with a maniac, isn't it?", Adrianne asked after Lucretia had slammed closed the door to her son's chamber.

Agda didn't even find the strength to reply. She was shocked, she was angry, she was outraged; but most of all, she was fully aware of one thing.

Lucretia Galantis was the most hateful creature of Nirn.


	74. Lean on me

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, after the longest break ever, I have finally started writing again. The last few months have been absolutely hectic, but fear not: I have already outlined the rest of this story, so there is no risk for me to run out of inspiration. Free time for writing, unfortunately, is a completely different matter... Luckily enough, I seem to have got over my writing block, so here I am with a new chapter. Also, yesterday I published my first Dragon-Age fic on this website - if you're curious, you can find it on my profile.**

 **Before I start, I thank all those who have been reading my story despite the lack of updates. Also, I thank all those wonderful people who left a review on chapter 73 and BarricadesDemon216 for leaving a few comments about earlier instalments. I love reading readers' opinion about the first part of this fic, so keep them coming!**

 **As for LadyBuggin's review, thank you for letting me know that the new chapters of your story are out. I'll definitely take a look at them! Also, I'm glad you enjoyed Steinarius' list. As ShpperofTrashyShips underlined, the current situation is very sad, so I needed something to make it look brighter - and Stein's imagination was perfect for it. And yes, Stein's mum is creepy indeed.**

 **Last but not least, a huge "thank you" to Elspeth: Stein does have a very scary mother, just like Agda's! Also, glad you liked the fact that people came to see their poor Dragonborn. I think it's the least he deserves after getting so badly injured while trying to save the world!**

 **As for today's chapter, here it finally is: Steinarius is fighting for his life after being tortured by the Thalmor, his mum won't let anyone see him, Agda is feeling guilty and powerless for ignoring Vigdis and Delphine's warnings. What else could go wrong? Let's find out!**

* * *

As she gently caressed Steinarius' hair, Agda let out a loud yawn. It was three o'clock in the morning and the girl couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so tired and weak and dizzy; yet, she was keen on spending some time with her man while Lucretia Galantis was asleep.

Upon meeting her future mother-in-law, Agda had tried to find a reason for her snobbish behavior; a week later, however, the young Nord had realized that there were no excuses for Lucretia's rudeness. The woman had insisted on curing her son by filling his room with many different amulets, but soon enough she had realized that prayers and jewels couldn't help Steinarius' recovery; for that reason she had been forced to rely on Danica and the other healers again - and for that reason she had taken all her rage out on Agda.

 _You are the reason why my son went to Riften and you are the reason why he got hurt so badly!_ , the former priestess had shouted during a particularly heated fight with the mage. _You shouldn't have left him alone and you shouldn't show your face around here for the rest of this Era! I hate you, Agda of Anvil, and I hope you will never spend time with Steinarius again!_

After shouting those evil words, Lucretia had ordered two of her servants to to prevent Agda from visiting Steinarius. Luckily enough, those two shy Imperials were very sympathethic towards the girl and made everything they could to let her spend a few hours with her man every time Lucretia was asleep.

Sighing, Agda thought once again of her future mother-in-law. Although no one could imagine it, it was truly her fault if Steinarius had been tortured - and for this reason the mage hadn't protested against Lucretia's decision to ban from her the Dragonborn's room. To say it all, in those days not only did Agda feel guilty every time she looked at her man: she also felt completely useless because her feelings of guilt caused her to burst into tears every time she thought about his injuries - and a healer who couldn't look at their patients without crying was not exactly that helpful.

There was a low whimper as Steinarius frowned in his sleep. Agda made to shush him, then she gently kissed his cheekbone. The man was slowly getting better, sure, but no one knew whether his recovery would be complete; considering that the safety of Skyrim depended on his health, the whole country was very worried about that fact.

The sound of a door creaking open caused Agda to frown in worry. Fearing Lucretia might be paying her son a visit, the girl made to cast an invisibility spell. Before she could do it, however, she felt a cold hand on her mouth and the tip of a dagger against her neck.

"You're always too slow, Agda of Anvil".

When she recognized that female voice, Agda stiffened. Vigdis had seemingly managed to walk past the guards at the entrance of the Temple thanks to an invisibility spell - and if her previous encounters with the thief meant anything, Agda knew that she was about to be fed a potion that would drain her magicka for the rest of the night.

Just like the Archmage had predicted, the other woman immediately pushed a small vial into her hand. As Agda gulped its content, Vigdis closed the door of the room and waited until her invisibility potion finally wore off.

Agda was surprised by the rough appearance of the thief: Vigdis was incredibly pale, her hair were tousled, her eyes were surrounded by dark circles. Moreover, she was limping more than usual. Before the mage could say anything, the other woman suddenly started insulting her.

"You!", the thief hissed with a tone full of rage and disgust. "You didn't believe my warning just because you are too proud to take advice from a thief, right? Well, see where your pride got you! Aren't you ashamed? I told you Steinarius was in danger and what did you do? You gave your soul to a Daedra just because you didn't trust me and you sent a normal letter to warn your man! _A letter_ , for Talos' sake! Had it not been for me, Steinarius would have died for good!"

Those words caused Agda to frown. She had made a mistake in not trusting Vigdis and Delphine's warnings, but the other women had their fair share of guilt too. Also, given her current situation, the girl was in no mood for a fight.

"Don't tell me I should be ashamed, Vigdis", she replied, tiredness well evident in her voice. "If your warning was so serious, you should have talked to Steinarius, not to me. Yet, you chose the easiest option because you didn't want to be confronted with all the pain you caused him in the past. You are definitely as guilty as I am".

Those words caused Vigdis to hiss in anger. Luckily enough, the guards at the entrance of the Temple were asleep, so there was no risk for her and Agda to be heard as long as they kept their voices down.

"Don't you dare blame me for all of this, Agda! Steinarius is your man now, not mine: it was your job to keep him safe".

"Just like it was my job to pick up the pieces after you broke his heart, right?", Agda sighed. "You are a coward, Vigdis, a coward who is ashamed of her choices and cannot face her past. This is why you didn't talk to Steinarius, isn't it?"

"Are you really so stupid not to realize it, Agda?", the thief cried out in response. "There's a very simple reason why I warned _you_ instead of Steinarius: you two are happy together and I didn't want to ruin everything".

Confronted with that reply, Agda shook her head. If Vigdis had come all the way from Riften just to make her feel guilty, she was in for a bad surprise.

"You couldn't ruin anything, Vigdis", Agda coldly replied. "Steinarius wants to marry me, so there is no risk for him to change his mind about you. Had you wanted him to be more careful, you should have spoken to him directly".

"Steinarius may not be in love with me anymore, Agda, but my feelings for him haven't changed", the thief unexpectedly revealed. "I still love him, which is why I've been trying to keep both of you safe for years now. You will forgive me for being such a selfless bitch".

Confronted with those words, Agda felt as though time had just stopped. The desire to keep her safe, the choice to abandon her on the steps of Nightcaller Temple rather than meeting Steinarius, the habit of stalking the Dragonborn while he was still in the army... Vigdis had done all of that because she was still in love with Steinarius and because she wanted her man to be happy without him.

While Agda was still struggling with that discovery, Vigdis resumed speaking.

"What do you think happened in that cave, Agda? Do you really think that the Thalmor stopped torturing Steinarius just because they were tired? Do you really think the people in there began fighting each other and eventually forgot about the man they were about to kill? I'll tell you the truth, girl: I received word from the Blades that Steinarius had left Whiterun without telling anyone about his whereabouts. I got to the city as soon as I could and started looking for him in my beastform. Luckily enough, I found him while he was still breathing and I killed all the people who were in the cave with him. He is still alive just because _I_ intervened, Agda - and a _thank you_ would be pretty welcome now".

To Agda, those words felt like a slap in the face. Not only had she missed the importance of Delphine and Vigdis' warnings - just like she feared, she also owed the thief for saving the life of her man.

There was a long moment of silence, then Vigdis sighed and ran a hand over her tired face, a gesture she had in common with Steinarius.

"I'll tell you what, Agda: I'm sorry I'm not as heartless as you think, but now it's time to move on and work together in order to make it up for our mistakes. I would really like to kill you for ignoring my warning, sure, but Steinarius will need you once he regains consciousness - and to me, his wellbeing is the most important thing. For this reason I will spare your life - and for this reason I have come here. I don't want you to keep thinking about the past - I want you to acknowledge your mistakes and be ready to face the next challenges.

"The Thalmor have already tried to kill Steinarius once, but I prevented them from reaching their goal. Unfortunately, they will give it another try soon. I know that Elenwen has already offered one of his best healers to Steinarius' mother and I know that Lucretia would like to accept her help. Cornelius doesn't agree, but if their son doesnt get better any soon, he will be transported to Solitude and cured there. This is why I need you to get over what happened and focus on healing your man. Right now, we cannot allow a Thalmor to be close to him.

"There are other two things I need to tell you, Agda. First, Steinarius is in danger as long as Alduin lives. For this reason he must recover soon. Also, your man is in danger as long as the Thalmor can count on their 'Altmer Dragonborn', as they call it. This is why Delphine and I would like to kidnap that poor girl from Northwatch Keep in the coming weeks - and to do that, we may need your help".

Agda's eyes widened at the sudden revelation.

"How do you know that the fake Dragonborn is in Northwatch Keep?"

"We haven't been idle, Agda: after warning you that Steinarius was in danger, Delphine and I believed you would keep him safe. This is why we focused on killing the fake Dragonborn rather than protecting your man. Unfortunately, Elenwen's fake Dragonborn is but a girl of fourteen who has no idea of her powers. Delphine and I may be ruthless, but we don't kill innocents. We have gathered information about that little Altmer and we would like to offer her a life with the Blades. Elenwen treats her poorly, so we believe that Laenara will accept our offer".

Agda was surprised by that discovery. She thought Vigdis and Delphine to be cowards because they had done nothing to protect Steinarius from his enemies, but apparently she'd been wrong all along.

"There is also another thing Delphine is taking care of right now", Vigdis unexpectedly added. "She's trying to track the letter you sent to Steinarius. If Lucretia discovers that you knew about the danger and did nothing to protect her son, she'll become even meaner".

Agda nodded in confusion. She disliked Delphine and Vigdis for many things, but it looked as though now they were going to become her most important helpers in keeping Steinarius safe.

There was a moment of silence and Vigdis slowly shook her head. At that point, for the first time since she'd entered the room, the thief finally seemed to acknowledge Steinarius' presence. The dark-haired woman approached his bed and carefully studied his broken nose, his partially mutilated ear, his bloody lips and his ruined features; she murmured something under her breath, then she peeled the blankets off his body with a tenderness Agda had never witnessed before. At last, the thief silently examined Steinarius' torso and gently ran the tips of her fingers along the hem of his bandages.

Vigdis was reunited with her former lover for the first time in years and Agda could clearly see the effects that that meeting was having on the thief. Her features looked sweeter than usual, her black eyes weren't cold and distant anymore, her movements were slow and precise. In few words, everything in her attitude pointed at the strong bond that had once connected her to the Dragonborn. There was worry on her face, and together with worry Agda could see sadness and the faint shadow of love.

"Whoever did this you, they won't get away with it...", Vigdis whispered while slowly caressing Steinarius' jaw. A moment later, the thief unexpectedly looked Agda in the eyes. "Whoever did this to you, Agda and I will avenge you", she added.

Confronted with the rage and the determination in the black eyes of the thief, Agda couldn't help but nod.

She'd finally found an ally she could trust.

* * *

After her unexpected meeting with Vigdis, Agda found the concentration she needed to cure her man. Despite Lucretia's protests, the young Archmage spent her nights by Steinarius' bedside, whereas during the day she walked through the plains of Whiterun in order to collect alchemy ingredients. Everyone was surprised by her new attitude towards the tragedy that had struck her and many people thanked her for the efforts she was making to save the Dragonborn from death. Luckily enough, among those people there was also Steinarius' father.

Aburius Crepusculus was a very popular man in Cyrodiil. A former Legate of the Legion, he was considered a just and kind man even by those who didn't appreciate the Empire. He had reacted to his son's injuries with a surprising calmness and, unlike his wife, he was doing his best to help the healers do their job. One morning at dawn, Aburius reached Agda at the Skyforge, her favourite place to rest after a long night at Steinarius' bedside.

"I'm sorry my wife doesn't allow you in the Temple during the day", he told her without any further preamble. "This has been a bad blow to her and she's not thinking rationally".

Agda didn't know what to make of that apology. Steinarius' father was a very popular man and until then she'd never spoken much to him.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here at this time of the day, right, Agda?", he said with a smile. "You should know that the Skyforge has always been my favourite place in Whiterun. When Steinarius was little, we'd usually climb to the top of the stone eagle and have breakfast there. Lucretia hated me for doing that".

Aburius smirked and Agda couldn't help but notice the similarities between him and his son. Both of them had the same grey eyes - also, both of them had the same warm smile and the same singsong accent.

"This morning, however, I'm not here to revive the past. I did bring you breakfast, don't get me wrong", Aburius added while pointing at a small package he had in his hand, "but my main goal today is to express my gratitude to you. Lucretia is being harsh on you, but your love for Steinarius is stronger than my wife's maddening ideas. You clearly adore my son and I have the feeling you'll live a long and happy life together. He deserves it - and so do you, little one".

Agda was surprised by those words, and she was even more surprised when Aburius goofily pinched her cheek. She made to thank him for his kindness, but she fell silent when she noticed a healer running towards her.

"Archmage, the Dragonborn is getting better! He's repeating your name and we think he may regain consciousness soon! Danica thinks you should be there and Lucretia Galantis agrees!"

Feeling as though her heart had just skipped a beat, Agda exchanged a brief look with Aburius. The man smiled at her, then gestured for her to start running - and run she did.

If her man was about to regain consciousness, she wanted to be there for him.


	75. Hurt

**My dear readers,**

 **here I am with a new instalment. It was good to be back after my writer's block - and it was even better to know that you are putting up with my delays and are still reading my story. Your support means a lot to me!**

 **It was great for me to be back - and it was even greater to read your kind remarks on my story.**

 **As for MeanE, I must admit that your reviews always make me laugh out loud. I missed your witty comments! And yes, luckily enough Vigdis is there to save Agda and Stein every time they get into troubles.**

 **I was very glad to read from Shipperoftrashyships too. Glad you enjoyed the small Agda/Aburius and Agda /Vigdis dialogues!**

 **As for Valtieri, I loved your two reviews. Yes, Stein's mother *may* have a heart of gold. Actually, I think she'd make a great couple with Agda's mother! Also, glad you now consider Vigdis to be trustworty. And yes, all the titles of my chapter are references to songs, especially by Muse!**

 **Last but not least, a huge _thank you_ to Elspeth: Agsarius had me laugh so hard, it sounds like the name of a dinosaur! Agdstein, as you already suggested, is probably a better option ;) **

**This is a bridge-chapter where we see the troubles that affect poor Steinarius from up-close. Fasten your seatbelt, because from the next instalment things will be moving at a much more hectic pace!**

 **Thank you for reading and enjoy!**

* * *

 **20th of Hearthfire, 4E 204**

 _Steinarius was enjoying a beautiful summer evening on the shores of Lake Ilinalta. A soft breeze was blowing from the mountains, whereas birds were singing from the nearby trees. Smiling, the man laid down on a rock and closed his eyes. He had spent the whole day working at the forge of his newly built house and was looking forward to spending a peaceful night in his comfortable manor._

 _There was the soft shuffling of bare feet on fresh grass and Steinarius' eyes immediately snapped open. The man looked to his right, then he fondly smiled when he noticed that Agda was approaching. His wife looked absolutely stunning in her favourite white dress._

 _"Dinner's ready", she proudly announced as she sat down next to Steinarius. "I cooked Horker Stew just for you, honey. You did have a hard day at the house, hitting things with a hammer and helping our Steward with the new horse"._

 _Steinarius chuckled at that description of his daily tasks, then he took Agda's hand in his._

 _"And you had a stressful day in Riverwood, helping Adaeze with her kid and looking after Dagmar at the same time"._

 _Agda shrugged at that._

 _"Luckily for me, the kids aren't much trouble. Adaeze' son is just like her husband: he sleeps, smiles, eats and never complains. He's even sweeter than Hadvar! Dagmar, instead, played for the whole afternoon with the new doll you gave her. Now she's sleeping like a log under Lydia's watch"._

 _Steinarius grinned, then he jokefully blinked his eye at Agda._

 _"You know, our little girl is lucky to have a father like me: not all Imperials are that good at building toys for their daughters"._

 _"And you are lucky to have a woman like me", Agda cheekily replied. "Not all Nords spend their days looking after their children and cooking for their husbands"._

 _"I am a lucky man indeed", the Dragonborn affectionately admitted. "And speaking of luck... it would be too much to ask you to bring me a bowl of stew here on the shore, wouldn't it? I love spending time here after a hard day at the forge. And besides, since Dagmar is asleep and you are looking incredibly hot and lovely and beautiful..."_

 _Agda scoffed at the light suggestion Steinarius had just made._

 _"Stein, if you want me to get undressed in the least private place of Skyrim, with hunters passing by every two seconds, you are damn well wr..."_

 _By the time Agda could finish the sentence, Steinarius had already sat up and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. The mage tried to protest, but eventually she gave in and sagged in the arms of her husband. They made love calmly, sweetly, reveling in the close contact of their bodies and enjoying the time they could spend together while their daughter was asleep. Steinarius caressed the stretch marks on Agda's belly, while the mage traced the lines of the scars left by Alduin during the final battle between them. A few minutes later, the two of them fell asleep, the moon shining over their bodies and the waters of the lake lulling them with their voice._

* * *

 _Steinarius awoke two hours later to the smell of burnt wood. He blinked twice in the attempt of taking in his surroundings, then he remembered falling asleep by the lake together with Agda. Now the mage was nowhere to be seen and thick smoke was rising from a hidden point in the forest. As soon as he realized that, the Dragonborn felt a cold shiver run down his spine: his house - the same house where his daughter was asleep - had seemingly caught fire._

 _Running like mad, the man abandoned the shores of the lake and tried to reach his manor. His horses were neighing in despair, whereas Lydia was looking at the burning building, her eyes full of tears and her face as pale as a ghost's._

 _"Where is Dagmar?", Steinarius screamed while approaching the woman. "Lydia, where is my daughter? And where is my wife?"_

 _The huskarl shook her head, then she burst into a desperate cry._

 _"I couldn't save her, Steinarius!", she shouted. "I just couldn't! When Agda set the house on fire, I barely made it out with my life!"_

 _For a moment, Steinarius thought he had misheard the words._

 _"Agda? Lydia, what are you talking about?"_

 _The huskarl shook her head again, then spoke between her sobs._

 _"It was Agda, Stein", she said, tears running down her face. "She turned up in Dagmar's room and..."_

 _Before Lydia could finish the sentence, a figure emerged from the woods._

 _"Are you talking about me, dear?"_

 _Surprised by the sudden appearance of his wife, Steinarius turned to look at her. He expected Agda to look as terrified as him, to be desperate about the fire devouring their house, to bring news about the fate of their daughter; instead the mage looked at him with an evil smile and chuckled._

 _"You really think you can be happy Steinarius, don't you?", she asked, her voice cold and detached. "Well, sorry to break it to you, honey, but here's the truth: as long as you live, you will never be happy. You don't deserve it"._

 _And with those words, the woman cast a powerful spell that hit Steinarius right in the chest._ _As he fell to the ground, the Dragonborn heard Agda's laughter and could only think of one thing._

 _His happiness was nothing but a lie._

* * *

With an incredible effort, Steinarius finally managed to come to. He was welcomed by darkness and pain, just like the time before and the time before that. Grimacing, the Imperial tried to ignore the sour taste of healing potions that still lingered in his mouth and to focus on his surroundings. Surprised by the lack of light, the man closed and opened his eyes multiple times in order to understand whether his sight was still troubled by the damages caused by his attackers; it took him a few seconds, but eventually Steinarius noticed a small candle on the top of a shelf - and as he did, he almost sighed in relief: his eyes had finally started working again despite the strong concussion he had suffered.

Feeling better because of that discovery, the man tried to turn his head in order to take in his surroundings. Sadly for him, a strong jolt of pain immediately radiated from his collarbone and tormented his sore ribs, his broken wrists, his burnt torso and his shattered legs. When Steinarius grimaced at the sensation, the pain exploded again, this time reminding him of his mutilated ear and of the fractured bones in his eye sockets, in his cheekbones, in his jaw.

When the second wave of pain was over, the Dragonborn was left motionless on his bed, his lungs wheezing painfully while he tried hard to keep as still as possible, all while ignoring the pain that was about to drive him crazy.

 _If I don't receive any help..._

As soon as that thought started to form in his mind, Steinarius heard a chair scratch the wooden floor of the Temple of Kynareth. Someone carefully walked up to him, their movements slow and cautious in order to avoid unnecessary noise that could worsen the Dragonborn's headache. When Steinarius dared look at his helper, he was surprised to recognize Agda. The mage seemed to have aged a lot during the previous few days, but she was wearing a sweet and affectionate smile. Nonetheless, Steinarius felt a tingle of nervousness when he understood who his helper was.

 _My nightmares are not real_ , he repeated to himself in the weak attempt to overcome his fear. _Agda is here to help me. She is not the evil creature from my dreams - she loves me and she would never hurt me_.

Despite those thoughts, the Imperial felt a cold shiver run down his spine as soon as Agda approached him and brushed his hair away from his forehead.

Whenever he was asleep, Steinarius would dream of a woman that strongly resembled Agda - and said woman always treated him tenderly before torturing him or killing him. The Dragonborn knew that Agda would never harm him; yet, that awareness couldn't prevent him from shivering in fear every time the young woman got close to him - and even in that moment, Steinarius had to fight hard to keep his composure and tolerate Agda's presence.

When the woman grabbed a potion, the Dragonborn carefully scanned her face. He remembered smithing a wedding ring for her while in Riften, then he remembered waking up in the Temple of Kynareth, the mage holding his hand and his parents fussing about his health and crying in relief as soon as he regained consciousness. Back then Steinarius wasn't troubled by the nightmares regarding Agda - on the contrary, he had wished to be close to her right after opening his eyes. The dreams had begun a few days later, after his mother had given him a special draught she had bought at the marketplace. Steinarius however found it hard to believe that the nightmares were connected to that vial - more likely, he thought them to be related to the tortures he had endured.

Shivering, Steinarius thought of the origins of his wounds. He knew he had been tortured - his mother had been kind enough to tell him right after he'd regained consciousness for the first time -, but he had no idea as to the identity of his attackers. Had Agda been among them? And if not, why was he having all those nightmares about her?

While the man was trying to answer those questions, tears of anger and pain filled his eyes. He had never felt so weak and powerless and confused - and the lack of clues regarding the origin of his problems was making the situation even worse.

Always the observant healer, Agda didn't miss the fact that her man was about to cry. Fearing the effects that the sobs might have on his ribs, the mage was quick to cast a calming spell. Steinarius whimpered in protest, but had to give in when the spell engulfed him. As the man closed his eyes in defeat, Agda broke the spell and laid a hand on his chest. Steinarius' breathing was regular, but the girl didn't miss the uneven rhythm of his heart and the sweat that already drenched his bandages. Something was worrying him - and it was up to her to find out what that something was.

In the attempt to calm her man, Agda shushed him and traced the line of his breastbone with the tip of her fingers. When Steinarius looked at her, the mage fought hard to keep her own tears under control. It was difficult to know that her loved one was in pain - and it was even more difficult to be unable to help him.

Stifling a sigh, Agda shushed her man once again, then gently caressed his forehead.

"You have regained your sight", she sweetly whispered in the attempt to help the Imperial focus on something different from his pain.

Agda had expected Steinarius to nod, to smile, to say something in reply to her remark. Instead, the man just turned his head to the right and started crying in silence - and at that point, Agda understood that the Thalmor had broken something more than just his body.

* * *

The days in the Temple of Kynareth were riddled with boredom and pain. Dozens of healers fussed relentlessly over the Dragonborn, whereas dozens of strangers waited for news outside the walls of the infirmary. Danica considered Steinarius too weak to bear any visit - and for this reason, the only people allowed in his room were Agda, Jarl Balgruuf and his parents. Agda didn't like the way Lucretia forced her son to gulp potions of every kind, but she had to admit something important: when he was with his mother, Steinarius never cried. Also, he looked slightly more relaxed than usual.

One night, the Dragonborn woke from a nightmare while the mage was the only one inside the room. For a moment, Agda was unsure on what to do. Her pride prevented her from fetching Lucretia; yet, she knew Steinarius usually felt better when his mother was with him. Before she could decide what to do next, the mage noticed that the Dragonborn was doing worse than usual: he seemed to have problems breathing and his chest was rising and falling too rapidly for her liking.

With no hesitation, Agda reached her man's bedside and laid a hand on his heart. Steinarius was trembling and the girl was quick to understand that he was having problems with the last residues of poison running through his veins. As soon as she noticed that, the girl was quick to grab a potion and approach her man.

Using all her strength, Agda helped the Dragonborn sit up, then she gently tilted his head and brought the vial to his lips. Noticing that the liquid was making the pain disappear, Steinarius tried to gulp the whole potion at once. Agda, however, was quick to take the beverage away.

"Easy", she whispered, a concerned look in her eyes as she tried to convince her man drink in small, careful sips. "I know you want the pain to fade, but you have to drink the potion slowly, otherwise you'll have troubles keeping it down".

To Agda' surprise, Steinarius obeyed. She waited for him to drink the potion to the last drop, then she gently helped him lay down again. The man's breathing was already much calmer, just like his heartbeat and his expression. Agda sighed: luckily enough, she had solved Steinarius' problems on her own. Relieved, the mage made to caress his cheek, but was taken aback by the scared look the man gave her. Steinarius seemed terrified of her - and when she noticed that, Agda felt her heart break into pieces. At the same time, she felt the need to leave the Temple of Kynareth once and for all.

For some reason, her man was afraid of her.

* * *

When the pain became bearable, Steinarius finally found the strength to look around. Agda was standing close to him, her face full of worry and her hands clutching nervously the empty potion the Dragonborn had just drunk. For a moment, the Dragonborn was reminded of his last nightmare, a nightmare where Agda had placed a dagger in his heart right after making love to him. The fear he felt at that memory probably showed on his face, as Agda suddenly paled and made to leave. When Steinarius noticed the hurt look in Agda's eyes, he innerly cringed; at the same time, he felt the need to have her near him. His woman looked weak and tired and frail and he just couldn't allow some stupid nightmares to worsen her situation.

As soon as Agda headed for the door, Steinarius gathered all his strength and made to speak.

"Agds".

The word came out ragged and low, but it was enough for Agda to stop.

"Please. Stand... stand by me".

Agda was surprised by that request; yet, when her brown eyes met Steinarius', the mage was overwhelmed by the pain she saw in them and immediately returned to his bedside.

"I'm here", she whispered. "I'm here, Stein".

Steinarius nodded at those words, then he grimaced at the pain in his ribs.

"Are you... Are you feeling better?"

Steinarius felt the need to chuckle at that question, but he thought better of it when he remembered about his broken ribs. Rather than answering Agda, the man tried to find out more about the attack he had suffered.

"My torturers... who did this to me?"

Agda shook her head at the question. It was the first time Steinarius was in the mood to talk and the mage knew he probably wanted to ask her a lot of things about his current state; yet, she deemed it premature to tell him everything she knew about the Thalmor and their plans to kill him.

"The Companions are looking into what happened, but so far they haven't got any answer as to the identity of your torturers".

Steinarius was surprised by the way Agda avoided his gaze while replying to his question. Frowning, he decided to press the matter to find out more about why he was suffering so much.

"What is... your opinion?", he asked, his jaw hurting madly with every word he uttered. "Who... did it?"

This time Agda did not hesitate.

"You were tortured by someone who doesn't care about the fate of Skyrim; someone who wants chaos to overrun this land and who is only interested in power; someone... someone who hates you and wants you dead at all costs".

Steinarius furrowed his brow. He had been surprised by Agda's words, just like he had been surprised by the raw pain in her voice as she uttered them.

"Where... where were you... when it... happened?"

Steinarius knew that his question sounded like an accusation, but he needed to know more in order to find a reason for his nightmares. Luckily for him, Agda replied immediately.

"Winterhold", she said in a whisper. "I left you here all alone even though I knew that evil people wanted to harm you. I understand why you feel nervous when you're with me: I was a selfish bastard and..."

All of a sudden, Agda's voice broke. The mage covered her mouth with her hands, but she couldn't avoid bursting into tears.

"It's all my fault", she whispered despite the sobs that were wracking her shoulders. "You have been beaten and tortured and poisoned, and it's all my fault".

As Agda's cry became more intense, Steinarius felt ashamed for thinking that she might have been involved with her torturers. The poor girl couldn't know that someone would have tortured him, yet she considered herself guilty for everything he had been through. Confronted with her tears, Steinarius felt the wish to gather her in his arms and shower her in kisses.

"You couldn't know, Agds", he said while trying to steady his voice. "It is... it is not your fault".

Agda shook her head and ignored Steinarius' attempts at calming her down. She felt utterly stupid in that moment: not only had she caused her man to be tortured - she was also forcing him to comfort her despite his current conditions.

Realizing that he could not stop Agda's tears, Steinarius remained silent until the woman finally stopped crying. As she did, he made an effort to take her hand into his and squeeze it. Also, he understood that he couldn't allow his nightmares to ruin his life.

"It's okay", he whispered. "It's okay. And Agds, listen... before being tortured, I... I went to Riften. There is something... something I wanted to ask you. I...".

Agda unexpectedly shook her head at that, then she sobbed again.

"Don't", she said. "Just... don't. I don't deserve you".

Steinarius was surprised by that harsh reaction; yet, he realized that that probably wasn't the best moment to ask Agda to marry him. For that reason he decided to drop the subject.

"Ok then. You know, I'm... I'm feeling tired", he said after a short moment of silence. "I... Would you... Would you maybe cuddle me?"

Agda was surprised by that harsh change of topic - and she was even more surprised by Steinarius' request. Yet, she was quick to offer her help.

Carefully and gently, Agda began caressing Steinarius' hair. The man usually adored lying in bed while Agda threaded her fingers through his hair, just like he loved it when she traced the scars on his chest or when she massaged his shoulders - and even in his conditions, after a few seconds of those slow ministrations Steinarius closed his eyes and sighed in content.

Agda continued to caress him for what felt like years. She let her fingertips run freely over Steinarius' cheekbones, his forehead, his shoulders and his arms; she caressed his chest, then she peppered his neck, his collarbone and his jaw in small, adoring kisses. The man smiled at that, then he let out a pleased groan.

"I could stay like this forever", he confessed without opening his eyes.

Surprised by how relaxed Steinarius looked, Agda tried to discover why he often looked scared when he was alone with her.

"You know you are safe with me, don't you?"

Agda tried to ask that question in a casual way, but she knew she'd failed when her voice quivered. Feeling the wish to reassure her, Steinarius opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Agda of Anvil: I love you more than anyone else in this world", he whispered. "I love you and I feel safe whenever I'm with you. My nightmares... my nightmares will not ruin our relationship".

Frowning, Agda asked what Steinarius meant.

"I've been having nightmares since I was tortured", he finally explained. "They... they often involve you, which is why I often look scared when you're with me. By the way they're just nightmares, nothing to worry about".

Agda frowned at that and made to object. Steinarius, however, was quick to stop her.

"I... I really like it when you caress my hair", he said, his lips curving into a sheepish smile. "Would you... would you mind doing that again?"

Surprised by that unexpected request, Agda was quick to obey. She smiled when Steinarius let out a pleased mewl, and she smiled even more when he finally relaxed and fell asleep again.

Confronted with his peaceful expression, Agda felt slightly better: it was her fault that Steinarius had been tortured, but it was thanks to her that he was slowly feeling like himself again.


	76. Truth and honesty

**Author's note:**

 **My dear readers, after a long silence here I am with a new update. As always, I start by thanking all of you for your support.**

 **The special shout-outs du jour go to _ShpperOfTrashyShips_ for their enthusiastic comments on my previous chapter. I'm glad you liked it and I hope you'll enjoy this drama-packed instalment even more!**

 **As for _Guest_ , I'm really happy you like my story. Thank you for your support, as it gives me a huge motivation to keep on writing!**

 **Last but not least, _MeanE_ 's review was as interesting and amusing as usual. You're terribly good at seeing where this story is going: do you have foreseeing abilities? Or am I actually turning into a predictable writer?**

 **Let me know what you think about this important question - also, let me know what you think about this new chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **30th of Hearthfire, 4E 204**

Agda ran a wet cloth along Steinarius' arms. The Dragonborn muttered a complaint, but the mage was quick to shot him an angry glance. She'd been cleaning him from the healing paste used by Danica for most of the morning, so that her man would finally stop ranting about the smell of dead goat in his room. It was a long and tiring task and Agda clearly did not need her man to complain about it for most of the time.

"Stein, I know that you have troubles keeping still and silent, but you must do your best. Otherwise I'll call your mother in and let her take over my job".

Scared by that possibility, Steinarius widened his eyes in horror. Being treated like an infant by his woman while laying naked on a bed was terrible - letting his mother see his privates, however, was a thousand time worse.

When Agda resumed her task, the man carefully observed her. The mage looked weak and tired and, when she let out a pained whimper, he was quick to ask her what was wrong.

"Nothing Stein", the girl was quick to reassure him. "I just feel dizzy. It happens often, so I'm getting used to it".

Steinarius frowned at the admission. He loved his woman and he didn't want her to feel sick while tending to him.

"You can sit down and relax for a while", he suggested. "You still have a long way to go", he added as he looked at the healing paste stuck to his legs and hips. "Gosh, did Danica have to place that horrible paste even _there_?", he continued after a more accurate analysis of his hips and of the surrounding area.

Agda chuckled at that, then she gently caressed his chest.

"We were afraid your torturers had made you unable to work properly, so we placed healing paste everywhere", she mischievously said. "Luckily enough, that doesn't seem to be the case".

Agda tried to smirk while making that comment, but a sudden rush of dizziness caused her to close her eyes and whimper in pain. Despite his broken bones, Steinarius was quick to grab her by the elbow before she could fall to the ground. Stifling a curse, the man tried to keep calm and convince her woman to rest.

"Agds, please", he told her. "Another rush movement like this, and I'll be covered in healing paste again in less than two minutes".

Steinarius would have liked Agda to smile at his comment, but the mage simply snorted and sat down on the ground. A moment later, he heard her retch and cough repeatedly.

"Agds, look at me", he said, worried by those noises. "Please, honey".

There was a moment of silence, then Agda slowly got up again. She looked pale and Steinarius suddenly realized that something was wrong.

"Agds, what..."

"I'm okay", the mage said. "I just... Do you mind if I continue cleaning you later? I think I need to lay down".

Steinarius nodded without hesitation, then he took Agda's hand in his. He would have liked Agda to fall asleep on the chair next to his bed, but he knew she needed to rest in a proper place.

"You have the keys to Breezehome, don't you?"

The mage nodded.

"I have them, but I'd rather sleep here until I feel better. I still need to clean you up".

"Forget it", Steinarius replied. "Danica will take over - or my mother, if Danica is not available. Actually, the smell of dead goat isn't so bad anymore".

Agda would have liked to smile, but she felt too dizzy even to do that. Sighing, the girl took a blanket and covered Steinarius' legs with it. Noticing her pained expression, Steinarius understood that she was probably ill. He gently grabbed her hand again and squeezed it, then he looked right into her eyes.

"Go home and rest, honey", he recommended. "Ask Lydia to escort you and have Danica take a look at you: dizziness is never a good sign".

Agda nodded, then she slowly walked out of the door. Despite Steinarius' advice, she did not ask anyone for help and reached Breezehome at the end of what felt like the longest walk of her life. Once safe in the cool shadows of the building, the mage slumped down on a chair and laid a hand on her belly. She did not need Danica to understand what was wrong with her - thanks to her experience as a healer, she knew that her syntomps had only one explanation.

She was pregnant with Steinarius' child.

* * *

The following days went by slowly. Steinarius was gradually recovering, whereas Agda was still struggling with her problems. She did not want to tell her man about her pregnancy: she was still in the early stages and she was afraid something might go wrong. Also, she did not want to burden him with that awareness before of the final fight against Alduin. Hopefully, the Dragonborn would defeat that overgrown lizard before Agda's belly began to swell - after all, the baby had been conceived less than a month earlier, after the peace talks of High Hrotghar.

Despite her secrecy, Steinarius knew that something with Agda wasn't alright. She started tending to him less often, leaving her previous tasks to Danica and the other healers. Also, she avoided visiting him in the mornings, probably due to her dizziness. The man felt the need to confront her, but he also knew that the mage probably needed some time to herself after all she'd been through over the previous month. Unfortunately, his mother seemed unable to share that idea.

Lucretia didn't like Agda. She wanted her son to be with a strong woman that could take care of him, not with some weak mage who seemed unable to tend to his wounds without bursting into tears or ending up asleep on his chest!

As a consequence of her dislike for Agda, the former priestess had a formidable idea: she asked the Legion for help in healing her son from his injuries - and said help came in the form of a Thalmor healer.

When that mage turned up in Whiterun, his appearance almost caused a riot. Danica said that her Temple was neutral to the war, while the Companions complained to the Jarl; Adaeze threatened to kill that arrogant Elf, whereas Jarl Balgruuf almost fainted when he discovered about his presence in the city; Lucretia, however, wanted only the best for her son - and for that reason she chose to invite her Thalmor helper to Whiterun despite everyone else's resistance.

In the hope that the first encounter with her son would run smoothly, Lucretia invited the Thalmor healer to the Temple of Kynareth early in the morning, when she knew that Agda would be out of sight and that her husband would be trekking though the plains of Whiterun just like he always did.

When the former priestess reached his room, Steinarius was laying half-asleep in his bed. The Dragonborn had forgotten to take the usual medicines, so he was feeling worse than usual. Also, he was worried about Agda's problems.

Steinarius wasn't a healer, but he knew there was a very simple explanation for women who felt sick every morning - and said simple explanation was enough to fill him with dread and excitement. Could it be that he and Agda were about to become parents?

Steinarius was forced to abandon those thoughts when his mother abruptly opened the door to his room. The man was surprised by the large smile on Lucretia's face - and when he saw the reason for that smile, he was even more surprised. What was a Thalmor doing in his room?

Steinarius' thoughts probably showed on his face, as his mother was quick to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"My dear boy, let me introduce you to a friend", she said with a broad smile. "Ancarion was summoned to Whiterun especially for you: he's a good healer and Lady Elenwen firmly believes he will be able to help you with all your problems".

Steinarius couldn't believe what he had just heard. The Thalmor had tortured Agda, they had almost destroyed Winterhold, they had tried to nullify his efforts to bring peace to Skyrim by turning up uninvited at the peace talks of High Hrotghar. How could his mother think that they truly wanted to help him? And most of all, how could she trust them after everything they had done to him?

The Dragonborn tried to calm his racing mind in order to express what he thought about his mother's idea. Before he could speak, however, Ancarion, began to talk. He was a tall and handsome man and was currently sporting a very irritating grin.

"Dragonborn, your injuries are serious - so serious that not even the best healers of Skyrim could cure them", the Altmer said with a mellifluous tone. "You will need help if you want to recover fully, and said help can only come from superior mages like us".

Steinarius made to speak, but Ancarion was quick to stop him with a gesture.

"I do not mean any offence, Dragonborn, but it is a matter of fact that the Archmage of Winterhold has been feeling sick for many days in a row. If she cannot even cure herself, how can you believe she will heal you?"

As he heard those words, Steinarius shot his mother an angry glance. Agda had tried to keep her dizziness a secret for the people outside Whiterun - and if Ancarion knew about it, it meant that Lucretia had promptly informed him.

Ignoring the rage in Steinarius' eyes, the Thalmor resumed speaking.

"Dragonborn, the fate of Tamriel rests in your hands", he said, his voice now stern and low. "You have been waiting to feel better for days now, but you still haven't recovered. You have troubles moving and you often have headaches. Your heart beats too fast and sometimes you have troubles breathing. You haven't told anyone about it, but you are worried that you will never be able to fight again because of the pain you feel every time you rotate your wrists and because of the terrible fractures in your legs. Isn't it so?"

For the first time since Ancarion had entered the room, Steinarius's anger was replaced by surprise. What Ancarion had just told him was true, terribly and painfully true. He was worried about his injuries, he was worried he may never be able to fight again, he was afraid he would never fully recover. Until then, however, Steinarius had kept all his problems and doubts and fears a secret from everyone, even - _especially_ \- from Agda. People needed to believe that the prophesized savior of Skyrim was invincible, didn't they? Also, his woman needed to know that he would recover fully thanks to her spells and her efforts. He was the Dragonborn, for Talos' sake, he couldn't allow himself to look weak!

Ancarion, however, had been able to see right through him. The Thalmor had never met him before, yet he had already disclosed his most hidden fears and worries. Agda was a good healer, sure, but not even her spells had been able to make Steinarius feel better. And then she had her own health problems to struggle with... Ancarion, instead, was the healer Steinarius needed. The only problem, of course, laid in the fact that he was a Thalmor.

There was a long moment of silence as Steinarius thought about what to do. His first instict was to tell Ancarion to leave him alone, but a deep fear hidden in his heart made him unable to speak out those words. He'd been lying in that bed for weeks now and the road to a full recovery still looked long and difficult. Meanwhile, Alduin was gaining strength and power day after day. Maybe the Thalmor's offer wasn't that bad...

Before Steinarius could elaborate that thought, Ancarion surprised him by bowing in front of him.

"I see that my visit has given you a lot to think about", he unexpectedly said. "I will give you a few hours to take a decision, Dragonborn. I know that you had problems with my people and I do not wish to impose my presence".

And with those words, that weird Thalmor exited the room, leaving a baffled and confused Steinarius behind.

* * *

Agda woke to the usual feeling of nausea. She somehow managed to get out of bed, then she grabbed the wooden bucket she always kept close to her mattress. Luckily enough, Lydia was busy collecting alchemy ingredients in the plains and the young mage could be as loud as she wanted as she said goodbye to the food she had managed to crunch a few hours before.

As she fell back on her bed, the girl cursed. Why was she feeling worse and worse morning after morning?

The young mage had to abandon those self-pitious thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. Cursing under her breath, Agda cast a spell to improve her appearance, then somehow managed to walk down the stairs that led to the entrance of Breezehome. Once there, she was surprised to find herself face to face with a visibly distressed Adaeze.

"Agda of Anvil!", the Redguard immediately exclaimed. "Your mother-in-law is the stupidest creature on Tamriel! Divines, she's even more stupid than her son! She... Agda, why are you looking so pale? Are you okay?"

Sighing, Agda told her best friend that she was fine.

"Just the usual nightmares", she said while trying to keep her dizziness under control. "You were saying something about Lucretia, I believe..."

At first it seemed that Adaeze wanted to make more comments about her friend's appearance, but the mention of Lucretia reminded her of the reason why she had gone to Agda's house so early in the morning.

"Agda of Anvil, your mother-in-law is totally crazy!", the former thief vehemently repeated, her voice full of disgust and anger. "She turned to the Legion for help because she thought that Steinarius wasn't healing fast enough. And guess who came here to help him? A Thalmor!"

There was a long moment of silence during which those words slowly sank into Agda's mind. When they did, the girl broke into a little, hysterical laughter.

"That's a nice joke, Adaeze! Come on, not even Lucretia can be so stupid! I know she doesn't like me, but why would she summon a Thalmor to Whiterun? Steinarius hates those Elves and Ulfric could take advantage of this fact to break the truce between his men and the Legion. She surely wouldn't risk the peace of Skyrim just to..."

"Agda, Lucretia is desperate to see her son heal", Adaeze broke Agda off. "She thinks it is taking him too long to feel better and that Danica isn't a good healer. Also, she believes you're not doing a good job".

Agda made to express her disdain for that comment, but Adaeze stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Agda, I'm sorry to break it to you, but many people share Lucretia's opinion. You're feeling bad for most of the time and Steinarius isn't improving as fast as everyone would like him to. I'm not saying that summoning a Thalmor is the answer, sure, but..."

"There are no _but_ s, Adaeze", Agda coldly replied. She'd been hurt by her friend's comments and could feel anger boil up in her heart.

Did Lucretia and all the other people believe that she enjoyed feeling so sick that she was unable to tend to her man? Did they think that she was happy to see Steinarius suffer? Did they believe that she hadn't noticed the look of worry in his eyes every time her potions turned out to be useless? Did they think she enjoyed sitting at Steinarius' side at night, holding his hand while he was trying hard to keep on breathing despite the invisible hands that seemed to squeeze the air out of his lungs every two minutes? Did they believe she had fun when she saw that her almost-husband was trying to keep his worries and doubts hidden from her?

"There are no _but_ s", the mage repeated, her voice full of rage and disappointment. "The Companions found the corpses of a few Thalmor in the cave where Steinarius was tortured, so why the hell is Lucretia trusting them? Those damned Elves tried to kill her son and she thinks she's doing Steinarius a favour by letting them help him!"

When a few people turned to look at the angry girl standing on the threshold of Breezehome, Adaeze was quick to grab Agda by the elbow and shush her.

"Agda, I understand that you're angry", she told her friend. She'd never seen Agda so angry and she was afraid the young Nord may do something dangerous. "Yet, your rage will not send that Thalmor away. He's just visited Steinarius and people say that their meeting wasn't so bad. Perhaps you should try to knock some sense in your man's head before his mother interferes again".

Agda was silent for a moment, then she nodded. Talking to Steinarius was the only way to get out of that situation.

* * *

When Agda reached his room in the Temple, Steinarius was staring intently at the ceiling. He was breathing in a slow and controlled manner and that was enough for Agda to understand that he wasn't doing fine. The light-heartedness from few days earlier, when they'd joked together while she was cleaning him from the healing paste, now seemed to belong to a previous Era.

Slowly and silently, Agda carefully reached her man's bedside and ran a hand through his hair. Steinarius immediately turned to look at her, then he motioned for her to sit down on a nearby chair. As soon as she did, the Imperial smiled. His eyes, however, remained mortally serious.

"Hey", he whispered, his voice low and soothing. "How are you this morning?"

"Dizzy like always", Agda chuckled in the attempt to hide her nervousness. "Yet, I'm feeling well enough to visit you before midday. Quite the achievement, isn't it?"

As she spoke, Agda resumed caressing Steinarius' hair. The man sighed, then he posed her the question that had been tormenting for the previous few hours.

"You still won't tell me why you're feeling dizzy every morning, will you?", he said, his eyes returning to the ceiling.

For a moment Agda considered the possibility of telling her man the truth. She imagined the look of shock on his face, the pride and joy in his eyes, the loving hug he would try to give her despite the broken bones in his body. Then, however, Agda imagined something different - she imagined Steinarius being scared of fighting Alduin while leaving his pregnant woman behind, she saw him getting desperate as something with her pregnancy didn't go right, she imagined him feeling weak and frail and frustrated when confronted with the knowledge that the future of his child and of all the other children of Tamriel depended on the outcome of his fight against Alduin.

 _No_ , Agda thought. _I don't want him to carry this burden_. _Not yet, at least._

Somehow, Steinarius seemed to understand what was happening in Agda's mind. Sighing, he shook his head despite the pain in his collarbones and let out a quick, humorless chuckle.

"You know Agds, sometimes I feel like I'm an open book to you. You, on the other hand, are a constant riddle to me".

Agda made to reply, but Steinarius stopped her with a gesture.

"See, on the one hand there is you, _Agda the Cold_ , the famous Archmage of Winterhold. On the other hand there's me, a simple boy from Cyrodiil that can't do much besides cracking skulls and getting hurt too often for his own sake. Do you know the difference between us, honey? It's very simple, actually: you've been feeling sick for days now and you won't even tell me why, probably because you think I don't really need to know. I, on the other hand, have just received a visit from a Thalmor officier and here I am, already being confronted by you about it. I am right, aren't I? You're here because of the man my mother summoned, aren't you?"

Surprised by Steinarius' perspicacy, Agda couldn't help but nod. The man reacted by letting out another humorless chuckle.

"See Agds, this is the kind of things that really makes me angry about our relationship. I'm supposed to tell you everything that happens to me, but you are entitled to keep your secrets to yourself. Is it because you don't trust me? Or is it because you think you're better than me? Either way, I'm tired of this, Agda, I really am. I would like you to be my best friend, my lover, my advisor - instead, I get the feeling that you just want to be my nanny, or my bodyguard, or the _I know better than you_ kind of friend. Do you know what, Agds? Screw that: I don't want you to protect me, or to show me the right way to be the Dragonborn, or to do whatever else you think you have to do on my behalf. I just miss my woman, my loved one, my partner - and I wish you would abandon this new attitude of yours and go back to being my beloved Agda, even for just one day".

Confronted with those remarks, Agda was left speechless for a long moment. Steinarius usually wasn't good with words, but his speech had striked a cord deep down in her heart. All of a sudden, the young mage thought about her secret meetings with Vigdis and Delphine, she thought about the way she'd failed at protecting Steinarius from his torturers, she thought about her pregnancy and how she was trying hard to keep it a secret from her man.

 _He is right_ , Agda suddenly realized. _I am keeping all those secrets from him because I think I know what's best, but I'm only doing both of us harm._

The room was silent for what felt like an endless time. Agda was thinking about all the things she had kept from Steinarius; yet, she still couldn't find the strength to tell him about them. She could start by confessing that she was pregnant, sure; then, however, she would be forced to tell her man that she had known about his torturers all along, that Vigdis was alive, that Delphine wasn't as horrible as he thought. Also, she would have to confess him about her involvement with Hermaeus Mora. Unfortunately, to the young mage the thought of getting rid of all those secrets at once was simply appalling.

While Agda was struggling with the consequences of her secrecy, Steinarius carefully examined her face. He loved that girl, of course he did, but he could feel that their relationship was at risk because of her desire to protect him.

 _Come on_ , the man found himself thinking as he looked at the torn expression on Aga's face. _I know you're with child. Just say it, for Talos' sake!_

The Dragonborn waited for Agda to speak for almost an hour. At the end, however, her stubborn silence won.

"Okay, I see that I don't deserve to know why my woman is sick", Steinarius said at that point, his voice tired and matter-of-factly. He had tried to improve things between him and Agda, he really had, but the mage had neatly avoided to answer his call for help. That lack of consideration caused him to feel hurt and sad.

"By the way Agds, don't worry: I will keep on telling you everything that happens in my life", he mockingly added a moment later. "For this reason I officially inform you that I have decided to accept the Thalmor's help. Therefore, if tomorrow you're feeling sick again, you can stay in Breezehome: I'll have someone else take care of me - someone who will treat me with as much superiority as you do, honey, so that I won't even miss you".

Upon hearing those words, Agda felt as though someone had just stabbed her; yet, she couldn't blame Steinarius nor for his decision, nor for his cold words.

If she wanted him to trust her again, she needed to give up on her pride.


	77. Amnesy

**AN:**

 **My dear readers, I have been silent for many months now, and many of you have probably thought I have forgotten about Agda and Steinarius. Well, I'm glad to take this chance to wish you all a Happy New Year and tell you that I haven't!**

 **With the beginning of 2019, I have promised myself to spend more time writing, no matter how hectic things in my offline life can get. Sure, I probably won't be able to keep up a decent update schedule, but I would like to give it a try and publish a new chapter at least once a month. Agda and Stein's story still has a long way to go and I'm not going to give up on it! For this reason, here I am with a new update.**

 **As Valtieri and MeanE pointed out in their last reviews, Agda and Stein's problems seem to be repeating themselves over and over again. Soon, however, the story is about to take an unplanned twist. Without further delays, however, let me present you this new instalment!**

 ** _Quick summary of the previous episodes: Stein got tortured by the Thalmor and is now feeling bad, Agda is feeling guilty for having kept the danger from him despite Delphine and Vigdis' warnings (she just wrote him a simple letter that got lost somewhere in the wilderness of Skyrim), Stein has now agreed to be cured by a Thalmor healer summoned by his mother, Agda is pregnant and refuses to let anyone know._ _How is it going to end?_**

 _ **Let's find out!**_

* * *

 **7th of Frostfall, 4E 204**

Sighing, Agda laid a hand on her belly and closed her eyes. She was experiencing the usual morning dizziness and felt too weak even to get up from the chair where she was sitting.

"Agda, are you okay? I have left some letters for you in the hallway. I'll be back in a minute!"

When Lydia shouted those words from the lower floor of Breezehome, Agda replied with a strangled mewl. She still hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy and kept disguising her sickness by saying that she had come down with a flu. After all, if she was to reveal her condition, she wanted Steinarius to be the first to know.

Ever since their discussion from the previous week, the young mage avoided visiting her lover. Much to her dismay, Steinarius hadn't asked for her even once - and much to her dismay, the rumors coming from the Temple claimed that Ancarion was a very good healer.

 _"The Dragonborn is already walking!"_ , an enthusiast farmer had stated the day before at the marketplace, unaware of the fact that the woman who was buying carrots beside him was Steinarius' lover.

Agda had first thought the man was reporting unfounded rumours, but had been forced to change her mind during a conversation with Lydia.

 _"The Thane is feeling much better"_ , the young Huskarl had claimed over dinner a couple of days earlier. _"He's not in pain anymore"_.

Despite those good news, Agda wasn't happy. Steinarius' conditions were critical when he had been first transported to Whiterun, and she deemed it impossible for a Thalmor healer to cure him over a week. Sure, Ancarion perfectly knew what kind of spells and poisons and weapons had been used on the Dragonborn, but that wasn't enough to grant him such a fast recovery. That Thalmor was up to something - and Agda feared that Steinarius was in danger once again.

To say it all, the mage couldn't even understand why Elenwen had sent Ancarion to Whiterun. The Thalmor were secretly training an Altmer Dragonborn in order to replace Steinarius before of the final battle against Alduin, so that the world could be saved by one of their agents rather than by a former Imperial soldier who deeply hated the Dominion. If the information reported by Vigdis and Delphine were true, why were Thalmor curing Steinarius instead of simply getting rid of him?

As all those questions ran through Agda's mind, someone timidly knocked on the door to Breezehome. Sighing, the girl yelled at the stranger to come in. She was feeling well enough to sit on a chair by her bed, but walking to the door was definitely out of question.

"I'm in the bedroom, come up!", the girl shouted as soon the unknown visitor opened the door of her house.

While waiting for her visitor to appear on the threshold, Agda readied a weak fire spell. When she found herself face-to-face with Aburius Steinarius, however, she immediately felt safe - safe and surprised by that unexpected visit.

Steinarius' father greeted Agda with the usual warm smile, but he couldn't hide his tired appearance. The man hadn't shaved in days and had black circles under his eyes - eyes that seemed full of worries and doubts.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Agda", he said. "I've heard you aren't doing well".

Hiding a blush, the mage slightly nodded and prepared one of her usual lies.

"It's starting to get cold and I've come down with a bit of influence. Nothing to worry about".

Aburius absent-mindedly nodded, then he looked across the bedroom of Breezehome.

"Unfortunately I still haven't managed to tidy my room today", Agda quickly said as the eyes of her possible father-in-law scanned the unmade bed. "I feel slightly dizzy".

"Nothing to worry about", Aburius replied with a shrug. "Even if my wife disagrees, Breezehome is not one my problems - not yet, at least".

Confronted with Agda's frown, Aburius sat down on her bed and sighed.

"As you know, my wife is rather worried about our son", he said without any further preamble. Agda noticed that the former soldier seemed unable to look her in the eyes and to hide the embarassemene from showing on his cheeks. "She's acting kind of crazy right now, but I really can't blame her. She's always dreamed of having a big family, but unfortunately I had a lot of problems in my youth. That's why Steinarius is an only child - and that's why Lucretia values him above all things".

When Aburius paused to look at her, Agda slightly blushed. Was he really telling her about his fertility problems?

Sensing Agda's embarassement, the old soldier shook his head.

"Agda, I'm not asking you to forgive my wife for the way she treats you, but I need you to understand she's going through a difficult time. This is why she asked me to pay this visit to you. Remember what I just said about Breezehome? Well, Lucretia is growirng tired of living at the inn, so she would like to move in here. After all, this is not your property".

Frowning, Agda sat speechless for a moment.

"If Lucretia wants to move in with me..."

"See Agda, this is the problem", Aburius was quick to cut her off. "My wife doesn't want to move in with you. She wants you to leave Breezehome within this evening, otherwise she'll tell the Jarl that you are occupying her son's house without his written consent".

"But Steinarius..."

"Agda, Steinarius isn't himself those days!", Aburius unexpectedly shouted. "The Thalmor are not curing him, they are killing him!"

Surprised by that sudden outburst, Agda stiffened. Shaking his head, Aburius was quick to hide his face in his hands.

"Agda, I'm sorry, so so sorry... I just... I need your help. _My son_ needs your help",

In the attempt to calm Aburius down, Agda made an effort to get up and lay a hand on his shoulder. The man had just told her she needed to leave Breezehome, but at the moment the girl was more worried by the news regarding Steinarius.

"That Thalmor, Ancarion... He says he's helping my son, but I'm afraid of him", Aburius explained after Agda succeeded in calming him and in pouring him some Brandy. Luckily enough, Steinarius always kept some bottles of it on a shelf in his bedroom.

"There have been some improvements, I can't deny it", Aburius said after taking a sip from his glass. "Steinarius can now sit upright and move his arms without problems and yesterday he even took a couple of steps. He's not in pain anymore and he can sleep without nightmares. Yet, there is something wrong with him, deeply and horribly wrong".

"What do you mean?", Agda asked.

"It's weird, Agda. My son seems to be getting better physically, but his mind... That Thalmor is destroying his personality, Agda. Steinarius is becoming forgetful, he doesn't remember his past, he doesn't recognize people, he even forgot who the Companions are. The other day I mentioned them over lunch and my boy just looked at me, confusion written all over his face. When you were curing him, he had nightmares about all of us, but at least he remembered who we were and who he was. Now, instead, he's forgetting everything that took place in his past".

When Aburius shook his head once again, Agda frowned. The Thalmor were expert at manipulating people's minds; yet, why would they need to make Steinarius forget his past?

Before the girl could voice her doubts, Aburius spoke again.

"Agda, I need you to do me a favor. I know that I've just told you to leave Breezehome to my wife but please, I need you to meet my son and talk to him. He loves you and I'm sure you'll have a good effect on him. Also, given you're mage, you'll be able to understand what's going on".

Even though Aburius had just told her she needed to leave her house before sunset, Agda didn't hesitate: as soon as the man stopped talking, she agreed to meeting Steinarius in order to understand what Ancarion was up to.

* * *

That day, when the sun began to set, the mountains around Whiterun became red like fire, whereas the creaks that ran along the planes starting shining like silver snakes hidden in the dark. Yet, Agda had no time to admire the landscape. The girl had just moved the last of her personal belongings to the _Bannered Mare_ and was in a very nervous mood because of that. Most of all, however, the mage was worried about the upcoming meeting with Steinarius.

 _You'll find him on the battlements, on his usual chair, looking towards Bleak Fall Barrows_ , Aburius had told her hours earlier. _I'll make sure no one is around when you visit him_.

Speeding up her pace, Agda sighed. She hadn't seen Steinarius ever since their argument from the previous week and she honestly didn't know what to expect.

When she reached the battlements, the girl looked around for the Imperial. When she spotted him, she felt a shiver down her spine.

Steinarius was exactly where Aburius had predicted. His blonde hair had been cut so short that his mutilated ear was visible, whereas his face was still full of bluish marks around the eyes and along his cheekbones. He was wearing light, baggy clothes that made him look even taller and skinnier than he was and that were visibly out of place in that crispy evening of Frostfall. But most of all, Agda noticed that the Dragonborn was sitting upright and was squeezing a small leather ball he kept in his right hand.

Agda was shocked by that sight. A week earlier, her lover was suffering so much that he had problems lying in bed. Now, instead, he was even sitting upright and moving his arms. How was it possible?

Willing to find an answer to that question, Agda walked up to the Dragonborn, her heart beating madly in her ribcage. Steinarius was her best friend, the man she loved, the father to the child that was growing inside of her. As she thought about that, the girl instinctively laid a hand on her belly. It was high time the Imperial found out about her pregnancy, but she still didn't know how to face that topic. Actually, right then she didn't even know if Steinarius would recognize her or not.

When the man heard the sound of footsteps approaching, he tried to tilt his head sideways. When he got glimpse of Agda, however, he showed no reaction. He didn't greet her, he didn't frown, he didn't smile at her. Confused, the girl stopped for a moment. Could it be that her man had truly forgotten her?

Willing to find an answer to that horrifying question, Agda resumed walking and reached Steinarius' side. When the Imperial didn't say anything, she decided to break the awkward silence between them.

"It's a nice sunset, isn't it?", she asked, feeling stupid for that question and feeling on the verge of fainting at the fear that Steinarius wouldn't reply.

Luckily enough, the Imperial looked at her with his grey eyes, then nodded and spoke.

"It's nice indeed. I come here every evening, but I've never seen such bright colours. You are lucky to have come here today".

As Steinarius spoke, Agda noticed that he was addressing her with a mixture of kindness and caution, almost as though they had never met before. That impression was proven correct when the man next spoke.

"You don't come here often, do you?", he asked, curiosity well evident in his voice.

Shocked by that question, Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine. Was Steinarius toying with her? Or did he actually had troubles realizing who he was talking to?

"I'm... I'm not from Whiterun", she eventually replied. "I'm from Anvil".

"Really? I'm from Kvatch", the man replied with a smile. A moment later, Steinarius frowned and carefully scanned Agda's face. As he did, the girl noticed that he was paler than usual and that he was sitting upright thanks to a leather strap fastened around his waist. The device seemed extremely uncomfortable.

Before Agda could ask anything about it, Steinarius spoke.

"We have met before, haven't we?"

Surprised by that question, Agda didn't know what to think. Should she be desperate because her man had seemingly forgotten about her, or should she be relieved because, at least, he somehow remembered meeting her sometime earlier in his life?

Trying to keep her feelings in check, the girl nodded.

"We met in Riverwood a couple of years ago", she explained. "We were friends for some time, then we became closer. I usually live in Winterhold, but I left the College because I wanted to help you defeat Alduin".

For a moment, Agda feared Steinarius would ask her who Alduin was, or what College she was talking about. Luckily enough, thanks to her short description of their life together, the man seemed to regain part of his memory.

"You... you are Agda!", he said, surprise well evident in his voice. "Is it correct?"

When the girl nodded, Steinarius sighed in relief.

"Geez, I knew we had met before! I apologize, but my health problems are causing me sudden memory losses. Sometimes I can't even remember my own name!"

Ignoring the worry on Agda's face, Steinarius kept on talking.

"Actually, I remember quite a lot of things about you, Agda. Some of them are probably nightmares, but other things are good. Like, really good. We once slept together in a weird place full of giant mushrooms and shiny rivers, didn't we?"

Although she was caught unaware by that extravagant description of Blackreach, Agda nodded.

"And we also danced together in Riverwood a couple of years ago, at New Life Festival", Steinarius continued. "And the next morning, I woke up and stepped on a poor man that was sleeping by the door. Hadvar, wasn't it? And later that day he argued with a girl, Adaeze. Is it correct?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius' eyes sparkled with happiness.

"I also remember waking up in Ivarstead and finding you by my side. On that occasion we... Well, maybe I don't remember correctly, but I think that that day we..."

When Steinarius blushed as red as a beet, Agda took it upon herself to finish that sentence on his behalf.

"That day we made love to each other, yes", she said, a slight blush appearing also on her cheeks. "You know, as of late we were more than simple friends".

"I wanted to marry you, didn't I?"

Surprised by that question, Agda felt silent. Confronted with her expression, Steinarius blushed even more.

"Well, maybe I didn't tell you, but I do think I wanted to marry you at some point. Judging from your expression, my torturers found me and I didn't have the time to tell you".

For a moment, Agda smiled. Talking to Steinarius was like talking to a huge, naive child - yet, that child did remember his feelings for her prior to his problems with the Thalmor.

"What do you mean, your torturers?", the mage asked, willing to find out more about what Steinarius actually remembered from his encounter with the Thalmor.

Made unease by the question, the man shrugged.

"I wasn't always like this", he said, his eyes full of sternness. "Someone attacked me on my way to Whiterun. Ancarion is helping me recover. I was beaten up pretty badly and the healers thought I wasn't going to make it. Then Ancarion arrived and helped me feel better".

"Are you friends with Ancarion?"

Confronted with that question, Steinarius scoffed.

" _Friend_ is a big word... Let's just say that he's helping me. His potions are disgusting and his cures are painful, but now at least I can eat on my own. The other day I even took a trip to the restroom on my own legs, which is a big achievement".

The Imperial paused for a moment. As he resumed speaking, his forehead was marred by a wrinkle.

"You were curing me too, right? Before Ancarion? If so, why did you stop visiting me? Did I do anything wrong? Because Ancarion says I often do wrong things".

Moved by the worry in Steinarius' eyes, Agda got closer to him and sat on the short walls of the battlements.

"I was curing you too, Stein", she gently told him. "I stopped visiting you because we had an argument. Don't worry, however: it was all my fault".

Steinarius looked baffled for a moment, then he spoke again. His eyes were full of concentration.

"You didn't tell me why you were feeling dizzy. That's why we argued. I said you were keeping things from me, but I couldn't keep anything from you".

When Agda nodded, Steinarius unexpectedly burst into a laughter.

"Do you know what, Agda? I usually don't remember so many things at once! Also, I've just remembered the small poem I wrote to propose to you. _Slaughterfish have teeth, I have thee, I'll be as happy as a man can be if you decide to marry me_. What do you think?"

When he noticed Agda's confusion, Steinarius laughed once again.

"I was asking for your opinion about the poem, not for your answer to my question!", he explained. "Actually, there is something else I wanted to ask you. Are you still dizzy in the mornings? You know, women who feel dizzy in the mornings are usually..."

As the Imperial trailed off, Agda decided to gather all her courage and reveal him the truth about her health problems.

"You are right", she said, her cheeks red with embarassement. "Women who feel dizzy in the mornings are usually pregnant. Some weeks ago, you and I went to a meeting in High Hrotghar".

"And we attended some kind of peace talks, right?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius spoke again.

"If I remember correctly, after the peace talks we cuddled and then you, I mean, we... we took off our clothes and..."

Probably embarassed by that memory, Steinarius trailed off. Confronted with his expression, Agda had to stifle the urge to stand up and throw her arms around his neck.

"We made love, yes", she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement for the first time in weeks. "And that night is the reason why I'm feeling dizzy every morning. I'm with child, Stein. Our child".

There was a moment of silence and Agda briefly feared that Steinarius was about to pass out, as he had visibly paled and now seemed unable to speak.

"You... I... You...", he juttered, his hand pointing towards Agda's belly. Before the girl could say anything, however, the Imperial finally managed to form a coherent sentence. "Can I feel your belly?"

Surprised by that request, Agda stood up and approached her man. With some difficulties due to the strap around his waist, Steinarius leant towards her and laid a hand on her belly. Then, he chuckled.

"It's probably too early to feel anything, but I swear your belly feels different", he smiled. "Gods, I've never felt so happy before. Well, maybe with Vigdis, but that was a long time ago".

When she heard the name of that woman, Agda stiffened. Did Steinarius really have to talk about her in that moment? Then, however, the girl realized the importance of that mention.

"You remember Vigdis", she said, surprise well evident in her brown eyes.

Steinarius chuckled, then he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.

"Believe it or not, I've just come to remember about Vigdis. And Eidan. And Thorygg. And now I remember you and all the moments we spent together. It looks like your presence is enough to help me retrieve my memories".

Before Agda could express her joy at the news, Steinarius stopped her with a gesture.

"Let's not talk about the past anymore now, shall we?", he said with unexpected sternness. "Also, let's not talk about Alduin either. Let's just talk only about the future. Yours, mine and of our child. Speaking of which, you still haven't commented my poem".

When Agda gave him a confused look, Steinarius was quick to help her remember.

"The proposal poem. I'm still waiting for your opinion. Also, I'd like to have your answer. Agda Seafarer of Anvil, will you marry me and make me the happiest man on Nirn?"

Blame it on her nervousness or on her increased sensitivity, Agda couldn't reply to that question. Yet, when Steinarius saw her nod multiple times and when he noticed the happy tears on her face, he immediately realized what her answer was.

He and Agda were going to be the happiest family of Tamriel.


End file.
